change - live. work. dream. babauta the two things that i’ve found that truly don’t work are...

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Inspiring CHANGE organized by Lynn Fang

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Page 1: CHANGE - live. work. dream. Babauta The two things that I’ve found that truly don’t work are pushing people to change, and wishing they would. People will change when they want

Inspiring

CHANGE

organized by Lynn Fang

Page 2: CHANGE - live. work. dream. Babauta The two things that I’ve found that truly don’t work are pushing people to change, and wishing they would. People will change when they want

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For anyone who has questioned

the status quo

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CONTENTSIntroduction 4Do’s&Don’ts 6Stories:

Mike Lieberman: Urban Organic Gardener 7Lori Alper: Groovy Green Livin 8Evita Ochel: Evolving Wellness 9Leo Babauta: Zen Habits 11Jeanie Witcraft: Making Love & Money 12Julia McGarey: Simplicity in Stages 13Karen Lee: EcoKaren 14Andrew Odom: Tiny r(E)volution 16Andrea C: Healthy People, Healthy Planet 17Raam Dev: RaamDev.com 18Ricky Ferdon: Happiness is the Natural State 19SherryGreens: One Earth to Live 21Tammy McLeod: AgriGirl 22Sam Spurlin: SamSpurlin.com 24Chris Guillebeau: The Art of Non-Conformity 25Shannon Whitehead: All of Us Revolution 27Michael Nolan: The Garden Rockstar 28Meg Wolfe: Minimalist Woman 29Colleen Madsen: 365 Less Things 30Ali Dark: Whirled Peas 31Todra Payne: Healthy Beauty Social 32Courtney Carver: Be More With Less 34Jenny McCutcheon: ExConsumer 35Monica Schrock: Low Impact Betty 36Kristin Glenn: All of Us Revolution 37Small Footprints: Reduce Footprints 39David Quilty: The Good Human 40

Contributors 41Credits 42

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Youwanttomakeadifferenceinthisworldbyhelpingotherslivemoreconsciously.

Buthowcanyoumakeadifferenceonyourown?

Yourattemptstoshareyourknowledgewithothersreceivesanattitudeofdefense,ratherthanacceptance.

Howwillyouevermakeapositiveimpactontheworld?

ThiswasthequestionIaskedoverandoveragain,asIbegantogreenmylifeandgrowmoreconsciousofmydecisions.Ihadnoideahowtotalkabouttheissuesinawaythatwouldn’tgetmegrimacesandscowls.SoIaskedforhelp.

Over25bloggersandreadershelpedanswerthisquestionthroughsharingtheirstoriesofwhatworkedandwhatdidn’tintryingtohaveamorepositiveinfluence.

Introduction

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Theresoundingresponsewastobethechangeyourself,walkthetalk,andleadbyexample.Itcanbehardtoseethiswhenyou’rejustbeginningthejourneyofconsciousliving,sothatiswhyI’vepublishedtheirresponsesinthisebook.

IncludedinthisebookisashortandsweetlittleguideofDo’sandDon’t’sfortheeverydaychangemakertohaverealimpact,withoutturningfriendsintoenemies.

Followingthat,we’llhearthestoriesof25talentedandcaringbloggers.Supportandlearnmoreabouteachofthesewonderfulpeoplebyvisitingtheirwebsite.YoucanclickontheirlinksinthelistofContributorsonpage39.

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Do Don’t

Express yourself authentically, with no strings attached

Be a mentor and guide

Help others think and fend for themselves

Learn from others

Explain your beliefs in a positive manner

Be the change you wish to see

Lead by example

Walk the talk

Focus on positive benefits

Express passion: Passion kindles passion

Expect others to change

Preach

Be impatient

Focus on the negative impacts

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I’vefoundthatthemostunsuccessfulmethodsforinfluencingpeopleistotellthemwhywhattheyaredoingissobad.Thiscausespeopletogetonthedefensiveandtocombatwhateveritisthatyouaresaying.

ThebestexperiencethatI’vehadininfluencinganotherpersonistojustleadmylifeanddomything.

When people see how effortless it is for me to grow my own food or prepare my own meals they become inquisitive and begin asking questions.

Thisopensupthediscussionsanddialogue.

Mike LiebermanUrban Organic Gardener

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Lori AlperGroovy Green Livin’

About12yearsago,whenIbeganmyown“green”journey,Iwasexcitedtoshareallofmynewfoundknowledge.Ididn’tstartoffdoingitinaveryacceptingandnon-judgmentalway.Iwasactuallyabitjudgmental.Iwouldquestionchoicesthatmyfriendsandfamilyweremakingwhenitcametothingstheywereputtinginandontheirbodies:food,cleaningproducts,personalcareproductsetc.ItwasdefinitelyabigturnoffandI’msureitmadepeopleruntheotherway.OvertimeIrealizedthatit’samistaketotryandchangeothers;realchangecanonlycomefromwithin.

