biscuit magazine - issue one
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October 2010, Issue OneTRANSCRIPT
Using oUr powers for good not evil
Bleeding Heart is a profit for pUrpose enterprise witH a conscience & a difference.
Cafe n Food n Coffee n Art Gallery n Meetings n Events Designer Gifts n Free Wifi n Distinct n Exceptional n Ethical
Bleeding Heart166 Ann StBrisbane, Q 4001t 07 3229 0395e [email protected]
Mincom Building
Central Station
Palace BackpackersAnn St
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ArD St
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October 2010 Issue
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EditorJil Hogan
Creative Director/Co-EditorSarah Robertson
Lead Designer/Web DesignRowan Hogan
ContributorsKristian Hollins, Erica Bartle, Kelly Forbes,
Esther Gallois, Matthew Newton, Paul Smeaton, Elizabeth Sims, Lauren Sewell, Craig Sims, Chris Steele, Kieran Salsone, Kyla Sorenne, Tara Downie, Kristian Smith, Angela Bowen
IllustrationsCraig Nelson
PhotographyKristian Hollins, Steve Hogan
AdvertisingMaddie Johns / Julia Mackerras
MarketingNext Step Marketing
www.biscuitmagazine.com.au
biscuit magazine is free and issued monthly. Email [email protected].
ABN 33 407 496 992No part of this magazine may be reproduced without written
permission from the copyright holder.
Rowan Hogan, Lead Designer / Web Design:
What was your favourite child-hood movie?The Mask. “When I play my ma-racas I go chick-chicky- boom, chick-chicky-boom...”
What is your signature dish?Roast lamb with ratatouille and crunchy parmesan polenta.What is your karaoke specialty?‘Crash Test Dummies - Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm’.What did you want to be when you grew up?Just like my LEGO men stereotypes - spaceman, pirate, knight...What is your favourite biscuit?Coffee Scrolls - to my knowledge they no longer exist.
Kelly Forbes, Beauty Writer:
What was your favourite child-hood movie?Disney’s Aladdin! It has the best songs.What is your signature dish?Chicken and Mango Puff Pastry Pillows. Although I can’t take credit for it - it was my Mum’s invention.What is your karaoke specialty?Jon Bon Jovi’s ‘Living on a Prayer’. Who could re-sist?What did you want to be when you grew up?A Paleontologist. I was obsessed with dinosaurs... then I picked up a magazine.What are you most afraid of?The dark. Or more specifically what’s in the dark.What is your favourite biscuit?Whichever has the most chocolate crammed into it!
Cover Design: Sarah Robertson & Rowan Hogan
Magazines are magnificent things. They look incredible. They let us escape into a beautiful little glossy world. They fit per-fectly in your lap. And the smell of one, fresh from the newsstand is unequal to any other aroma in the world.As more and more amazing print titles meet their untimely death, we are forced to embrace new media to get our fix. Instead of counting our losses, we look forward to the new aspects now available to us. While the smell is gone, online pub-lications bring with them a host of new perks. biscuit started as a tiny idea. And as they say, from little things, big things do in-deed grow (try getting that out of your head for the rest of the day). As our new readers, we look forward to sharing lots of good times with you. Our goal is to inform you, inspire you, and most importantly, make you chuckle. If you ever want to get in touch, we’re only an email away.So sit back with your cuppa, and dunk yourself into the world of biscuit.
Jil and Sarah
[email protected]@biscuitmagazine.com.au
editor’s note
Love collecting limited edition prints but don’t like stashing them away in your cupboard? Meet Uncle Phuncle. A range of unique and quirky cartoons lov-ingly presented on a T-shirt, with limited prints re-leased every six months. And now for the gals, Lady Phuncle is a range of 50’s and 60’s inspired handmade pieces. All pieces are designed and made in Australia, and screen printing is done using solvent free print-ing, making it kinder to the environment.www.unclephuncle.com
Want a bit of Uncle Phuncle for yourself? We have two tees for the guys, and two Phuncle Mini skirts (pictured) for the
girls. To win, email your name and size to [email protected] with ‘Phuncle’ in the subject line.
crumbs
If you think artists deserve a little bit more than spare change for their hard work, head to bandcamp.com. The website offers a platform for artists to sell their music, in-cluding the option to allow fans to choose the price. Even through regular sales, artists get a much larger cut than on other sites.
The first album to add to your virtual bookshelf? Sufjan Stevens new album, The Age of Adz is out on October 12, available via bandcamp.com
The flooding disaster that has devastated Pakistan since July continues to cause chaos across the country. According to the United Nations, more than 21 million have been af-fected by the flooding, and a lack of safe drinking water has caused disease to spread. Use the cash you saved on biscuit magazine to help out a seriously deserving cause.
www.redcross.org.au
Want something to set your outfit apart this racing season? Miss Dish creates handmade hair accessories, brooches and jew-ellry which are just the thing to make your outfit pop. All pieces are vintage inspired and embrace bright, bold colours. Get your hands on a bit of Miss Dish at missdish.com
We have one Miss Dish 1930s gar-land of flowers
(pictured) to give away. For your chance to win, email your name to [email protected] with ‘Dish’ in the subject line.
Started by singer Moby and his ex-girlfriend Kelly, teany started as a tea shop in Manhattan. To save us all the twenty-odd hour flight over to the Big Apple, teany bottled teas are coming to us! Filled with lots of healthy stuff, and coming in delighful concoctions including green tea with lemonade and vanilla berry hibiscus.
As well as tasting delicious, they’re organically sweetened, low in calo-ries and carbs and with no pre-servatives. The perfect companion to what is sure to be an unbearable Summer.Keep your eye out for them - coming soon to a store near you.
www.teany.com.au or check them out on Facebook.
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October 20106
Dear China,I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed our time together recently. Although we got off to a rocky start, I think by the end we were fast becoming the best of friends. The hard part was that we speak different languages. I tried to speak Mandarin, I really did, but the tonal thing killed me. I won’t lie, being with you I felt alone a lot of the time. You were always busy with North Korea and the revolution and what-not. But I like you all the same. Love from, Kristian
To the Pigeon Community,I do not need to see you regurgitate your food and eat it then perform a mating ritual on the park table in front of me while I am eating my lunch..... Southbank is a family area.....Thank you, Tara.
Dear Huntsmans,Please don’t come back this summer. Your creepy-crawleyness is responsible for many walls with suspicious smudges and girly-man screams.From, Craig
Dear the People at Number 26,I regret to inform you that I am going to strangle your children. I am going to chop them up into tiny little pieces and feed them to my ever-hungry goldfish. It is Sunday morning and I, like most people, consider Sunday a day of rest; a day to sleep past seven in the morning. You however provide your evil pigtailed six-year-old with a fully in-flated basketball and her narcissistic eight-year-old brother with a skate board. I was up late last night, and now I am awake; bright and early, with a headache, as your possessed little children make repetitive noises beneath my bedroom window. Last weekend I had the strength to let it go; this weekend I’m not sure I can do it. Signed honestly, Your Enraged Neighbour.
Dear Freshly Roasted Coffee Beans,Thank you for so many, many things. Firstly, your intoxicating smell first thing this morning did wonders for waking me up. Secondly, your rich, pungent flavour in the blue floral cup clasped between my overworked hands made me feel complete inside. And thirdly; your fierce caffeine content instantly helped to stimulate my lethargic and somewhat hallucinating brain. Without you, I don’t know where I’d be!Your ever-grateful and appreciative friend, Juanita.
