Annual Conference - National Association for the Education of Young Children

Friday, November 7, 2008 Dallas, TexasJosh Thompson

Stephen Garretson Texas A&M University-Commerce

Words work. We use them all the time to do things. Children know this. They are listening, copying, experimenting, approximating, trying every which way to communicate. What do we, as caregivers and classroom teachers, know about the way men talk to their children, and how does their communication affect the child, especially the development of her language and literacy? This interactive session will examine audio and video samples of men talking to children, with expert guidance into the content and meaning of this interaction. Participants will learn how to encourage fathers to expand their communication styles, thus increase the child’s language and literacy development. Specific skills and strategies to improve father-child communication will be demonstrated.

That they dominate is well-documented How they dominate varies What do teachers and caregivers do when

men tend to dominate them with language? How do children respond / react to their

fathers’ language? How can teachers and caregivers help

fathers engage in conversations with their children?

Presumed examples of language of domination ◦ Interruption ◦ Volubility ◦ Silence◦ Topic raising

Presumed examples of language of powerlessness ◦ Indirectness◦ Taciturnity◦ Silence◦ Tag questions

(Tannen, 1994, p. 21)

Relativity of five linguistic strategies◦ Indirectness◦ Interruption◦ Silence versus volubility ◦ Topic raising ◦ Adversative-ness

Solidarity – way of feeling closer Power – offer solutions

Fight or flight – Cannon (1932) Tend & befriend – Taylor (2002)

Power <-> Solidarity

Asymmetry

<-> Symmetry

Hierarchy <-> Equality

Distance <-> Closeness

Grandparent-grandchild Hierarch

y

Employer - employee

Closeness Distance

Siblings

Equality Co-workers or Neighbors

Routines

Rituals

Traditions

Story time & book reading Mealtimes Games Driving Homework Helps Meeting people Prayer, meditation, centering on interior life Making peace, reconciling Being a warrior – becoming a lover

Be there◦ Without distractions (TV, radio, phone, etc)

Help prepare, w/ children Set boundaries for conversations

◦ (tone, topic, respect) “Today” conversation, family stories Family cleanup “Listen” w/ eye contact

Taking time – step by step◦ Divide into small steps

Team work (modeling) / Partnership Sing songs Make it fun. Start simple Set tone -> closeness Ask questions (open-ended) Patient -> accept what child does, DAP

Ask about child’s interests Ask about their day

◦ Open-ended questions ◦ Reword; ‘fish’ for more complex response

Prepare / communicate what’s next

<Power going to the child> versus Father’s interest of primary

concernAsk specific questions (child holds the

answer) Work off of their responses Follow up to specific concerns brought up by

the child Child participation / input

Kids imitate – both good & bad Sportsmanship – how to lose, how to win Appropriate language / mannersisms Understand purpose of the game Tolerance of ability / passion Understand rules / play by play Developmental abilities

Importance of it Show him how & reading it aloud Relate it from his childhood Difference between mom & dad reading Meaningful book – to promote conversation

◦ Relate it to father’s job / hobbies to come to the classroom

Rituals ◦ Bath time

Take time to create and foster contact w/ child ◦ Story

Use voices, tone, velocity ◦ Share time

Ask how their day was What was important

◦ Security – help kids feel safe ◦ Take the time to comment on the kid’s work

Dads are talking Kids are listening Teachers have clues Do NOT make the dad into a teacher

◦ Let him be real◦ Power is useful in his relationship w/ child ◦ Closeness does not deny that power

Annual Conference - National Association for the Education of Young Children

Friday, November 7, 2008 Dallas, TexasJosh Thompson

Stephen Garretson Texas A&M University-Commerce

Josh_Thompson@tamu-commerce.edu 214-663-6102 http://faculty.tamu-commerce.edu/jthompson/

Stephen_Garretson@tamu-commerce.edu 972-775-7231http://faculty.tamu-commerce.edu/sgarretson/