how to energize the lion in your mirror, mmh1 31-17
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How to Energize the Lion in Your Mirror
Midland Health
January 31, 2017
Joe Tye, CEO and Head CoachValues Coach Inc.
Copyright © 2016, Values Coach Inc.
Definition: Organization
Two or more people in one space.
Guiding insight part 1
Culture does not change unless and until people change.
Guiding insight part 2
People will not change unless given tools and structure, and inspired to use them.
“I got a whole new team and didn’t have to change the people because they changed themselves.”
Paul Utemark, CEOFillmore County Health SystemGeneva, Nebraska
Who’s weird?
Same job. Different attitude.
Who do you think is happier?
Who would you rather work with?
Who would you rather live with?
Who would you rather be like?
You will never exceed the expectations that you set for yourself.
You will never exceed the limitations that you place on yourself.
Success and failure won’t change you...
They will make you more of who you already are.
I am going to challenge the assumptions
you make about
yourself
3 things that disempower your lion
Disempowering source #1
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem is one of the most potent weapons YOWE has to prevent you from thinking big and acting on your dreams
Everyone experiences this at least some of the time –
Even big shot CEOs at big companies (except at that level it’s called Imposter Syndrome)
Low self-esteem is often an excuse for not trying
Low self-esteem can keep you glued
to TV…
When your best self would be taking night school classes
Disempowering source #2
Self-limiting beliefs
Self-limiting beliefs are the impediments you place upon yourself
Old Young Broke
The Terrible Too’s
Or whatever other excuse fits
No one would support me
I don’t have the skills
I don’t have time
The Big But’s
You must believe you are capable of achieving your authentic goals
And that you deserve to enjoy the
fruits of your success
“Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they are yours.”
Richard Bach: Illusions
Disempowering source #3
The negativity of others
Never allow the emotional vampires to drag you down
At all costs avoid the company of negative people
How to see the Lion in Your
Mirror – 8 Strategies
Strategy #1
Get very clear about your personal values
What are your values?
Core Action Value #1
AuthenticityThe Cornerstones1. Self-awareness2. Self-mastery3. Self-belief4. Self-truth
Do you want to be one of a million or one in a million?
Set a goal so big that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the person who can
Core Action Value #2
IntegrityThe Cornerstones1. Honesty2. Reliability3. Humility4. Stewardship
If you know who you are then you will know what to do
Core Action Value #3
AwarenessThe Cornerstones1. Mindfulness2. Objectivity3. Empathy4. Reflection
The key to success in every field
Core Action Value #4
CourageThe Cornerstones1. Confrontation2. Transformation3. Action4. Connection
Core Action Value #5
Perseverance The Cornerstones
1. Preparation2. Perspective3. Toughness4. Learning
Every great accomplishment was once the “impossible dream” of a dreamer who simply refused to quit when things got tough.
The bigger the dream – the greater the challenges!
Core Action Value #6
Faith The Cornerstones1. Gratitude2. Forgiveness3. Love4. Spirituality
Faith is a power that is only just beginning at the point
where certainty ends
Faith is hardest to find when you need it the most
Core Action Value #7
PurposeThe Cornerstones1. Aspiration2. Intentionality3. Selflessness4. Balance
The work that you choose to do, and the attitude with which you choose to do that work, are the hammer and chisel that
carve the statue that is you.
Self Made Man by Bobbie Carlyle
Core Action Value #8
VisionThe Cornerstones1. Attention2. Imagination3. Articulation4. Belief
Then put foundations under them.
Build your castles in the air…
Thoreau
Core Action Value #9
FocusThe Cornerstones1. Target 2. Concentration3. Speed4. Momentum
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Core Action Value #10
EnthusiasmThe Cornerstones1. Attitude2. Energy3. Curiosity4. Humor
What could be more boring than industrial ventilation systems?
Core Action Value #11
ServiceThe Cornerstones1. Helpfulness2. Charity3. Compassion4. Renewal
Whatever you most need in life, the best way for you to get it is to
help someone else get it who needs it even more than you do.
