cbf fellows session 2_ february_2013 copy
DESCRIPTION
TRANSCRIPT
CBF Fellows
Session 2 February 27- March 1, 2013
Desired Outcomes � Receive LPI 360 feedback about leadership
practices
� Understanding emotional intelligence and its impact on leadership
� Understand conflict management styles and healthy responses to conflict
� Learn how to have difficult conversations
� Explore congregational support systems
Reconnecting/Checking in
� Welcome and prayer
� Logistics and reminders
� Everyone shares one life change since we last met (personal or professional)
Talking Chair Reporting � At your table group, share your progress in
completing your talking chair assignment, � Refer to your Professional Plan Template from
Session One
Architecture of Leadership
!
Leadership Practices Inventory
Desired Outcomes } Describe
the 5 Practices
} Relate the Practices to your leadership
} Identify strengths & challenges
} Identify areas to develop & improve
An Approach to Leadership � Leadership is a relationship
� Leadership is everyone’s work
� Leadership development is self-development
The Five
Practices
Model the Way
Inspire a Shared Vision
Challenge the Process
Enable Others to Act
Encourage the Heart
Using LPI Behaviors Makes Leaders Better
� Meeting job-related demands
� Representing units to management
� Creating higher performing teams
� Fostering loyalty and commitment
� Increasing motivation and willingness to work
� Reducing absenteeism, turnover and dropouts
� Possessing higher degrees of credibility
How to Use the Feedback � Look for messages, not measures
� Accept feedback as a gift
� Take the process seriously
� Trust the feedback you receive
� Value the differences
� Use your coach
� Make a plan to improve
� Continue to seek feedback
Interpreting Your LPI Report
Sample LPI Report
My Responses to the LPI
LPI Feedback Reflections
Day 2
Analytical Bible Study 1. Each person reads a passage aloud with
others paying particular attention to the concept of faithfulness in each passage.
2. Individually list the characteristics below. The characteristics can also be images you felt during the readings.
3. What is the importance of faithfulness? How are we faithful to God when leading a congregation? How is God faithful to us?
Improving Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence
21
Pleasant Positive
Unpleasant Negative
High
Feeling Energy
Low
How are you?
Step 1. Mark how you feel X1.
Step 2. Indicate where you think your partner is Y1
Pleasant Unpleasant
High
Emotion
Energy
Low
Sad
Happy Angry
Calm
Content
Pleased
Afraid
Annoyed
Bored Tired
Surprised
It matters how you feel!
Committed, talented and
caring leaders still sometimes
fail
24
Why?
? Success
25
High IQ
26
A threshold competency
Success
25%?
Hunter & Hunter, 1984 10%?
Sternberg, 1996
4%?
Other studies
? Success?
27
Things we are learning about success
28
29
30
Harvard: Reading emotions
Seligman: Optimism
US Navy: Warm, expressive
Yale: Emotional Contagion
Intelligence + Motivation + Skills + Emotional
Intelligence Success
31
Emotions and Moral Judgment Marcus, 2002
� Justice and democracy impossible without emotions.
� Emotions act as moral intuitions – guiding us from right and wrong.
Emotions Scavenger Hunt � What emotions do you see?
33
What is emotional intelligence?
34 How do I improve mine?
The science of EI …
� Began in 1990 by Salovey & Mayer
35
“Mayer, Salovey, Caruso’s approach sets the gold standard.” - Dr. Catherine Daus & Dr. Neal Ashkanasy
Emotional intelligence is "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thinking and action".
Emotional intelligence theory
36
IDENTIFY
USE
UNDERSTAND
MANAGE
Emotional Intelligence is: � A hard skill
� A form of intelligence
Where
� You think about emotions, and
� Emotions help you think
37
Emotional Intelligence relates to:
� Greater empathy for others � More positive behaviors � Less ‘negative’ behaviors � Better quality social relationships � Enhanced communication � Social support � Vision, charisma, teamwork …
38
Emotions have meaning and importance
1. Occurs due to a change in the environment
2. Occurs automatically and quickly
3. Changes attention and thought
4. Certain physical feelings
5. Motivates behavior
Serves an adaptive function
39
Emotions drive relationships
� The primary function of emotion is to mobilize the organism to deal quickly with important interpersonal events.