IwasatacookoutafewweeksagowhenawomanIknewapproachedme,andbegantalkingaboutgoing“green”.Shehadrecentlydecidedtoliveagreenerlifestylebyremovingasmanytoxinsaspossiblefromherlife.Wetalkedabouthandsoap,detergent,householdcleanersandorganicfood(exciting,Iknow!).Ithinkwecouldhavespenttheentirenighttalking-shewasclearlypassionateaboutlearningandtakingstepstocreateanon-toxiclifestyle.SheknewthatIwasequallypassionateaboutthetopic. Sheleftthecookoutwithseveralideasforhome-madecleanersthatIhadshared.Ialsogaveheralistofwhichfruitsandvegetablestotrytobuyorganic. Ileftthecookoutwithafeelingoffulfillment.Itwaswonderfultotalkwithapersonwithsuchaclearpassionanddesiretomakechangesinherlife.Shewastrulyenthusiasticanddedicatedtohergreenjourney.Iwastheretoguideher,butherdesireforchangewascomingfromwithin.

I had no doubt at that moment that the best way to inspire others is to lead by example.

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Evita Ochel

Evolving WellnessWhenIfirststartedwritingandteachingonandoffline,IthoughtthatIcouldhelppeopleinstantlyhavebetter,happierandmorepeace-filledlivessimplybybeinginspiredthroughthecontentIandotherslikemeshared.Afterall,didn’teveryonewanttochangeandleadmoreawake,awareandmeaningfullives?

Didn’teveryonewanttoavoidcommonlifepitfalls,learnfromtheexperiencesofothersandfindaneasierwaytolive?Asitturnedout,theyactuallydidn’t.

Alotofpeopletalkaboutwantinghelp,butwhenhelparrivestheyturnawayfromit,negateit,orfindeveryexcuseforwhyitwillnotwork.WhatIhavethusrealizedtodayisthateveryone’spersonalevolutionisaverysensitivearea.

Whilehelpfulorinspirationalwordsandtipscanhelp,theyarenormallynotenough.Therearetoomanyfactorsinvolved.Weshouldneverthinkweknowwhatisbestforanotherpersonorhowtheirlifeshouldbe.

Thethingssomecall“bad”,“hard”or“tragic”arenormallygiftsindisguisetorisetoournextlevelofevolution.Eachpersonhastheirownuniquepathandlifejourney,andwhatmakesmostsensetoone,doesnotnecessarilytoanother.

Attheendoftheday,thereisdivinetimingforeveryoneastowhenandiftheyshouldimplementalifechange,whichnormallytakesonamultidimensionalapproach.

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Walkingthetalkandbeingalivingexamplehasbeenmybestexperienceininfluencingotherpeople.Ihavecometolearnthatthereissomethingsodifferentintellingsomeonesomethingandactuallyshowingsomeonesomething.

Instead of giving another being any kind of lecture, advice or tips, it is best simply to show or describe how we ourselves live.

Ifthisshouldhappentoresonatewithanotherperson,Ifoundtheyimplementchangeintheirlifemosteasily,naturallyandfeellikeitisdoneontheirownterms,insteadofhavingsomeonetellingthemwhattodo.

Wecaninfluenceothersinthemostpowerfulwaybybeingthechangewewishtosee,andnotholdinganyexpectationsastowhattheotherwillchoose.Weneedtosimplyliveourlivesaccordingtoourownadvice,virtuesandtruthsandallowotherstofindthesameforthemselves,ifandwhentheychoosetodoso.

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Leo Babauta

ThetwothingsthatI’vefoundthattrulydon’tworkarepushingpeopletochange,andwishingtheywould.

People will change when they want to change, and all the pushing in the world only makes them more resistant.

WhenI’vetriedtochangemyfamily,theygetstubbornandfeellikethey’rebeinglecturedandforced.I’vealsofoundthatwishingeveryoneelsewouldchangeisuseless--itdoesn’thappen,andyouendupfrustratedallthetime.

WhathasworkedformeisaGandhianapproach:bethechange,andshareitwiththeworld.WhenIshowothershowI’vesimplifiedmylifeandfoundcontentment,theyseethatit’spossible.Theybecomeinspired,theyconsiderchangingthemselves,andtheyaskmeforconcretesteps.Noteveryonewillmakethechanges,butthosewhoareready,thosewhocraveit,willusemychangeasamoveroftheirown.

Zen Habits

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Jeanie WitcraftMaking Love & Money

My biggest failure to influence is a matter of my own impatience. I want the people I love to take action NOW. For example: I quit smoking, became vegetarian, then vegan, and extricated myself from a romantic relationship that was no longer serving me well. My mother watched all of these changes, first with trepidation and then a growing admiration for the results of my changes. She tells me that she hopes to follow in my footsteps “one day,” but unfortunately, she hasn’t taken the plunge yet. The day she does will be my greatest joy. The worst method of influencing change was to harangue her with the risks of smoking and extol the numerous benefits of quitting. She knows this already. Her eyes glazed over and she reached for her cigarettes each time I began talking about it.

My biggest success story in influencing someone is my father. During my childhood, he tried and failed to quit smoking many times. Once I made it to the 1 year mark, and could be around smokers while drinking during the holidays, (all triggers) he started to think,

“Hey, I’m proud of my girl for quitting. If she can do it...maybe I can too.”

He tells me that he and his wife quit smoking July 5th, and have stayed quit so far. I’m proud of my dad for changing a lifetime of habit, no matter who influenced him.