1For those of you who like a lit-tle fashion to go with func-
tion. These fully operational 4GB USB cufflinks come in gunmetal and gold. Not only will they cart around your documents with ease, they’ll jazz up the blandest of sleeves.www.cufflinks.com
5 Darth and his mates each store 4GB of data and are sure to jazz up your desk. With
just a swift decapitation, the figures will slot straight into your USB port. www.thinkgeek.com
2 It looks like your USB cable has been ripped in half. This 2GB
USB drive is sure to draw a few glances.www.worldwidefred.com
3Is it a key or a USB. No one will ever know, and up to 4GB of data is hand-
ily attached and camouflaged in with your keys. Never lose your USB again. Unless you always lose your keys – and that’s a whole other issue.www.lacie.com.au
4 With its sleek design and heavy duty aluminium frame,
this USB is the pick of the bunch. Available in up to 8GB and opera-tional as a sturdy bottle opener, what more could you ask for?www.trekstor.com.au
You store your whole life on them, but USB drives are easier to lose than your sanity on a 12-hour flight next to a newborn. Flashen up your flash drive!
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Last night my partner and her flock of squawking pals went to see The Travelling Sisterhood of the Princess Diaries (or some equally forgettable ‘rom-com’) which from her gushing review seemed to be a story about long distance relationships, Drew Barrymore and Macbooks. Great, I hear you moan; just another meat headed bro hating on chick-flicks. Granted, I do hate them, but I feel that it’s my duty to the rest of us betrothed gents to bring to the fore the crippling effect these works of es-trogenic propaganda have on our cosy little lives.For arguments sake, let’s say the last movie I went and saw was Rambo IV. I barely made a dent in my popcorn I was so engrossed in the action on screen. I laughed when Rambo delivered an epic one-liner while napalming a nursery, and I cried when his love interest was kidnapped by a Russian with a scar and a fluffy cat. And then I laughed some more at Sylvester Stallone’s face. The difference between Rambo IV and The Devil Wears Prada in the City 2 is that I didn’t gar-rotte and scalp the candy bar attendant on the way out, or violently hijack a vehicle outside the cin-ema to get home. When my partner got home last night I was subject to countless hours of painful and awkward in-depth relationship analysis. Like a murderer on trial, I withstood a good cop/bad cop style interrogation on topics as varied as when I want to have children, when I want to get married, what are my next three career moves, and will we have a perfect or dysfunctional family and (due to the fact I’m sporting a Ned Kelly-esque beard this month) will our children be abnormally hairy? Needless to say the night ended with her in tears and me feeling like Josef Fritzl on ‘bring your Dad to school’ day.So a word of caution: chick-flicks and rom-coms might serve an excellent purpose in occupying your missus for a few hours while you catch up on do-ing sit ups or watching Man vs. Wild, but beware, you’ve just become the leading man in a sopping wet biopic of a drama queen, and there will never be a happy ending.
I know a couple who are prone to PDAs and cu-tesy name-calling (“Possum Pooh Bear” is a new-bie). Their acts of public kissy-kissy used to make me want to vomit, but recently I started to see them in a different, adoring light. Why? Because I am happier in my relationship. My thesis? Rom-com haters are miserable.The bulging biceps of Matthew McConaughey or the svelte figure of Jessica Alba will irk those of us who are neither physically or mentally capable of exerting the energy and effort required to achieve such a form (other variables including genetics and personal chefs). Pass the cheese Doritos and cheesey macaroni with double cheese: if the bar is set too high, we simply give up. And then poke fun at those people for be-ing vain and too perfect to disguise our discontent as we mindlessly face-stuff. The same highly theoretical equation could be ap-plied to relationships. When we look a rom-com in the face, we become blindingly aware of how im-perfect our own coupledom is and of the widening gap between How I Want My Relationship To Be and How It Really Is.Just the same as MasterChef inspires us to get busy in the kitchen, so too can rom-coms inspire us to make the most out of our relationships.The climax of any rom-com is not between-the-sheets shenanigans, but The Grand Gesture; that statement of love that requires the giver to reach into their stores of romantic reserves to perform an act that says, I love you.I recently booked a flight and surprised my husband while he was on tour in Sydney. It knocked him for six. Three (long) years into our marriage, the sparkle had fizzled under the pressure of life stuff. Still, we have been determined to rekindle the love. The grand gesture is not just for Disney-fied rom-coms. Nor are cutesy code names or scenes where you wind up kissing upside down in the rain (oh, Spidey). They can happen in real-life. Sometimes it just takes a little pop-culture prompting to get your act together and open your eyes to the real-life rom-com playing out in your own life.
by Erica Bartle, girlwithasatchel.blogspot.com
by Chris Steele
tea & a biccie
are receiving. In a way we don’t want people to realise that they are listening to opera, we just want them to enjoy the whole experience.
What was your childhood like?I was a difficult kid; opinionated and headstrong. I was always getting pierced or dying my hair purple. Although I’m still like that, so my child-hood is really not that different to now, except I am married, I don’t live with my parents anymore and I have a mortgage.
What is something about you that would sur-prise people?I am a horrible nerd. I love playing computer games and comics and movies where stuff blows up all the time.
What does your typical day involve?Is there such a thing as a typical day? At the mo-ment my days are all about paperwork and emails while I try and get grants and applications fin-ished in between giving voicecraft coaching. If you had asked me two weeks ago, my days were about trying to figure out how and where I was going to set up a 10 by 8 metre lycra set, get my hands on two portable poles, organise or make costumes for eight dancers and coordinate two dozen performers. When you seem to be moving from project to project there is always some-thing new to do, something new to research and someone new to meet and there are never enough hours in the day.
What inspires you?I am inspired by talent, wonderful music, things that make your jaw drop and the amazing ways people can move. My goal is to combine all these things in the one place.
What do you love about what you do?I love being able to make my ideas come to life. I still like performing but directing opens up a whole new world to me where I can transform what’s inside my head to reality. I love being able to help young performers be seen and watch them create. I love that I will never have to work in a cubicle and everyday is different. www.outcastopera.com
Jordin Steele is the artistic director of Outcast Opera Company, a company for performers aged 18-30 that pushes the boundaries of classical music.
Why opera?I am just fascinated by people who do amazing things with their bodies. Opera singing is vocal acrobatics and about learning how to master a very problematic instrument that is hard to keep in tune, gets sick, gets nervous and sometimes just won’t work at all.
What has been the response to the shows you have done so far?I am pretty excited by the positive feedback we
1 Google has, once again, expanded on their vision of a universally accessible world of information
with their release of a web phone plug-in for Gmail. For the rest of this year, users of Google’s email service can now call any landline in the U.S. and Canada for free; and for other countries, low rates are promised. Wonderful news, unless you work for Skype.
2Capitalising on the increasing prevalence of so-cial networking in our everyday lives, Spreets.
com.au has come up with a sound business strategy. Each day, their website features, “One amazing thing to do in your city for an unbelievable price.” The ex-tremely cheap deals cover a wide range of options, from top notch restaurants to whale watching. But, there’s a catch. Each deal is only activated once a certain number of people buy it, so it’s time to hit up Twitter / Facebook / email and tell your friends!
3After opening just over four months ago in Bris-bane’s Fortitude Valley, the world’s first dedi-
cated video cocktail bar, The Mana Bar, has become one of Brisbane’s success stories, and the proprie-tors are now looking to open new venues in Sydney and Melbourne before the end of the year. In fact, the concept of mixing alcohol and video games has proven to be such a hit that they’re currently in dis-cussions with entrepreneurs around the globe who would also like to become alcoholic-gaming business-men.
