bad girls perusal libretto & vocal score

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BAD GIRLSTHE MUSICAL

Book by

MAUREEN CHADWICK & ANN MCMANUS

Music and Lyrics by

KATH GOTTS

Originally directed by Maggie NorrisOrchestrations by Martin Koch

LIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK

Josef Weinberger Limited 12 - 14 Mortimer Street

London W1T 3JJTel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 9616

[email protected] www.josef-weinberger.com



BAD GIRLS – THE MUSICAL

© Copyright 2007 by Maureen Chadwick, Kath Gotts and Ann McManus

All Rights Reserved

PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL

Applications to perform this musical must be made,

BEFORE REHEARSALS COMMENCE, to:

JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED

12 - 14 Mortimer Street

London W1T 3JJ

United Kingdom

Tel: +44 (0)20 7580 2827

Fax: +44 (0)20 7436 9616

www.josef-weinberger.com

December 2008



BAD GIRLS

THE MUSICAL

CAST

THE PRISON OFFICERS

THE NUMBER ONE

Grade: Governing Governor

The Number One likes a quiet life and has always felt that the “old boys network”

is the best way of sorting things out to his satisfaction. The appointment of Helen

Stewart as Wing Governor has been imposed upon him and grudgingly accepted.But it wouldn’t take much briefing against her for him to recommend her swift

removal from Larkhall.

HELEN STEWART Grade: Wing Governor (Grade 5)

As a graduate ‘fast-tracker’, Helen is held in contempt by old hands such as Fenner

and Hollamby who both firmly believe that there is no substitute for experience and“jailcraft”. She’s idealistic and genuinely concerned about the welfare of the inmates

in her care, but good intentions aren’t always enough to win the battle. She soon

realises the old guard doesn’t play fair and if she’s going to beat them she’ll need

friends in low places...

SYLVIA “BODYBAG” HOLLAMBY Grade: Senior Officer

As far as Sylvia is concerned “happiness is door-shaped” and it would make her life

a hell of a lot easier if prisoners were just kept locked in their cells 24/7. She admires

Jim Fenner immensely, and shares his conviction that the Wing Governor job

should have gone to him instead of to Helen Stewart. She is, however, blind to the

full extent of Jim’s misdemeanours with the prisoners, and would be genuinely

shocked if she knew.



JIM FENNER

Grade: Principal Officer

Jim’s a man who likes to run things in prison his own way, rather than by the book,and he’ll use whatever means necessary. He can easily justify his “pastoral” role

with prisoners; the women have come on strong to him, he’s got what they need andhe’s happy to give it to them. So where’s the harm? His unholy alliance with Shell

Dockley keeps him in the picture about what’s happening on the wing as well as

providing some “on the job” recreation.

JUSTIN MATTISON

Grade: Officer (Basic)

Justin is a new junior officer, a fresh young puppy dog who really does want to do

good, and thinks that Helen is absolutely perfect, not only as Wing Governor, but

maybe even something more . . . Bursting with integrity and rather shy, Justin iseasily teased by the older women prisoners in particular. But as he firmly tells

Yvonne, “if you want to screw a screw, you’ve picked the wrong one”.

Other Prison Officers (as required).

THE PRISONERS

NIKKI WADE

Sentence: Life – for killing a policeman who was attempting to rape her girlfriend.

Most of the inmates on G-Wing look up to Nikki. Before her conviction Nikki used

to run a nightclub with her girlfriend. She’s intelligent and street-wise with a strong

sense of natural justice because of the injustice she herself has suffered. She’s no

one’s fool and she easily sees through the likes of corrupt officer Jim Fenner. But

she doesn’t always help her own case by being too quick to fly off the handle.

DENNY BLOOD

Sentence: 7 years – for arson – she burned down her children’s home.

Despite her tough exterior, Denny’s upbringing has left her desperate for love and

attention, making her very easy to manipulate – and that’s something Shell Dockley

is expert at doing. Denny is Shell’s “fixer” and not being the sharpest knife in the

drawer she’s always willing to do Shell’s bidding without question. One day,

however, she’s going to have to find a voice of her own…



SHELL DOCKLEY

Sentence: Life – for the kidnap, torture and eventual murder of the woman who‘stole’ her boyfriend.

Before sentencing Shell to life, the judge presiding over her trial described her as

“evil personified”, a tag she never has a problem living up to. Whether it’s taxinganother inmate for her drugs stash or the intimidation of a weaker prisoner, Shell

displays an equal amount of cunning and ruthlessness to get her own way. She

considers herself Jim Fenner’s right-hand woman and trades on the special

privileges she gets for “services rendered”.

YVONNE ATKINS

Sentence: 4 years – for conspiracy to commit murder – she hired a hitman to bump

off a business rival of her husband, Charlie.

Yvonne’s as tough as nails; a working-class girl made rich through gangland bossCharlie’s criminal gains. She’s intimidating, ruthless and glamorous. When she

arrives at Larkhall she makes a huge impression on the other women and wastes no

time in taking over the Top Dog position from Shell Dockley. She’s also warm and

generous and a force for good against G-Wing’s bullies – officers and inmates alike.

NOREEN BIGGS

Sentence: 3 months – for shoplifting ties from a department store.

Recidivist old-timer Noreen regularly gets itchy fingers in the shops and can’t resist

the thrill of picking up a few treats. As time’s gone on she’s more at home in prisonthan anywhere else and she’s been round the system so many times she knows

exactly how to play it to her advantage. Noreen loves a “bit of bother” and is

always ready to stoke a fight from the sidelines.

CRYSTAL GORDON

Sentence: 12 months – for persistent shoplifting

As a bible-bashing Christian, Crystal often takes a critical view of her fellow

inmates and believes that the prison regime is too soft – especially where drugs are

concerned. She can be self-righteous and totally blind to her own self-

contradictions and often comical as a result. But at heart she’s a kind and caring

person who does believe in standing up for what’s right.

RACHEL HICKS

Sentence: 30 months – for possession (2 ecstacy tablets) with intent to supply.

When Rachel arrives at Larkhall as a first time offender she’s scared and isolated

and distraught about the fact that her baby has been taken into care. She’s got

“victim” written all over her and is easy prey for prison bully Shell Dockley. She



naively trusts Jim Fenner to look after her, but soon discovers that his “special

attention” isn’t quite the sort of protection she had imagined.

THE TWO JULIES

Sentence: 2 years – for theft. Julie Saunders and partner-in-crime Julie Johnston

stole money from clients while working as hotel prostitutes.

The Julies have taken the same name and styled themselves as a sisterly double act.

They’ll always be there for each another and that’s their lifeline for surviving

prison. Both are mums, and it was trying to make ends meet for their children that

drove them into prostitution in the first place. Julie S has a son, David, whose

private education is paid for with the proceeds from her life of crime. They’ve got

hearts of gold and will always help a friend in need.

Other Prisoners, incl. KAT, NATALIE and SPIKE

PLACE

H. M. Prison, Larkhall

TIME

The present

THE STORY

BAD GIRLS – THE MUSICAL takes as its starting point the original core characters

from the first three series of Bad Girls on TV. Set in the fictional HMP Larkhall, it’s

the story of new idealistic Wing Governor Helen Stewart and her battles with the

entrenched old guard of Officer Jim Fenner and his sidekick Sylvia Hollamby. It

also follows the love story that develops between Helen and charismatic inmate

Nikki Wade. Other featured characters include Shell Dockley and her runner Denny

Blood, old-timer Noreen Biggs, The Two Julies and the ultimate Top Dog, King-of-

Gangland’s missus, Yvonne Atkins.

A tragic death on the wing – in which Jim Fenner is implicated – leads to an angry

protest from the women and forces Helen and Nikki to their opposite sides of the

bars. But when it’s clear that Helen stands to lose her job over Jim Fenner’s

misdeeds, the race is on for the women to nail Jim once and for all.



BAND

INSTRUMENTATION

WOODWIND 1 – Flute / Alto Saxophone

WOODWIND 2 – Clarinet in Bb / Soprano Saxophone / Tenor Saxophone

TRUMPET dbl. Flugelhorn

2 KEYBOARDS

BASS

DRUMS dbl. Percussion

[Bell Tree / Tambourine / Crotales / Glockenspiel / Castanets]

SOUND EFFECTS [SFX]

Scene changes, unless music is specifically indicated, should be covered by a non-

naturalistic soundscape of echoing prison sounds – “Locks, Bolts and Bars” – loud

slamming doors, keys in locks, jangling key chains, the metallic scrape of metal

against metal – all amidst the general background hubbub of prison life and

creating a sense of isolation and oppression by a relentless prison machine.



MUSICAL NUMBERS

CT ONE

SCENE TWO

1. I Shouldn’t Be Here (Prisoners)

SCENE THREE

2. Guardian Angel (Shell and Denny)

SCENE FOUR

3. Jailcraft (Jim and Sylvia)

SCENE FIVE

4. One Moment (Nikki)

SCENE SIX

5. Life Of Grime (The Two Julies and Prisoners)

6. The A-List (Yvonne and Prisoners)

SCENE EIGHT

7. The Key (Jim)

SCENE NINE

8. The Way It Is (Company)

8a. Riot Music (Instrumental)

CT TWO

SCENE ONE

9. Freedom Road (Crystal and Chorus)



SCENE TWO

10. The Future Is Bright (Jim, Sylvia and Officers)

10a. The Future Is Bright – Playoff (Instrumental)

SCENE FOUR

11. Sorry (Julie S)

11a. Scene Change (Instrumental)

SCENE SEVEN

12. Every Night (Helen and Nikki)

SCENE EIGHT

13. All Banged Up (Yvonne and The Two Julies)

14. The Baddest And The Best (Nikki, Denny, Justin, Prisoners)

14a. Scene Change (Instrumental)

SCENE NINE

15. First Lady (Jim and Shell)

15a. The Baddest And The Best – Reprise (Shell and Chorus)

SCENE TEN / ELEVEN

16. This Is My Life (Helen, Nikki, Yvonne and Prisoners)

16a. This Is My Life – Optional Playoff (Instrumental)

17. Curtain Call (Yvonne and Prisoners)

18. Playoff (Optional) (Instrumental)



1

BAD GIRLS

THE MUSICAL

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

HMP LARKHALL – Reception. [SFX:

A loud desolate bang echoes across the prison soundscape .]

New prisoner RACHEL HICKS stands with her back to us, in her knickers, being strip-searched by

Senior Officer SYLVIA HOLLAMBY.

SYLVIA Arms out. Lift your bosoms up for me.

(RACHEL complies, shaking with fear and humiliation .)

SYLVIA (cont’d) Have to get the doctor to give you some pills, stop you leaking. Right, now

cover your top half and take your knickers off.

(She hands Rachel a towel. RACHEL is reluctant. SYLVIA rolls her eyes.)

SYLVIA (cont’d) Don’t worry, you haven’t got anything I haven’t seen a thousand times before.

(New Wing Governor HELEN STEWART enters. SYLVIA smarms.)

SYLVIA (cont’d) Morning, Ma’am. (Holds out a file.) Hicks, Rachel. Eighteen months for

possession with intent to supply.

(RACHEL turns, holding the towel to her chest, teary faced.)

RACHEL But I never – it’s a lie!

SYLVIA (to RACHEL) Eh, you, you speak when you’re spoken to.

HELEN (she takes the file, sharp ) Right, I think we’re done here.

SYLVIA But, Ma’am –

HELEN Thank you, Mrs Hollamby.

(SYLVIA exits.)

HELEN (cont’d) Come on, Rachel. I’ll take you through for your medical. You’re on G Wing.

(HELEN leads RACHEL away.)



2

SCENE TWO

HMP LARKHALL – G Wing Landing and Servery.

TANNOY Unlock will now commence.

[SFX: Locks, bolts and bars – the clanking sounds of the prison machineawakening for another day .]

(Welcome to G Wing – the prisoners emerge from their cells to introduce

themselves, featuring: SHELL DOCKLEY, CRYSTAL GORDON, DENNY BLOOD,

JULIE JOHNSTON & JULIE SAUNDERS and NIKKI WADE.)

Music No. 1: “I SHOULDN’T BE HERE”

(PRISONERS)

SHELL Shell Dockley. Lifer. Murder. Well – just a bit of torture, really. Didn’t expect the

dozy twat to go and die on me. Pathetic!

BUT NO-ONE MESSES WITH MY MAN

AND GETS AWAY WITH THEIR FACE INTACT

IT’S AN OBVIOUS FACT

I WAS BOUND TO REACT

THAT DOUBLE D CUP SLAPPER – WAS GONNA GET WHACKED

I SHOULDN’T BE HERE . . .

CRYSTAL Crystal Gordon. Twelve months. Shoplifting. But the good book says the Lord

helps them who helps themselves.

ALL THEM SHOPS GO FLAUNTING THEIR GOODS IN YOUR FACEIT’S ASKING FOR GRIEF, MANIN THE CIRCUMSTANCE OF MY CASE

IT’S MY BELIEF THAT

I WAS DOING IT FOR JESUS

I WAS DOING IT FOR JESUS

LIKE HE DID IN THE TEMPLE STORYFOR THE LORD GOD’S GREATER GLORY

BUT INSTEAD OF CHUCKING IT DOWN OFF THE SHELF

I STUFFED IT IN MY RUCKSACK

AND KEPT IT FOR MYSELF


DENNY Denny Blood. Seven years. Arson. It was a rubbish kids’ home anyway!

I WANTED A LIFE

I WANTED A MUM

THEY SAID IF YOU’RE GOOD, DEN

MAYBE ONE DAY SHE MIGHT COME

SO I WAIT

AND I WAIT

AND I START TO THINK THEY MUST THINK I’M REALLY DUMB

COS SHE WEREN’T NEVER, EVER GONNA COMESO I POURED PETROL ALL ROUND THEIR KITCHEN FLOOR



3

THREW IN A MATCH AND SLAMMED THE DOOR

AND NOW I DON’T WAIT FOR NO ONE ANYMORE

JULIE S Julie Saunders.

JULIE

J Julie Johnston.

JULIE S Two years.

JULIE J Two years.

JULIE S Soliciting.

JULIE J And thieving.

TWO JULIES Together.

THE OLDEST PROFESSION IN THE BOOKCOMBINED

WITH A SIDELINE IN THE WALLETS THAT WE TOOK

JULIE S DON’T YOU FIND THESE DAYS

IT’S ALL FOR THE SCHOOL FEES

AND NOT FOR THE FUN

TWO JULIES YOU HAVE TO PLAN AHEAD NOW

FOR EVERY LITTLE ONE

JULIE S FOR CHOICES PARENTAL

JULIE J DOSH IS FUNDAMENTAL

JULIE S THAT’S HOW MY TROUBLES FIRST BEGUN

JULIE J GONNA GET OUR KIDS BACK ONE DAY . . .

JULIE S BUT I THOUGHT I OWED IT TO MY SON

TWO JULIES I SHOULDN’T BE HERE . . .

NIKKI Nikki Wade. Lifer. ‘Cop-killer’. But, hey, at least that’s one less rapist in theworld.

(NIKKI screws up the letter she has been reading.)

NOBODY’S HERO

SOMEBODY’S FOOL

DON’T GO MISTAKING ME FOR

SOMEBODY WHO’LL –

EVER GIVE A DAMN

FOR WHAT THEY THINK I AM

I SHOULDN’T BE HERE



4

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE . . .

BUT HERE I AM

PRISONERS HERE I AM

HERE I AM

HERE I AMAND ONE THING IS CLEAR

ONE THING IS CLEAR

WHEN I TAKE A GOOD LOOK AROUND ME



I DON’T WANNA BE HERE


THIS ISN’T ME HERE

THIS IS NOT MY LIFE!

GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE!

I HAD PLANS

I HAD DREAMS

MY LIFE IS NOT THE THREE-CAR-WRECK IT SEEMS

I KNOW IT MAY NOT BE MUCH

BUT I WAS SOMEONE

SOMEONE’S SISTER, DAUGHTER, MOTHER

JUST A GIRL LIKE ANY OTHER

SO MAYBE I’M OUT OF TOUCH

BUT STILL I’M SOMEONE

AND WHEN THEY SLAM THAT DOOR EVERY NIGHT

AND I’M ALONE IN MY BED

I ESCAPE WHERE IT’S SAFE OUT OF SIGHT

TO THE WORLD THAT I KEEP IN MY HEAD

THAT’S WHERE I HIDE MYSELF

OUT OF REACH FROM THE SCREWS

TWO JULIES ON A BEACH – WITH OUR KIDS – KICKING SAND FROM OUR SHOES

NIKKI THERE’S A BAR –

CRYSTAL THERE’S A BAR WHERE I’M SINGING THE BLUES

SHELL & DENNY GETTING WASTED ON CHEAP FOREIGN BOOZE

PRISONERS I CAN GO WHERE I CHOOSE . . .

I’VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE . . .

(The prison officers interrupt to herd them off to breakfast, featuring:

Principal Officer JIM FENNER, Senior Officer SYLVIA HOLLAMBY and Junior

Prison Officer JUSTIN MATTISON.)

JIM Right, you lot. Breakfast. Move it!



5

SYLVIA (to the JULIES) You two – serve out the swill. The rest of you – line up at your

trough.

PRISONERS I SHOULDN’T BE HERE

THIS ISN’T ME HERE

THIS IS NOT MY LIFE!

SYLVIA Move it!

PRISONERS GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE!

JIM Shut it!

(Music underscore continues. The women start to move into place for

breakfast . JUSTIN unlocks the main gate to let in HELEN & RACHEL. JIM alerts

SYLVIA, who’s eating a chocolate bar .)

JIM (cont’d) Chocs away, Sylv, here comes little Miss New Broom.

SYLVIA Flaming Nora! Why can’t she stay in her office like any normal Wing

Governor?

JIM (with intent ) One day they’ll pick the right man for the job.

(They snap into uniform mode and present themselves to HELEN.)

JIM (cont’d) Morning, ma’am.

SYLVIA Morning, ma’am.

HELEN We’ve got a new allocation . . .

(The prisoners pay attention .)

HELEN (cont’d) This is Rachel Hicks. First-time Young Offender.

SYLVIA (aside ) Another drug addict come to join us.

JIM Welcome to G Wing, Rachel. I’m Principal Officer Mr Fenner. (Introducing SYLVIA.) You’ve met Senior Officer Mrs Hollamby.

(SYLVIA sneers.)

SYLVIA You lot call me Miss.

KAT No we don’t, we call you Bodybag.

JIM (introducing JUSTIN) And this is Junior Officer Mr Mattison.

JUSTIN Hi. First day’s the worst. Soon get your bearings.



6

(RACHEL is trembling, on the verge of tears . HELEN hands JIM a folder .)

HELEN Here’s her file. Make an appointment with my secretary for her induction.

JIM Don’t have to take up your valuable time, ma’am. Just leave Rachel with me.

(With a patronising smile, he ushers RACHEL away and SYLVIA moves in to

usher HELEN out.)

SYLVIA Here’s the log book, Ma’am.

JIM One more for breakfast, Julies.

TWO JULIES (mechanically ) One coming up, Mr Fenner.

(They fetch another bowl of porridge.)

JIM (to RACHEL) Get yourself fed, I’ll find you a bed.

NIKKI That’s his speciality.

JIM I’ll find you a bed down the block if you don’t shut it, Wade.

(She gives him a world-weary look as he exits to the POs’ office .)

SHELL (to DENNY, re. RACHEL) Like he’d be interested in that little minger.

NIKKI Fresh meat? Better than leftovers.

(SHELL bristles. RACHEL sits down beside CRYSTAL, who erupts.)

CRYSTAL I ain’t sitting next to this low-life. (To SYLVIA / HELEN.) There’s more doing

dealings in here than down King’s Cross.

SYLVIA Oh skip the saint act, Gordon. I don’t remember Jesus saying ‘Blessed are the

shoplifters’.

HELEN ( pushing past her ) Mrs Hollamby! I’ll deal with this.

(SYLVIA exits to the POs’ office.)

RACHEL (to CRYSTAL) You got me wrong. I was only done for two ‘E’s.

CRYSTAL E’s for Evil!

HELEN Right, that’s enough. Nobody’s here to be judged. We’re all of us in this

prison to try and help you get out of it.

SHELL Okay. Me and Den’s up for that, Miss. Give us a key and we’ll be off.



7

HELEN I’m trying to treat you women with respect. Please don’t make me think you

don’t deserve any.

NIKKI Nice idea. Pity you don’t tell it to the screws.

( Jeers. The NUMBER ONE Governing Governor enters. Helen glares at NIKKI and goes to meet the NUMBER ONE.)

NUMBER ONE Miss Stewart – I was expecting to find you in your office.

HELEN It’s got a great desk, sir, but a lousy view of the prison. I prefer a more hands-on

approach.

NUMBER ONE Indeed . . . Well, I came to inform you that your probationary period, though

not without incident, has been deemed a success. Congratulations.

HELEN (shakes his hand ) Thank you, sir. Now I can really hope to make a difference.

NUMBER ONE Helen – just remember – whatever new ideas you’ve got in mind – prison is a

place with two types of people in it: us and them.

(He exits.)

HELEN MAYBE I’M A FOOL TO THINK THAT I COULD DO SOME GOOD

BUT IF I DIDN’T THINK I COULD

I WOULDN’T BE HERE

NOW I HAVE A CHANCE TO REALLY DO THIS MY OWN WAY

I WON’T LET ANYONE SAYI SHOULDN’T BE HERE

(HELEN exits, with determination . SHELL and DENNY sidle up to RACHEL.)

SHELL Don’t worry, Rachel. We’ll help you cope without your drugs, won’t we Den?

DENNY Yeah. (To RACHEL) ’Cos either you give ’em over to Shell, or I’ll smack your

head open!

(She whacks the table with a pool-ball filled sock. They laugh as RACHEL puts

her head in her hands and sobs all the more.)

NIKKI Leave the kid alone, Dockley!

SHELL Why, fancy her yourself?

(Tempers flare .)

CRYSTAL All you sinners is gonna burn.

PRISONERS SAME OLD SHIT

TWENTY FOUR SEVEN



8

JULIES (to RACHEL) WELCOME TO LIFE HERE INSIDE

PRISONERS THIS IS IT

CRYSTAL AND IT SURE ISN’T HEAVEN

NIKKI ALTHOUGH IT FEELS LIKE I’VE DIED

PRISONERS WHEN YOU NEED A HELPING HAND

DON’T EXPECT THEM TO UNDERSTAND

WHAT’S ANOTHER DAY?

ANOTHER WEEK?

ANOTHER YEAR?

WHEN WE SHOULDN’T BE HERE

WE SHOULDN’T BE HERE

WE SHOULDN’T BE HERE

WE SHOULDN’T BE HERE.

(JIM and SYLVIA enter from the office .)

JIM Right then, ladies. Slops and mops. Get ready for work.

SYLVIA Meaning now, not next week. Shift it! Come on . . .

(NOREEN BIGGS (aged 65 going on 100 ) staggers in, fag in mouth.)

SYLVIA (cont’d) What time do you call this, Biggs?

NOREEN I’m on me last legs, Miss. You got to get me to the hospital.

SYLVIA You’ve been on your last flaming legs since I’ve been in uniform.

NOREEN Not that long, Miss . . .

(She breaks into a hacking cough.)

SYLVIA Oh get back to your cell and save your lungs.

(NOREEN gives the fingers behind SYLVIA’S back – and scuttles off.)

SHELL I gotta be excused work too, Miss. Got the decorators in.

SYLVIA Again?

JIM All right, Dockley, take the morning.

(SYLVIA exits.)

SHELL Thank you, sir.

JIM (aside ) Thank me later.



9

(SHELL gives him a smug smile and sashays off. Only RACHEL remains, all

adrift. JIM picks up her bag.)

JIM (cont’d) This way, Rachel. Got you a cell of your own. Nice and private.

(JIM

guides her away to her cell with a paternal arm round .)

[SFX:

The sound of multiple doors slamming as Rachel is lost within the system .]

SCENE THREE

RACHEL’S CELL. RACHEL sits on the bare mattress beside a pile of bedding and her bag of

possessions, hanging her head as JIM shuts the door behind him.

JIM Get your bed made up, put your own things out, soon feel like home, eh?

RACHEL Wish I’d swapped them two ‘E’s for a load of sleeping pills.

JIM Come on, love. It’s not the end of the world, is it?

RACHEL It is! I’ve lost everything now.

(She sobs. JIM finds her a hanky .)

JIM Here. Have a good blow. Take a deep breath. Then tell Uncle Jim what’s the

trouble and see what he can do.

(RACHEL takes his hanky and blows.)

RACHEL It’s Maddie.

(RACHEL shows him a photo.)

RACHEL (cont’d) My baby. I’m still meant to be breast-feeding her. She won’t look at a bottle.

JIM I didn’t know you had a little baby.

RACHEL Yeah, but Social’s got her took into care.

JIM Only till you get out of prison, love. Then they’ll give her back to you, won’tthey?

RACHEL But what if they don’t? I’ll be chucked out my home by then ’cos the Social

stops your rent. They won’t give you back your baby if you haven’t got a

home but Council won’t re-home you unless you’ve got a baby.

JIM Right . . . Have you ever heard of the Brotherhood of Freemasons?

RACHEL No.

JIM Well, I’m going to let you in on a big secret, Rachel. There’s men like me in

every walk of life. Got the power to pull all sorts of strings for each other.



11

DENNY THE GIRL CAN’T TAKE IT

SHELL EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU SAYS YOU’LL NEVER MAKE IT

AND GRASSING TO A SCREW

AIN’T A CLEVER THING TO DO

UNLESS YOU SUIT A CHELSEA SMILESUCH A PRETTY LITTLE THING

I WOULDN’T LINGER IN THE SHOWERS

EVERY LEZZER ON THE WING WILL WANT THEIR GO

DENNY YOU’LL BE STUCK IN THERE FOR HOURS

SHELL THE DAYS ARE LONG AND THE NIGHTS ARE SCARY

DENNY THEM GIRLS ARE STRONG AND SOME QUITE HAIRY

SHELL MOST NIGHTS THE SCREAMING NEVER ENDS

SHELL & DENNY THAT’S WHEN YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU’VE GOT FRIENDS . . .