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Julia McGarey

BackinhighschoolIusedtopreachtomyfriendsaboutbeingvegetarian.IchoseavegetariandietbecauseIfeltthatitwasthebestthingIcoulddofortheenvironment,andIwantedtogetotherpeopleonboard.Eventually,IrealizedthatallIwasn’tconvincinganyone,justannoyingthem,soIstoppedpreaching.

Mybestexperienceinfluencingsomeonecameafewyearslater.IwasataweeklongswingdancingcampnearSeattlewithagroupoffriends.Bytheendoftheweek,oneofmyfriendstoldmethathedidn’tthinkhecouldeatmeatanymoreafterspendingaweekwithmeandseeinghowIate.Itwasawesome.

I really believe that the people you can reach will get there faster if they come to it on their own.

And they will come to it on their own.

Simplicity In Stages

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Karen Lee

EcoKaren

PracticingwhatIpreach.Walkingthetalk.....andaskingsomeonetojust‘try’somethingtheyneverdidbeforeandseeforthemselves.Beeducatedanddecidebasedontheknownfacts.

Ihavemanyclimateskepticsaroundme.Theyusedtolaughwheneverwetalkedaboutmywayoflife-beinggreen,buyinglocal,eatingorganic,etc...Then,Iaskedonemy“non-believer”friendstowriteareviewonawaterfiltrationsystemformyblogandhowwaterfiltrationsystemshouldreplacebottledwaterdelivery.Asatropicalfish

aficionado,heknowsaboutwaterfiltrationsystem.Sohewroteanhonestopinionafterheresearched,independently,onthisparticularcompany’ssystem.Istillgethitsonhisreview,threeyearslater.

He bought the system after he reviewed it and discontinued bottled water delivery. That was a huge victory for me.

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Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

~ Benjamin Franklin

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Andrew Odom

ThereisabeautifulquotebyHamiltonWrightMabiethatsays,“Thequestionforeachmantosettleisnotwhathewoulddoifhehadmeans,time,influenceandeducationaladvantages,butwhathewilldowiththethingshehas.”

Ihaveneverconsideredtobemyselfsomeonethatwalkedapathofinfluence.Ihaveneversetouttochangethemindsofanyone.ButwhatIhavelearnedisthatexampleisafarbetterteacherthansermonandIreallyfoundthattobetruerightinmyownhome.

MywifeandIwerefortunateenoughtoliveincommunitywithmyfolksandsomeextendedfamilymembersfortwoyears.Duringthattimewesharedideas,principles,andpractices.Theyraisedmewithahugeignoranceregardingwaste.Wethreweverythingawaywithoutregardforlandfillsorpilesofjunk.MywifeandItookourrecyclingpassionintotheirhomethoughandneveroncesaid“youhavetorecycle.”Wemadesuggestion.

We showed by example. And we talked numbers.

Infact,foramonthwesortoftrackedhowmanygarbagebagsweresavedbyrecycling.Ifnothingmorethanthemoneysavedchangedtheirminds,theyweresoonrecyclingbychoice.Perhapsthoughmyinfluencesunkinwhenmyfathercamehome-after61yearsofthrowingeverythingaway-withthreetrashcansheproudlyannouncedwouldbeusedtoseparateourrecyclingitems;cardboard,glass,andplastic.

Tiny r(E)volution

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Andrea C

Oneofmybestexperiencesininfluencingsomeonewasunconsciouslyconvincingmypartnertoeatlocallygrownfood.Beforemeetingme,henevergaveasecondthoughttowherehisfoodcamefrom.WeliveinsouthernOntario,soalotofourfoodcomesfromCalifornia,Chile,andChinabeforeourgrowingseasongetsintohighgear.

Istartedpointingoutthecountry-of-originstickersonfruitsandveggieswhenwewouldgogroceryshoppingtogether.IwouldexplainwhyIwaschoosingmenuoptionAinsteadofmenuoptionBinrestaurantsbecausetheformercontainedseasonalingredientswhilethelatterdidnot.Iwouldevensaynotooneofmyfavouritefruits,mango,because“itwon’ttasteasgoodasitdidwhenIhadonefreshoffthetreeinChina”.

I wasn’t preaching; I just wanted my partner to know the reasons behind my actions.

Slowlybutsurely,hisattitudechangedtoreflectagreaterinterestinlocalfood.Hebegantoquestionwhetherimportedfoodactuallytastesasgoodasitlooks,andwhetherbuyingblueberriesfromChileinthedeadofwinterwouldbeassatisfyingaspickinghisownoverthesummerhere.Slowlybutsurely,he’sincorporatingmorelocalfoodinhisdietbecausehenoticeshowconsciousIamofwhatIputinmymouthandhowhappyIambitingintofresh,local,picked-when-ripeproduce.AllIhadtodowasbemyself!

Healthy People, Healthy Planet

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Raam Dev

AfewweeksagoImetafriendforcoffee.Wekneweachotheronlinebutwehadnevermetinperson.Iknewshewasallaboutsustainability,allaboutreusingthingstoavoidunnecessarywaste.Herwritingandthethingsshesharedonlineencouragedmetolivemoreconsciouslyandhelpedmefeelmoreawareoftheenvironmentandtheworldaroundme.

