at the cliffs

7/30/2019 At the Cliffs

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Chapter 1: Cliffs

I steadied myself at the edge of the cliff, ready to take the plunge into the swirling icy water

below, when suddenly, a hand shot out and grabbed my arm to pull me back. I stumbled

backwards and found myself pressed up against a very warm and very bare chest.

Jake! You scared me! I said, but my voice was muffled as my face was plastered against his

burning hot skin. For a moment, our sudden closeness left us both paralyzed. I had seen himshirtless countless times before and I was used to touching him too holding his large capable

hands when I needed reassurance or snuggling into his welcoming embrace when I needed

comfort - but never this way, with every inch of my body pressed up against him in a way thathad nothing to do with comfort. I couldnt stop my hand from pressing slightly into his chest,

marveling at the contrast between the warm velvety skin and rock hard muscle underneath.

Jake shuddered at my touch. Then he sighed as he placed his hands on my arms and set me an

arms length away from him. His face was grim as he stooped down to look me directly in the

eye.

Bells, please tell me you werent thinking of doing what I thought you were doing just now, he

said. His voice was gentle but firm, just like his grip on my shoulders.

I My voice trailed off under his stern gaze. Suddenly, it all seemed so stupid. So careless.

So unlike me. What had I been thinking?

Its suicide to cliff-dive alone and during a storm, you know that right? Jacobs handstightened around my arms, refusing to let me escape his gaze.

I stared back into his intense brown eyes so dark brown that they were almost black fascinated by the light golden brown flecks that formed the inner rim of his iris. I had never

noticed them before. His gaze never faltered despite my stare and suddenly, I had to look away.

My eyes swept downward, taking in the familiar angular planes of his face in an attempt to avoidhis piercing gaze. He had always been able to read me like a book. I could never hide anything

from his all-knowing eyes.

Jake finally squeezed my arms gently to prod me to respond.

You said you would take me, but you were late so I just thought I said feebly, the wordssounding lame even to my own ears.

He let out a loud sigh. Yes, I said I would take you. But not on a day like this. His mouth was

set in a grim line as he tilted his head slightly to look over me at the menacing clouds rolling in

across the ocean. A storm is coming in. A bad one. See the way the waves are hitting against the

cliffs? Look.

I reluctantly turned to look where he was pointing. I shivered as I watched the icy black waterpummeling the rocky cliffs, the hard clapping sound of their contact almost drowning out


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everything else. That could have been me, being thrown helplessly against the gray shale rocks,

if Jacob hadnt stopped me just in time. Suddenly, the enormity of what I had been about to dorushed through me like hot air deflating from a balloon. I collapsed against Jacobs warm chest

and began to cry.

Before I realized what had happened, I was sitting in Jacobs lap, sobbing wetly against his neck.His arms held me tenderly but loosely not enough to be confining but just enough to becomforting. And I cried. As I hadnt cried since that first night that he left. I had been too numb

to cry for a long time. Pretending that I was okay. Pretending that I was over it. Pretending that

my life could move on. All of the pain from the past few months rushed out of me in an

avalanche of tears.

Finally, as my tears drained themselves dry, leaving me a red-nosed hiccupping mess, I noticed

that Jacob had carried me over to a fallen tree log, where he was sitting with me in his arms as ifI were a child. I continued to sit there, too comfortable to move, when Jacob whispered my name

hoarsely, Bella.

Yes I replied, not bothering to turn my head to look up. I knew he was staring at me, but I

couldnt bring myself to meet his honest gaze. Not right now.

Please tell me his voice cracked suddenly. I felt him swallow deeply before continuing.

You werent thinking of killing yourself just now ... were you?

No, no! I almost jumped out of his arms in response. No! I insisted adamantly, but then I

found myself unable to continue. What could I say? It was true. I hadnt been thinking aboutkilling myself. I hadnt been thinking about anything except hearing his voice again. But the

consequences of my behavior never registered in my head. In some ways, I had been so reckless

that I might as well have been trying to kill myself.

Suddenly, I felt Jacobs too warm hands on my face, turning my head to meet his gaze. His eyes

were intensely focused on mine.

Bella. What were you thinking?! How could you?! He demanded, his anger evident but tightly

leashed. He never let go of my face and I could feel his hands burning up as his anger gave wayto fear. Do you know what that would do to people CharlieRenee ... His voice cracked as

he finished with a hoarse whisper.To me?

Im sorry I mumbled as tears ran down my face. I just wasnt thinking I just wanted to

hear him again

Hear him? Jakes voice was calm, but I could tell by the way the tendons in his neck pulsed

that he was holding himself tightly in check.

Burying my face in his neck, I refused to answer. I was angry at myself for letting the secret that

I had been carrying inside me for so long slip out. But I also felt relieved too. It was like I wasfinally able to put down a heavy burden that I had been carrying on my shoulders for so long.


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Tell me. After everything weve been through He pressed on as he buried his face in my

hair. Surely, I deserve the truth

I couldnt deny him that. Jacob has saved me, in every way it was possible to be saved. He hadput me together again, piece by piece, emotionally after he left. And I was beginning to lose

count of the number of times he had saved me physically. Today was just one more to add to mytab.

I wanted to hear Edwards " I choked slightly as I said his name aloud for the first time in

months. I felt Jacobs arms tighten too at the sound of his name. -his voice. My voice wasmuffled into his neck now as the words tumbled out. When he left, he took everything with him

that would remind me of him. It was as if he never existed. And I found that by doing

dangerous things I was able to see him again and hear his voice again.

So you did crazy reckless things so you could hallucinate that he was near you, Jacob

whispered, neatly summing up the past few months of my life. His voice was soft, but I could

feel his entire body quivering with anger.

I looked up at him. Jake had a pretty firm leash on his temper most of the time, much better thanthe other wolves, but I knew that I could always count on my craziness to push the edges of his

control. Jacobs lips were pressed together and his forehead was smooth, but I wasnt fooled. I

could tell he was barely holding it together by the way he wouldnt meet my eyes.

Stupid, huh? I muttered softly as I tentatively reached my hand up to touch Jacobs cheek.

He grabbed my hand before I could touch him and held it in his for a few moments. Then he

abruptly put me on my feet as he got up and strode away from me. I could see his entire body

shaking though I couldnt tell if it was from anger or his exertion in controlling his anger. For asecond, I thought I could almost see the lines around his body blurring. I started to back away.

Then suddenly, it stopped. Jake took a few deep breaths and his shoulders relaxed. I walked over

to his side and we both stared out at the ocean for a long time without speaking before he finallysighed.

So I guess I see why you wanted to hang out with me so much then, he said softly. And thenhis tone changed, into a mocking, biting, sardonic tone that I hated hearing from him. Good old

dumb Jacob. He'll let you do whatever crazy stupid thing you want to do. Heck. Hell even help

you do them!

No! No! I cried out as I tugged at his arm to try to get him to face me. It wasnt like that! Iswear it wasnt.

He chuckled bitterly before turning to look at me. Seeing the naked pain in his eyes was like asucker-punch to the gut. I had never seen Jake like this. And to know that I was the one who had

done it to him made my skin crawl.


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You dont have to lie to me, Bella. Its okay. I understand. Jake quirked his lip in a rueful

smile. I always understand.

No, no, youve got it wrong, Jake. I swear. It was like that at first maybe. I found thebikes and wanted to fix them up so that I could ride them, which is why I thought of you. Thats

true. I completely admit it. But then we started hanging out and you I stuttered,looking at him helplessly, unable to find the words that I wanted to say. Seeing the doubtful anddefiant expression on his face forced me on. You were like this safe harbor for me. I couldnt

help but want to be around you. I needed to hang out with you because you made me happy

again. You made me whole again-

-Bella-

-No, no. I need to say this. Im sorry. Im so sorry. I know that Ive used you. And youve been

amazing. Im sorry that I couldnt that we I just need some time, Jake. Im so sorry.

Bells. Its okay, he smiled softly. He tipped his finger under my chin and lifted it up. Im stillhere. And well work things out. But then his eyes darkened. But you never answered my

original question what were you thinking with your crazy stunts? Didn't you think of theimpact it would have had on Charlie or me if you had gotten hurt? Or if you had died?

I looked at him and shrugged. I had no defense.

Because let me tell you something, he continued on angrily. The Bella that I know wouldn'tdo that. The Bella I know is the most incredibly caring and thoughtful person that I know. Shes

the one who would move to Forks even though it made her unhappy so that her mother could

be happy. She's the one who would watch baseball with her dad for hours on end even though

she hates baseball because it made her father happy. But let me tell you that now, Imwondering whether the Bella that I know still even exists.

I stared at him, stung by his angry accusations. Jake, that's not fair...

