building self-esteem - redmond high...

Building Self-Esteem

Objectives

• Define self-esteem.

• Describe how self-esteem develops.

• Explain how media messages can affect one’s self-esteem.

• Assess your own self-esteem.

• Name the best way to raise self-esteem.

• Name at least three other ways of raising your self-esteem.

• Make a plan to improve your own self-esteem.

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem: pride in and acceptance of yourself; sense of personal worth.

Self-esteem Influences:

- relationships w/family, friends, teachers, bosses.

- School

- Work

- Self

Development

• Development begins at birth.

• Reflection of we are treated by important people (parents, guardians, people seen frequently…)

• You see yourself as what you think they think of you.

Development

Sometimes people…

don’t say what they mean.

unaware of interpretation what is said.

are influenced by outside source.

NOTE: most parents would not intentionally hurt

your self-esteem.

Development

There are more serious situations…

– Neglect/abuse verbally.

– Neglect/abuse isolation.

– Neglect/abuse physically.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Neglect/Abuse

Either you or someone you know being abused?

• Talk to a teacher, counselor, principle, coach, pastor, another trusted adult, etc.

Department of Human Service (DHS)

Development

• Within the first years of life, you have decided on your self-esteem.

• May not be a conscience decision, but it is a decision.

• Self-fulfilling Prophecy

• Decision Thoughts/beliefs Reality

RESPOND

Once you have developed your self-esteem,

can that self-esteem ever change?

Answer

Decision Thoughts/beliefs Reality

It all starts with a decision.

Think Back:

What is your greatest asset?

Answer

THE POWER OF CHOICE:

In any situation you always have a choice. With each decision you make, you must be willing to accept the consequences, both good and bad. If you don’t want to accept the consequences, make a different choice.

It is called “SELF-esteem” for a reason!

Continued Development

Body Image: a persons perception of his or her

appearance, level of fitness, and health.

Difficult for Teens:

1. Constant body changes

2. Media Portrayals

3. Standards of Beauty Change Frequently

The Mullet

• Popular in the 1960’s

• Very popular in the 1980’s – early 1990’s.

• Again popular in the early 2000’s (retro look)

Big Hair Era

Who is this?

Standards of Beauty Change Frequently

Jennifer Garner

Who is this?


Eminem

Who is this?


Mariah Carey



1960’s



1970’s



1980’s



1990’s



2000’s

Vanessa Hudgens

Jenifer Aniston

1990’s 2000’s

Demi Moore

Brad Pitt Click Here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2uLsrCIO2c

Media Portrayals

HANDOUT:

Body Dysmorphic Disorder Article

CNN - 2/2/2010

Read Individually – 5 Mins

Small Groups – 5 Mins

Group Discussion – 5 Mins

Media Portrayals

• Most of what you see in the media is fake.

• Surgeries

• Photoshop

• Airbrush

• Etc.

Media Portrayals

What is wrong

with her left hip?

Media Portrayals

Is it really even her?

Media Portrayals

- Heidi Montag: MTV Reality Series -The Hills

- People Magazine (2010): “Addicted to Plastic Surgery”

2007

2008

http://www.people.com/people/heidi_montag/photos/0,,,00.html

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/Heidi_Montag.jpg

Media Portrayals

Unattainable Beauty

News Week – Click Here

http://www.newsweek.com/id/231629

Media Portrayals

Beauty Transformation

Click Here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl6rzOcuooI

Building Your Self-Esteem

Because Self-Esteem is a self reflection of

our decision (choice), we can improve

our self-esteem.

Accept Yourself

• Accepting yourself = best way to raise self-esteem.

• How? – Assess your strengths & weaknesses

• Don’t be modest. No one needs to know!

• Don’t compare strengths/weaknesses to others.

Accept Yourself

Understand:

– Everyone has different strengths/weaknesses

– You a going to be great in some areas

– You are going to be not-so-great in other areas

– NO ONE HAS IT ALL!

Use what you have, not worry about what you don’t.

Accept Yourself

• Don’t spend energy on improving things you can’t control.

• Work on developing new strengths/skills.

• The sooner you start accepting yourself, the sooner others will accept you (not a fake you).

Use Positive Self-Talk

• We are constantly talking to ourselves.

• Usually not verbally, but internally:

“I am an idiot.” “Why did I do that?”

“My hair is so frizzy” “I suck at shooting”

“I am so weak” “I am so fat”

“I can’t talk to that girl” “I am so stupid”

“I am going to fail anyway” “Why try?”