Whenwearrivedatthecafe,Iorderedacupofteaandreceiveditinapapercup.Sheorderedanicecoffee.Butbeforethecashierhadtimetorepeatherorder,shehandedhimaglassmasonjarandaskedhimtousethatinsteadofadisposablecup.IsmiledinsidebecauseIcouldfeelthepowerofthatmoment.Thatseeminglyinsignificantinteractionimprinteditselfonmeandhasremainedwithmetothisday.Ithasgrownintoamemorythatactsasatinyseedofherpassionstirringwithinme,remindingmenottowasteevenasinglepapercup.

ThefriendImetthatdaywasLynnFangandI’vestartedusingmasonjars.

Passionkindlespassion.Ifyouliveyourlifepassionatelyandfearlesslymakeconsciouschoicesabouthowyoulive,otherswillbeinspiredtodothesame.Passioniscontagious.Itspreadslikeaninvisiblewildfirethroughtheheartsandmindsofthosearoundyou,visibleonlythroughthesubtlewaysinwhichtheydesiretochangethemselves.

When you live consciously and allow your passion to shine through, others will be inspired to change with you.

RaamDev.com

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Inthiscase,Iknewtheboy’sbrother:heworkedformeatthebusinessIwasmanaging.Iwenttoasmallconcertthattheemployedbrotherwasplayingin.Iwasoutsidethebuildingwiththeyoungerboy’smotherandanothermother.Theboywaswalkingaroundbyhimselfhittingthingswithastickandjustnotabletosettledown-obviouslydisturbed.Abitafterthat,hegotintosometroubleatschool.

Ashashappenednumeroustimes,I“knew”thatitwastimetoestablisharelationshipwiththischild(hisparentsweregoingthroughadivorcewhichwasacontributingfactor-Ithinktheboywas12).IphonedhismotherandtoldherthatIwasamentorandwouldshebeinterestedinmyseeingifIcouldestablisharelationshipwiththeboy:thatIwouldpickhimuponsuch-and-suchadayandwewouldgotothemovie.

Takingakidtothemoviespresentsgoodopportunitytocommunicatewiththechildasit’sabouta45minutedrivetothemoviesandthesameback.Thefirsttripwassuccessful-helikedmeandtrustedmeandsoweproceededtotryandmeetuponceaweek(usuallyaweekenddayduetoschoolduringtheweek).Wewouldgotoabookstore,anAquarium,etc.

Asourrelationshipgrewdeeperhewouldopenupandtalktomeaboutthethingsgoingoninhislifeandhisfeelingsandsuch.Havinganoutlet,Ifeel,helpedhimtobecomemuchcalmerandbetterabletoconcentrateonschoolandmakebettergrades(hislastyearofhighschoolhewasonthehonorroll).Helovedhugstoo,andIfreelygavethem.WewouldalwayshugwhenwesaweachotherandwhenIdroppedhimoffathome.Westillhugtothisday.Ithinkthiswasabigplustoo,

Ricky FerdonHappiness Is The Natural State

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ashewasreceivingphysicalconfirmationoflovefromanadultmale(rememberhisdadwasnotaround).

Ashehitpubertywetalkedaboutthosesortsofthings,girls,etc.,andheknewandknowsthathecouldalwaysaskmeanyquestionatallaboutanysubjectatall.Heknewhewouldneverbejudged,thoughtweird,ortreatedanydifferentlybymebecauseofanysubjectthatmightcomeup.

Astimeprogressed,wekeptintouchandwhentimewasopportuneovertheyearsIwouldofferadviceregardinglife,themeaningoflife,andsuch-neverinathis-is-the-way-it-ismanner,butmoreofanperhaps-so-and-so.Hegotoveranyfearsandindoctrinationsinhislifeandinthepastyearhasreallyblossomedinthinkingonhisown.Andhe’sdoingwell-figuringthingsoutfor

himself.Somethingshehasreallybrokenthroughwith.Therearesomethingsinthepresentthathe’lleventuallydropandgotothenextlevelwith-andItoldhimso.

HegraduatedfromHighSchoollastmonth,andisdoingruggedoutdoorconstructionworkthissummerandmakinggoodmoney.Heispeaceful,happyandlivingintheNow.

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ItishardtoknowthepeopleImayhaveturnedoff,orpeoplewhodismissedmeandmyideasrightaway.Iwillneverknow,really.WhatIdoobservearethepeopleinmylifewhoknowme,knowhowIlivemylifenow,knowwhyIamdoingthingsthewayIamdoing,yetstilldothingsdifferentlythemselves.ObviouslyIhavenotinspiredthemtochange.Thesepeopleareeverywhere.

Atwork,Imakeapointofwalkingaroundwithmyreusabletravelmug,Iarrivewithit,Itakeittomeetings,Ileaveattheendofthedaywithit.PeopleknowthatIamtryingtoreducegarbage.Yetthosesamepeoplehavenotoptedforareusablemug.Theystillgetapaperonefromthecupboardatwork,eachandeverytimetheyhavecoffee.Maybenowtheydon’tgetoneeverytime,theymayreusethepapercupallday.MaybethisissomesmallimprovementthatImayhavehadahandininspiring.

Anotherexampleispeopleinmylifewhoseemeactivelygiveupshopping,whoseemegivegentlyusedtoysforbirthdays,oratreasuremadebyalocalartisan,yetstilllovetoshopandpurchasestuffallthetime.