No, it is, Jake's eyes bore into me. The intense gaze would have been frightening, if it wasn'ttempered by the love and affection that I knew was buried deep in his eyes. I need to say this.

I've stood by patiently and watched you alternate between the person I know you are and the

person you become whenever you think of him. This empty broken shell of a person that isunable to function. Unable to think of anything or anyone but him forget about me or Charlie

or Renee what about yourself? Who are you? You act as if you don't exist without him. But

that is not you. Don't let it become you. You are so much more than what he has made you.

My eyes began to smart even though I could have sworn ten minutes ago that I had entirely cried

myself out. But these were now tears of shame. Jake's honest words seemed to have woken meout of a trance that I had been in for months. I saw the faces of the Charlie, Renee, Phil, Jake

all of whom I loved and cared about deeply but had been nothing more than shadow puppets in

the back of my mind in a mind that was taken over entirely by him. Who had I become? Jake


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was right. I didn't even know if I recognized myself anymore. I opened my mouth to respond, but

nothing came out. Hot tears of shame and frustration spilled out of my eyes instead.

Sh*t. I didn't mean to make you cry! Jake cursed as he pushed his hands through his hair infrustration. I'm being a jerk, aren't I?

No no, you're right. I've been one of those girls that falls apart when a guy dumps her. The typeof girl I would have made fun of before this, I acknowledged. It's just he I we ...

You don't have to tell me, Jake muttered morphing immediately from intense angry werewolfto awkward confused boy at the sight of my tears.

No no, it's just that it was an intense relationship. My first one too, I admitted with shrug. So

I'm trying to figure it out. Please don't give up on me, Jake.

Never, he said as he pulled me into his arms tightly. Too tightly in fact. He was crushing me in

his embrace as he ground out, Please don't do that to me again either. I don't know if I couldtake it a second time. For a moment there, I thought I wouldn't get to you in time ... I felt hiswhole body shaking in response.

I promise, I whispered. 'I'll try harder.

We'll both try harder, he amended as he let me go. I nodded in agreement and then we bothturned and slowly headed back towards the trail to avoid the incoming storm.

Chapter 2: Mourning

When we returned to Jacob's house, we knew immediately that something was wrong. Charlie'scruiser was parked haphazardly in the driveway, as if he had arrived in a rush, and the driver's

side door was hanging open. The front door to the house was also open and we could hearcommotion as Charlie helped Billy maneuver his wheelchair out onto the porch. Their faces were

grim and drawn.

What's going on? Jake asked, speeding up so he could circle around the car to help Billy get

into the passenger seat.

Harry just had a heart attack. He's at Forks Hospital, Charlie replied as he waved at us to get

into the backseat of the cruiser. Jake and I hopped in and Charlie took off quickly, turning on his

cop-car lights, not that he really needed it. Traffic was never exactly an issue in either La Push orForks.

How bad is it? I asked. We all knew Sue, Harry's wife who was a registered nurse, had been

trying to get Harry on a low-fat low-cholesterol diet for years with little success.


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It's not good. We got the call from Sue to come by ASAP. The doctors don't think he's going to

make it, Billy trailed off, his normally steady baritone voice was almost unrecognizable fromthe strain.

I felt my jaw drop. I turned to look at Charlie who was staring straight ahead at the road. His face

was impassive, but I could see that he was clutching the steering wheel so tightly that hisknuckles were white and the rest of his hands were an ugly mottled purple.

Harry, Billy, and Charlie had been best friends for most of their lives. Harry was at our house at

least once a week to watch a baseball game or to go fishing with Charlie. I couldn't imagine whatthis would mean for my dad. We rode the rest of the way to Forks in silence. Jake and I looked at

each other occasionally. We didn't say anything but I knew that we were both worried about the

same thing.

We didn't get there in time. When we arrived, we saw Sue, and her two children, Leah and Seth,

sobbing silently in each other's arms in the hallway. I felt my eyes begin to smart with tears as I

witnessed their loss. I felt my hand slip unconsciously into Charlie's and he squeezed itgratefully. I turned to give him a hug, but he waved me away, clearly not ready to mourn yet. His

eyes were glassy with unshed tears, but his expression was vacant, shell-shocked, as if he werestill processing the news.

The sight of Charlies pain broke my heart and for the second time that day, I realized howcallously I had been behaving for the past few months. Jake was right. I hadn't been thinking

clearly about how my reckless antics would impact the people that I loved the most.

For the first time, I saw the glints of gray that flecked Charlie's temples, which was striking in its

contrast against his dark brown hair which I had inherited. I saw the deep weary bags under his

eyes, the grayish pallor of his skin, and the lines across his otherwise youthful face none ofwhich had been there a few months ago. It was evidence to how much strain and stress I had put

on him in the past few months.

I felt my tears begin to flow then. I was crying as much for Charlie and for myself, as I was for

Harry. It was like waking up from a dream and finding that the world had changed, but not for

the better.

The next week passed in a blur. The funeral itself was ghastly. Watching your parents who you

once thought of as superhero strong and infallible break down helplessly was a terrible thing.And watching Harry's family in their grief was just as terrible.

I stopped by Sue's house one afternoon with some casseroles and other easy-to-heat meals that I

had prepared for their freezer. When I walked up to the back door, I could see Sue in the kitchen

sitting alone sobbing at the kitchen table. Unabandoned reckless sobbing. The kind you do

when you think no one is around to see your pain. The kind you do when you think you havenothing left to live for. I was quite familiar with that type of sobbing.


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And yet, somehow, it struck me now as strange and silly almost that I had mourned my six-

month relationship with him the same way that Sue mourned the death of her husband of almost25 years. It surprised me that I could think this way now a little more logically, a little more

rationally about him. I never would have thought that a few weeks ago. And yet, here I was.

Not surprisingly, Jake was everyone's rock throughout the difficult time helping Billy and Suewith the funeral arrangements, being an older brother to Seth in his grief, and running doublepatrols to protect me from Victoria who was still on the loose and trying to hunt me down. Jake

was so good at being everyones shoulder to lean on and if anyone were to mention it to him, he

would have brushed it off matter-of-factly.

A week or so after the funeral, I found myself unable to sleep. I tiptoed out of my room to look

out of the hallway window, which faced the backyard and had a good view of the forest behind

the house. I knew that Jake was out there somewhere in wolf form as he was any night whenhe didnt run patrol. And I desperately wanted to talk to him. To feel his solid dependable

presence next to me. To have him make me laugh by cracking the perfect joke to get me to relax.

And most of all, to get reassurance that everything was going to be alright.

It had been a tough day with Charlie. Even though he was handling the grief well outwardly burying himself in work and spending most of his free time helping Sue get her affairs in order

I knew that the grief was eating him up on the inside. On the rare night that he was home, I

would look in on him from the dining room table where I did my homework most nights only

to find him sitting in the living room staring blankly at the baseball screen, watching the gamefor hours but seeing nothing.

On a whim, I grabbed my hoodie from my room and tiptoed down the stairs, agonizing everytime the steps creaked that I would wake up Charlie who was sleeping poorly these days. I

slipped out the back door and crossed the porch quickly. It was a beautiful spring night, briskwithout it being cold, with skies clear enough to see every star in the Western Hemisphere.

I reached the edge of the backyard and was surprised that Jake hadn't come to meet me already.With his supersonic hearing as a wolf, he could usually hear me coming from miles away. I

stood there awkwardly, playing with the strings on my hoodie, before I finally whispered loudly,

Jake, are you there?!

I stood and waited, but nothing. Jake? I whispered again, a little louder this time.

A few more moments passed and I was about to give up when finally, I heard some rustling in

the dense wooded area about 20 yards in front of me. The air seemed to shimmer just then,

blurring my vision, which wasn't that good at night to begin with. There was a few more minutesof rustling then, louder this time. I blushed as I tried not to think about Jake putting on clothes.

He had explained to me once that when the pack shifted in and out of wolf form, they did it in

the nude, which was why they always had to carry their shorts with them tied to a black cord ontheir right ankle. I was feeling my cheeks grow warm when he finally appeared, stepping out

from behind a tree.


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Jake was wearing cutoffs his usual uniform these days and he was barefoot. He waved as he

approached me. He had grown into his height in the past few months, bulking up in a way thatjust seemed unfathomable if I hadn't seen it happen before my very eyes but he was still light on

his feet, making no noise as he approached me. When he got closer, I saw that he looked

uncharacteristically grim, the planes of his jaw were tight and his brow was furrowed. Feeling

bad that I had probably interrupted him from something important, I motioned for him to go backas I whispered, It's okay! You can go back. It was nothing!

He shook his head and motioned for me to come meet him half-way, so I turned to make sure

Charlie's light was still off, before I tiptoed my way into the forest. No need to give Charlie a

heart-attack at the sight of Jacob half-dressed meeting me in the middle of the night. Jake cameforward to give me a helping hand his large warm hand closing over mine and he pulled me

easily through the brush where we would be hidden by the trees.

