the practice of healing circles...round, a learning round, and a close. you are welcome to adapt it...

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The Practice of Healing Circles

Module 1

How to hold a basic circle

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About this Guide ThisGuideisanintroductiontoHealingCirclesforthoseinterestedinhostingabasichealingcircle.Thisisthefirstinaseriesofguides,designedtoincreaseyourskillinbeingacirclehost/guardianortakeyoudeeperintothecircleexperience.

Who might benefit ThisGuidecanbeusedbyindividualsontheirownorcanbeusedinagroupsetting.Forgroups,theguideincludesarangeofactivities—reading,reflecting,sharing,discussing—forarangeofcirclesizes.

How long will it take? Ifyouarereadingthisonyourown,taketimetoreflectoneachquestionandreturnonceyou’vearrivedataninsight.Ifyouareworkingwithagroup,youarealwayswelcomedandencouragedtoadapttheseguidelinestomeetyourcircle’sneedsandavailabletime.

Table of Contents

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What are Healing Circles?

Preparing for Circle

Welcome

Heart-sharing

Harvesting Closing the Circle

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1 What are Healing Circles?

Circlestartedaroundthecook-firesofhumanity’sancestorsandhasaccompanieduseversince.Werememberthisspace.Whenwelisten,

wespeakmorethoughtfully.Weleanintosharedpurpose.Christina Baldwin, author, The Circle Way

What is a circle? • Thereisadifferencebetweenmeetinginacircleandinvokingorcallingacircle.• Thecircleisthemotherofmethodologies:theCampfirethatourancestorsgathered

aroundtobuildtribeandclan.• Acircleisalsoalivingentity,afull-bodiedpresencethatwearecreatingtogether.• Thecircleisaninvitationistodiscoveradeeperwayofbeingtogether,protectedby

agreementswhichwe’lldiscusslater.

“Ifittouchesyourheart&guidesyouonyourpath, it’saHealingCircle.”

Michael Lerner, president, Commonweal

What are the hallmarks of a Healing Circle? • HealingCircleshelpusstepoutofordinarytimeintoasafeandacceptingenvironmentin

whicheachofuscanexploreourownhealing.• Withopenhearts,weaccessourowninnerguidancetounderstandwherethegreatest

healing—inbody,emotions,mindandspirit—canoccur.• Withopenminds,weworktogethertodiscoverthebestwaystoremoveobstaclesto

healing,alleviatesuffering,anddeepenourcapacitytoheal.

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Individual Reflection followed by a Circle of Two: Have you personally felt the healing power of a circle? Reflect on what made it healing.

2 minutes individual reflection Yourexperience

How does a Healing Circle work? Circlepracticeshelpusbecomemoreawareofhowwecommunicatewithothers—whetherfamily,friends,partners,co-workers,orfellowcirclemembers.Thesepracticeshelpustobekinderandmorerespectfulofeachotherandourselves.Keytoamagicalcirclearetheagreements(seepage13).Circlescanhavemanydifferentformats.Thisguidedescribesasimple,sampleformatforahealingcirclethatincludesfoursections—aWelcome,aHeart-Sharinground,aLearninground,andaClose.Youarewelcometoadaptittoyourcircle’sneeds.HealingCirclesarefunctionalblendsofmechanicsandmagic.Themechanicsarenecessarytoestablishandmaintainasafe,conduciveenvironmentformagictoemerge.ThetrickinaHealingCircleistobevigilantofthebalancebetweenthetwo—toavoidover-emphasizingoneattheexpenseoftheother.

For more information

Books• ChristinaBaldwinandAnnLinnea,TheCircleWay• ParkerPalmer,AHiddenWholeness

Onlineresources• AboutHealingCircles:http://www.healingcircleslangley.org/circles/what-are-healing-circles/• AboutTheCircleWay:www.thecircleway.net• AbouttheCenterforCourageandRenewal:www.couragerenewal.org

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2 Preparing for Circle

“Theimpulsetosharethehealingexperience—tohelpothersfacewhatwehavefaced—isbuiltintothehumanpsyche.AsRachelNaomiRemenputsit,“wehealincommunity.”Formanypeople,akey

dimensionofhealingistoworkinacircleofcompanionswhoshareyourwoundandshareyourstrongintentiontofindhealing.

