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Write Less,Say More

Technical Writing Skills for Clerks

2016 Clerks Certificaiton InstituteOctober 27, 2016

Chris RobinsonVice President, Wilkes Community College

“Thedifferencebetweenthealmostrightwordandtherightwordis…thedifferencebetweenthelightningbugandthelightning.”

—MarkTwain

“There’snotmuchtobesaidabouttheperiodexceptthatmostwritersdon’treachitsoonenough.”

―William Zinsser,OnWritingWell:TheClassic GuidetoWritingNonfiction

“Notthatthestoryneedbelong,butitwill takealongwhiletomakeitshort.”

– HenryDavidThoreau

Agendaa) Overviewb) PlainLanguage/Writing—What isit?c) EssentialsofTechnicalWriting

a) Processb) Understandingyouraudiencec) GrammarandSpellingd) Applyingittoyourwork

d) WritingfortheDigitalAgee) Wrapupandquestions

How does this affect my job?

“Oneoftheclerk’smostimportant statutory dutiesistopreparetheminutesofgoverningboardmeetingsandmaintain theminasetofminutebooks.Thepowersofacityoracountyareexercisedbythecitycouncil ortheboardofcountycommissioners, andtheminutesofthegoverningboard’smeetingsaretheofficialrecordofwhat itdoes.”

A.Fleming Bell,Popular Government,Vol. 61,No.4,p.22,Summer 1996

What is plain language?

"Acommunicationisinplainlanguageifitswording,structure,anddesignaresoclearthattheintendedreaderscanreadilyfindwhattheyneed,understandit,anduseit.”

--CenterforPlain Language

What is plain writing?

Communicaiton thatreaderscanunderstandthefirsttime theyreadit!

What plain language is NOT

PlainLanguageisNOT:

• Uneducated, folksyorwhimsicalwriting• Strippeddownlanguage• Imprecise• Something that lawyerswon’tgofor• EASY

Why use plain language?

Why we write…

1. Toconveyideasandthoughts toouraudience2. Todocument actions3. Toanswerquestions orconcerns4. Tocalltoaction like-minded people5. Toexplain operations, decisionsandotherdetails.

Why we write…

1. Toconveyideasandthoughts toouraudience2. Todocument actions3. Toanswerquestions orconcerns4. Tocalltoaction like-minded people5. Toexplain operations, decisionsandotherdetails.

The Communication Process

Planning

Writing

Revising

• Audience• Style• Informationgathering• Organization/Format

• RoughDraft• Clarity/Brevity• Grammar• WordChoice

• FirstDraft • Editing• Proofreading• Revising• FinalDraft

The writing process

The elements of planning

Whoisyouraudience?What information isneeded?Where areyoumostcomfortablewriting?Whenisyourcompletion deadline?Why areyouwriting?Yourpurpose?Howdoyoupresentinthebestformatfortheaudience?

Understanding your audience

The 3 Audiences of Business Writing

• Internal—Collegial style,personalbutprofessional• External (specificaudience)—Formal, withspecific

vocabulary and industry-related jargon thatwillbeunderstood.

• Public—Formal, withvocabulary atanappropriate readingleveland jargonfree.

POP Quiz

Listthreegroup thatyoucommonly writetoorfor.Whatdotheyhaveincommon?Whataretheirdifferences?

Identify your audience

• Who ismyaudience—internal, external,public?• What doesmyaudience alreadyknowabout thesubject?• What doesmyaudience needtoknow?• What questionswillmyaudience have?• What’sthebestoutcome formyagency?Whatdo Ineed

tosaytogetthisoutcome?• What’sthebestoutcome forouraudience?WhatdoI

needtosaytogetthisoutcome?

POP Quiz

Takeoneofthethreeaudiencesyou identifiedpreviouslyandanswertheaudiencequestions.Howwillthat impact yourwritingforthataudience?