4 Toshiba is planning to release the world’s first 3D television that doesn’t require you to wear
unsightly and uncomfortable glasses. The electronics giant has apparently developed a new system which “emits a number of rays of light with various an-gles from the screen so that viewers can see stereo-scopic images without glasses.” The three models of the television will cost several thousand dollars, and should be available around the same time as most people turn their thoughts to Christmas shopping.
5 Telstra has announced its next generation wire-less USB modem, creatively named the Ultimate™
USB modem, and they’re claiming it allows peak network download speeds of up to 42Mbps. This is achieved through the use of dual-carrier technol-ogy, whereby wireless data is sent and received via two channels simultaneously. The test drive video showed the modem peaking at 25Mbps and given that these kinds of speeds are what you’d expect
bytes
from a cable connection, you can understand why they’re excited.
6 The Financial Times has revealed that Youtube is currently discussing plans with Hollywood to
create a pay-per-view movie service by the end of 2010. According to the Times, Youtube has been in talks with “Hollywood’s leading movie studios” for several months. The video streaming site has been running a trial of the system in the U.S. since the beginning of this year, with a small collection of indie titles. Although we here in Australia are cur-rently unable to access the trial site, it is still pos-sible to watch old Jackie Chan films and other suit-ably dated cinema at www.youtube.com/film.
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Through forward-looking courses, leading-edge research and a proven track record in growing creative enterprises, QUT is leading the way in the creative industries.
A variety of courses in performing arts, production, design, writing and communication, from bachelor degrees to PhD level are offered on the Kelvin Grove campus at QUT.
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With Collingwood having enjoyed their most suc-cessful season since their 1990 premiership and the England Cricket team set to do battle with Australia this Summer for the Ashes, I am reminded of the arch enemies we sporting nuts love to hate.As a youngster growing up playing Aussie Rules in the Winter and cricket in the Summer, I was taught at an early age that you barrack for your team first and then whoever was playing Collingwood second. Manly enjoys a similar love/hate relationship with fans of Rugby League in Australia, and without doubt Aussie cricket fans enjoy walloping the Poms more than any other opponent.But why do these teams engender such a passionate dislike like from opposition supporters? Why do we love to hate some teams?While the specific reasons may vary from team to team one thing is common to all codes; history. These rivalries developed in a time when the sport-ing codes were mostly centralised, suburban sport-ing competitions where your allegiances were deter-mined by your address. Often the most intense of these conflicts developed in times of social upheaval when sport was one of the few things everyone had in common.As a kid born to an Aussie Rules playing Father whose entire family barracked for Richmond, my path was clear early. The challenge in my house was that my Mum was born and bred in Collingwood and although not fanatical about the footy, she clearly didn’t take kindly to my Father’s attempt to indoctrinate the necessary Collingwood hatred.Manly Sea Eagles enjoy a similar relationship with fans as Collingwood, mainly courtesy of their geo-graphical position on Sydney’s north-shore. That privileged location meant wealthy benefactors sup-ported the club during its formative professional years, allowing the club to buy class players from the more financially strapped areas, causing discon-tent amongst rival fans.As far as cricket goes, the joy Australian fans re-ceive from beating the old enemy England for the Ashes remains unchallenged. Without doubt this ri-valry can be traced back to the early settlement of Australia by the British more than 200 years ago. As hard as it is to believe, many Aussie fans have managed to retain that convict attitude for multiple generations.Success also breeds discontent amongst your rivals, and one thing that is common to all hated sporting
clubs is a history of winning. Those already men-tioned plus Manchester United, the New York Yan-kees and even the Canterbury Crusaders in the still embryonic Super Rugby competition, all have success to blame for their predicament.But let’s face it sports fans, it’s time to admit the real problem. The simple answer is most of us se-cretly wish it was our team that was hated because of our success. But we’re not bitter, no way. Sorry but I have to go now I’ve just got to put a fresh Dane Swan photo on my dartboard. Damn those Magpies.
Summer is definitely on its way. I don’t know this because I routinely check out bom.gov.au and, un-fortunately for me, I haven’t been getting intimate with any hot weather girls. I know Summer is on its way because my stubby cooler has started mak-ing the yearly transition back from being a hand warmer, and the big Summer festivals are getting announced again, including the lineup for what will inevitably be the Biggest Day Out of my year, again.This January will be my 12th pilgrimage in a row to the Gold Coast Parklands and, while I may be an-other year older, I’m only slightly wiser than I was in 2000. I now know were the stages are, that a VIP ticket gets you into a cash-bar with no notice-able VIPs in sight and that the best advice to get through the day alive is to ‘pace yourself’. Advice I am yet to actually follow.My mates and I usually get down to the motel on the Saturday night and plan to have a few quiet drinks so we get some decent sleep. And every year we end up polishing off a few cartons, a couple of bottles of Jack and blaming each other at 5am because it’s too bright and we’re all too drunk to sleep. Either that or we’re trying to work out which one of us threw up and which side of the sliding glass door it’s on.Every year I see people who went too hard, too early. And when I say “every year I see people who”, I actu-ally mean “In 2002, I definitely”. How many people do you know that can honestly say they fell asleep during The Prodigy? I know one; me. I actually met one of the guys who was big-noting himself about doing the sound for The Prodigy that year, and he was not at all impressed when he found out that, for
the last half of their amazing set, I was snoozing on the hill. Some go to Big Day Out every year because they love the atmosphere. Some go to drink, start fights, randomly grab boobs or they just love the feeling of police dogs sniffing their crotches. I’m certain there are even some people out there who go simply because it’s the best excuse to take your shirt off and get covered in a stranger’s sweat without the awkwardness of actually paying for sex. But for the most part, I think we all go back there every year for the music. It seriously is the music that ultimately unites us all. Everyone gets caught up in the unity of it, even the security guards. How do I know this? Because the first year they introduced the D-barriers, they stopped my female friend just as I made it through to the mosh pit, and all my drunk brain could think of to try and talk them into letting her though was to shout out “Let her through, she’s getting squashed and she’s preg-nant.” Yes, that actually worked. Butterfingers once sang “females do your belt up, cause in the mosh pit girls get felt up…” Wise words, but a belt doesn’t really help if all you’re wearing is a bikini. So here’s my advice to make it through Big Day Out 2011 alive: get a good night’s sleep, keep the timetable, wear sunscreen or a hat, drink plenty of water, limit your drinking and always look out for your mates. Because I can pretty much guarantee you that I will forget all of these things and I’ll want as much attention as I can possibly get at 11:27pm from the helpful staff at the St Johns tent. Rock on!
photo: Sarah Robertson. opposite photo: Steve Hogan
The day I wasn’t randomly selected for explosives testing
by Craig Sims
You may think that such day would make me happy, but on the contrary, it broke my routine and left me perplexed and disoriented. When travelling, es-pecially for business, routine becomes an important part of getting in and out of the airport as quickly as humanly possible. George Clooney’s most recent flick ‘Up in the Air’ shows how tactical manoeuvres and pre-planned moves can easily save you five to ten minutes each time. When a new variable (or the absence of a vari-able) is introduced into the environment, this takes some adjusting and existing plans are thrown out the window.As a frequent overseas traveller with work, there are some things you learn: 1. An airport is a magical land where the cost of a coffee or sandwich has higher input costs (and thus retail price) than anywhere else on earth; 2. No matter how well some parents prepare their children for the flight and experience, nothing is as exciting as those portable tape barriers at check-in; 3. Phuket and Bali are not countries. It is surpris-ing how much this shocks some people when told to change their customs declaration form; and 4. Random selection for explosives testing, does not necessarily mean random.Random is defined as “lacking any definite plan or order or purpose; governed by or depending on chance”. Using this logic and my apparent luck at defying the laws of “random”, I should quit my job, sell up and move to Vegas and soon enough I too will be able to own a white tiger.So if the laws of random selection are obviously flawed, why is it that I always get randomly se-lected? Is it my clothing? I would think not as I normally travel in business attire and look moderately re-spectable.My demeanour? I generally sleep fairly well and don’t look like I am coming down from a two day high. Is it because my skin is the same colour as a Chico baby? Perhaps. But in the interests of diplomacy, not wanting to appear as a whinging ‘oppressed’ ethnic minority, and the fact that these checks are such an integral part of my routine, I can’t really say.To other people who are in the same boat and who consistently get selected for ‘random’ explosives testing at the airport: don’t get annoyed. Just get yourself organised, enjoy the ride and in time you too will value this relationship as a part of your overall travel experience.
by Kristian HollinsThe result of the 2010 Federal election left casual political pundits running to catch up. If you’re not really following the whole saga, here are some concepts to help you wrap your head around what’s going on. One thing is for sure, interesting times lie ahead in Australian politics.