“My clothes suck” “I don’t have a good smile”

“I am so clumsy” “I have bad skin”

Use Positive Self-Talk

Positive Self-Talk: talking to yourself in a

positive way about your characteristics and

abilities.

Be Good at Something

• Everyone has something that they are good at.

• Playing guitar, singing, drawing, writing,

football, volleyball, basketball, making people

laugh, being a good friend, listener, reading,

leadership, etc…

• Make the most of it!

Be Good at Something

• If you do the things that you are good at,

you will build your confidence, thus your

self-esteem.

• If you know you are good at one thing, you

won’t be afraid or upset to try new things.

Use “I” Statements

It is easier to speak in “generalizations,” but

it does not allow you to…

• clearly state how you feel.

• take responsibility for your feelings.

• to communicate to others.

• improve your self-esteem (false understanding).

Develop a Support Group

Support Group: people in your life whom you

trust and with whom you are able to talk openly.

Self Disclosure: telling another person meaningful

information about yourself.


Benefits of Support Group:

1. Time to Reflect On Yourself

2. Accurate Perceptions of What Others Think of You

3. Learn From Others

4. Share Same Thoughts/Fears/Triumphs

5. Better Appreciate Similarities/Differences

6. Greater Friendships

7. Increased Self-Esteem

IMPORTANT: 1st Build a relationship on trust and mutual respect before disclosing personal details of your life. Be careful of who you open up to.


A support group can be…

1. A formal meeting of people who come

together with the purpose of support.

2. Informal gathering of people who share

experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc (most of

you will experience this).


EXERCISE:

Write down 5 people who you think could

be included into your support group. Why?

RESPOND

What do you think the relationship is

between self-confidence and peer

pressure?

Resist Peer Pressure

Low Self-Esteem Risk of Peer Pressure

- Lack of Confidence in Self

- Easily Influenced By Others

- Searching For Acceptance

Resist Peer Pressure

• Learning to Trust/Make Decisions for yourself Builds Confidence!

• When you act for yourself, you are the only one responsible for your decisions.

• Ownership can either hurt or improve your self-esteem (depending on what you do).

NOTE: You should still listen for advice, ideas, suggestions of trusted people, but still make your own choices!

Act With Integrity

• Once you appreciate yourself, you can

better appreciate the worth of other people.

• People w/high self-esteem look out for the

interest of other people.

• Self-esteem allows you to treat others

w/respect & compassion.

Act With Integrity

INTEGRITY: What you do, how you think,

or how you act when no one is watching

(or when you think no one is watching).

Are you the same person regardless of the

situation?

Act With Integrity

• People w/a low self-esteem are easily manipulated.

• People w/a high self-esteem would not manipulate.

ADDED BONUS: When people with high self-esteem encourage/build-up others, self-esteem is raised even further.

15 Tips to Boost Self-Esteem

# 1: Make a list of your good qualities and keep it with you at all times. Place extra copies on your mirror, in your locker, or other places you will see it. Read over the list on a regular basis and at any time when you experience negative thoughts.


# 2: Avoid wasting time thinking about your

negatives.


# 3: Seek new challenges in your life. Don’t

be afraid to try new things. Mastering a

new task or ability can build self-esteem.


# 4: Avoid putting yourself down to others or

to yourself. Accept compliments with a

“thank you” and a smile.


# 5: Find something that you do very well

and work to improve that skill.


# 6: Reward yourself when you accomplish a

task or finish a project.


# 7: Accept the fact that neither you nor

anyone else is perfect. Avoid dwelling on

mistakes; laugh them off and continue with

the positive.


# 8: Take a moment to look at yourself in the

mirror each day an give yourself a verbal

compliment.


# 9: Keep yourself well groomed, maintain a

positive attitude, and develop a sense of

humor to handle difficult situations.


# 10: Join at least one activity that involves

other people. Volunteer for service with an

organization or group in your school or

community.


# 11: Associate with other positive thinkers

in your school and community. Create your

own support group of friends who are a

positive influence on you and your self-

esteem.


# 12: Don’t fight a fact; deal with it. Try to

avoid thinking that people and things in

your life that are out of your control should

be different. They aren’t and that is the

reality.


# 13: Accept that life does not have to be

perfect for you to be happy. Happiness is a

way of thinking; a content feeling, not

constant euphoria.


# 14: Remember that sometimes bad things happen that are not within your control. Expect this and try not to let it set you back too much. Do the best you can to change what you can, and avoid dwelling on what you cannot change.


# 15: Remind yourself that each of us is

important and valuable. Try to be the best

“you” you can be. Remember, you’re the

best one for the job.

building self-esteem - redmond high...

Documents