bully neutralizer

Make Your Class a “Bully Free Zone”

Presenter:

Shannon J. Holden

www.newteacherhelp.com

Overview of Today’s Session• What is bullying?

• Who are the bullies?

• Bullying in your classroom

• Bullying outside of your classroom

• Cyberbulling

Overview of Today’s Session• What YOU can do about bullying

• Why efforts to stop bullying have failed

• The cost of bullying

• Bullying resources

Stop Bullying at Your School!

• Check out a FREE lesson from my latest online course for students and teachers called “Bully Neutralizer”

• http://bit.ly/BullyLesson1

• This course educates students and teachers, and protects administrators from lawsuits!

What is Bullying?• Bullying can take many forms:

– Physical (pushing, punching, tripping, kicking)– Irritation (flicking, poking, tapping, slapping)– Humiliation (I took your stuff, slapped books)– Pranks (elected SN girl to homecoming court)– Words (name-calling, rumor-spreading, threats)– Exclusion (I’m having a party…you aren’t invited)– Cyber (texts, FB posts, embarrassing pics)

• It is difficult to stop because it can occur anytime, anywhere

Who Are the Bullies?• It’s not just the big kid

• Kids feel power in groups

• The “Queen Bee” will attack when threatened

• Kids will say stuff online they would never say to someone’s face

• Younger kids put their hands on other people as a form of communication (and they don’t think of it as bullying when they are doing it)

Flickety-Slappy-Tap• I wrote an article about how kids

communicate through touch called “Flickety-Slappy-Tap”

• http://www.newteacherhelp.com/Flickety_Slappy-Tap.html

Flickety Slappy-Tap• FST is difficult to deal with because students

really don’t think it is bullying

• The victim will sometimes do the same thing to other kids, but report the treatment to their parents when it happens to them

• Kids don’t understand the difference about FST when they do it to kids that are NOT their friend

“We Were Just Playing Around”• Kids bully others, then give the excuse “We

were just playing around” when you call them on it

• I wrote an article about this!

• http://www.newteacherhelp.com/-Just_Playing_Around_.html

• I love calling parents and they say “Johnny said he was just playing around” as if YOU are the problem for having the audacity to interrupt their child’s play time

Bullying in Your Classroom• The rule in your classroom should be this:

• “Do not touch anyone else, or their stuff”

• Students should not give their opinion of other students, or the quality of another student’s answers during class

• NEVER laugh when a student makes fun of another student!

• You should tell students to THINK before they speak

THINK Before You Speak• T – Is it true?

• H – Is it helpful?

• I – Is it inspiring?

• N – Is it necessary?

• K – Is it kind?

• This is what you should tell your students to do before they speak in your classroom

• Bring harsh consequences to those who violate this policy

Bullying Outside of Your Classroom• You may think that you have no control of

bullying that happens outside of your classroom

• Make your classroom a “safe haven” for victims

• Patrol the hallway during class changes to spot hallway bullying and “Flickety Slappy-Tap”

Bullying Outside of Your Classroom

• Report incidents to the office immediately

• Speak to students (and their parents) if you observe them bullying or “Playing Around”

Cyberbullying• In the olden days, there wasn’t much school

officials could do about cyberbullying

• Many states have passed laws giving school officials the power to punish cyberbullies if it can be proven that the cyberbullying “caused substantial disruption to the educational environment”

• As an administrator, I have bullied students print out the FB posts, texts, tweets, or emails from the bully, and use it as evidence

What YOU Can Do About Bullying• Don’t sit around and say “Stop, bullies!” like

everyone else

• DO something!

• Report bullies to administration

• Monitor students during class changes, during class, and in the cafeteria

• Call parents of bullies to let them know how their child is acting at school

• Let victims know that they can report to you

Addressing the “Culture of Silence”

• There is a culture in most schools that discourages students from coming forward

• “Snitches get stitches”

• To become a “trusted” adult, you cannot reveal who is giving you information

Becoming a “Trusted” Adult

• Once you achieve “Trusted” status, your credibility in the building goes WAY up for three reasons:– Students know they can come to you– You are aware of most of the things happening in

the school– Students KNOW you know what’s going on

• I would say that you have “Street Cred”, but I have been told that the term is no longer used : )

How to Report to the Office• If the school has security cameras:

– “Just a heads-up in case you get a phone call – I saw Billy Zimmerman put another kid in a head lock by Room 44 at 1:18 pm today.”

• If the school does not have security cameras:– “Just a heads-up in case you get a phone call – I

saw Billy Zimmerman put another kid in a head lock today in between 5th & 6th Period. The victim was Sam Jones. If you could keep his name out of it he would really appreciate it.”

