are you positive ? dr. declan aherne clinical psychologist, sports psychologist and psychotherapist....
TRANSCRIPT
Are you positive ?
• Dr. Declan Aherne
Clinical Psychologist, Sports Psychologist and Psychotherapist. University of Limerick and
Oakwood Psychological Services,Castletroy.
Aim of this talk
•To learn how to promote confidence, as a necessary part of any prospective job seeker.
A positive attitude
• Is what employers look for
• Is what makes an impression
• Is what will sustain you in your search
On being positive
Take stock of your talents:
What are the three strongest talents that you have to offer an prospective employer.
• FEAR OF SUCCESS
‘The Jonah Syndrome’ ( Maslowe) We fear our highest possibility. We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments. Why,because it takes courage.
Myths about confidence
• Only positive feedback can build confidence.
• Either you have it or you don’t• Success always builds confidence• Mistakes inevitably destroy
confidence• Confidence means outspoken
arrogance
Self-talk
Your thoughts determine how you feel:
Think negative – feel negative, anxious, self-doubt.
Think positive – feel confident
You need to listen to yourself- what do you tell yourself ?
Mistaken beliefs
•Perfection is essential•Catastrophizing•Worth depends on
achievement•Fallacy of fairness and ideal
conditions•Blaming
Typical Thinking Errors
1. All or nothing thinking e.g. if I don’t get this job, I’m no good.
2. Overgeneralising e.g. I’ll never get a job.
3. Dwelling on the negative e.g. my cv is limited.
4. Disqualifying the positive e.g. I was lucky to be called for inteview.
Typical thinknig errors contd.
5. Jumping to conclusions. e.g. I know I wont get that job
6. Emotional reasoning. e.g. I feel I’m no good.
7. Should statements. e.g. I should have a job by now.
8. Personalisation e.g. its my fault I’m out of work.
The art of self talk
Knowing what words to use and what words not to use
‘should’, ‘must’ and ‘have to’ are
out,
‘can’ and ‘will’ are in.
The 3 Steps to positive self-talk
1. Identifying your negative thoughts
2. Challenging and correcting your negative thoughts / thought stopping.
3. Developing your own positive affirmations
Challenging you negative thoughts and beliefs
• Are beliefs based on objective reality• Are they true all of the time ?• Do you want to have these beliefs ?• Are they helpful ?• Do they help you reach your goal ?• Do they help you feel confident ?• Are there alternative ways of thinking
about the situation that are more helpful ?
Positive thinking• I can get this job.• I’m as good as anyone else.• Not everyone good enough will get selected,
which is no reflection on them as a person.• I have many strengths.• I have been selected for interview because I’m
good enough.• The job is available for the taking, someone
must get it and I’m as worthy as anyone else.• Regardless of how I get on, I still value myself
and believe in myself and my ability.• I will continue striving to improve myself all of
the time.• I am deserving of work, I know I am very
capable and I will continue to seek jobs until I succeed.
Staying positive in your job search• Plan your work day• Hang out with positive people• Know your support networks• Learn from the past• Self-improve• Keep your goals clearly in front of you• Take a break, get out, get involved.• Focus on yourself rather than on the economic
climate• Persist in the face of adversity• Approach the interview as a sales pitch
Success• ‘ it isn’t how much talent
you have that makes you successful; but your ability to use all the talent you have to reach your full potential’ ( Carl Lewis, winner of 10 Olympic gold medals ).