First female Prime Minister she may be, but Julia Gillard will have to wait until 2013 for her chance to be the first female Prime Minis-ter elected by popular vote.
Perhaps the most important aspect of the ‘new political paradigm’ everyone keeps talk-ing about is that MPs are nigh on untouchable. With a margin of one or two votes, neither party can afford to piss off any of their mem-bers. A resignation by an MP would force a by-election; the result of which could mean a change of Government. The margin in the House of Reps is so small, even losing the vote of the Speaker could mean the Opposition get more legislation through than the Government.
A hung parliament occurs when no single party wins a majority of seats in the lower house of Parliament, the House of Representatives. In Australia’s most recent election, neither of the two parties won the 76 seats needed for victory, with four independents and one Greens member, making a full House.
In the Senate, the Greens picked up extra seats after dissatisfied voters turned away from the ALP and Coalition, and will be a significant force in politics in the coming years, and no doubt a thorn in the side of the larger parties. Their control of the balance of power will mean a range of issues will now be looked at in greater detail by the Senate, including equal marriage rights, euthanasia, and other social policy issues. Their growth from a leftist, one-issue party into a political force has been a quick one. Their future depends on moving away from extremist roots, and implementing practical, pragmatic policy that Australian’s can get be-hind.
by Kieran SalsoneIf one hundred whispy-haired boffins sat down around a giant table and tried to construct the best circumstances for real, positive, and po-tentially lasting change for Australian politics, they’d just argue for a while then sod off to form some committees. It wouldn’t matter though, because those cir-cumstances now exist. Thank you, Messieurs Oakeshott and Windsor.Julia Gillard is our Prime Minister with only the barest margin and barely any mandate. The Greens have the balance of power in the Sen-ate and have joined the Labor coalition with Adam Bandt in the lower house. Minor parties and independents played such a huge role in this election that we can look forward to some ideology-powered pollies sneaking back into Parliament, instead of the McParty combo that we’ve been ordering since the last World War.
I’m looking forward to the death of the old wisdom that hung parliaments get nothing done. My old colleagues in the Labor party, champions of that kind of thought, forget two very inter-esting facts.Firstly, half of Europe seems to work swim-mingly with finely-tuned coalitions and well-hung parliaments. I admit, the other half of Europe is bankrupt, but Germany is knee-deep in progress and to some degree propping up the less fortunate continental nations. Secondly, the last party to swing ten or twenty percent of the nation’s vote in the first decade of the century was the Labor party. I’m sure Labor supporters were laughed at by members of the long since defunct Free-Trade and Pro-tectionist parties at least as much as Greens supporters are now. I’m also strung out on the media and other headlong ingrates screaming about the nation being held hostage by the whims of a few inde-pendents. Grow up you lot, the two major par-ties didn’t really represent anything anyway, and the rampant donkey-voting seen in August only shows that a disturbingly large proportion of Australians were willing to throw this one into the air anyway. I guarantee that Oakeshott and Windsor care more about the country than anyone that don-key-voted. The situation is looking good for progressive types like me; a couple of white, male, ru-ral types just handed an unmarried, atheist, woman the keys to the Lodge. Family First, a party dedicated to ruining everything for eve-ryone, have had three years of whinging from the sidelines delivered to them. The Greens, a party run by a queer man and supported by all the interesting people, are growing in strength and relevance.The seven deal-breakers that the independents served on Gillard and Abbott are, for the most part, changes that will increase the account-ability and openness of parliamentary proceed-ings. This is a good thing, not a hamstringing. I’ve been overly positive about political chang-es in the past. This could all go terribly wrong. But if you want to live in a world of freedom, rights, and democratic engagement, you gotta live with some risk baby.
by Kristian HollinsYet again, the credibility of professional sport is brought into question by a doper. Yet again, the won-drous deeds of some are stained with the dishonour of a few. And yet again, our loyalty to sport is tested. Cycling is a sport beset by difficulties with cheaters and dopers, but it certainly isn’t the only one. Swim-ming, weightlifting, wrestling, rugby league, cycling, and golf; all have had a doping controversy in the last week alone. And that’s just performance-enhancing drugs, before ‘recreational’ drugs are taken into account.Part of the problem is when sports become more about business than physical human achievement. But who’s to blame? Beyond the player, some blame has to fall to sponsors. For them, the business of sport is about bottom-lines; net profit, investment and re-turn. For the players who dope, success is no longer seen as triumph over others, of fighting the good fight and coming away victor; but as a pay cheque that gets bigger with each addition to the list of wins. At its core, sport is about passion, endurance, won-der, and pain. It’s the ability to drag that last ounce of effort from a tired body in pursuit of excellence or victory. It’s the shot on the buzzer, the push for the wall, and the near-perfect execution.It is a reflection of the human condition, the beauti-ful brutality of the willingness to endure and con-tinue on, despite hardship or adversity. But it can’t be denied that most sports are also about entertainment. To this end, the fans could also be deemed to have played a role in the downfall of sport’s honour. But it has to be asked – did the fans cause the player to dope by the want for faster times, taller mountains or higher scores? Or, did the fans love these things all the more because the doped-up player was able to achieve beyond human capacity? Perhaps part of the solution to doping can be found in a reform of the current deterrents. In many sports, current punishments mean an athlete can use drugs to progress and build a reputation, get caught, and return to a steady pay cheque within a few years. The instigation of a lifetime ban system would un-doubtedly see a dramatic decrease in the numbers of athletes who used these drugs, as the benefit would no longer outweigh the risk. Fear can be a great mo-
tivator, and perhaps the fear of a life of mediocrity would be enough to keep both young and more expe-rienced athletes on the straight and narrow path of clean competition. The young athlete who struggles day-by-day to ago-nisingly finish the day in last place, and does so clean, is more victor and more triumphant than those who win by doping. Because the success of an athlete on drugs is not real, and cannot be considered a success for anyone; the sport, the sponsors, the teams, the fans, and least of all, the player. It’s not a win for any of them. It’s a loss for us all.
