main azaad hun
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8/8/2019 Main Azaad Hun
1/5
J&K: We want azadi, Indian dogs go back
Maharashtra(irritated): Tichya aaila, another one! Dont you have something good
to do?
J&K (ignoring): We dont want youwe want freedom! Indian dogs go back
UP: Yeh kya bhaau??? Another target today for you? Whats happening here?
J&K: We dont want to talk to you; we will talk to Dilli only!
UP: Aila, this much tashan??? Are you listening bhaau? Arre o Dada, Bihari bhaiya,
Anna(s), Praji, Daju, come here all of youOh Chinkis, what are you doing there in
the east, you come here too, at once
Tamil Nadu: Yenna sollran? (What are you saying? {They dont know Hindi})
Bihar (to Tamil): Eee saalaAngrezi speak, bhau, you tell
Maharashtra (laughing): Speak English, yenna Rascala
Gradually everyone is gathering Praji, Daju, Chinkis and Bana too...
Punjab: Oh, what happened praji? Why are you shouting slogans?
J&K: Arent you aware of the cruelty that is being inflicted upon us? They hit us with
rifle butts, kick us, slap us, humiliate when they want
Daju: Really? Who does that?
J&K: What has happened to you, dont you read you the newspaper? Your forces arekilling us under their boots daily.
Chinkis (All together, laughing): Welcome to the world dude
Andhra Pradesh: So whats new in that? We are also killed by CRPF battalions
almost daily, fakely encountered
UP: Aur kya, you have not met our policewallahs! Once you meet them, voila
Andhra: Yeah, you know, Delhi has painted us red, everyone thinks that we are
Naxalied. I mean, come on, we have Hyderabad too
Karnataka: Learn from me dude, all that I am is Bengaluru, or may be some times
Mysore or Mangalore tooall perfect models of development!
Maharashtra: Oh, so does that mean that we can count Bellary as ours???
Karnataka: No, no, thats not what I meant
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8/8/2019 Main Azaad Hun
2/5
J&K (intervenes): Stop ityou guys are trivializing my struggle for independence!
Punjab: Independence? Dhheere bol bhaiIf dilli hears this na, none would be
spared. You know what they did to me
North East: They did the same to us, they have always
(As always the voice trails off into oblivion and is ignored)
Bihar: And whats more, you are the special child, most favored? What is it called UP
Bhaiya 370something?
UP: Batao, and they dont give us even a single penny, say that we are corrupt
None of the money reaches the poor. I am telling you, if you want the money to
reach poor, than give us more money
Bihar: They never even look at me, whosoever is governingwe are always
sidelined, and you want independenceHumko dekho, we are independent!
J&K: Have you ever been woken in the middle of the night? Have can you ever see
your entire family being butchered in one moment onlyyou cannotyou cannot
imagine, what it feels like.
Madhya Pradesh: Oh, this is really inhuman. How can they do this?
Rajasthan: Abbe chhup, even your aid will stopand you (to J&K), stop whining. You
are also Indian like us, learn to live with what you have.
J&K: Indian, like you??? Bull shit, we are just a colony for younot your part, never.
If we are also your part then why do you kill us, why shower us with bullets. Why killinnocent defenseless kids?
West Bengal: I agree with you, I am with you in your struggle. Dilli cannot pilfer your
resources and turn a blind eye to the people. Its high time we awaken the people to
a Marxian revolution.
Gujarat: O chup oye Dada! See what socialism did to you, Nano comes out of
Sanand now, not Singur
Uttarakhand: And from Pantnagar too
J&K: I dont have any interests in your revolution Marxist or Manmohanistwhere
is the development anyway? You say we are a part of India, we are a part of Bharat
Nirmaan, and they frisk us when they see Kashmir on our IDs, why? Why have you
not brought IT to us when half the country basks in its glory, where have you taken
our tourists to? Where is the development?
(UP, Bihar, North-East start laughing, Orissa joins)
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8/8/2019 Main Azaad Hun
3/5
UP: Dude, have you been to Mirzapur, Etah
Bihar (cuts in between): Or even, Patna!
J&K: Yes, yes, keep laughingyou have always done that to us!