Core Action Value #12
Leadership
The Cornerstones1. Expectations2. Example3. Encouragement4. Celebration
A leader is someone who takes you to a place to which you didn’t know you wanted to go.
– Joel Barker
Servant leaders are
cairn builders
The goals you achieve
The contribution you make
The person you become
Will be determined by the values that
guide your life
Strategy #2
Check your attitude and take The Pickle Pledge
“We complain to get sympathy, attention, and to avoid stepping up to something we’re afraid of doing.”
Will Bowen: A Complaint Free World
94
“One toxically negative person can drag down morale and productivity of an entire work unit.”
95
The simple promise that will change your life…
And change your organization…
Strategy #3
Make fear your ally
Fear is the most serious of all learning disabilities!
Edward Hallowell: Worry
The absence of fear is not courage!
The absence of fear is…
No Fear, No Courage…
Big Fear, Big Courage…
Anxiety
Fear
Worry
Anxiety
Three bad things happen when you in the thrall of anxiety…
Bad Thing #1
Memory is distorted: past successes seem small and insignificant while past failures seem huge and certain to be repeated.
Bad Thing #2
Perception is distorted: the dangers facing you are blown out of proportion while you underestimate the resources you have.
Bad Thing #3
Vision is distorted: you cannot see the possibilities for a great outcome because you are so fixated on images of doom.
Anxiety tries to become fear.
Paul Tillich: The Courage to Be
Fear
Fear can paralyze or it can catalyze
You’ve heard that the acronym F.E.A.R. stands for Fantasized Evidence Appearing Real.It also stands for…
Fabulous Excuse for Avoiding Responsibility
Are people afraid of change?
Confront your irrational fears
Worry
Worry is like paying interest on a debt that you probably don’t even owe!
Toxic worry is abuse of the God-given gift of imagination!
The difference between courageous and crazy is usually evident only in retrospect
Strategy #4
Make adversity your teacher
“It’s not what happens to you it’s what you do about it.”
W Mitchell
Everything can look like a failure in the middle!
“Brick walls are not there to stop you, they are there to make you prove how much you want something.”
Randy Pausch: The Last Lecture
The walls are not optional
Letting them stop you is
How much do you
want it?
How badly to you want to:
Get out of debt?
How badly to you want to:
Lose weight?
How badly to you want to:
Get a graduate degree?
How badly to you want to:
Write your book?
How badly to you want to:
Start your business?
How badly to you want to:
Travel the world?
Once more into
the breach!
143
Strategy #5
Erase the malignant echo of negative self-talk
Negative self-talk is telling yourself lies…And then believing those lies to be true.
The most important speech any of us ever give (the one you were never trained to give) is...
147
What is the first word a child learns to say?
For a variety of evolutionary reasons, the human mind automatically gravitates toward negative, frightening and depressing thoughts.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: The Evolving Self: A Psychology for the New Millennium
Experts refer to ANTs – automatic negative thoughts
Psychologists say that up to 80% of self-talk is negative – and that we can abuse ourselves at a speed of 400 words per minute!
You would never tolerate anyone else speaking to you the way you allow your spoiled inner brat to get away with.
Like graffiti on a subway car – after a while you don’t notice it
You might even think it’s beautiful
But…
156
A crucial point!
That voice will always be in the second person. It’s not you talking!!!
“I’m not good enough”
You’re not good enough
Why is that?
161
Three steps for using the power of Metaphorical Visualization™ to erase the graffiti of negative self-talk:
162
Step #1
Visualize the words as clearly as you possibly can as graffiti that has been scrawled on the walls of your mental attic.
165
Step #2
Visualize a janitor (The Janitor in Your Attic™) painting over the graffiti and replacing it with positive affirmations.
Step #3
Replace the bad lies you tell yourself about yourself with good lies about yourself…
You can rewire the hardware by reprogramming the software!
170
Caveat!
For your challenge to your Spoiled Inner Brat to be credible you must also take action if what Brat says is factually accurate.
171
Strategy #6
Make your body play a constructive part in that inner dialogue…
Your body tells your mind how you feel…
Power Posing
How your mouth tells your mind what to think…
Smile from the outside in and you’ll eventually be smiling from the inside out.