I can’t change them, I just can’t. Something has to change within them first.

MaybeIcanbeapartofthepuzzletofacilitatethatchange.MaybesomethingIdoorsaydoesnotcausethemtochangerightnow,butsaddstothebodyofknowledgethatpersonholdsonthesubject,whichwillonedaygrowenoughsothattheydochange.

SherryGreensOne Earth to Live

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Tammy McLeod

Tellingdoesn’tworkforme.IloveresearchandIlovedataandI’velearnedthehardwaythatmanypeoplearen’twiredsimilarly.

I’ve always expected that when talking about a healthy more sustainable lifestyle that I could just present the facts and that it would compel them to make changes. It doesn’t work that way for everyone.

Inparticular,it’sbeenreallyhardformetoconvincemyhusbandandoldestsonthatweshouldeatdifferently.They’veheardthefactsbutthosefactsaren’tresonatingwiththemasapersonalreasonforchange.

Oneofmybestexamplesofchangeoccurredatwork.I’dbeenpromotedtoleadalargegroupofemployeesatouroperatingcenter.Ihadaniceofficeandareservedparkingplaceinfrontofthebuilding.ThatwasatreatsinceI’dbeentransferredfromadowntowntowerwherewehadtopayforparkinginanearbygarage.

AgriGirl

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Iwassurprisedatallofthecomplaintsfromemployeeswhoparkedinthesecure,freelotacrossthestreet.Theybemoanedthedistancefromtheircarstotheirdesks.Myfirstresponsewasdata-driven.“Imaginehowitisdowntownwhereyouwalkandpay.”Thisgotareactionbutreallydidn’tseemtochangetheirattitudesaboutwhattheyhadtoendureintheirparkingexperience.Then,Idecidedtomodelthebehavior.Iawardedmyreservedspottoaverypregnantwomaninmy

officeandIstartedparkingintheabsolutefurthestspotfromthedoor.Whenpeopleaskedwhy,ItoldthemthatIneededtoaddsomeextrastepstomyday.Italsogavemetheopportunitytowalkinwiththemandhearwhatwasontheirmindsandhowworkwasgoingforthem.Complaintsdisappeared.Igotmorefitandbecameabetterleader.Walkingthetalkwaswhatworkedforme.

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I’vedrivenawayatleastone,maybetwogirlfriendsinmyzealforasimplerandmoremeaningfullife.WhenIgetextremelyexcitedbysomethingI’mafraidIalsobecomeveryannoying.WhenIwasfirstdiscoveringthejoysofaskingmyselfwhatItrulyneededvs.whatIwanted(whatsomepeoplecallminimalism)Ithoughteveryoneshoulddothesamething.RIGHTNOW.I’msureIwasinsufferablebutmyheartwasintherightplace.

Now,Iredirectthatexcitementandpassioninward.I’mstillmorethanhappytotalktosomeoneaboutwhatI’velearnedorhelpthemiftheyaskforadvice,butI’mnoevangelistanymore.

Instead, I let my actions speak for themselves. Ironically, this is about 94.2% more effective than telling people how to change their lives for the better. If they see me living in an interesting way that seems to be making me happy and fulfilled, they want to know what I’m doing.

That’smyopportunitytohelpcreatechangeintheirlife.Untilthatpoint,Ijustfocusonmyownhabits,actions,andbeliefs.

I’vehadthepleasureoftalkingtofriendsaboutstartingtorun,deletingFacebook,startingblogs,andeatingmorehealthilyasadirectresultofthethingsI’vewrittenandthewayIlive.That’sthebestpartaboutdoingwhatIdoasawriterandcoach.

Sam SpurlinSamSpurlin.com

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Chris Guillebeau

I think it’s important to remember that inspiration isn’t always one-way.

Iderivealotofmyowninspirationfrommycommunity,whosemembershavetheirownstoriesofnon-conformity,adventure,andchange.

ButIalsolearnedthatit’snotabadthingtoinspireothers,aslongasyou’rehelpingthemthinkforthemselves.Inoticedaboutayearintomywritingprojectthatsomepeoplesawitasamodelfortheirownlives.AtfirstIwasuncomfortablewiththat,untilIrealizedthatIhadmodeledpartsofmylifeonotherpeopleaswell.Inthelong-run,hopefullyit’sacontinuouscircleofinspiration--myhelpingpeoplewhilebeinghelpedbyotherpeopleatthesametime.

The Art of Non-Conformity

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Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, it must be accepted.

~ Winston Churchill

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Shannon Whitehead

Withoutadoubt,mybestmethodininfluencingothersistoleadbyexample.InmysenioryearofcollegeIwasoneofthecaptainsoftheclublacrosseteam.Iwasenthusiastic,tosaytheleast.MypassionandloveforthesportcameoutveryvocallywhenIwasputinapositionofpower--forbetterandforworse.Lookingback,partofmefeelsliketakingchargeasthequietleaderorunsungherowouldhavebeenmoreeffective.Leadingbyexampleisequallyaspowerfulinitsownsilentway.

Havinglearnedfromthatexperience,IdomybestnottoforcemyopinionsonothersunlessIfeelitabsolutelynecessary.

The little things -- like not leaving water running or going back to turn off all the lights or not drinking bottled water -- are small things that people pick up on.