Healingisamovementtowardwholeness–physical,emotional,mentalandspiritual.Healingisdifferentfromcuring–whenanillness

disappears,nevertoreturn.Healingcantakeplacebothinamovementtowardrecoveryand,equally,whenlosinggroundphysically.Great

healingcanalsotakeplaceindying.Michael Lerner, president, Commonweal

IF YOU’RE STARTING A CIRCLE

Why are you calling a circle? TherearemanyreasonstocallacirclebutaHealingCircleistypicallybornoutofloveandadesireforservice.Discoveringyourownpurposeisavitalfirststepwhichyoucanreturntoasatouchstoneagainandagain.Individual Reflection: Why are you calling a circle? Where does hosting this circle fit in your life? How does it serve your soul/own wholeness?

5 minutes (or as long as it takes)

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Who will hold the circle? • HealingCirclesprovidethesafestexperienceforcirclememberswhenthereareatleast

twopeoplesupportingthecircle,HostandGuardian.(Foradescriptionoftheseroles,pleaseseepage14.)

• Havingateamofco-hostsisalsobestforsustainingthecircle:eithercanhostthecirclewhentheotherisunavailable.Atthosetimes,youcaninviteacirclemembertoactasGuardian.

• It’salsomorefunandmorefulfillingtoworkasateamofco-hosts.Theloadislighter,thelearningdeeper.

Individual Reflection: Who would you enjoy co-hosting the circle with?

1 minute

Circle of Two: Share your ideas for what makes an effective, working relationship between co-hosts? How can you support each other?

6 minutes

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What is the intention of the circle? Circle of Two: What is the intention of the circle?

1-5 minutes

Who will you invite and how will you reach them? Circle of Two: Who would you like to welcome into the circle and how will you invite them (if known)/reach them (If unknown)?

1-5 minutes

Where will you hold the circle? Circle of Two: Where will you hold the circle?

1-5 minutes

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FOR ALL CIRCLES: PREPARING THE SPACE CIRCLE OF 2: How would you like to prepare the physical space so people feel welcome and safe?

3 minutes

Tips for hosts and guardians

• Createabeautifulwelcomingspacethatisclean,well-lit,andhascomfortablechairs• CreateacenterfortheCircle–candle,flowers,orsymbol(s)ofyourworktogether.

Make a checklist to remind yourself before every circle

Choosefromanyoftheideasbeloworaddyourown:� Sendaremindertothecirclemembers� Welcomethemwithteaorbeverage� Preparethespacewithcomfortablechairsandacenterforyourcircle� Setanintentionforthecirclewithyourco-host(iftheintentionvaries)� Gatherwhateverpiecesyou’dliketoaddtothecircle:a

quote/poem/passage/meditation/music/art,etc.inthiscircle?

You’re ready! Take a big breath and prepare

to welcome people into your first circle.

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Welcome Beingwelcomedintocirclehasfourkeycomponents.

1 Welcoming,theinformalconnectionthatstartstobuildbetweenonehumanbeingandanotherfromthetimewecomeinthedooruntilwesitdownincircle.

2 EnteringtheCircle,thetransitionspacethatenablesustoleavebehindtheworldwe’vecomefromandenterthecirclewithfullattentionandpresence.

3 Introducing/Checkin—Ifthegroupisneworanewmemberhasjoined,maketimeforbriefintroductions.Returningcirclesoftenstartwithabriefcheck-in.

4 UnderstandingCircleAgreements&Practices,makingsureeverybodyinthecirclehasasharedunderstandingofhowthecircleworks.

1. Welcoming Group Discussion: What makes you feel welcome when you enter a new space? What is the value of social time in a Healing Circle?

5 minutes

Tips for Hosts

• TheWelcomebeginsatthedoorwithasmile,andforareturningmemberwhowouldlikeone,ahug

• Lightrefreshments,perhapsacupoftea• Acomfortablechairinaclean,well-litplace• Circlesetupwithacenter,eitheracandle,flowers,orotherobject

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2. Entering the Circle Circles often begin with a simple ritual. 1 Lightacandleinthecenter2 Ringabellsignifyingthebeginningofsilenceandringoneattheend3 Readaquoteorpoem(suchastheonebelow)

Truesolitudeisfoundinthewildplaces,whereoneiswithouthumanobligation.

One'sinnervoicesbecomeaudible.Onefeelstheattractionofone'smostintimatesources.

Inconsequence,onerespondsmoreclearlytootherlives.Themorecoherentonebecomeswithinoneselfasacreature,themorefullyone

entersintothecommunionofallcreatures.Wendell Berry, from his poem “Healing”

Individual reflection: What was your experience of this way of entering a circle?

2 minutes

Group discussion: What is the role of silence in entering a circle?