Addressing Parents of Bully• NEVER tell a parent that their child is a bully

• They will not believe you, and they will not listen to another word you say

• Tell the parent “Your child is being unkind to other students” or “Your child is exhibiting behaviors that could turn into bullying if we don’t do something now”

Addressing Parents of Victim• Tell parents that their child has to report to an

adult every time they are bullied, so something can be done about it

• Bad advice parents give their kids:– “Hit the bully back”– “Carry a weapon for protection”– “Don’t tell on the bully, it will just make it worse”– “That school doesn’t do anything about bullying”

• Assure parent that something will be done

Why Efforts to Stop Bullying Have Failed• We never focus on the bully!

• I find tons of products that target– The Victim– The Bystanders– Parents of the Victim– School Personnel– The Community

• MY product targets the source of the problem – the bully and his/her parents!

Bullying Resources• “Bully Neutralizer” is a course that schools

are using to punish, educate, and rehabilitate bullies (and their parents)

Advice For Victims

• Stay with your friends or in a group– Try not to end up in the bathroom alone

• Walk confidently with your head held high– Bullies target the weak and unsure

Advice For Victims• Answer the bully in a calm way

– Don’t act like the bully is intimidating you

• Don’t let the bully see that you are upset– The bully is trying for a reaction from you– If you react, it will embolden the bully to keep

doing whatever it is that bothered you

Advice For Victims• Avoid places where bullying happens

– Hallway that may not be supervised– Empty classrooms– Bathroom

• Don’t try to get even or carry a weapon for protection– Bad advice– Will get YOU in trouble– Takes the focus away from the bully and puts it

on you

Advice For Victims

• Tell an adult such as a teacher, parent, bus driver, or neighbor– Keep telling so that something can be done– It is not “tattling”

• Walk away and ignore the bully– The BEST advice

Advice For Victims• Remind yourself that the bully has the

problem….not you– You are not the only one this person is bullying– Bullies will have problems in later life

Advice For Victims

• Don’t “Play Around” with others…even your friends!

• If you are known as a person who likes to push, poke, tap, slap other people – a bully will do it to you and use “We were just playing around” as an excuse

Advice For Bystanders

• Encourage bullied student to tell an adult what happened– Offer to go with the student to the office or nurse– Explain that if it isn’t reported, no one can do

anything about it– Explain that others will be tormented by the bully

if nothing is done

Advice For Bystanders• Speak up and tell the bully to stop

– Try to say it in a way that doesn’t make the bully mad, or think you are challenging the bully

– “You wouldn’t like it if someone did the same thing to you”

Advice For Bystanders• Refuse to be a part of the bullying

– Laughing at the actions of the bully lets people know that you agree with what is being done

– Standing by and watching lets people know that you agree with what is being done

– One day it may be YOU that is being bullied…would you want people to stand around and laugh as YOU are humiliated?

Advice For Bystanders• Be friendly & helpful to the person being

bullied– Offer to help pick up the books thrown on the

ground by the bully– Offer to be a witness when they go to the office– Offer to walk the victim to the nurse

The Cost of Bullying• Numerous young people commit suicide

every year due to bullying

• This has led several states to strengthen their stance on bullying

New State Laws• Old laws (like Title IX) said that schools could

be held responsible for damages if “they knew about the bullying and did nothing”

• New laws in several states now say schools could be held responsible for damages if “they knew or should have known….and did not take effective action” against the bully

• A whole bunch of educators are about to get sued when parents find out!

My Advice to Teachers & Administrators

• Take steps against the bully, and document, document, document!

• My product is great because it shows you took action against the bully and his/her parents

Bully Neutralizer• I make students who engage in bullying

behaviors take an online course I made

• The course contains lessons, PowerPoints, videos, and online quizzes that the bully must pass in order to satisfactorily complete the course

Bully Neutralizer• In extreme cases, I require a parent to take

the course with their child

• I document the fact that the child has taken the course

• I keep this documentation in case the parents of a bullying victim attempt to sue me or the school for “not doing anything” to stop the bullying

The Bullying Matrix• Included in my ebook is a creation I call

“The Bullying Matrix”

• It is the actual matrix that I use to reduce bullying behaviors at my Middle School in Missouri

• I give the matrix to parents, and let them know what level their child is on

The Bullying Matrix

• The matrix is a series of steps, each one includes a more intrusive action against the bully

• Each step includes a documentation piece

• Parents actually like the matrix because there are no surprises

“Just Say No”• Lots of celebrities are lending a hand to end

bullying

• Here’s what they do: “Bullying HAS to stop!”

• I admire their effort, but they have no idea how to address this complex issue

• “Stop, bullies!” has solved our bullying problem about as effectively as “Just Say No” has solved our drug problem

My Attempt…• I have written reproducible documents with

steps to help:– Bullying victims– The “bully”– Parents of victims– Parents of the bully– School administrators– Teachers– Bystanders

• Print them out…hand them out!

For More Information

• If you need more information, or help with implementing the “Bully Neutralizer” program, contact me at

• shannon@digitallearningtree.com

• Put “Bully Neutralizer” as the subject of your email, and I will send you the ebook for FREE!