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Write Less,Say More
Technical Writing Skills for Clerks
2016 Clerks Certificaiton InstituteOctober 27, 2016
Chris RobinsonVice President, Wilkes Community College
“Thedifferencebetweenthealmostrightwordandtherightwordis…thedifferencebetweenthelightningbugandthelightning.”
—MarkTwain
“There’snotmuchtobesaidabouttheperiodexceptthatmostwritersdon’treachitsoonenough.”
―William Zinsser,OnWritingWell:TheClassic GuidetoWritingNonfiction
“Notthatthestoryneedbelong,butitwill takealongwhiletomakeitshort.”
– HenryDavidThoreau
Agendaa) Overviewb) PlainLanguage/Writing—What isit?c) EssentialsofTechnicalWriting
a) Processb) Understandingyouraudiencec) GrammarandSpellingd) Applyingittoyourwork
d) WritingfortheDigitalAgee) Wrapupandquestions
How does this affect my job?
“Oneoftheclerk’smostimportant statutory dutiesistopreparetheminutesofgoverningboardmeetingsandmaintain theminasetofminutebooks.Thepowersofacityoracountyareexercisedbythecitycouncil ortheboardofcountycommissioners, andtheminutesofthegoverningboard’smeetingsaretheofficialrecordofwhat itdoes.”
A.Fleming Bell,Popular Government,Vol. 61,No.4,p.22,Summer 1996
What is plain language?
"Acommunicationisinplainlanguageifitswording,structure,anddesignaresoclearthattheintendedreaderscanreadilyfindwhattheyneed,understandit,anduseit.”
--CenterforPlain Language
What is plain writing?
Communicaiton thatreaderscanunderstandthefirsttime theyreadit!
What plain language is NOT
PlainLanguageisNOT:
• Uneducated, folksyorwhimsicalwriting• Strippeddownlanguage• Imprecise• Something that lawyerswon’tgofor• EASY
Why use plain language?
Why we write…
1. Toconveyideasandthoughts toouraudience2. Todocument actions3. Toanswerquestions orconcerns4. Tocalltoaction like-minded people5. Toexplain operations, decisionsandotherdetails.
Why we write…
1. Toconveyideasandthoughts toouraudience2. Todocument actions3. Toanswerquestions orconcerns4. Tocalltoaction like-minded people5. Toexplain operations, decisionsandotherdetails.
The Communication Process
Planning
Writing
Revising
• Audience• Style• Informationgathering• Organization/Format
• RoughDraft• Clarity/Brevity• Grammar• WordChoice
• FirstDraft • Editing• Proofreading• Revising• FinalDraft
The writing process
The elements of planning
Whoisyouraudience?What information isneeded?Where areyoumostcomfortablewriting?Whenisyourcompletion deadline?Why areyouwriting?Yourpurpose?Howdoyoupresentinthebestformatfortheaudience?
Understanding your audience
The 3 Audiences of Business Writing
• Internal—Collegial style,personalbutprofessional• External (specificaudience)—Formal, withspecific
vocabulary and industry-related jargon thatwillbeunderstood.
• Public—Formal, withvocabulary atanappropriate readingleveland jargonfree.
POP Quiz
Listthreegroup thatyoucommonly writetoorfor.Whatdotheyhaveincommon?Whataretheirdifferences?
Identify your audience
• Who ismyaudience—internal, external,public?• What doesmyaudience alreadyknowabout thesubject?• What doesmyaudience needtoknow?• What questionswillmyaudience have?• What’sthebestoutcome formyagency?Whatdo Ineed
tosaytogetthisoutcome?• What’sthebestoutcome forouraudience?WhatdoI
needtosaytogetthisoutcome?
POP Quiz
Takeoneofthethreeaudiencesyou identifiedpreviouslyandanswertheaudiencequestions.Howwillthat impact yourwritingforthataudience?