What's up? Is everything okay? he asked finally as we reached a mini-clearing with a mossy

half-overturned tree that was the perfect height for sitting. He gestured to it but I shook my head.

I was feeling too restless to sit.

I'm fine, but what's up with you? You look worried, I asked, reaching out to smooth the linesthat were furrowed across his brow. He chuckled and swatted my hand away lightly.

Same old, same old. Still can't find any sign of her. Jake sighed as he slumped down on themossy overturned tree. Sam is convinced that she's given up, but I'm not so sure.

No scent? Not even on the beach?

Nothing. Not a peep. Jake thumped the tree stump with his fist in frustration. I know she's out

there. She's not the type to give up. She's trying to figure out a way around us, but I can't figureout what the heck it is.

Sam doesn't agree?

Sam agrees that she's not to be underestimated, but he's had other things on his mind recently ...we've uh ... Jake's face faltered as his lips quirked up in a grim smile. We've had a new

addition to the pack recently. Ten bucks says you can guess who it is.

Quil? That was no surprise. Jake had told me a few weeks ago that he thought Quil was close

to changing. It was pretty obvious that this was a tough issue for him. As much as the pack

needed more help, Jake wouldn't have wished this fate onto anyone.

Yeah, he snorted. The guy is thrilled. Thinks it's the best damn thing that has ever happened

to him. Stupid idiot. The sound of an angry yelp came just then from deeper within the forest. Iswiveled my head in the direction of the noise, but Jake didn't budge. That's him. I'm teaching

him to run patrol so he was with me out in the woods. I forbid him to come out to see you, but he

can hear us. He was never that good at controlling his temper and now its just worse.


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The angry yelp had turned into a plaintive whine now. Jake just rolled his eyes. I laughed before

I could help myself. I'm surprised he's actually listening to you, I remarked knowing the testy but affectionate friendship between the two guys.

He has to, Jake admitted sheepishly. I'm the pack's Beta. Second in command after Sam. So

he has to do what I say.

I heard Quil give a disgusted snort which as a wolf came out as a weird howling sound. I

laughed again and I could almost feel him laughing with me. If I squinted hard enough in the

distance, I could almost make out his dark shape hidden in the trees just out of sight.

I'm surprised you haven't abused your power over him, I teased giving Jake a nudge in the ribs

to try to get him to lighten up.

He chuckled. Oh, I will. I will. I'm making him stand guard outside your house every night forthe next month.

That's hardly fair to him.

Don't feel too bad for him. He's thrilled by all of this. It's good that one of us is at least enjoying

the wolf thing. Jake sighed deeply. I could see the strain of the past few weeks etched plainly onhis face in the moonlight. Normally, he hid it so well trying so hard to always be there for

everyone - but now, in the middle of the night, the mask was slipping and he looked exhausted.

His normally sharp eyes were blurring over from the lack of sleep. I felt the sudden urge to tuckhim into bed and watch him as he slept and finally got the rest he so richly deserved.

God, I was so confused. I didn't know what the heck I wanted to do about my best friend. I loved

him deeply as a friend. Of that, I was a 100% sure. But did I love love him? I didn't know. I hadonly loved one person before and it had ended traumatically. I didn't know if I could risk it again.

Especially not with my best friend. The one person who understood me enough to wait patientlyin the shadows while I figured myself out.

I'm sorry, Jake, I whispered as I reached out to tenderly stroke his cheek. He turned his faceinto my hand and smiled in apology.

No, I'm sorry, Bells. I'm tired and cranky and I'm taking it out on you.

It's okay.

No it's not, he replied as he stood up and shook himself awake. He turned to me with a smile

again. You should get some sleep. Don't worry. He jerked his thumb back towards the forest.Quil will be out here all night, so you can relax. Victoria wont get through him. Get some

sleep.

Thanks Quil, I said in the direction of the woods. I got a short howl in response. I laughed

softly.


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Jake patted my hand as we headed back towards my house. And then he watched me from the

trees as I crossed the backyard and slipped into the house.

Chapter 3: Deja Vu

The rest of the spring passed by quickly. I was buried under an avalanche of schoolwork as weheaded into the last month of the school year and I had a ton of catch-up work to do around

applying to colleges. I sent out a bunch of late applications to local schools University ofWashington, Washington State hoping that my good grades and test scores would make up for

my late entry.

Not that I knew what I wanted to do with myself once I got there, but it just seemed like a logical

next step. And after spending half a year unable to see beyond the end of each day, it was nice to

be planning for the future again. It was like exercising a muscle that had long atrophied. I was anorganizer and a planner by nature I had to be given that my mother was Renee so it was

soothing to click back into that role.

Everyone at school was excited about our imminent graduation. Making arrangements for prom,

buying a graduation dress, and planning a summer graduation trip in that order was all that

Jessica and Lauren could talk about at lunch these days. I was tacitly allowed to resume my seatat the lunch table after my many months of self-imposed exile. But the lunch table was clearly

divided between those who were happy to welcome me back Mike, Angela, Ben, Eric and

those who were less so Lauren and Jessica.

I was surprised a bit by Jessica's thinly veiled animosity towards me, but it was just as well. I

preferred Angela's company any way. I had been so focused on losing him the past few months,that it wasnt until now that I realized that I also missed Alice too. I missed having a girl-friend

to hang out with. And Angela was an easy - if not perfect replacement. She welcomed me backwith open arms, she was patient with my quirks, and most of all, she was understanding of myreluctance to talk about anything that had to do with the Cullens.

I went to her house one afternoon the first time in many months - so I could help her hand-address her graduation announcements. Angela's mom was a bustling energetic woman whose

shoes always matched her handbag, whose fingernails were always perfectly manicured, and

whose house was done up in coordinated mono-chromatic shades of beige. She was a teacher atthe elementary school, a pillar of the Forks Presbyterian church, and she would have been

entirely intimidating given her OCD nature if she weren't also such a fabulous mother. It was

clear that she doted on Angela, her youngest and only daughter. Spending time with her always

made me want to call Renee when I got home.

We were sprawled out in Angelas kitchen, eating some cookies that were still warm from theoven as we tackled the stack of a hundred plus cards and envelopes. Angela wrote up

personalized messages in each card while I was assigned the task of addressing the

corresponding envelopes. I marveled at how normal I felt at that moment. I could have been anygirl across America who was looking forward to graduating from high school, as opposed to a

girl who had been dumped by a vampire and was in an ambiguous relationship with a werewolf.


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So Angela paused as she expertly flipped open another card to begin the personalization.

We had been chatting away lightly about homework and our upcoming AP exams, but I couldtell that she was restraining herself hard from asking me the question that I knew the others were

curious about but were too shy to ask me themselves. So who do you want to go to prom

with?

Angela looked up at me just then with a twinkle in her gray eyes; eyes which used to be hiddenbehind thick wire-framed glasses before she got contacts last month.

I chuckled softly, not the least bit offended. I knew this conversation would be inevitable when Iagreed to come over to help. I don't know. I dont think I'm even going. Its not really my thing,

you know?

That's cool, she said with a nod as she looked back down at the card. Her easy acceptance took

me by surprise.

That's it?! No interrogation?

Do you want one? I could see her smiling wryly as she carefully signed her name to another

finished card. I'm happy to oblige, though I could also just tell Jessica and let her harp on you

about how this is, she raised her hands to make quotation marks as she mimicked Jessica's

voice, the 'best night of your life' and how you'll 'regret it forever' if you dont go!

We both snickered slightly. I know, I know. You're taking it easy on me.

Seriously, though, you're definitely not going? I was just wondering because my mom wants me

to get a group together to rent a limo, she rolled her eyes as she said that. It did seem sometimes

as if her mom was more excited about Angelas graduation than she was. And if you don't go, Ican just tell her that I couldn't find anyone to share one with me.

I don't know, I'm not really a prom kind of girl.

You went last year, Angela pointed out

Yeah, well that was because of ... my voice trailed off. We had reached the forbidden topic. Inever talked about him if I could help it. I could barely say his name still. I avoided it if I could

help it, not wanting to deal with the gaping hole that still opened up inside me despite all the

outward progress I had been able to make.

Right, Angela said softly, looking down suddenly at the table. She played with the pen in her

hand a little, twirling it between her fingers, before she finally looked up. I know you don't wantto talk about him. I nodded once, not meeting her eyes. So I won't mention it again after this.

But I do think it might be nice for you to go again you know, have a prom experience without

him so that's not the only prom memory you have.

Point taken, I said softly, still not looking up at her. I'll think about it.


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him. I think it's a sign that you're beginning to get over it. It's the next step in the mourning

process.