SHELL AND I’LL BE WATCHING OVER YOU

DENNY WE’LL BE WATCHING YOU

SHELL LIKE A GUARDIAN ANGEL

ANYTIME YOU LOOK BEHIND YOU

DENNY DON’T LOOK NOW

SHELL YOU KNOW I’LL ALWAYS FIND YOU

I’LL KNOW EVERYTHING YOU DO

DENNY EVERYTHING YOU DO

SHELL I’M YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL

NOTHING HAPPENS HERE I DON’T SEE

NOTHING’S SAID THAT WON’T GET BACK TO ME

LUCKY YOU THAT I’M GONNA BE YOUR ANGEL

IT’S A FACT

PRISON IS DEPRESSING

DENNY BETTER JUST ACCEPT IT THERE’S NO POINT IN STRESSING

SHELL THE ONLY WAY TO COPE

INSTEAD OF LOSING HOPE

IS GET COMPLETELY OFF YOUR FACE

NOW I’M A MATE

WHO BELIEVES IN SHARING



12

DENNY PEOPLE DON’T APPRECIATE THAT SHELL’S SO CARING

SHELL A LITTLE BILLY WHIZ

CAN REALLY DO THE BIZ

AND THEN IT’S GONE WITHOUT A TRACE

WHEN YOU’RE CRAWLING UP THE WALLYOU JUST CALL AND I’LL COME FLYING

SHELL & DENNY TAKE YOUR PICK – WE’VE GOT IT ALL

SHELL JUST LET ME KNOW

DENNY WE DO REGULAR SUPPLYING

SHELL HAVE A WRAP

(RACHEL pushes it away.)

DENNY NO ONE’S TOUCHED IT

SHELL EXCEPT PERHAPS THE GIRL WHO CRUTCHED IT

JUST PAY YOUR BILLS AND YOU’LL BE FINE

DENNY Shell, can I have that necklace?

(DENNY eyes up RACHEL’S necklace .)

SHELL Yeah, go on, Den. Help yourself.

AND REMEMBER NOW – WHAT’S YOURS IS MINE . . .

’COS I’LL BE WATCHING OVER YOU

DENNY WE’LL BE WATCHING YOU

SHELL LIKE A GUARDIAN ANGEL

ANYTIME YOU LOOK BEHIND YOU

DENNY DON’T LOOK NOW

SHELL YOU KNOW I’LL ALWAYS FIND YOU

I’LL KNOW EVERYTHING YOU DO

DENNY EVERYTHING YOU DO

SHELL I’M YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL

NOTHING HAPPENS HERE I DON’T SEE

NOTHING’S SAID THAT WON’T GET BACK TO ME

LUCKY YOU THAT I’M GONNA BE YOUR ANGEL

DENNY AH-AH-AH-AH-AAAH



13

SHELL YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL

TANNOY Movement to work will now commence.

(SHELL takes out a bag of pills .)

SHELL (to RACHEL) Here – leave you a coupla freebies.

(RACHEL’S left staring at the pills. She flushes them down the loo and sobs on

her bed.) [SFX:

“Locks, bolts and bars” as the prison machine closes in.]

SCENE FOUR

PRISON OFFICERS’ OFFICE / G WING LANDING / MALE STAFF TOILETS . SYLVIA’S in her

armchair, feet up, with her ‘Take a Break’ magazine. JIM’S on paperwork .

JUSTIN (to JIM) Black coffee? (To SYLVIA.) Sweet tea?

SYLVIA I’d prefer a ‘G and T’, the morning I’ve had.

JUSTIN You never have a good morning, do you, Sylvia?

SYLVIA Excuse me?

JIM Justin – better hop it down to reception. There’s a sweat box due back from

court.

JUSTIN Why do they keep sending us prisoners? Don’t they know Sylvia’s on her tea-

break?

(He exits.)

SYLVIA You can see who that little pup’s licking up to, can’t you?

(RACHEL appears at the door.)

RACHEL Mr Fenner?

(SYLVIA groans. JIM plays weary for SYLVIA’S benefit.)

JIM What is it now, Rachel?

RACHEL I need to talk to you, sir. Private, like.

SYLVIA This isn’t a drop-in centre, you know.

RACHEL Please, sir –

(JIM heads RACHEL outside.)



14

JIM (to RACHEL) All right – (Tutting to SYLVIA.) Mr Popular!

(He shuts the door on SYLVIA and turns to tearful RACHEL.)

JIM (cont’d) What’s the problem, Rachel?

RACHEL That Shell Dockley . . .

JIM What about her?

RACHEL Her and her mate’s been trying to get me on the smack.

JIM Don’t you worry about Dockley, I’ll deal with her.

RACHEL Oh thanks, sir. I told her I’d report her to you.

JIM Well, she’d better not find out you have or she’ll rip your tongue out.

RACHEL But – but you’ll stop her, won’t you?

JIM Rachel – I can’t give you special treatment if you go round telling everyone

about it.

RACHEL I’m going to report her to Miss Stewart.

JIM Miss Stewart? She’s been in prison for about as long as you have, love. But

fine, if you’d rather trust her than me . . .

(And he makes to go . RACHEL panics .)

RACHEL No, sir – please – I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing. I just –

(She blubs . JIM lifts her chin .)

JIM It’s only me can keep you safe and help you get back your baby, Rachel. But

you’ve got to keep this shut. Okay? Trust me?

(RACHEL nods.)

JIM (cont’d) Good girl.

(He gives her chin a little brush with his forefinger and winks at her, just as

HELEN appears.)

JIM (cont’d) Go and report for work.

(RACHEL scurries off.)

HELEN (suspicious ) Problem?

JIM Ask me, that one’s got ‘victim’ written all over her, poor kid.



15

HELEN No one’s a victim on my Wing.

JIM That’s why I’m taking her under my wing, ma’am.

(HELEN gives him a long look.)

HELEN Book her in to see me first thing tomorrow.

(She heads into the office . JIM follows her, rattled . HELEN finds SYLVIA asleep .)

HELEN (cont’d) Can I fetch you a footstool, Sylvia?

(SYLVIA jumps up.)

SYLVIA Sorry, ma’am – I was just . . . um . . .

HELEN Skiving?

(SYLVIA’S affronted.)

SYLVIA Not me, Miss Stewart! I live and breathe for this prison.

HELEN Well living and breathing isn’t quite enough, I’m afraid, you’ve got to move

about a bit as well. So when you’ve caught up with your other duties, I want

you to find Nikki Wade and upgrade her cell.

(SYLVIA and JIM snort in disbelief.)

JIM / SYLVIA What?

JIM You’re putting a known trouble-maker like Wade on enhanced?

SYLVIA Giving her privileges?

HELEN Her appeal came through today. It’s our job to give her every encouragement

to win it.

SYLVIA What, so she can murder another man in a fit of jealous rage? She’s lucky

we’re not allowed to give her a good hanging.

HELEN Really?

JIM Well you can’t believe she stabbed a broken bottle in that copper’s neck by

accident?

HELEN ‘That copper’ was trying to rape her girlfriend!

SYLVIA They’ve always got an excuse.

HELEN Oh, for goodness sake.



16

JIM Um – you sure you’re not getting too personally involved here?

HELEN I’m saying she’s not a homicidal maniac.

SYLVIA (to JIM) No, just a homosexual murderess. Society needs protecting. We need

protecting.

HELEN If you’d rather execute prisoners, Sylvia, I suggest you apply for a job in Texas.

(She turns to go – and JIM suddenly sees the future . . . )

JIM Just a sec . . . you say you’re worried about Rachel Hicks? (To SYLVIA.)

How’re we supposed to keep her safe with the likes of Wade let off the leash?

SYLVIA Like throwing a chop to a Rottweiler.

HELEN You don’t know anything about any of the women in here, do you?

JIM With all due respect, ma’am, us old lockhands know a bit about Jailcraft.

Bottom line is, you go soft on a hard case like Wade –

SYLVIA Well that’s Good Order And Discipline dead and done for.

HELEN I’ll tell you what’s dead and done for – treating these women like children,

cancelling their visits, ‘losing’ their letters – the whole bag of dirty tricks

you’ve used to make their lives a misery. So stop living in the past and carry

out my orders.

(HELEN exits . SYLVIA shakes her head in despondency.)

SYLVIA That’s it, then. End of an era, Jim. Time to bring on the chronic backache and

sign off on the sick.

JIM Maybe not Sylv, I think she’s just shot herself in the foot.

SYLVIA How’s that?

JIM Well, talk about high risk strategy! If Wade kicks off again, and let’s face it,

that won’t be hard to arrange, then Stewart’ll be in a right mess.

(SYLVIA sees the light.)

SYLVIA And we’ll clean up!

Music No. 3: “JAILCRAFT”

(JIM & SYLVIA)

JIM YOU WON’T LEARN THIS ART IN A BOOK

THERE’S NO FAST TRACK TO IT

SYLVIA YOU CAN’T SKIP THE YEARS THAT IT TOOK

THERE’S A REAL KNACK TO IT



17

JIM JAILCRAFT

WE’VE GOT IT!

SYLVIA JAILCRAFT

YOU’VE GOT IT!

JIM & SYLVIA JAILCRAFT

THAT’S WHAT IT TAKES

SYLVIA YOU WON’T GET THIS WITH A DEGREE

IN CRIMINAL JUSTICE

DOWN THE SHARP END, TAKE IT FROM ME

JIM & SYLVIA THE ONE THING YOU TRUST IS

JAILCRAFT

WE’VE GOT IT

HARD GRAFTBUT WE’VE GOT IT

JAILCRAFT


JIM IT’S BASIC COMMON SENSE

SYLVIA PLUS A LITTLE SELF-DEFENCE

JIM MIX WITH PROFESSIONAL CALM

SYLVIA ADD A DASH OF PERSONAL CHARM

JIM & SYLVIA AND WHEN THAT OLD PROVERBIAL

FINALLY HITS THE FAN

WE’RE UP FRONT

BEARING THE BRUNT

JUST DOING THE BEST WE CAN

WE DON’T GET THE THANKS WE DESERVE

DOWN AT THE COALFACE

WHILE THOSE WIMPS ARE LOSING THEIR NERVE

WE RUN THE WHOLE PLACE JAILCRAFT

JIM IRREFUTABLE


SYLVIA GOD WE’RE BEAUTIFUL



JIM Right. Get Wade back on the wing and tell Dockley ‘to report for work’.



18

SYLVIA Don’t worry, I’ll wind up Wade’s welcome party.

(SYLVIA exits .)

JIM AND IF THE POWERS THAT BE

ARE JUST TOO BLIND TO SEEI KNOW A THING OR TWO

I’LL PULL A STRING OR TWO

TAKE A LESSON FROM ME

(JIM enters the Male Staff Toilets. He’s joined at the urinals by the NUMBER

ONE.)

NUMBER ONE So, Jim, off the record, how’s the new girl Governor doing on G Wing?

JIM (aside ) WORRIED LOOK, FURROWED BROW

A SLIGHT . . . HESITATION . . .

NUMBER ONE If you have concerns . . .

JIM (to NUMBER ONE) I WOULDN’T LIKE TO INTERFERE

NUMBER ONE Any information’s in the strictest confidence.

(Dramatic pause, then JIM flourishes a notebook.)

JIM IT’S ALL IN HERE . . .

YEARS OF EXPERIENCEYOU UNDERSTAND . . .

(The NUMBER ONE takes the notebook and shakes JIM’S hand.)

NUMBER ONE Leave it with me, Jim. Enough said.

JIM YEARS OF PERFECTING

A SHAKE OF THE HAND

NUMBER ONE See you at the Lodge meeting.

(The NUMBER ONE exits and JIM goes to the mirror .)

JIM MY BUT IT’S GOOD TAKING CONTROL

SLIDING UP THAT GREASY POLE

(The urinals disappear and SYLVIA rejoins him back on the landing, both a-

swagger .)

JIM & SYLVIA AND YOU WON’T GET THAT OUT OF A BOOK

ON PRISON PROCEDURE

WHEN THOSE SUITS GET CAUGHT ON THE HOOKTHAT’S WHEN THEY NEED YA



19

JAILCRAFT

WE’VE GOT IT

HARD GRAFT

BUT WE’VE GOT IT

JAILCRAFT

THAT’S WHAT IT TAKESWHEN YOU’RE SHORT-STAFFED

YOUR BACK NEARLY BREAKS

WE GET WELL SHAFTED

BUT WE STRUGGLE THROUGH

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL

YOUR EAR TO THE GROUND

BACK TO THE WALL

WHEN TROUBLE’S AROUND

IT’S JAILCRAFT

JAILCRAFT

JAILCRAFTTHAT’S WHAT WE DO

ME AND YOU!

(The JULIES enter to mop the landing, as a prison officer leads NIKKI to the

wing gate. NOREEN lurks. SHELL enters in a strop.)

SHELL (to NOREEN) What you looking at, Asbo? Do one.

(JIM smirks to SYLVIA and exits to the POs’ office . PRISON OFFICER unlocks the

gate and NIKKI enters .)

PRISON OFFICER One back on the wing.

(He re-locks it and exits.)

NIKKI This has got to be a wind up.

SYLVIA Governor’s orders.

NIKKI To put me on enhanced?

SHELL Eh? What’s this?

SYLVIA None of your concern, Dockley.

SHELL But what’s she done to get given special privvies?

SYLVIA Wait at the gate for escort to work. Wade, go pack your bags.

(SYLVIA exits to the office. And SHELL marches up to NIKKI in a fury .)

SHELL You ain’t packing nothing ’cept my fist, you shitpiece.

(SHELL takes a swing at NIKKI, and NIKKI dodges.)



20

NIKKI Whoah! Stay away from me.

JULIE S Oi! Dockley –

JULIE J Watch out, Nik –

(SHELL dives on NIKKI who is forced to fight back. They wrestle . SHELL is a

fireball of fury. NOREEN watches excitedly .)

SHELL Turned guv’nor’s grass, ain’tcha?

NIKKI What’re you on about, you crack-head?

NOREEN Go on, Nikki, kick her in the fanny. (As SHELL kicks NIKKI.) No, not you, her.

Slap her tits.

(And all NIKKI can do to stop her is swing a punch – as JUSTIN and PRISONOFFICER arrive back at the gate to witness .)

JULIE S Leave it, Nik –

JULIE J She’s not worth it.

JUSTIN Nikki –

TWO JULIES Dockley –

(SYLVIA returns.)

SYLVIA What the blue blazes . . .?

SHELL (to JUSTIN) You saw that, sir! She just went for me!

NIKKI The stupid nutter’s off her face.

(JIM re-emerges from the office, casual as anything .)

JIM Problem?

SYLVIA Wade’s just attacked Dockley.

NIKKI It was self-defence.

SYLVIA Oh, that old line.

JIM You’re on Rule 43.

NIKKI No way!

JULIE S That’s not fair!



21

JULIE J ’S not fair!

NOREEN It was just getting good.

JIM And you can stop stirring and get back to your cell. Dockley, off to work.

SYLVIA Show’s over.

(SYLVIA herds them away , SHELL smug. JIM smirks as ‘Control and Restraint’

arm and leg locks are applied to NIKKI.)

JIM You just can’t control that vicious temper, can you, Wade? Shame, ’cos

apparently your appeal came through today.

NIKKI What appeal?

JIM Too late for regrets now. Take her down the block, Mr Mattison.

NIKKI Get off me, you bastards!

(JIM exits. NIKKI is manhandled off .) [SFX:

A deafening slam – “Locks, bolts

and bars”.]

SCENE FIVE

PUNISHMENT BLOCK CELL. NIKKI is manhandled in.

JUSTIN (to other officer ) That’s enough.

(NIKKI is left on the bed and the P.O. exits.)

NIKKI What’s this about my appeal?

JUSTIN Miss Stewart’s got you a court hearing. There’s new evidence against that

policeman.

NIKKI Huh?

JUSTIN

But you just keep looking for trouble, don’t you?

NIKKI I didn’t start it!

JUSTIN Why the hell do you make it so hard for people to help you, Nikki? Don’t you

want to get out of prison?

(JUSTIN exits. NIKKI is left alone to contemplate her fate .)

Music No. 4: “ONE MOMENT”

(NIKKI)

NIKKI DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME ON METHERE’S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO SET ME FREE . . .



22

ONE LIFE

ONE FATE

NOTHING I CAN DO

GOD KNOWS I’VE WIPED MY TEARS AWAY

TOO LONG

TOO LATEAND EVERYTHING I EVER HAD WAS BROKEN ON THAT DAY

ONE MOMENT AND LIFE IS CHANGED FOREVER

PATHS ARE CROSSED

DREAMS ARE LOST

DESTINIES COLLIDE

IN ONE MOMENT THE WORLD IS CHANGED FOREVER

THE GREAT AND GOOD DIVIDE

TRUTH WILL DECIDE

ONE CHOICEONE FIGHT

WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?

HOW COULD I LIVE AND LET IT BE?

TWO WRONGS

ONE RIGHT

AND EITHER WAY A PRICE TO PAY THAT ALL COMES BACK TO ME

ONE MOMENT YOU FACE THE WORLD TOGETHER

RIDING HIGH

DAYS GO BY

LOST WITHOUT A CAREONE LAST MOMENT OF HOLDING ON TOGETHER

AS ALL THE DREAMS YOU SHARE

MELT INTO AIR

AND LIFE PLAYS ON

BEYOND THOSE GATES

WHERE FREEDOM CALLS

AND NO ONE WAITS

THERE WHERE MY LIFE USED TO BE

THERE’S NOTHING BUT A FANTASY

ALL THAT I HAD LEFT OF MEIS GONE

ALL GONE

LONG GONE

I WON’T FORGET

I DON’T REGRET

THERE’S NOTHING MORE THAT I CAN SAY

I’LL PAY MY DEBT

AND LET THEM THROW MY LIFE AWAY

ONE MOMENT YOUR FUTURE’S GONE FOREVERBRIDGES BURNED



23

A CORNER TURNED

YOU WALK THE LINE ALONE

IN ONE MOMENT WHAT’S DONE IS DONE FOREVER

WHEN ALL THE BIRDS HAVE FLOWN

YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN

YOU’RE ON YOUR OWNI’M ON MY OWN

(She slumps in despair . HELEN unlocks the door and enters, holding an official

letter.)

HELEN Great timing, Nikki.

NIKKI Just leave me alone, will you?

HELEN Sorry, but I’ve stuck my neck out for you. I need you to win this appeal.

NIKKI Look, if you’ve got some Good Samaritan fixation, why don’t you go and helpRachel Hicks?

HELEN Nikki – this is your chance to get back together with your girlfriend. You

can’t give up on her now.

NIKKI That’s right, I can’t – ’cos she’s got together with somebody else.

HELEN Oh. I’m so sorry.

NIKKI Yeah well, don’t worry, if I’d known I’d lose the girl, I’d still have stabbed the

guy. “Can’t control my vicious temper”, can I?

HELEN So you’re just going to play the martyr, are you? Feel sorry for yourself?

(NIKKI looks at her – and can hardly fight back the tears .)

NIKKI That’s right. Do you mind?

(She turns away. HELEN goes to her.)

HELEN Yes, I do, actually. You’re going to work, then back on the wing.

NIKKI What?

HELEN I’m over-ruling Fenner and I’m moving you up to Enhanced. And I expect you

to go to court and bloody well fight for your freedom, Nikki. Not just for you,

but for all the other women in here.

(HELEN opens the cell door.)

HELEN (cont’d) Deal?

NIKKI You’re the boss.

(NIKKI exits with HELEN.) [SFX:

“Locks, bolts and bars”.]



24

SCENE SIX

G WING LANDING. JUSTIN unlocks the gate for the JULIES to mop their way back on to the landing.

JUSTIN On you go.

JULIE S Any jobs you want a hand with, sir?

JULIE J We don’t mind getting dirty for you.

JULIE S (snapping on her rubber gloves ) But we do insist on using rubbers.

JUSTIN Look, Julies – (Sighs.) Do you have to keep this up?

JULIE J Keep what up, lover boy?

JUSTIN That! Harassing me. Respect works both ways, you know?

JULIE S Sorry, darling. Only showing our appreciation.

(She goes off to the servery, but JULIE J hangs back.)

JULIE J We’re not used to blokes treating us nice.

JUSTIN Well that’s a good reason to try and change your ways, isn’t it? Start afresh.

JULIE J Do that every time we get out, innit? But we’re not educated like you, sir.

Only work we can get’s against the bleeding law. Even when half the puntersout there are the bleeding law.

(She heads off after JULIE S, leaving JUSTIN feeling inadequate – as HELEN

enters the wing, with a look of determination to JUSTIN.)

HELEN Tell Mr Fenner I’ve sent Nikki Wade back to work. Then she’ll be moving

cells.

(JUSTIN heads off to the POs’ office, gladly.)

HELEN (cont’d) Julie? Can I have a word?

(JULIE S points to herself – ‘Me, Miss?’ HELEN nods.)

JULIE S (to JULIE J) Bleedinell, what have I done now?

(She goes over to speak to HELEN.)

JULIE S (cont’d) Yes, Miss?

(JULIE J earwigs in the background.)

HELEN I’ve had a call about your son. David.



25

(JULIE S panics.)

JULIE S What about him? He’s all right, ain’t he, Miss? Tell me.

HELEN Don’t worry, Julie. There’s nothing wrong with him. But Social Services say

there’s been a problem with the care arrangements you made for him over theschool holidays . . .

JULIE S Eh? What’s my arrangements got to do with Social bleeding Services? My

David’s staying with his Auntie Sandra. Sorted.

HELEN Unfortunately his ‘Auntie Sandra’ has also been taken into custody.

JULIE J Oh shit.

HELEN Social Services have found him a foster home.

JULIE S What? You mean they’re sticking my son in a house with a couple of strangers

to look after him?

HELEN He’s too young to look after himself. I’m sure your son knows how much you

love him, Julie. I’ll try and get a number for you to call him.

(HELEN exits – leaving both the JULIES in despair .)

JULIE S Oh my God, Ju. What if I have to tell him the truth?

JULIE J You can’t do that, Ju. He thinks his mum’s a top international travel agent.Why you got to spend all this time away and sent him to boarding school,

innit? You can’t tell him you’re on the game and in the nick?

JULIE S Why do they punish our kids? It’s not their fault what their rotten mums done.

Should’ve seen this coming, Ju.

JULIE J (bitter ) Yeah, since when did we never get shat on?

Music No. 5: “LIFE OF GRIME”

(THE TWO JULIES / PRISONERS)

JULIE J (cont’d) WHEN YOU’RE STUCK IN THE MUCKAND NOBODY GIVES A –

TWO JULIES FRENCH CONNECTION

JULIE J WHEN YOU’RE DOWN ON YOUR LUCK

AND YOU’RE RUNNING IN THE –

TWO JULIES WRONG DIRECTION

THERE’S NO ESCAPING FROM THE SLIME

YOU’RE LIVING A LIFE OF GRIME

JULIE J BLOODY RUBBISH



26

TWO JULIES A LIFE OF GRIME

JULIE J WHEN YOU DOSS WITH THE DROSS

AND YOU’RE BANGED UP IN AN –

TWO JULIES INSTITUTION

JULIE S NO-ONE’S GIVING A TOSS

ALL THEY’RE GIVING YOU IS –

TWO JULIES RETRIBUTION

YOU’RE JUST A VICTIM DOING TIME

FOR LIVING A LIFE OF GRIME

JULIE S WHEN YOU’RE FLAT ON YOUR BACK

WHILE SOME GIT GETS HIS ROCKS OFF

TWO JULIES THAT’S A TIME TO REFLECT

JULIE J YOU’RE MOANING AND GROANING

YOUR POOR LITTLE SOCKS OFF

TWO JULIES THAT DOESN’T GET YOU RESPECT

AFTER BLOWING HIS HORNPIPE

AND BANGING HIS DRUM

AND THANKING GOD YOU’RE NOT HIS WIFEIT TAKES MORE THAN A WET WIPE

TO CLEAN UP THE SCUM

OF YOUR WHOLE STINKING MISERABLE LIFE

JULIE J YOU’RE A SLUT IN A RUT

JULIE S NEVER SHIFTING THE DIRT

JULIE J ALWAYS LOOKING FOR SOME LUBRICATION

JULIE S SICK AND TIRED OF THE SMUT

JULIE J SICK OF LIFTING YOUR SKIRT

JULIE S YOU COULD USE A BIT OF CULTIVATION

TWO JULIES INSTEAD OF BLOOMING IN YOUR PRIME

YOU’RE LIVING A LIFE OF . . .

(The women at work appear at their production line, robotically sticking the

heads on dolls and passing them down the line as they sing. )



27

TWO JULIES

& PRISONERS GRIME, GRIME, GRIME, GRIME

PRISONERS CAN’T SHIFT IT

CAN’T MOVE IT

CAN’T GET THIS CRAP – OUT OF MY LIFECAN’T SHIFT IT

CAN’T MOVE IT

CAN’T GET THIS CRAP – OUT OF MY LIFE

LOW DOWN DIRTY LITTLE SCUMBAG SCRUBBERS




(Lights down on the works production line, as JULIE S slumps in despair .)

JULIE S ALL THAT I WANTED

WAS ONE LOUSY BREAK

A CHANCE TO MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT

BUT DESPITE ALL MY TALENTS

THE BOOKS NEVER BALANCE

I KEEP ENDING UP IN THE SHITE

TWO JULIES WHEN YOU’RE STUCK IN THE MUCK

AND NOBODY GIVES A FRENCH CONNECTION

ALWAYS PASSING THE BUCK

BUT YOU’RE NEVER GONNA PASS INSPECTIONNOW LET ME TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME . . .

IF CLEANLINESS

MEANS GODLINESS

WE’RE SCREWED ALREADY

SO SOD THE MESS

THE SLOP’S IN THE BUCKET

YOU DON’T HAVE TO SUCK IT

TO SEE THAT IT’S A CRIME

LIVING A LIFE

LIVING A LIFE

LIVING A LIFE OF GRIME.

(The JULIES pack up their mops and buckets and get ready behind the servery

to dish up the next meal.)

TANNOY Return from work will now commence. [SFX: “Locks, bolts and bars” – the

sound of multiple gates and doors unlocking all round the prison.]

(The other prisoners return from work and start to queue for tea. CRYSTAL’S

reading her bible. JIM and SYLVIA emerge from the POs’ office to supervise . A

MALE NURSE enters with the drugs trolley.)

NURSE Medication?



28

TWO JULIES Buns and biccies.

(NOREEN queues up in the hope of getting some drugs.)

NOREEN I’m on the methadone.

SYLVIA No you’re not, you’re on biccies. Get back in the other queue.

JIM Mr Mattison – one more to collect from reception.

(JUSTIN exits.)

SHELL (to SYLVIA, re. NIKKI) What’s that snitch-bitch doing off the block?

SYLVIA Miss Stewart insists on moving her to an enhanced cell.

CRYSTAL Enhanced?! That sinner?

(SYLVIA folds her arms, as does JIM – both playing poker-faced.)

DENNY I don’t get it.

(Shell barges up to JIM.)

SHELL Neither do bleeding I! After what she done to me?

SYLVIA Don’t blame us, Dockley. We’re just following orders.

(She heads off to the POs’ office.)

SHELL Stewart must be shagging her!

NIKKI Piss off, Dockley.

JIM Wade, shut it! Dockley, move it.

(He exits. The JULIES join NIKKI, delighted . CRYSTAL walks amongst the

heathen, intoning from her Bible.)

CRYSTAL ‘Then the Lord rained upon Sodom and Gomorrah with brimstone and fire

from the Lord out of heaven.’

JULIE S Give us a break, Crystal.

JULIE J We had enough rained on us from old men when we was working, innit?

CRYSTAL All you heathens is gonna get stuffed with red hot pokers come Judgement

Day. When I is chilling up in Heaven – with angels bringing me milk and

honey to sip off their golden spoon.

JULIE S Only till you nick it off ’em.



29

JULIE J Then you’ll get a poker like the rest of us.

(JUSTIN unlocks the gate and ushers in a new plastic-bag laden prisoner,

YVONNE ATKINS. In stark contrast to RACHEL, YVONNE’S entrance is sassy

and bold, dressed in a long red leather coat and high-heeled boots. The

women’s heads turn.)

JUSTIN New one on the Wing. Yvonne Atkins.

(He turns his back on her to lock the gate.)

YVONNE Hi girls. Just popped in for a quick four years. ‘But look on the bright side’, I said

to myself. ‘Least you’ll get a break from bleeding men’. On the other hand –

(Looks at JUSTIN’S arse.)

YVONNE (cont’d) Nice firm buns, do you give ’em away later?

(She gooses him.)

JUSTIN How would you like me to take you down the block?

YVONNE Is that like up the Arsenal?

(JUSTIN flushes.)

YVONNE (cont’d) (to the women ) Bloody hell – he’s pushy, ain’t he?

JUSTIN Wait there! I’ll see what cell you’re in.

YVONNE I’ve booked an en-suite double with a view of the bay.

(Prisoners laugh as red-faced JUSTIN hurries away to the POs’ office . YVONNE

spots a familiar face and approaches NOREEN.)

YVONNE (cont’d) Hello? I thought you were dead!

JULIE S Well what you waiting for, Shell? Gonna say ‘hello’ to the new girl?

JULIE J Like you do?

(SHELL sees her chance to regain face.)

SHELL What, you think I’m crapping it for some knackered old mobster’s missus?

(To DENNY.) Insult, innit?

DENNY Yeah, mentalist.

SHELL (nudges DENNY) Go on, then, Den. Do the honours.

DENNY Me?



30

SHELL Yeah. Like you do.

(DENNY’S nervous as she’s bounced to the fore to give YVONNE the treatment.)

DENNY (to YVONNE) Oi! Brung any gear in on you? ’Cos either you give it over to

Shell or I’ll smack your head open.

(She brandishes the sock. YVONNE is unimpressed .)

YVONNE And who’s ‘Shell’ when she’s not at home?

DENNY ( pointing ) Shell Dockley. She’s top dog in this nick.

YVONNE Oh yeah? Woof woof. Well sorry, Fido. It’s time to move you out of your

kennel.

DENNY Listen, Grandma, you ain’t getting it. Shell’s doing life for topping the last tartwho got on her tits. You should be scared of her.

(She holds SHELL’S stunned stare. Then quickly takes out a flick-knife which

causes DENNY to drop the sock with the pool balls in. YVONNE casually

manicures her nails with the knife.)

YVONNE (to DENNY) I don’t do scared. (Beat.) I think your balls are on the floor.

(All the prisoners laugh . DENNY bends to pick them up . SHELL finally covers

with a little laugh.)

SHELL Okay. Just a joke.

(SHELL and DENNY retreat, the sound of jeering ringing in their ears.)

YVONNE (to the other women ) That’s all sorted, then.

(SYLVIA approaches, followed by JUSTIN.)

SYLVIA You can wipe that smile off your face, Atkins. You might be famous on the

outside, but you won’t be in here.

YVONNE Wanna bet?

SYLVIA You’re in cell seven. Move it.

YVONNE (to JUSTIN) Who’s the concierge?

SYLVIA You call me ‘Miss’ and you move, or you’re on report.

YVONNE Sylvia Hollamby, that’s right. As in Mr R. J. Hollamby Funeral Directors,

care of number thirteen, Cherry Tree Crescent, London SW9 4PQ?

(SYLVIA is taken aback .)



31

SYLVIA (to JUSTIN) How does she know that?

NOREEN She’s a witch.

JUSTIN Not from me.

YVONNE From my husband, Charlie. He provides a lot of business for undertakers. If

you want me to put in a good word for your old man. ‘Miss’?

(SYLVIA flusters.)

SYLVIA (to the women ) You’re on free association until lock-up. (To JUSTIN.) You’re

on paperwork.

(She herds JUSTIN away to the POs’ office . YVONNE addresses the women .)

YVONNE I hope you girls know how to party.

(To exclamations of gleeful amazement from the assembled crowd, YVONNE

opens her long coat to reveal an array of inside pockets lined with miniature

bottles and cigarettes.)

JULIE S Blimey!

JULIE J Wow!

NIKKI Christ! I thought this dump was all bars and no booze.

YVONNE The screw who was supposed to search me didn’t fancy a visit from my

Charlie neither.

(Whoops of delight as she tosses bottles to the crowd. They immediately start

chucking it down their necks. YVONNE tosses a bottle for DENNY to catch .)

YVONNE (cont’d) Here’s an invite for you two an’ all. If you want to have a good time.

(DENNY and SHELL are dumbfounded .)

DENNY Eh?

YVONNE I only do nasty if I can’t do nice.

(DENNY looks to SHELL, eager.)

DENNY Shell?

(SHELL takes a sniff of the bottle and shrugs .)

SHELL Go with the flow, innit? Only one here wants us to have a bad time is that

Bible basher.



32

DENNY Right, Crys-taaal?

(CRYSTAL chucks away her Bible and grabs a bottle .)

CRYSTAL Ain’t no commandment says thou shalt not shake thy bootie.

(Whoops and cheers as CRYSTAL joins the throng . YVONNE brandishes her

own hip flask and notices RACHEL left behind on her own .)

YVONNE And who’s little Cinderella, then? Ain’t you coming to the ball, darling?

RACHEL I – I don’t know anyone.

YVONNE You and me better stick together, eh? Here, have a swig of my special cocktail.

Soon get you in the mood.

(She offers her flask to RACHEL.)

RACHEL What’s in it?

YVONNE Two parts sweet dreams, one part dynamite.

Music No. 6: THE A LIST

(YVONNE & PRISONERS)

YVONNE (cont’d) WHEN YOU’RE ALL DOLLED UP WITH NO PLACE TO GO

HEY! DON’T MAKE A FUSS

IF WE CAN’T GET OUT TO THE PARTY

THE PARTY CAN COME TO US!

(YVONNE throws off her coat .)

IT’S STRICTLY A-LIST

THIS’LL BE THE HOTTEST SPOT IN TOWN

SUN-KISSED CELEBRITIES WITH STYLE

CALL OK AND HELLO!

NOW WE’RE ALL SET TO GO

WE’RE GONNA MAKE A SPLASH

GET READY TO FLASH THAT SMILE


EVERYONE WHO’S ANYONE IS HERE

HEY SISTER, YOUR NAME IS ON THE DOOR

ROLL THE RED CARPET OUT

’COS TONIGHT THERE’S NO DOUBT

WE’RE HAVING A GIRLS’ NIGHT IN

LIKE THERE’S NEVER BEEN BEFORE

I’M GONNA BE THE PARTY QUEEN

GIVING IT UP ALL NIGHT

CRUISING AND SCHMOOZING WITH THE BESTTAKE A LOOK AROUND THIS EXCLUSIVE SCENE



33

SO MUCH FLESH TO BE PRESSED

OH YES


LISTEN TO THE WORD OUT ON THE STREET

DON’T MISS THE PARTY OF THE YEARNO ‘B’S, NO ‘C’S

AND DARLING PLEASE, NO ‘D’S

NO HAS-BEENS, WOULD BE’S

WANNABES, COULD BE’S

I ABSOLUTELY MUST INSIST

STRICTLY A’S ON THE LIST

WE NEED JHOOJH AND PIZZAZZ

AND SOME GLAMOUR IN OUR LIVES

OUT ON THE RAZZ

LIKE WE’RE FOOTBALLERS’ WIVES

LOW CUT

UPLIFT

YOU ARE

GOD’S GIFT

GO STRUT YOUR STUFF ON THE FLOOR

PRISONERS GO STRUT YOUR STUFF

YVONNE BIG HAIR

BLING BLINGHOT AIR

MINGLING

THIS IS THE LIFE I ADORE

PRISONERS CAN’T GET ENOUGH!

YVONNE

& PRISONERS IT’S STRICTLY A-LIST

LISTEN TO THE WORD OUT ON THE STREET

DON’T MISS THE PARTY OF THE YEAR

NO ‘B’S, NO ‘C’S,BUT MAYBE I COULD SQUEEZE SOME ‘E’S

NO HAS-BEENS, WOULD BE’S


PRISONERS HAS-BEENS, WOULD BE’S


YVONNE I ABSOLUTELY MUST INSIST . . .

YVONNE

& PRISONERS WE’RE ON THE A-LISTCOME OUT AND PLAY LIST



34

WON’T STOP TILL WE DROP

’COS WE’RE ON THE TOP TONIGHT

HEY, MISTER!

HEY, MISTER!

HEY, MISTER!

DON’T TURN OUT THAT LIGHT!

PARTY ALL NIGHT

BAD GIRLS PARTY

PARTY ALL NIGHT

BAD GIRLS PARTY

PARTY ALL NIGHT

BAD GIRLS PARTY ALL NIGHT!

PARTY ALL NIGHT!

TANNOY All inmates return to cells for lockup.

DENNY Cheers, Yvonne! I ain’t had such a good time since I set fire to my first foster

home.

(Prison reality snaps back in as SYLVIA reasserts her authority, JUSTIN in her

wake .)

SYLVIA That’s it, you lot. Bang up!

(There’s much bustling as bottles are tucked away and the prisoners start

heading off to their cells. SYLVIA gives YVONNE a wide berth .)

SYLVIA (cont’d) (to JUSTIN) You take Atkins. (To all .) Move it!

(JUSTIN comes to fetch YVONNE.)

JUSTIN (to YVONNE) Follow me.

(YVONNE picks up her plastic bag.)

YVONNE You can take me anywhere, sweetheart.

(JUSTIN rounds on her, affronted, as she eyes his arse.)

JUSTIN Look, if you want to screw a screw you’ve picked the wrong one, all right?

That’s not what I’m doing this job for.

YVONNE Ooooh, didn’t mean to poke you in the principles. Just – let me know when

you need a career break.

(She sashays off to her cell for JUSTIN to lock her in .)

TANNOY Lights out in five minutes.



35

SCENE SEVEN

NIKKI’S CELL. Inside her cell, NIKKI is unpacking her possessions – mainly books. HELEN knocks at

the half-open door and looks in.

HELEN Hi.

NIKKI Hi! Welcome to my new apartment.

(HELEN comes in, pushing the door to behind her .)

HELEN Happy with it?

(NIKKI’S flirty / challenging .)

NIKKI Be lovely when I’ve knocked through.

HELEN I know it’s still a cell but it’s the best I can do.

NIKKI Well, hopefully I won’t be here too long – I’ve decided to really go for this

appeal.

HELEN That is such good news.

NIKKI It’s the least I can do – after you sticking your neck out for me. Taking a hell

of a risk, aren’t you?

HELEN I don’t believe prisons should be about ‘us and them’, Nikki. I don’t believemost of these women should even be here. And I’ve never doubted you were

telling the truth about your case. I hope you believe we’re on the same side now.

NIKKI Apart from the odd set of bars and a ten foot wall . . . Seriously – you’ve given

me the first hope I’ve had in ages. Even lightened up enough to let my hair

down tonight.

(HELEN laughs.)

HELEN Would that explain the whiff of alcohol I detected on the Wing?

NIKKI Do I have the right to remain silent?

HELEN No.

NIKKI Do I have the right to tell you you’re gorgeous?

(HELEN flushes and gets up to go . NIKKI hastens to reassure .)

NIKKI (cont’d) All the women in here think you’re brilliant, taking on Fenner. Well, except

for Dockley, but – (she’s a psycho . . .)

HELEN Good night, Nikki.



36

(She exits – and NIKKI’S left in a spin .)

TANNOY Lights out.

(And the main lights go out .)

SCENE EIGHT

G WING LANDING / URBAN STREET. The night calls start up out of the darkness – unusually

merry.

JULIE S Anyone know a good cure for hiccups?

JULIE J Hiccups?

CRYSTAL Imagine being married to Fenner. Give yourself a fright, right?

(Cackles of laughter.)

NIKKI There’s hope for you yet, Crystal.

JULIE J Yeah, keep shaking that bootie.

KAT Can we have a party every night, Yvonne?

NOREEN What about some Bingo?

YVONNE Anyone for a nightcap?

PRISONER

(NATALIE) Yeah, swing it over!

DENNY Love ya, Shell.

SHELL I love me too, Den.

(JIM and SYLVIA complete the final lock-up . H ELEN enters, on her way home

and deep in disturbed thought . JUSTIN is waiting for her but she doesn’timmediately notice him. He’s trying to avoid attracting JIM and SYLVIA’S

attention .)

JUSTIN Helen?

HELEN Oh, hi –

JUSTIN Fancy a drink?

(Beat. HELEN catches up with herself .)

HELEN Yeah, why not?



37

(And they head off. JIM and SYLVIA call after her from afar.)

JIM & SYLVIA Goodnight, Ma’am!

(JIM mimes swinging his golf club after her, smirking to SYLVIA.)

JIM Soon be in the rough.

SYLVIA Well, that’s me off home happy. My Bobby’s doing his braised meatballs

tonight.

JIM Lovely. I’ll hand over to the night shift.

SYLVIA Night, Jim.

JIM Night, Sylv.

(Music starts. SYLVIA exits happily , swinging her keys .

JIM surveys his domain – and smiles .)

Music No. 7: “THE KEY”

(JIM)

JIM (cont’d) THE KEY TO HIDDEN TREASURE

THE KEY TO FORBIDDEN PLEASURE

AND HOW DO YOU MEASURE A MAN

IF IT’S NOT BY WHAT HANGS FROM HIS FOB?

EVER SINCE JAILERS BEGAN

IT’S BEEN ONE OF THE PERKS OF THE JOBGOING TO WORK ON THE JOB

WHEN YOU HOLD THE KEY

NO FORCE

NO COERCION

PURE SATISFACTION FOR ALL

OF COURSE

SOME PERVERSION

BUT NOTHING THAT’S PAINFUL OR TOO OFF THE WALL

A MUTUAL SERVICE AND WHAT BETTER WAYTO UNWIND AS YOU WEND AT THE END OF THE DAY

AND WHILE YOU’RE GETTING YOUR END WELL AWAY

YOU’RE THE KING

OF THE NIGHT

OUT OF REACH

OUT OF SIGHT

EVERYONE’S UP FOR A BITE, SO

DON’T CALL ME GREEDY

’COS THESE GIRLS ARE NEEDY



38

(JIM makes his way to SHELL’S cell . SHELL, in a sexy nightie, drapes herself in

the doorway, and Jim follows her inside. MUSIC continues as lights go up on

HELEN and JUSTIN in the street outside, running from the rain.)

HELEN & JUSTIN Taxi!

HELEN The great outdoors!

(He puts his umbrella over them both .)

HELEN Do you ever dream about doors?

JUSTIN Nah, I can lock ’em or leave ’em, me.

HELEN Why do we do it? Tonight – when I locked Nikki Wade in her cell – I thought

‘This is the shittiest job in the world.’ I mean, what kind of profession is it

where the occupational hazard is ‘lockhand’?

JUSTIN It’s the kind where you start your day with two prostitutes giving you the

come on, and you end it with a mobster’s missus grabbing your bum.

(HELEN giggles .)

JUSTIN (cont’d) Least that’s one hassle you don’t have to deal with – getting propositioned by

the prisoners.

HELEN Not every Juliet’s looking for a Romeo . . .

JUSTIN Right . . . (The penny drops.) Right.

HELEN Anyway, Nikki Wade’s going for her appeal so up yours, Fenner!

JUSTIN Taxi!

(Lights down and back up on the landing as JIM emerges from SHELL’S cell,

zipping up his flies.)

SHELL Ain’t you ever heard of “Ladies First”?

JIM If you play your cards right, pretty soon you could be shagging the Wing

Governor.

SHELL What, that Scottish tart? She’d be lucky.

JIM No. Me!

(JIM locks her in and resumes his patrol .)

JIM (cont’d) THE KEY TO HIDDEN TREASURE

THE KEY TO FORBIDDEN PLEASURETO TAKE AT YOUR LEISURE AND BEND



39

TO WHATEVER YOUR FANCIES DICTATE

VIRGINS AND TARTS END TO END

IT’S THE CREAM OF THE FEMALE ESTATE

AND YOU GET IT ALL ON A PLATE

WHEN YOU HOLD THE KEY

NO TIES

NO CONNECTIONS

FRESH SUPPLIES ALWAYS ON TAP

RECOGNISE

THEIR AFFECTIONS

YOU’LL SOON HAVE THEM EATING RIGHT OUT OF YOUR LAP

DESPERATELY GRATEFUL FOR ALL YOU CAN GIVE

IT’S QUITE FAIR TO SAY YOU’RE THEIR REASON TO LIVE

FRANKLY IT’S JUST IRRESPONSIBLE IF

I DON’T TRYTO PROVIDE

WHAT THEY LACK

HERE INSIDE

EVERYONE’S UP FOR THE RIDE, SO

WHO COULD ACCUSE ME

IF THEY CHOOSE TO USE ME?

(JIM unlocks the door to RACHEL’S cell.)

JIM (cont’d) Who’s got a smile for me, then?

(RACHEL comes to the doorway, dishevelled and snivelling.)

RACHEL Oh sir, I’m so glad to see you.

JIM Doesn’t look much like it, love.

RACHEL I’m sorry. The dark’s doing my head in. I get all scared. I have to keep the

light on at home.

JIM Nothing to be scared about now I’m here, eh?

(RACHEL brims with gratitude. She produces a piece of paper .)

RACHEL Wrote this poem for you, sir. To tell you all my feelings about you.

(JIM covers his annoyance with a smile .)

JIM Better look after it, hadn’t I?

(JIM takes the letter and ushers her back inside her cell .)

JIM (cont’d) Go make yourself look nice, I’ll come and tuck you into bed.



40

(JIM blows her a kiss and pulls the door to but doesn’t lock it .)

JIM (cont’d) (reads ) Dear Sir, you are my saviour.

Pardon me, for my behaviour.

If you could see . . .

(He scrunches up the paper and puts it in his pocket .)

JIM (cont’d) I WATCH AND I WAIT

MR WOLF AT THE GATE

I LEAD AND THEY FOLLOW

I FEED AND THEY SWALLOW

I NEED IT

I TAKE IT

WHO CARES IF

THEY FAKE IT

A MAN’S GOTTA MAKE ITAND MOVE IT

AND SHAKE IT

AND THIS LUCKY JIM

GETS IT ALL JUST FOR HIM

PICK ANY SLAG

EVERY SHAG’S IN THE BAG

WITH THE KEY

THE KEY

SLIDE INSIDE

AND OPEN WIDE

FOR ME

(He begins to unzip his flies as he turns to go to RACHEL’S door .)

BEHOLD THE KEY

THE BIGGEST YOU’LL SEE

I HOLD THE KEY

(RACHEL appears in her doorway in her nightie . JIM is facing her . RACHEL

looks down at his groin and her smile fades.)

RACHEL What you doing?

JIM I said I’d keep my special eye on you, love.

RACHEL But – I thought you meant you’d look after me.

JIM That’s right. Like I will every night. And this is how you say ‘thank you, sir’.

(RACHEL gasps in disbelief and backs into her cell .)

RACHEL No! Please – don’t –

JIM Sshhhh . . .



41

(JIM follows, silencing her. And the door shuts tight behind them.)

(Blackout.)

SCENE NINE

G WING – MORNING UNLOCK, next day.

TANNOY Attention all ears. This is Control. Morning unlock will now commence.

(Multiple key chains jangle, keys turn in locks . . . The prisoners make their

way from their cells. SYLVIA notices that RACHEL is missing .)

SYLVIA Where’s Hicks?

(JUSTIN is struggling to open RACHEL’S door. Some of the prisoners watchhim , YVONNE at the forefront .)

SYLVIA (cont’d) Mr Mattison?

YVONNE (to JUSTIN) What’s the matter, darling? Can’t get it in?

(JUSTIN snaps.)

JUSTIN Look, I told you –

(JUSTIN calls to SYLVIA.)

JUSTIN (cont’d) Mrs Hollamby –

(SYLVIA joins him, tutting.)

SYLVIA What is it?

JUSTIN Something wrong with this lock. Peep-hole’s bunged up and all.

SYLVIA Stand aside.

(She inserts her own key but can’t open the door. She looks through the peep-

hole.)

SYLVIA (cont’d) It’s not bunged up, it’s blocked off.

(She bangs on the door .)

SYLVIA (cont’d) Hicks! Unblock this door immediately!

JUSTIN She’s not answering.



42

(By now, all the women are gathering round and exchanging uneasy

mutterings, ad lib. SYLVIA calls to JIM – )

SYLVIA Mr Fenner –

(And barks at JUSTIN.)

SYLVIA (cont’d) Get that lot lined up with the rest of them.

(JUSTIN gestures to the women as JIM joins SYLVIA.)

YVONNE How many screws does it take to unlock a door?

(The JULIES lead the women into line, keeping their eyes fixed on RACHEL’S

cell door.)

JIM (to SYLVIA) What’s the problem?

SYLVIA It’s Hicks. Barricaded herself in, refusing to talk.

(JIM sighs.)

JIM Okay, leave her to me.

(He knocks on the door.)

JIM (cont’d) Rachel? This is Mr Fenner. Stop being a silly girl and clear this door. Then I’ll

come in and you can tell me what’s your problem.

(Everyone waits for a response – nothing . JIM beckons JUSTIN.)

JIM (cont’d) Give us a hand here, Mr Mattison. Count of three. One – two –

(JIM and JUSTIN heave their combined weight against the door – the metal

locker behind it makes a deafening thud as it topples over and the door grinds

open, leaving JUSTIN and JIM filling the doorway – to recoil in horror at what

they alone can see.)

JUSTIN Jesus Christ –

JIM Oh shit –

(Music starts. They step back and aside, unblocking the open doorway – and

everyone gasps in ad libbed shock / horror – except for SHELL, whose reaction

is more astonished glee .)

DENNY (guilty ) Shit, man.

SHELL (aside ) ‘Kinell, Den. Dozy twat couldn’t last a night.

SYLVIA The stupid, stupid girl.



43

(JUSTIN makes to enter the cell .)

JUSTIN Let’s get her down.

(JIM gets his grip back and stands in JUSTIN’S way, pulling the door to.)

JIM (to JUSTIN) No, you better get that lot back to their cells first. ( To SYLVIA.)

Radio the medics. I’ll sort this.

JUSTIN Maybe she left a note?

JIM Well if she did, I’ll make sure I find it.

(JIM lets himself back into the cell, closing the door behind him . SYLVIA gets

on her radio as JUSTIN returns to herding the women .)

SYLVIA (into walkie-talkie ) Hello Hotel, this is Zulu, over . . . Hotel, are youreceiving? This is Zulu calling . . . Zulu to Hotel? Hello? Anyone there? . . .

Oh hurrah. We’ve got a stiff on G Wing. Need it bagged up. Over . . .

(The women are horrified by SYLVIA’S attitude .)

Music No. 8: “THE WAY IT IS”

(COMPANY)

PRISONERS NOW WE KNOW

WHERE WE STAND

THERE IS NO

NO-MAN’S LANDTRUST IS TORN

A LINE IS DRAWN

AND THAT’S THE WAY IT IS!