The public reading level
• Theaverage adultreadsatthe9th gradereading level• Theaveragenewspaperiswrittenatthe11th gradereadinglevel
• Morethan20% ofthepublicreadatorbelowthe5th gradereading levelMinutesandgeneraldocumentswrittenforthepublicshould
beatthe10th gradelevelorbelow.
The Dreaded “Bureaucratese”
Bureaucratese isalanguage unto itself,notedforthreedistinct characteristics:• toobfuscateperfectlynormal actionsordirectionstothe
detrimentofpublicservice;• toprovethe“intelligence” ofthewriterwithout regardto
thereader;• torenderwrittencommunication into lengthysentences,
therebysupporting thepaperandtimber industries
Focus your attention outward on the audience
L NOT J BUT…
WhatdoI wanttosay? Whatdoestheaudienceneedtoknow?
HowcanI protectmy HowcanIservetheinterests? audience’s interests?
WhatcanIdotoimpress you? WhatcanIclearlyexpresstotheaudience?
The elements of planning
Whoisyouraudience?What information isneeded?Where areyoumostcomfortablewriting?Whenisyourcompletion deadline?Why areyouwriting?Yourpurpose?Howdoyoupresentinthebestformatfortheaudience?
Why are you writing?
• Todocument—meeting minutes, reports• Toinform—memos, letters,pressreleases,emails,website
information, reports,proposals• Torespond—letters,emails
Yourpurposedeterminesthemodality, thetone,andthestyleofyourproject.
The elements of planning
Whoisyouraudience?What information isneeded?Where areyoumostcomfortablewriting?Whenisyourcompletion deadline?Why areyouwriting?Yourpurpose?Howdoyoupresenttheinformation fortheaudience?
Writing with styleAstylesheetcanbeuseful for
• Routinedocumentsandcorrespondence• Officialdocuments,e.g.,policiesorresolutions• Meetingminutes• Website information
Astylesheet includes• Formattingguidelines• Commontermsofaddress• Grammarrulesthatareambiguous
Astyleguideshouldbeapprovedby• The“authors”—whoisresponsible forcompiling the information• Thesupervisor—manager, boss,orwhomever• Theelected bodyifforofficialcommunication
Item Style OtherIssuesFormattingMinutes 12pt.Times NewRoman, 1.5
spaces, header includes dateofmeeting and type(regular,special, etc.).
Attendees areincluded belowheader and include boardmembers and staff.Use fullnames in header
Termsofaddress--Chairman Chairman used asformal term,e.g.,Chairman JaneJones.
Chairman Jones is used insubsequent usage insamedocument
Termsofaddress—Members Commissioner used asformalterm, e.g.,Commissioner JohnDoe
Commissioner Doe isused insubsequent usage insamedocument.
A sample style sheet
Item Style OtherIssuesTermsofaddress—Staff Official titlesareused for
department leadership, e.g.,County Manager John Smith orDSSDirectorDonnaGains
Common salutations used insubsequent usage, e.g.,Mr.SmithorMs.Gains.When confusionmayoccur, use thetitleafterthesalutation, e.g.,Mr.Smith, countymanager, ...
Termsofaddress—Public Full nameused firsttime,followed bytitle, e.g.,SamJohnson, president oftheSmalltown RotaryClub, …
Common salutations used insubsequent usage, e.g.,Mr.Johnson.
Grammatical—Serial Comma Noserial comma is usedbeforetheword “and”,e.g.,item1,item2,item3and item4.
Exceptions maybemade forclarity.
Document formatting
Meetingminutes—Predetermined format.Developastylesheet.Letters,correspondence andinterofficememos—Most officesuseacommon template. Ifnot, beatrendsetter--startone!Reports,presentations, andotherexternaldocuments—Useeffectivetechniques thathighlight what ismostimportant.Leavesufficientwhitespaceinmargins, etc.Emailandwebsitedate—Discussion tocome!
Getting started
Writer’sblock isreal!Some ideastogetyoustarted• Outline theprocess• Freewriting• Clustering
As much as one-third of your times is spent in
planning your work. The payoff is in saved time
during editing and proofing, making the process
smoother and more rewarding.
