Chapter 3

Effective Parenting Skills

Learning Essential Questions

1. What skills are needed to be a parent and how are they acquired?

2. What are some effective methods of guiding the behaviors of young children?

3. How can a parent evaluate substitute care?

Unit Vocabulary Accreditation Conscience Deprivation Guidance License

Nurturing Self Discipline

Subsidized Child Care

Additional Assignments

Reviewing the Facts2, 5, 6, 7 10

Thinking Critically1, 2, 3

Discuss with your partner:

Is parenting something that come

naturally or is it learned.

Share with the class

Parenting Requires Understanding of a child’s needs Requires good judgment

when to help, when to back off

avoid pushing a child

change skills as child ages Reasonable expectations

stages they go through

natural behaviors (say no, temper tantrum)

respect the difference among children

Parenting Styles

Authoritarian Parent centered Child has no say

Children obey parents Discipline

Sometime physical “what I say goes”

Very inflexibleall-about-motherhood.com

Parenting Styles

Democratic 50/50 relationship

Discussion on rules Discussion on punishment

Child gets to explain Child has freedom with a

set of rules

parenting-healthy-children.com

Parenting Styles Permissive

Child centered No real rules

Child learns from mistakes No discipline

Consequences of poor behavior is enough discipline

all-about-motherhood.com

Parenting StylesNow it is your turn. You named famous

families the other day. Take those cards and not decide what style of

parenting they use. Tape the card on the board next to parenting style.

When everyone is done, we will discuss if everyone agrees where they are.

Parenting Styles

Most important thing to remember:

Very few parents use one style all the time. Most parents are a combination of styles.

Sometimes they change styles because of situations or people involved.

All styles have advantages and disadvantages.

Tasks of Parenting

MEETING CHILD’S NEEDS Food, clothing and shelter Safety and health Teaching them a language Intellectual growth Teach them to get along with others Provide opportunities to love and show

love

AS YOU ARE WRITING THESE, LEAVE SPACE TO ADD INFO

1. Meeting Child’s Needs

The first one is pretty easy.For numbers 2-6, each group of two will come up with at least 2 examples

of how parents can provide for this need.

When you are done, everyone will share their ideas with the class.

2. Nurturing

This is giving opportunities for encouragement (loving) and enrichment (learning). As a parent, you need to show love, support and concern for your child.

Parents must remove barriers that prevent children from experiences and learning (examples)

2. Nurturing

Some children suffer from deprivation.

What is deprivation?

it has nothing to do with poverty

it has nothing to do with income

It has everything to do with giving a child experiences and not missing the “windows of p\opportunity”.

2. Nurturing

How can parents help to develop thinking skills in their child?

1. Let child do things themselves (no help)

2. Give hints, don’t tell

3. Praise their successes (all good)

4. Give them too much information (details)

Let’s see this in action

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox3kDtM0Jdk

2. Nurturing

How can parents help to build self confidence in their child?

1. Set reasonable goals

2. Be a good role model

3. Respect and love in the air

4. Complete goals and follow through

5. Allow to make mistakes

Let’s see an example

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-CDhWNAJh4

2. Nurturing

Some parents may have trouble showing affection to their child. Why?

Some parents do not like to show affection towards boys. Why

Some parents may be over-protective of their children. Is this good or bad?

3. Communicating Positively

Remember, communication means you are a good listener

who shows respect for their child as well as talking to your

child.

3.Communicating Positively

Tips for good communication

1. Kid words

2. Clear

3. Be positive and polite (not please)

4. Praise

5. Talk not command

6. Interests

And again…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQEM6pqe5Kc

3. Communicating Positively

Time for practice.

How would you say this is a positive way?

Remember that please and thank you do not make it positive.

3. Communicating Positively

Don’t throw the ball?

3. Communicating Positively

Keep your hands off the glass vase. You will break it!

3. Communicating Positively

Don’t spill your milk!

Mommy will be very mad at you.

3. Communicating PositivelyHow many times

have I told you not to leave your toys laying all over the house. Someone

is going to step on one of them and

get hurt.

3. Communicating Positively

Stop pulling the cat’s tail. You will

infuriate her and she will injure your

severely?

3. Communicating Positively

Don’t eat those cookies before dinner! It will ruin your appetite.

3. Communicating Positively

Do not open the door and go outside and play in the street. It can be extremely dangerous

and hazardous to your health and well being.

Think about….A time when you did not behave properly?

Briefly explain what happened

Tell us how people around reacted

Tell us how an adult reacted (parent)

Was that effective in stopping the behavior

Some Examples http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aILxZYr7

J1s&feature=related (car seat)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1ZR4Av-HBI&NR=1 (change dress)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8S9AKb_oM (grocery store)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H30YrFg3rqQ&playnext=1&list=PLC51D728EE4267841 (guitar hero)

Guidance Define?

process of controlling actions of child

giving advice

help understand behavior & consequences Goal?

have child act in a developmentally

appropriate manner/socially acceptable

self discipline How?

use firmness and understanding to teach

behavior control

Remembering that guidance is the big picture…

Why do children need guidance

throughout their life?

1. Help learn to get along with others

2. Learn to handle feelings in an acceptable way

3. Develop positive feelings about themselves

4. Learn moral development (conscience)

Do I discipline correctly?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8hPNRt0UY4&feature=fvwrel

Discipline Define?

small part of guidance

control behavior Goal?

obedience?

acceptable behavior How?

age appropriate

punishment

Punishment Define?

penalty/consequence for misbehavior

small part of discipline Goal?

control behavior How?

individual decision

self esteem of the child is essential

What is the most important word for a parent to remember?

Consistency

What does it mean?

Everyone doing the same thing, the same way, every time!

Why is consistency so important?

Children learn to trust the adults in their life.

Without consistency:

lose trust --- lose confidence --- become

confused --- become insecure --- child will not listen (behave)

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior

Tell child exactly what is expected.

Examples:Toys away

Dishes away

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior

Set a good example.

Children imitate adults.Child learn by being shown.

Examples:LanguageActions

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior

juliecantrell.wordpress.com

Praise appropriate behavior

Positive reinforcementWorks for most childrenBehavior and not child

Praising Behaviors

momsndads.com

pregnancyihub.com

1. Be specific/clear

2. Notice behavior when happens

3. Recognize small steps

4. Help them be proud of themselves

5. Encourage in problem areas

Offering ChoicesChildren do not have good problem

solving skills.

Encourage them to make their

own decisions.

Be sure to offer no more than 2

good choices.

Setting Limits for Children

Why do parents need to set limits?Physical restrictionsRules of behavior

What should limits achieve?Keep children from hurting themselves

Keep children from hurting othersKeep children from hurting property

Setting Limits for Children

mentalhelp.net

Limits should be few.

Limits should be reasonable.

Limits should be clear.

Limits should be repeated often

Setting Limits for Children

As a parent, ask yourself:

Does this still allow child to learn, explore and grow?

Is it fair and age appropriate?

Is it for the good of the child or adult?

Now that you know…

You and your partners will be given a situation. As the parent, you need to set 3 GOOD, AGE APPROPRIATE, well worded

limits for your child.

Think about the rules for setting limits.

Be ready to share your limits with the class.

You have 3 minutes.