MAKE YOUR MOVE

TAKE YOUR SIDE

THERE IS NO

PLACE TO HIDE

YOU’RE OUT ON A LIMB

NOW SINK OR SWIM

’COS THAT’S THE WAY IT IS!

(Ad lib back-up – ‘No way’ / ‘This is shit’ / ‘Poor Rachel’ as JUSTIN pleads

with them and SYLVIA shouts into her walkie-talkie. It’s chaos as HELEN

marches on to the wing, behind the backs of SYLVIA and JUSTIN. Everyone

jumps as she demands their attention.)

HELEN What the hell’s the commotion?

(Hush as she takes centre stage .)

HELEN (cont’d) (to SYLVIA) Well?



44

(SYLVIA almost relishes telling her .)

SYLVIA We’ve got a swinger, ma’am. Rachel Hicks.

(HELEN gasps.)

HELEN Oh no . . .

SYLVIA Mr Fenner’s cutting the corpse down now, if you want to take a look? (HELEN

balks. SYLVIA barks at the women.) Right, you lot – Move it! Back to your

cells – Now!

YVONNE We’re not going anywhere.

(The women are kicking off. SHELL joins in for the hell of it.)

SHELL Ain’t our fault poor Rachel’s dead, is it?

HELEN Listen, everybody, please . . . Now I’m sure every one of you has had a terrible

shock. But you won’t help anything by kicking off.

NIKKI What do you expect? Rachel’s dead.

(Ad lib support .)

YVONNE That kid was right as rain last night. Why would she suddenly go and top

herself?

(Ad lib support . JIM exits RACHEL’S cell, pocketing something .)

HELEN I assure you – there will be a full investigation into how and why this

happened.

NIKKI It happened because she was banged up in prison. (Pointing at JIM.) With

bastards like him on the loose.

JULIE J His last one ended up down the muppet wing.

JULIE S Yeah, he’s the one should be swinging.

PRISONERS NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY TO SWEEP US OUT OF SIGHT

WE WILL NOT LET THIS DAY GO BY

ALL OF YOUR MIGHT CANNOT FIGHT WHAT IS RIGHT

AND THAT’S THE WAY IT IS NOW

BRING IT ON DOWN

HELEN I want every one of you to go back to your cells. Quietly and calmly.

(The NUMBER ONE enters .)

NUMBER ONE What is going on here?



45

YVONNE A bloody crime. And you’re not gonna get away with it.

(Ad lib clamour . HELEN despairs. JIM steps in to ‘back up’ HELEN.)

JIM (to the women ) Miss Stewart’s given you a Governor’s order here. Return to

your cells now or the riot team’s coming in.

(The women resist.)

HELEN (to JIM) Wait.

(HELEN approaches the chanting women .)

HELEN (cont’d) Nikki – can I talk to you a minute, please?

(NIKKI takes a step forward but SHELL suddenly shouts her down – set on all-

out rabble-rousing.)

SHELL Oi! Whose side are you on?

HELEN I’m asking to talk to Nikki on behalf of you all!

YVONNE Then talk to us all.

PRISONERS Yeah. / Go on.

YVONNE Explain to us why Rachel’s dead.

PRISONERS ’COS IF YOU THINK WE’LL WALK AWAY

AS IF NOTHING REALLY MATTERS

THEN THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO SAY . . .

JIM Ask Wade. That’s who Rachel was scared of.

(NIKKI’S goaded to make her stand .)

NIKKI Go screw yourself, Fenner!

(The women jeer in support. It’s ‘Us and Them’, with HELEN and NIKKI facingeach other on opposite sides of the divide .)

PRISONERS

& OFFICERS THAT’S THE WAY IT IS!

COME ON, COME ON

THAT’S THE WAY IT IS!

COME ON, COME ON


COME ON, COME ON




46

BRING IT ON DOWN


COME ON, COME ON


COME ON, COME ON

THAT’S THE WAY IT IS!COME ON, COME ON



PRISONERS COME ON, COME ON

JIM Return to your cells now!


DENNY / JULIE S This is shit! / We’ve had enough of your crap.

SYLVIA Move it!


JULIE J / SPIKE Get screwed. / No way.

JIM Last chance.


(HELEN reaches out to NIKKI, desperate.)

HELEN Please don’t do this.

YVONNE Better tool up, girls!

(Ad lib cheers and jeers from the women as they break away to arm

themselves with snooker cues and anything else they can find.)

NUMBER ONE Report ‘situation out of control’.

Music No. 8a: “RIOT MUSIC”

(INSTRUMENTAL)

[SFX:

Riot mayhem – alarms sounding, letting off fire extinguishers, furniture

being kicked over, etc .]

(The officers retreat from the wing. Riot.)

(Blackout .)

END OF ACT ONE



47

ACT TWO

A few days later . . .

SCENE ONE

HMP LARKHALL – G WING / CRYSTAL’S CELL – night. Out of the dark come the sounds of

chaotic kicking off behind locked doors – angry protest and anguished wailing. CRYSTAL’S on her

bunk, with her guitar.

YVONNE How much longer are you going to keep us banged up?

NOREEN I haven’t had a fag for three days.

JULIE S It’s Fenner should be locked up twenty-four seven!

JULIE J Yeah, bet Rachel strung herself up to get away from him!

PRISONERS (ad libs ) This is bang out of order. / They never listen to us. / We got rights. /

Yeah, what about our civil liberties and that?

NIKKI They don’t give a toss about us. Nor about Rachel either.

CRYSTAL You’re at peace now, girl.

NOREEN She’s well out of it.

SHELL Sod Rachel Hicks. I need some bleeding peace.

JULIE S I could string you up, Dockley.

JULIE J Yeah, you evil cow.

(The cacophony increases and CRYSTAL covers her ears and sings out from her

soul – )

Music No. 9: “FREEDOM ROAD”

(CRYSTAL & CHORUS – chorus remains unseen throughout )

CRYSTAL FREEDOM ROAD

LEAD ME HOME

(She falters, tearful. But silence descends.)

JULIE S Go on, Crystal. Sing it, girl –

JULIE J Yeah, sing it for Rachel . . .

(CRYSTAL channels all the anger and anguish into a lament .)



48

CRYSTAL FREEDOM ROAD

LEAD ME HOME

I HAVE TRAVELLED SO LONG

NOW MY JOURNEY IS THROUGH

I WILL COME HOME TO YOU

ALL MY TROUBLES ARE GONE

FREEDOM ROAD

CHORUS FREEDOM ROAD

CRYSTAL LEAD ME HOME

CHORUS LEAD ME HOME

CRYSTAL I HAVE TRAVELLED SO LONG

CHORUS LORD, I HAVE TRAVELLED SO LONG

CRYSTAL WHEN I LAY ME TO REST

CHORUS LAY ME DOWN

CRYSTAL MY SOUL WILL BE BLESSED

CRYSTAL

& CHORUS ALL MY TROUBLES ARE GONE

FREEDOM ROAD

LEAD ME HOME

TAKE ME OUT OF THIS DARKNESS

CHORUS LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE DOWN ON ME

CRYSTAL LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE ON ME

FREEDOM ROAD

CHORUS FREEDOM ROAD

CRYSTAL LEAD ME HOME

CHORUS LEAD ME HOME

CRYSTAL I HAVE TRAVELLED SO LONG

CHORUS LORD, I HAVE TRAVELLED SO LONG

CRYSTAL NOW MY HEART FEELS NO PAIN



49

CHORUS NO MORE PAIN

CRYSTAL I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN

CRYSTAL

& CHORUS

ALL MY TROUBLES ARE GONEALL MY TROUBLES ARE GONE

FREEDOM ROAD

LEAD ME HOME

[SFX:

Sounds of the prison machine relentlessly throbbing in the background .]

SCENE TWO

PRISON OFFICERS’ OFFICE – next day. SYLVIA paces.

SYLVIA Flaming Nora – how long does it take for the buck to stop these days?

JUSTIN Maybe Jim’s being told it’s stopped with him.

SYLVIA You’d like that, would you?

JUSTIN How can they blame Helen? She didn’t drive Rachel Hicks to kill herself.

SYLVIA Oh it’s ‘Helen’ now, is it?

JUSTIN I think the whole thing stinks.

(JUSTIN exits . JIM enters, smug. SYLVIA looks at him expectantly.)

SYLVIA Jim?

(JIM’S cryptic.)

SYLVIA (cont’d) What? Tell me!

JIM You’re looking at a man who has just been given the nod.

SYLVIA Do you mean everything I hope you mean, Jim?

JIM A new day dawns, Sylv. (Tic.) Just a shame you won’t be part of it.

SYLVIA Not part of it?

JIM I thought you were putting in for early retirement. Bad back.

SYLVIA A girl can change her mind. A bit of good news and I think a full recovery is

very much on the cards.

JIM Looks like we’ll both be moving up in the world, then. Soon as Stewart moves

out.



50

SYLVIA You mean they’ve sacked her?

JIM Sacked? A senior civil servant? Don’t be daft. They’ll just show her out the

side door. Long as she carries the can with her when she goes.

SYLVIA Oh Jim – I hardly dare believe it – you in a suit and me by your side – it’s adream come true!

JIM No stopping us now, Sylv. We’re going to show them how a prison really

should be run . . .

Music No. 10: “THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT”

(JIM, SYLVIA & OFFICERS)

JIM (cont’d) ’COS IF THE POWERS THAT BE

IN ALL THEIR WISDOM AGREE

NO OTHER CANDIDATE

CAN SWING THAT GATE LIKE ME . . .

(JIM offers SYLVIA his arm as they exit and a chorus of all singing / dancing

PRISON OFFICERS, waving batons, enter in a glamorous black and white vision

of JIM’S fantasy .)

OFFICERS THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT AGAIN

THE WORLD IS BLACK AND WHITE AGAIN

WE’RE KEY HAPPY

TOE-TAPPY

NEVER THOUGHT THAT WE’D BE SO HAPPY

ONE OF OUR BOYS HAS MADE ITSHINING OUT LIKE A STAR

STAKING HIS CLAIM

MAKING HIS NAME

JIM YOU WILL GO FAR

(JIM enters in a spangly suit.)

JIM THE FUTURE IS MINE AGAIN

I’M SWINGING FROM A VINE AGAIN

LORD AND MASTER

OF A NEW DAYHOLD ON FAST

WE’RE ON THE RUNWAY

HERE AT LAST

AND I’LL BE HERE TO STAY

OFFICERS YOUR LOYAL ARMY SALUTES YOU, SIR

(SYLVIA enters spectacularly transformed and wearing tap shoes .)

SYLVIA I MUST SAY, THAT SUIT REALLY SUITS YOU, SIR

(JIM sits at his executive desk.)



51

JIM COME IN

PULL A SEAT UP

PUT YOUR FEET UP

THIS IS HOW IT’S GONNA BE

THE WITCH IS GONE

AND FROM NOW ONTHE MAN OF THE MOMENT IS ME

NOW IT’S CREAM CAKES WITHOUT WARNING

SYLVIA TEA BREAKS THAT LAST ALL MORNING

JIM & SYLVIA NO, IT’S NOT A DREAM

BUT THE START OF OUR NEW REGIME

OFFICERS &

JIM & SYLVIA IT’S LOOKING GOOD – IT’S LOOKING GOOD

IT’S LOOKING GREAT – IT’S LOOKING GREATWE’RE GETTING RID – WE’RE GETTING RID

WE COULDN’T WAIT – WE COULDN’T WAIT

LET’S GO – WE’RE ON OUR WAY NOW

WE KNOW – HE’S HERE TO STAY NOW

HEY HO – EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OK NOW

(SYLVIA has a tap solo over the following.)

OFFICERS ONE OF OUR BOYS HAS MADE IT

NO ONE ELSE COULD COMPARE

HOLDING THE FLAMEPLAYING THE GAME

WHO SAID WE’D PLAY FAIR?

OFFICERS &

JIM & SYLVIA THE DEED IS DONE – THE DEED IS DONE

IT’S IN THE BAG – IT’S IN THE BAG

THE BATTLE’S WON – THE BATTLE’S WON

PUT UP THE FLAG – PUT UP THE FLAG

WE’RE GONNA SPREAD A LITTLE HAPPINESS ALL OVER THE PLACE

LOCKING UP THE LOSERS WITH A SMILE ON OUR FACE

NOTHING’S GONNA STOP US NOW WE’RE BACK ON THE CASEAND HOW

JUST LOOK WHO’S THE BIG CHEESE NOW!

OFFICERS IT’S LOOKING GOOD – IT’S LOOKING GOOD

IT’S LOOKING GREAT – IT’S LOOKING GREAT

WE’RE GETTING RID – WE’RE GETTING RID

WE COULDN’T WAIT – WE COULDN’T WAIT

LET’S GO – WE’RE ON OUR WAY NOW

WE KNOW – HE’S HERE TO STAY NOW

HEY HO – EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY NOW



52

JIM THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT AGAIN

THE WORLD IS BANGED TO RIGHT AGAIN

I’M KEY HAPPY

TOE-TAPPY

NEVER THOUGHT THAT I’D BE SO HAPPY

OFFICERS ONE OF BOYS HAS MADE IT

NO ONE ELSE COULD COMPARE

HOLDING THE FLAME

PLAYING THE GAME

WHO SAID WE’D PLAY FAIR?

JIM HERE I STAND

WITH ALL THE WORLD AT MY FEET

JUST LIKE I ALWAYS PLANNED

VICTORY IS SWEET

OFFICERS THE DEED IS DONE – THE DEED IS DONE

IT’S IN THE BAG – IT’S IN THE BAG

THE BATTLE’S WON – THE BATTLE’S WON

PUT UP THE FLAG – PUT UP THE FLAG

WE’RE GONNA SPREAD A LITTLE HAPPINESS ALL OVER THE PLACE

LOCKING UP THE LOSERS WITH A SMILE ON OUR FACE

NOTHING’S GONNA STOP US NOW WE’RE BACK ON THE CASE

TODAY

JIM THE FUTURE IS MINE AGAIN

I’M SWINGING FROM A VINE AGAIN

LORD AND MASTER

OF A NEW DAY

HOLD ON FAST

WE’RE ON THE RUNWAY

HERE AT LAST

AND I’LL BE HERE TO STAY

FOR THE GLORIOUS

OFFICERS UNMISTAKABLE

JIM VICTORIOUS

OFFICERS STILL UNBREAKABLE

OFFICERS & JIM P - O - A!

(The union banner of the ‘Prison Officers’ Association’ unfurls and all salute .)

Music No. 10a: “THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT” PLAYOFF

(INSTRUMENTAL)

SCENE THREE

HELEN’S OFFICE . HELEN is at her desk studying the incident report . The NUMBER ONE enters.



53

NUMBER ONE Miss Stewart?

(HELEN looks up. He gives her a patronising smile .)

NUMBER ONE

(cont’d) I know how you must be feeling, but let me assure you – one tragic mistakeneed not be the end of a promising career. Providing you’re prepared to co-

operate.

HELEN Co-operate? With this pack of lies?

NUMBER ONE Helen –

HELEN Oh well obviously, if the Government wanted us to tell the truth about what

happens in prisons, why would it insist we all sign the Official Secrets Act?

(The NUMBER ONE’S mobile rings .)

NUMBER ONE (into phone ) Yes? – Almost – Certainly, your Ladyship. I’ll be there. Goodbye.

(Ends call. To HELEN.) The important thing is knowing when to move on.

HELEN You’re talking about covering up what caused a young woman’s death!

NUMBER ONE Had you followed Mr Fenner’s advice about Wade, she might still be alive.

HELEN Nikki Wade wasn’t a threat to Rachel.

NUMBER ONE Well she was certainly instrumental in causing a riot.

HELEN This is all from Fenner, isn’t it?

NUMBER ONE Helen, you made the mistake of becoming involved with a dangerous and

manipulative inmate. The case is closed, whether you like it or not.

HELEN Well I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit!

NUMBER ONE Your only option is where you go from here. But face it, Helen. You are going.

HELEN And I’ll tell you where – to a tribunal.

(The NUMBER ONE’S taken aback .)

NUMBER ONE Don’t be ridiculous.

HELEN I’m not leaving those women with Fenner. I’m going to fight this all the way.

NUMBER ONE Then you’ll lose. Everything.

HELEN Not my principles. And they’re worth more to me than a bloody pension.

(She turns away, determined . The NUMBER ONE fumes .)



54

NUMBER ONE I sincerely advise you to think again, Miss Stewart. And swiftly.

(He exits, leaving HELEN to consider her fate .)

SCENE FOUR

G WING LANDING / SERVERY.

TANNOY Unlock will now commence.

[SFX:

“Locks, bolts and bars” – the sound of multiple doors unlocking as the

women are finally let out of their cells.]

YVONNE Bastards should be giving us silver service.

JULIE S Thought they was waiting for us all to top ourselves.

JULIE J Top ourselves.

NIKKI They’d just better tell us what’s been done about Rachel.

PRISONERS Yeah!

(JIM and SYLVIA enter and the women confront them.)

CRYSTAL We want an explanation for this situation.

NIKKI And we want it now!

PRISONERS Stop pissing us about! / Bastards! / Been on holiday, have ya? / What about us?

/ What about Rachel? (etc . – ad lib protests )

(JIM quells the tumult.)

JIM Shut it! I’ll tell you what’s what.

YVONNE You do that. And it better be good.

JIM There’s been a tragic set of circumstances on this Wing which should never

have been allowed to happen. And, rest assured, Miss Stewart will be taking

full responsibility. So no more bending the rules – from now on it’s back tobasics. Meaning you lot better start behaving like good girls, got it?

NIKKI Total bollocks!

(The women are outraged, except for smug SHELL and DENNY.)

PRISONERS This is a joke! / Bloody rubbish! / ‘Tragic set of circumstances’?! / Bleedin’

whitewash! / I don’t believe this.

(JIM nods to SYLVIA.)

SYLVIA Johnston, Saunders – serve out the slop. The rest of you – form an orderlyqueue. Move it!



55

(Nobody moves. The JULIES exchange looks in the servery – then they rip off

their aprons and sling them on the floor .)

TWO JULIES Shove it!

JULIE S We’re going on strike.

JULIE J On strike.

SYLVIA You’re what?

TWO JULIES You heard.

JULIE S So if you want that served –

TWO JULIES Serve it yourself!

(The other women cheer, except for SHELL and DENNY.)

PRISONERS Yay! / Go for it, Julies!

JULIE S We ain’t doing our jobs –

JULIE J Till he’s lost his!

(They stand aside, arms folded .)

SYLVIA Well you’ve lost your marbles if you think that’s going to happen.

(SYLVIA’S walkie talkie goes off .)

SYLVIA (cont’d) Hello Control, Zulu receiving. Over.

(SYLVIA goes to one side to continue her conversation . JIM picks up the JULIES’

aprons .)

JIM Dockley – Blood – put these pinnies on and get serving.

(SHELL and DENNY are delighted .)

SHELL Yes, sir!

DENNY Wicked, man!

(The JULIES are taken aback and the other women are aghast .)

TWO JULIES Eh?

JIM It’s you that’s lost your jobs. And your visiting rights. (To the women.) Now

all of you – get the message and get on with it.



56

(He leaves them to mutter amongst themselves as SHELL and DENNY take over

the servery . SYLVIA excitedly returns from her walkie talkie conversation ).

SYLVIA Jim! The Number One wants to see you. Urgent!

JIM Well – talk about fast-track.

(SYLVIA bundles him towards the gate where JUSTIN is about to enter.)

SYLVIA Open the gate for your new Wing Governor, Justin. And look happy about it

or you might find yourself ‘just out’.

(JIM smirks.)

JIM Very good, Sylvia.

(JIM exits , SYLVIA waves him off then turns on the women .)

SYLVIA You heard your orders. Move it!

(She exits . JUSTIN locks the gate and despairs .)

SHELL Grub’s up.

(NOREEN approaches the counter with a tray .)

NOREEN Mine’s a full English.

JULIE S (to NOREEN) Eh? What d’you think you’re playing at?

JULIE J Where’s your solidarity?

NIKKI I’m with you, Julies.

CRYSTAL Don’t live by bread alone, innit?

(They all four stand aside in protest. The other women look to YVONNE.)

KAT What you reckon, Yvonne?

YVONNE I’d rather be dead than fed by Dockley.

(The other women fall in behind her. SHELL and DENNY challenge from

behind the servery, brandishing their ladles .)

SHELL Yeah? Well you ain’t gonna get fed by nobody else.

DENNY This ain’t meals on wheels, Grandma.

SHELL So, seeing as how we’ve got something you want, I think we need treatingwith a bit of respect.



57

DENNY Yeah, respect, man.

SHELL (to the other women ) And if we don’t get it, you lot don’t get nothing.

DENNY Geddit?

YVONNE (to DENNY) You lost the plot or something? Don’t you care what happened to

Rachel?

DENNY Nothing happened to her ain’t happened to me.

SHELL Tell her to piss off, Den.

DENNY Piss off.

(This is top dog stakes, and YVONNE’S not bending the knee .)

YVONNE Right, Ladies. Clear the decks. We’re all done here. (To JUSTIN.) Tell Fenner

we’re all going on strike. Hunger strike.

PRISONERS Yeah! / Hunger strike!

NOREEN Eh?

(But NOREEN’S swept out as the women exit the servery. SHELL’S triumphant .)

SHELL Whatever. Like we give a shit.

(And she slams the servery hatch closed . JUSTIN’S aghast, grabs NIKKI.)

JUSTIN Nikki – you’ve got to stop this.

NIKKI Who the hell do you think I am – head bloody prefect?

(She joins the rest of the women in clearing away . JUSTIN throws up his

hands .)

JUSTIN This isn’t going to help anything . . . (Firm.) Look, just wait by the gate.

(He hails the JULIES.)

JUSTIN (cont’d) Julie – (They both turn – which one? ) Miss Stewart asked me to give you this.

(He hands JULIE S a note .)

JUSTIN (cont’d) It’s the number of the foster home where your son is.

JULIE S Eh? She remembered?

JUSTIN (for NIKKI’S ears, too ) She’s not giving up on any of you women.



58

JULIE S What, like they’re really going to let me speak to him?

JUSTIN You’re still his mum, aren’t you?

(JULIE S looks at the note and quakes . JUSTIN rejoins NIKKI.)

JUSTIN (cont’d) Miss Stewart wants to see you.

NIKKI Good, because I want to see her.

(He leads her out . JULIE S turns to JULIE J.)

JULIE S Shit, Ju. What am I gonna say?

JULIE J Say you’re overseas. And the line’s bad. Tell him you’ll sort everything out

when you’re back in the country. Honest, Ju, lying’s best.

(JULIE J gives her a squeeze and goes . JULIE S picks up the phone and dials .)

JULIE S (into phone ) David? It’s your mum . . . Watcha, mate. Gotta be quick ’cos it’s

long distance . . . Yeah, I’m abroad . . . What? . . . er . . . Taiwan . . . I don’t

know, Japan innit? We just fly in and go straight to the hotel and that – never

know where we are half the time . . . Yeah, it is a good line, ain’t it?

Music No. 11: “SORRY”

(JULIE S)

JULIE S (cont’d) (music intro starts ) . . . What? . . . You mean – everything? . . . Oh, David –

I’ve been such a stupid cow . . .

I’M SORRY

SORRY YOU FOUND OUT THIS WAY

No, listen –

LISTEN

THERE’S SOME THINGS I NEED TO SAY

GOD KNOWS, I AIN’T NEVER BEEN PROUD OF WHAT I DO

BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW

I’M ALWAYS SO –SO PROUD OF YOU . . .

AND I’M SORRY

SORRY I CAN’T HOLD YOU AND SQUEEZE YOU TIGHT

LOVE YOU

MISS YOU

IT’S ONLY YOU THAT GETS ME THROUGH THE NIGHT

GOD KNOWS, THINGS DON’T EVER TURN OUT THE WAY I PLANNED

BUT I HOPE AND PRAY

THAT SOME DAY

YOU’LL UNDERSTAND



59

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE THINGS GOOD

TO GIVE YOU THE LIFE YOU DESERVE

I’D HAVE TOLD YOU ONE DAY – YES, I WOULD

BUT I KEPT LOSING MY NERVE

AND IT SEEMED SO MUCH BETTER

I SHOULD BETRAVELLING THE WORLD

IN SOME FANTASY

‘STEAD OF WHICH I’M A LIAR AND A CON

BUT YOU’RE THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME HOLDING ON

SORRY – WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY?

’Course you can if you want to, darling –

YOU CAN COME VISIT ANY DAY

GOD KNOWS, THERE AIN’T NOBODY ELSE I’D RATHER SEESO, THERE YOU GO

YOUR FIRST V.O. –

Got to send you this form called a Visiting Order – I’ll put it in the post

straight off, then you can come in (soon as) – oh shit, David, I forgot –

Fenner’s stopped our visits . . .

(She puts on a brave face .)

BUT I’M GONNA MAKE THINGS GOOD

NO MATTER HOW BAD IT SEEMS

I’LL BE THERE LIKE A MOTHER SHOULD BESO YOU CAN FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

YES, THINGS WILL GET BETTER

WAIT AND SEE

WE’LL WORK IT NOW

JUST YOU AND ME . . .

’COS I DON’T EVER, EVER WANT TO BE –

SO SORRY . . .

AGAIN.

(JULIE S puts the phone down and despairs.)

[SFX:

Prison sounds merge into the hissing cistern of the urinals.]

SCENE FIVE

HMP LARKHALL – MALE STAFF TOILETS. The NUMBER ONE is at the urinals with Jim,

updating him on the concerning turn of events.

NUMBER ONE We have a problem, Jim. Helen Stewart is refusing to fall on her sword. She

wants to go to tribunal.

JIM Tribunal? You can’t let her do that, sir.



60

NUMBER ONE If she insists, how can I stop her?

JIM But that’d drag out the aggro for months. Cost the taxpayer a fortune. Not to

mention the damage she could do to this prison’s good reputation.