� Events include: threats, attacks, alarms, courtships, social contact, isolation, greetings, appeasement, dominance, submission, and play. � Robert Plutchik, psychologist
40
Emotions are universal … � Darwin The expression of the emotions
in man and animals (1872)
41
42
But, there are individual and group differences
Emotional sensitivity: - Ability to pick up emotional signals - Varies from person to person
Specific causes of emotions:
- Can vary from person to person and across groups
Emotional Differences When we express these emotions:
- Differs from culture to culture
- These are called display rules
43
Emotional display rules example
Emotions expressed at work:
44
Anger Happiness
53%
19%
Mayer and Salovey’s Ability-based model of Emotional Intelligence
45
IDENTIFY
USE
UNDERSTAND
MANAGE
What emotions are you, and others, experiencing?
How are these emotions directing and impacting thinking?
What caused these emotions? How might these emotions change?
How do you manage your emotions and other’s emotions?
EI Skill Building Points
1. Recognize emotions exist and begin to pay closer attention to emotion cues.
2. Emotions contain data.
3. Emotions can be managed.
4. Emotions can be used to influence yourself and others (intra and interpersonal).
5. Emotion and rational data leveraged produce optimum decision making.
IDENTIFY
USE
UNDERSTAND
MANAGE
How to identify emotions: Notice subtle differences
Disgust or Anger?
How to identify emotions: Real – or – Fake?
Real – or – Fake?
Real or Fake?
Real expressions of happiness and joy are noted in the smile (upturned mouth) but must be accompanied by ‘smiling eyes’ or crow’s feet.
Real – or – Fake?
Real – or – Fake?
Universal Emotions Quiz
View each picture and write down the emotion you see.
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
Ekman’s universal emotional expressions
� Surprise
� Joy
� Rage
� Disgust
� Fear
� Sorrow
� (Contempt)
72
We also identify emotions nonverbally
The story we tell with our bodies
With a partner, interpret the following pictures; be
prepared to tell the story
75
76
77
We interpret emotions through vocal cues
� Pitch
� Loudness
� Voice quality
� Precision of articulation
� Velocity
� Amount of pauses
78
Emotional charades
79
Emotional Charades � Volunteers will pick an emotion word, think about the physical
behaviors that accompany this emotion and portray it as best they can.
� Add appropriate facial expressions, sounds, gestures to indicate emotion.
� The rest of us will guess the emotion.
Why is this important? � Emotional information hits us QUICKER than words.
If you want to be more effective in communication in real time – notice what you are emoting!
� Practice. � Practice. � Practice. � Helps to form new neural
pathways.
IDENTIFY
USE
UNDERSTAND
MANAGE
Using emotions � Feelings affect thinking
and vice-versa
� Emotions can help or hinder
� The emotional state may be the most important factor
83
Emotion—task matching
What emotion would help?
� Proofreading
85
What emotion would help?
� Asking for money
86
What emotion would help?
� Analyzing a budget
87
What emotion would help?
� Brainstorming solutions
88
What emotion would help?
� Discussing detailed information
89
Using Emotions
“I never came upon any of my discoveries through the process of
rational thinking.”
“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Use Emotions: The ability to generate, use, and feel emotion
“Effective leadership directly involves the use of emotion, often through symbolic management [where] the leader uses symbols – stories, rituals, myths, fables – to rouse and motivate staff to guide them toward achievement of a shared vision.”
Caruso, Mayer & Salovey 2001
Emotional inventory exercise
93
Emotional Inventory – Easy Emotion � Choose an emotion that is easy for you to go to.
� DON’T SHOW YOUR PARTNER THE EMOTION WORD YOU CHOSE.
� Tell a story of regarding this emotion word without using the word.
� Your goal is to: � Generate these emotions in yourself � Generate these emotions in your partner
� Partner engages in active and reflective emotional listening. � Ask a question that reflects the storyteller’s emotions � Make an empathic comment � Both your substance and your style should match the story
Storytelling Debrief n How deeply did you feel what
the storyteller conveyed?
n What were the elements of the storytelling that were effective?
Sensory Development Awaken the senses through multi source sensory stimulation.
1. Taste
2. Touch
3. Smell
4. Sight
5. Hearing
Connecting across the full-range of emotions…
Think emotional inventory!
