Baseline Essay Results

DE102 Periods 1 and 4

Fall 2015

Score Perception

• Writing is connected to ego; it’s natural to feel slighted.

• Grades are often perceived as judgment.

• In reality, a grade is a single score that reflects one performance.

• When rubric criteria is changed, an A essay could easily become an F essay.• Translation: a great piece of writing, that doesn’t meet the basic criteria,

could receive a poor score.

• The act of comparing your scores to other individuals alters your sense of success.

By the numbers

• 38 students

• 8 hours of grading time

• 1 hour of grade analysis

• 40% did not have a title

• 17% did not brainstorm, plan, outline, or draft

• 12% ran out of time

• 2% did not submit a complete essay.

Grade breakdown:

• 15 A’s (39.4%)

• 12 B’s (31.5%)

• 5 C’s (13%)

• 6 D’s/F’s (15%)

Oops

• Many people wasted upwards of 3 pages summarizing the prompt!

• Many people discussed what they did but did not justify why they did it.

• Many people used empty sentences like: “I realized what I wanted to do…”, “I didn’t know what to do.”, “I’m going to tell you what I did…”, “In this letter I will tell you about…”

• Many students forgot to write in paragraphs.

My bad…

• Important: an informal essay still has a formal tone.

• I use the terms informal and formal to refer to my grading system.

• All essays for a college class should be professional (formal).

• This error was common and significantly influenced the data.

• If this were a formal assignment, this mistake would result in an opportunity to rewrite the paper without penalty.

Grade breakdown:

• 15 A’s (39.4%)

• 12 B’s (31.5%)

• 5 C’s (13%)

• 6 D’s/F’s (15%)

• 71% of students scored above average

Oops

• Formal, professional essays can still have a sense of humor, identity, or even irony—just watch your word choice.

• Colloquialisms are painful!

• “strait out”, “flat out”, “crazy”, “so amazing”, “super sketchy”, “it sucked”, “wasn’t about to”, “hold up”, “freaked out”, “freaking amazing”, “so anyways”, “I was like”

More of this:

• Clear and assertive statements are very effective!• “I decided it was more important to do something meaningful.” –

Sydnee

• “I chose this destination for two key reasons…” –Jackie

• “Because I knew the BMW would draw extra attention to me, I chose not to drive it at all.” –Ericka

• Use of research to inspire creativity.• Dean’s actual name, ref: to local businesses, landmarks, addresses,

etc. -Jessica

More of this:

• Interpret and justify:• “I quickly realized communication was most likely discouraged” –

Laney

• “Regardless of the purpose of the experiment, I had a plan for myself…that taught me many things I need for college.” –Bryana

• “Because I know that colleges like to have positive attention, I…” -Chloe

Thesis Statements

• “I assumed I was being tested on my responsibility, creativity, and social interaction.” –Justus.

• “I decided to use my actions to prove to the university that I was responsible and dedicated.” –Danielle G

• “I quickly determined that this experiment was a test to see how far I could go and still make it back in time.” –Hudson

• “I realized this was an exercise in trust”. –Brandon

Let’s analyze the prompt

The University of __________________ decides to do away with the traditional college application process. In a bizarre twist of fate, they have decided to filter student applicants through a stimulus-based social experiment. After scrutinizing basic data-based applications (including class rank, GPA, extracurricular involvement, financial status, test scores, etc.), the university panel narrows the pool of applicants down to 10 potential students.

The ten students are taken to the Dean’s office, given a set of keys, an envelope, and a smartphone. They are told they have a five-day furlough in which to utilize the resources however they please. Their use of this time will determine their acceptance, but they are given no parameters or hints as to what types of activities would impress the panels. The students are then escorted to the parking lot. The keys are for a 2015 BMW M4 convertible, the envelope holds $20,000 cash, and the phone has 2G data but no phone or texting access.

You are one of the ten. What do you do during the five days? How do you justify your actions to the acceptance committee?

Let’s analyze the prompt

The University of __________________ decides to do away with the traditional college application process. In a bizarre twist of fate, they have decided to filter student applicants through a stimulus-based social experiment. After scrutinizing basic data-based applications (including class rank, GPA, extracurricular involvement, financial status, test scores, etc.), the university panel narrows the pool of applicants down to 10 potential students.

The ten students are taken to the Dean’s office, given a set of keys, an envelope, and a smartphone. They are told they have a five-day furlough in which to utilize the resources however they please. Their use of this time will determine their acceptance, but they are given no parameters or hints as to what types of activities would impress the panels. The students are then escorted to the parking lot. The keys are for a 2015 BMW M4 convertible, the envelope holds $20,000 cash, and the phone has 2G data but no phone or texting access.

You are one of the ten. What did you do during the five days? How do you justify your actions to the acceptance committee?

Let’s analyze the prompt

The University of __________________ decides to do away with the traditional college application process. In a bizarre twist of fate, they have decided to filter student applicants through a stimulus-based social experiment. After scrutinizing basic data-based applications (including class rank, GPA, extracurricular involvement, financial status, test scores, etc.), the university panel narrows the pool of applicants down to 10 potential students.

The ten students are taken to the Dean’s office, given a set of keys, an envelope, and a smartphone. They are told they have a five-day furlough in which to utilize the resources however they please. Their use of this time will determine their acceptance, but they are given no parameters or hints as to what types of activities would impress the panels. The students are then escorted to the parking lot. The keys are for a 2015 BMW M4 convertible, the envelope holds $20,000 cash, and the phone has 2G data but no phone or texting access.

You are one of the ten. What did you do during the five days? How do you justify your actions to the acceptance committee?

Let’s analyze the prompt

The University of __________________ decides to do away with the traditional college application process. In a bizarre twist of fate, they have decided to filter student applicants through a stimulus-based social experiment. After scrutinizing basic data-based applications (including class rank, GPA, extracurricular involvement, financial status, test scores, etc.), the university panel narrows the pool of applicants down to 10 potential students.

You are one of the ten. What did you do during the five days? How do you justify your actions to the acceptance committee?

This is what you write about:

The University of __________________

10 potential students.

What did you do during the five days?

How do you justify your actions to the acceptance committee?

Interpret intent

• What kind of student does the university want? Did you justify your actions as meeting their needs or your own?

• Did you establish yourself as the best candidate of the ten?

• Did you do something creative that the other candidates would not have considered?

• How did your actions represent you as a student?

• How did your actions represent the university?

Consider this approach…

• List the main actions in your introduction and then assertively state one reason to justify those.

• In your body paragraphs, siphon each experience down the lessons learned for life and school. Always relate back to your justification.

Consider this approach…

• List the main actions in your introduction and then assertively state one reason to justify those.

• In your body paragraphs, siphon each experience down the lessons learned for life and school. Always relate back to your justification.

• End with a compelling argument for your acceptance.

Based on these results…

• What would you have done differently?

• What grade do you think you earned?

• How will you approach the next prompt?

Most importantly

This is just ONE paper

for a silly prompt

graded by a person you hardly know

who hardly knows you.

Most importantly

There’s chocolate.