• One of the simplest ways to build a positive relationship is to spend quality time with children.

• Offering them positive attention creates an environment where children become more eager to please, more respectful, and are more affected by consequences.

Example

• When kids receive regular doses of healthy, positive attention, they reduce their attention seeking behaviors. For example, kids are less likely to whine, ask the same question over and over, or start poking at their sibling.

• Establishing a set of household rules helps kids understand which behaviors are acceptable, and which ones are off limits.

• A list of household rules can also help kids understand how rules differ in different environments. For example, it may be acceptable to yell at the playground but that's not OK in the library.

• It is important to discuss what sort of discipline strategies will be used to address the rules. There should be positive and negative consequences for kids that help them to follow the rules.

(5) WAYS TO TEACH YOUR CHILD ANGER MANAGEMENT SKILLS

1. Differentiate Between Feelings and Behavior

• Kids often have difficulty understanding the difference between angry feelings and aggressive behavior.

• Teach your child how to identify and verbalize feelings instead of acting them out.

• Also, give the message that feeling angry is OK. Anger is like any other emotion, and there are times that it is appropriate to feel angry. This can help kids learn that feeling and talking about angry feelings aren’t bad.

2. Model Appropriate Anger Management Skills

• It’s essential that you role model appropriate behavior to teach kids how to manage their anger. If your kids see you lose your cool, they’ll be much more likely to have trouble managing their own anger or understanding what’s appropriate and what isn’t.

• Create opportunities to talk about feelings and share appropriate ways to deal with them.

• Take responsibility for your behavior when you lose your cool in front of your kids. Apologize and discuss what you should have done instead

Example

• Say, “I am sorry that you had to see me yelling today when I was mad. I should have gone for a walk to cool off when I was angry instead of raising my voice.”

3. Establish Anger Rules

• Anger rules should center around behaving respectfully toward others. Kids need to learn that just because they feel angry it doesn’t give them a right to hurt anyone.

• Address areas such as physical aggression, name calling and destruction of property so that kids know they can’t throw things, break things or lash out verbally or physically when they’re mad.

4. Teach Healthy Ways to Manage Anger

• Teach them to take a break when they are becoming frustrated.

• Show them how to relax by doing something enjoyable.

• Also, teach problem-solving skills and help them learn how to resolve conflict peacefully.

• Most importantly, teach them to walk away when they are angry before they become aggressive.

5. Offer Consequences When Necessary

• Kids need positive consequences when they follow the anger rules and negative consequences when they break the rules.

(10) WAYS TO TEACH CHILDREN IMPULSE CONTROL

1. Teach Kids About Feelings

• When kids develop an understanding of the difference between feelings and behaviors, it can help them control their impulses.

• A child who understands that it is okay to feel mad but not okay to hit, can see that he has choices about how to deal with his feelings without reacting impulsively.

2. Teach Listening Skills

• Teach your child to listen to directions by asking him to repeat back what you said before he takes any action.

3. Teach Problem-Solving Skills

• Teach your child to brainstorm several solutions to a problem. Then, show him how to consider the pros and cons of each potential solution. This will help your child learn to think before he acts.

4. Teach Anger Management Skills

• Teach your child how to manage his anger so he can calm himself down when he’s upset.

5. Establish Household/Classroom Rules

• Develop clear rules that help your child know what is expected of him.

6. Provide Structure

• Keep your discipline consistent and your child's routine the same.

• If you are consistent in saying, “You need to hold my hand in the parking lot when we get out of the car,” each and every time you go to the store, your child will be much less apt to take off running in the parking lot.

7. Practice Delayed Gratification

• Sometimes parents don’t tell kids about fun activities or surprises until right before hand because they know their child will ask about it constantly.

8. Model Appropriate Behavior

• Your child will learn a lot about impulse control by watching you.

• Model appropriate ways to wait patiently and tolerate delayed gratification.

9. Encourage Physical Activity

• When kids are physically active they have a better chance at managing their impulses. Encourage moderate amounts of physical activity. Outdoor activity can be especially helpful.

10. Play Impulse Control Games

• Play games that provide a young child with a fun way to practice impulse control.

• Games such as Simon Says, Red Light Green Light, or Follow the Leader require impulse control.

• There is also research from Stanford University that shows playing memory games can improve impulse control.