The public reading level

• Theaverage adultreadsatthe9th gradereading level• Theaveragenewspaperiswrittenatthe11th gradereadinglevel

• Morethan20% ofthepublicreadatorbelowthe5th gradereading levelMinutesandgeneraldocumentswrittenforthepublicshould

beatthe10th gradelevelorbelow.

The Dreaded “Bureaucratese”

Bureaucratese isalanguage unto itself,notedforthreedistinct characteristics:• toobfuscateperfectlynormal actionsordirectionstothe

detrimentofpublicservice;• toprovethe“intelligence” ofthewriterwithout regardto

thereader;• torenderwrittencommunication into lengthysentences,

therebysupporting thepaperandtimber industries

Focus your attention outward on the audience

L NOT J BUT…

WhatdoI wanttosay? Whatdoestheaudienceneedtoknow?

HowcanI protectmy HowcanIservetheinterests? audience’s interests?

WhatcanIdotoimpress you? WhatcanIclearlyexpresstotheaudience?

The elements of planning

Whoisyouraudience?What information isneeded?Where areyoumostcomfortablewriting?Whenisyourcompletion deadline?Why areyouwriting?Yourpurpose?Howdoyoupresentinthebestformatfortheaudience?

Why are you writing?

• Todocument—meeting minutes, reports• Toinform—memos, letters,pressreleases,emails,website

information, reports,proposals• Torespond—letters,emails

Yourpurposedeterminesthemodality, thetone,andthestyleofyourproject.

The elements of planning

Whoisyouraudience?What information isneeded?Where areyoumostcomfortablewriting?Whenisyourcompletion deadline?Why areyouwriting?Yourpurpose?Howdoyoupresenttheinformation fortheaudience?

Writing with styleAstylesheetcanbeuseful for

• Routinedocumentsandcorrespondence• Officialdocuments,e.g.,policiesorresolutions• Meetingminutes• Website information

Astylesheet includes• Formattingguidelines• Commontermsofaddress• Grammarrulesthatareambiguous

Astyleguideshouldbeapprovedby• The“authors”—whoisresponsible forcompiling the information• Thesupervisor—manager, boss,orwhomever• Theelected bodyifforofficialcommunication

Item Style OtherIssuesFormattingMinutes 12pt.Times NewRoman, 1.5

spaces, header includes dateofmeeting and type(regular,special, etc.).

Attendees areincluded belowheader and include boardmembers and staff.Use fullnames in header

Termsofaddress--Chairman Chairman used asformal term,e.g.,Chairman JaneJones.

Chairman Jones is used insubsequent usage insamedocument

Termsofaddress—Members Commissioner used asformalterm, e.g.,Commissioner JohnDoe

Commissioner Doe isused insubsequent usage insamedocument.

A sample style sheet

Item Style OtherIssuesTermsofaddress—Staff Official titlesareused for

department leadership, e.g.,County Manager John Smith orDSSDirectorDonnaGains

Common salutations used insubsequent usage, e.g.,Mr.SmithorMs.Gains.When confusionmayoccur, use thetitleafterthesalutation, e.g.,Mr.Smith, countymanager, ...

Termsofaddress—Public Full nameused firsttime,followed bytitle, e.g.,SamJohnson, president oftheSmalltown RotaryClub, …

Common salutations used insubsequent usage, e.g.,Mr.Johnson.

Grammatical—Serial Comma Noserial comma is usedbeforetheword “and”,e.g.,item1,item2,item3and item4.

Exceptions maybemade forclarity.

Document formatting

Meetingminutes—Predetermined format.Developastylesheet.Letters,correspondence andinterofficememos—Most officesuseacommon template. Ifnot, beatrendsetter--startone!Reports,presentations, andotherexternaldocuments—Useeffectivetechniques thathighlight what ismostimportant.Leavesufficientwhitespaceinmargins, etc.Emailandwebsitedate—Discussion tocome!

Getting started

Writer’sblock isreal!Some ideastogetyoustarted• Outline theprocess• Freewriting• Clustering

As much as one-third of your times is spent in

planning your work. The payoff is in saved time

during editing and proofing, making the process

smoother and more rewarding.

