john's groundbreaking conflict resolution training

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Supervision and LeadershipRealities, Risks and Rewards

Conflict ResolutionTrainer: John J. Sarno

Employers Association of NJ

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Conflict ResolutionWhat this session is about

Gaining Insight Into Conflict Conflict Resolution Styles Conflict Resolution Strategies

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Conflict is part of life

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How do you define conflict?

What kind of conflicts can you identify?

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The Challenge

What will it take to transform destructive conflict

into constructive conflict

at home, at work,

in the community& in the world?

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What Will It Take?

Open Door Good Communications Clear Expectations Taking Responsibility Caring

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Escalation of Conflict

Latent Tensions

Overt Conflict

Power Struggle

Destructive Violence

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Why Conflict Escalates

Latent Tensions

Overt Conflict

Power Struggle

Destructive Violence

Frustrated needs

Poor skills

Weak relationships

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The Hanwan Shipping Case

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Hanwan Shipping (continued)

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Why Conflict Escalates

Latent Tensions

Overt Conflict

Power Struggle

Destructive Violence

Conflicting interests

Disputed rights

Unequal power

Injured relationships

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Hanwan Shipping(The Incident)

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Why Conflict Escalates

Latent Tensions

Overt Conflict

Power Struggle

Destructive Violence

No attention

No limitation

No protection

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Catching Conflict Before It Escalates

Prevent

Resolve

ContainPower

Struggle

Overt Conflict

Latent Tensions

Destructive Violence

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Prevent

Sources of Tension

Frustrated Needs

Poor Skills

Weak Relationships

Ways to PreventClear Expectations

Feedback/Fairness

Open Communications

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Resolve

Sources of Conflict

Conflicting Interests

Disputed Rights

Unequal Power

Injured Relationships

Ways to Resolve

Listening

Empathy

Strategy

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Why is conflict so difficult to resolve?

Stress

Emotion

Provocative Political and Cultural Signals

Fatigue

Apathy

Irrationality

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There Are Several Approaches to Resolving Conflict

1. Accommodation – “I lose, you win”2. Avoidance – “We both lose”3. Competition – “I win, you lose”4. Compromise – “We both win or we both lose5. Collaboration – “I win, you win”

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Most people have a dominate style

What is yours?

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Supervisors Must Be Able to Resolve Conflicts

What Approach Should You Take?

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How important is the relationship?

How important is the outcome?

Accommodate

I Lose, You Win

Avoid

I Lose, You Lose

Collaborate

I Win, You Win

Compromise

We Both Win,

We Both LoseCompete

I Win, You Lose

1 2 3 4 5

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2 3

4

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Importance of outcomeLow Medium High

Impo

rtan

ce o

f rel

atio

nshi

p

Low

Med

ium

Hig

h

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Let’s See How It Works

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Best and Worst Case Styles

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Acknowledge EmotionsParaphrasing is more than repeating.

Listener must incorporate attitudes and emotion.

55% of a speakers attitudes and feelings is communicated nonverbally.

Only 7% of feelings are articulated verbally.

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Summarizing What the Speaker Says

Summarizing helps to make sure what was said. It also helps the speaker because it gives them the opportunity to hear what was said

FeelingsFacts

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Use Neutral Language

Statement: “You are so stupid! I hate it when you don’t listen to me!”

Summary: “You are upset because you believe I’m not listening to you.”

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Some Tips on Handling Difficult Employees

Separate the behavior from the person. You can care about someone even if you disapprove of his or her conduct.

Remember that people usually rationalize their behavior no matter how bad it is. (“I was only following orders.”) Do not challenge, provoke or threaten.

Stay calm. Don’t antagonize or make matters worse.

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Successful conflict resolution assumes the parties to the conflict are acting rationally

But……..But……..

people do not always act rationallypeople do not always act rationally

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A piece of mail promoting bank loans was sent to 70,000 customers. *

Interest rates were almost the least important factor in whether people took the offer.

Factors that were considered: Whether brochure featured an attractive woman Whether a lottery ticket was offered Whether the offer had a deadline

*Harvard Magazine, March 2006 Study, Behavioral Economics

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Two-thirds of subjects said they would be happier at a company where they earned $33,000 while their colleagues earned $30,000, than a company where they earned $35,000, while their colleagues earned $38,000.

56% of participants chose a hypothetical job paying $50,000 per year while everyone else earned $25,000, rather than a job paying $100,000 per year others made $200,000.

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POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

Describe inappropriate behavior

Explain negative impact on the workplace

Discuss changes needed

Outline consequences if behavior not corrected

Document / follow-up

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The purpose of discipline is to correct

NOT to punish

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Why is discipline viewed as punishment?

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Punishment breeds resentment, resistance and litigation

An ethical foundation supports discipline and discharge, when

necessary

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Unethical Discipline (Abuse of Power)

o Power Struggleso Difficulty in Setting Goalso Inability to Prioritizeo Lack of Motivationo Fear, Anxiety and Confusiono Lack of Empowerment or Feelings of Victimizationo Pessimismo Conflict

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Cross-cultural studies show that even if people personally disagree with a result, they will accept it if they perceive the process as “fair”.

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Verbal Counseling

Written Warning

Fair Discipline

When all else fails:When all else fails:

Discharge/TerminationDischarge/Termination

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• Be careful of bias and inconsistent treatment

• Expectations must be clearly communicated

Questions?

Thank You61