the squeaky clean legacy, chapter three

The Squeaky Clean Legacy By Professor Butters

Chapter Three—University Days

When  we  last  le+  our  Squeaky  Clean  legacy,  six  of  the  Goodytwoshoes  kids-­‐-­‐Mor>mer,  Abner,  Daisie  Mae,  Abijah,  Sam,  and  Hopeful,  had  been  sent  to  University,  leaving  the  seventh-­‐-­‐Hawkins-­‐-­‐at  home.  Let's  review  the  Squeaky  Clean  rules,  shall  we?  Only  girls  inherit.  There  is  only  marital  WooHoo,  and  only  Try  For  Baby.  Non-­‐heirs  don't  have  it  quite  so  tough,  but  they  cannot  fool  around  on  the  Legacy  lot  (or  we'd  have  no  pla>num  Romance  graves,  would  we?)  And  everything  has  to  be  cute.  Painfully  cute.  (Check  out  the  Legacy  lot,  which  looks  like  Pepto-­‐Bismol  got  spilled  somewhere.)  

Here's  Mor>mer  and  Abner,  the  oldest  two  Goodytwoshoes  kids,  working  out  in  the  gym  where  their  parents  met.  Mor>mer's  even  wearing  the  same  sweats  as  his  Dad.  Hey,  what's  good  enough  for  Mom  and  Dad  is  good  enough  for  them.  

Omigawwwd.  Poor  Sam.  You  grew  up  well,  but  into  hideous  clothes.  And  you're  the  one  with  nice  points,  too!  We've  got  to  get  you  some  more  decent  clothing.  

And  Abijah's  not  much  beWer.  We'll  definitely  have  to  do  something  about  that.  

Sam:  Thank  you.  

Me:  It's  nothing.  I  promised  your  Mom  that  we  would  get  you  married,  you  know.  

While  he  was  out,  Sam  bought  a  matching  ou[it  in  a  different  color  for  Abijah.  Hopefully  their  Doublemint  cuteness  will  bowl  over  the  chicks  on  campus,  cause  I  am  ge]ng  them  through  college,  marrying  them  off  to  sa>sfy  their  annoying  mom's  LTW,  and  then  never  playing  them  again.  Shane  just  wants  three  kids  to  graduate,  but  nooo,  Rosie  has  to  have  six  married  kids.  

Sam:  Yessir,  we're  as  cute  as  an  ice-­‐cream  sundae,  ladies.  Any  takers?  

Daisie  Mae:  And  everyone  in  my  family  gets  poWy-­‐trained!  

Oh,  uh,  wow.  Really?  

Here's  Hopeful.  

Hopeful:  I'm  a  Pleasure  Sim.  How  come  you  sent  me  to  college?  

Sim  Goddess:  Because  I  have  to  get  you  married.  And  besides,  what,  you  wanted  to  stay  home  and  be  cannon  fodder?  

Hopeful  spontaneously  gets  everyone  doing  the  Smustle  un>l  they  s>nk.  

Uh-­‐oh.  This  could  be  trouble.  Abner  and  his  brother  Mor>mer  both  think  the  same  girl  is  hot.  And  Abner's  trying  to  date  the  other  girl,  too!  

Vanessa  Pedersen  le+  her  first  date  with  Abner  claiming  that  he  failed  to  meet  her  needs.  But  I  don't  see  how  he  could  have  met  this  need.  There  are  some  things  that  you  have  to  do  alone.  

Mor>mer's  Mom  called  him  right  in  the  middle  of  his  first  date.  I  kid  you  not.  Hey,  Rosie,  I'm  trying  to  get  your  kid  married  off-­‐-­‐don't  be  so  overprotec>ve.  

There's  nothing  like  shared  disgust  to  bring  people  closer  together.  

Shane,  their  Dad,  keeps  showing  up  spontaneously.  Either  he  really  misses  them,  or  he's  making  a  break  from  the  house.  Not  surprising,  considering  that  he's  been  up  to  his  knees  in  diapers  and  po]es  and  liWerboxes  for  years,  poor  man.  I  was  afraid  when  Rosie  began  da>ng  him  that  he  might  be  a  problem,  but  he's  been  extra-­‐nice  and  helpful  all  these  years.  I  really  regret  that  he's  eventually  going  to  have  to  die.    

There  he  is,  checking  up  on  Mor>mer's  new  girlfriend.  Is  doing  a  good  school  cheer  a  marital  qualifica>on?  

