BILLY THE KIDIN BED

with his stereotypea radio play

byLarry Goodell

Hear this playas it premiered on KUNM-FM

Albuquerque

Copyright © 2012 Larry Goodellcover drawing by the author

a duendebook2012

po box 571 placitas, new mexico 87043 USAlarrynewmex@gmail.com

BILLY THE KIDIN BED

(with his stereotype)

a radio playby

Larry Goodell25Aug77

CHARACTERS:

Billy the Kid - Mark SchillerGuard (Pat Garrett) - Jim BurlesonChorus (3 people, at least

2 of them women) - Kay Matthews,Connie Varola, Larry Goodell

Mark's NY accent was perfect, as was the excellent Jim Burleson as Pat Garrett . . .

this presentation here is in memory of Mark Schiller . . . many thanks to Ned Sublette who worked with us on several wonderful

productions on KUNM & at the Vortex Theater.

Premiered on KUNM-FM Albuquerque, New MexicoProduced by Ned Sublette, directed by Larry Goodell

Recorded October 11, 1977.

BILLY: I want my stereo in jail with me.GUARD: Your stereo ! ! !CHORUS: Stereo stereo stereo

stereo type!BILLY: I want my stereotype in bed with me.GUARD: No one in bed with you.CHORUS: He wants his stereo in bed with him!

Stereo stereo stereostereotype!

GUARD: This is a jail, no stereo, no company,a single cell, Billy the Kid in his cell.

CHORUS: But Billy can have his stereotypewherever he goes.

1. in bed2. in his head3. in his deep dark dread

CHORUS: of night.BILLY: The Blood of my people

weighs on me dark & dreary.CHORUS: He is covered with

the lawn of his people.GUARD: Billy you may not mow the lawn in your cell.BILLY: The grass is greener on the other side

of my bed. I want to listento somebody else’s stereo.

CHORUS: He wants to listen to somebody else’sstereo. Stereo stereo typesomeone else’s stereotype.

BILLY: I am a walking cliché & I wantmy stereotype in bed with me &I want to mow the lawn in my own jail cell.

CHORUS: He wants to mow the lawn in his own red cell.GUARD: Billy gushes cells.CHORUS: Red & green & somebody else’s scene.BILLY: In the deep dark red of the night

somebody else’s dream.I never did anything but wantwhat I want & some say I was stupid.

-1-

GUARD: Stupid to kill so many menbut if you killed all the menyou might have your stereotype in bedyou might have your green lawn mowed& the blood all off it.

BILLY: The Blood of my people is on the lawnthe lawn in my cellthe stereo singsan old songa song nobody can tell.

GUARD: Listen, Billy the Kid was stupid to killall the men in his dream.

BILLY: It wasnt a dream it was the Blood of my Pimple.CHORUS: Billy, picking your pimples again.

Too bad you never lived long enoughto growup.Kid, Kid wanting the lawn to fold up in your dream.

GUARD: Alright Billy what is your last dying wish.BILLY: To have in bed my stereo.CHORUS: Stereo type cliché in bed.

Billy wants a cliché in bednot his giant panda or his raggedy ann doll.

GUARD: Okay name it, now’s the time.Billy, what do you want in bed.

BILLY: The Rio Grande.CHORUS: The Rio Grande.BILLY: I want a giant river in bed with me.

And a cottonwood.CHORUS: Cottonwood, Billy the Kid

wants a cottonwood tree in bed.GUARD: The Rio Grande, a cottonwood!BILLY: I want an adobe in bed with me.GUARD: Turn over now make room

the Rio Grande, a cottonwood nowan adobe in bed with Billy the Kid.

BILLY: Not just a adobe, a adobe house.

-2-

CHORUS: A adobe house.1. Billy the Kid are you stupid? (one person from chorus)

BILLY: I killed 21 people on record& some you dont know about.

CHORUS: Shoot him down dead he’s an outlaw.BILLY: I want my green lawn under the sheets.GUARD: Okay make room, roll up the turf!BILLY: I want a New Mexico postcard sunset.GUARD: Make room for the sun.BILLY: And some chile & pinto beans alfalfa

cotton maize squash & corn plants.CHORUS: In bed with your stereo

stereo stereostereo type is life.

GUARD: It’s Billy’s last wish.CHORUS: But he’s an outlaw stupid too

stupid outlaw notches all over his gun.BILLY: My gun in bed.GUARD: Give him his gun, his last wish.BILLY: Piñon, juniper, crew-cut kids.

Sangre de Cristos. Sierra Blanca.Plenty of fritos too.

CHORUS: He wants them all in bed Billy’slast wish will be heard.

GUARD: Make room, just move over therethis river keeps rising & falling.

CHORUS: I wonder who’s kissing her now.BILLY: A arabian horse too. A yucca &

a hot air balloon.CHORUS: A yucca & a hot air balloon.GUARD: Make room in bed for a hot air balloon.BILLY: Arts & crafts go well in bed.