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Hard Laughter, by Anne Lamott
The memoir is based on the death of Lamott’s father and takes you on a soul-quenching journey through her family’s strug-gle through one of the most chal-lenging periods in
their lives. Lamott uses humour to capture your soul and inspires you page after page.$26.95 from borders.com.au
These days it’s getting harder and harder to go to the cinemas with-out knowing exactly what you’re in for before you even arrive in the carpark. Eat Pray Love begins where most movies end – Eliza-beth Gilbert (Julia Roberts) has the marriage, house and perfect job, and is surrounded by a lov-ing group of friends. But she’s un-happy, and craves more. The movie follows her search for happiness, spiritual enlightenment and self-forgiveness following a painful di-vorce. Based on the best-selling memoir of the same name, Gilbert’s year-long journey takes her through Italy where she eats, India where she prays and finally to Indonesia
where, surprisingly, she finds love.The scenery is beautiful, as the story rushes you over three conti-nents. Julia Roberts is surprising-ly enjoyable as Gilbert, and Rich-ard Jenkins and Javier Bardem add a nice sprinkling of character .While director Ryan Murphy (of Glee fame) has stuck fairly close-ly to the book, there’s still some-thing a bit ‘Hollywood’ about its move to the big screen. The sto-ryline has no real deviations, but tends to gloss over some of the incidents in the book, removing some of the rawness of Gilbert’s original story,As a standalone movie, it is easy-going and refreshing, and at least
deviates from your stereotypi-cal cinema-going experience. As someone who is notoriously harsh to judge movies based on books I enjoyed, Eat Pray Love pleasantly surprised me. You will leave feeling somewhat inspired, or just with an extreme hankering for pizza.
Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts
After escaping from a high se-curity Melbourne prison, Roberts flees to Bombay, India. In a for-eign world of drugs, slums, Bol-lywood and mafia, he goes from dirt to riches experi-encing all that this colourful and fragrant new country has to offer. Shantaram is an inspirational story loosely based on the life of a real Australian convict.
$24.95 from borders.com.au
entertainment
What inspires you to do what you do? All of the band members are from different backgrounds and have different personalities, but we come together on the same wave-length to write and perform mu-sic that inspires. We are inspired by the likes of Radiohead, Muse, Late of the Pier, Arctic Monkeys, Friendly Fires, Queen, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, and Keith Moon (The Who).Who writes the songs? It’s a collaborative, organic experi-ence that involves the whole band. The music is about life and all its experiences.What’s your take on the record industry today?Record labels still have relevance and are an important part of the industry but with the digital age there are other avenues bands can take to promote their music. A re-cord label is not the be all and end all anymore and many bands, such as us, follow the DIY approach to recording and fund their own pro-jects or seek funding through gov-ernment support or philanthropy. What are the biggest obstacles you face as a band?The hardest challenge is the lack of time to write and practice mu-sic. We all work full-time to sup-port ourselves while also trying to juggle commitments to the band, relationships, family and friends.
Pursuing a career within the music industry requires dedication, sac-rifice and a punt-load of financial commitment.Why should we be at your next show?We release our new single ‘Holiday’ on October 8 at The Club House in Fortitude Valley, Brisbane. The gig is a must - free copies of the new track, prizes and a special pre-gig VIP event - you’ll dance til you’re naked.
Check out the boys or listen to their new single at:www.myspace.com/fractionsband
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by Kristian HollinsAs I stood on Shanghai’s Bund re-cently amongst hordes of tour-ists, almost all of them domestic travellers from China’s innumer-able smaller cities, a gentleman ap-proached me.It is a picturesque location, and indeed I had been happy-snapping away at the wonderful city-view. The man is older, but not elderly, his wife and son by his side. He asks something in Mandarin, in-dicating his camera and then his family. I nod and smile, assuming he wants me to take a photo of his family, rather than the incomplete self-portraits that most of us are forced to do. As I reached for the camera, the man abruptly turns away. The son, no more than seven- or eight- years old, stands beside me, and with one hand reaching for my shoulder, and the other forming a peace sign, presents a big smile while his fa-ther clicks away a photo.
It was a situation that would oc-cur another 35 to 40 times before I left China three and a half weeks later. A voice would yell “Hello!” at me in heavily accented English, fol-lowed by the production of a cam-era and some standard gesticulat-ing. Pose, smile, snap, “Xie xie”, and our ways would part. At first I had no idea what was happening. Did I resemble someone famous? Was I being mistaken for a Western celebrity on holiday? Shouldn’t the backpack have denot-ed my status as less-than-wealthy?“You’re white,” a Chinese-American friend, currently living in Shanghai, explained to me. “To them, you’re a novelty.”Curious, I broached the subject with an English-speaking tour guide. “You’re tall, white, with curly brown hair and blue eyes,” he noted, in perfectly accented English. “For some of the provincial people with whom you will cross paths, you’re likely the first real-life white per-
Getting the cheapest fareby Elizabeth Sims
One of the most-asked travel questions is ‘how do I get the cheapest possible fare?’ The simple answer is research. Look-ing for the best fare is going to involve legwork on your part but it is well worth it in the end. The Internet is the best place to start. There are plenty of websites that will compare and contrast fares and give you the cheapest options for your des-tination, such as Zuji and We-bjet. But beware of booking on these websites, as many have hidden fees or high credit card surcharges. Once you have your
son they have ever seen.”After a while I began to get a kick out of the whole thing. Two trav-ellers, from the most diverse and differing of backgrounds, captured in a single moment in time, sharing in the wonder of China.Perhaps my favourite was in the smaller city of Dandong, in China’s North-East. As I walked through a somewhat dilapidated park, watch-ing old couples, young families and teenagers at play, I heard the now familiar, “Hello!”. I turned, a well-practiced smile on my face, only to be confronted by a professional photographer, videographer and an entire wedding party. Even now it makes me smile to think that somewhere in China’s Liaoning Province, a picture of me, sweating from the summer heat and wedged between the happy couple, sits in a place of honour above the mantelpiece, or in an oft-revisited wedding album.
travel
prices, the next step is to pay a visit to your friendly travel agent and ask them to beat the price. When doing this, don’t beat around the bush as travel agents hate people who are not only cutting into their com-missions, but also stuff them around, and some will even be happy to let you walk back out the door. Another great tip is if you go see a travel agent in the last week of the month and are prepared to pay in full, you may find that they are will-ing to offer further discounts as they will want your sale to count towards their end-of-month figures.
by Sarah RobertsonSpring is here! The weather is getting warmer, smiles big-ger and the next six months of drinks on verandas and fresh BBQ’s are dawning. Socialising every weekend can leave your wallet feeling like it’s been on the lemon detox, but staying in-doors while everyone you know is at a pool party does wonders for helping you feel down. So,
why not host a not-so-expen-sive dinner party to show off those fabulous cooking skills you acquired over winter?For less than $70 (that’s $17.50 per person) you could be feeding yourself and three of your best mates a delicious four-course meal designed to tantalise your taste buds and go easy on your bank balance.