Use Negative Emotions Productively
Negative emotional states: � Provide us with a clear focus � Details examined more efficiently � Search for errors is enhanced � Process arguments more
systematically � Recall a meeting or situation when a negative mood
was helpful
Use Positive Emotions Productively
Positive emotional states: � Expands our thinking � Helps generate new ideas � Encourages us to consider
possibilities
� Recall a meeting or a situation when a positive mood was helpful:
Pleasant Positive
Unpleasant Negative
High
Feeling
Energy
Low
Matching emotion to task
Matching Emotion to Task
Pleasant Unpleasant
High
FEELING
Low
ENER
GY
Pleasant Unpleasant
High
FEELING
Low
ENER
GY
Use emotions to . . .
IDENTIFY
USE
UNDERSTAND
MANAGE
IDENTIFY
USE
UNDERSTAND
MANAGE
What emotions are you, and others, experiencing?
How are these emotions directing and impacting thinking?
What caused these emotions? How might these emotions change?
How do you manage your emotions and other’s emotions?
Skill Building Understanding Emotions
� You have to accurately name it and understand where it comes from
Clearly articulating feelings
is important to effective
communication. Understanding
emotional causes as well as
predicting emotional behavior is key.
Joy Gain something of value
Sadness Lose something of value
Anger An obstacle to achieving a goal
Disgust Offends your principles or values
Surprise Unexpected event
Interest Something new
Fear A perceived threat
Sources of emotions:
Understanding emotions � Emotions are not moods
� Emotions can be named
� You are not your feelings (emotions)
� Emotions are temporary
� Emotions involve body and mind
� Emotions are complex and changing
� Emotions are information! 107
Understanding emotions Emotions interact with one another and progress in
(usually) predictable ways
What’s the right sequence? � Mad
� Irritable
� Furious
� Annoyed
� Upset
� Enraged
� Angry
� Frustrated
1. Irritable
2. Annoyed
3. Frustrated
4. Upset
5. Mad
6. Angry
7. Furious
8. Enraged
109
What’s the right sequence? � Happy
� Pleased
� Joyous
� Amused
� Calm
� Positive
� Content
1. Calm
2. Content
3. Pleased
4. Amused
5. Positive
6. Happy
7. Joyous
110
Understand Activity Small Groups
1. Brainstorm several work-related activities. 2. Select your top three as a group.
3. List emotions you experience most frequently with those activities.
4. Explain/list causes for those emotions.
5. Choose the emotions that you want to experience that would be the most beneficial for the task at hand.
6. Determine some behaviors you can utilize to get you to those new/desired emotional states.
Values � We become “emotional” about things we value.
� Knowing what you value and your clients value helps to understand the causes and predictions of emotions better.
� Do the values need to be realigned? Changed? Enhanced?
� Re-examing values is also a way to help manage emotions.
Understanding Emotions Key Skill Building Points:
� Arguably an easier skill to build.
� Increase emotional vocabulary
� Analyze and forecast what emotion and/or event produces what type of emotional outcome.
IDENTIFY
USE
UNDERSTAND
MANAGE
IDENTIFY
USE
UNDERSTAND
MANAGE
What emotions are you, and others, experiencing?
How are these emotions directing and impacting thinking?
What caused these emotions? How might these emotions change?
How do you manage your emotions and other’s emotions?
Managing Emotion
“A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.”
Managing Emotions
� Emotions contain data, so stay open to feelings
� Good decisions and actions require emotion.
117
Managing emotional displays
MANAGE
Instructions PAIR UP
Slide Viewer: you will watch a slide show
Rater: face Slide Viewer. Do not watch slide show. Guess the emotions they feel and express.
Rater: Turn away!
You will view a set of slides of sad images.
However, your task is to suppress your real feelings and show a Neutral to Calm expression.
BEGIN NOW
Slide Viewer Instructions
Discussion Rater: � What emotion was expressed? � What emotion was felt? Slide Viewer: � How well did you manage your
expression? � Strategies used to control emotional
expression?
Switch roles
As you watch these funny slides your task is to show a SAD expression.
BEGIN NOW
Slide Viewer Instructions
I went to the bank the other day and I asked the banker to check my balance ..…
So he pushed me
“You’re fired,Jack.The lab results just came back,and you tested positive for Coke.”