2 minutes

Tips for Hosts

• Silencehasmanyadvantages:o Createsasafecontainerorsacredspaceo Providesapause,aseparationbetweenwhatcamebeforeandwhatcomesaftero Connectsustoinnerguidance

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• SilentCounciliswhenweeachlookinsideandlistencarefullytowhatismostimportanttousrightnow.Wemightexperiencethisasawellingofintuition,agrace.Communicationsinasilentcouncilcanalsocometousintheformofimagery,sensations,voices,orothermeansofcommunicatingwithourbodies,minds,andspirit.

• Whenwe’reonourown,wecanalsoholdaCircleofOne,acirclefordifferentvoiceswithin.

o Thesemightbeconflictsthatarisebetweentherolesweplayinlife—forexample,beingaparentvs.workinglateattheoffice.

o Wemightbeexperiencingarangeofemotionsandhavedifficultynamingthemandworkingwiththeminturn.

o Aninnercouncilcanalsobeheldbypersonifyingdifferentorgansystemswithinthebody—forexample,istheliveratriskfromthetherapyforthelung?

Group discussion: What other ways of Entering the Circle might you and your group choose to use?

3 minutes

Tips for Hosts

Circlescanbeenrichedwithdifferentwaysofbeingandlearningtogetherifthegroupfeelscomfortablewiththem.Thesemightinclude:• Guidedmeditation—Ourpaincirclealwaysbeginswithguidedmeditation.Thecircleviews

thisasskill-building.• Guidedvisualization—Ourcancercirclehasrequestedavisualizationthattheycanuseon

theirown.• Reading—Inadditiontothehostandguardian,differentmembersofthecirclecanbringin

differentprosepassagesorpoemstoreadtothegroup.• Music—Circleswhosemembersenjoysingingcouldsingorthosewhoenjoylisteningcould

useapieceofmusicasanintroduction

3. Introducing/Intention/Check-in Whenevertherearenewpeopleinacircle,itishelpfultobeginwith

• Introductionstocirclemembers• Introductiontocircleagreementsandpractices• Introductiontothetiming/theme/agendaofthecircletoday

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Introductions for new circles or new members Group discussion: What is the purpose of introductions?

2 minutes

Group discussion: For ongoing circles, how can you vary introductions based on the purpose of your circle each time?

2 minutes

Tips for Hosts

• Thekeypurposeofintroductionstogeteveryone’svoiceintheroomasearlyaspossibleandascomfortablyaspossible.

• Introductionscanservemanypurposesandyoucantailorthemeachcircle.Herearesomesuggestions,butpleaseuseyourowncreativity.

IF YOUR INTENTION IS TO YOU MIGHT TRY THIS Make people comfortable What’s your name and what brings you to

this circle? Orient each other to a common condition [For a cancer circle] We’ll have the

opportunity to learn more of our stories in a minute but let’s begin by simply saying what type of cancer we have and when we were diagnosed.

Establish sacred space [Ask people to bring a sacred object with them to circle] How does your sacred object represent who you are in the context of this circle?

Create common bonds What brought you joy when you were young? Set intention What is your intention for this circle? Bring members into the present What’s a one-word weather report for how

you are feeling today?

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4. Understanding the Circle Agreements and Practices Why Agreements? Group discussion: Why do we have agreements?

3 minutes

Tips for Hosts

• Circleagreementsprotectthesafetyoftheindividualsandtheintegrityofthecircle.

What are the Healing Circle Agreements?

• Wetreateachotherwithkindnessandrespect.• Welistenwithcompassionandcuriosity.• Wehonoreachother’suniquewaystohealinganddon’tpresumetoadviseorfixortryto

saveeachother.• Weholdallstoriessharedinthecircleconfidential.• Wetrusteachofushasguidanceweneedwithinusandwerelyonthepowerofsilenceto

accessit. Group discussion: Do you have any questions about these agreements? Does your group want to modify or add to them?

As long as it takes

Tips for Hosts

• TheHealingCirclesagreementsusedatHealingCirclesLangleywerederivedfrommanysources.Yourgroupisfreetoadaptthemtomeetyourneeds.Seethesesourcesforotherideas:

o PeerSpirit,TheCircleWayo ParkerPalmer,CircleofTrustTouchstones

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What are the Circle Roles of Host/Guardian? • TheHostandGuardianperformservice,notleadership,rolesinthecircle.• Ifwecontinuedthecampfiremetaphor,theHostisresponsiblefortendingthefire

(protectingthecenter):startingthefireandkeepingthefiregoingwithoutthefiregettingoutofcontrol.TheHostopensandclosesthecircleandmightdirectthetransitionfromonesegmentsofacircletoanother.TheHostisusuallynottheretobeasubjectmatterexpert.