The Shopping List• 250g frozen chopped spin-ach• 250g cream cheese• 1 lemon• 400g can artichoke hearts• 100g of walnuts• 48 mini/medium toast rounds• 1.2kg of broccoli• 500g button mushrooms• 2 garlic cloves• 3 cups chicken stock• 600ml thickened cream• 2 shallots• 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts• 1 packet sliced almonds• 1 orange with nice skin• 8 large eggs• 1 small carton of milk• Unflavoured gelatine• 150g good white chocolate• Orange marmalade• 4 cups strawberriesFrom your cupboard• 1/8 cup plus 2 tbsp Frangelico (or any liqueur)• Brown sugar• Cornflour• Sugar• Nutmeg• Salt & pepper
What you need:• 1.2 kg broccoli• 500g button mushrooms, roughly chopped• 2 cloves garlic, chopped• 3 cups chicken stock• 5/8 cup of cream• 2 shallots, chopped• 1 tbsp butter• Salt & pepperWhat to do:1. Cut off broccoli heads & discard stems. Wash and drain.2. Break the florets up into small pieces and cook in a large quantity of boiling, salted water for 5 minutes or until well cooked.3. Drain and rinse under cold water (this keeps the colour vibrant in the broccoli).4. Bring chicken stock to the boil and remove from the heat.5. Place drained broccoli into the stock.6. Puree mixture in a blender or a food processor (do this in stages if you use a blender and only with small quanti-ties).7. Pour the puree back into the saucepan and stir through cream, salt and pepper.8. Reheat the soup and leave on low heat.9. Heat a frying pan until quite hot and add the mush-rooms and garlic.10. Once the mushrooms have reabsorbed the moisture they first expel, place butter and shallots into the pan.11. Once butter has melted and shallots softened (approx 2 mins) remove mushrooms and drain on paper towel.
sips & nibbles
What you need:• 250g frozen chopped spinach, thawed & drained• 250g cream cheese• 2.5 tbsp of butter• 400g can artichoke hearts, drained & chopped• 2 tbsp lemon juice• 100g chopped walnuts• ½ tsp of nutmeg• 1 packet mini/medium toast roundsWhat to do:1. Place butter & cream cheese into a double boiler and melt together (or if you prefer, place in a microwave safe dish & stir every 30 seconds).2. Add spinach, artichoke, lem-on juice, nutmeg and walnuts, and mix through.3. Place mixture in a sealed container in refrigerator until ready to use.4. Dollop topping onto each toast round & heat under grill until warmed through.5. If you wish, dress each can-apé with something bright or interesting (i.e. capsicum, car-rot, olives, more almonds) and serve.Note: Topping can be placed onto toast 2 hrs before serving (as long as mixture is cold).
What you need:• 2 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts• 150g sliced almonds• 1 egg (whisked)• 2 tbsp of plain flour• ½ tsp salt• ½ tsp black pepper• 1 tbsp brown sugar• 2 tsp corn flour• The juice of one orange (about ½ cup)• 1 tsp orange rind• 2 tbsp butter plus 2tbsp butter• 3 potatoes• 1 sweet potato• ¼ cup creamWhat to do:1. Peel and chop potato and sweet potato and place in large saucepan of salted water. Cook on medium/high heat.2. Combine brown sugar and corn flour in a dry saucepan. Add juice, rind and butter.3. Cook on medium heat, until combined and thickened. Set aside.4. Place each chicken breast between two piec-es of glad wrap and pound with a meat mallet until thin.5. Cut each breast in half so you have four pieces.6. Mix the flour, salt and pepper in a bowl and then coat the chicken.7. Dip one side of each chicken breast into the egg mixture & then press sliced almonds down firmly.8. Melt 2 tbsp butter in a large frying pan; add chicken, almond side down.9. Cook chicken until golden (before almonds start to blacken – about 4 mins) on medium heat.10. Lower heat and flip chicken over for 10 mins until cooked through.11. Poke vegetables with a fork to make sure they are soft and then drain the water.12. Add butter and cream to potatoes and mash (or whip in food processor).13. Once mash is free of lumps, season with salt and pepper and then heap into the centre of serving plate.14. Place chicken breast neatly atop mash and then drizzle with orange sauce.15. Find something green to garnish your meal with and serve.
What you need:• ½ cup plus 2 tbsp of milk• 1 tsp unflavoured gelatine• 7 large egg yolks• 1/3 cup of sugar• 150g of white chocolate, chopped• 1/8 cup plus 2 tbsp Frangelico (or any liqueur)• 1 2/3 cup thickened cream• 2 tbsp of pineapple and mango jam• 2 punnets of strawberries, roughly chopped• 5 drops red food colouringWhat to do:1. Pour 2 tbsp of milk into a cup & sprinkle gela-tine over the top. Leave for 5 mins.2. Whisk egg yolks and sugar in a medium metal bowl. 3. Place over a smaller saucepan of simmering wa-ter and whisk for just under three minutes (do not overdo this, you will scramble the eggs and need to start again).4. Remove from heat and add the milk & gelatine mixture. Whisk to dissolve & then place to the side.5. Bring the remaining milk to the boil in a sauce-pan and then pour over white chocolate (already placed in metal bowl) until melted and smooth.6. Fold egg mixture into chocolate mixture and allow to cool to room temperature.7. Whisk in 1/8 cup of Frangelico.8. Whip thickened cream to soft peaks and then fold into Frangelico mixture.9. Divide mousse among four martini glasses, cov-er with cling wrap and allow to chill overnight.10. Whisk 2tbsp of Frangelico with jam in a large bowl. Add strawberries and toss gently to coat. 11. Spoon strawberry mixture onto top of each mousse and serve.
PHOTOGRAPHY Sarah Robertson
STYLIST Lauren Sewell
OPPOSITE Jacklien wearsJacqueline Buck Couture.
HAIR & MAKEUP Hayley Walke
October 201032
www.biscuitmagazine.com.au 33
OPPOSITE: Shannon wears Jacqueline Buck Couture. Beau wears Al-ways Habit. Accessories stylist’s own.
RIGHT: Shannon & Jack-lien wear Jacqueline Buck Couture. Accesso-ries stylist’s own. Jack-lein wears fascinator by Esther Gallois.
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OPPOSITE: Beau wearsAlways Habit.
October 201034
By Lauren Sewell
Jackie Buck is a creative soul who is truly passionate about fashion and design. She established her own label ‘Jacqueline Buck Cou-ture’ in 2006 and since then has been working meticulously with each client to create their dream dress. Earlier this year she announced plans for a second ready-to-wear label - ‘Jacqueline Buck’. Launched at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Fes-tival in August, the range is built on perfect Spring frocks and Sum-mer playsuits...How have things changed for you since MBFF?I have had fantastic feedback from MBFF, it was a wonderful event to be involved with. My client base is growing rapidly as a result, and the media coverage it has gener-ated has been invaluable. How would you describe the dif-ference between your two collec-tions?Jacqueline Buck Couture is strict-ly one-off pieces which have been designed and hand crafted using very traditional techniques. Only the highest quality materials are used to create my couture gowns, so the price is much higher. The ready-to-wear collection is also high quality, however I have been mindful to keep the styles and
techniques used more simple, ena-bling the manufacturing time to be kept down. I wanted to provide a range of smart casual and cocktail dresses which ladies would really enjoy wearing more often in com-parison to a couture gown which may only be worn a few times.Where do you get your inspira-tion? Inspiration is everywhere; most of my ideas flow freely after viewing beautiful textiles. I tend to design for a fabric rather than coming up with an idea and trying to find the perfect fabric after the fact. How do you see your collection evolving in the future?In the future I hope to be print-ing my own textiles to achieve a totally unique look. I also hope to eventually produce a small range of accessories. You learn from ex-perience, and I’m eager to continue learning so I hope as time goes on the process will become an easier one, and certain things which seem out of reach now will be easily ac-cessible.