Awww!  Blue  rings!  They're  both  happy!  And  Mort  didn't  even  have  to  leave  the  dorm  to  find  his  future  wife,  Edith  Gast.  (He's  quite  shy.)  They're  both  knowledge  sims,  so  they  ought  to  get  along  well,  even  when  Mor>mer.  .  .  but  excuse  me,  I'm  ge]ng  ahead  of  myself.  

I  think  the  parental  supervision  here  verges  on  the  creepy.  If  it  isn't  Rosie  calling  during  Mor>mer's  first  date,  it's  Shane  showing  up  and  checking  out  Mort's  young  lady  at  the  dorm,  or  "just  happening"  to  be  in  the  nightclub  the  evening  Abner  gets  serious.  You'll  no>ce  that  Abner  was  not  fooling  around.  Those  liWle  sparkly  flowers  are  love  po>on.  

And  the  matchmaker  sells  the  real  deal-­‐-­‐she  falls  in  love!  Actually,  love  po>on  doesn't  work  very  well  if  the  couple  don't  already  know  each  other  and  aren't  already  aWracted.  I've  had  Sims  swig  it  like  milk  to  no  avail.  

Even  as  he  falls  in  love,  Abner  pauses  to  make  fun  of  Mr.  Big.  What  a  mean  guy!  One  nice  point!  

But  he  was  falling  in  love.  He  and  Vanessa  are  both  Fortune  Sims,  so  they  will  get  along  preWy  well,  too.  His  LTW  is  to  have  six  pets  reach  the  top  of  their  careers-­‐-­‐-­‐don't  know  if  his  parents'  cats  count.  

Remington  Harris  falls  for  our  heiress  like  a  ton  of  bricks.  .  .  

.  .  .  but  tries  to  play  it  cool.  Let's  face  it,  he  was  an  easy  target-­‐-­‐he's  her  best  friend  and  he's  known  her  since  she  was  in  diapers.  

And  they  sing  karaoke.  

Now  this  is  creepy.  Now  I  know  Shane  is  stalking  his  kids.  Can  you  make  him  out,  hiding  behind  the  maitre  d'?  Shane  and  Rosie  are  the  most  overprotec>ve  parents  I've  ever  seen.  Remington  has  the  sense  to  keep  his  smooch  thoughts  to  himself  while  Daisie  Mae  sneaks  out,  unno>ced.  

Hopeful  works  on  her  charisma.  .  .very  much  needed  if  she's  going  to  go  on  fi+y  first  dates,  because  she's  a  mean  liWle  cuss.  

Hopeful  hits  the  nightlife  for  the  first  >me  at  the  Crypt  O'Night  Club.  .  .  

.  .  .  and  who's  there  having  cocktails?  Right.  It's  Mom.  Rosie,  who  hasn't  le+  the  house  in  the  Sim  equivalent  of  about  twenty  years  and  who's  only  been  Downtown  three  >mes.  This  is  not  fooling  anyone,  guys.  

Mor>mer:  You  do  realize,  of  course,  that  Edith  here  is  engaged  to  me?  

For  some  reason,  at  least  three  of  the  Goodytwoshoes  boys  think  Edith  is  really  hot.  In  the  case  of  Abijah,  it  seems  to  be  mutual.  I've  actually  changed  his  turn  offs  to  include  blonde  hair,  but  it's  not  much  use.  .  .  I  suspect  they  are  aWracted  to  girls  like-­‐-­‐shudder-­‐-­‐Mom.  Ik.  

It's  a  recurring  theme,  isn't  it?  Hey,  Dad,  I  just  got  here!  Go  home!  

Maybe  Hopeful  does  need  a  liWle  supervision.  Didn't  anybody  tell  her  it's  dangerous  to  make  friends  with  vampires?  

Hey,  what's  this  guy  doing  in  the  girl's  shower!  Get  out  of  there!  

Oh.  You  just  joined  the  secret  society,  Daisie  Mae.  

Daisie  Mae:  Can  I  finish  my  shower  now?  

Oh  my  goodness,  Hopeful!  Your  mother  would  kill  you  if  she  saw  your  new  clothes!  

Hopeful:  Hey,  thanks!  

It  wasn't  a  compliment!  

Hopeful  celebrated  finishing  sophomore  year  by  going  on  her  first  date.  She  was  fixed  up  with  Mr.  Big,  whom  she  can't  marry  if  I  plan  to  move  her  back  home.  But  she  doesn't  care,  since  all  she  wants  is  fi+y  first  dates.  Next!  