The elements of writing

• Clear• Concise• Concrete• Correct• Coherent• Complete• Courteous

Using the 7Cs

MinimizethenumberofideasineachsentenceOneidea perparagraphUsetheactivevoicewheneverpossibleUsepronouns properlyAvoidghostverbsAvoidredundanciesNeveruse“bureaucratize” andavoid jargonVaryyoursentencelength and structure

Using the 7Cs

Laser-likefocus onthefactsanddetails.Error-free communication thatfitsyouraudienceLogical arrangement, withallpointsconnected andrelevantTheflowandtoneofyourdocument isconsistentYouraudience haseverything neededtobeinformedandtakeaction.Yourcommunication istransparent andthetoneisopenandprofessional

What happens when things are unclear?

• IraqiHeadSeeksArms• ColdWaveLinkedtoTemperature• PoliceBeginCampaign toRunDownJaywalkers• EnragedCowInjuresFarmerwithAx• FarmerBillDiesinHouse• QueenMaryHavingBottom Scraped• TwoSistersReuniteAfter18YearsatCheckout Counter

A simple rule for writing…

The active voice

Usingactivevoiceforthemajority ofyoursentencesmakesyourmeaning clearforreaders,andkeepsthesentencesfrombecoming toocomplicated orwordy.

PassiveThedogwas

bittenbytheboy

ActiveTheboybitthe

dog.

Finding your active voice

Activevoice—Thesubjectofthesentenceperformstheaction.

Passivevoice—Theverb isfirstandhastwoparts—”to be”andpastparticiple oftheverb.

The commissioners approved the ordinance.

The ordinance was approved by the commissioners.

Why avoid passive voice

Passive VoiceTheapplication mustbe

completed bytheapplicantandreceivedbythefinancial officeatthetimedesignated bythatoffice.

Active VoiceThefinancial aidoffice

mustreceivethecompletedapplication bythedeadline.

Active voice is clear and concise !

POP Quiz

Excessand/orunauthorized expenses,delays,orluxuryaccommodations andserviceswillnotbereimbursedbythecompany, butwillbebornebytheemployee.

Yourapplication hasbeendeniedbytheDepartment ofState.

Thesubmission youfiledwillbereviewedbythejudges.

Pronouns are our friends!

Whatdopronouns do?

ü Speakdirectlytoreadersü Makeyourwritingrelevanttoreadersü Requirelesstranslation fromyourreadersü Eliminatewords

Use “we” to refer to your agency.Use “you” to refer to your reader.

Make your pronouns agree

• Pronouns arewordsthattaketheplaceofnouns.• Antecedentsarethewordsthatthepronouns referto.• Pronounsmustagreewiththeirantecedents innumber,gender,andperson.

Everyone should make their own decisions.

Each speaker maintained their poise.

Avoiding ghost verbs

Beware!Ghostverbsarehidden asnounsandwillmakeyourwritingpassiveandsometimesconfusing.Avoidthem!

Conduct ananalysisPresentareportDoanassessmentProvideassistanceCametotheconclusion of

AnalyzeReportAssessHelpConcluded

Avoiding redundancies

Redundancies arewordsorphrasesthatyoudonotneed,generallybecauseyouhavealreadysaidthesamething.

ExamplesAtalatertime LaterDuringthattimeperiod DuringthattimeorthenLevelofcoverage CoverageWorkedjointly together WorkedtogetherWillplan inthefuture Willplan

POP Quiz

TheBrownCounty Building Inspectorhasconducted anextensiveinvestigation ofthecodeviolations notedduring thegeneralpurpose(GP)inspection datedMay22,1998.TheInspectordetermined thatthevariousviolations hadbeencorrectedtothesatisfaction oflocalcode11.8.8andhasdeterminedthat theprojectcannowcontinue.TheInspectorhasprovidedapproval tothegeneralcontractor forresumption oftheproject. (65words)