Jacqueline Buck Couture is current-ly available through Jackie’s show-room in Brisbane, and will soon be available in select boutiques.
www.jacquelinebuck.com.au
Handmade Jewellery & Accessories
collections including new, recycled & vintage fabrics
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handmade in Australia
unique handmade vintage inspired
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See Miss Dish
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missdish.com
Stop with the eye rolling and the sighs. You knew this page was coming and you had already made your mind up about it. I don’t blame you really. How many beauty articles are there, each telling you something different about what to do, listing end-less products, promoting thou-sands of opinions and publishing countless reviews promising the best results and ensuring that it will make your life that much better?The beauty industry has gener-ated its own general prospective that it’s an expensive and time wasting industry; because we have all used the products that pretend to be your best friend and have all been disappointed when it never gave us its picture perfect promise. The truth is when you scratch away the over-the-top promo-tions and the high dollar cosmet-ics, you see the basic procedures and fundamentals of good health and self presentation. Why is it that, in a world where self pro-motion is the key to success, we have started to forget the im-portance of good health, class and sophistication. I’m not here to tell you what to do, and I’m definitely not here to only show you the most ex-pensive products, but I will show you the path to putting your best self out there. Here’s to looking great and feel-ing better!Kelly Forbes
In Actually Works!And that’s why you see it everywhere. Pawpaw oint-ment is an 80 year-old multi-tasking genius and is not only great for healing burns, cuts and insect bites, but is great to apply to cracked lips and dry skin. The 200g or 75g tub is great for home, while the 25g tube is perfect for your handbag! Fans include Cate Blan-chett and Mischa Barton, plus it is also used by beauty experts as a facial treatment! Try Lucas Pawpaw Ointment ($5.00 for 25g)
Nailed itThe team at ‘Revitanail’ have done it again. Their most pop-ular product, Revitanail Nail Strengthener, has been proven a hit as a superior nail treatment that actually works leaving you with stronger, longer and healthier looking nails. They’ve now released the same product but in a range of Winter and Summer colours, not only allow-ing you to have amazing looking nails but keep the strengthen-ing regime going. Try Revitanail Nail Lacquer in Miss Scarlet ($12.50)
“My ultimate beauty tip for the everyday woman is to attempt to do your eyes first. Some people love doing their foundation first and that’s fine, but if you’re struggling with smudging, doing your eye makeup first can really save you a lot of time and trouble. You can let your moisturisers sink in while you’re doing it and afterward you can clean up any fallout before applying your primer and foundation to get the most flawless finish.”
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beauty2. Sleeping BeautyThey don’t call it beauty sleep for no reason! While you can rest for those eight hours, your skin continues to work. While sleeping, your skin doesn’t have to fight pollutants like it does dur-ing the day, so it’s a perfect time for it to recu-perate and repair itself. Applying a night cream deeply penetrates the skin while firming, toning and renewing. It also prevents wrinkles and fine lines.Try Palmers Cocoa Butter Face Night Renewal Cream ($12.50) which is rich, creamy and shows results after the first night.
Now that the beautiful season of Spring is upon us, most of us believe the hard work of skin care is over, but changes between seasons can cause the most damage to our skin. Its times like these it’s essential to stick to the fundamentals of skin care. It’s all been taught before; ‘Use moisturiser to retain your skins moister’. The fact is we all know what it does, but the difference is the type we use and how fre-quently we use it.
3. For the Blokes Just before you thought you could get away with it gentlemen, moisturising definitely applies to you too! The process of shaving can be very distressing towards your skin especially if you have dry, sensitive or acne prone skin. Applying a moisturiser daily, especially after you shave, will ensure your skin is healthy, will prevent shaving rash and actually makes your skin feel a lot bet-ter. Plus, every girl loves a man who takes care of himself!Try The Body Shop’s For Men Maca Root Razor Relief ($20.95) which is suitable for all skin types, firms and soothes the skin and has a very ‘manly’ smell!
1. Wake Me Up Before You Go Day creams are an essential part of the morn-ing as they hydrate the skin and protect against damage. The good news is that most day mois-turisers now include SPF, so you have no excuse not to use it. For women it’s a good idea to get a light moisturiser that soaks in quickly to allow makeup to glide over it straight after applica-tion. Try QV Face Moisturising Day Cream SPF30+ ($16.50) which is not only extremely hydrating but is non-greasy, pH-balanced and free from fragrance and colour. Everybody wins!
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The very thought of fascinators generally ter-rifies me. Most look like a bird of paradise has made a nest on the top of your head. To be fair I have never had a very good look at one, running in the opposite direction. However, after having a crack at making one that actually wasn’t hide-ous I wish they were appropriate to wear 24/7.
1 Position the veil fab-ric over the top of the
fascinator base, allowing for 4cm over the bank, and the remainder to fall over the front. Keep the direc-tion of the comb in mind to determine the front of the fascinator. Sew the veil into place.
2 Now it is a matter of piling everything
neatly on top of each other. Arrange the lace over the veil fabric as close to the edge of the base as possible. Allow enough lace to cover the base and still be able to secure it, and then sew in place.
3 It seems a bit mor-bid but snip a few
of the heads off a bunch of fake flowers and ar-range them in the cen-tre. In an attempt to hide the stiches, sew a few of the flower petals to the base, as close to the centre of the flower as possible.
What you’ll needMost basic materials for fascinators can be picked up at and good craft store (i.e. Spotlight or Lincraft.)• Round fascinator base, preferably with a comb attached (however a comb can be sewn on)• 50 cm square veil fabric • 50 cm ‘vintage’ lace, ap-prox. 5 cm wide• Fabric fake flowers• Needle and thread, col-our depending on your colour scheme (white or black usually works best.)
4 Place the fascina-tor on your head and
tug and scrunch the veil to frame your face in a birdcage fashion and pin in place. Remove it from your head before you at-tempt to sew it down. Trust me.
5 Trim the edge of the veil to perfect-
ly round the contour of your face.
6 Now: wear it abso-lutely everywhere to
bring them back in fash-ion so I can wear mine too.
Other things you could add to your own fasci-nator are jewels, funky fabric, doilies, little ornaments, chains or even feathers if you really insist.
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A : Lension of the gums & teeth,(grinding, stress)B : Over acidity in the StomachC : Gastritis, Inflamed Stomach LiningD & E : Imbalance of the StomachF : Disorders of the intestinesG : Hormone imbalanceH : Kidney imbalanceI : Urinary tract imbalanceJ : Neuralgia, nerve damage or stimulationK : Gallbladder imbalanceL : Spinal nerve damage or stimulation
As told to Jil HoganA headache is one of the most common causes of pain in the body, and can make even the simplest of tasks unbearable.
While many people accept their arrival as part of life and head straight to the Nuro-fen container, getting rid of them could be as simple as having a glass of water. Kyla Sorenne, from The Awakened Heart (www.theawakenedheart.com) explains the caus-es, and simple remedies to keep you healthy and headache-free.
A headaches’ frequency, intensity and its loca-tion can all be warning signs. By listening to the body, we can begin to understand why a headache has been produced, and take the most effective remedy to cure it. In looking at the Ayurvedic diagram (below) of the location of headaches and the associated physical issues, we can see that a headache is usually an indication that digestion or the elimi-nation processes of the body have been imbal-anced. Other causes can include the absorption of medicines, caffeine, alcohol and high sugar content can stimulate headaches. A headache may be a sign of a hormonal imbal-ance, emotional or mental stress, reducedoxygen intake, or even a postural issue where the nerves are damaged or overstimulated.Three of the most common headaches are:• Tension headaches - caused by emotional or mental stress; • Migraine headaches - caused by expansion or contraction of blood vessels; and • Sinus headaches - from sinus infection Quite often, headaches can be a combination of issues.
health & wellbeing
Hydration: Hydration is a major cause of head-aches, and making a herbal tea can help remedy dehydration. Willow Bark in particular is recom-mended as it contains salicin which is a natural form of the active ingredient in Aspirin. Other-wise, ginger or chamomile tea is best.
Massage: Peppermint Oil and Tiger Balm, can be the most effective aromatherapy treatments. Put a few drops of peppermint oil into a carrier oil, and rub into your temples, base of neck, base of skull and shoulders. You can use Tiger Balm in the same way, although it has a strong smell and may be too stimulating for some people.