Hopeful  really  gets  life  started  as  a  Pleasure  Sim.  Two  first  dates  down;  only  forty-­‐eight  more  to  go.  

Mor>mer  maxes  out  his  logic  points.  Geekdom  on  parade.  

Sam  gets  engaged  to,  um,  I  forget  her  name.  Julie,  that's  right.  A  family  sim,  so  she's  not  likely  to  bail  at  the  last  minute.  

Abijah:  Soooo,  Karen,  how'd  you  like  to  live  life  in  the  Sim  Bin?  

Abijah:  Yeah!  It  was  a  surprise  engagement  to  me,  too!  

I'm  sorry  to  say  that  she  said  no,  however,  and  Sam  collapsed  bleeding  into  his  chili  con  carne.  

Well,  not  exactly,  but  he  was  disappointed.  .  .  and  all  out  of  love  po>on.  

And  perhaps  this  is  why.  .  .  yet  another  Townie  with  a  weird  crush  on  the  elderly  cafeteria  worker.  

She  changed  her  mind  and  went  happily  off  sprou>ng  blue  rings  while  Abijah  simultaneously  fell  in  love  and  went  off  to  bus  tables.  He's  one  of  the  hyper-­‐>dy  ones  in  the  family-­‐-­‐ten  neat  points.  

Meanwhile,  Hopeful  and  Daisie  Mae  each  moved  out.  Hopeful  moved  into  a  dorm  next  to  Tri-­‐Var,  got  a  salon  chair,  and  began  giving  free  makeovers.  

Hopeful:  Aw,  c'mon,  Robin,  what  can  it  hurt?  I  can't  make  you  look  any  worse!  

Powder  puff  aWack!  

Uh.  .  .  it's.  .  .  cheerful,  don't  you  think?  

Luckily  we  have  a  special  free  rate  for  free  makeovers  gone  disastrously  wrong.  

It's  all  about  product.  Lots  and  lots  of  product!  

See?  I  made  you  look  like  my  mom!  Doesn't  everybody  want  to  look  like  my  mom?  

I'm  already  bored  with  the  first  makeover  I  gave  you,  Amar.  Let  me  make  you  over  again.  

Well,  of  course  I'm  interested  in  fashion!  Duh!  

Daisie  Mae  moved  into  her  mom's  old  dorm,  and  Rosie's  pal  Dominic  the  Llama  Guy  danced  on  air  with  sheer  delight.  Why  wouldn't  he  be  delighted?  He  can't  move  in  with  one  of  my  heiresses,  but  like  Peter  Pan,  he'll  never  grow  old.  Meanwhile,  Daisie  Mae  found  1)  a  fruit  punch  keg  2)  an  energizer  with  one  bulb  le+  3)  several  disgus>ng  dirty  dishes,  le+  over  from  when  Mom  lived  there.  

Uh,  Daisie  Mae?  Not  only  does  your  own  fiance  have  to  work  as  your  maid,  you  also  have  to  make  him  clean  up  from  your  mom's  gradua>on  party?  

"What?  I  pay  him!"  

Yes,  but  you  don't  >p  him.  

Hi,  there,  Mor>mer!  Tell  your  sister  I'm  going  to  kill  her  for  what  she  did  to  me,  OK?  

Wow!  Are  you  the  girl  giving  all  those  free  makeovers?  Can  I  have  like,  you  know,  a  hat?  

Hopeful:  You  sure  came  to  the  right  place!  Although  I'm  not  sure  what  we're  going  to  do  about  that  nose  .  .  .  

I  think  this  should  draw  aWen>on  away  from  it  nicely.  

Mor>mer:  No,  lady,  I  just  want  to  write  my  term  paper.  I  don't  want  to  do  the  chicken  dance.  .  .  

.  .  .and  I  certainly  don't  want  to  do  anything  involving  handcuffs.  

"Edith?  Edith's  a  member  of  some  Society  with  that  thing  in  back  of  me?  And  we've  been  engaged  for  two  years  and  I  didn't  know?"  

Actually,  Mor>mer  got  quietly  into  his  blazer  and  went  over  to  kiss  Edith.  No  ques>ons  asked.  He's  so  sweet.  

This  guy  in  the  mohawk  Hopeful  is  with  looks  iden>cal  to,  but  isn't  the  same  guy  as  the  other  guy  in  the  mohawk.  Three  dates  down,  forty-­‐seven  to  go.  

OK,  Daisie  Mae,  it's  >me  you  started  dressing  like  the  Goodytwoshoes  heiress.  And  you  know  what  that  means.  .  .  