The elements of writing
• Clear• Concise• Concrete• Correct• Coherent• Complete• Courteous
Using the 7Cs
MinimizethenumberofideasineachsentenceOneidea perparagraphUsetheactivevoicewheneverpossibleUsepronouns properlyAvoidghostverbsAvoidredundanciesNeveruse“bureaucratize” andavoid jargonVaryyoursentencelength and structure
Using the 7Cs
Laser-likefocus onthefactsanddetails.Error-free communication thatfitsyouraudienceLogical arrangement, withallpointsconnected andrelevantTheflowandtoneofyourdocument isconsistentYouraudience haseverything neededtobeinformedandtakeaction.Yourcommunication istransparent andthetoneisopenandprofessional
What happens when things are unclear?
• IraqiHeadSeeksArms• ColdWaveLinkedtoTemperature• PoliceBeginCampaign toRunDownJaywalkers• EnragedCowInjuresFarmerwithAx• FarmerBillDiesinHouse• QueenMaryHavingBottom Scraped• TwoSistersReuniteAfter18YearsatCheckout Counter
A simple rule for writing…
The active voice
Usingactivevoiceforthemajority ofyoursentencesmakesyourmeaning clearforreaders,andkeepsthesentencesfrombecoming toocomplicated orwordy.
PassiveThedogwas
bittenbytheboy
ActiveTheboybitthe
dog.
Finding your active voice
Activevoice—Thesubjectofthesentenceperformstheaction.
Passivevoice—Theverb isfirstandhastwoparts—”to be”andpastparticiple oftheverb.
The commissioners approved the ordinance.
The ordinance was approved by the commissioners.
Why avoid passive voice
Passive VoiceTheapplication mustbe
completed bytheapplicantandreceivedbythefinancial officeatthetimedesignated bythatoffice.
Active VoiceThefinancial aidoffice
mustreceivethecompletedapplication bythedeadline.
Active voice is clear and concise !
POP Quiz
Excessand/orunauthorized expenses,delays,orluxuryaccommodations andserviceswillnotbereimbursedbythecompany, butwillbebornebytheemployee.
Yourapplication hasbeendeniedbytheDepartment ofState.
Thesubmission youfiledwillbereviewedbythejudges.
Pronouns are our friends!
Whatdopronouns do?
ü Speakdirectlytoreadersü Makeyourwritingrelevanttoreadersü Requirelesstranslation fromyourreadersü Eliminatewords
Use “we” to refer to your agency.Use “you” to refer to your reader.
Make your pronouns agree
• Pronouns arewordsthattaketheplaceofnouns.• Antecedentsarethewordsthatthepronouns referto.• Pronounsmustagreewiththeirantecedents innumber,gender,andperson.
Everyone should make their own decisions.
Each speaker maintained their poise.
Avoiding ghost verbs
Beware!Ghostverbsarehidden asnounsandwillmakeyourwritingpassiveandsometimesconfusing.Avoidthem!
Conduct ananalysisPresentareportDoanassessmentProvideassistanceCametotheconclusion of
AnalyzeReportAssessHelpConcluded
Avoiding redundancies
Redundancies arewordsorphrasesthatyoudonotneed,generallybecauseyouhavealreadysaidthesamething.
ExamplesAtalatertime LaterDuringthattimeperiod DuringthattimeorthenLevelofcoverage CoverageWorkedjointly together WorkedtogetherWillplan inthefuture Willplan
POP Quiz
TheBrownCounty Building Inspectorhasconducted anextensiveinvestigation ofthecodeviolations notedduring thegeneralpurpose(GP)inspection datedMay22,1998.TheInspectordetermined thatthevariousviolations hadbeencorrectedtothesatisfaction oflocalcode11.8.8andhasdeterminedthat theprojectcannowcontinue.TheInspectorhasprovidedapproval tothegeneralcontractor forresumption oftheproject. (65words)
POP Quiz
TheBrownCounty Building Inspector investigatedthecodeviolations notedduring theMay22,1998, generalpurposeinspection andhasdetermined that thevariousviolationshavebeencorrectedtothestandards oflocalcode11.8.8.Hehasapproved resumption oftheproject. (42words)
Avoiding complexity
Chooseyourwordscarefully• Avoid jargon• Usetherightwordsthatbestdescribetheaction
EnsureonlyonesubjectperparagraphGenerally,youshouldhave15wordsorlesspersentenceUseconjunctions (and, but)sparingly
A few words about word choiceUtilizeUsetheleastcomplexwordpossible.