Nutrition: If you know you have been indul-gent with your eating habits, eating too many sugars, fats and carbohydrates help heal your stomach, intestines and colon by preparing light fibrous food.
Breakfast: Fruit Fruit which is particularly fi-brous and filled with water to help hydrate the body is wa-termelon, rockmelon, oranges, mandarin, pears, strawberries, blueberries and apples.
Lunch: Beetroot & Carrot SaladThis recipe is easy, and brings together a great combination of flavours. Grate 2 large beet-roots and 3 large carrots. Add 100g pine nuts, 100g currants, raisins or dried cranberries, 2 tbsp low fat Italian dressing and 2 tsp of fresh or stored basil. Combine ingredients and enjoy!
Dinner - Dahl Delight A light, tasty dinner with heaps of protein and fibre.Heat 2 tbsp of oil on a medium heat. Add 2 tsp of cumin seeds, 2 tsp tumeric, 2 tsp of cori-ander and 2 tsp of curry pow-der. Fry off spice for 1 -2 min. Add 1 tsp garlic, 2 tsp ginger, and 1 finely sliced brown onion. Cook for 1 -2 min on medium heat. Add 1 cup of red lentils (unsoaked), 4 tbsp of tomato paste, 1 cup vegetable stock & 1 cup water. Stir occasion-ally, and add water or vegeta-ble stock as needed. Serve with rice or cous cous.
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My name and address were scribbled on the front of the envelope. Helena’s untidy handwriting was easily recognisable. I took the envelope inside and meticulously separated the seal. Inside was an in-vitation to her birthday party. It was hand written and looked inexpensive but simplicity was one of her charms. There was a picture of Helena printed at the bottom of the page. Her hair was the same; short, spiky and bleached. In the early nineties she started wearing her hair that way and never changed it again. Her face was much redder than I remembered and her eyebrows had grown wild and grey. The lipstick she was wearing was too dark for her complexion. It made her teeth look yellow. She was still attractive though. Her eyes were full of life and I could see years of laughter marked over her face.
I read down the page, hearing her voice in the words.
To my dearest friend,
Michael Healy
I would be honoured if you would join me in cel-ebrating my 50th birthday on 12th March at 7pm, 58 Kent Avenue, Bellvale. We want your presence, not your presents. Please RSVP by 22nd February.
Love Helena
I folded the page in half, so that only her picture could be seen, and stuck it on the fridge. I hated parties. I hated the mindless questions that a par-ty was built upon. I had never mastered the art of chit chat. I would always respond to interroga-tions in the same manner.
“Well you know, the usual.”
I had asked Helena to marry me repeatedly through our late twenties and early thirties but she never accepted. She wasn’t interested in cock. She was engaged to a man once, before she came out. She wore the ring and they moved in together. They acted cosy and filled their unit with matching dining sets and throw pillows. She still wears the ring but she never did get married and I don’t think they stayed in touch.
“Why did you say yes to him but you won’t say yes to me?” I asked her.
“I didn’t say yes to him because I wanted to get married. I thought I had to. What was I supposed to do, Michael?” she asked me. “My parents have five children and four out of five aren’t like this.
My brothers and sisters and friends will all have children and make lives for themselves and what will I do? I’ll just have to be this big lesbian!”
“Then I don’t understand why you won’t marry me. I know you will never love me like that but we are great together. Don’t you want to have a family? You can have that with me.”
No matter how hard I tried, I could never per-suade her. Even though we were best friends, we weren’t in love and she said she needed more than that. She’d been with many men before. Not me though, never me.
I used to have dreams about us living together as husband and wife. Helena would return home from her nine to five and loosen the belt on her maroon pant suit. She would slip off her shoes and sit in her chair. On Friday evenings she would go out or entertain guests in the spare room while I watched Disney with our beautiful son or daugh-ter. I would make us scrambled eggs and coffee on Sunday mornings and we’d listen to the horse races while the baby slept. I could see our room with twin beds and lace curtains fluttering above and our slippers standing at the foot.
I knew she wanted to have a baby, but she never would. She wouldn’t burden a child with that con-fusion and she wouldn’t live a secret life.
“Can you imagine us taking it to its first day of school!” said Helena. “It would look up at us and say ok ‘Bye bye Mummy, Daddy and other Mum-my.’”
Whenever she laughed really hard, she sounded like a pig with its foot in a trap, somewhere be-tween being injured and exhausted from trying to escape. Her laugh usually made me laugh but I hadn’t seen the humour and my mouth remained tight.
The phone rang only once. I tried never to let
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it ring more than once. I had bought a cordless phone and always kept it beside me so that I would never have to hear the second ring. Also, to avoid keeping people waiting. It is rude to keep people waiting. I held the phone up to my ear and listened to Nim’s high pitched whine echo through the phone.
“Where is my money, Michael?”
I hadn’t forgotten about Nim’s money but some-times I did have to keep her waiting in order for her to call me. She used caller ID so she never an-swered when I tried calling her. Of course it wasn’t her that I wanted to speak with. Since the divorce, Nim had taken full custody of our son, Keagan, my whole world. Nim was my only channel to him but she wouldn’t let me see him anymore. I knew that she took him to a play group every Sunday afternoon at the park near her house. Sometimes I would drive the forty minutes out there and watch him run around, from hundreds of metres away. Other times I was only brave enough to drive past once before turning back. She spoke again.
“Where is my child support, Mi-chael?”
“I’ll be paying it this week.” I told her.
“This is pathetic, Michael. Pay your fucking share. I don’t want to have to call you every month.”
I had flown Nim over to Austral-ia from Thailand and married her at the court house. People often said that she was beautiful but I never saw it. I thought of our marriage as a business transaction and she was pregnant within 2 months. During the pregnancy she grew to be much larger than I expected and her chin seemed to grow at a faster rate than her stomach. After we had Keagan she was never able to drop the weight and still carried around her prenatal chin.
“I will pay it this week.” I repeated. “Maybe I could drop by to see Keagan?” I suggested.
A silence followed.
“Stay away from us you sicko.”
The line dropped.
“Tell Keagan Daddy loves him very much,” I said to no one.
The doorbell rang and I heard Simon’s voice call out to me. I rushed to the door. It is rude to keep people waiting.
“Sorry, Honey, I was stuck in traffic.”
Simon was holding a paper bag in his hand. His light brown hair was wavy but neat. He wore styl-ish clothes and always smelt amazing. The aroma of fried rice and Mongolian lamb from my favour-ite Chinese restaurant wound itself around me. I was trying so hard to hold back my tears that I couldn’t respond to him. But it was no use. My face became hot and my tears made the skin un-der my eyes itch. Simon didn’t ask me why I was upset, he just waited until I was ready to talk. He put his arms around me and pressed his face on mine, not bothered by the tears on my cheeks.
His hand stroked my forehead and my body slowly relaxed against his. We both sat down on the couch and Simon’s hand slid into mine. He leaned towards me and I kissed his neck and rubbed my cheek against the grain of his stubble. I licked at the taste of aftershave on my lips. I didn’t understand why he wanted to be
here with me.
“I love you Michael,” he told me.
I had always thought of the phrase as a question rather than a state-
ment. I love you just means do you love me? It is an easier way to sound
less pathetic and needy. I had asked peo-ple the question before and been crushed.
I had been asked the question before and not known how to answer. His breath was in my ear and on my cheek. “I love you Michael.” I searched his tone for the question but it seemed clear. I’d always liked this quality about Simon. He wasn’t one for asking too many questions.
I thought about my response to Helena’s party and I knew it would start with I regretfully de-cline, but I knew she would understand.
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