NUMBER ONE I think you should know it’s your reputation she’s gunning for, Jim. I’ve got togo and assuage the Board of Governors.

(He sprays breath freshener in his mouth and makes to leave. JIM’S rattled .)

JIM Just proves what I told you, sir – how she’s got too close to the cons and let

herself be influenced.

NUMBER ONE Then other influences will have to be brought to bear. My responsibility is

simply to ensure that a head rolls. And much though I’d prefer it not to be

yours, Jim, whatever happens it’s not going to be mine.

(He exits, leaving JIM with the burden .)

JIM Shit . . .

(SYLVIA sneaks in .)

SYLVIA Jim –

JIM Sylvia!

SYLVIA Just tell me – how did it go?

(JIM fronts up.)

JIM In the right direction, just a slight unforeseen hold-up.

SYLVIA What’s that?

JIM Stewart still thinks she’s got a leg to stand on.

SYLVIA What, after a suicide and an all-out riot?

JIM Take one more cock-up to clinch it.

SYLVIA Any tips such as?

JIM Such as a load of Class A turning up on the Wing, for instance? Due to her

stopping our routine searches?

SYLVIA Well, a nod’s as good as a wink to me . . .

(SYLVIA exits on dancing feet. JIM straightens his tie with satisfaction.)

Music No. 11a: SCENE CHANGE

(INSTRUMENTAL)



61

SCENE SIX

HELEN’S OFFICE . HELEN’S at her desk, stewing over paperwork in the red file . JUSTIN enters.

JUSTIN Nikki Wade for you.

(He ushers NIKKI in. She’s bristling with hostility .)

HELEN Thanks, Justin. Will you wait outside?

(JUSTIN nods and exits . NIKKI confronts HELEN.)

NIKKI So what did they give you? Cushy desk-job in area management?

HELEN I wish you’d shut up and stop giving Fenner another excuse to send you down.

NIKKI I don’t need to give him one, do I? He’s a rapist – whatever he wants he takes.

HELEN And all you’ve bloody well done is play into his hands, Nikki.

NIKKI Me? You’re the naive do-gooder who thinks she can turn this place into a girl

guide camp.

HELEN I stupidly thought if I gave you another chance, at least you’d have the sense to

stay out of trouble. But no, you go and kick off a full-scale riot.

NIKKI I had no choice. Rachel Hicks died! Has anyone asked Fenner what he was

doing that night?

HELEN No. Everybody’s asking me what I was doing bringing you back on to the

wing. And I can’t answer them, can I?

NIKKI Well you can’t let Fenner win. Nobody’ll be safe in here if he gets your job.

HELEN Don’t think I don’t blame myself.

(She turns away, choking back tears .)

HELEN (cont’d) I failed. I should’ve talked to Rachel sooner. I just didn’t think for one minute

she’d go and kill herself . . .

(NIKKI’S pulled up .)

NIKKI Hey, look.

(NIKKI moves closer.)

NIKKI (cont’d) We’re on the same side, remember? We’ll fight together. Don’t beat yourself

up. Helen – please . . .



62

(NIKKI touches HELEN’S teary face – and HELEN’S that close to falling into her

arms. Then JUSTIN is suddenly at the door and they spring apart as he looks

in .)

JUSTIN Sorry, just you went very quiet and I wondered –

(NIKKI flares .)

NIKKI What, if I’d returned to my murdering ways?

(HELEN grabs up the red file, her bag and her coat .)

HELEN Take Nikki back to her cell, please. I’m going home to work on my case.

JUSTIN Right. I’ll be round straight after my shift, then?

HELEN Yeah, that’d be great.

(The penny drops for NIKKI.)

NIKKI I’ll come too shall I? Bring a bottle . . . ?

HELEN Goodnight, Nikki.

(HELEN exits, leaving NIKKI bristling with extra resentment .)

JUSTIN (to NIKKI) Right –

NIKKI See you didn’t waste much time, then. How cosy.

(NIKKI exits. JUSTIN follows, shaken. Day turns to night and we hear the night

calls start up, led by protesting YVONNE. M USIC STARTS .)

YVONNE You can’t kill us all, Fenner!

JULIE S Got nothing else to lose now, have we?

JULIE J Be scared, you bastard!

SPIKE Save your breath, he’s not listening.

NOREEN We’re all going to starve to death ’cos of you Two Julies kicking off.

KAT Yeah, least we got fed all right before.

JULIE S You can’t blame us how it’s went.

JULIE J Ain’t our fault Dockley’s a scab.

SHELL Eat shit, Wade! And you, Atkins.

(Stormy sky, dark clouds rolling past the moon .)



63

SCENE SEVEN

HELEN’S FLAT / NIKKI’S CELL – night . HELEN and NIKKI are in their separate spaces, both equally

distracted and disturbed . . .

Music No. 12: “EVERY NIGHT”

(HELEN & NIKKI)

NIKKI WHY DOES SHE DO THIS TO ME?

HOW DID I LET HER IN?

WHEN I SHOULD KNOW BY NOW TO BEWARE

HELEN WHY DOES SHE DO THIS TO ME?

HOW CAN I EVER WIN?

AND THOUGH I TELL MYSELF I DON’T CARE

BOTH SHE’S ALWAYS THERE . . .

NIKKI EVERY NIGHT I SEE HER

THE MOMENT I CLOSE MY EYES TO SLEEP

SHE’S THERE IN THE DREAMS I KEEP

IN MY HEART

HELEN EVERY NIGHT I SEE HER

SOMEHOW SHE’S ALWAYS ON MY MIND

AND MAYBE I’VE JUST BEEN BLIND

FROM THE START

BOTH ALL MY DEFENCESLIE HERE BROKEN IN TWO

I TRY TO WAKE UP AND COME TO MY SENSES

BUT THERE’S NO WAY THROUGH

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

EVERY DAY I SEE HER

DARING MY HEART TO CROSS THAT LINE

IGNORE EVERY DANGER SIGN

AND FALL

HOPELESSLY LOST

TO RISK IT ALLWHATEVER THE COST

BUT INSIDE I KNOW

I AM ONLY FALLING APART

HELEN EVERY NIGHT I SEE HER

NIKKI EVERY NIGHT I SEE HER

HELEN THE MOMENT I CLOSE MY EYES TO SLEEP

NIKKI SHE’S THERE IN MY DREAMS



64

HELEN THIS SECRET IS BURNING DEEP

NIKKI BURNING DEEP

BOTH IN MY HEART

BUT THIS IS CRAZY

WHAT AM I THINKING?

I’M LOSING MY WAY IN THE DARK

HELEN IT’S JUST TOO MUCH

NIKKI IT’S NOT ENOUGH

HELEN TO SEE HER FACE EVERY DAY

NIKKI WHEN THERE’S SO MUCH TO SAY

HELEN TO FEEL HER SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

NIKKI TO FEEL HER SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

HELEN WHEN NOTHING CAN CHANGE WHO WE ARE

NIKKI WHEN NOTHING CAN CHANGE WHO WE ARE

BUT I CAN’T LET HER GO

HELEN BUT I CAN’T LET HER KNOW

BOTH EVERY NIGHT I SEE HER

THE MOMENT I CLOSE MY EYES TO SLEEP

THIS SECRET IS BURNING DEEP

IN MY HEART

(The lights go out in the prison and the door bell rings in the flat . HELEN pulls

herself together and goes to let in JUSTIN. He hands her a bottle of vodka. He’s

out of uniform and has made an effort with his appearance .)

JUSTIN Hi.

HELEN Hi.

JUSTIN Ready for a drink?

HELEN Yeah, a large one.

(She takes the bottle and fetches glasses .)

HELEN (cont’d) You look nice.



65

(JUSTIN gives a gawky thumbs up in response then picks up the red folder and sits

on the sofa .)

JUSTIN How’s it reading?

HELEN I can fight till I drop, Justin, but I’m never going to win without a scrap ofevidence.

JUSTIN I can’t believe Rachel didn’t leave a note. Kicking myself I let Fenner go into

her cell on his own. I swear the women are right about him.

(She hands him a filled glass and raises her own .)

HELEN Well – here’s to hopeless causes.

(She slugs it back, pours another and joins him on the sofa .)

JUSTIN You’re not that, Helen. You’re . . . (He loses his nerve.)

HELEN Maybe they’re right – I don’t deserve this job. Get too emotionally involved.

JUSTIN Because you care!

(She bites back tears and he moves closer to her on the sofa .)

JUSTIN (cont’d) I’m only staying in the job myself because of you.

(He moves in for a kiss but HELEN moves away, which causes him to topple .)

HELEN Justin, don’t –

JUSTIN Oh, shit, sorry. I know you’re well out of my league.

HELEN No, it’s not that, it’s me – I’m not – Oh Jesus . . .

(She turns away .)

JUSTIN Look I know you’re under a lot of pressure . . .

HELEN It’s not that.

JUSTIN What? What is it?

(HELEN decides to bite the bullet .)

HELEN It’s Nikki Wade . . .

JUSTIN Don’t let Nikki Wade get under your skin.

HELEN She already has.



66

JUSTIN What do you mean

HELEN ( pause ) I think you know what I mean . . .

(She looks at him. He looks at her. And they both slug back their drinks as the

lights dim to black .)

SCENE EIGHT

G WING LANDING – next morning.

TANNOY Unlock will now commence. [SFX:

“Locks, bolts and bars” – echoing sounds

of multiple keys in locks as another day begins.]

(Lights up on the landing. The hungry women are slumped at the empty

tables. Justin’s on duty at the gate, lost in his own troubled thoughts. SHELL and DENNY are stuffing their faces at the servery as they tidy up. SYLVIA

patrols, a spring in her step and a smirk on her face .)

SYLVIA Last orders for breakfast. Any takers?

(NOREEN steps forward, but is pulled back by CRYSTAL.)

CRYSTAL The Lord fasted for forty days and forty nights.

NOREEN I might not live that long.

(NOREEN reluctantly falls back into place .)

SYLVIA Well, it’s your funeral.

(She exits into the office .)

SHELL Time and motion, innit Den? Less serving out, less clearing up.

(She cackles as she exits with a tray of food. And YVONNE gets to her feet .)

YVONNE I’m gonna work on the weakest link.

(She pitches up in front of DENNY.)

YVONNE (cont’d) You’re making a big mistake, Denny. Running around with that screw’s slag.

DENNY Yeah? Well a tray of sausages to meself says you don’t know shit, innit?

YVONNE Is that all you want out of life – Dockley’s leftovers?

DENNY It’ll be you lot’s screwed when Fenner’s boss. Me and Shell’s gonna get special

everything then.



67

YVONNE Listen to me, Denny. I know you’ve had a tough life – children’s homes and

that. No wonder you want to be special to somebody. But what you’re really

looking for is a mum, yeah?

DENNY What are you? Some sort of undercover probation officer?

YVONNE I’m trying to give you a break, Denny.

DENNY Why don’t you leave me alone?

YVONNE ’Cos maybe I need a second chance an’ all. For being a lousy mum to my own

kids. But I can’t make it up to them cos one’s dead and the other’s doing life

for murder. So – what do you reckon?

DENNY (rattled ) Reckon you’re just trying to mess with my head.

YVONNE Oh do yourself a favour, love. Do Dockley one too. Cos if she thinks she’sanything special to Fenner? You know what that bastard’s about. He’ll bin her

off like a shot. And where will you be then, Den?

DENNY (gesturing with a sausage ) Up yours, Atkins.

(And she exits after SHELL. YVONNE returns to the table, frustrated .)

YVONNE She’s her own worst enemy, that one.

NIKKI She can’t see past Dockley.

(She heads off to brood by herself .)

JULIE S We’re stuffed, ain’t we?

JULIE J Stuffed.

YVONNE That’s the one thing we ain’t.

(As Justin crosses in front of them, going about his duties, they eye up his

passing bum .)

YVONNE (cont’d) (to the JULIES) You know, I can do without food. I can even do without booze.

But I can’t do without . . .

JULIE S Don’t go there.

JULIE J I don’t

JULIE S Nor me.

JULIE J No way.

JULIE S Who needs it?



68

TWO JULIES Not us.

YVONNE Oh yeah? I can’t think about nothing else most nights.

JULIE S Well you should be ashamed of yourself at a time like this.

JULIE J Should be thinking about what happened to poor Rachel.

(Drum intro starts – and all three are gazing at JUSTIN.)

YVONNE Yeah. But let’s face it, ain’t nothing like death to whet your appetite for life.

(They give up pretending .)

Music No. 13: “ALL BANGED UP”

(YVONNE & THE TWO JULIES)

YVONNE & JULIES WE’RE ALL BANGED UP WITHOUT THE BANG

WE’VE GOT THE GO BUT THERE’S NO FAN DANG

HOW’S ANY GIRL MEANT TO DO HER THANG

WHEN SHE’S ALL BANGED UP ALONE?

YVONNE WE’RE ALL BANGED UP WITHOUT THE BANG

JULIE S THIS LITTLE CHASSIS NEEDS A FULL FRONT PRANG

JULIE J I’M LIKE A VAMPIRE WITHOUT A FANG

YVONNE

& JULIES AND WE’RE ALL VAMPED UP ALONE

AND THOUGH WE TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT

ALL THE PLEASURES WE MISS

THERE’S BUGGER ALL ELSE TO THINK ABOUT

WHEN YOU’RE DUMPED IN A HELLHOLE LIKE THIS

DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY

THESE ASSETS ARE WASTING AWAY

WE’RE ALL BANGED UP WITHOUT THE BANG

WE GET THE TWINGES BUT WHERE’S OUR TWANG?

WHIPPED TO A PEAK LIKE A STIFF MERINGUE

BUT WE’RE ALL WHIPPED UP ALONE

(They make a bee-line towards unsuspecting JUSTIN.)

YVONNE

& JULIES (cont’d) BANG BANG!

BANG!

BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG!



69

(YVONNE toys with him .)

YVONNE I WANT TO FEEL THE WEIGHT OF A HANDSOME HUNK

LYING ON TOP OF ME IN MY BUNK

AND WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN, SO DOES HE

‘TIL EVERYTHING GOES TING-A-LING INSIDE OF ME

DON’T WANNA FALL IN LOVE, I DON’T EXPECT ROMANCE

I JUST WANT SOME ACTION INSIDE MY PANTS

I NEVER THOUGHT DESIRE COULD BE SO STRONG

NEVER THOUGHT I’D EVER HAVE TO GO SO LONG

JULIES IT’S JUST

YVONNE IT’S JUST

JULIES A LITTLE THRUST

YVONNE A LITTLE THRUST

YVONNE

& JULIES IT MUST BE THE LEAST YOU CAN DO

JULIES YOU’RE A SCREW

YVONNE YOU’RE A SCREW

JULIES WE CAN TRUST

YVONNE WE CAN TRUST

YVONNE

& JULIES AND OUR WELFARE IS ALL DOWN TO YOU

NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT

THINK OF OUR DESPERATE PLIGHT

JUSTIN You really should try and eat something.

(JUSTIN escapes.)

YVONNE

& JULIES WE’RE ALL BANGED UP WITHOUT THE BANG

WE’VE GOT THE GO BUT THERE’S NO FAN DANG

HOW’S ANY GIRL MEANT TO DO HER THANG

WHEN SHE’S ALL BANGED UP ALONE

WE’RE ALL BANGED UP WITHOUT THE BANG

NOBODY WANTS TO BE IN OUR GANG

WE COULDN’T CARE LESS IF SPRING JUST SPRANG

IF THE QUEEN JUST RANGTHEY CAN ALL GO HANG



71

SYLVIA We’re conducting a drugs search in this servery.

SHELL There ain’t no drugs round here.

SYLVIA Then we won’t find any, will we? But if we do, we’ll obviously know whose

they are.

(CRYSTAL’S self-righteous .)

CRYSTAL What I been saying, innit?

(SYLVIA bobs under the counter and produces the sugar jar .)

SYLVIA What’s in here?

SHELL What it says, innit? Sugar.

(SYLVIA removes the lid and peers inside .)

SYLVIA And since when did sugar come individually wrapped by the gram? Looks like

cocaine to us, Dockley.

NOREEN D’you want me to do a taste test, Miss?

SYLVIA Shut it, Biggs.

SHELL Well someone’s lying if they told you it’s mine. And it ain’t hers, neither, is it

Den?

DENNY Give mine to Shell to stash in her cell, innit?

SHELL No you never!

DENNY Eh?

SYLVIA Take Dockley down the block, Mr Mattison. I’ll take this off to the lab and

report to Mr Fenner.

CRYSTAL Hallelujah!

SYLVIA Then get the rest of them banged up.

CRYSTAL Eh?

(SYLVIA exits with the sugar jar, leaving SHELL reeling and the other women

protesting. NIKKI takes YVONNE and the JULIES aside for an urgent word .)

PRISONERS Can’t bang us up? / What’ve we done? / It’s Dockley’s brung drugs in. / Do

her! / Ain’t our bleeding fault.

SHELL They ain’t my drugs in that jar! I been framed, innit? Somebody’s frigging fit me up.



72

NIKKI Got it in one, Dockley.

SHELL Eh?

NIKKI Who do you think?

SHELL It’s you, innit! (To JUSTIN.) It’s her, sir!

JUSTIN Nikki’s not your enemy, Dockley. And I’m not taking my orders from

Bodybag.

YVONNE

& JULIES Whoooh!

NOREEN Shit me, what’s this? Screw against screw?

NIKKI He’s trying to help us screw Fenner.

SHELL You what?

YVONNE Who is it wants to shaft Miss Stewart so he can get her job? (To SHELL.) And

the pick of any new girl he fancies?

PRISONERS Fenner!

JUSTIN Who else?

YVONNE (to DENNY) Trust me now?

(DENNY does. And confronts SHELL.)

DENNY Like obvious, innit Shell?

SHELL Don’t talk dribble. Me and him’s got a deal.

NOREEN He’s just using you, you soppy cow.

SHELL No, I’m his eyes and ears, right?

JULIE S Tits and arse, more like.

JULIE J As in yesterday’s, right?

(Music intro .)

Music No. 14: “THE BADDEST AND THE BEST”

(NIKKI, DENNY, JUSTIN & PRISONERS)

NIKKI YOU’D BETTER WISE UP

TO THE WAY THIS IS GOING DOWNFOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE USE YOUR BRAIN



74

NIKKI So? Are you in with us?

YVONNE Or just out for yourself?

DENNY Go on, Shell . . .

PRISONERS

& JUSTIN THE BADDEST

THE BADDEST

THE BADDEST AND THE BEST

(SHELL considers for a moment .)

SHELL Yeah, all right.

(A big cheer goes up .)

SHELL (cont’d) (to DENNY) I could get used to this solidarity shit.

NIKKI Right, everyone? Let’s go to work.

(The women disperse . YVONNE gets on the phone to her gangster husband .)

YVONNE (into phone ) Charlie, it’s me. Do us a favour, darling? I need a state of the art

wireless minicam and receiver unit, some extra-long-length line-out cable, a

couple of male and female adaptors to link it up to the main security system,

and like yesterday, yeah?

(A parcel flies over the prison wall, to be caught by JUSTIN who unwraps it.

It’s the minicam, as requested . JUSTIN gives the camera to KAT.)

YVONNE (cont’d) (ending call ) Thanks, Charlie.

IMPRESSED?

IF YOU’RE GONNA BE BAD

PRISONERS

& JUSTIN IF YOU’RE GONNA BE BAD

YVONNE YOU GOTTA GET THE BADDEST AND THE BEST

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO IT’S WHO YOU KNOW

PUT IT TO THE TEST

YVONNE (cont’d) NO YOU DON’T GET MAD

PRISONERS

& JUSTIN YOU DON’T GET MAD

YVONNE YOU JUST GET BADDER THAN ALL THE REST

HIT HIM HARD AND HIT HIM LOWDO YOUR BADDEST AND YOUR BEST!



75

(YVONNE enjoys a cigarette while the others do their bit: CRYSTAL and

NOREEN break into the filing cabinet in the P.O.s’ Office, using a hairpin from

CRYSTAL’S headwrap and NOREEN’S lock-picking skills to steal the keys to the

security monitor room .)

CRYSTAL AND I’M SURE THE LORD WILL UNDERSTANDIF WE HAS TO BE A LITTLE BIT UNDERHAND

WHEN YOU’RE OUT TO SMITE THE DEVIL

YOU GOTTA SINK DOWN TO HIS LEVEL

(SHELL takes up position for her makeover, while Denny stands lookout at the

door . The JULIES kit SHELL out in a sexy corset, stetson and cowboy boots .)

TWO JULIES WE’LL FIX YOU UP TO LOOK SO NICE

HE WON’T THINK TWICE

BEFORE HE MAKES HIS MOVE

IT’S AN EASY CASE TO PROVE

(JUSTIN and NIKKI connect the cables to the prison security monitor system.

Meanwhile, K AT is experimenting with the now live camera and the shots she

gets are seen on the bank of monitors that JUSTIN and NIKKI have been

working on. Extreme close-ups in true rock ‘n’ roll video fashion form the

backdrop to the rest of the song as KAT experiments with the camera .)

JUSTIN AND WHEN IT’S UP THERE ON THAT SCREEN

WHEN THE TRUTH IS FINALLY SEEN . . .

(DENNY gets carried away by the excitement of it all .)

DENNY YOU’RE GONNA BE A TV STAR

AND THE WHOLE WORLD’S GONNA KNOW WHO YOU ARE

YOU’LL BE THE BEST THERE’S EVER BEEN

SHELL Now that bad, bad man is gonna rot in hell

DENNY HE’S GOING ROT AWAY IN HELL

SHELL I’LL MAKE HIM WISH WE’D NEVER MET

DENNY HE’S GONNA WISH HE NEVER EVER MET YOU

SHELL ’COS I’M IN THE MOOD

DENNY IN THE MOOD

SHELL FOR A GOODNIGHT KISS AND TELL

DENNY FOR A GOODNIGHT KISS AND TELL

SHELL THIS’LL BE A FACE HE WON’T FORGET



76

DENNY HE AIN’T NEVER EVER GONNA FORGET YOU

SHELL & DENNY AND HE’LL BE HISTORY BEFORE THE DAY IS DONE

WE MAY BE CRAZY BUT REVENGE IS FUN

IF YOU’RE GONNA BE BAD

PRISONERS

& JUSTIN IF YOU’RE GONNA BE BAD

SHELL & DENNY YOU GOTTA BE THE BADDEST AND THE BEST

ALL DON’T GET MESSED AROUND AND TRAMPLED DOWN

GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST

SHELL & DENNY NO YOU DON’T GET MAD

PRISONERS & JUSTIN YOU DON’T GET MAD

ALL YOU JUST GET BADDER THAN ALL THE REST

SHELL WHO’S THE BADDEST GIRL IN TOWN?

PRISONERS

& JUSTIN THE BADDEST, THE BADDEST

THE BADDEST AND THE BEST

THE BADDEST, THE BADDEST

THE BADDEST OF THE BADDESTAND THE BADDEST AND THE BEST!

(There’s a flash / bang as the wiring sparks, the screens go fuzzy and then

return to normal .)

NIKKI (to YVONNE) Your camera may be state of the art, but you can’t say the same

about that wiring.

JUSTIN (to SHELL) All set?

SHELL You bet.

DENNY Good luck, Shell.

SHELL I don’t need luck.

YVONNE Just don’t screw up.

JUSTIN Okay, everybody else get back in your cells, yeah?

(JUSTIN leads SHELL out and the other women hurry off to their cells .)

Music No. 14: SCENE CHANGE

(INSTRUMENTAL)



77

SCENE NINE

SEG BLOCK CELL. JUSTIN is putting the camera up on the seg block wall .

JUSTIN Make sure you get his face in view.

SHELL He’ll be ready for his close-up, don’t worry.

JUSTIN He’d better be. When I flick that switch to over-ride I don’t want the Number

One looking at a blank screen.

SHELL You deliver the audience, I’ll deliver the show.

(JUSTIN exits. Shell removes a bag of white powder and a straw from her

cleavage and snorts a quick line on the lid of the toilet. Then SHELL hears a

key in the door, and sits on her solitary bunk, ‘disconsolate’, as JIM unlocks

and enters, impatient .)

JIM Shell?

SHELL Jim!

JIM Yee-ha!

SHELL Been doing my nut waiting for you. Bodybag’s set me up on this drugs rap.

(JIM shoves the piss pot at her .)

JIM Just piss in the pot, will you?

SHELL Eh? Saying you want me to test positive?

JIM Look, I’m trying to get rid of Stewart for being soft on drugs. But if you don’t

trust me, love – well, that’s the end of it.

(He makes to go – and she leaps after him .)

SHELL No – Jim – wait.

JIM Too late.

SHELL No – no – you got me wrong. ’Course I trust you to do right by me. Always

have done, yeah? I was just – you know – just thought you’d gone off me.

JIM Better make me believe I can still get what I want from you, then.

(Music intro starts up .)

SHELL All yours for the taking, innit?

(SHELL takes the lead – and coaxes JIM into action .)



78

Music No. 15: “FIRST LADY”

(JIM & SHELL)

SHELL (cont’d) I NEED A MAN WITH HIS HAND ON THE WHEEL

WHO HAS THE POWER TO GO FAR

JIM Yep. You bet. All the way to the top.

SHELL YOU NEED A WOMAN TO SHOW YOU THE WAY TO REVEAL

WHAT KIND OF MAN YOU TRULY ARE

JIM Oh I’ll reveal everything, darling.

SHELL IT’S JUST THE TWO OF US WITH NO ONE ELSE TO SEE

SO WHY NOT START REVEALING YOURSELF TO ME?

