the descriptive essay writing is not like painting where you can add. it is not what you put on the...

The Descriptive EssayWriting is not like painting where you can add. It is not what you put on the canvas that the reader sees. Writing is more like a sculpture where you remove, you eliminate in order to make the work visible. Even those pages you remove somehow remain. – Elie Wiesel

On a piece of notebook paper list the ten BIG memories that you have – funny, sad, important, moving, ridiculous . . .

Whatever pops into your mind.

Those memories are our life lessons – they shape who we are, what we believe – they can make us laugh or cry. These are often life lessons we can share with others – often times there is a message in there, a little life lesson nugget!

Life lessons from a few famous folks . . .

Simon Cowell, Jay Z, and Lorne Michaels from Master Class.

In her first O, The Oprah Magazine column, Oprah wrote: "We are all the causes of our own effects…That's why I'll never stop asking the question, 'What do you know for sure?'"

Here, notable men and women share the truths that inspire them, guide them, and repeatedly set them free...

Okay, now, about our paper . . .

First, the due dates . . .Writing Time & TTAPP September 4th, 5th, and 6th

*Wed (MC), Thurs (MC), Fri (MC)

Prewriting Monday, September 9th

TTAPP End of the period, Thurs., Sept. 5th (initials)OR 11:59pm Thurs., Sept. 5th via email

Round 1 Rough Draft (1 copy)

Monday, September 9th, 2013Round 2 Rough Draft

(2 copies)Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Final Draft Friday, September 13th, 2013You will turn in:Approved TTAPP (my email reply with time and date or paper with my initials) Three edited rough drafts (self and two peer)Final Draft (hard copy)

Don’t your paper will also be due to turnitin.com on or before 11:59pm on September 13th!

Your Descriptive Writing Prompt

What do you know for sure? You will follow the format that we went over in class and create your own: What I Know

For Sure passage. You will be telling a story about yourself, and opening it up to a bigger life lesson. Be sure you choose an event in your life that has made some sort of impact on you – your purpose here is that you will strive to create intensely vivid images in your reader’s mind by

showing rather then telling.

Your Descriptive Writing Prompt

The pattern that you will use is:Intro – Start with an amazing attention getter! Be in the moment! Don’t be all “sing songy”! (Really look at the Oprah sample intros)Body Paragraph - Personal Story and What I know for sure (Your What I know for sure will be the last line of your body paragraph! You will also bold those words and the whole what I know for sure sentence!.)

Conclusion - Big Picture Overview – What do you want people to walk away knowing? What life lesson are you sharing?

Intro: 6-8 sentencesBody Paragraph: 10-12 sentencesConclusion: 6-8 sentences

Overview (specifically look at the first paragraphs of the Oprah pieces to help you with your intro/overview!)Personal Story with What I know for sure as the final sentence of the 1 body paragraph! (bold this whole sentence)Big Picture – What do you want people to walk away knowing?

The details – What do you have to include?

• 10 vocabulary words, underlined from lessons 1-8• 2 similes – highlight and label the color for me

somewhere• 2 metaphors – highlight and label the color for me

somewhere • No more than five copula! You will highlight your five

copula. Any additional copula will result in a point deduction! Think carefully as you craft your sentences!

• Bold your line: What I know for sure is . . . .

You will want to label everything: similes,

metaphors, vocabulary, copula and highlight your thesis.

Please do this for your rough draft as well as your final draft!

You will want to make a key to identify what each color is. You can also just

come in early and highlight your paper with the highlighter markers in class. Just be certain that

you have everything marked when the bell

rings for class to start. Plan ahead!

I was a stealthy ninja as I watched those fools – dancing like clowns in

a circus, but I had to calm my nerves so they were peaceful like a sun

rising over a lake in the crisp early morning.

Don’t do this:

Keep your figurative language smoothly woven into your writing. Also – don’t

throw out too many images – they will make your reader’s head spin!

How do I put in a header and

page number? (yes, I will know if it is not ½ an inch

down!)

Type in your last name and then hit the space bar!

Ta Da! All finished! Formatting is set and your header is ½ an inch down!

Formatting

You do NOT need a title page!

Ms. LaDuca

ENG 101 – XXXX

Don’t Abbreviate!

Your Name

How do I get my TTAPP approved?

•Get Approved in Classor•Email me:alexis.laduca@dvusd.org (be sure you save whatever method you used! You will turn it in later for

points!)

HINT: Try to email first – don’t wait till the last minute! Many times TTAPP is not approved the first time around!

Okay, how bout that TTAPP?