Bynow,myfriendsknowhowmuchIhatewaste.Sonowwhenwemakedinnertogetherorgoouttoeat,everyoneisconsciousnottomakeorordermorethanweneed.It’snotoftenthatfoodgetsthrownout,andIknowit’sfrommyeffortstomakeeveryoneconsciousofourconsumption.

All of Us Revolution

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Michael Nolan

Theleasteffectivemethodforinfluencinganyoneistotrytoforceormandatechange.

For change to be real and long lasting it has to be an organic process.

Yearsofpreachingandtellingpeoplewhattheyneededtodoyieldedreallybadresults.

DuringmyyearsworkinginsuicidepreventionIwassuccessfullyabletotalkquiteafewpeoplethroughsuicidalepisodes.ThebestexperiencewasmonthsafterIhadhelpedasuicidalpregnantteen.Ireceivedacallfromthehospitalandrushedover.WhenIarrivedIwasgreetedbythesameteenwhointroducedmetohernewbornsonwhoshenamedMichael.

The Garden Rockstar

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Meg Wolfe

Idon’tthinkthereisanydirectwaytoinfluenceothersiftheyarenotreadytobeinfluenced,muchalongthelinesofbeingabletoleadahorsetowater,butnotmakehimdrinkit.Talkingsomethingupisseenasasalesjoboraspreaching,andnever,everworks.

When people are ready, however, just being happy as a clam with the way you live your own life is enough.

Forinstance,wedownsizedtoamuchsmallerhouseandclearlymadeitworkforus,evenforworkingathome.Itservedasafirst-handexamplewhenmysonanddaughter-in-lawwerereadytobuyahouseoftheirown,andtheyendedupwithoneevensmallerthanours.Theirgoodfriends,inturn,havejustpurchasedasmallhouseaswell.Allourhousesareinolderneighborhoodsclosetodowntown.Thefinancial,ecological,andtimesavingadvantagesareseenasmoredesirablethanowningsomethingnewer,larger,andflashier.

Minimalist Woman

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Idon’tthinkanyattempttoconvertsomeonetoamoresustainablewayofthinkingandactingcouldbeconsideredafailure.Tomakenoattemptatallhoweverwouldbe.Itisunlikelythatpreachingatpeoplewillbeeffective.

But to gently plant the seed of thought and nurture it when you can is more likely to be a more successful approach.

IamnosaintwhenitcomestodoingalltherightthingssoIdon’texpectmiraclesfromotherseither.

Onesmallbattleandpersonalsuccessofminetostemthetideofconsumerismwastoconvincemyfamilyandfriendsnottobuygiftsformeanymore.ThisalsoleadtotheadoptionofanewtraditionofdoingSecretSantawhenwegettogetheratChristmasratherthaneverybodybuyingeverybodyelsegifts.IthoughtIwouldreceivemoreresistancetothisbutitwasembracedwholeheartedly.Onemorevictoryinthefightforahealthierenvironment.

Colleen Madsen

365 Less Things

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Ali Dark

Whirled Peas

Beingasensitivetypeperson,Idon’treactwellgoingheadtohead,oregotoegoasitis,againstpeople.Whilesomeseemtopullitoff,Ibecomeeasilydiscouragedbypeople’swordsandactions.Signholding,shoutingslogans..theymaybeeffectiveinsomeway,butnotinthattheymakemeshyfromthecause.

I’vebeentoldthatalotofpeoplehaveadoptedsustainablefoodhabitsthroughmyworkataveganrestaurant.PeoplewhoInevertalkedtoaboutit(afterawhileImadeapointofnotaskingcustomersabouttheirdiet),butwhomentionedittoothersafterIhadleft(eg:‘where’stheguywhomademeveg?’).

Ithinksidesteppingthemine-fieldofpeople’sintellectualbarriersandculturalopinionsisessential.Presentingmyselfasevidence,peoplewillreformtheirownopinionsintime.

I just have to be the best me I can.

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BecauseIwasworkingasamakeupartistwithcelebritiesandmyworkwasappearinginfashionandlifestylemagazines,womenwerealwaysaskingmewhatbeautybrandsIlikedbest.OnceImadetheswitchtousingnaturalandnon-toxicproducts,Iwantedeveryonetothrowouttheirmainstreamcosmeticscoldturkey.

I stressed the health benefits of natural cosmetics, but most women didn’t seem to care very much.

Ididn’tconsiderhoweasilyIcanadapttoanytexturesandmakeuptechniquesIneedtoinordertogetthelookI’mgoingfor.Womenintheir

everydayliveswantquickandeasy.Theywanttolookbeautiful.Andtheyaren’talwaysmastersatapplyingwhatthey’realreadyusing.IfIexpectedthemtogiveupMAC,Ihadtoshowthemnaturalproductsthatwouldmakethemlookjustasgoodandwouldbeeasytoapply.Thenthey’dlistentothehealthmessage.