POP Quiz

TheBrownCounty Building Inspector investigatedthecodeviolations notedduring theMay22,1998, generalpurposeinspection andhasdetermined that thevariousviolationshavebeencorrectedtothestandards oflocalcode11.8.8.Hehasapproved resumption oftheproject. (42words)

Avoiding complexity

Chooseyourwordscarefully• Avoid jargon• Usetherightwordsthatbestdescribetheaction

EnsureonlyonesubjectperparagraphGenerally,youshouldhave15wordsorlesspersentenceUseconjunctions (and, but)sparingly

A few words about word choiceUtilizeUsetheleastcomplexwordpossible.

Avoidcompletelyunnecessarywords.

Watchthesuperfluousadjectives andadverbs.

InsureEnsureyouusetheproperword.

• Bothabbreviations andacronyms lackclarity inmostusesandshouldbeusedsparingly.

• Abbreviations should beexplainedwhenused—CommunityDevelopmentAgency(CDA)

• Acronymsmaystandalone—AWOL, ASAP,SNAFU• Again, bothshould beavoided whenpossible.

A word on abbreviations & acronyms

POP Quiz

1.Excessand/orunauthorized expenses,delays,orluxuryaccommodations andserviceswillnotbereimbursedbythecompany, butwillbebornebytheemployee.

2.Yourapplication hasbeendeniedbytheDepartment ofState.

3.Thesubmission youfiledwillbereviewedbythe judges.

Let’seatgrandma!

Let’seat,Grandma!

The purpose of grammar• Clarityofmeaning• Readability• Credibility

The types of grammar errors• Wrong-word errors• Punctuation errors• Usageerrors

Types of Wrong-word errors

Spelling andTypos—Don’t relysolelyonspellcheck!WrongMeaning—Not quitewhatyoumeanttosay• Useadictionary• Becarefulusingathesaurus• Watchoutforwordswiththewrongshadeofmeaning or

thewront wordaltogetherCommonly confused words—Spellcheckwon’t getthese,either!

Some common comma uses

• Useacommaandacoordinating conjunction (and,but, for,or,nor,so,yet)tojointwo independent clauses.

• Usecommas afterintroductory clauses,phrases,orwordsthatcomebeforethemainclause.

• Usecommas toseparatethreeormore words,phrases,orclauseswritteninaseries.

• Usecommas tosetapartaparenthetical phrase(appositive) inasentence.

Some common semicolon uses

• Useasemicolon betweentworelatedindependent clausesthatarenotjoined byaconjunction.Ø Theparticipants inthefirststudywerepaid;thoseinthesecond

wereunpaid.

• Useasemicolon toseparateelementsinaseriesthatalreadycontainscommas.Ø Thestudents intheclasswerefromLynchburg,Virginia;

Washington,D.C.;andRaleigh,NorthCarolina.

Some common semicolon uses

• Useasemicolon tojointwo independent clauseswhenthesecondclausebeginswithaconjunctive adverb(however,therefore,moreover, furthermore, thus,meanwhile,nonetheless, otherwise)oratransition (infact, forexample,that is,forinstance, inaddition, inotherwords,ontheotherhand).Ø Ireallyhavenointerest inpolitics; however,Idoliketostay

informedbywatchingthedebates.

Some common apostrophe uses

• Useanapostrophe tocreateacontraction (butdon’t usecontractions inyourprofessionalwriting!).Ø Idon’tlikehimverymuch.

• Useanapostrophe toformapossessivenoun. Ø Theboard’sworkwillbe

completedbynoon.

The sentence

A complete thought(It can stand alone and

make sense.)

Avoiding sentence fragments

•Afragment isanincomplete sentence.• Itcannot standaloneanddoesnotexpressacompletethought.• Somefragments lackeitherasubjectorverborboth.•Dependentclausesarealsofragments iftheystandalone.

Example: We have been here all day. Since the meeting started.

Don’t run-on

• Arun-onsentenceissentencecomprisedoftwoormoreindependent clausesnotproperlyseparated.

