ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR WITHIN THE SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT

Presented byRoy Huggins

President Doncaster AssociationKeith Old

Media and Information Officer In conjunction with JKL Theatre

Session aims and outcomes

1. To highlight the concept of assertive behaviour.

2. To provide strategies for personal growth and development.

3. To highlight the role of the NASUWT in supporting members.

4. To support members experiencing difficulties in their place of work.

What is Assertiveness?The Concise Oxford Dictionary defines assertiveness as:“Forthright, positive, insistence on the recognition of one's rights”

“Assertiveness means standing up for your personal rights - expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways

In all your interactions with other people, whether at home or at work with employers, customers or colleagues, assertiveness can help you to express yourself in a clear, open and reasonable way, without undermining the rights of yourself or others.

Assertiveness enables an individual to act in their own best interests, to stand up for themselves without undue anxiety, to express honest feelings comfortably and to express personal rights without denying the rights of others.

Assertive Behaviour defined

Some people confuse assertive behaviour with aggression, and mistakenly think that to assert yourself is to stand your ground and refuse to compromise in any way.

You have the right to ....• be treated with respect and dignity.• have and express your own feelings and opinions.• be listened to and taken seriously.• judge your own behaviour, thoughts and emotions, and to undertake the responsibility for their

initiation, and consequences upon yourself.• make mistakes and be responsible for them.• to say : "I don't know".• to say : " I don't understand.“• ask for information (including from professionals).• change your mind.• be independent to the goodwill of others before coping with them.• get what you pay for.• choose your profession.• practise your own religion.• ask for what you want (realising that the other person has the right to say `no').• acquire knowledge.• say `No' without feeling guilty.

You have the right to do anything so long as it does not violate the rights of others.

Barriers to Assertiveness

There are three significant barriers to self assertiveness:1. Many people do not believe that they have

right to be assertive.2. Many people are highly anxious/fearful about

being assertive.3. Many people lack the social skills for effective

self expression.

Assertive Behaviour- Personal feelings.

Assertive- Win/WinThe aim of assertive behaviour is to communicate productively with another person, achieving what is often described as a win/win situation.

This involves standing up for your own rights without violating those of others. To achieve this you need to express your needs, wants, opinions beliefs in a direct honest and adult way.

I’d like to tackle the task in this way. How does that affect you?

I understand what you are saying, however, I have to go. Can we deal with this in the morning please?

Assertive- Win/LoseThe aim of aggressive behaviour is to win, if necessary at the expense of others. To achieve this, you stand up for your rights in such a way you violate the rights of others. It involves expressing your needs, wants opinions beliefs and feelings inappropriately.

Do it this way!

Surely you don’t believe that?

That’s stupid!

I don’t agree with you.

It’s a load of rubbish. Typical of senior management.

Submissive(passive) –Lose/WinThe aim of submissive behaviour is to avoid perceived conflict and to please others. This involves failing to stand up for your rights or doing so in such a way that others feel they can disregard them. Your needs wants opinions beliefs and feelings are expressed in an apologetic . Tentative self-effacing or even dishonest ways.

Sorry to take up your valuable time but I’ve got a little problem I need some help on.

It is only my opinion but I don’t think

you are entirely right.

Yes Head, I will do that right away.

If you say so we will have the meeting after school.

Being PassiveMany people adopt a passive response because they have a strong need to be liked by others. Such people do not regard themselves as equals because they place greater weight on the rights, wishes and feelings of others. Being passive results in failure to communicate thoughts or feelings and results in people doing things they really do not want to do in the hope that they might please others. This also means that they allow others to take responsibility, to lead and make decisions for them.

A classic passive response is offered by those who say 'yes' to requests when they actually want to say 'no'. By responding passively, individuals are more inclined to portray themselves in a negative light or put themselves down and, as a result, may actually come to feel inferior to others.

Being Passive

You may find that you respond passively, aggressively or assertively when you are communicating in different situations. It is important to remember that any interaction is always a two-way process and therefore your reactions may differ, depending upon your relationship with the other person in the communication.

Passive responding can encourage treatment that reinforces a passive role. While the underlying causes of passive responding are often poor self-confidence and self-esteem, passive responding itself can serve to yet further reduce feelings of self-worth.

JKL Theatre

School based scenarios and

discussion

The Advantages of Assertive Behaviour

The use of aggressive behaviours, may get a person what they want in the short term, but at the expense of any goodwill in their relationships. On the other hand, passive behaviour can also cause damage to relationships, because personal needs and feelings are ignored in favour of “keeping the peace”. Frustration results.The advantages of developing more assertive behaviour and learning to communicate assertively with others include…..i. your needs, wants and feelings are more likely understood by othersii. nobody's feelings are intentionally hurt, and both parties feel respected and

heardiii. the relationship can potentially be strengthened by the honest exchange of

concernsiv. you feel more in control of your own life and hence, your self-esteem is

enhanced.

Assertiveness Is About Keeping Your Cool

If you find yourself in a discussion that has become heated, assertive steps could include….1. Tell the person you'll continue discussing the subject, but at another time, andwalk away.2. If you decide to stick it out - remain calm, steer the conversation back to theissue in dispute.3. Try to understand the other person's point of view.4. Appreciate there may be other pressures impacting upon the behaviour of theother person.5. Don't take heat-of-the-moment criticisms from the other person to heart.6. Exercise self-control - just because you may think something, that doesn’t mean you have to say it. So weigh up your words and the situation carefully before you open your mouth7. Show the other person you are willing to search for a fair outcome – one thatworks for you both8. Afterwards, try and learn from the experience and try to think up better ways to deal with it The essence of assertiveness is being able to honestly explain your case or concern to another, without causing them to get defensive. The secret to success is in explaining how it is for you - rather than trying to blame or manipulate the other person.Being assertive means communicating with others in a direct and honest manner – finding the right balance between respect for self and respect for the other person. It is a communication style that is more likely to lead to long-lasting and rewarding relationships based upon mutual esteem.

Being Assertive

• Assertive behaviour includes:• Being open in expressing wishes, thoughts and feelings and

encouraging others to do likewise.• Listening to the views of others and responding appropriately,

whether in agreement with these views or not. • Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to others. • Regularly expressing appreciation of others for what they have

done or are doing.• Being able to admit to mistakes and apologise.• Maintaining self-control.• Behaving as an equal to others.

Support available

Check the Association website for CPD courses.

ACTION PLANNING

Keith OldBalby Carr Community Sports and Science Collegek.old@balbycarr.org.uk08453451629 ext 339