I’LL BE YOUR

FIRST LADY OF THE NIGHTWON’T YOU COME OUT AND PLAY

I’M TAKING YOU ALL THE WAY

IF YOU CAN GO THE DISTANCE

I’LL OFFER NO RESISTANCE

YOU KNOW WE’VE ALWAYS BEEN SO RIGHT

I’M YOUR FIRST LADY OF THE NIGHT

JIM BUT LET’S NOT FORGET, LOVE, THAT A MAN NEEDS HIS SPACE

TO COME AND GO AS HE MAY PLEASE

SHELL Don’t you worry about that, Jim.

YOU CAN BE SURE THAT A WOMAN LIKE ME KNOWS HER PLACE

I’LL BE HERE WAITING ON MY KNEES

BOTH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TREATS YOU HAVE IN STORE

I’M GONNA HAVE YOU LIKE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN HAD BEFORE

SHELL I’LL BE YOUR

BOTH FIRST LADY OF THE NIGHT

TURN ALL THE LIGHTS DOWN LOWWE’RE IN FOR AN ALL NIGHT SHOW

JUST GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION

’COS IN THIS SITUATION

YOU CAN’T DENY IT FEELS SO RIGHT

YOU’RE MY/ I’M YOUR

FIRST LADY OF THE NIGHT.

YOU REALLY ROCK ME OFF MY FEET

MAYBE IT’S MEANT TO BE

TOGETHER WE COULD HAVE THIS WHOLE WORLD IN OUR HANDS

BABY WE’RE TURNING UP THE HEATTHIS IS YOUR DESTINY



79

YOU AND ME

WE GOT SOMETHING NO ONE UNDERSTANDS

(As JIM melts under her spell, SHELL removes the key chain and handcuffs

from his belt, under the guise of sex play. Meanwhile JUSTIN leads SYLVIA,

HELEN and the NUMBER ONE into the security room .)

FIRST LADY OF THE NIGHT

TURN ALL THE LIGHTS DOWN LOW

WE’RE IN FOR AN ALL NIGHT SHOW

JUST GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION

’COS IN THIS SITUATION

YOU KNOW WE’VE ALWAYS BEEN SO RIGHT

YOU’RE MY / I’M YOUR

FIRST LADY

JIM MY FIRST –

SHELL AND ONLY

BOTH LADY OF THE NIGHT.

(The number concludes with SHELL sitting astride JIM, who is now handcuffed

to the bed. As JIM grunts and SHELL grinds, JUSTIN flicks the switch in the

security control room to override the system. The bank of security monitor

screens starts to fill up with images of illicit officer /inmate activity, oblique at

first, then becoming more and more explicitly sexual. Then, for the first time ,

JIM’S face is clear for all to see on the screens .)

Jim Ah-ah-ah-ah . . .

(Music [No. 15a] continues under the following.)

NUMBER ONE (over tannoy ) Mr. Fenner!!!

(JIM jolts, aghast, and SHELL points to the camera with triumphant glee .)

SHELL Smile for the camera, ‘sir’!

(The screens fill with big close-ups of JIM’S face, frozen in horror, as he

realises how spectacularly he has been caught.)

NUMBER ONE (over tannoy ) Security to the seg block – now! Detain Principal Officer

Fenner. And call the police!

(Then all the screens suddenly fill up with a flaming flash which sizzles along

the circuitry – and the whole scene goes black.)

SHELL (to JIM) Ooops! Looks like the electrics just went on the blink.

(She flicks on her lighter . JIM panics .)



80

JIM Give me the key.

SHELL The what?

JIM Give me the bloody key, you stupid bitch. I’ve gotta get out of here.

(SHELL takes stock. This is an interesting situation .)

SHELL Well that ain’t a very nice way to talk to your special lady.

JIM Please, Shell.

SHELL I dunno. These old electrics, they was an accident waiting to happen, innit?

Shell flicks her lighter and considers for a moment . . .

JIM What . . .?

(She holds the lighter to the mattress and proceeds to set fire to it .)

JIM (cont’d) What the hell are you doing?

SHELL Sparks can catch hold anywhere . . .

JIM No! Shell! Stop – please – I’m begging you.

SHELL Since when did them words mean anything to you?

JIM I’ll fess up to everything – I swear – just unlock these cuffs!

SHELL I tried to, didn’t I? But I just couldn’t find the key.

JIM For God’s sake, Shell.

(She swings his key chain up in the air and drops it down the loo .)

SHELL Help! Fire!

(And she leaps out of the cell as it bursts into flames .)

JIM Aaargh!!!

Music No. 15a: “THE BADDEST AND THE BEST” REPRISE

(SHELL & CHORUS – chorus remains unseen throughout )

(SHELL sings against a wall of fire.)

SHELL & CHORUS IF YOU’RE GONNA BE BAD

YOU GOTTA BE THE BADDEST AND THE BEST

DON’T GET MESSED AROUND AND TRAMPLED DOWN

GET IT OFF YOUR CHESTNO YOU DON’T GET MAD



81

YOU JUST GET BADDER THAN ALL THE REST

WHO’S THE BADDEST GIRL IN TOWN?

THE BADDEST AND THE BEST!

(She legs it – ‘in distress’ – and the scene dissolves in smoke, as a cacophony of

fire, police and ambulance sirens rise and fall . . . )

(Blackout.)

SCENE TEN

G WING – The end of a new day. The women and JUSTIN are gathered in an uneasy mood as

SHELL returns, jubilant.

PRISONERS Could’ve killed us all! / What if the whole place had gone up? / We could all

get done for it, now. (etc.)

SHELL Big me up, sisters!

(She’s bemused as they blank her. She grabs DENNY.)

SHELL (cont’d) Bothered? ‘Ere Den, you’d’ve loved it. Fenner was screaming and crapping

himself. I’d’ve pissed meself laughing, but I didn’t wanna put the fire out!

DENNY You’re sick, man. You shouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t part of the plan.

(SHELL is gob-smacked .)

SHELL It was pay back time!

YVONNE You’re on your own, Dockley.

(She puts her arm round DENNY. SYLVIA enters, followed by the NUMBER ONE

with HELEN.)

SYLVIA Quiet, you lot!

NUMBER ONE Thank you, Mrs Hollamby.

(He addresses the assembled inmates of G Wing, flanked by HELEN, SYLVIA

and JUSTIN. SHELL stands to one side, head held defiantly high .)

NUMBER ONE

(cont’d) I have here the report resulting from the official inquiry into events subsequent

to the previous – and I can only say I wish that your concerns about Mr

Fenner had been brought to my attention earlier.

(The women hiss and jeer .)

NIKKI Why didn’t you listen to us before then?



82

CRYSTAL Too busy playing golf!

NOREEN You should be sacked, you old bastard!

NUMBER ONE Silence!

(The women hold fire .)

NUMBER ONE

(cont’d) (to ALL) I assure you, Mr Fenner will be brought to Justice as soon as he’s fit

to be discharged from hospital.

NOREEN Aw – what, he didn’t snuff it, then? Better luck next time.

NUMBER ONE Michelle Dockley – the report commends your bravery under duress, for

which you will be granted all due consideration by the parole board. And

now, I entrust you all to the good governance of Miss Stewart.

(The NUMBER ONE goes to leave as SYLVIA hurries after him and they both

exit .)

SYLVIA Oh, sir. I need to talk to you about my back. I really don’t know if I’m up to

these double shifts . . .

(SHELL crows .)

YVONNE Hey, girls. We got something else to celebrate today. Somebody’s twenty-first

birthday isn’t it, Denny?

DENNY How do you know that?

NOREEN Told you she was a witch.

DENNY I ain’t never had a proper birthday.

YVONNE You ain’t never had a lot of things, love. But – I’m gonna sort that. If you’ll let

me. (She looks at her watch ) Just right about . . .

ALL Five, four, three, two . . . one!

(And suddenly we hear fireworks going off outside the prison window.)

YVONNE Happy Birthday, Den. The key to the door.

KAT Fireworks!

(Oohs and aahs from the women.)

YVONNE Can we go outside and watch ’em, Miss?

HELEN Mr Mattison? Would you – ?



83

JUSTIN Right, you lot. You’ve got five minutes. Be good.

JULIE S Oh, we will, sir!

JULIE J We will, sir!

(JUSTIN ushers the women outside .)

JUSTIN (to YVONNE) After you.

(Music begins . HELEN waits.)

HELEN Nikki – can I have a word.

(NIKKI hangs back .)

HELEN (cont’d) So, you could be out next week, now Fenner’s not around to screw up yourappeal. There’s nothing stopping you. Right?

NIKKI I’m not stopping. I’m going to start up the mother of all campaign groups,

fight the whole bastard system.

HELEN So we’re not going to get rid of you that easily, then?

NIKKI I’m hoping you won’t want to.

HELEN I think I know what I want . . .

(They kiss. Then HELEN pulls back.)

HELEN (cont’d) When you’re free.

Music No. 16: “THIS IS MY LIFE”

(HELEN, NIKKI & PRISONERS)

NIKKI I’M GONNA BE THERE

THAT’S A PROMISE I WON’T BREAK

HELEN I’M GONNA BE THERE

WATCHING OVER EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE

NIKKI THIS IS MY LIFE

I’M LIVING IT

HELEN THIS IS YOUR LIFE

KEEP GIVING IT

EVERYTHING YOU CAN –

NIKKI & HELEN AND I’M GONNA BE THERE . . .

(HELEN exits . NIKKI is left in a dream .)



84

SCENE ELEVEN

EXERCISE YARD – EVENING. The other women are cheering the fireworks, as NIKKI joins them.

And now she’s feeling the odd one out . The JULIES bring her into the group.

JULIE J Come on, Nik.

JULIE S When one of us gets out –

TWO JULIES She gets out for all of us, yeah?

NIKKI Yeah . . .

NIKKI (cont’d) ALL OUR TOMORROWS START TODAY

GOTTA THROW THOSE FEARS AND DOUBTS AWAY

’COS NOBODY TELLS YOU WHO YOU ARE

YVONNE THE PAST CAN’T HURT US NOW IT’S GONE

THIS IS THE TIME FOR MOVING ON

DON’T HOLD BACK NOW WE’VE COME SO FAR

NIKKI AND WE ALL KNOW JUST HOW HARD IT CAN BE

WHEN YOU’RE FACING THAT TEN FOOT WALL

BUT IF YOU ALL STAND TOGETHER WITH ME

WE’RE GONNA SEE IT FALL

I’M GONNA BE THERE

PRISONERS I’M GONNA BE THERE

NIKKI I WILL BE THE FIRST IN LINE


PRISONERS I’M GONNA BE THERE

NIKKI I’M GOING OUT AND TAKING BACK WHAT’S MINE

ALL THIS IS MY LIFE

I’M LIVING ITTHIS IS MY LIFE

I’M GIVING IT

EVERYTHING I CAN –

TO MAKE IT GOOD

I HAVE PLANS AND I HAVE DREAMS

THOUGH MAYBE SOME OF THEM ARE JUST CRAZY SCHEMES

BUT STILL I

WANNA TRY

TO BE SOMEONE

JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE AND I’M GONNA TAKE ITTO ESCAPE FROM THE CYCLE AND BREAK IT



85

I WANNA SHOW THEM WHY

I AM SOMEONE

AND WHEN I MAKE IT OUT OF THIS PLACE

FROM THE MOMENT I WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR

WHATEVER SHIT LIFE THROWS IN MY FACEI AM NOT GONNA TAKE ANY MORE

I’M HEADING ON MY WAY

TO WHERE I WANT TO BE

JULIE S ON A BEACH

JULIE J WITH OUR KIDS

TWO JULIES KICKING SAND FROM OUR SHOES

NIKKI THERE’S A BAR

YVONNE THERE’S A BAR

CRYSTAL

& YVONNE WHERE I’M SINGING THE BLUES

SHELL & DENNY GETTING WASTED ON CHEAP FOREIGN BOOZE

ALL BUT IF THAT IS THE LIFE I CHOSE

IF THAT IS THE LIFE I CHOSE

I’M GONNA BE THEREI’VE GOT TO BE THERE


I WANT TO BE THERE!

(As the song reaches its climax, we suddenly see the overhead light and hear

the deafening noise of the propellers of a helicopter as it descends. A rope

ladder is lowered down .)

PRISONERS Eh? What’s going on? / Bloody Hell! / I don’t believe it! / Magic! (etc.)

YVONNE Sorry, girls. Looks like my cab’s arrived. Oi, Den – fancy a ride?

DENNY Wicked, man!

(YVONNE leads DENNY over to the ladder and they both grab hold .)

YVONNE (to NIKKI) Say sorry to Miss Stewart for me, I’d love to stay and help but I’m a

bit old for all that bollocks. I’m doing my time in Spain.

(SHELL tries to remonstrate with DENNY.)

SHELL Oi Den! Where the hell d’you think you’re going?



86

YVONNE She’s going home.

Music No. 16a: “THIS IS MY LIFE” – PLAYOFF

(OPTIONAL INSTRUMENTAL)

(The helicopter starts to rise again and they are lifted up and out over the wall

to freedom .)

THE END

Music No. 17: CURTAIN CALL

(YVONNE AND PRISONERS)

Music No. 18: PLAYOFF

(OPTIONAL INSTRUMENTAL)



BAD GIRLSTHE MUSICAL

Book by

MAUREEN CHADWICK & ANN MCMANUS

Music and Lyrics by

KATH GOTTS

Originally directed by Maggie NorrisOrchestrations by Martin Koch

VOCAL BOOK

Josef Weinberger Limited 12 - 14 Mortimer Street

London W1T 3JJTel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 9616

[email protected] www.josef-weinberger.com



BAD GIRLS – THE MUSICAL

© Copyright 2007 by Maureen Chadwick, Kath Gotts and Ann McManus

All Rights Reserved

PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL

Applications to perform this musical must be made,

BEFORE REHEARSALS COMMENCE, to:

JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED

12 - 14 Mortimer Street

London W1T 3JJ

United Kingdom

Tel: +44 (0)20 7580 2827

Fax: +44 (0)20 7436 9616

www.josef-weinberger.com

December 2008



MUSICAL NUMBERS

CT ONE

SCENE TWO

1. I Shouldn’t Be Here (Prisoners)................................................... 1

SCENE THREE

2. Guardian Angel (Shell and Denny) ........................................... 13

SCENE FOUR

3. Jailcraft (Jim and Sylvia).......................................................... 18

SCENE FIVE

4. One Moment (Nikki)............................................................... 22

SCENE SIX

5. Life Of Grime (The Two Julies and Prisoners).......................... 25

6. The A-List (Yvonne and Prisoners)........................................... 31

SCENE EIGHT

7. The Key (Jim) .......................................................................... 39

SCENE NINE

8. The Way It Is (Company)......................................................... 44

8a. Riot Music (Instrumental)........................................................ 46

CT TWO

SCENE ONE

9. Freedom Road (Crystal and Chorus) ........................................ 47



SCENE TWO

10. The Future Is Bright (Jim, Sylvia and Officers) ......................... 52

10a. The Future Is Bright – Playoff (Instrumental)............................ 59

SCENE FOUR

11. Sorry (Julie S) .......................................................................... 59

11a. Scene Change (Instrumental) .................................................... 62

SCENE SEVEN

12. Every Night (Helen and Nikki)................................................. 63

SCENE EIGHT

13. All Banged Up (Yvonne and The Two Julies) ........................... 67

14. The Baddest And The Best (Nikki, Denny, Justin, Prisoners) .... 73

14a. Scene Change (Instrumental) .................................................... 80

SCENE NINE

15. First Lady (Jim and Shell)......................................................... 81

15a. The Baddest And The Best – Reprise (Shell and Chorus)........... 86

SCENE TEN / ELEVEN

16. This Is My Life (Helen, Nikki, Yvonne and Prisoners).............. 87

16a. This Is My Life – Optional Playoff (Instrumental) .................... 93

17. Curtain Call (Yvonne and Prisoners) ........................................ 94

18. Playoff (Optional) (Instrumental).............................................95



q = 105

(Prisoners)

ACT I

1. I Shouldn't Be Here

© Copyright 2007 by Maureen Chadwick, Kath Gotts and Ann McManusOrchestrations © Koch & GilpinPHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL

BAD GIRLS

Shell: Shell Dockley

Kbd. 2

Lifer . . .

Murder . . .

Well, just a bit of torture, really . . .

Didn't expect the dozy twatto go and die on me! . . .

6

Pathetic!

But

m

Shell

no

one

- mess es- with

my

man,

And gets a way

- with their

9

face in tact.

-

It's an ob

vi- ous- fact,

I was bound

to re act,

-

That

12

dou ble- D

cup slap

per,

-

Was gon

na- get whacked!

mp

I should

n't-

15

A q = 128

be

here.

Crystal: Crystal Gordon . . .

12 months . . .

19

Shoplifting . . .

But the good book says the Lord helpsthem who help themselves, innit?

All

m

Crystal

them

shops

go

flaunt

ing - their

goods

in your

22

face,

It's ask

- ing for

grief,

man,

In the

circ

um

- stance-

of my



26

case,

It's my

belief

that

I

was

29

doing

it

for

Je

sus,-

I

was

33

do ing

- it

for

Je

sus.-

B q = 18436

Like

he did

in the tem

ple

- sto

ry,

-

For the Lord

God's

39

great er

- glo

ry,

-

But in stead

- of

chuck

ing

- it

down

off

the

shelf,

I

44

stuffed

it in

my

ruck-

sack -

And

kept

it

for my

self,-

48

C q = 100

mp

I

should n't

- be

here.

Denny: Denny Blood . . 7 years . .

52

Arson... It was a rubbish kids home anyway....

Denny

I want

ed- a

55

life,

I want

ed- a mum,

They said

if you're

2



57

good,

Den,

May be- one

day

she might come,

So I

59

wait,

And I wait,

And I

61

start

to think

they must think

I'm

real ly - dumb,

'Cos

she weren't

63

ne

ver,-

e

ver-

gon na- come,

So I poured

Colla voce q = 9265

pet rol-

all round

their kitch

en- floor,

Threw in a- match

and slammed

the door,

And

69

now,

I don't wait for no

one

-

a ny - more.

-

Dq = 100 (poco più mosso)

73

Fl / Cl / Tpt

Julie S: Julie Saunders.

Julie J: Julie Johnston

Julie S:2 years...

Julie J:2 years...

Julie S:Soliciting...

Julie J: And thieving....

Both: Together!

Julie S.

m

The

Julie J.

m

The

77

old

est- pro fess

- ion- in

the book,

Com bined

with a side

line-

in the wall

ets- that

we

old

est- pro fess

- ion- in

the book,

Com bined

-

with a side

line-

in the wall

ets that

we

3



80

took,

Don't you find

these days it 's all

for the school

fees

and

not for

the fun,

You

took, You

83

have to plan

a head-

now

for ev

'ry

- lit tle- one,

For choi

ces

- pa

ren

- tal,

-

have to plan

a head-

now

for ev

'ry

- lit tle- one,

86

That's how

my trou

bles- first

be gun,

-

Dosh is

fun da- men

- tal,-

Gon na- get

my kids

back one day,

89

But I thought

I owed

it to my son,

I should

n't- be

here,

I

should n't- be

here,

92 E q = 140

Nikki:Nikki Wade. Lifer . . .

"Cop killer" . .

But, hey, at least that's one less rapist in the world.

98

Nikki

No

mp

bod

- y's- he

ro,

-

Some bod- y's- fool,

4



103

Don't go

mis tak

- ing

- me

for,

some bod- y who'll,

-

106

ev er

- give

a damn,

For

what they

think

I

110

am,

I should

n't- be

here,

I don't

wan na-

113

be

here,

But

here

I

am,___

All Prisoners

Here I

F117

Here I

am,

When I

Here I

am,

And one

thing

is

clear,

When I

am,

Here I

am,

And one

thing

is

clear,

When I

121

take

a good

look

a

round

- me,

I

should

n't

- be

here!

take

a good

look

a

round

- me,

I

should

n't

- be

here!

take

a good

look

a

round

- me,

I

should

n't

- be

here!

5



139

I know it may

not be

much,

But I

was

some

one,

-

I

(unis.)

know it may

not be

much,

But I

was

some

one,

-

142

Some

one's

sis ter,-

daugh ter,-

moth-er,

Just a

girl

like

a

ny -

Some

one's

sis ter,-

daugh ter,-

moth-er,

Just a

girl

like

a

ny -

146

oth er,

-

So may be- I'm

out of

touch,

But

still I'm

some

one,

-

oth er,

-

So may be- I'm

out of

touch,

But

still I'm

some

one,

-

150

And

m

when

they slam

that

door

ev ery - night,

And

m

when

they slam

that

door

ev ery - night,

153

And I'm

a lone

- in

my

bed,

I es

cape-

where it's safe

And I'm

a lone

- in

my

bed,

I es

cape-

where it's safe

7



156

out of sight,

To the world

that I keep

in

my

head,

out of sight,

To the

world that I keep

in

my head,

159

That's

where I

hide

my

self,-

Out of

reach

from

the

That's

where I

hide

my

self,-

Out of

reach

from

the

162

screws,

Julie S.

On

m

a

beach,

kick ing

- sand

from our

shoes,

screws,

Julie J.

With

m

our

kids

kick ing - sand

from our

shoes,

Nikki

There's a bar,

165

There's

Crystal

a

bar

where I'm sing

ing

- the

blues,

Get

Shell/Denny

ting - wast

ed- on cheap

168

fo reign- booze,

All

I can

go

where I

chose,

cresc.

All

I can

go

where I

chose,

cresc

8



H171

I

I've

got

no

thing

- to

lose.

Jim:Right, you lot. Breakfast. Move it!

Sylvia: You two - serve out the swill.

I've

got

no

thing

- to

lose.

175

The rest of you - line up at your trough.

II

should n't- be here,

This is n't- me here,

II

should n't- be

here,

This is n't- me

here,

II

should n't- be

here,

This is n't- me

here,

179

This is

not

my

life,

Sylvia: Move it!

Give me

back

my

life.

Jim: Shut it!

This is

not

my

life,

Give me

back

my

life.

This is

not

my

life,

Give me

back

my

life.

9



= 127

1b. I Shouldn't Be Here - Part Two

Kbd

5

Kbd

13

A

[Vamp]

Kbd

Cue: Fresh meat? Better than leftovers.

B33

37

40C

[Vamp]Kbd

Exit Cue: Helen, just remember . . . place withtwo types of people in it: us and them.

10



1c. I Shouldn’t Be Here - Part Three

[Cue: . . . us and them.]

May

Helen

be- I'm a fool

to think

that I

could

do

some

good,

4

But if I

did n't- think

I

could,

I

would n't

-

7

be

here,

Now I have a chance

to real

ly

- do

11

this

my own

way

I

won't

let

a

ny

- one

-

14

say,

I

should n't

- be

here,

18

Shell: Don't worry, Rachel. We'll help you cope without your drugs, won't we Den?

[Vamp]

Kbd

Exit Cue: – Leave the kid alone! – Why? Fancy her yourself?

23

Prisoners m

Same old

shit,

Twen ty - four

- se ven,-

26

Two Julies

Wel come

- to life

here in

side,

-

This

Prisoners

is

it,

And

Crystal

it

sure

11



29

is n't- hea

ven,-

Nikki

Al though

- it feels

like

I've

died,

32

Prisoners

When you need

a

help

ing

- hand,

Don't ex pect

- them to un

-

When you need

a

help

ing

- hand,

Don't ex pect

- them to un

-

35

- der

stand,-

What's a noth

- er

- day

a

noth- er

- week,

A

noth- er

-

- der

stand,-

What's a noth

- er

- day

a

noth- er

- week,

A

noth- er

-

39

year?

When we should

n't

- be

here,

We should

n't

- be

year?

When we should

n't

- be

here,

We should

n't

- be

43

here,

We should

n't

- be

here,

We

should n't-

here,

We should

n't

- be

here,

We

should n't-

47

be

here!

be

here!

12



= 140

2. Guardian Angel

A

(Shell & Denny)

Warning: Watcha . . .Cue:

Look, Rachel, I'm just trying to be a mate,tell you how it works in here, right?

Look

Shell

at me,

Look at how

I

turned

out,

5

Used to be a scare

dy - cat un til

- I

learned

how,

to stand

up for me self,

-

8

Ain't no bod- y - else

who's gon na- make

your life

worth

while.-

11

Look at you,

Denny

The girl

can't

take

it,

Eve

Shell

ry - thing - a bout

- you says you'll

14

ne ver

- make

it,

And grass

ing - to a screw,

Ain't a cle

ver- thing to do

un less- you

17 B

suit

a Chel

sea

- smile?

Such

Shell

a pret

ty - lit tle- thing,

I would

n't

- ling

-

21

er

- in the

Shell & Denny

show

ers,-

Ev

Shell

'ry - lezz

er- on the wing

will want

their

13



25

go,

Denny

You'll

be

stuck in there for hours

Shell

The days

are long

and

the

28

nights

are

scar

y,

-

Them

Denny

girls

are strong,

And some

quite

hair

y,

-

Shell

Most

nights

the

32

scream

ing

-

ne ver- ends,

Denny screams in Rachel's face

That's

when

you

36 C

need

to know

that

Both

you've

got

friends,

Shell

And

I'll

be

40

watch

ing - o

ver-

you,

Like a Guar

di- an

- An

gel,

-

We'll

Denny

be watch

ing

- you,

43

A ny - time

you look

be hind-

you,

You know

I'll

al

ways

- find you,

Don't

look

now,

47

I'll

know

ev

'ry - thing

- you

do,

I'm your Guar

di- an

- An

gel,

-

Ev 'ry - thing

- you

do,

14



51

(Shell)

Noth ing - happ

ens- here

I don't

see,

Noth ing's- said

that won't get

54 D

back

to

me,

Luck y - you

that

I'm

gonn a- be

your

An

gel,

-

58

It's a fact,

Pri son- is

de

press-

ing,-

61

Bett

Denny

er- just acc ept

- it there's no point

in

stress

ing,

-

Shell

The on

ly - way to cope,

In

-

64

stead of los ing - hope

is get com plete

- ly - off

your

face,

67

Now I'm

a mate

who be - lieves

in

shar

ing,-

Peo

Denny

ple- don't ap pre

- ci- ate- that

70

Shell's so

car

ing!