Avoidcompletelyunnecessarywords.
Watchthesuperfluousadjectives andadverbs.
InsureEnsureyouusetheproperword.
• Bothabbreviations andacronyms lackclarity inmostusesandshouldbeusedsparingly.
• Abbreviations should beexplainedwhenused—CommunityDevelopmentAgency(CDA)
• Acronymsmaystandalone—AWOL, ASAP,SNAFU• Again, bothshould beavoided whenpossible.
A word on abbreviations & acronyms
POP Quiz
1.Excessand/orunauthorized expenses,delays,orluxuryaccommodations andserviceswillnotbereimbursedbythecompany, butwillbebornebytheemployee.
2.Yourapplication hasbeendeniedbytheDepartment ofState.
3.Thesubmission youfiledwillbereviewedbythe judges.
Let’seatgrandma!
Let’seat,Grandma!
The purpose of grammar• Clarityofmeaning• Readability• Credibility
The types of grammar errors• Wrong-word errors• Punctuation errors• Usageerrors
Types of Wrong-word errors
Spelling andTypos—Don’t relysolelyonspellcheck!WrongMeaning—Not quitewhatyoumeanttosay• Useadictionary• Becarefulusingathesaurus• Watchoutforwordswiththewrongshadeofmeaning or
thewront wordaltogetherCommonly confused words—Spellcheckwon’t getthese,either!
Some common comma uses
• Useacommaandacoordinating conjunction (and,but, for,or,nor,so,yet)tojointwo independent clauses.
• Usecommas afterintroductory clauses,phrases,orwordsthatcomebeforethemainclause.
• Usecommas toseparatethreeormore words,phrases,orclauseswritteninaseries.
• Usecommas tosetapartaparenthetical phrase(appositive) inasentence.
Some common semicolon uses
• Useasemicolon betweentworelatedindependent clausesthatarenotjoined byaconjunction.Ø Theparticipants inthefirststudywerepaid;thoseinthesecond
wereunpaid.
• Useasemicolon toseparateelementsinaseriesthatalreadycontainscommas.Ø Thestudents intheclasswerefromLynchburg,Virginia;
Washington,D.C.;andRaleigh,NorthCarolina.
Some common semicolon uses
• Useasemicolon tojointwo independent clauseswhenthesecondclausebeginswithaconjunctive adverb(however,therefore,moreover, furthermore, thus,meanwhile,nonetheless, otherwise)oratransition (infact, forexample,that is,forinstance, inaddition, inotherwords,ontheotherhand).Ø Ireallyhavenointerest inpolitics; however,Idoliketostay
informedbywatchingthedebates.
Some common apostrophe uses
• Useanapostrophe tocreateacontraction (butdon’t usecontractions inyourprofessionalwriting!).Ø Idon’tlikehimverymuch.
• Useanapostrophe toformapossessivenoun. Ø Theboard’sworkwillbe
completedbynoon.
The sentence
A complete thought(It can stand alone and
make sense.)
Avoiding sentence fragments
•Afragment isanincomplete sentence.• Itcannot standaloneanddoesnotexpressacompletethought.• Somefragments lackeitherasubjectorverborboth.•Dependentclausesarealsofragments iftheystandalone.
Example: We have been here all day. Since the meeting started.
Don’t run-on
• Arun-onsentenceissentencecomprisedoftwoormoreindependent clausesnotproperlyseparated.
