how to destroy your email program

HOW TO DESTROY YOUR

EMAIL PROGRAM

January 14th, 2011

Webinar

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Access code: 689-554-441

Webinar ID: 831-045-944

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Welcome. Please create an account or Sign in.

Bury the sign up at the bottom of the page.

Make it 3 pt font and smaller than all other

text on the page.

Never test placement of your email sign up.

If they do find it make them go to another

page and require 15 pieces of information from

them that you will never use.

Make sure you make the social media

buttons way larger and more prominent than

your email sign up, because you can easily

measure revenue on them.

What about hide and seek on the unsubscribe?

6 points for email1. Put it all the way at the bottom and make the subscriber scroll and scroll

and scroll.

2. Make it so they need a magnifying glass to find it buried in the legal

mumbo jumbo.

3. After they click unsubscribe tell them it might take 9 days to process

and then send them more email in the meantime.

4. When they unsubscribe, send them an email asking them if they meant

to unsubscribe. Rinse and repeat….over and over.

5. Offer no link. Ask them to reply to the email with the word

“unsubscribe” in the subject line. Make the reply address

“donotreply@xxxx.com.”

6. Lighten the text wherever the unsubscribe is so its hard to read.

#4 – Get Dirty

Ask the real tough questions in your program

POLL TIME

Do you know how long it has

been since subscribers opened

or clicked your email?

1 week

3 months

Never

Who cares

Who Cares….keep them on your list.

In.ac.tive [in-ak-tiv]:

adj.

1. Potential

Antonym: Not dead yet.

Things you should do to keep being dirty.

1. Forget about purging inactives. Who cares if they aren’t responding to your email. They might one day….right?

2. Your reputation means nothing with the ISP’s. Just set up a separate sub-domain when it goes bad.

3. Never take an active part in your delivery and put all your eggs in one basket.

4. Feedback loops are for wimps. Live dangerously and never check to see what your spam complaints are.

5. Increase your frequency to your inactives. Eventually they will unsubscribe or buy something.

6. Cave into pressure from senior level management and keep everyone on your list for as long as you can.

Send more. Make more.

Short term gain.

Who cares about long

term effects.

POLL TIME

Do you feel as if you send

too much or too little email?

too much

too little

I don’t know

60 emails

in 25 days.

82 emails in

44 days.

61 in November…

but wait, there’s more

Source: Chad White – The Retail Email Blog

64 thru December 27…

118Source: Chad White – The Retail Email Blog

Forget this stuff.

Why even tell them?

POLL TIME

Do you feel your acquisition

goals are realistic?

heck yeah

heck no

what goals?

3

7

Set unattainable goals

+ 10,500%

3

8

Live the dream…

Sanity Check

Oink. Oink.① Send as much email as

you can. Send it to the

point where the subscriber

can’t take it anymore. All

for the sake of making

your revenue number

today.

② Acquire email address

from any source you can

get your hands on. Never

measure the long term

impact of each of the

sources.

③ Buy a list of 50,000,000

email address for $99 or

less.

④ Cram as much content into

your emails as you can.

⑤ Never change. Never test.

Assume that since you are

making money, everything

is ok.

W

h

Social Media is

the new cool kid.

In 2010, 60% of US

Internet users ages

35 to 44 and one-half

of those in the 45-to-

54 age group will use

social networks at

least once a month.

- eMarketer

W

h

Email is for

old people

In fact…have you heard its dead

ABANDON SHIP!!!!

Email is not a

conversation?

27% of business executives worldwide

said they had already integrated social

media strategy into the email

marketing strategy. An additional 24%

said they have formulated an

integration strategy and are currently

researching implementation tactics. -

eMarketer

18% of business executives wanted to

add social components to their e-mail

campaigns and did not know where to

begin. - eMarketer

90% of respondents plan to integrate

social media into their email

campaigns in 2010. - GetResponse

DID YOU?...Really?

All right, we got

10,000 fans!

……now what?

Now this is

integration!!

43% of respondents revealed that they don’t need to show

positive ROI to get social media funding from their organization.

- King Fish Media

Does email have a seat at the table?

70% of email marketers say they don't have enough staff to prove ROI.

- EmailStatCenter.com

Make email

marketing the

myspace of the

marketing

department…

Get sucked in.

1. Hire twice as many people dedicated to social media.

2. Everyone knows that getting 10,000 likes on facebook is better than 5,000 email address.

3. Don’t follow anyone on twitter, just get followers and copy your email subject lines into your tweets. Its FREE!!

4. Triple your social media budget and steal the money from your alloted ESP’s money.

5. Send out 140 character emails.

6. In fact…abandon your email program for a quarter and watch the revenue pour in.

#1

E.E.

Blame others

when you

don’t execute

Email: So simple a

monkey can do it

Make email a priority

for someone with

other responsibilities

Always worry about how

your program is doing

compared to others.

Burn what you have or will learn.

But that’s not all…

#.75 Gut vs. Data

I like the

blue

button

Our

competitor

is doing it.

We should

do it too

LONG LIVE EMAIL

Get Started

Andrew Kordek Chief Strategist

andrew@trendlineinteractive.com

@andrewkordek

@trendlinei

More re-engagement tactics specifically tailored to your business

Lifecycle marketing strategy best practices

Email deliverability tips and consultation services

Best ways for integrating email & social media

Would you be interested in hearing

more from WhatCounts and

Trendline about any of the following:

Q & A

Next Webinar

“How to Deliver the Right Message at

the Right Time – A Ziff Davis Email

Marketing Case Study”

Wednesday, February 2nd

10:30 AM Pacific / 1:30 PM Eastern

Featuring Peter Westerman,

SVP Audience Marketing for Ziff Davis

Enterprise

Contact Trendline:

Web: www.trendlineinteractive.com

Twitter: @trendlinei or @andrewkordek

Skype: andrew.kordek

Phone: 224-633-3003

Email: andrew@trendlineinteractive

**Any other method you see fit**

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