- A

Shell

litt

le- Bill y - Whizz,

Will reall

y - do the biz

and then it's

73 E

gone

with out-

a

trace,

When you're crawl

ing - up the

15



76

wall,

You just

call

and

I'll

come

fly

Both

ing,-

79

Take your pick

we got it all,

Just

Shell

let

me

know,

Denny

We

do

82

reg u- lar- supp ly

- ing,

-

Shell

Have a wrap,

Denny

No

one's

- touched

it,

85

Shell

Ex cept

- per haps

-

the girl

who

crutched

it,

Just

pay

your bills

88

and you'll

be

fine,

Denny: Can I have that necklace, Shell?

Shell: Help yourself, Den

And

re mem-

-

92 F

ber

- now

what's

yours

is

mine.

'Cos

I'll

be

96

watch

ing - o

ver-

you,

Like a Guar

di- an

- An

gel,

-

Denny

We'll be watch

ing

- you,

99

A ny - time

you look

be hind-

you,

You know

I'll

al

ways

-find you,

Don't

look

now,

16



103

I'll

know

eve

ry - thing

- you

do,

I'm your

Ev 'ry - thing you

106

Guar

di- an

- An

gel,

-

Noth ing - happ

ens- here

I don't

see,

do,

109

Noth ing's- said

that won't get back

to

me,

Luck y - you

that

112 rall.

I'm

gon na- be

your

An

- gel,

Ah

Denny

ah- ah

- ah- ah- ah-

-

116

Your

Guard

i

- an

- An

gel.

-

ah,

ah,

ah.

17



A Swing

3. Jailcraft

q

= 146

(Jim & Sylvia)

Warning: That's it,then. End of an era, Jim.Cue:

And we'll clear up.

Jim

You

m

won't

learn

this

art

in a

book,

There's

no

fast

track

to it,

5

Sylvia

You can't

skip

the

years

that it

took,

There's a

real

knack

to it,

9

Jail

Jim

craft,-

We've

got it,

Jail

Sylvia

craft,-

You've

got it,

13

Jail

Both

craft,

-

That's

what it

takes!

B17

Sylvia

You won't

get

this

with

a de

gree

-

In

crim in- al- jus

tice,

-

21

Jim

Down the sharp end,

take it from me,

The one thing you trust is

25

Jail

Both

craft,

-

We've

got it,

Hard

graft,

But we've

got it,

29

Jail

craft,-

That's

what it

takes!

18



C33

It's

Jim

bas

ic

- com mon

- sense,

Sylvia

Plus

a litt

le-

self

de fence,

-

37

Mix

Jim

with

pro fes-

sion- al- calm,

Sylvia

Add

a dash

of

per son- al- charm,

41

Both

And

when

that

old

pro verb-

i- al

- Fin - al ly

- hits

the fan,

45

We're up

front,

Bear ing - the brunt,

Just

do ing - the best

we

can.

D49

We don't

get

the

thanks

we de serve,-

Down at the coal

face,-

53

While those

wimps

are

los

ing - their

nerve,

We run

the whole

place,

57

Jail

craft,-

Ir

Jim

re fut

- - a- ble,

- Jail

Both

craft,-

Sylvia

God

we're beau

ti- ful,

-

61

Jail

Both

craft,-

That's

what it

takes!

Jim: Send and escort to fetch Wade and tellDockley "to report for work".Sylvia: Don't worry, I'll be sure to wind up

Wade's welcome party.

x 3

19



E65

mp

And

Jim

if

the pow

ers- that

be,

Are

just

too blind

to

see,

69

I know

a thing

or two,

I'll pull

a string

or two,

Take a les

son- from

me.

F73

G

Number One: So, Jim, off the record, how's the new girl Governor doing on G Wing?

Wor ried- look,

Fur rowed- brow,

80

A slight

hes i- ta

- tion,-

I

would n't-

84

like

to

in ter

- fere.

-

Number One: Any information will be treated in the strictest confidence.

88 H

It's

all

in

here.

Years of ex per-

i- ence,- You

92

un der- stand.-

Number One: Leave it with me, Jim. Enough said.

Years

of per

fect

- ing

- a

96 I

shake

of the

hand,

Number One:See you at the next lodge meeting.

m

My

but it's good

100

tak

ing

- con

trol.

-

Slid

ing

- up

20



104 J

that

greas y

- pole.

Jim & Sylvia

You

(unis.)

won't

get

108

that

out

of a

book,

On

pri son

- pro ce

- dure,

-

When those

suits

112

get

caught

on the

hook,

That's when they need

ya,

Jail

craft-

116 K

We've

got it,

He's

daft,

But we've

got it

Jail

(unis.)

craft,-

That's

120

what it takes

when you're

short

staffed,

Your back

near ly - breaks

We get

well

shaft

ed,

-

124

But

we

strug gle

- through,

Keep

your

eye on the ball,

Your

128

ear to the ground,

Back to the wall

when

troub le's- a round-

It's

131

Jail

craft.-

Jail

Jim

craft.-

135

Jail

Sylvia

craft,-

Both

That's

what we

do,

mp

Me

(unis.)

and

you!

21



E52

I

m

won't

for get,-

I don't

re gret,-

There's no

thing - more

that I

can

54

say,

I'll

cresc.

pay

my debt,

And let

them throw

my life

a way,-

m

One

mo

ment

- your

57

fu ture's- gone for e

- ver,___ -

Bridg es- burned, A cor

ner- turned You walk

the line

a lone,

-

60

In

one

mo

ment

- what's

done is done

for e

- ver,-

62

When all

the birds

have

flown,

You're on

65 F

your

own,

You're on

your own

rit.68 Slower

I'm on

my

own.

24



A

q = 132

5. Life of Grime(The Two Julies & Prisoners)

Warning: Oh my God, Ju.Cue:

Yeah, since when did we never get shat on?

When

mp

Julie J.

you're stuck

in the muck,

And no bo

- dy - gives a

4

Both

French

Con nec

- tion,

-

Julie S.

When you're down

on

your

luck,

7

And you're run

ning - in the

Both

wrong

dir ec

- tion,

-

There's

cresc.

no es

cap-

-

10

ing

- from

the

slime,

m

You're liv

ing - a life

of

grime.

13

Blood

Julie J.

y - rub

bish!-

Both

A life

of

grime.

(unis.)

16 B

Julie J.

When you doss

with the dross,

19

And you're banged

up in an

Both

in

sti- tu

- tion.

-

Julie S.

No one's- giv

ing

- a

25



22

toss,

All they're giv

ing - you is

Both

re

tri- bu

- tion.

-

25

You're

just a

vic

tim

- do

ing

- time,

For

28

liv ing - a life

of

grime.

Prisoners

Blood y - rub

bish!-

Julies

A life

of

(unis.)

grime.

31C

Julie S.

When

m

you're flat

on your

back

while

some

34

git

gets his

rocks

off,

That's

Both

a time

to re flect,-

Julie J.

You're

37

moan

ing

- and

groan

ing

- your

poor

lit

tle

- socks

off,

Both

That does

n't- get

you

res

-

40

pect,

Af ter- blow

ing - his horn

pipe,-

And bang

ing - his

drum,

And

43D

thank

ing

- God

you're

not

his wife,

It takes

more

than a wet

wipe,

To

26



46

clean

up the

scum,

Of your whole

stink

ing

- mis

- era ble

- life!

E49

You're

Julie J.

a slut

in a rut,

Julie S.

Ne ver- shift

ing - the dirt,

Julie J.

Al ways- look

ing - for some

52

lub

ri- ca

- tion

-

Julie S.

Sick and tired

of the

smut,

Julie J.

Sick of lift

ing - your

55

skirt,

You

Julie S.

could use

a bit of

cul

ti- va

- tion,-

Both

In

stead- of

bloom

-

58 F

G

ing

- in your

prime,

F

You're liv

B9

ing - a life

of

61

Grime

mp

Two Julies + Other Prisoners

grime

grime

grime

27



65

Grime

mp

grime

grime

grime

Can't

shift

it,

Can't

move

it,

Can't

get

this

crap

out

of my

69

Grime

mp

grime

grime

grime

Can't

shift

it,

Can't

move

it,

Can't

get

this

crap

out

of my

73

Grime

mp

grime

grime

life,

m

Can't

shift

it,

Can't

move

it,

Can't

get

this

Low

down

- dir ty - lit tle- scum

bag

- scrub bers-

Low

down

- dirt

y - lit tle

-

28



76

grime

Grime

mp

grime

crap

out

of my

m

life,

Can't

shift

it,

Can't

move

it,

Low

down

- dirt y - lit tle- scum

Low

bag

down

-

-

scrub

dirt

bers,

y

-

- lit

tle-

scum bag - scrub bers,-

Low

down- dirt

y - lit tle- scum

bag - scrub bers,-

79 rall.

grime

grime

Can't

get

it

out.

Low

down

- dirt

y

- lit tle

- scum

bag

- scrub bers,-

-

Low

down

- dirt

y - lit tle

- scum

bag

- scrub

bers,-

-

G Colla voce

82

All

p

that

Julie S.

I want

ed

- was one

lous

y - break,

A chance

to make ev

'ry

- thing

-

29



85

right,

But des pite

- all

my

tal ents,-

The books

ne

ver

- bal ance,-

I

A tempo q

= 13688 H

keep

end

ing

- up

in

the

shite!

When

Both

you're stuck

in the muck,

91

And no bo

- dy - gives a

French

Con nec

- tion,

-

94

Al ways- pass

ing - the

buck,

But you're ne

ver- gon na-

97

pass

in

spec

- tion,

-

Now

let me

tell

you

one more

time,

101I

m

If

clean

li- ness-

means

God

li- ness,-

We're

screwed

al rea-

dy - so

105

sod the

mess,

The slop's

in

the

buck

et,

- You

don't

have

to

suck

it,

To

108

see

that

it's

a

crime,

Liv

ing - a life,

111

Liv ing - a life,

Liv ing - a life

of

(unis.)

grime!

30



Rubato

6. The A-List(Yvonne & Prisoners)

Warning: And who's the little Cinderella, then?Cue:

Two parts sweet dreams, one part dynamite.

Yvonne

When

mp

you're all

dolled up

with no place

to go,

4

Hey, don't make

a fuss, If we can't

get out

to the par ty,- The

8 Latin q = 180

par

ty -

can

come

to

us!

13 A

m

It's

strict-

ly

A

list,-

This 'll- be

the hot

test

- spot

in

town,

17

Sun

kissed

ce

leb

- ri- ties-

with

style,

Call

O.

22

K!

and

Hel

lo!,

-

Now

we're

all

set

to

go,

We're

gon na

-

26

make a

splash,

Get

read y - to flash

that

smile,

It's

strict

ly

-

31



B30

A

List,-

Ev 'ry - one- who's a

ny

- one-

is

here,

34

Hey,

Sis

ter- your

name

is

on

the

door,

Broader

Roll

the

Prisoners

Your name

is

on the

door,

Broader

Roll

the

38

red

car

pet

- out,

'Cos

to

night

-

there's

no

doubt

we're

hav ing - a girls'

red

car

pet

- out,

'Cos

to

night

-

there's

no

doubt

we're

hav ing - a girls'

42

night

in

like there's ne

ver

- been

be

fore.-

I'm

gon na- be the

night

in

like there's ne

ver

- been

be

fore.-

C46

par

ty -

Queen,

Giv ing - it up

all

night,

Oooh

ooh

oooh,

Ooh

ooh

oooh,

32



50

Cruis

ing -

and

schmooz

ing

- with

the

best,

Take

a

Oooh, ooh ooh,

Oooh,

ooh

ooh,

54

look

a

round

-

this

ex

clu

- sive-

scene,

Ooh

whah

ooh,

-

Ooh

whah

ooh,

-

58

So

much

flesh

to

be

pressed

Oh

yes,

mp

It's

strict

ly

-

Ooh

whah

ooh!

-

Ooh,

whah

ooh!

-

D62

A

List,-

List en- to the word

out

on the

street,

It's strict ly - A

List,- List en- to the word out on the street,

33



66

Don't

miss

the

par

ty

- of

the

year,

No

Don't

miss

the

par

ty

- of the

year,

70

B's

(Yvonne)

m

no

C's

and

dar

ling

- please,

no

D's,

No

74

Has

beens,

Would

be's,

Wan na- be's,

- Could

be's,

-

I

ab

so

- lute

- ly

- must

in

-

78

sist,

Strict

ly

- A's

on the list,

83E

We

mp

need

jhoosh,

and

pi

zazz,

-

And

some

glam

our

- in our

lives,

Chorus

mp

Jhoosh!

whispered

Pi zazz!-

87

Out

on

the

razz

like

we're

Foot

ball-

ers'

- Wives!

whispered

Out! Razz!

34



92 F

Low

mp

cut,

Up

lift,-

You

are,

mp whispered

Oooh!

Aaah!

97

God's

gift,

Go

strut

your

stuff

on

the

floor.

Prisoners

Go

strut

your

stuff!

101

Big

Yvonne

hair

Bling

bling,

Hot

air,

105

Ming

ling -

This

is

the

life

I

a

dore.

-

Prisoners

Can't

m

sung!

get e

nough!-

109 G

It's

strict

ly

-

A

List,-

List en- to the word

out

on the

street,

It's

strict

ly

- A

List,-

List en- to the

35



113

Don't

miss

the

par

cresc.

ty

- of

the

year,

word

out

on the

street,

broader

Don't

miss

the

part

y

- of

the

year,

117

m

No

B's

no

C's,

But

may

be

- I

could

squeeze

some

E's,

No

122

Has

beens,

Would

be's,

Wan na- be's,

- Could

be's,

Has

bins,

Would

be's,

Wan na- be's,

- Could

be's,

126 q = 90

Yvonne

I

ab

sol

- ute

- ly

- must

in

sist.

-

Yvonne & Prisoners

We're

on

the

H Jazz 8's130

A

List,-

Come out

and

play

list,

Won't

134

stop

'til we drop,

'Cos we're on

the

top

to night

-

36



138

Yvonne & Prisoners

Hey

Mis ter,-

Hey

Mis ter,-

Hey

Mis ter,-

Hey

Mis ter,-

Hey

Mis ter,-

Hey

Mis ter,-

143I A tempo q = 172

Don't

turn

out

that

light.

Par

ty - all

night!

Don't

turn

out

that

light!

148

Par ty - all night! Par

ty - all night!

Bad

Girls

Part

-

152

Par

ty - all

night!

Par

ty - all

night!

- y

all

night,___

Bad

Girls

Part

-

37



156

Par

ty - all

night!

Par

ty - all

night!

Bad

Girls

Part

-

y

- all

night,

160

Par

ty - all

night!

Par

ty - all

y

- all

night,

Bad

Girls

Part

y

- all

night,

163

night!

Par

ty

- all

night!

Bad

Girls

Part

y

- on,

Par

ty

- all

night!

Par

ty

- all

night!

38



Intro

7. The Key

h = 61

(Jim)

A

Warning: Fancy a drink?Cue: ’Night Jim. / ’Night, Sylv. (A beat.)

[Vamp]

à la "trouser-snake"

mp

(last time)

The

loose

Key to

7

hid

den

- trea

sure,

- The

Key to

for

bid

- den

- pleas

ure,

- And

13

how

do

you

mea

sure

- a

man

if

it's

not

by

what

hangs

from

his fob?

20

Ev

er

- since

jail

ers

- be

gan

- it's

been

one

of

the

perks

of

the job,

27

Go

ing

- to

work

on

the job,

When

you

hold

the

key,

34B

No

force,

No

co er

- sion.

-

41

Pure

sa tis

- fac

- tion

- for

all.

Of

course,

Some

per

-

47

ver

sion,

-

But

no

thing

- that's

pain

ful

- or

too

off

the

wall.

A

39



C53

mu

tu- al

- ser

vice

- and

what

bet

ter

- way,

To un

wind

- as

you

wend

at

the

end

of

the

60

day.

And

while

you're

get

ting

- your

end

well a

way,

- You're

the

King

66

of

the

night.

Out

of

reach,

out

of

sight.

73

Ev

ery - one's

- up

for

a

bite,

so,

Don't

call

me

gree

dy,

- 'Cos

79

Underscore transition(Jim goes into Shell's cell. Scene change) (Helen & Justin pub scene)

Underscore

these

girls

are

need

y.

-

97

138

(cue)

146

TILL READY (after Jim emerges)

Jim

Last Time

The

Key to

hid

den

-

154

trea

sure,

- The

Key to

for

bid

- den

- plea

sure,

- To

take

at

you

160

lei

sure

- and

bend

to

what

e

- ver

- your

fanc

ies

- dic tate,

-

40



166

Vir

gins

- and

tarts

end

to

end

it's

the

cream

of

the

fe

male

- es tate,

-

173

And

you

get

it

all

on

a plate,

When

you

hold

the

key,

180

No

ties,

No

con nec

- tions,

-

187

Fresh

sup plies

- al

ways

- on

tap.

Re cog - nise

-

192

their

af fec

- tions,

-

You'll

soon

have

them

eat

ing

- right

out

of

your

198

lap.

They're

des

perate- ly

- grate

ful

- for

all

you

can

give.

It's

quite

fair

to

204

say

you're

their

rea

son

- to live.

Frank

ly

- it's

just

ir

res

- pon

- si- ble

-

210

if

I

don't

try

to

pro

vide,

-

What

they

lack,

216

Here

in

side.

-

Ev

ery - one's

- up

for

the

ride,

so,

41



223

D (Jim/Rachel dialogue)

Who

could

ac

cuse

- me

if

they

chose

to

use

me?

(cue)

pp

x 3

229

235 Rall

Slower

242 E

h= 52

I

watch,

And

I

wait,

Mist

er- Wolf,

At

the

249 gradually faster

gate,

I

lead

and

they

fol

low,

- I

feed

and

they

swall

low,

- I

255

need

it

I

take

it,

Who

cares

if

they

fake

it,

A

man's

got

ta

- make

it

and

261 Tempo 1

move

it

and

shake

it,

And

this

luck

y

- - Jim,

Gets

it

all

just

for

him,

267

F Tempo 1

Pick

a

ny

- slag,

Eve

ry

- shag's

in

the

bag

with

the

key,

mp subito

273

The

key.

Slide

280

in

side,

- And

o

pen

- wide

for

42



287 rall.

me.

Be

hold

- the

key.

The

294

big

gest

- you'll

see.

I

hold

the

key.

300

G

(cue)

pp

307

312

Cut as leave stage

43



q = 144

8. That’s the Way It Is(Company)

Warning: Count of three. One . . . two . . .Cue: Low drone – sound dies after door break

[Vamp]

Exit Cue: Oh hurrah. We've got a stiff onG Wing. Need it bagged, over . . .

Prisoners

Now we

know,

Where we

stand,

4

There is no No man's- land, Trust is torn, A line

8

is

drawn,

And

that's

the way

it is!

Make your

move,

Take

your

side,

12

There is

no

place

to

hide,

You're out

on a limb,

Now

sink

16

A

B

or

swim,

'Cos

that's

the way

it is!

Cue: He's the one whoshould be swinging.

[Vamp]

No

Prisoners

mat

ter

- how

20

you

try

to

sweep us

out

of

sight,

We will

not

let

24

this

day

go

by.

All of

your

might

28 C

can not

- fight

what

is

right,

All

p

And

that's

the way

it

is

44



32

now,

Bring it on,

down,___

Exit cue: Then talk to us all.Explain to us why Rachel's dead.

[Vamp]

37 D

'Cos

if

you

think

we'll

walk

a

way,-

'Cos

if

you

think

we'll

walk

a

way,-

40

As if

no

- thing real ly - mat

ters,

-

Then there

is

no

-

As if

no

- thing real ly -

mat ters,

-

Then there

is

no

-

43

thing

- more

to

say.

thing

-more

to

say.

48 E

That's

Prisoners & Officers

the way

it is!

Come

Prisoners

on,

come on,

52

That's

the way

it is!

That's

the way

it is!

Come on,

come on,

Come on,

come on,

45



56 F

That's

the way

it is!

That's

the way

it is!

Bring it on

down,

59

Prisoners & Officers

That's

the way

it is!

Prisoners

Bring it on

down.

Bring it on

Come on,

come on,

Come on,

come on,

62

That's

the way

it is!

That's

the way

it is! That's

the way

it is!

down,

Bring it on

down.

Come on,

come on,

66

Come on,

come on,

Come on,

come on,

70

Come on,

come on,

Come on,

come on,

SEGUEContinues into Riot Music . . .

Cue: Report situationout of control.

[Vamp]

=144

Dead segue

8a. Riot Music

End of Act 1

Repeat till cut

Saxes / TptSaxes / Tpt

46



ACT II

9. Freedom Road

(Crystal & Chorus)

Free

Cue: – I could string you up, Dockley. – Yeah, you evil cow.

Crystal

p a capella - very freely

dom

- - - Road,

Lead

6 A Gospel style q = 93

me

home.

Free

p

dom

- Road,

Lead

me

12

home, I have trav elled- so long.

Now my

Swing 8's17

jour

ney

- is

through,

I will come

home

to you.

All

my

22

B

trou bles-

are

gone.

Free

mp

dom

- Road,

Chorus Free

mp

dom

-

(unseen throughout)

Free

mp

dom

-

47



27

Lead

me

home,

I

have

trav

elled

- so

long.

When

I

Road,

Lead

me

home,

Lord,

I

have

trav

elled

- so

Road,

Lead

me

home,

Lord,

I

have

trav

elled

- so

33

lay

me

to

rest.

My

soul

will

be blessed.

All

my

trou bles-

are

long.

Lay

me

down,

All

my

trou bles-

are

long.

Lay

me

down,

All

my

trou bles-

are

39

C

gone.

Free

p

dom- - - Road,

gone.

Free

p

dom

- - - Road,

gone.

Free

p

dom

- - - Road,

48



45 D

Lead

me home.

Take

me

out

of

this

Lead

me

home.

Take

me

out

of

this

Lead

me

home.

Take

me

out

of

this

51

dark

ness.

-

Let

your

light

shine

on

me.

dark

ness.

-

Let

your

light

shine

down

on

me.

dark

ness.

-

Let

your

light

shine

down

on

me.

57

Free

m

Chorus plus Crystal improvising soulfully & totally free to the end

dom

- Road,

Lead

me

home,

I

have

trav

elled

- so

Free

m

dom

- Road,

Lead

me

home,

Free

m

dom

- Road,

Lead

me

home,

49



63

long.

Now

my

heart

feels

no

pain,

I will see

you

a gain.

-

Lord,

I

have

trav

elled

- so

long.

No

more

pain.

Lord,

I

have

trav

elled

- so

long.

No

more

pain.

69

All

my

trou bles-

are

gone.

All

my

trou bles-

are

All

my

trou bles-

are

gone.

All

my

trou bles-

are

All

my

trou bles-

are

gone.

All

my

trou bles-

are

75

gone.

mp

Free

dom- - - - Road,

gone.

mp

Free

dom

- - - - Road,

gone.

mp

Free

dom

- - - - Road,

50



80 rit.

Lead

me

home.

Lead

me

home.

Lead

me

home.

51



q = 148 (Swing)

10. The Future Is Bright(Jim, Sylvia and Officers)

Warning: A girl can change her mind.Cue: No stopping us . . .

. . . really should be run.

'Cos

mp

Jim

if

the pow

ers- that

be,

In

all

their wis

dom- a

gree,

-

5

No

oth er

- can

di- date-

can

swing that

gate

like

8

me,

Officers

The

m

13

fu

ture-

is

bright

a gain,-

The

world

is

black

and

white

a gain,-

We're

17

key

hap

py,-

Toe

tap

py,-

Ne ver- thought that we'd

be

so

hap

py,

-

21

One of our

boys

has

made

it,

Shin

ing - out

like a

star,

25

Stak ing - his claim,

Mak ing - his name,

Jim

you

will

go

far,

29

Jim

The

fu

ture-

is

mine

a gain,-

I'm

swing

ing

- from

a

52



33

vine

a gain,-

Lord

and

mas

ter- of a new

day,

Hold

on

fast,

37

We're on

the run

way,

-

Here

at

last,

And I'll

be here

to

40

stay.

Officers

Your

loy al- arm y

- sal utes

- you Sir,

45

Sylvia

m

I

must

say that

suit

real ly

- suits

you,

Sir.

Jim

Come

mp

52

in,

Pull a seat

up,

Put your feet

up,

This is how

it's

gon na-

55

be,

The witch

is

gone,

And

from now

on,

The man

of the

mo

ment

- is

59

me,

Now it's

cream

cakes,

With

out

- warn

ing,

-

Sylvia

Tea

breaks

that

63

No it's not

a dream,

But the start

of our new

re

-

last

all

morn

ing,

-

No it's not

a dream,

But the start

of our new

re

-

53



67

gime,

m

It's look

ing - good,

It's look

ing -

gime,

m

It's look ing - good, It's look ing -

Officers

It's look

ing - good,

It's look

ing -

It's look

ing - good,

70

great,

Officers, Jim and Sylvia

We're get

ting - rid,

We could

n't- wait,

Let's

Officers

It's look

ing - great,

We're get

ting - rid,

We could

n't- wait,

73

go, We know, Hey Ho,

We're on

our way

now,

He's here

to stay

now,

Eve- ry thing

is gon na- be

o

kay

- now.

77

mp

One

of our

boys

has

made

it,

No

one-

mp

One

of our

boys

has

made

it

No

one

-

83

else

could com

pare,

-

Hold

ing

- the

flame,

else

could com

pare,

-

Hold

ing

- the

flame,

54



87

Play

ing

- the

game,

Who

said

we'd

play

Play

ing

the

game,

Who

said

we'd

play

92

fair?