IwasscheduledtodoaworkshopatanaturallifestylestorechaininMaryland.Themanagerofthestorewantedmetotalktohercustomersaboutthebenefitsofusingnaturalbeautybrands.ShehadsomebrandsinstorethatIdidn’tconsiderthebestchoices,buttheywere“bridge”brands-brandswomenfindwhentheyfirstwanttogonaturalanddon’trealizethereareoptionsbetterthan“bignames”theyfindattheirlocalhealthfoodstore.Afewdayslater,Igotacallfrom

Todra Payne

Healthy Beauty Social

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thestoremanagersayingtherepsfromthebigcompaniesrefusedtoallowhertobringinanoutsidebeautyexperttotalkabouttheirbrands.Buttheywereunwillingtogiveworkshopstohelpherwithcustomerknowledge.Itoldthemanagersheshouldswitchtosmallercompaniesthatmakefresher,healthierproductsandifshedid,I’dhelphereducatehercustomers.Shelovedtheidea.HerstorehasalreadynegotiatedcontractswithtwobrandsIrecommendedandshe’llbechangingoutalmostallofheroldcompaniesfornewones.Inthiscase,Iinfluencedonepersonwhowillinfluencethepurchasingdecisionsofthousandsofwomen.

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WhenIfinallyrealizedthatusingacellphonewhiledrivingwasdistractinganddangerous,Icouldn’thelpbutsharemymessagewithgreatenthusiasmtomyfriendsandfamily.WhileeveryonerespectedmynotolerancepolicyforphoneswhileIwasinthecarwiththem,theywentabouttheirusualdriveanddialhabits.Ikeptsharingmymessagehopingitwouldsinkin,andthenIrememberedthatthebestwaytoeffectchangeistowalkthewalk,makeothersawareandthenletthemclosethegapbetweenawarenessandaction.

Therewerenoexceptionsforme,andmyfriendsandfamilywitnessedthefactthatIdidnotusemyphoneinthecar.AfewmonthspassedandmyhusbandandIweregoingout.Hewasdrivingandhisphonealertedhimthathehadatextmessage.Hedidn’tlookatit,butwaiteduntilwehadarrivedatourdestinationtocheckitandrespond.

I made him aware, but the habit change had to be his alone.

Now,neitherofuseourphoneswhiledrivingandwehopetosetthestageforourteenagedaughterwhoislearningtodrive.Hopefullyusingacellphoneinthecarwillneverbeahabitsheneedstobreak.

Courtney Carver

Be More With Less

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TherewasatimewhenIwouldpreachtomyfamilyaboutwhytheyshouldeathealthyfood.Insteadoftakingmy(notsogentle)advice,theydidtheoppositeofwhatIsaidtheyshould.I’vefoundthatinmostcases,peopledon’tappreciateunsolicitedadvice.

WhenIchangedmymethodofinfluencefromtellingthosearoundmewhattodotoshowingthemhowandwhyIdothingsacertainway,theimpactwasmuchgreater.OnceIrealizedthis,Ibeganleadingbyexample.ByactuallydoingtheexactthingsIwantedtoseechangedintheworld(payingoffdebt,livingamoresustainablelifestyle,minimizing,etc.),thepeopleclosesttomecouldsee--andmanytimes--chosetoadoptmanyofthesamechanges.

Evenifthepeoplearoundmedon’tchangeimmediately,Iknowtheseedofchangehasbeenplantedintheirminds.

After all, it was the many seeds of influence that were planted in my mind that created the change I live each day.

Jenny McCutcheon

ExConsumer

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Inmyexperience,talkingabouttheextremeineitherdirectiongenerallydoesn’thelpchangehappen.WhenItalkorwriteaboutdisapprovingwhenpeoplebeingavidmeateatersortheadventuresoftheextreme(nooil)vegans,earsandmindstendtoclose.Thosefewdoingalotmakeastatementforsure,butitsunrealistictoexpectthatoutofthemajorityanditdoesn’tseemtospeaktotheminawaythatinspires.SoItendtofocusonthemiddlegroundandthepositivewaysthateverydaychangesandmoderationcanmakedifferencetothemandtheworld.Then,iftheywanttoknowmore,andtheyusuallydo,IcanshareitALLwiththem!:)

Mybestexperienceinfluencingsomeone,waswhenIdidn’tevenknowIwasdoingit.IgrewupinTexas,soIhavealotoffriendsthatarecommittedtotheirsteakandBBQ.Igenerallypaythemnomindandletthemdotheirthing,IjusteatthewayIeatandexplainwhywhenpeopleinquire.Thenoneday,myfriendtoldmeshehadablogpostthatshewantedtopostonmyblog.Iaskedherwhatitwas,andshetoldmehowshehadbeencuttingmeatoutofherdiet,butmoreimportantly,howthatomissionhadbeenhelpingherchronicmigraines.IwassoexcitedforherIwantedtoburstandthenshetoldme,“Hey!AndI’mdoingsomethingfortheplanettoo.”Andthenithitme...

Personal health and happiness is the way to heal people and planet.

Monica SchrockLow Impact Betty

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I’vealwaysbeenaproponentof“doingwhatyoulove.”Butforme,thatmeantbeinganentrepreneur.Ithoughtthateveryoneshouldquittheirdayjobsandstrikeoutontheirown.AndIharpedonthatmessagealot-totheoffenseofmyfriendswhoareteachers,doctors,andlawyerswithtraditionalprofessions.Iwantedtoinspire,butIwasn’treachingouttotherightgroupofpeople.Ittookawhiletofindthatnicheofpeoplewhoareinareceptiveplaceandarereadytolisten.Soapboxesneverworkedintrulycreatingchange.