Q: What's the most important thing to learn in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon.
Revenge of the mouse
� Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”
� The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”
� The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
Moses’ first and last day as a lifeguard.
Discussion Rater: � What emotion was expressed? � What emotion was felt? Slide Viewer: � How well did you manage your
expression? � Strategies used to control emotional
expression?
Managing Emotions
� Can we always control our emotions? � Do we ‘leak’ emotions? � How does it impact others if we hide underlying feeling?
Even if you can suppress, it has a cost:
Information
Supp
ress
The cost of suppression � Loss of information
� Inaccurate reads of suppressed emotions
� Physical and emotional toll on the one who suppresses
� Loss of ability to empathize and connect with others
Effective emotion management 1. Breathe
2. Meditate
3. Re-examine values
4. Stay present
5. Do more of what you enjoy
6. Select another situation
7. Modify the situation
8. Modify the emotion
9. Reappraise the situation
10. Reposition your body
11. Visualize something else
Responsive Strategy: Use an Intervening Moment
Intervening Moment
EVENT REACTION STRATEGY
Intervening Moments Exercise
� With a partner, pick an event that requires an emotional management intervention to get to the reaction you want to project.
� What is your strategy?
Welcoming emotions Don’t
� Be used by them
� Be highjacked
� Be undermined
� Be afraid
� Avoid them
� Suppress them
Do � Be inspired � Be motivated
� Find out what’s happening
� Make intelligent choices about emotions
� Blend emotion and thought
149
Strategies that don’t work
� Mind/mood altering substances � Alcohol � Big Macs � Chocolate � Cigars
� Escapism � TV, media
150
Strategies that do work � Writing
� 20 minutes a day without stopping
� Use more positive than negative emotional words � Use causal words (e.g., this caused, led me to, etc.)
� Use insightful words and phrases (e.g., “understand,” “realize”)
151
Strategies that do work � Exercising
� 3 times per week or more
� 20 -30 minutes a session � Aerobic exercise
� It does not have to be highly intense to help
152
Speed Advice/Sharing Emotion Management Strategies
� Think of a situation that stresses you
� Briefly explain it to your team members
� One minute per person. � Team provides potential
emotional management strategies.
Managing Emotions Key Skill Building Points
� Calibrate yourself to be open to emotional information.
� Emotions can be managed through awareness, self induced relaxation, determining payoffs and mood induction exercises.
� Learn what works best for you and others.
� Use multiple methods to influence others. � Navigate towards forecasted and desired outcomes by using
emotionally intelligent behavior
Who Needs Gingko? Emotions are a natural memory
enhancer
“Emotions give a more activated and chemically stimulated brain, which helps us recall things better.”
Wrap Up and Conclusion How has this personally impacted you?
What are some key insights you gained today that will help you along your EI journey?
What are some areas you would like to pursue further?
157
Discovering Your Conflict Management
Style
Discover your conflict management style
� Read pages 1-3 ONLY
� Complete inventory on page 35
� Score your inventory
The Styles 1. Persuading
2. Compelling
3. Avoiding/Accommodating
4. Collaborating
5. Negotiating
6. Supporting
What style, when? 1. Identify a Biblical story that demonstrates your
group’s conflict style
2. Identify situations in a congregational where this style could be helpful
3. Identify situations where this style might not be helpful.
Responding to the Challenge of
Congregational Conflict
Desired Outcomes
� Understand responses to conflict
� Examining Biblical models for responding to conflict
� Developing constructive strategies for responding to conflict
Congregational conflict: A reality check
The church we want:
“All the believers continued together in close fellowship . . . they had their meals together in their homes, eating with glad and humble hearts, praising God, and enjoying the good will of all the people.”
(Acts 2:44-47)
The church we (often) get: For some people from Chloe's family have told me quite plainly, my friends, that there are quarrels among you. Let me put it this way: each one of you says something different. One says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Peter”; and another, “I follow Christ.” Christ has been divided into groups!
(1Cor. 1:11-13)
"There is no dipper that never scrapes the kettle"
—Chinese proverb
The witness of scripture about conflict (p. 49)
Jesus' life & ministry produced conflict:
� With his family
� With his disciples
� With the authorities
� With other religious people
� With other Jews
The Witness of Scripture (p. 49)
� The earliest churches had conflict:
� Acts: Who can belong?