• Lackofpunctuation and/orconjunctions• Incorrectpunctuation• Acomma splice—two independent clausesjoined byacomma—is arun-onsentence.A run-on sentence is not simply a long sentence.

POP QuizDuringthe1960s,development thinking,encompassingbothideology

andstrategy,prioritizedeconomicgrowthandtheapplicationofmodern

scientific andtechnicalknowledgeastheroutetoprosperity inthe

underdevelopedworldanddefinedthe"globaldevelopment problem"as

oneinwhichlessdevelopednationsneededto"catchup"withtheWest

andenterthemodernageofcapitalism andliberaldemocracy,inshort,

toengageinaformofmodernizationthatwasequatedwith

westernization(andanassociatedfaithintherationalityofscienceand

technology).

Examples of run-on sentences

• Theboardmeetingseemedtoneverend, itlastedforhours.• AldermanJonesmadethemotion toadjourn and itwassecondedbyAldermanSmith.

Matching the subject w/the verb

• Singular subjectsmusthavesingular verbs.• Pluralsubjectsmusthavepluralverbs.

TheboardofadjustmentplantomeetonTuesday.

Economicsare atoughsubject.Everyoneunderstand the

issues.

Examples

Editing vs. Proofreading

• Beging editing assoonasyoufinishyourfirstdraft.Yourereadyourdrafttosee,forexample,whetherthepaperiswell-organized, thetransitions aresmooth, andyourevidenceanddocumentaion support thedocument

• Proofreading isthefinalstageoftheediting process,focusingonsurfaceerrorssuchasmisspellings andmistakes ingrammar andpunctuation. Proofreadonlyafteryouhavefinished allofyourotherediting revisions.

Assumetheroleofthereader

Conciseness&clarity

Appropriate details

Appropriate tone

Appropriatelanguage&vocabulary

Grammar,spellingandpunctuation

Content

Accurate

Audience

Consistent

Relevant

Structure

Style

Logical

Transitions

Details

The four foundations of editing

The four foundations of editing

Clarity

Termsdefined

Jargon

Wordchoice

Agreement

Style

Tone

Genderneutral

Variedsentences

Unnecessarywords

Takeabreak.Don’tproofimmediately.

Lookfirstforyourcommonmistakes.

Readaloud.

Useyourcomputertools,butdon’trelyonthem.Spellcheckdoesn’tcatcheverything!

Checkeachsentencecarefully.Isitcomplete?Aretherecommasplices?Run-onsentences?Missingwords?

Havesomeoneelseproofwheneverpossible.

Check“s”wordscarefully.Pluralorpossessive?

Checkforparallelsentenceconstruction.

Ifpossible,proofreadtwiceattwodifferenttimes.

Proofreadingisanartthatcanbelearned.

Correcterrors

Makeeditingchanges

Proofreadagain Editagain

FinalProduct

Final revisions

Pulling it all together

Asdiscussed bycommissionerJones,thereisaparadoxicalsituationbetweenthefundingstreams inthecounty’swaterdepartmentandthemunicipality ofSmalltown.Essentially, hepositsthatwearecompetingagainstthemforstatefundingandthatweshouldallbeworkingtogetherfor“abrighterfuture.”HefurthermentionedhisdiscussionswithAldermanSmithaboutthis issue.Hereassuredhimthatwecouldalldoabetterjobofworkingtogetheronthismatter.Theboardthenapprovedareapprovedaresolution(seeAppendixA)presentedbyMr.Jonesthatrelatedtothismatter.Mr.Jonesmadethemotion,Commissioner Lewisseconded,anditpassedunanimously.

Pulling it all together

Commissioner Jonesbroughttotheboard’sattention thatthecountyandSmalltown continuetocompete formoniestofundtheirwaterdepartments. Mr.Jonesfurtherstatedthathehadhaddiscussed thismatterwithStevenSmith,analdermaninSmalltown.