I nodded, more to assuage Angela's earnest face and entreaty than anything else, but maybe shewas right. In some ways, I felt as if I was thawing out after a long winter of being frozen up

inside, afraid to feel, afraid to think, afraid to live because I didn't know if I could handle thethought of a life without him. And now, I was letting myself open up again. Just a little. But itwas something.

Please think about it. I do think it would be good for you to go. And selfishly, Angelacontinued with a wistful smile, I want you to be there.

Ben will be there, I pointed out.

Yes, but he's a guy. It'll just be Jessica and Lauren and you know how ahem worked upthey get over these things. I'd love for you to come so that I'd have someone to make snarky

comments with.

I laughed, I'll think about it. Really, I will.

My mom's taking me prom dress shopping in Seattle next weekend. Do you want to comealong? Itll be a fun to have you come even if you dont need to buy a dress

Sure, I agreed readily. I had been feeling a bit claustrophobic lately it was the first time in a

long time that I had wanted to do anything but wait around in Forks - so it would be nice to haveget out of town for a day.

I told my mom that we should go to Seattle, since our trip to Port Angeles was such a bust lastyear, Angela commented as she started matching the personalized cards to my addressed

envelopes.

I froze suddenly as I flashbacked to our prom dress shopping trip last spring. I hadn't thoughtabout it or any really any memory that included him - in ages. I hadn't let myself think about it.

It hurt too much. But now the memory flooded through me with the force of a tidal wave.

I closed my eyes as scenes flashed through my head the out-of-the-way bookshop where I had

bought the book on the Quileute legends, the drunk frat guys who had harassed me, the shock

that went through me when his silver volvo skidded to a stop in front of me, that first dinner

together mushroom ravioli and coke at La Bella Italia - and the drive home to Forks where Ilearned what he truly was. It was the night when everything began

Bella? Bella? Angelas voice broke through my trance.

I opened my eyes and looked at her in shock. The flashback had been so vivid, it felt as if I was

there once again, with him in the car. And it was painful being ripped out of that moment. To be

reminded, yet again, that it was just a memory and was no longer my reality.


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But I had survived it. It was possible to think back on all of that and not completely fall apart. A

few months ago, this episode would have put me into another downward spiral followed by myretreat into a state of numbness that was my only defense against having to relive the pain of his

leaving. But this time, the moment passed not easily but it passed. And I wasn't sure what to

make of it other than relief.

Bella, are you okay? Angela asked me again as she grabbed my arm forcefully.

Yes, yes, I'm fine, I assured her as I shook my head in an attempt to clear it. I gestured to the

empty box next to me. I think I'm done with addressing the envelopes.

Okay, Angela said slowly, looking unconvinced. Are you sure?

Yes, I am. I really am, I said as I reached over to grab the stamps. Let's finish up. I glanced

up at the clock on the wall. I need to head home to make dinner for Charlie in half an hour.

Angela opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it just as quickly. I gave her apleading look. She nodded once. We didn't talk about anything of consequence for the rest of thenight and we finished stuffing envelopes shortly after. I said my goodbyes and headed home

through the misting rain.

Chapter 4: Confusion

Charlie was late for dinner that night, which was good because I had a late start in preparing it. I

made a ton of food since I wasn't sure if Jake was swinging by too. He often came by in theevenings with his homework to spend a few hours before he had to run his patrol and since he

was a bottomless pit these days, I always had to be well-stocked if he did show up.

Charlie's arrived just before eight o'clock. I heard the door open and his footsteps as he stomped

into the foyer and pulled off his wet boots and jacket. The misting rain from the afternoon had

turned into a torrential spring downpour. I used to hate the rain but now, I was used to it and Ifound the rhythmic pattering of the rain against the roof soothing.

The table was set and the food was ready to go by the time Charlie toweled himself off and came

into the kitchen. He sniffed appreciatively and gave me a half-hug in greeting as he reached

around me to grab a beer from the fridge.

Good day, Bells? he asked as he flipped off the lid of the bottle and took a long swig.

Yes, I replied as I steered him towards the dining room table. I spent the afternoon with

Angela helping her with her graduation announcements.

Good, good. Glad you got to spend some time with the girls, he replied as he settled himself in.

We passed the dishes around and served ourselves silently. That was the nice thing about

Charlie. He didn't pry. And I never had to explain anything if I didn't want to. We finished eating


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in silence, then we stood up at the same time to begin clearing the plates. We had our routine

down pat.

So Angela's mom is driving her to Seattle next Saturday to go prom-dress shopping. I think I'mgoing to with them, I said as I started sudsing up the dishes.

Prom? Charlie asked with a half-smile, I didnt think you were the prom-type-of-gal.

Im not. Im just going to hang out with them. You know, get some girl time.

Okay, he chuckled. He was about to head out of the kitchen when he suddenly paused and

turned around. Did you say you were going to Seattle?

Yeah, why?

Charlie frowned as he leaned against the doorway, still nursing his beer. There have been a

bunch of murders well both murders and disappearances actually - the past few months inSeattle. I dont know if its a good idea for you to go.

Dad, please. I think I'll be fine with Mrs. Scott. I barely refrained myself from rolling my eyes.It was tough sometimes being the daughter of a cop. Plus, I don't think murderers really hang

out at the mall in broad daylight. I should be safe.

I don't know, Bells, Charlie continued with a frown. He had put his beer down on the

countertop and was now standing with his arms crossed. It was his thinking pose. Its been

happening all over town, even in some of the nice places in the city. Twenty people in the lastmonth or so. They were only able to find a handful of bodies too. The rest just disappeared into

thin air. That's why the police haven't made any progress on cracking the case.

Dad, we'll be fine, I said emphatically as I stacked the cleaned dishes onto the rack that I had

emptied just moments before. We'll have lunch, hit some stores, and come back. Seeing that he

still looked unconvinced, I decided to play my trump card. Do you want to call Angelas momto make yourself feel better about the trip? You can tell her that you don't think it's a good idea

for her to be taking me ...

No, no, Charlie said, quickly back-pedaling. He and every other male in Forks was scared of

Janet Scott. She was a formidable fixture in the community and a force to be reckoned with. I'm

sure it'll be fine. Just promise me that you girls won't go off on your own.

I tried to hide my smile as I patted him on the shoulder. I promise, I said as I turned off the

light and we walked out of the kitchen. Charlie headed to the living room to watch the ball gameand I headed upstairs to find my books so that I could start my homework. But I got sidetracked

when the prom invitation, which I had hastily stuffed in my bag after receiving it in homeroom,

fell out of my backpack and onto the floor. I picked it up and finally read it through mentallymocking the pink ruffly frilly card that had Jessica's name written all over it. She was, no

surprise, one of the chairs of the prom committee.


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June 16th. Three weeks away. I had plenty of time to make a decision, I rationalized to myself.

Not that I was thinking about going. I definitely didn't want to go. As I said to Angela, I was nota prom kind of girl. Even Charlie knew that. And I hated prom last year. Well I didn't totally hate

it, but it was only because of him. So why was I even considering the possibility of going?

Damn Angela for putting all sorts of thoughts into my head about going with Jake. I didn't knowif I was ready for that. I didn't even know if I wanted it. It was too soon. It felt too soon. And yet,prom last year also felt like a million light-years away. I flipped the card over and read the

details again. I was so caught up sorting out my jumbled emotions that I jumped when somebody

spoke over my shoulder.

So, who are you going with?

I swiveled around so quickly that I lost my balance and had to grab the side of my desk to steady

myself. Jake was standing a few feet behind me, grinning widely. I felt myself relax. I hadn't

realized that I had been waiting all evening for him to show up until now.

How did you get in?! I didn't hear you come up the stairs!

He shrugged. I knocked and everything. Charlie said I should just go up, so I did and your door

was open. It's my superhero stealthiness, he added with a teasing wink.

I'm pretty sure that's not a word.

When you're a superhero, you can make words up, he replied, his face was solemn but his eyeswere twinkling. I rolled my eyes and mock-punched him. He expertly side-stepped me and

instead, swiped the prom invite from my other hand. He looked it over quickly before he gave it

back, It's very pink.

Yes, I know, I said with a sigh. What can I say? Girls like pink.

Thank God you don't though, he said as he ruffled my hair and then collapsed on my bed witha loud yawn. He had been up in my room a few times now. Charlie trusted him to be alone up

with me. Which was saying a lot in some ways since Charlie wouldn't trust any other guy to be

in my room alone with me. But in other ways, it didn't say much because everyone trusted Jake.That was just who he was.

But it was strange to see him lying on my bed like that. In the past, he had perched on the edge of

my bed a number of times, but he had sprawled out comfortably like this, his arms behind hishead, his feet sans shoes kicked up. He yawned again and smiled apologetically, Sorry, long

day running patrol. I'm beat.