"No!  Not  the  crinoline  skirt!"  

Yes.  Your  mom  had  to  wear  the  black  and  white  one  and  cat's  eye  glasses:  count  your  blessings.  

(You  can  find  it,  along  with  a  lot  of  other  nice  retro  clothes,  on  allaboutstyle.com.  The  black  and  whites  are  on  modthesims  under  Retroville.)  

The  life  of  an  heiress.  It's  all  about  skilling.  

And  maxing  your  skills,  in  this  case  your  logic  skill.  If  you  don't  become  a  Mad  Scien>st  fast,  it  won't  be  my  fault.  

Poor  Remington.  Not  only  do  you  work  as  your  fiance's  maid,  not  only  doesn't  she  >p  you,  plus  which  there  is  no  WooHoo  because  she's  the  Squeaky  Clean  heiress;  you  get  trapped  in  the  girl's  bathroom,  have  to  be  pulled  out,  and  then  walk  through  a  plate-­‐glass  window.  I  do  hope  you're  not  ge]ng  glitched.  

With  the  ample  funds  from  almost  three  years  of  4.0s,  Daisie  Mae  acquires  a  floral  sta>on.  

"You've  been  reading  up  about  snapdragons,  haven't  you?"  

"Start  working."  

And  Daisie  Mae  gets  her  bronze  talent  badge  in  prac>cally  no  >me.  

"These  heels  are  killing  me."  

Keep  working.  

Abner  went  to  the  pet  park  in  the  middle  of  the  night,  in  hopes  of  mee>ng  a  nice,  cuddly  wolf.  Instead.  .  .there's  Mom  hanging  around  the  restrooms  at  4  am  and  thinking  improper  thoughts  about  Stephen  Stotch-­‐-­‐  

Who  meanwhile  decided  to  "admire"  Abner.  

"No  way,  buddy.  No  way,  no  how."  

You  could  have  been  politer  about  it.  

Being  a  member  of  the  Landgrabb  Society  isn't  all  that  great.  They  don't  clean  up  a+er  themselves  and  plug  up  the  toilet.  Mor>mer  fixed  it  in  no  >me,  but  I  think  he  was  annoyed.  

Abijah  killing  >me  before  an  exam.  He's  got  nothing  to  worry  about-­‐-­‐and  in  fact,  he  pulled  another  A+.  Abijah  changed  aspira>on  a+er  sophomore  year  and  came  out  as  a  Fortune  Sim  like  Abner.  It  suits  him,  actually.  Mean  liWle  cuss.  Most  of  my  "nice"  Goodytwoshoes  are  Cancers  and  most  of  my  "nasty"  ones  are  Scorpios,  but  at  least  the  Scorpios  are  hard  working,  >dy,  and  they  juggle.  

Here's  a  biWer  pill:  on  a  date  with  Edith,  Mor>mer  kept  rolling  the  want  to  WooHoo  with  Edith,  first  WooHoo  with  Edith.  .  .he  must  have  read  the  fine  print  of  my  Squeaky  Clean  Legacy  and  discovered  that  non-­‐heirs  are  ok  to  do  WooHoo  on  community  lots  or  on  lots  belonging  to  other  Sims,  because  one  of  his  fears  was  that  Edith  wouldn't  agree  to  WooHoo  in  the  photo  booth.  Then  he  asked  her  what  she  wanted  and  she  said  "WooHoo  with  Mor>mer."  

I  decided  to  let  him  wait  >ll  he  was  married  and  he's  very  cross  now.  And  it  didn't  come  out  as  a  dream  date  either,  poor  thing.  

There's  nothing  unusual  in  a  cow  mascot  shocking  an  elderly  caferia  worker.  The  real  shock  is  that  it  took  him  almost  three  years  to  get  here  and  start  causing  trouble.  

Hopeful  says  the  whole  point  of  being  a  sorority  member  is  so  you  can  invite  them  over  and  do  makeovers.  

BriWany  Upsnot  looks  a  liWle  less  snoWy.  

Tiffany  Sampson  gets  glamorized.  

Here's  Hopeful  off  for  another  ou>ng  with  Mr.  Big.  I  don't  know  if  the  expression  on  her  face  is  because  she  knows  it  will  be  a  dull  event  with  the  usual  suspects,  or  because  she  hates  the  new  retro  top  I  made  her  buy.  

Oh,  dear.  Hopeful  really  doesn't  know  it's  dangerous  to  get  friendly  with  vampires.  

I  know  this  looks  as  though  Count  Jihoon  is  carrying  her  off,  but  it's  really  all  Hopeful's  idea.  