A coyote too makes me feel at home,a deer & a antelope, russian olivechamisa & prickly pear.

CHORUS: A prickly pear in bed with an outlawa stupid killer boy in bed.But watch that gun.

-3-

BILLY: It’s my gun, look at the notchesfeel the trigger. It goes well with the sun.

CHORUS: Your New Mexico postcard sunset.There’s bulge in the sheets.

BILLY: I want an eagle, a bear, a taco.GUARD: Give Billy a taco.CHORUS: He’s got his Stetson now he wants a burro.BILLY: Give me a turquoise studded moon

I will listen to my stereo before I die.CHORUS: A stereo with an arroyo

right down through the middle.BILLY: Adobe hacienda

the grateful deadgive me my stereo.

CHORUS: Stereo types —Lariat, beef, tortilla, cholla.

BILLY: Lariat, cows, silver & turquoise.GUARD: Here comes the canyon, there is a bandit in it.CHORUS: The turquoise-studded horse manure.BILLY: All I want is my last wish, death wish, eh?GUARD: Here is a Coors, your last dying wish.BILLY: Oh where is my Ford pickup.CHORUS: Ford Chevy 6 pickup.BILLY: Give me a marlboro before I go,

some kool-aid to drink in the bosque.CHORUS: That bed is getting bigger & bigger

is there room for all of this.For all, all, all of this.Is this the dying wish.

GUARD: Everything in bed, the mistletoethe piñon-juniper studded hills.

CHORUS: Piñon-studded dying hillsin bed with the stereo, stereo type.

BILLY: In bed with the stereotype.CHORUS: Your type.GUARD: His type will be blown from the face of the earth.CHORUS: His stupid type will be blown from the face of the earth.

-4-

BILLY: Now give me Pat Boone,Roy Rogers, Trigger, Lassiea bronc-bustin marlboro packmy last smoke goes down in the dream.

CHORUS: And at last the dream is dead.BILLY: Oh turquoise skies & silver moon

in bed we learn the outlaw’s dream.GUARD: But have all these elements of the southwestern dream

been installed with I U D’s.CHORUS: Yes the cottonwood tree, the saloon, the mistletoe

all have I U D’s.GUARD: And Billy’s gun?BILLY: My gun has an I U D, I wdnt have it

any other way.CHORUS: Billy’s gun has an I U D

so does the prickly pear & the Sandias.The Sandias have an I U D.

BILLY: In bed with me, anyone has an I U D.CHORUS: But Billy, stupid pimply Billy

do you care about birth control.BILLY: I control it with my gun.CHORUS: Your gun, your gun, but do

you have one.BILLY: A what.GUARD: Billy’s got an a what.BILLY: I got what I got

it’s all in bed with me.CHORUS: But what you got you stupid

pimply face Kid.BILLY: The blood of my people

is in bed with me.My desert mesa gringosmy rolly-polly Peter Hurdjuniper studded hills.

CHORUS: Oh cliché in the bedstereo in the bed typedBilly the Kid, his last wisheverything New Mexico

-5-

Southwestern, SouthwesternWest & SouthBilly are you regional?

BILLY: I am a regional Southwestern outlawI am dumb & pretty.

CHORUS: Pretty.GUARD: Even I will say

Billy the Kid is the ugliestkid on the block.

CHORUS: A loner, but not a doper,now he has them all in bed.Make your last wish.

BILLY: It is this. Here it is.GUARD: What is that bulge in Billy’s bed.CHORUS: Watch out!BILLY: Chicano, Indian, Gringo, all of youse

are done with!Coyote has an I U D.Lobo has one too.Sandia Lab is here in bed.Sandia Lab has one too.It is all frolic & here iswhat I’m going to do.

GUARD: Billy, you cant do this to us.BILLY: Let me out, here I go.GUARD: Ok Billy but you’ll pay until your dying day.BILLY: Open Sesame & now

I have everything againa Southwest Regional local-yocal hoodlumbandit killer till Ikill you all everyday.

CHORUS: No! Not us birds, clouds, knights, days, sunsets,long skinny roads!

GUARD: Youll go through it again Billy.BILLY: Never! (Bam)

(Bam Bam Bam)GUARD: And here’s the one you deserve,

you pimply-faced stupid kid.

-6-

CHORUS: Patio. (loud)Boredom.Total self-righteous lack of anythinggoing, but bad bad art,& American Opinion opinions.

GUARD: Turn the Bible back to Christ.CHORUS: Crust.BILLY: Crushed, you have

killed the only stupid legend youhave everhad.

CHORUS: The only stupid legend wehave ever had.

END

Note: “The intrauterine device (IUD) is a form of birth control; it is an object placedin the uterus to prevent pregnancy.”

-7-

BILLY THE KIDIN BED

with his stereotypea radio play

byLarry Goodell