I was still standing there staring at him. For a moment, it just all felt too much. The last guy no

scratch that the only guy that had ever laid down in my bed had been him. Edward. I forcedmyself to say his name. And the contrast between the two of them couldn't have been any

greater.


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When Edward laid there, he had always held himself slightly rigidly, always in control and

guarded, his arms and legs held tightly in line with the rest of his body. Even when he held me inhis arms, I could always sense that he was keeping a barely perceptible distance between us in

case he ever lost control. He never looked at ease the way Jake did right now, his large body

taking over the entire bed, his arms and legs sprawled out casually and unconsciously. The

countless nights that Edward had spent in my bed, he had always been in control, strategicallywatching and waiting, but never at ease and never as if he belonged. Jake sprawled across my

bed comfortably as if he belonged there and for a starting moment, I thought that maybe he did.

So ... Jake's voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up startled. I felt my face begin to flush as

I realized what I had just been thinking. About Jake. About my best friend. About my hot bestfriend. Because come on, I wasn't blind. I had told Jake once that he was sort-of-beautiful, but

that wasn't quite the word to describe him. Edward had been beautiful with his perfect features,

but Jake was hot. I couldn't think of any other word to describe him. From the chiseled body due to his werewolf duties, I had seen him shirtless so often that I was beginning to forget that

not all guys looked like him to his handsome face with it strong jaw, blunt cheekbones, and

intense eyes there was no doubt that Jake was hot.

And he also currently lying in my bed actually he was taking over my entire bed - with his t-

shirt riding up his stomach, showing off his ripped abs, and his cut-off shorts sitting snugly overhis hips. My cheeks were now burning hot. It's not that I hadn't noticed all of this in the past. I

had, in sort of an indifferent cursory way, the way you noticed that the woman sitting next to you

had blonde hair or that the bus-driver had a funny moustache. But now I noticed. Boy did Inotice. But I didn't know how I felt about it.

I would give everything I own to know what you're thinking right now, Jake said suddenlywith a husky voice. I looked up to see him staring intensely at me, his dark eyes had turned the

deepest coal black, and the look on his face sent shivers down my spine.

My head was awash with confusion and emotion. Just this afternoon with Angela, I had almost

lost it when reliving a memory about Edward. And now, here I was, staring at Jake, with a

million conflicting thoughts running through my head. None of which made sense. None ofwhich I knew what to do with.

We stood there staring at each for a while, before Jake finally looked down. He was laughingsoftly to himself and then stretched himself out lazily, at ease again, before asking, Okay, how

about we go back to my original question. Who are you going to the prom with?

You, if you will ask me, I blurted out before I realized what I was saying. My mouth dropped

open. I couldn't believe I had said that. I didn't know what the hell had gotten into me. I didn't

think it was possible for my face to burn up even more, but it did. My whole face was aflamewith embarrassment and confusion.

Jake tensed slightly at my words, his eyes turning dark again but this time they were alert and

watchful, and he looked at me for a long moment. Then he grinned. I'd be happy to ask, but

technically, it's not my prom. It would take some cojones for me to ask you to your prom, no?


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True, I said, as words continued to just tumble out of my mouth. So will you? You know?

I looked away from him now, too embarrassed to see his response. As friends, I amendedquickly before he got the wrong idea. Not that I knew which was the wrong idea going as

friends or going as more than just friends.

As friends, Jake repeated slowly after me, drawing out each syllable. I nodded mutely, still notlooking at him. Finally, the silence got to me so I tentatively lifted my head to catch his gaze. Hewas still lying there, looking comfortable in my mess of pillows and comforters, and he was

watching me through hooded eyes that were unreadable. Suddenly panicked that he was going to

refuse me, I was racking my brain for some way to try to salvage the situation when he finally

answered matter-of-factly, Of course, I will.

You will? I felt my voice crack with relief that this wasn't going to become a big deal.

Of course. As friends, he teased with a mocking grin as he sat up again. I caught my breath

worried that he was taking this the wrong way, but he waved away my frown. Chillax, Bella. I

understand. Just as friends. But as best friends, right? He looked at me earnestly now, his hairrumpled from lying down. He looked very childlike suddenly. Despite his size, he looked

vulnerable for the first time in a long time.

Of course, I replied with a warm smile. The very best.

Good, he said as he got up and rumpled my hair to match his. We laughed and any

awkwardness in the moment passed. But something had changed between us that night. I just

couldn't put my finger on what it was.

Chapter 5: Disappearance

The last week of classes passed by quickly. I could hardly believe that I was this close to being

done. I had turned in all my final papers and now I only had two final exams to take next week -

calculus and physics - and then I would be done with my high school career. I studied hard allweek and was ready for a break when the weekend rolled around. Angela and her mom who

insisted that I call her Janet- came by to pick me up bright and early on Saturday morning.

They had stopped by the bakery on the way over and the inside of car smelled like my favorite

cafe back in Phoenix, with the smell of warm roasted coffee beans mixed in with the cinnamony

goodness of fresh-baked donuts. The three hour ride passed by quickly as I listened to Angelaand her mom chat away. I couldn't help but think that Renee would have loved to come along. I

resolved to take some pictures to send her. I had never gotten around to filling that scrapbookthat she had gotten me for my birthday. I figured now was as good of a time as any.

When we arrived, we hit Nordstrom first, which was way out of our price range or at least my

price range but Angelas mom said it was good to check out what was stylish before weofficially started our search. After a nice lunch at their cafe, one of the few things I could afford

in the entire store, we made our way to an outlet mall that was located in the middle of nowhere


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down by the ship docks. It was an odd location, but Janet vouched that it was the best place to

find good deals, so we went with it.

We struck out at the first two stores. I was beginning to lose steam. I was never much of ashopper to begin with, but I agreed to hit one more store before calling it a day. The last store,

which was located at the far end of the mall, was surprisingly empty when we arrived given thatit was Saturday afternoon during prime prom dress shopping season. There was just one othergirl who looked to be about 15 or so browsing the racks when we showed up. The cashier

desk was empty and there was no salesperson in sight.

Hmph! Janet frowned as she took in the deserted store. They're not working too hard for our

business, are they?

It's alright, Mom. Let's just look around. They have some nice stuff, Angela said as she

wandered off to the 'tall girl' section. At five foot eleven, which she had clearly inherited from

her mother, Angela towered over me as well as almost everyone else at school, including her

boyfriend, Ben. But she didn't slouch or hunch. She wore her height proudly, her shoulders back,her head held high a reflection, no doubt, of the confidence that Ben had fostered in her over

the past year. I saw her make her way over to some pretty pink Grecian-style dresses that I knewwould be perfect on her.

I, on the other hand, wandered over to the petite section. Surrounded by giants, I was rapidlybeginning to feel inadequate about my perfectly respectable five foot four. I flipped through the

racks half-heartedly, dismissing most of the dresses as too frilly and too girly for me. To be

honest, I wasnt even sure what I was looking for. I still couldnt really believe that I was

actually going to prom. That I had actually asked Jake to go with me. That whole sequence feltlike an out-of-body experience for me.

There was a dress that I almost wanted to get as a joke. It was made out of a bright pepto-bismol

pink shiny fabric with a heart-shaped necklace that was liberally trimmed with matching lace.

The skirt had tiers of more frilly fabric which must be fashionable right now since I saw thestyle on a number of other dresses and it was topped off by a bow right at the waist. It was the

perfect dress to match our prom invite, and Jake would crack up at the sight of me in it.

My eyes widened when I realized what I had been doing. I had been thinking about dressing up

for prom and what Jakes reaction would be. That seemed very unfriend-like behavior to me. Did

this mean that I was interested in being more than just friends? Is that what I wanted? My mindbegan to swirl. I didnt know. I really didnt know. I had no idea what I wanted to do with him.

Suddenly, I wished desperately that things didnt have to change. I wished that we could stay as

we were best friends forever. I wished that I didnt have to be forced to make a decision that

would change things forever.

Because that was really what I was afraid of. What if we changed things and then it didntwork out? Who would help me pick up the pieces this time? How would I be able to survive that

again without the one person I had counted on to always be there for me? With Edward, there

was always a part of me that had never quite believed that he was really meant to be a part of my


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life. I didnt see how he who had everything and could choose anyone could be interested in

me. It had never made sense to me. And so when he left, there was always a part of me that saidI told you so! How could you have thought this was meant to be?

But Jake was different. He was as much a part of my life as I was his. Our families were

connected. Our lives were connected. And if things didnt work out, he would still be a part ofmy life through Charlie. And then, what? With Edward, I had to go to extreme lengths to try tokeep some part of him in my life to still see him, to still hear him, to still know that he existed.

With Jake, I would have to go to extreme lengths to keep him out of my life. I just didnt know if

I could deal with that.