Mr.Jones introducedaresolution (seeAppendix A)that laysthefoundationforamorecooperativeworkingrelationship. Afterdiscussion,Mr.Jonesmovedthattheresolution beapproved,andCommissionerLewisseconded. Themotionpassed 5-0.

Pulling it all together

Commissioner Jonesmovedtoapprovearesolution (seeAppendixA)totheboardtoestablish acollaborativeworkingrelationship betweenthecounty’swaterdepartment andSmalltown’s.Theresolution addressedtheneedforthetwogovernmentstoworkcloselyonaccessing fundingforbothdepartments toensurefuturegrowthforboththetownandthecounty.Commissioner Smithseconded themotion.

Inthediscussion, Commissioner JonesassuredhisfellowcommissionersthatAlderman StevenSmithofSmalltown wouldproposeanidenticalresolution tothetown’sboard.Theboardapprovedthemotion toapprovetheresolution unanimously.

Writing for the digital age

A new audience on the Web

•WebusersdoNOTread.Theyscan!•Information forthewebcannot betoodense,butshouldinsteadbeasshortandreadableaspossible•Evendocuments thataren’tessentiallywrittenfortheweb—e.g.,meetingminutesorpolicies—are nowreadmoreoftenonthewebthan inprint•Thewebchangesyouraudience—scanners vs.readers.

• Webusersareincreasinglyusingportabledevicesforaccess,including governmentwebsites.

• Smartphonesarethefastestgrowing segmentofwebusers.• Loadtime iskeytophoneusers• Readability isthesecondkeyfactor

• Tabletsarethesecondfastestgrowing segmentofwebusers.

And the changes keep coming…

• Eyetracking researchshowshowpeopledealwithapagewithdensetext.• Peoplereadinanexagerated “F”pattern online—PC, phone,tablet.•Onaverage,usersreadthefirst3wordsoneachlineandmayscanfromthere.

Reading in the key of “F”

• Simplify yourlanguage whenpossiblefordigitalpublications.

• Sentencesmustbeactive indigital togetthereadersattention.

• Usetables,charts,bulletedornumbered lists,andgraphswhenpossible.Remember, digitalpublications aremoreavisualmedium than aprintmedium.

Some hints for digital

Use everyday language for the web

• Peoplewhoscandocuments aremorelikelytocomprehendeverydaywords.

• Readability iskeytodigitalandprintdocuments.• Everydaywordsaregenerallymoreprecise thancomplex

words.

Examples of everyday language

anticipateattempt

commencedemonstrateimplement

intheeventthatsubmit

terminate

expecttrybegin,startshow,provestartifsend,giveend,cancel

POP Quiz

Intheeventthat inclementweatheroccurs,occupants oftheofficeshouldcommence implementation ofthehazardous

communication plan.Theplanshallonlybeterminated atthedirection oftheemergencymanagement director.

Everyday terms and clarity

•Avoid“Shall.” Itisambiguous and isnotusedineverydayspeech•Use“must”foranobligation•Use“mustnot”foraprohibition•Use“may”foradiscretionaryaction•Use“should”forarecommendation

Shall we avoid shall?

• Accordingtolegalexperts,shall isnotnecessary inthewritingoflegal

policiesorlaws.TheSupremeCourthas:

• Heldthatalegislative amendmentfrom“shall”to“may”hadno

substantive effect

• Heldthat“shall”means“must”forexistingrights,butthatitneed

notbeconstruedasmandatorywhenanewrightiscreated

• Acknowledgedthat,“legalwriterssometimes misuse ‘shall’to

mean‘should,’‘will,’oreven‘may.’”plainlanguage.gov

What happens when things are unclear

• Astronaut TakesBlameforGasinSpacecraft• KidsMakeNutritious Snacks• ChefThrowsHisHeartintoHelpingFeedNeedy• LocalHighSchoolDropouts Cut inHalf• HospitalsareSuedby7FootDoctors• Typhoon RipsThrough Cemetery;HundredsDead

Questions

ChrisRobinsonchris.robinson@wilkescc.edu