dealing with harassment

Dealing with Dealing with HarassmentHarassment

Presentation for the Concordia Presentation for the Concordia University Intramural Hockey Referees University Intramural Hockey Referees

2004 Season2004 SeasonBy Lior Doron M.Sc. By Lior Doron M.Sc.

AgendaAgenda

• Introduction• Conflict Avoidance = Better Communication• When things go wrong

Ideal Responsesa) Mental

b) Physical (Poses)

c) Getting Mentally Tough

• Q & A

Sports PsychologySports Psychology

• Create, recreate and maintain peak performance

• Good performances and make better

• Optimize thinking so that performance is enhanced

CommunicationCommunication

• One of the best way to avoid conflict in to work on your COMMUNICATION skills.

• When can you work on this?

• Use your judgment

Communication

Before During After

Communicating – Prior to the GameCommunicating – Prior to the Game

• Upon Arriving to the Rink 1) Be professional in your dialogue2) Look (somewhat) professional 3) Be on time (ideally 15 min before)

• Pre-game warm - upa) Meeting with captain?b) Dropping the puck

Communicating – During the GameCommunicating – During the Game

• 1) Use your voice

• 2) Verbal Cues – Listen to them

• 3) Penalty Procedures – Avoid path of

player

Hockey Rink DiagramHockey Rink Diagram

Communicating – During the GameCommunicating – During the Game

• Dealing with “the FAN”

• Avoid YOU and replace with I

I noticed that…

I hear your frustration but…

I realize that…

Communicating – After the GameCommunicating – After the Game

• Talk with players near referee circle– Allows exchange of ideas rather than

us vs. them notion

• Talk with your partner

• Communicate with myself, other referees, other tools

Communicating Your ImageCommunicating Your Image

• Realize that you are constantly being watched (sounds scary)

• The image you portray has an impact on the way players talk to you

• Then, it affects the way players may talk to other referees

Friendly or Foe?Friendly or Foe?

• Receptive?• Listening?• Good Communication?• Say “that’s enough”…

afterwards onus on player

Friendly or Foe?Friendly or Foe?

• In control (emotions)• Calm, cool collective• Use of hands (open vs. closed palm, pointing)

Friendly or FoeFriendly or Foe

• Eye contact, lacks confidence • One person at a time (especially with many

penalties)• Sure of explanation, clear, concise, receptive

Friendly or LAZY?!?Friendly or LAZY?!?

• What does this communicate?

In AdversityIn Adversity

• Communicate in a calm, cool collective way

• Think carefully of your words (I vs. You)

• Be sensitive to your expressions, gestures and your poses

• Use your judgment

Mental ToughnessMental Toughness

• Reaction after 1, 2 or 3 abusive games

• Interpreting stress (yell at Jersey)

• Not taking things personally

• Focus on things that are in your control

Gaining Mental ToughnessGaining Mental Toughness

Readings

Me

Significant OtherExperience

Insulation

Partner

20 Other Referees

You

Abusive Games ProcedureAbusive Games Procedure

• Question yourself & your abilities

• Referee world (we do not win)

• Evaluate your own performance • Positioning on goals• Enjoyment of game (notice a good pass, break-out etc.)• Etc.

• What do you do?

Comebacks – Responding to Comebacks – Responding to AbuseAbuse

• Ignoring, penalizing and responding• You missed a call Ref!

– I didn’t see it but I’ll try and look for the next one

• There are two teams out there!

- Yes, but your team is playing more aggressive• Is the player suspended?

- I do not know – speak to Mike

Other?!?

Questions?Questions?

• Questions related to dealing with harassment or other sports psychology issues?

• Contact informationLior DoronYour Mental Skills Coachhttp://www.flowinsports.com ldoron@flowinsports.com