North-East: Nai boss, honestly, you must send people beyond Bluru, Mumbai andDillirest of the India(sighs)
J&K: But where are the people to be sent? All the dreamsthey are, dreams. The
only knocks we heard were of the military. The only parades we witnessed were the
military identification parades. The dreams that we dreamt were shattered by the
sound of the bullets. The games we played were of life and death
Tamil Nadu: Do you think that rest of the country does not have problems? Look at
the CWG, if only it was to be held in Chennai and not Delhi, we would have shown
the world what TamiIndians are! These north Indians have brought shame to the
country.
UP: Saale Anna, khilate kya wahan pe? Idli Dosa Sambhar??? Everything is good
now with CWG
Punjab: Yes, Delhi is the best place to hold such eventif the games would have
been held in Chennai, all the Goras would have become Kalas and (learnt Tamil)
Blaming North Indians, ruddy are you? All you want to do is to make a separate
countryAnd you (facing Kashmir), you want azadi to go to Pakistan? Never (fire
in the eyes)
J&K: No, azadi for us does not mean merger with Pak! I dont subscribe to LeT orHizbul. We dont want azadi their way
Madhya Pradesh: Chalo yaar, at least you dont want to go with Pakistanthose
guys are waiting to implode too. But you must understand that such issues cannot
be found solution to in streets, by stone pelting
J&K: Has Dilli, left any other method for us? We have waited 60 years, all you give
us is empty promises...There has been a denial on the part of your political set-up to
even acknowledge that we are in pain.
Bihar: Empty promises(Ribs UP) see what happens when the Prime Ministers come
from UP.
Tamil Nadu: I am telling you, Thiru Karunanidhi will be the best PM
UP: Issiliye, that is why, saala you are in south
Karnataka: I suggest you start protesting on the net, Ive realized its a potent
weapon.
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8/8/2019 Main Azaad Hun
4/5
J&K: We are doing that too sending protest letters to your Army, making people
aware of our pain, but where is the result? I am, trying to collect my peopleI am,
ohhh, why dont you just leave us?
Delhi: But we cant do that
J&K: Ohhfinally you are here! So what excuse will you make today?
Delhi: I dont have excuses, I just talk facts.
UP & Bihar: Chalo, you are here, we can talk of some financial issues too
Delhi: Well talk about that later (frowns), first I want to tell you all that the
reporting from J&K has been one sided. They talk of their people being killed,
brutalized; but what about those innocent civilians that were killed and are saved
only by our Army? What about those pundits who had to leave their homes What
about the massacred Sikhs, what about our killed Jawans?
J&K: And so this gives you a valid reason to kill our children? To force nails in their
eyes and ears, arent you ashamed of yourself?
(Rajasthan, Gujarat, Maharashtra gasp in horror)
Delhi: I understand your anger. I understand that there are issuesThe roads and
the rails are yet to reach you even after 60 years. You feel ashamed of being frisked
thrice every day. We can do away with some of this, and believe me, we are willing
to.
J&K: No, you do not understand yetwe dont want you, we want azadi.
Delhi: Do you? Lets seeare you united on this front? Do you all want azadi? Do
you all want to pelt stones at me?
Kashmir: Yes
Delhi: No ones paying you any money for stone pelting?
(Silence, all look at J&K)
Delhi: Jammu, Ladakhdo you want azad Kashmir or do you want to be a part of
the Union of India?
Jammu, Ladakh (look at each other, nod): We are with youIndia (collective sigh)
Kashmir: We want azadi
Delhi: Dont worry, itll come with timeits time now for development!
Kashmir: No
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8/8/2019 Main Azaad Hun
5/5
(The spectators fade away, gradually, silently, to their own worlds)
Epilogue
Sadly there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can bring Showkat back to her
(Showkats mother). Neither the superpower nation, nor azadi Jaibeer (from
Kashmir believes that current crisis has a solution and it is not azadi)
Aayaams Note
Ive tried very hard to step out of my shoes while writing this. Ive called people
names that I would never call them in my life and I apologize for choosing such
words, if it hurts anyone.
I was afraid of selecting wrong words for the feelings of Kashmirs ordinary men and
women, and so I have directly quoted some of their feelings of anguish and hatred. I
(we) understand your pain and it frustrates me to no end that theres nothing else
that I can do for it, for now
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