Intheearlydaysofourblog,rightafterourlaunch,Ifeltlikewestruckachordwithanumberofpeople-twentysomethingswhohadsimilarfeelingsaboutthepurposeoflifeandwork,whowerequestioningthemeaningofpassionversuspaycheck.Wewroteabouthowweplannedtochangeourlives-nothoweveryoneelseshouldchangetheirs,too.

Sharing stories of being an underdog is far more relatable (and therefore influential) than any “how to.” Ultimately, influence is about connection on a deep level, and I think that requires a level of intimacy and honesty with your audience that they don’t get every day.

Kristin Glenn

All of Us Revolution

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Inmyenthusiasmforliving“green”,IusuallytakeeveryopportunitytotalkaboutEco-friendlyactivities...withverylimitedsuccess.

The truth is that people don’t really want to hear about it until they are ready.

SoItalked,peoplepolitelylistened,andthencontinuedtoclingtotheirenvironmentallyunfriendlyways.WhileIfeltthatIwasplantingaseed(andperhapswas),itwasfrustratingandfeltlikeIwasn’tgettinganywhere.

Then,oneday,Iwasinagrocerystorewithmyreusablebags.Itwasatatimewhenreusablebagswerestillanoveltyandnot,liketoday,commonplace.Itwasalsoinastorethatwasn’tparticularly“green”.IaskedthecashiernottobaganythingandtoldherI’dbagitmyselfinmyownbags...andthatIwastryingnottouseplastic.Shelookedatmeweird,repeatedwhatIsaid(tobesureshehearditcorrectly),shookherheadbutcompliedwithmywishes.Amaninlinewaswatchingmyinteractionwiththecashier.IheardhimaskthepersonbehindhimtoholdhisplaceandInoticedthathewentouttohiscar,rummagedaroundandreturnedwithreusablebags.WhooHoo!Ilearnedanimportantlessonthatday...actionsspeakmuchlouderthanwordsevercan.

Small FootprintsReduce Footprints

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David QuiltyThe Good Human

Iusedtobealittlemoreharshinmyassessmentofwhatotherscould/shouldbedoingtobebetterstewardsoftheenvironment.Ibelievedpeoplewhodidn’trecyclewerejustlazyandthatanyonewhocan’tbuyeco-friendlylaundrydetergentisdoingitoutofspite;butalltheguiltandjudgementintheworldisn’tgoingtomakeanyonechange,includingme!

MylastattemptatguiltingsomeoneintoactionwaschidinganeighborfornotrecyclingandIalmostgotpunchedintheface.Obviouslymymethodswerenotworkinginmyfavor.

I discovered that others appreciate if you take the time to explain your mission, its purpose, and how you make it happen for yourself and why that can be a better choice for them, their family and the entire planet.

Peopletrulyrespondtothat,whenyouinvestyourenergyintalkingwiththeminapositivemanner.ThefactthatIhavegottenmyownextendedfamilytostartmakingchangesforthebetterofallisabigdeal;positiveencouragementandeducationisthekeytohavingsuccessinfluencingothers.Thatandbeinghonestwithpeopleaboutmyowneco-shortcomingsasImentionedinmypostPleaseForgiveMeForIAmAnEco-Sinnergoesalongwaytowardshelpingothersmakepositivechangeintheirlives.

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Gift This

Knowsomeonewithapassionateheartthatcouldusealittletacticalguidance?Letthemknowaboutthiswonderfulfreeebookandbesuretovisitallthegreatpeoplewhocontributed.

Ifyoufoundthisebookhelpful,Iwouldlovetohearfromyou.Feelfreetodropmealineanytime.Ifyouparticularlyenjoyedanyoneperson’sstory,besuretoletthemknow.

Supportthisworkbysharingitwithyourfriendsthroughe-mailandsocialmedia.

Givethegiftofsocialtransformation,onepersonatatime.

Thanksforreading!

IhopeyoulearnedasmuchasIdid.

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Contributors

MikeLieberman:UrbanOrganicGardener

LoriAlper:GroovyGreenLivin

EvitaOchel:EvolvingWellness

LeoBabauta:ZenHabits

JeanieWitcraft:MakingLove+Money

JuliaMcGarey:SimplicityinStages

KarenLee:EcoKaren

AndrewOdom:Tinyr(E)volution

AndreaChan:HealthyPeople,HealthyPlanet

RaamDev:RaamDev.com

RickyFerdon:HappinessistheNaturalState

SherryGreens:OneEarthtoLive

TammyMcLeod:AgriGirl

SamSpurlin:SamSpurlin.com

ChrisGuillebeau:TheArtofNon-Conformity

ShannonWhitehead:AllofUsRevolution

MichaelNolan:TheGardenRockstar

MegWolfe:MinimalistWoman

ColleenMadsen:365LessThings

AliDark:WhirledPeas

TodraPayne:HealthyBeautySocial

CourtneyCarver:BeMoreWithLess

JennyMcCutcheon:ExConsumer

MonicaSchrock:LowImpactBetty

KristinGlenn:AllofUsRevolution

SmallFootprints:ReduceFootprints

DavidQuilty:TheGoodHuman

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Credits

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