Officers, Jim & Sylvia

The

m

deed

is

done,

It's in

the bag,

The batt-

le's

fair?

The

m

deed

is

done,

It's in

the bag,

96

won,

Put up

the flag,

We're We're gonn-gonn-

aa spread

a lit tle- hap

pi

- ness- all

The

bat

tle's- won,

Put up

the flag,

We're gon na- spread

a lit tle- hap

pi

- ness- all

99

o ver- the place,

Lock ing - up the los

ers

- with a smile

on our face,

o ver- the place,

Lock ing - up the los

ers

- with a smile

on our face,

102

Noth ing's- gonn- a stop

us

now we're back

on

the case

and

how,

Noth ing's- gonn- a stop

us now we're back

on

the case

and

how,

55



105

Just

look

who's

the

big

cheese

now.

Just

look

who's

the

big

cheese

now.

109

Jim

The

m

fu

ture-

is

bright

a gain,-

The

Officers + Sylvia

It's

mp

look

ing - good,

It's look

ing - great,

We're get

ting -

Officers

mp

It's look

ing - good,

It's look

ing - great,

112

world

is

banged

to

right

a gain,-

I'm

key

hap

py,-

Toe

tap

py,-

rid,

We could-

n't wait,

Let's

go,

We

know,

We're get ting - rid,

We could n't- wait,

We're on

our way

now,

He's here

to stay

now,

116

Ne ver- thought that I'd

be

so

hap

py,

- Here

I

Hey

Ho,

One of our

boys

has

Eve ry - thing

is gon na- be

o

kay

- now.

One

of our

boys

has

56



133

Hold

on

fast,

We're on

the run

way,

-

Here

at

last,

Locking up the los

ers

- with a smile

on our face,

Noth ing's- gon na- stop

us

now we're

Locking up the los

ers

- with a smile

on our face,

Noth ing's- gon na- stop

us now we're

136

And I'll

be here

to

stay.

For

the

back on

the case

to

day,

-

back on

the case

to

day,

-

139

glor

i-

ous,

-

Vic

tor

- i-

ous,

-

Un

mistake

a- ble,

-

Still un

break

a- ble,

-

Un

mistake

a- ble,

-

Still un

break

a- ble,

-

143

P.

O.

A!

P.

O.

A!

P.

O.

A!

58



10a. The Future is Bright Play-off

q

= 120

11. Sorry (Julie S)

Warning: David? It's your mum . . .Cue:

Yeah, it's a good line, ain't it?

Kbd

Julie S: What...?

You mean . . . everything? . . .

5 Rubato

. . . Oh, David . . .

I've been such a stupid cow.

Julie S

I'm

p

A 9

sor ry,-

Sor ry - you found

out

this

way,

13

Julie S: No, listen . . .

List en,-

There's some things

I need

to say,

17

God

knows,

I ain't ne

ver- been

proud

of what

I

do,

20

But you

should

know,

I'm

59



23

al ways

- so,

So

proud

of you,

And I'm

B27

sor ry,-

Sor ry - I

can't hold

you,

squeeze

you tight,

31

Love you,

Miss you,

'S'on ly - you

that

34

gets me

through

the

night,

God

knows,

things don't e

ver- turn

37

out

the way

I

planned,

But

p

I hope

and

pray,

40

That

some

day,

43C

You'll

un der- stand,-

I

just want

ed- to make

things

good,

To

47

give you

the life

you

de serve,

- I'd

have told

you one

day,

Yes,

I would,

51

But I

kept los

ing -

my nerve,

And

p

it seemed

so much bet

ter,

-

60



54

I should be,

Trav 'ling

- the world

in some

fan ta- sy,

-

'Stead of which,

I'm a

58

liar,

And a con,

But you're

the on

ly - thing that

62 D

keeps

me

hold

ing - on.

Julie S: Sorry?

67

What's that you

say?

Julie S: 'Course you can if you want to, darling . . .

You can come

71

vis it-

a ny

- day,

God

knows

there ain't no

bod- y -

75

else

I'd rath

er

- see,

So

p

there

you

go,

Your

79

first

V.

O.

Julie S: Got to send you this form called a Visiting Order - I’ll put it in the post straight off, . . .

Kbd

83

. . . then you can come in (soon as) - oh shit, David, I forgot - Fenner’s stopped our visits . . .

87 E

But I'm

gon na- make

things

good,

No mat ter- how

bad

it

61



91

seems,

I'll be

there

like

a moth

er

- should

be,

94

So you

can fol

low

- your dreams,

Yes

p

things

will get bet

ter,

-

97

Wait and see,

We'll work

it out

now

Just

you and me,

100

'Cos I

don't

e ver,

-

e ver-

wan na- be

So

104 rall.

sor

ry,

-

a

pp

gain.

-

= 140

11a. Scene Change

Warning: Don't worry, you haven't got anything.Cue:

Well, a nod's as good as a wink to me.

[ last time ]

62



= 120

12. Every Night(Helen & Nikki)

Warning: Sorry, you just went very quiet . . .Cue: See you didn't waste much time, then. How cosy.

[VAMP - Vocal last time only]

Nikki

How

mp

does

she do

this

to

me?

How

did I

4

let her

in,

When I

should know

by

now

to be ware.

-

8

Helen

Why does

she do

this

to

me?

How

can I

12

e ver

- win?

And 'though

I

tell

my

self -

I don't

15

care.

Both

She's

al

ways

-

A q

= 9519

B

there.

Ev

Nikki

'ry - night

I

see

24

her.

The mo

ment- I close

my

eyes

to

sleep,

27

She's there

in the dreams

I

keep,

In my

heart.

63



61

E

Helen

Ev

mp

'ry - night

I

see

her,

The

Nikki

Ev

mp

'ry - night

I

see

64

mo ment- I close

my

eyes

to

sleep,

This se

cret- is burn

-

her,

She's there

in my dreams,

mp

Burn

-

67 F

- ing

deep

in my

heart.

- ing

deep

in my

heart.

75

But

this

is cra

zy,-

What am I think ing?

-

I'm

But

this

is cra

zy,-

What am I think ing?

-

I'm

78

los

- ing my

way

in the dark,

It's just

too much,

To see

her

los

- ing my

way

in the dark,

It's not

e nough,

-

65



81

face

ev 'ry

- day,

To feel

her

so

close

yet

so

far,

When

When there's so much to

say,

To feel her so close yet so

84

no

thing

- can

change

who

we

are,

far,

When no

thing

- can

change

who

we

are,

87

mp

But I

can't let

her

know,

mp

But I

can't let

her

go.

91 G

Eve

ry - night

I

see

her,

The

Eve

ry - night

I

see

her,

The

95

mo ment- I close

my

eyes

to

sleep,

This se

cret- is burn

-

mo ment- I close

my

eyes

to

sleep,

This se

cret- is burn

-

98

- ing

deep

in my

heart.

- ing

deep

in my

heart.

66



q = 124

13. All Banged Up(Yvonne & The Two Julies)

Warning:

We're a, ain't we?Cue: Yeah. But let’s face it, ain’t nothing likedeath to whet your appetite for life.

[VAMP]

Yvonne + Two Julies

last time

We're all

banged

up,

mp

With out

- the bang,

4

We've got

the go,

but there's

no

fan

dang,

-

How's a

ny - girl

meant to

7

do her

thang,

When she's all

banged

up

a lone.

-

Yvonne

We're

A 10

all

banged

up,

With out

- the bang,

Julie S

This litt-

le chas-

sis needs a

13

full

front

prang,

Yvonne

And we're

I'm

Julie J

like

a vam

pire

- with

out

- a fang,

Two Julies

And we're

16

all

vamped

up

a lone,

-

And though

we try

not to

all

vamped

up

a lone,

-

And though

we try

not to

67



19

think

a bout,-

All

the pleas

ures

- we

miss.

think

a bout,-

All

the pleas

ures

- we

miss.

22

There's bug

ger- all

else

to

think

a bout,-

When you're dumped

in

a

hell

hole

- like

There's bug

ger- all

else

to

think

a bout,-

When you're dumped

in

a

hell

hole

- like

25

this!

-

Day

af-

ter

day

aft-

er

day,

These

this!

Day

after

day

after

day,

These

28

ass

ets

- are

wast

ing

- a

way,

-

We're

ass

ets

- are

wast

ing

- a

way,

-

We're

B31

all

banged

up,

With out

- the bang,

We get

the twin

ges

- But

all

banged

up,

With out

- the bang,

We get

the twin

ges

- But

68



34

where's

our

twang?

Whipped to

a peak

like

a stiff

me ringue,-

But we're

where's

our

twang?

Whipped to

a peak

like

a stiff

me ringue,-

But we're

37 C

all

whipped

up

a lone.

-

Bang

bang!

all

whipped

up

a lone.

-

Bang

bang!

41

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

46 D q = 100

Bang!

Yvonne

I want

to

feel

theweight

of a

Bang!

50

hand some

- hunk,

Ly

ing

- on

top

of

me

in my

bunk,

And when

the-

53

lights

go down,

So does

he,

'Til ev

'ry - thing - goes ting

a- ling - in

69



56 slow accel. to a tempo

side of

me,

Don't want

to fall

in love,

I don't ex pect

- ro mance,-

I

59

just

want

some

ac

tion

- in

side- my

pants,

I ne ver- thought

de sire-

could

62

be so

strong,

I ne

ver- thought I'd e

ver- have to go

so

long!

2 Julies

It's

E A tempo q = 12465

It's

just

A lit

tle- thrust,

It must

be

the

least

you

can

just,

A lit

tle- thrust,

It must

be

the

least

you

can

68

do,

You're a screw,

We can trust,

And our

do,

You're a screw,

Who we

can trust,

And our

71

wel

fare

- is

all

down

to

you.

m

Night

af

ter

- night

af ter

-

wel

fare

- is

all

down

to

you.

m

Night

af

ter

- night

af ter

-

70



74Pause

night,___

Think

of our

des

- per ate

- plight,___

Justin: You really should try & eat something.

We're

night,___

Think

of our

des

- per ate

- plight,___

We're

F78

all

banged

up,

With out

- the bang,

We've got

the go,

but

there's

all

banged

up,

With out

- the bang,

We've got

the go,

but

there's

81

no

fan

dang,

-

How's a

ny - girl

meant to do

her

thang,

When she's

no

fan

dang,

-

How's a

ny - girl

meant to do

her

thang,

When she's

84

all

banged

up

a lone.

-

We're all

banged

up,

With

-

all

banged

up

a lone.

-

We're all

banged

up,

With

-

87

out

the bang,

No bod

- y - wants

to be

in

our

gang,

out

the bang,

No bod

- y - wants

to be

in

our

gang,

71



90

We could

n't- care

less if

spring just

sprang,

If the queen

just

rang,

They can

We could

n't- care

less if

spring just

sprang,

If the queen

just

rang,

They can

93

all go

hang,

'Cos

un til

- we

get

out

and

get

out

with a

bang,

We're

p

all go

hang,

'Cos

un til

- we

get

out

and

get

out

with a

bang,

We're

p

G97

all

banged

up,

We're

all

banged

up,

We're

all

banged

up,

We're

all

banged

up,

We're

101

q = 170

all

banged

up

a

lone!

-

all

banged

up

a

lone!

-

106

Bang!

Bang!

72



Rock

14. The Baddest and the Best

q = 161

(Justin & Prisoners)

Warning: Shit me, what's this? Screw against screw?Cue:

As in yesterday's, right?

Nikki

You'd bet

ter-

A Verse 15

wise

up,

To the way

this is go

ing

- down,-

For

9

once

in your

life

use

your

brain.

Denny

Like

a

13

bad

dream,

That

keeps

on

com ing

- round,

17

He's

gon na

- screw

you

o

ver- a

gain.

-

B21

All except Shell

And you'll

be

his

to

- ry -

be fore-

you know

what's

hit.

24

Girl you need

a

wake

up

call

and

this

is

it!

28 C Verse 2

So

Yvonne

you'd bet

ter

- lis

ten

- up,

'Cos we're all

gon na- beat

this

rap,

73



32

If

Justin

he's out

to get

you,

Get him

first!

36

Yvonne

We need

a

queen

bee.

Two Julies

Sit ting - in

a

hon ey

- trap,

40

Nikki

Sharp en- up

your

sting

and do

your

worst.

44 D

All except Shell

And he'll

be

his

to

- ry -

be fore-

the day

is

through.

48

So make

your

mind

up

now

it's

up

to

you!

52 E

Denny

Do

you wan

na- be

bad?

Do you wan

na- be the

Others

Do

you wan

na- be

bad?

55

bad dest

- and

the

best?

You've

been

messed

a round-

and

tram

-

Bad dest

- and

the

best?

You've

been

messed

a round-

and

tram

-

74



58

pled

- down,

Get it off

your

chest!

No you don't

get

pled

- down,

Get it off

your

chest,

61

mad,

Nikki

You just

get

bad der- than all

the rest,

You don't

get

mad,

Bad der- than all

the rest,

65

Nikki

No one

- else

could

take

that

crown,

You're the bad

dest

- and

the

best!

F69

All except Shell

pp

The bad

dest,-

the bad

dest

- and

the

Shell: Well it's obvious I'm the best, innit?

best,

The

pp

The bad

dest,-

the bad

dest

- and

the

best,

The

73

bad dest,-

The bad

dest

Nikki: So? Are you in with us?

-

The bad

dest

- and

the

best!

Yvonne: Or just out for yourself?

bad dest,-

The bad

dest-

The bad

dest

- and

the

best!

77

(Cue)

Denny: Go on, Shell...

75



80

Shell: Yeah, all right.

(A big cheer goes up from the other women.)

Shell: I could get used to this solidarity shit.Okay, so what's the plan?

83 G

H (until ready)

93

(Cue)

Yvonne (on phone): "Charlie, it's me. Do us a favour,darling? I need a state of the art wireless mini-cam . . .

. . . and like yesterday, yeah?"

(A package flies over the wall.)

97 I

Yvonne

If

you're gon

na- be

bad,

You got

ta- get

the

Others

If

you're gon

na- be bad?

100

bad dest

- and

the

best,

No mat

ter

- where

you go

it's

who

you

know,

Bad dest

- and

the

best,

104

Put it to

the

test,

No you don't

get

mad,

You

just

get

You don't

get

mad,

76



108

bad der- than all

the rest,

Hit him

hard

and

hit him

low,

Bad der- than all

the rest,

112

Do your bad

dest

- and

your

best!

Crystal

p

And I'm

J116

sure

the Lord

will

un der

- stand,-

If we has

to be a lit

tle- bit

un der

- hand,

-

120

When you're out

to

smite

the De

vil,

-

You got

ta- sink

down

to

his

le vel,-

124

Two Julies

We'll fix

you

up

to look

so

nice,

He won't

think

twice

127

be fore-

he

makes

his

move,

It's an

ea

sy - case

to

prove,

131 K

And

Justin

when

it's

up

there

on

that

screen,

When the

truth

135

is

fin

al- ly

- seen.

Denny

You're

gon

na- be a T.

V.

star,

And the

139

whole

world's

gon na- know

who

you are,

You'll be

the

best

77



142 L

there's

e

ver

- been!

Shell

Now

that

bad,

bad

man,

146

Is

gon

na

- rot

in

hell!

I'll

make him

wish

Denny (Very free)

He's gon

na- rot

a

way -

in

hell.

150

we'd

ne ver

- met,

'Cos

I'm

He's gon

na- wish

he ne ver- e

ver

- met

you,

153

in the

mood,

For a good

night

- kiss

and

tell,

In

the mood,

For a good

night

- kiss and

tell,

157

This 'll- be

a face

he

won't

for

get!

-

He ain't ne

ver- e ver- gon

na- for get-

you,

M161

And

Shell & Denny

he'll

be

his

to

- ry -

be fore-

the day

is

done,

78



165

We may

be

cra

zy

- but

re

venge

-

is

fun!

If

you're gon

na- be

N169

bad?

You got

ta- be the bad

dest

- and

the

best?

Others

If

you're gon

na- be bad?

Bad dest

- and

the

best!

172

Don't

get

messed

a round-

and

tram

- pled

down,

Get it off

your

chest!

Don't

get

messed

a round-

and

tram

- pled

down,

Get it off

your

chest!

176

No

you don't

get

mad,

You just

get

bad der- than all

the rest.

You don't

get

mad,

bad der- than all

the rest.

180

Shell

Who's

the bad

dest

- girl

in

town?

79



184 O

pp

The bad

dest,-

the bad

dest,-

The bad

dest-

and

the

best,

pp

The bad

dest,-

the bad

dest,-

The bad

dest-

and

the

best,

188

The

cresc.

bad

dest,-

the bad

dest,-

The bad

cresc.

dest

- of

the

bad

-

The

cresc.

bad

dest,-

the bad

dest,-

The bad

cresc.

dest

- of

the

bad

-

192

- est

and

The

Bad dest

- And

The

Best!

- est

and

The

Bad

dest- And

The Best!

q = 165

14a. Scene Change

Cue: Okay, everybody else get back in your cells, yeah?(Justin leads Shell out and the other women hurry off to their cells.)

[Vamp]

80



Gentle Country Rock feel

q = 130

15. First Lady (Jim & Shell)

A

Warning: Just piss in the pot, will you?Cue: Better make me believe I can still get

what I want from you, then.

Shell

mp freely

I

need

a man

with his hand

on

the

6

wheel,

Who

has

the po

wer

- to go

far.

Jim: Yep, you bet. All the way to the top.

10

You

need

a

wo

man

- who'll

show

you

the

13

way

to re

veal,-

What What

kindkind

of man

you

tru

ly -

17

are.

Jim: Oh, I'll be revealing everything, darling.

It's just

the two

of

us

with

21

no

one- else

to

see,

So why

not

start

re veal-

ing - your

25 B

self

to

me,

I'll

be

your

mf

First

La

dy -

Of The

29

Night

Won't

you

come

out

and

play,

I'm tak

ing

- you

81



33

all

the

way.

If you

can

go

the

dis

tance,

-

37

I'll

of fer

-

no

re sis

- tance,

-

You know

we've

al

ways

- been

so

41

right.

I'm

your

First

La

dy -

Of

The

45 C Verse 2

Night.

Jim

But

mp

let's

not

for

get,

- luv,

That a

49

man

needs

his

space,

To

come and

go

as

he may

53

please

Shell: Don't you worry about that, Jim.

Shell

You You

can

bebe

sure

that

a

wo

man

- like

57

me

knows

her

place . . .

I'll

be here

wait ing -

on

my

61D

knees,

Shell

And you

have

no

i

dea-

what

Jim

And you

have

no

i

dea-

what

82



65

treats

you have

in

store.

I'm gon

na

- have

you like you've ne

ver- been

treats

you have

in

store.

I'm gon

na

- have

you like you've ne

ver- been

69

E

had

be

fore,-

I'll

be

your . . .

mf

First

La

dy -

of

the

had

be

fore,-

mf

First

La

dy -

of

the

73

night,

Turn

all

the

lights

down

low,

We're in

for

an

night,

Turn

all

the

lights

down

low,

We're in

for

an

77

all

night

show,

Just give

in

to

temp

ta-

tion,

-

all

night

show,

Just give

in

to

temp

ta-

tion,

-

81

'Cos

in

this

sit

u- a

- tion,

-

You can't

de ny -

it feels

so

'Cos

in

this

sit

u- a

- tion,

-

You can't

de ny -

it feels

so

83



85

right.

I'm

your

First

mp

La

dy

-

of of

thethe

right.

mp

First La dy - of of thethe

89 F

night.

mf

You

real

ly

- rock

me off

my

feet,

May

be

- it's

night.

mf

You

real

ly

- rock

me off

my

feet,

May

be

- it's

93

meant

to

be,

To

ge

- ther

- we

could have

this

whole

world

in our

meant

to

be,

To

ge

- ther

- we

could have

this

whole

world

in our

97

hands.

Ba

by

- we're

turn

ing - up

the

heat,

This

is

your

hands.

Ba

by

- we're

turn

ing - up

the

heat,

This

is

your

101

des

ti

- ny.

-

You and

me,

We've got

some

thing

-

des

ti

- ny.

- You and

me,

We've got

some

thing

-

105 G

no

one

- un der

stands.

-

f

First

no

one

- un der

stands.

-

f

First

84



109

La

dy -

of

the

night.

Turn

all

the

lights

down

low,

La

dy -

of

the

night.

Turn

all

the

lights

down

low,

113

We're in

for

an

all

night

show.

Just give

in

to-

We're in

for

an

all

night

show.

Just give

in

to-

117

temp

ta-

tion,

-

'Cos

in

this

sit

u- a

- tion,

-

You can't

de ny -

temp

ta-

tion,

-

'Cos

in

this

sit

u- a

- tion,

-

You can't

de ny -

121

it feels

so

right,

I'm

your

First

it feels

so

right,

First

125

La

dy,

-

and on

ly

- La

dy

- Of

The

Night.

La

dy,

- My

First

La

dy

- Of

The

Night.

129

85



= 165

(Shell & Chorus)

15a. The Baddest and the Best – Reprise

[Vamp]

Exit Cue: Give me the bloody key

[Vamp]

Exit Cue: What the hell are you doing?

Kbd

[Vamp]

Exit Cue: Help! Fire!

5 A

Shell

If

you're gon

na- be

bad?

You got

ta- be the

Chorus (unseen)

If

you're gon

na- be bad?

8

bad dest

- and

the

best?

Don't

get

messed

a round-

and

tram

-

Bad dest

- and

the

best!

Don't

get

messed

a round-

and

tram

-

11

pled

- down,

Get it off

your

chest!

No

you don't

get

mad,

pled

- down,

Get it off

your

chest,

You don't

get

mad,

15

You just

get

bad der- than all

the rest.

Shell

Who's

the

Bad der- than all

the rest.

19

bad dest

- girl

in

town?

cresc.

The

Bad dest

- And

The

Best!

86



q = 100

16. This Is My Life(Helen, Nikki, Yvonne & Prisoners)

Cue

Warning: Five, four, three, two, . . . one!Cue: - Be good.- Oh, we will, sir.

- After you.

5

9

13

17

[Vamp]Exit Cue: When you're free.

A q = 120

21

I'm

Nikki

gon na- be there,

That's a prom ise - I won't break,

25

I'm

Helen

gon na- be

there,

Watch ing - o

ver- ev

'ry

- move

you

make,

29

This

Nikki

is

my

life,

Start

liv ing - it,

Helen

This is

your

life,

keep

giv ing - it

87



77

good.

I have

plans,

good.

I have

plans,

81

And I

have

dreams,

'Though may

be

- some of

them

are just

And I

have

dreams,

'Though may

be

- some of

them

are just

84

cra zy

- schemes,

But still

I

Wan na

- try,

To be

some

one,

-

cra zy

- schemes,

But still

I

Wan na

- try,

To be

some

one,

-

88

Just give

me

a

chance

and I'm

gon

na

- take it,

To

es

-

Just give

me

a

chance

and I'm

gon

na

- take it,

To

es

-

91

cape

from

the

cy

cle

- and

break it,

I wan na- show

them

why

cape

from

the

cy

cle

- and

break it,

I wan na- show

them

why

90



94

I am

some

one,

-

I am

some one,

-

97

And when

I make

it

out

of this place,

From the mo

ment

- I

walk

through

that

And when

I make

it

out

of this place,

From the mo

ment

- I

walk

through

that

100

door.

What e

ver- shit

life

throws

in my face,

I am

door.

What e

ver- shit

life

throws

in my face,

I am

103

not gon na- take

a ny

- more,

-

I'm

head ing

- on

not gon na- take

a ny

- more,

-

I'm

head ing

- on

106

Julie S

On a

beach,

my

way,

To where

I

want to

be,

my

way,

To where

I

want to

be.

91



109

Kick ing

- sand

from our shoes,

Yvonne

There's a

bar,

Where I'm

Julie J

With our

kids,

kick ing - sand

from our shoes,

There's

Nikki

a bar,

Crystal

Where I'm

112

sing ing - the blues,

Shell

Get ting

- wast

ed- on cheap

fo reign- booze,

But

All

if

sing ing - the blues,

Denny

Get ting

- wast

ed- on cheap

fo reign- booze,

But

All

if

115

that is the life

I

chose,

If that

is the life

I

chose,

that is the life

I

chose,

If that

is the life

I

chose,

118

I'm

gon na

- be

there,

I've

got ta

-

I'm

gon na

- be

there,

I've

got ta

-

122

be

there,

I'm

gon na

- be

there,

be

there,

I'm

gon na

- be

there,

92



125

I

wan

na

- be

there.

I

wan

na

- be

there.

129

16a. This Is My Life – Playoff (optional)

93



Latin q = 180

17. Curtain Call(Company)

Cue

A 5

10

15

B21

36 C

41

q = 90

(Cue)

Yvonne &Prisoners

We're

on

the

D Jazz 8's45

A

List,-

Come out

and

play

list,

Won't

49

stop

'til we drop,

'Cos we're on

the

top

to

night

-

94



53

(Cue)

Hey

Mis ter,-

Don't

turn

out

that

light.

Hey

Mis ter,-

Don't

turn

out

that

light!

56

Freely q = 172

18. Playout (Optional)

60

95



Les Petits

Rats

Music by

PETER ALLWOODBook & Lyrics by

JEREMY JAMES TAYLOR& DAVID SCOTT

Tuba

JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED 12 – 14 Mortimer Street

London W1T 3JJ

Tel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 9616www.josef-weinberger.com



IMPORTANT:

DO NOT DEFACE THIS MATERIAL!Should you find it necessary to mark cues

or cuts, use a soft black lead pencil only.All markings should be erased BEFORE

bad girls perusal libretto & vocal score

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