brave communication week 4

Brave Communication!!

Keeping Our Love “On”

Tuesday Nights November 17 - December 15 Week 4 December 8, 2015!

Led by Brent Lokker and Russ Fochler

Keep Your Love OnA Video Series & Book by Danny Silk

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Chapter 1

Keep Your Love On - Chapter 1 - Powerful People - Powerful Relationships

Danny Silk www.lovingonpurpose.com

PowerlessPeople:

• Liveanxiousandwantcontrolofothers

• Blameothers(“you’rethereasonI’mbehavingthisway”)

• Takeontheroleofvictim• Identifya“badguy”• Lookforrescuers• Say,“I’lltry.Ihaveto.Ican’t.”

PowerfulPeople:

• Willnotassumethepositionofvictim.• Havenobadguysanddonotrecruitarescuer

• Requirerespectfulrelationships• Setlimitswithabusivepeople• Givegoodinformation• Managethemselvesregardlessofwhatothersdo

• Say,“Iwill!Ican!”

3TypesofRelating:

1.Powerless+Powerless=Controlling2.Powerful+Powerless=Dependent3.Powerful+Powerful=Free

Exercise:

Keep Your Love On - Chapter 8 - Boundaries - Levels of Intimacy

Danny Silk www.lovingonpurpose.com

Boundaries:

Boundaries communicate value. What you value you protect.!

To have a powerful “Yes”, you need to be powerful saying “No”.

It’s Your Job to:Protect your connection with God!

Protect your connection with your Spouse!

Manage your relationship with your children!

Manage your time!

Manage your Finances!

Manage your health!

Communicate the level of intimacy and access someone has with you

RememberYour goal is: Intimacy and Connection!

Your “Prime Directive” is not “Walls and Boundaries are the the most important thing in my life.”!

As we embrace responsibility for the relationships and priorities of our life, we also hear Jesus’ call: “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matt 16:25 ESV

Just with yourself:Are there relationships that have strained or stressed because you have trouble communicating and living your priorities and boundaries?!

This can go both ways: !

Key relationships you are not prioritizing. !

People who expect more access to your energy, time, and resources — than the “circle” you have them in.!

What are you going to do?

Questions?