� Corinth: Immorality and class conflict
� Galatia: Foolishness, negligence
� Philippi: Posturing and division
� The seven churches of Revelation
Copyright Dik LaPine and Christianity Today International/BuildingChurchLeaders.com. Used with permission.
Congregations Reporting Conflict
0%
10%
20%
30%
40%
50%
60%
70%
80%
Congregational Conflict
Some level, any kind
Serious level, any kind
Faith Communities Today 2000 Study
Congregational Conflict Has Consequences
� 70% of pastors regularly consider leaving the ministry
� 63% had been fired at least twice
� 78% had been forced to resign at least once
Sources of conflict
§ Disagreement about values/beliefs
§ Unclear leadership structures
§ Pastor’s role and responsibilities
§ Disagreement about leadership style
§ Changes in worship or music
§ Staff conflicts and loyalties
§ Narcissistic behavior
The Leadership Continuum
Leader oriented
Group oriented
Trust & ownership
Efficiency
The presence or absence of conflict is the single biggest predictor of church
growth or decline
—C. Kirk Hadaway Faith Communities Today 2005
If you haven’t fought with each other, you do not
know each other
— Chinese proverb
The paradox of conflict
The Negative Effects of Conflict
} Can cause group members to feel less positive toward the group
} Impacts members level of satisfaction
} Decreases effectiveness in working together
} Hampers future decision making
} Lowers overall performance
Positive Benefits of Conflict } Can produce higher quality decisions
} Can improve overall performance
} Improves overall quality
} Energizes relationships
} Encourages productivity and innovation
} Gives a voice to minority positions
} Unearths hitherto undiscovered problems
} Improves long-term sustainability
Two Types of Conflict
Destructive Conflict: Affective
} Emotion-centered
} Person-centered
} Undermines teamwork
} Undermines the ability to make decisions
} Undermines commitment to decisions
} Seeks a win-lose solution
Constructive Conflict: Substantive
} Issue or problem focused
} Does not confuse persons with positions
} Argues and disagrees without destroying the group’s ability to work together
} Seeks to solve problems, not win arguments
} Seeks a win-win solution
Responding to congregational
conflict Strategies that make a difference
Strategy 1: Develop your capacity to
respond
Don't remove a fly from your neighbor's face with
a hatchet —Chinese proverb
Understand your conflict management style
1. Persuading
2. Compelling
3. Avoiding/Accommodating
4. Collaborating
5. Negotiating
6. Supporting
} Expand your repertoire of options!
Exercise emotional intelligence
Strategy 2: Avoid avoidance
Why you should avoid avoidance
} Conflict does not often go away--just underground
} It’s more honest and healthier to say, "We don't agree, let's work on solving our disagreement"
} The perceived problem may go away . . . only to return again (and again) another day
Strategy 3: Analyze the conflict
Different kinds of conflict require different strategies
� If it is a substantive conflict � Focused on issues � Identifiable problem to solve
� Utilize an issue-focused problem solving methodology
Different kinds of conflict require different strategies
� If it is an interpersonal/emotional conflict (affective) � Focused on feelings � Interpersonal in nature
� Utilize a methodology focused on empathy, listening and personal
responsibility
Which comes first, thoughts or feelings?
} Feeling precedes thinking for most people
} Emotions can help or hinder thought processes
} Emotions refuse to be ignored in conflict situations
} Rational (thinking) problem solving usually happens after dealing with emotions
LEVELS OF CONFLICT
2
3
4
5
0
A Problem to Solve
Disagreement
Contest
Fight/Flight
Intractable Situation
Depression .
1
What level? Discuss:
� Think about a conflict you have experienced in your ministry and identify the level of conflict.
� What signs have you observed that point to the level you have identified?
Managing conflict � The simplest way to manage
conflict is to keep differences of opinion at Level One. � Levels 2 through 5 have to be
moved down � Level 0 has to move up
7 Steps in Problem Solving 1. Identify the issue: What are we trying to
decide?