• Lackofpunctuation and/orconjunctions• Incorrectpunctuation• Acomma splice—two independent clausesjoined byacomma—is arun-onsentence.A run-on sentence is not simply a long sentence.
POP QuizDuringthe1960s,development thinking,encompassingbothideology
andstrategy,prioritizedeconomicgrowthandtheapplicationofmodern
scientific andtechnicalknowledgeastheroutetoprosperity inthe
underdevelopedworldanddefinedthe"globaldevelopment problem"as
oneinwhichlessdevelopednationsneededto"catchup"withtheWest
andenterthemodernageofcapitalism andliberaldemocracy,inshort,
toengageinaformofmodernizationthatwasequatedwith
westernization(andanassociatedfaithintherationalityofscienceand
technology).
Examples of run-on sentences
• Theboardmeetingseemedtoneverend, itlastedforhours.• AldermanJonesmadethemotion toadjourn and itwassecondedbyAldermanSmith.
Matching the subject w/the verb
• Singular subjectsmusthavesingular verbs.• Pluralsubjectsmusthavepluralverbs.
TheboardofadjustmentplantomeetonTuesday.
Economicsare atoughsubject.Everyoneunderstand the
issues.
Examples
Editing vs. Proofreading
• Beging editing assoonasyoufinishyourfirstdraft.Yourereadyourdrafttosee,forexample,whetherthepaperiswell-organized, thetransitions aresmooth, andyourevidenceanddocumentaion support thedocument
• Proofreading isthefinalstageoftheediting process,focusingonsurfaceerrorssuchasmisspellings andmistakes ingrammar andpunctuation. Proofreadonlyafteryouhavefinished allofyourotherediting revisions.
Assumetheroleofthereader
Conciseness&clarity
Appropriate details
Appropriate tone
Appropriatelanguage&vocabulary
Grammar,spellingandpunctuation
Content
Accurate
Audience
Consistent
Relevant
Structure
Style
Logical
Transitions
Details
The four foundations of editing
The four foundations of editing
Clarity
Termsdefined
Jargon
Wordchoice
Agreement
Style
Tone
Genderneutral
Variedsentences
Unnecessarywords
Takeabreak.Don’tproofimmediately.
Lookfirstforyourcommonmistakes.
Readaloud.
Useyourcomputertools,butdon’trelyonthem.Spellcheckdoesn’tcatcheverything!
Checkeachsentencecarefully.Isitcomplete?Aretherecommasplices?Run-onsentences?Missingwords?
Havesomeoneelseproofwheneverpossible.
Check“s”wordscarefully.Pluralorpossessive?
Checkforparallelsentenceconstruction.
Ifpossible,proofreadtwiceattwodifferenttimes.
Proofreadingisanartthatcanbelearned.
Correcterrors
Makeeditingchanges
Proofreadagain Editagain
FinalProduct
Final revisions
Pulling it all together
Asdiscussed bycommissionerJones,thereisaparadoxicalsituationbetweenthefundingstreams inthecounty’swaterdepartmentandthemunicipality ofSmalltown.Essentially, hepositsthatwearecompetingagainstthemforstatefundingandthatweshouldallbeworkingtogetherfor“abrighterfuture.”HefurthermentionedhisdiscussionswithAldermanSmithaboutthis issue.Hereassuredhimthatwecouldalldoabetterjobofworkingtogetheronthismatter.Theboardthenapprovedareapprovedaresolution(seeAppendixA)presentedbyMr.Jonesthatrelatedtothismatter.Mr.Jonesmadethemotion,Commissioner Lewisseconded,anditpassedunanimously.
Pulling it all together
Commissioner Jonesbroughttotheboard’sattention thatthecountyandSmalltown continuetocompete formoniestofundtheirwaterdepartments. Mr.Jonesfurtherstatedthathehadhaddiscussed thismatterwithStevenSmith,analdermaninSmalltown.