Bad,  bad  Hopeful.  

Count  Jihoon's  a  bit  of  an  innocent,  really.  Here  Hopeful  dosed  herself  up  with  love  po>on  before  proposing,  and  she's  just  asked  what  he  wants.  And  what  he  wants  is  to  have  a  party,  although  he's  clearly  thinking  about  kissing  her-­‐-­‐or  something.  

Bingo!  Engaged!  And  Hopeful  immediately  calls  the  taxi,  driving  away  seconds  before  Count  Jihoon  remembers  to  try  to  bite  her.  

I'm  sure  Rosie,  Hopeful's  mother,  would  think  of  bi>ng  as  something  you  wait  for  un>l  you're  married.  And  it's  tricky  to  get  through  University  as  a  vampire.  So  she'll  be  doing  her  partying  during  the  day>me  and  calling  Count  Jihoon  at  night  to  chat-­‐-­‐and  keeping  her  door  locked.  

Mor>mer  gets  a  bronze  talent  badge.  He  and  Sam  are  total  math  and  science  nerds,  so  this  made  him  very  happy.  

Geeky  Knowledge  Sims  skilling  like  mad:  Mor>mer  making  robots,  Sam  behind  him  fooling  around  with  the  telescope,  and  Edith  playing  with  the  toy  robot  Mor>mer  made  and  Sam  repaired.  

Mor>mer  follows  family  tradi>on  and  his  own  habit  of  growing  up  when  freshly  off  the  toilet.  

Mor>mer,  the  eldest  born  and  first  to  graduate,  kisses  his  mom.  

Hawkins,  the  youngest  brother,  arrives  and  takes  up  his  posi>on  as  placeholder  in.  .  .  riding  boots  and  breeches?  What  on  earth  has  he  got  in  mind?  

Evidently,  he  thinks  he's  something  else-­‐-­‐and  he  seems  to  be  another  one  of  the  family's  spontaneous  jugglers.  This  usually  goes  along  with  meanness  and  Hawkins  is  no  excep>on.  

Daisie  Mae  dreams  of  the  Energizer,  o+en  with  a  red  X  through  it.  I'm  sure  she's  >red  of  skilling  and  energizing,  skilling  and  energizing,  but  hopefully  it  will  pay  off.  

And  she  earns  a  >dy  sum  with  her  floral  cra+ing  sta>on,  though  the  backwards  simolean  glyph  looks  ominous-­‐-­‐like  nega>ve  money.  

Hopeful's  working  hard  with  her  talent,  too.  

"Hey,  I  look  like  the  Fonz!"  

At  last.  Daisie  Mae  graduates  wih  honors  and  as  a  Knowledge  Sim,  gets  a  whopping  aspira>on  boost.  

I  just  graduated  summa  cum  laude  in  biology,  Remington.  I  know  what  I'm  doing.  

Ah,  parents.  What  they  don't  see.  .  .  

.  .  .won't  hurt  them,  right?  

Daisie  Mae  has  a  nice  pillow  fight  with  her  father.  You  can  see  the  happy  expression,  especially  in  her  eyes.  Hope  she  enjoys  it,  because  once  she's  back  in  the  Legacy  House,  it's  more  working  and  skilling,  all  the  >me.  

This  pose  looks  a  lot  cleaner-­‐-­‐or  Squeaky  Cleaner-­‐-­‐when  Daisie  Mae  does  it,but  it's  s>ll  the  kind  of  thing  that  aWracts  stares.  

Hopeful  con>nues  to  work  on  her  silver  hairdressing  badge,  this  >me  on  Castor  Nova-­‐-­‐  

And  things  don't  go  too  well.  

"You  beWer  fix  this!"  

Not  an  improvement,  in  my  opinion.  

Hopeful  did  a  much  nicer  job  on  Daisie  Mae.  Daisie  Mae  won't  wear  makeup,  but  a  new,  so+er  haircut  seemed  to  go  with  her  new  clothing.  Hopeful  will  be  taking  the  salon  chair  back  with  her.  

And  Hopeful  couldn't  be  bothered  to  have  a  gradua>on  party-­‐-­‐she's  exploding  the  dust  off  her  feet  and  ge]n'  outa  there.  That  pink  gooey  liWle  house  back  in  Pleasantview  won't  know  what  hit  it!  

Stay  tuned  as  the  Squeaky  Clean  Legacy  takes  a  drama>c  turn!  

Frighteningly  adorable  cat  on  the  cover  by  Pusheen.