2. What alternatives do we have?
3. How might each alternative work?
4. Which alternative(s) do we choose?
5. What do we need to do to carry out the decision?
6. Who will do what? Be specific
7. When and how will we evaluate? •
Strategy 4: Build relationships
Increasingly, we lead disconnected lives . . .
even within congregations
Americans are “Bowling Alone” (Robert Putnam)
-40-35-30-25-20-15-10-50510
1980 1993
IndividualbowlingLeaguebowling
Involvement in community is a predictor for other things
� Giving
� Volunteering
� Service to others
� Concern for the common good
� Trust of others
“To predict whether I am likely to give time, money, blood, or
even a minor favor, you need to know, above all, how active I
am in community life and how strong my ties to family,
friends, and neighbors are.”
-Robert Putnam, Bowling Alone
Strategy 5: Follow a Biblical
model
Don’t get caught in emotional triangles
The anatomy of a triangle
A Biblical model of reconciliation Matthew 18:15-17
Person Injured
Injured person takes initiative
Why?
Offender may not know
Reconciliation No Reconciliation
Bring another
Reconciliation No Reconciliation
Bring to Body
Strategy 6: Rely on the promises of
God
“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can
mortal man do to me?” Psalm 56:4
Exploring Conflict Through Case Studies
Case Study Exploration � Read the case study individually
� With your table group, identify: 1. The problem(s) that needs to be solved 2. Who is responsible for solving the
problem? 3. Possible methods for solving the problem
Difficult Conversations Douglas Stone Bruce Patton Sheila Heen
Three Conversations in One
� The “What Happened” Conversation
� The Feelings Conversation
� The Identity Conversation
What Happened? � Not who’s right
� Don’t assume what they meant
� Abandon blame
� Exploring stories
� Disentangle intent from impact
� Map the Contribution system
Feelings Matter! � Unexpressed feelings � Leak or burst into conversation � Make it difficult to listen � Affect our self-esteem
� Getting a handle on your feelings � Explore your feeling history � Find “bundle” of feelings behind simple
label � Find feelings lurking under judgments � Negotiate with your feelings
� Acknowledgement is key
Identity – What’s At Stake?
� Three Core Identities � Am I competent? � Am I a good person? � Am I worthy of love?
� Avoid the All or Nothing Syndrome
Ground Your Identity � Become aware of what’s at stake
� Adopt the And Stance
� Three Things to Accept � You will make mistakes � Your intentions are complex � You have contributed to the problem
� Regaining Your Balance � Let go of control of their reaction � Prepare for their response � Get some perspective (3 months, 3 years, 3
decades)
Creating a Learning
Conversation
Begin from the Third Story � Our story is important, but not the
best place to start
� Think like a mediator
� Not right or wrong – Just different
� Stay with the third story � Reframe your statements � Reframe their statements
Extend the Invitation � Describe your purposes
� Invite, don’t impose
� Make them your partner
� Be persistent
� Key phrases � I’d like to talk about � I wonder if it would make sense � Would you mind discussing
Listening is Key � Listening transforms the conversation
� Listening helps them listen to you
� Listen from the inside out � Forget the words – Authenticity � Become aware of your internal voice
� Negotiate your way into curiosity
� Inquire, paraphrase, acknowledge
Speak up too � You are entitled
� Failure to express yourself keeps you out of relationships
� Entitlement doesn’t mean obligation
� Speak to the heart of the matter � Start with what matters most � Say what you mean � Recognize complexity (Me-Me And)
Telling Your Story Clearly
� Don’t present your conclusions as THE TRUTH
� Share from where your conclusions come.
� Don’t exaggerate (always & never)
Take the Lead in Problem Solving } Reframe, reframe, reframe } Move from “either/or” to “and” } Listen even more } Name the dynamic } It takes two to agree } Test your perceptions ◦ Say what is missing ◦ Say what would persuade you ◦ Ask what (if anything) would persuade them ◦ Ask their advice
} Invent options
Checklist 1. Prepare by walking through the three
conversations � What happened � Emotions � Identity
2. Check your purposes and decide whether to raise the issue
3. Start from the third story
4. Explore their story and yours
5. Problem Solving
Day 3
African Bible Study Matthew 13:1-9; 18-23
Congregational Support Systems
Dr. Stephen H. Cook
The Talking Chair
� Complete the worksheet in the Learner’s Guide on p. 68
� Prepare to share your commitments with your table group and the faculty
Assignments and next steps
Pick a new project to work on for next time Compete the evaluation online
Pray for one another and keep in touch!
Closing Activity