Strategy #7
Leave behind the emotional baggage
Strategy #8
Create memories of the future
You can remember the future more clearly and more accurately…
Than you can remember the past.
Transform mere dreams into “Memories of the Future”
183
The difference between wishful thinking and positive thinking…
184
Wishful thinking is hoping for something and waiting for someone else to make it happen.
185
Positive thinking is expecting something and working to make it happen.
Define your future by your hopes and not by
your fears, by your dreams and not by your
memories
Do you read your horoscope?
Joe’s Youroscope
Surprising good news will come to you from out of the blue – but it will be disguised as an unpleasant chore so pay attention…
Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)
You will meet a stranger and take the first step toward having a lifelong friend…
Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)
A worry that has been keeping you awake at night will prove to have been interest on a debt that you do not owe…
Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)
Call a friend, call a prospect, and call your Mom.
Strategy #9
Take to heart the seven promises of The Self-Empowerment Pledge™
Seven Simple Promises That Will Change Your
Life*
* One for each day of the week.
If you’ve been waiting for someone else to empower you, you should know that…
No one can empower you but – YOU – and once you have empowered yourself…No one can take that power away.
If you knew it would change your life for the better – profoundly and permanently – would you invest …
A minute a day for the next 365
days
Would you give up one television commercial a day for a year to change your life?
You
bet!If your answer is yes, here’s what you need to do.
Every morning start your day by making that day’s promise – which will take you about 15 seconds.
Repeat the promise again in in the middle of your work day.
Once more before you leave for home.
I am responsible,
accountable, and
determined!
And one more time right before you go to bed.
4 x 15 seconds = 1 minute
Repeat these promises
like you really mean
them!
Let’s take a look at the seven promises…
Monday’s Promise: ResponsibilityI will take complete responsibility for my health, my happiness, my success, and my life, and will not blame others for my problems or predicaments.
Tuesday’s Promise: AccountabilityI will not allow low self-esteem, self-limiting beliefs, or the negativity of others to prevent me from achieving my authentic goals and from becoming the person I am meant to be.
Wednesday’s Promise: DeterminationI will do the things I’m afraid to do, but which I know should be done. Sometimes this will mean asking for help to do that which I cannot do by myself.
Thursday’s Promise: ContributionI will earn the help I need in advance by helping other people now, and repay the help I receive by serving others later.
Friday’s Promise: ResilienceI will face rejection and failure with courage, awareness, and perseverance, making these experiences the platform for future acceptance and success.
Saturday’s Promise: PerspectiveThough I might not understand why adversity happens, by my conscious choice I will find strength, compassion, and grace through my trials.
Sunday’s Promise: FaithMy faith and my gratitude for all that I have been blessed with will shine through in my attitudes and in my actions.
Here’s WHY it works…
You keep promising yourself that you will be responsible, accountable, and determined; make a contribution, be resilient in the face of adversity, have a positive perspective, and that your faith will shine through.
Then you catch yourself whining and complaining, procrastinating, gossiping, blaming others for your problems, taking when you should be giving, and pretendingthat you have no power.
Cognitive Dissonance
Which is trying to simultaneously hold two incompatible beliefs
I am responsible,
accountable, and
determined! It’s not my fault,
they did it to me,
this is so unfair.
At that point, one of two things MUST happen. Either you take the easy way and stop making the promises…
Or you keep making the promises until you begin to change your attitudes and yourbehaviors.
And as you do that, you will begin to achieve better results in every dimension of your life.
Read these seven promises one more time…
Ask yourself these two questions…
Question #1:
If you personally were to take these seven promises to heart, would you be better off than where you are headed now – personally, professionally, financially, and spiritually?
Question #2:
If everyone where you work made a good faith effort to live these seven promises, would you do a better job of serving customers and of supporting each other?
If your answer to these two questions is…
And if you’re being honest, that’s what your answer will be.
Then why wouldn’t you invest those 365 minutes in yourself? Do it, because no one can empower you but you.
Will you give up one minute a day with…
The Advanced Course
It begins with a vision
239
And one last thing…
Let me introduce you to the person you once were
Wouldn’t it be nice to become that you again?
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