• Metaphorically,theGuardianisresponsibleforprotectingtherimofthecircle,makingsurenoonegetsburnedbybeingtooclosetothefire,andkeepinganeyeonthosewhofeeltheneedtobackawayfromtheheat.Practically,theGuardianwatchestheenergyofagroup,protectsthesafetyofthecirclebyensuringagreementsarekept,andringsthebellforsilence.AccordingtoTheCircleWay,creatorsoftheGuardianrole,“Theguardianusuallyemploysagentlenoise-maker,suchasachime,bell,orrattle,thatsignalstoeveryonetostopaction,takeabreath,andrestinaspaceofsilence.”TheHostandGuardiansitoppositeeachothertoensuresightlinetoeveryoneinthecircle.

• Circlemembersbothtendthefireandprotecttherim.Allparticipantsshareresponsibilityforholdingthecircleandfortheirownhealing.

• Anymembermaycallforthebelltoinitiateapause.

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Heart-sharing

“Thesoulspeaksitstruthonlyunderquiet,inviting,andtrustworthyconditions.”

― Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation

“Theworkofseeingisdone.Nowpracticeheart-work…”

Rainer Maria Rilke

ThecoreoftheHealingCircleistheHeart-sharinground(s)whereeachpersoninturnhastheopportunitytospeaktowhatismostontheirheartinthemoment.Atitsmostsacred,thisisamomentofauthenticity,vulnerability,andoftenself-discovery.

The Mechanics: Talking Piece Council AttheinvitationtoentertheHeart-sharinground,allmembersdirecttheirattentiontothecenterofthecircle,andthenlookwithin.Whensomeoneisreadytobegin,theypickupatalkingpiece—whichcanbearock,asymbol,oranythingthegroupprefers—andbegintotalk.Whenthey’refinished,theypassthetalkingpiecetotheirrightorleft.Thatpersonisfreetotakeamomenttoseeifthey’dliketosharerightnow,andifnot,theycanpassthepiecetothenextperson.

The Magic When we speak Wespeaktothecenterofthecircle,weputourmetaphoricallogonthefire.Weusethetimetocenteronourintentionforthistimeincircle,exploringwhatismostaliveinus.Thisiswherewemovetowardourownwholeness,ourownhealing.

“Themostbasicandpowerfulwaytoconnecttoanotherpersonistolisten.Justlisten.Perhapsthemostimportantthingweevergiveeach

otherisourattention.”Rachel Naomi Remen

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“Thebestwaytohelpothershealisnottotellthemwhattheyshoulddo.Rather,youstartwithgenerouslistening.AsParkerPalmer,the

greatQuakereducator,putsit:Donotadvisethem.Donottotrytofixthem.Donottotellthemwhattheyshoulddo.Donottrytobewiseorshowoffyourexpertiseinhealing.Simplybethereforthem,awitness

totheirexplorationoftheirownpath.” Michael Lerner,Intentional Healing

When we listen Therestofcirclelistenswithoutinterruptionorcomment.Webearwitnesstothejoys,thestruggles,hopesandfearsofanotherandsoseeourselves.Wedon’ttakeoneachother’spain.Again,usingthecampfiremetaphor,wecanpullclosetothefire,receivingtheheatweneed,orwecanbackawayfromthefireifweneedto. Question for Heart-sharing round: What is most on your heart today?

Each member of the circle shares and then passes the talking piece to the next person. That person is free to pass or share.

Group discussion: What are some of the challenges of Talking Piece Council and how would you work with them?

15 minutes

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Tips for Hosts

ThinkingthroughsomeideasforworkingwithcommonchallengesintheHeart-sharingroundcanincreaseyourconfidenceinbeingahost:

• Lackofself-regulationwhetherbecauseoflackofawareness,physicallimitations(suchasblindnessorhearingloss),medications(suchassteroids),oranotherreason

Whatideasdoyouhaveforhowtoworkwiththissituation?

• Notspeakingauthenticallywhetherbecauseoffear,adesiretoplease,alackofself-

knowledge,culturalnorms,gendernorms,oranotherreason

Whatideasdoyouhaveforhowtoworkwiththissituation?

• Notbeingkindorrespectfulforwhateverreason

Whatideasdoyouhaveforhowtoworkwiththissituation?

• Goingoffpoint—outsidetheintentionofcircle

Whatideasdoyouhaveforhowtoworkwiththissituation?

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Harvesting

“Weareexploringtogether.Wearecultivatingagardentogether,backstothesun.Thequestionisahoeinourhandsandwearediggingbeneaththehardandcrustysurfacetotherichhumusofourlives.”

―Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation

Researchersarestillstudyingwhatmakessocialsupportsuchacriticalandpowerfulelementofhealing.Onefocushasbeenonthepractical—someonetohelpgetyoutoadoctorandhelpwithphysicalneeds.AnotherfocushasbeenonthequalityoftheemotionalsupportthatwasjustevidentintheHeart-sharinground.Anotherfocusisonhowthesocialnetworkdeliversinformationneededforhealing.TheHarvestingroundisintendedtogivespaceforthislearningtotakeplace.Harvestingcanbedoneusingmanydifferentformatsandpractices.Yourgroupwillfinditswayifyougiveittime.

The Mechanics Formats and practices

• Personal—Wegoaroundthecircleagainusingthetalkingpiece,thistimeeachinturntakestheirowndiscoveryprocessdeeperbyspeakingtowhattheyhaveharvestedfromthepreviousround.

• Smallgroup—Thegroupcandivideintoareasofinterest—goodforalargecircle• Wholecircle—Thecircleexploresquestionsusingtwodifferentcirclepractices:

PopcornCouncilo Talking-piecevariationwherewedon’tgoaroundincirclebutratheranyonecan

sharetheirthoughts,withoutcross-talkorfollow-upquestions.o Usedtogetideasoutquickly,e.g.,brainstormingo Usedforharvestingexperienceinlargegroupswherenoteveryoneneedstoshareo UsedtoreportindividualreflectionwherenotallwillwanttoshareConversationCouncilo Similartonormalconversationwithoutpersuasionordisagreement

Ways of transitioning • Host,Guardian,orgroupdecidestocontinuewiththeirindividuallearningfromthe

previousroundandjustpassthetalkingpiecearoundagain• Groupproposesquestionsthey’dlikethegrouptoaddresstoday• HostsynthesizesHeart-sharingroundandoffersaquestion

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The Magic Themagiccomesfromthewhole-heartednessofthegroup.Thecirclemembersgenuinelywanttolearnandthecirclerespectsthateachpersonhastheirownareaofpressingconcern.We’vefoundthesepracticeskeeplearningcirclesmagical:

• Askingdeeplyrelevant,authenticquestionsthatmatterinourlivesnow• Answeringthequestionfromourownexperience• Reflectingclearlyifweneedfurtherclarificationtounderstandsomeoneelse• Askingopenandhonestquestionsofeachotherifapersonasksfordirecthelp

Typical Harvesting Round question: What do we want to learn from the wisdom in the group today?

2 minutes: Each member of the circle identifies a question

Tips for Hosts

• Honorthecollectionofinnerwisdombeforeprimingoccursinthegroupbyhavingamomentofsilenceortheopportunitytowriteaquestiondown.

• Harvestingtofinduniversalsorcollectivesmayormaynotultimatelybeofvaluetotheone.Bewareofgroupthink.

Group discussion: What are some of the challenges of Conversation Council and how would you handle them in circle?

15-30 minutes

Tips for Hosts

Becauseconversationishowwenormallyinteractwitheachother,wecaneasilyfallintohabits.Takesometimetothinkabouthowyouwouldaddressthesesituationsincircle:

• Tryingtofixorsave• Tryingtoimposeabeliefsystemonanother• Dominatingorinterruptingaconversation• Notgivingtimetothequietvoicesintheroom• Believingyouknowwhat’sbestforanother

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Closing the Circle

"Weclaspthehandsofthosewhogobeforeus,andthehandsofthosewhocomeafterus;weenterthelittlecircleofeachother'sarms,

andthelargercircleofloverswhosehandsarejoinedinadance,andthelargercircleofallcreatures,passinginandoutoflife,

whomovealsoinadance,toamusicsosubtleandvastthatnoonehearsitexceptinfragments."~ Wendell Berry, excerpt from his poem "Healing”

Leavingthecircleunwindshowweentered.Yourcircleisfreetocreateitsownritualsbuttheyusuallyincludethreeelements:acheck-out,silence,andtheblowingoutofthecandle.

Check out Typical check-out question: In one word or sentence, what are you leaving with from today’s circle? What is percolating inside that you’d like to continue to work on?

One minute each

Silence between bells • Maystartwithapoemorsongbeforeringingthebellforsilence

Candle out ThisguidehasbeenpreparedbyHealingCirclesLangleybasedonourcollectiveexperience.WearedeeplygratefultoChristinaBaldwinandAnnLinneaofPeerSpiritandtoMichaelLernerofCommonwealfordevelopingthefoundationofthiswork.OtherhealingcirclesarewelcometouseandadaptthisguideunderCreativeCommonsprinciples.Thisisdraft3.0—wewelcomeyourinputtomakeitbetter.Pleasesendsuggestionstodianalindsay@healingcircleslangley.org.