an appreciative approach to reframing conflict

An Appreciative

Approach to

Reframing ConflictResolving

Reframe “conflict” as an opportunity for creating an ideal working relationship:

What are the components of an ideal working

relationship?

Introduction:

Conflict

Foundational Paradigms Often, conflict is a result of miscommunication

(misunderstanding)

View “conflict” as an opportunity for personal and/or professional development

Improve work relationships and productivity To resolve conflict, need to communicate in

an effective manner

How Do You Knowit is

Conflict?People involved are:

Interdependent, Blaming each other, Emotionally upset, (angry, crying, etc.)

Affecting work relationships and productivity

Type A Type B Type C

Avoid personal contact Get others to take sides Sweaty palms

Write memos instead of talking Shout Nervous gestures

Withhold needed information Pre-empting (getting there first) Closed body posture

Not return messages Threaten Tense facial expression

Delay giving required support Undermine opponent’s reputation Cry

Passive Aggressive Unintentional

How Individuals Address Conflict

CAUTION: Don’t always follow your initial instinct. Your first reaction may be wrong. The “fight or flight” response is a physiological response to danger. It focuses on what’s wrong in a situation - it is likely to hurt work relationships - and create more situations perceived as danger.

Positive Things that Come Out of Conflict?

Increased motivation and energy available to apply to required tasks.

Increased innovativeness of individuals and the system -because of greater diversity of viewpoints and a heightened sense of necessity.

Development of an increased understanding of individuals’ own position - because the conflict forces them to articulate their views and to bring forth supporting agreements.

Each party may achieve greater awareness of their own identity.

Participants learn methods to manage their own internal conflicts.

Appreciative Approachto

Reframing Conflict using the

Appreciative Inquiry Process

4 Dimensions

Discovery

Dream

Design

DestinyLife-Giving

Process

of Appreciative Inquiry

Appreciative Inquiryvs.

Problem Solving Problem Solving Identifies –

problem Conducts –

analysis of cause Brainstorms –

solutions Develops –

action plans

Appreciative Inquiry Appreciates –

what gives life? Imagines –

what might be? Determines –

what should be? Creates –

what will be?

1st Dimension:

Discovery“The Best of What Is”

Affirmative Topic:Effective Communication

Effective Communication1. Deal with the Emotions first

2. Feelings as Data

3. Listen First to Understand - until you are able to experience the other side

4. Gather the facts5. Hear each person’s side of the story6. Decide if you need additional help from

Employee Relations

1st Dimension: Discovery

Examine the PositiveFactors in the Relationship: What is working in the relationship? What are the benefits of the

relationship? Tell me about a time when you

successfully worked together? What do we agree on? What are our individual/team

strengths?

1st Dimension: Discovery

2nd Dimension:

Dream

“What it might be?”

“Envision It!”

Envision the IdealCommunication Relationship

What does it feel like? What does it sound like? What does it look/sound

like to others?

What do you really want?

2nd Dimension: Dream

Rapid Generation of Ideas without clarification or evaluation

Quantity - not Quality Be as Creative as possible

2nd Dimension: Dream

ExaminePossible Positive Factors

in theCommunication Relationship:

3rd Dimension:

DesignWhat should be the “Ideal”

ofEffective Communication?

3 Types of Outcomes

Win-Lose Lose-Lose

Win-Win

3rd Dimension: Design

Look for Win-Win Resolution

Fundamental Paradigms: Effective, long-term relationships

require mutual benefit Reconciliation & collaboration is

not weak – it’s smart ! Win-Lose or Lose-Lose outcomes

are counterproductive in the long run

3rd Dimension: Design

Stay Focused on the “Ideal” Conflict tends to divert our attention from

our real interests by creating another interest – surviving, or winning

Basic, instinctive interest (surviving/winning) may cloud our interests & make it harder to resolve conflict

Step away from the conflict, & anybody involved in the conflict, to gain perspective

Think about what you would want if you could have a wish – that’s your true interest

3rd Dimension: Design

Conciliatory Gestures Verbal statements – or parts of statements –

made during conflict resolution that expose the speaker’s vulnerability to exploitation by the other (s)

3rd Dimension: Design

Kinds of Conciliatory Gestures: Apologizing Owning responsibility Conceding Self-disclosing Expressing positive feelings/thoughts for the other Initiating a Win-Win approach to the situation

Accentuate the Positive,Ignore the Negative

SmartManaging

How? Acknowledge the conciliatory gesture by showing your appreciation of it, and reciprocate.

Conciliatory gestures are often mixed with some sort of hostile comments. It’s best to disregard the aggressive words & tone and focus instead on the conciliatory.

3rd Dimension: Design

Partner on Design Collaboration One-sided solutions not imposed – no power plays No walk-aways Need buy-in

3rd Dimension: Design

Good Deal:To effect real change

Good Deal An agreement describing how the parties will interact in the future

Balanced Behaviorally specific Written

3rd Dimension: Design

4th Dimension:

DestinyWhat should we do

to sustain the change?

Sustaining Change Nurture the new relationship Reward improved

performance Develop & renew resources

on a regular basis Be proactive

4th Dimension: Destiny

Appreciative Inquiry “4-D” Cycle Revisited

Discovery - The best of what is Deal with Emotions and Feelings Listen First to Understand Gather the Facts Need help?

Dream - What might be? Envision it! Design - What should be the ideal?

Win-Win Stay Focused Conciliatory Gestures Partner on a Good Deal

Destiny – Sustain the Change Prevent More Challenges Don’t Back Out