Mr.Jones introducedaresolution (seeAppendix A)that laysthefoundationforamorecooperativeworkingrelationship. Afterdiscussion,Mr.Jonesmovedthattheresolution beapproved,andCommissionerLewisseconded. Themotionpassed 5-0.
Pulling it all together
Commissioner Jonesmovedtoapprovearesolution (seeAppendixA)totheboardtoestablish acollaborativeworkingrelationship betweenthecounty’swaterdepartment andSmalltown’s.Theresolution addressedtheneedforthetwogovernmentstoworkcloselyonaccessing fundingforbothdepartments toensurefuturegrowthforboththetownandthecounty.Commissioner Smithseconded themotion.
Inthediscussion, Commissioner JonesassuredhisfellowcommissionersthatAlderman StevenSmithofSmalltown wouldproposeanidenticalresolution tothetown’sboard.Theboardapprovedthemotion toapprovetheresolution unanimously.
Writing for the digital age
A new audience on the Web
•WebusersdoNOTread.Theyscan!•Information forthewebcannot betoodense,butshouldinsteadbeasshortandreadableaspossible•Evendocuments thataren’tessentiallywrittenfortheweb—e.g.,meetingminutesorpolicies—are nowreadmoreoftenonthewebthan inprint•Thewebchangesyouraudience—scanners vs.readers.
• Webusersareincreasinglyusingportabledevicesforaccess,including governmentwebsites.
• Smartphonesarethefastestgrowing segmentofwebusers.• Loadtime iskeytophoneusers• Readability isthesecondkeyfactor
• Tabletsarethesecondfastestgrowing segmentofwebusers.
And the changes keep coming…
• Eyetracking researchshowshowpeopledealwithapagewithdensetext.• Peoplereadinanexagerated “F”pattern online—PC, phone,tablet.•Onaverage,usersreadthefirst3wordsoneachlineandmayscanfromthere.
Reading in the key of “F”
• Simplify yourlanguage whenpossiblefordigitalpublications.
• Sentencesmustbeactive indigital togetthereadersattention.
• Usetables,charts,bulletedornumbered lists,andgraphswhenpossible.Remember, digitalpublications aremoreavisualmedium than aprintmedium.
Some hints for digital
Use everyday language for the web
• Peoplewhoscandocuments aremorelikelytocomprehendeverydaywords.
• Readability iskeytodigitalandprintdocuments.• Everydaywordsaregenerallymoreprecise thancomplex
words.
Examples of everyday language
anticipateattempt
commencedemonstrateimplement
intheeventthatsubmit
terminate
expecttrybegin,startshow,provestartifsend,giveend,cancel
POP Quiz
Intheeventthat inclementweatheroccurs,occupants oftheofficeshouldcommence implementation ofthehazardous
communication plan.Theplanshallonlybeterminated atthedirection oftheemergencymanagement director.
Everyday terms and clarity
•Avoid“Shall.” Itisambiguous and isnotusedineverydayspeech•Use“must”foranobligation•Use“mustnot”foraprohibition•Use“may”foradiscretionaryaction•Use“should”forarecommendation
Shall we avoid shall?
• Accordingtolegalexperts,shall isnotnecessary inthewritingoflegal
policiesorlaws.TheSupremeCourthas:
• Heldthatalegislative amendmentfrom“shall”to“may”hadno
substantive effect
• Heldthat“shall”means“must”forexistingrights,butthatitneed
notbeconstruedasmandatorywhenanewrightiscreated
• Acknowledgedthat,“legalwriterssometimes misuse ‘shall’to
mean‘should,’‘will,’oreven‘may.’”plainlanguage.gov
What happens when things are unclear
• Astronaut TakesBlameforGasinSpacecraft• KidsMakeNutritious Snacks• ChefThrowsHisHeartintoHelpingFeedNeedy• LocalHighSchoolDropouts Cut inHalf• HospitalsareSuedby7FootDoctors• Typhoon RipsThrough Cemetery;HundredsDead