I turned the aisle quickly, lost in my thoughts, and walked smack into the only other girl who

was shopping in the store with us.

Oh, I'm sorry! she exclaimed as she reached out with her right hand to steady herself against

the rack. Her left hand was weighted down by about twenty dresses in a variety of shades and

styles including the pink monstrosity that I had just mentally mocked. She noticed me looking atall of them in awe and she flushed slightly, I'm just really excited about prom. I want to get the

perfect dress.

Oh no, no, I wasn't saying anything, I apologized immediately, hoping that my face hadn't

betrayed my thoughts just then.

The girl smiled prettily in response and I couldn't help but smile back. She was clearly so excited

about prom that it was almost contagious.

What do you think about this? she asked as she nudged a navy blue dress hanging off the end

of the rack. She frowned slightly as she examined it, It doesn't seem dressy enough.

It's the cut and the fit that matter, I said as if I knew what the hell I was talking about. But allthat matters is that you like it, I added anxiously before she thought I was criticizing her.

Well, I really want him to like it, she said matter-of-factly. I mean, I'm just a sophomore and Igot invited to the prom by this senior football player. I'm so excited! I'll probably be the only

sophomore at the prom! My friends are so jealous!

I'm taking a sophomore, too, I added before I realized what I was saying. I flinched. I couldn't

believe that I was just sprouting stuff left and right. It was unlike me to feel so comfortable

sharing stuff with people.

You are!? That's cool... I guess, the girl said, clearly shocked. I guess she wasn't into the whole

cougar thing. I had to laugh. Even though Jake was technically a year younger than me and twograde-levels below me, he didnt feel younger at all. In fact, lately, it felt like he was surpassing

me in maturity daily with all of his responsibilities to the tribe and pack.


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The girl continued to look at me awkwardly, unsure of how to respond. She finally stuck out her

right hand and introduced herself, My name is Bree.

I reached to shake her hand. I'm Bella. And that's my friend, Angela, over there with her mom.

You're lucky you have someone to shop with, Bree said with a wistful smile. My mom camebut went off to do her own shopping and left me to make my own decision. She nudged thenavy blue dress again. It was the perfect color to offset her porcelain skin, gray-green eyes, and

brown hair. I really do like this one, but it's a bit pricey, she sniffed as she bent over to glance

at the price-tag again, as if magically hoping that it would have gone down in price since the lasttime she checked.

Go for it, I encouraged. Just try it on. What do you have to lose?

Seeing that she had no hands left to carry the dress, I picked it up for her with a nod and followedher into the surprisingly cushy dressing room area in the back of the store. There was a circular

skylight that was letting in a few late afternoon rays of sunshine, a sitting area with a blue couch,and three little rooms cordoned off along the back wall. The last room was twice the size of the

others, designed to accommodate a wheelchair, and just beyond that last dressing room, therewas a door to a closet.

The rooms were empty, or at least I thought they were when we entered. Bree dumped her stuffdown in the first dressing room. I was about to hand her the navy blue dress when I saw

something out of the corner of my left eye. A glimpse of sparkling diamonds against an icy white

background.

I started. And then I stared hard at the partially closed door to the third dressing room. I could

have sworn that I saw something there. Not just something but someone.

Bella, what's wrong?

I heard Bree ask but I waved at her with my right hand, which was still holding on to the navy

dress tightly, to hush her. My heart started pounding so hard that I couldnt hear Breescontinued questions beyond the pulsing roar in my ears.

I took a deep breath and took a few steps towards the partially open third dressing room door. I

still couldn't see anything. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply as I took the final step. With my

heart thumping in my ears, I reached out and swatted the door open with a loud bang.

But there was nothing there. Just a white dress that someone had left behind, swinging back and

forth on the rack from being hit by the door when I slammed it open. The dress sequined bodice

was sparkling from the faint rays of sunlight coming through the skylight. I almost keeled over inshock and relief. I didn't know what the heck I had been thinking or what I thought I saw, but

this wasnt it.


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I walked back and handed Bree the dress, the skirt now crumpled from my tight grip. She gave

me a weird look; she obviously thought I was crazy. I made my apologies and took off, wantingto put some distance between me and whatever the heck it was that had just happened.

Angela and her mom were at the far corner of the store. I made a beeline for them as I wasn't in

the mood to shop anymore. Angela looked like she wanted to ask me what was wrong, but shegot distracted when she and her mom got into a heated debate over whether a strapless dress wasappropriate or not.

I settled myself into a chair nearby as I waited for them to finish. My knees still felt weak andmy heart was still pounding in my ears as I tried to take stock of what had just happened. It was

nothing, I told myself, nothing. I didnt see anything. But I knew better than anyone that just

because I didnt see anything, didnt mean that someone wasnt there. I knew what I saw. I didnt

think it was ever possible for me to forget the sight of Edwards sparkling skin in the sunlight.And I wasnt hallucinating this time. I was sure of it. Or was I? It scared me that I couldnt be

sure either way.

Twenty minutes or so passed by before I felt my pulse finally returning to normal. A large

heavy-set woman with stiffly permed brown hair and heavily mascara-ed eyes showed up aroundthen carrying a bunch of shopping bags.

Bree? she called as she looked around the store. She frowned when she saw that we were theonly ones there.

She's in the dressing room, I pointed helpfully. The woman gave me a friendly nod andlumbered over.

Angela and her mom came over to me then, their arms full of dresses for Angela to try on, readyto head to the dressing rooms too. And thats when we heard the woman scream.

Chapter 6: Danger

I burst into the dressing room area, followed closely by Angela and her mom who were weighted

down by all of the dresses that Angela had wanted to try on. Brees mom was standing by thedoor of the first dressing room.

Shes gone! she said, gesturing wildly behind her with one hand, as she frantically pushedsome buttons on her cellphone with the other.

I pushed past her to look in. All of the dresses that Bree had wanted to try on were still hanging

neatly on the rack, except for that pepto-bismol pink dress. An empty hanger, along with the

cutoffs and tank-top that Bree had been wearing, were laid out on the bench, so she must have

been trying it on. Next to her clothes was her dark green purse. Nothing looked disturbed.Nothing was out of place. Except that Bree wasnt there anymore.


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Thats weird. I know we didnt see her leave. Angela muttered as she and her mother put all

of their stuff down on the blue sofa in the waiting area.

Brees purse began to vibrate as the call from her mom came through. I reached over and openedit to find her cell-phone and wallet completely untouched inside. Our faces blanched. It seemed

unlikely that she would have left without her phone, money, or ID.

Our heads turned, almost simultaneously, as we felt a slight breeze waft into the dressing rooms

just then. Thats when we noticed that the door behind the third dressing room was ajar just

slightly there was a faint sliver of light coming through the crack where the door hadnt beencompletely closed. The light coming through clearly illuminated some scuff marks on the shiny

white linoleum floor right in front of the door.

Bella, dont! I heard Angela cry out as she saw me turn, but I ignored her as I walked towards

the door. I didnt care how stupid it was, but I had to know. I could feel the eyes of the other

three women staring so intently as me, that it felt like they were drilling holes into my back. I

was holding my breath. I was pretty sure the others were holding their breaths too. When Ireached the door, I paused just slightly, before slamming it open with a heavy thud.

Fresh air flooded the stale dressing rooms. It wasnt a door to a closet, as I had originally

thought, but a service-entrance that opened up to the back parking lot. I leaned over to look

outside. There was a dark reddish stain on the asphalt in front of me. My stomach lurched. It wasblood. I could tell by the way the rusty salty smell made my head spin.

I motioned weakly to the others, but Angela had already come up behind me. She shrieked whenshe saw the blood over my shoulder. I scanned the parking lot, hoping to catch a clue about what

had happened, but I knew even then that it was pointless. Whoever had done this was long gone.

We were on the far end of the mall, the side that backed right up against the shipping docksalong the bay, and the parking lot was deserted. Not a person in sight. Not a car in sight. It didnt

even look as if the employees parked here. It was early evening now, practically twilight.

Janet took charge, as Brees mom was clearly on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Janet steered

her back to the couch in the dressing room and instructed her to start calling all of Brees friends,

before dispatching me and Angela to find a store manager or a mall security guard immediately.

The store was a madhouse the rest of the afternoon. A bunch of store clerks who all happened

to be out on break at the same time loitered nervously as they folded, refolded, and re-rackedclothes. A harried looking middle-aged man in a bad suit, who was the store manager, paced the

floor as he answered calls from corporate headquarters. Half a dozen or so security guards and

cops were gathered, taking us each in turn to the store managers office to question us aboutBrees disappearance.

