are you teaching your kids to obey or to disobey?

Permissive Parent Characteristics

Very “loving”…So “loving” that they give in, don’t set rules and…theyAvoid confrontationWeak - can’t say no…maybe too tired, afraid of confrontation, etc.Cave in to tantrums

www.howsyourlovecup.com

Permissive Parent Characteristics

Don’t assign chores/responsibilitiesProtect kids from any frustration (i.e., chores)Don’t teach kids to wait (instant gratification)Are inconsistentAre very protective


Permissive Parent Results

They stunt emotional growth - kids never leave the “me…me…me” stage (0-4 yr old)Don’t know how to wait – don’t know how to work before they play, how to save, etc., etc.Are master manipulatorsAre weak, like the example of their parentsDon’t feel loved www.howsyourlovecup.com

Permissive Parent Results

Have low self-worthHave the wreckless attitude of “Risk it”Can’t say noDon’t learn to obey (no respect for authorityDon’t trust you, you have no credibility


“Drill Sergeant” Parent Characteristics

ControllingOrdering/YellingThink for you“I’m right” “my way or the highway”Do not allow any discussionCommonly use violence


“Drill Sergeant” Parent Characteristics

Show favoritism – compare kidsAre perfectionistsCriticize in an attempt to motivateUse Guilt Trips / Mind Games/Black MailDon’t respect boundaries


“Drill Sergeant” Parent Results

Your kids will:Feel humiliatedFeel “like nothing” (invisible)Be Afraid to be CreativeLive in Fear – freezeHave distant relationships


“Drill Sargeant” Parent Results

Be experts at sneaking / lyingNot be able to say noHave Low Self EsteemLikely be a BullyNot like Siblings (result of being compared)


“Drill Sargeant” Parent Results

Not know what they like, Have a hard time making decisions, no common senseQuestion themselves - insecureNot try their best – why botherOften “go wild”Run from your values/God


Coach-Type Parent Characteristics

Love Healthily = Have Limits/Rules/BoundariesInsist on Obedience – (Do not fear not being liked)Are firm and loving – Kids always know the consequences in advance (always fair)Are very encouraging – praise the effort, not the person (I am vs. I can change)


Coach-Type Parent Characteristics

Your kids will: Believe in You – don’t do things for youInvolve Everyone – create a team give jobRespectful, Stick up for you, Always Teaching


Coach-Type Parent Results

Know how to choose – how to make decisions –Learn to obey (understand consequences)Have high self worthBe able to say noKnow it’s ok to like different thingsNot fear not being liked – no peer pressure


Coach-Type Parent Results

Feel Competent – not afraid to make mistakesBe CreativeWill Trust you / Believe you / Respect you


are you teaching your kids to obey or to disobey?

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