• Purpose: To describe…….• Audience:• Tone:• Point of View: (1) Someone who . . .• Thesis

Here’s an example….

•Purpose: To describe the time when I found a Starbucks in the middle of Berlin.

•Audience: People who have a great affinity for Starbucks.

Here’s an example….

•Tone: Humorous

Here’s an example….

• Point of View: 1st person, someone who has a difficult time living without having Starbucks on a daily basis.

Here’s an example….

• Thesis: Beneath the shadow of the infamous Brandenburg Gate, I found what would bring dreary Berlin truly alive for me.

Here’s an example….

Just a little

thesis info . . . .

Remember, there are two Parts to your thesis

1.Your limited subject

2.Your point of view (or attitude) about that subject

Example: Two young and inexperienced boys can get themselves into a heap of

trouble when they’re dealing with a car and trying to

impress a girl at the same time.

This isn’t perfect! I don’t want to give you a thesis that you may or may not try to copy! We will work on your thesis as

you get your TTAPP approved!

Example: Two young and inexperienced boys can get

themselves into a heap of trouble when they’re dealing with a car and trying to impress a girl at the same

time.

Hint: Don’t give away your entire story in the thesis – leave a pinch of mystery to

interest the reader, but be sure that your topic and comment is clear!

Turnitin.com

Look at your policy!

•Don’t wait till the last minute! Paper is due prior to midnight of the day the paper is due!

•Print out and save your receipt! Keep that in case there is a problem.

•Suggestion – Submit your paper before you even print out your final draft!

•If you have issues, see me before school!

•If you have a last minute problem – email me with your paper in the body of your email. CC the email to yourself so you have proof! Or you can always call my voice mail!

Rough Drafts!• If 2 copies are required, 1 copy is the same as 0• Needs all the minimum requirements• Label everything! Highlight, make a key, bold –

put in a different color . . . Whatever you want to do to set it apart.

• Do not ask in class to print it out, don’t ask to go to the library to make copies! Come prepared!

• Bring your best possible draft!

A Few More Hints:

Lay out a chain of events that can be easily followed. Imagine yourself as a camera. On what objects in a room does your lens focus? What is the rationale for it doing so?

Never resort to clichés. Always look for fresh forms of expression. Consult a thesaurus to this end. Rather than say, “he is the strong, silent type,” write, “He towered above me, the tops of his shoulders almost brushing against the door frame.”

A Few More Hints:

Use specific, concrete language. Avoid abstractions. Use more informal, conversational words than you would in an academic essay. Go, on occasion, for the bizarre and memorable.

Use specific and strong action verbs as much as possible. Don’t say, “She ran up the hill,” when you could say, “She scrambled drunkenly up the hill.” Instead of saying “he was experiencing great anxiety, say “his wife found him lying on the floor spending the entire afternoon breaking off the heels of literally hundreds of his wife’s shoes with a pair of pliers. He did so in a desperate attempt to keep her from leaving him.”

A Few More Hints:

Avoid overusing “to be” forms when you can. Don’t say, “He is an incessant talker,” when you could say, “He talks incessantly.” Avoid the copula: is, am, was, were, be being, been, have, has, had.

Remember: You only get 5 copula!

A Few More Hints:

Common Problems and things to ponder . . .

• Weak attention getter- draw your reader in, woo him or her and make him want to do nothing more than read on!

• Shady pronouns. • Write out numbers less than one

hundred.• Too many I statements.• Intro is too wishy washy.• Don’t put quotation marks

around words for emphasis!• Have an engaging title!• Think about how semicolons are

used! Don’t just throw them in there!

• Be sure your thesis statements and topic sentences can stand on their own!

• Watch agreement issues! Don’t say: Many people understand how to be afraid even if she doesn’t know it.

• Always show and don’t just tell!• Check your vocabulary words! Be

sure you are using them correctly! Don’t just throw them in there.

• Do not start sentences with: and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet.

• Keep your body paragraphs balanced!

• Always opt for stronger, more vibrant words! Use a thesaurus BUT avoid vocabulary vomit!

These are common issues I address in feedback! Avoid them! Make me work hard when I grade your paper!

Your prewriting – something to help you get started!

Once you have selected your topic complete your Going Beyond Prewriting document. You will turn this in on the assigned due date! On one side you will complete one of the seven types of prewriting (noting your time if required) and then on the other side . . . .

How will you be graded?

With the Rio Salado College Writing Rubric

The key to this essay:“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” –

Anton Chekhov

One more thing. . . .

In case you forget anything we just went over . . .

It is all on our web page!

questions?