I told them everything that I could remember about my two-minute interaction with Bree, exceptfor what happened in the dressing room. What was I going to say? Sir, I think there was a

vampire in the dressing room? Right. Like that would work. I could tell that they were hoping

that I would say something they could use to peg Bree as a teen runaway. The last thing they


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wanted was to add her name to the growing list of serial murder victims, but the pool of blood

outside the service door was pretty damning.

After an hour or so of questioning and turning over all of our contact info, we were allowed to gohome. The three-hour drive back was mostly silent with the three of us lost in our own thoughts.

Bree's disappearance made the 10 pm news that night, which Charlie was watching when I gothome. He was nearly apoplectic when they showed footage of me, Angela, and Janet beingdetained in the store as witnesses.

I tried to calm him down, but without much success. I was afraid that he was going to ground mefor the rest of my life. But I had to admit that I was unnerved by what happened too. One minute

she was there and then the next, she was gone. It was like . I didnt want to finish that thought.

We watched the evening news together silently. Bree marked the 21st case in the last two months

in Seattle. There were 15 murders and 6 victims who had disappeared but were presumed to be

murdered. The first disappearance was a guy named Riley Saunders, a senior at UW and the

starting quarterback of the football team. The TV station kept flashing up his picture. He was theepitome of the clean-cut boy next door, tall and blonde with a winning smile. He had been a

popular guy on campus and the university had put up a substantial reward for any informationthat would help crack the case.

But the others were a motley crew who ranged in age, gender, race, and class. That was whatstumped the police, according to the news reporter, since there was no obvious pattern or

relationship between the victims, except that all of them were upstanding citizens who had no

reason to disappear or run away from their lives.

I didnt feel like sleeping just yet and so I sat up in the living room long after Charlie had gone to

bed. The whole Bree disappearance had shaken me. Mostly because I couldn't shake off thethought that I had seen something in that dressing room. For a moment, I had thought that it was

him. That Edward had come back for me.

But the rational side of me told me that it could just as likely have been another vampire. One

that was significantly less friendly to humans, like Victoria, for example. I knew that the pack

hadnt been able to find any trace of her near Forks in months, but I couldnt understand why shewould have given up so suddenly. Unless she somehow found out that Edward and I well

that I was no longer important enough to kill.

A sharp rap at the window startled me, but I let out a sigh when I saw that it was just Jake

checking in as usual before his night patrol. He waved at me with a cheerful grin and I felt

myself relax, the way I always did, in his presence. I waved back and walked over to the door tolet him in quietly.

The minute the door opened, Jake's face froze - his nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed hegrabbed my arm tightly and yanked me closer to him. What happened? Where have you been?


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Shocked by his reaction, I stammered, I was in Seattle. Dress shopping with Angela and her

mother. I told you that ... He didnt seem to hear me at all. Jake what is it?

His grip grew tighter as he leaned in so that he could better smell my hair. I froze. There wasonly one thing that would cause this type of a reaction in him. I looked up, afraid of what I would

see, but my worst fears were confirmed by the expression on his face.

Vampire ... he ground out. He sniffed again as he continued, It's faint though. You were

probably near one without knowing it. What happened today? he asked, not relinquishing his

tight grip on my arm.

I quietly filled him in on the details. If I thought he had looked angry before, it was nothing to

what he looked like now. Jake had gotten really good at controlling the terrible rage that afflictedall the werewolves, but somehow, this controlled tightly-leashed anger within him seemed far

more deadly to me than the screaming rip-roaring anger that Quil or Paul were known for. My

voice faltered under his intense eyes when I got to the part about the weird dressing room

incident.

When I finished, Jake let go of my arm and pushed past me into the house. Without saying aword, he grabbed the remote to flick on the television. He turned the volume down so we

wouldnt wake Charlie and then flipped through the channels until he found a 24-hour news

station that was covering the Seattle Serial Murder story. We watched for about half an houruntil they moved on to something else, and then Jake turned off the TV.

We sat there in silence for a few more minutes. Jakes head was lowered in thought, his fingerssteepled against his chin. I could see the gears churning, but I didn't know what to make of it.

Finally, I couldn't stand the silence anymore and I nudged his arm. He raised his head and looked

at me expectantly.

So what are you thinking? I asked.

He sighed. Im not sure what to think, except that maybe Sam and I should go check out the

situation in Seattle. We were quiet for a few moments before he asked me, What are you

thinking?

I did a palms-up. Something the news reporter had said was bothering me, but I couldnt figureout what it was. Then, just a suddenly, a thought flashed into my head. Wait a second....

What?

The news report said that Bree was the 21st case in the past few months

Right. Fifteen murders. Plus another six who have disappeared but are presumed dead. All in

the last two months. Presumed to be a serial murderer. Victims unrelated, Jake briefly recapped.


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Don't you think that's odd? For there to be so many bodies that were never found? I said

slowly, a terrible realization dawning over me. Jake sat up tensely as he watched my expressionchange.

What are you saying, Bella? Jake turned and put his arms on my shoulder. Then suddenly, as if

the same terrible thought had just occurred to him too, his grip tightened so hard that I was sure itwould leave bruises. I winced and he let go immediately, but his eyes were harsh in the dimlight. Its not just some vampire killing humans. It could be a vampire His voice trailed off.

creating new vampires, I finished. Thats would explain why bodies havent been found.There are no bodies left theyre theyre

Jake nodded thoughtfully. The violence has been escalating recently. Which would make senseif there are more new vampires in search of blood. Seeing my horrified reaction, he patted me

on the shoulder. Dont worry. Sam and I will go check-it out tomorrow. Figure out whats going

on.

No! I almost shouted. Just the two of you? Its not safe. There were at least 6 disappearances.

And those are just the ones that the police know about.

Were not going to fight them. Just see whats going on, he cut me off matter-of-factly. But he

softened as he continued, Look. Im not stupid. I dont have a death wish. If theyre there. Wellknow. We dont even have to get close, remember? He tapped his nose.

But

Don't worry. I just think we need to find out if our suspicious are correct. Even if they are, Im

not sure theres much we can do. Seattle is far away. He shrugged apologetically. Sams theAlpha and I know what hes going to say. Our job is to protect the tribe. We cant go out trying

to rid the world of vampires. Seeing my horrified face, he amended. Nor would you want usto.

Theyre not all bad I mumbled, knowing that we were venturing into dangerous territorywith this conversation.

We sat in silence for a bit before Jake spoke again, Can I ask you something?

Sure, I replied hesitantly. I knew more or less what he was about to ask me.

How did you how could you stand being so close to one of them? He flicked his hand as he

referred to the Cullens. His voice was low and tense. Weren't you scared that they would ... thatthey could

They're humans. Just like us, I interrupted him.

No, they were humans. Not any more.


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But that doesn't mean they've lost their humanity.

Is that what he told you?

No, but they were good people. Really, Jake. Carlisle is over five hundred years old and he's

never touched a drop of human blood. And despite the fact that you guys call him Dr. Fang, -Jake winced when I said that -hes an amazing doctor. How could he not be a good person?

Point taken, Jake acknowledged. But hes an exception. What about the others? You can't tell

me that they're as clean as he is.

I knew exactly who he was referring to. No, they aren't, I said sadly. But they are trying now.That should be worth something, right?

Jake shrugged, but he looked unconvinced.

They aren't that different than you and the pack really, I said, the words tumbling out before Icould stop them. I saw Jake tense up immediately, his protests ready to spill out, so I continuedquickly. They didn't have a choice. They were all turned against their will. And now they're

trying to do the best that they can.

Jakes brow was knotted with frustration as he tried to find the words to respond. Yes, but

sometimes doing your best isn't enough. He could have lost control at any moment and youwould have been ...

Lunch? I supplied. He rolled his eyes, but chuckled at my lame attempt to lighten the mood. Itook the opportunity to lean into him then, craving the comfort and warmth that I had always

been able to find in his arms. He smiled as he felt my snuggle in. I could feel the deepreverberations in his chest as he finished laughing. There was a long pause before I continued.

Yeah, I guess I could have been. But you could lose it at any moment and the consequenceswould be about the same, right?

Jake's arm around me tightened and he got that weary expression on his face, the one he always

had when confronted with the reality that he could hurt me at any time. He nodded curtly without

saying anything. It was clear that he didn't want to talk about it anymore and so we sat there,comfortable in our shared silence, until I finally fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Chapter 7: Confrontation

The next day, Jake and Sam took off before dawn. Sam wasnt thrilled about going. He thought

that Seattle was too far away for the pack to worry about. In his mind, the packs primary

responsibility was to protect the tribe from vampires who came to the area. The fact thatvampires existed and killed beyond the borders of reservation was just a fact of life, but Jake was

able to convince him that it would be best for the tribe if they at least checked out the situation.


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Paul and Jared were left in charge while they were gone, but Jake insisted that Charlie and I

spend the day at La Push until he and Sam returned. This was easily achieved when Billy calledCharlie to ask if we could come over to help Sue clear out all of Harrys things so that they could

be donated to charity.

We spent the morning packing and boxing. I tried not to worry too much, but I was secretly gladthat Sam was going too. He wouldnt let Jake do anything too rash. I knew it was pointless toworry - if anything happened, the pack here would know instantly because of that mind-

connection that Jake once told me about but I couldnt help it. Even though packing and boxing

kept me physically busy, my mind was an emotional mess.

We finished sorting through all the things shortly after lunchtime. Billy and Charlie kicked back

to watch the baseball game in the Clearwaters living room, while Sue kept them company as she

knit. I didnt know what to do with myself. Neither Seth nor Leah were home. Not that it wouldhave mattered much if they were. Leah was not exactly friendly with me, or with anyone else for

that matter, but Seth was a nice kid. He reminded me a lot of a younger Jake - he had the same

easy-going confidence and good-natured warmth which made it easy to hang out with him.

The sky outside was overcast. It was the perfect afternoon to curl up with a book. I had forgottento bring one with me so Sue suggested that I grab one of Leahs. I headed to the other side of the

house where Leahs room was. I was right in front of her bedroom when the side door at the end

of the hall, which opened to the driveway, opened and Leah tip-toed in silently.

She was barefoot and wearing a pair of ragged denim cut-offs and a faded brown tank-top. I

hadnt seen her since her fathers funeral over two months ago and my jaw almost dropped at

how different she looked now. It wasnt just her outfit, which was a far cry from her usual style,but her face was make-up free and it looked grimy, as if she had been rolling in the dirt. Her

shinning silky black hair, which I had never seen anything but perfectly blown-out, had beencropped short and was frizzing slightly from the humidity.

Her face had changed too it was still model beautiful with the high cheekbones, a delicate nose,and almond-shaped eyes that tilted up slightly at the edges giving her otherwise pixie-ish face an

exotic other-wordly look to it but she had lost the softly rounded features of girlhood and

matured into a stunning woman. All in less than two months.

Leah started when she saw me standing in the hallway. Then she rolled her eyes and gave an

exaggerated sigh before she spoke.

Great. Its you. Just what I need right now.

Stunned and unsure of how to respond, I stood frozen in my spot in the hallway as I watched her

slip past me into her bedroom. The room looked pretty much like my own room bed, dresser,

desk, small closet decorated predominantly in various shades of blue. No pink in sight exceptfor the fragrances and scented body lotions scattered across the top of the dresser. The bottles

looked dusty though, as if Leah hadnt touched them in a while. She started rummaging through


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her drawers, pulling out a pair of skinny jeans and a black graphic t-shirt of some indie rock band

that I wasnt familiar with.

Suddenly, Leah looked up at the door and saw me still hesitating awkwardly in the hallway.What? she snapped at me, her eyes narrowed with annoyance and something else that I

couldnt exactly put my finger on.

Nothing, I stammered, flinching from the waves of hostility that I could feel rolling off of her.

I just wanted to make sure everything was okay

Leah snorted as she gave me a non-too-subtle once-over. I guess lover-boy didnt tell you,

huh?

What? Now it was my turn to snap at her. Hearing Jake described as lover-boy was just weird.

Almost as weird as hearing that he had been keeping something from me.

Shocker, Leah muttered as she shook her head in mock dismay. They pretend to be men, buttheyre just a bunch of overgrown frat boys.

What are you talking about, Leah? Her attitude was rubbing off on me. I didnt know what it

was, but Leah seemed to have the ability to rub everyone the wrong way.

Im talking about the latest addition to the pack, she said with a sardonic smile. Then her facecontorted, taking on a pained defiant expression, as she muttered darkly, The second latest

addition.

What are you talking about, Leah? I asked again as I cast around trying to think of the names

of the other guys around Jakes age that I knew of. I looked down for a moment and thats whenI noticed the black cord that was dangling loosely off of Leahs slim right ankle.

My eyes flew to her face. She met my gaze evenly with a condescending smirk on her face. It

couldnt be.

I took in the ratty cut-offs and tank-top, the female equivalent of Jakes uniform these days, the

closely cropped hair and most damning of all, the faint hazy sheen of energy that seemed toshimmer just above the surface of her skin, lending her lean but well-muscled arms and legs a

glow that no amount of self-tanner could accomplish. I felt my jaw drop.

Yeah, tell me about it, Leah said with another eye-roll as she turned back to fumbling throughher dresser.

But but youre a girl! I finally managed to say.

She cut her eyes to me then. Your point being?


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I didnt know that it happened to girls, thats all, I replied lamely. I mean, its not that I didnt

think that girls were every bit as capable. It was just that the pack was so so macho andtestosteroney (for the lack of a better word) that it just didnt occur to me that it could happen.

Yeah, none of us did either. It was a bit of a nasty surprise, trust me, Leah replied curtly. The

girl clearly had a big chip on her shoulder. She had never been the friendliest person to beginwith - in all the time that I had spent at La Push the past year, we had barely spoken more thanhandful of times but her voice had acquired a new biting sardonic edge to it that automatically

put me on the defensive.

So youre the first girl

First and only. Billy thinks that all the vamps trolling the area caused the gene to trigger in alldescendents of the original pack. Im the only girl lucky enough to qualify. Leah paused then

from fumbling through her drawers to look at me with a thoughtful expression on her face. I

guess I have you to thank for all this, she finally said. My eyes widened. From what I can tell,

youre the one drawing all the vamps here. Otherwise, we wouldnt need a pack this large.

I blanched. She was right. Leah, Im sorry, I stumbled over my words. I didnt mean to hurtyou I didnt know

Yeah yeah, she waved me off as she turned her attention back to her dresser. With a sigh, sheslammed the drawer back in place. She seemed to give up on her search because she started to

pull her tank-top over her head. She looked at me pointedly, Do you mind?

Oh yeah, I muttered as I turned my back to her while she changed. Not having to look her in

the eye gave me some courage to try again. Listen, Leah. I really had no idea. Jake didnt say

anything.

Im not surprised. I dont know who was more freaked out, me or the guys. They never thoughtthat theyd have a girl crashing their little macho pack. And if they did, I was the last girl they

would have wanted. I heard her fumbling around again. Im done, she remarked casually.

What do you mean? I asked as I turned around. Even though she was dressed in her normal

Leah clothes now, she still looked different. She had that look that all the wolves had the

almost arrogant swagger in how they carried themselves - which exuded confidence, strength,and vitality.

Leah gave me a long look before responding. I guess lover-boy does keep his lips zipped aboutsome things, huh?

What are you talking about, Leah? I demanded, feeling my frustration beginning to rise.

She crossed the hall into the bathroom and washed her face before she answered me. Imtalking about how Im Sams ex-girlfriend? The one he dated all throughout high school? The

one he dumped for Emily?


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My face fell. I had forgotten about that. Charlie had mentioned it to me a long ago, but Jake had

never said anything. Plus, Sam and Emily seemed so perfect together that it was hard toremember that Sam might actually have had a past. Suddenly, everything about Leah started to

make more sense.

Leahs lips quirked as she took in my reaction. She started deftly applying some mascara as shecontinued, Not to mention the fact that I can be a bit of a bitch at times.

I almost choked with laughter, but stopped when Leah raised her right eyebrow at me in the

mirror. I know what I am. And I know what Im not. And Im not the kinda girl who wants tobe hanging around her ex-boyfriend forced to hear his every thought and follow his every

command.

There was no mistaking the bitter edge to her voice now. I realized that Leahs chip on the

shoulder was actually a heavy layer of armor. Armor designed to protect her from the pain of

having lost Sam, and now finding herself stuck inside his head and back in his life again. I

swallowed. I could only imagine how tough that would be.

Dont look so sad. Ill deal, Leah commented as she finished her makeup with an appraisinglook at herself in the mirror. Then she flipped off the light and turned to me. But what about

you? What are you planning to do?

What do you mean? I asked, shrinking back now that she was directly facing me again. She cut

such an imposing figure that I forgot that she wasnt actually that much taller than me. But she

was stronger than me, by a lot, there was no mistaking that.

Leah raised her right eyebrow. About lover-boy? What are you going to do about him?

I wish you would stop calling him that, I retorted testily.

Leah chuckled. Feisty, huh? And here I thought you were this timid little mouse. Glad to see

theres some fire in you. Seeing that I still looked confused and annoyed, she gave a big sigh

and leaned against the frame of the bathroom door with her arms crossed. Look. Im tired ofwatching you yank his chain around. Do you want him or not? Make a damn decision. If you

dont want him, cut the boy lose. Its getting old already.

I just stared at her. I couldnt even begin to process a reply to th

at the cliffs

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