Charity Writing 2.0:Bringing your writing to life

Rhetoric• The art of persuasion

• Modes of persuasion: ethos, pathos, logos

Ethos

“If you want to know the difference between me and David Cameron, here’s an easy way to remember it. When it was Murdoch versus the McCanns, he took the side of Murdoch. When it was the tobacco lobby versus the cancer charities, he took the side of the tobacco lobby. When it was the millionaires who wanted a tax cut versus people paying the bedroom tax, he took the side of the millionaires. ”

Pathos

“People [in the North East] go out to work. They love their kids. They bring up their families. They care for their neighbours. They look out for each other. They are proud of their communities. They hope for the future.”

Pathos + ethos

“People [in the North East] go out to work. They love their kids. They bring up their families. They care for their neighbours. They look out for each other. They are proud of their communities. They hope for the future. The Tories call them inhabitants of desolate areas. We call them our friends, our neighbours, the heroes of our country. They are fed up of a government that doesn’t understand their lives and a Prime Minister who cannot walk in their shoes.”

Logos

“He has been Prime Minister for 39 months and in 38 of those months wages have risen more slowly than prices. That means your living standards falling year after year after year. So in 2015 you’ll be asking am I better off now than I was five years ago? And we already know the answer for millions of families will be no.”

Ethos

Our vision is a world where all children and young people have a sense of belonging and are loved and valued. We believe all children and young people have unique potential and that they should have the support and opportunities they need to reach it. Action for Children helps more than 250,000 children, young people, parents and carers through more than 650 projects across the UK. We also promote social justice by lobbying and campaigning for change.

PathosHaving clean clothes, a bed to sleep in and time to spend with friends are things we all take for granted. But many children in the UK can only dream of having these everyday necessities.Life hasn’t been easy for children like Billie, who’s 13 and lives in Swansea with her mum and two sisters.Billie’s dad doesn’t live with them anymore. They had to call the police because he used to hit their mum and shout abuse at her. She became so unhappy she tried to kill herself and ended up in hospital. Billie’s mum doesn’t have enough money to take care of the family, so Billie and her sisters live in dirty, unsafe conditions. There aren’t enough beds so Billie sleeps on the sofa. Unlike most teenagers, Billie’s never had any new stuff and, instead of spending time with her friends, she often has to look after her sisters.

Logos

In the UK:• the number of neglected children has increased in some areas• children who are neglected are likely to be left more than

once• current prevention and treatment programmes for neglect are

not doing enough • over half those children placed in care following neglect

return back home to the same situation.The damaging effects of severe neglect can lead to accidental injuries, poor health, disability, poor emotional and physical development, lack of self-esteem, mental health problems and even suicide.

Exercise

Persuade us to support your charity or a campaign you’re running. Write three paragraphs, using:i) Ethosii) Pathosiii) Logos

“He who wants to persuade should put his trust not in the right argument, but in the right word. The power of sound has always been greater than the power of sense.”

Joseph Conrad

Sentence length“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It's like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals – sounds that say listen to this, it is important.

“So write with a combination of short, medium, and long sentences. Create a sound that pleases the reader's ear. Don't just write words. Write music.”(Gary Provost, 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing)

Sentence length• Keep sentences short

(usually under 30 words)• If you’re using words like

“and” to link phrases, you may be better off starting a new sentence instead

• Vary the rhythm of your writing by varying your sentence length

• Use sentence length to create effects – tension, shock, dynamism

Sentence structure

• You can start a sentence with ‘and’ or ‘but’. • Avoid starting too many sentences with ‘the’ –

it’s very static.• Vary the way you start your sentences – e.g.,

avoid starting them all with the name of your organisation.• Sentence fragments. No problem.• Openings like “It is…” and “There are…” are

weak. Can you rewrite them?

Sentence structure

Try changing the structure to vary the rhythm.

To vary the rhythm, try changing the structure.

Sentence structure

There are many children living in poverty in the UK today.

Many children in the UK today live in poverty.

Sentence structure

BigSoc CEO Dan Wells says: “Carla’s a remarkable woman. We’re lucky to have her.”

“Carla’s a remarkable woman,” says Dan Wells, CEO of BigSoc. “We’re lucky to have her.”

1. Get Set believes that every child deserves a good start in life. Get Set is here to provide it. Get Set currently works with over 60,000 children in 150 towns and cities across the UK.

2. Anyone can become a carer. Around 6,000 people become carers every day. One in eight adults is a carer. It can be a thankless task. It can also be an emotionally draining task.

3. Those small, real-life achievements like making a cup of tea, walking to the shop or answering the telephone are the milestones that mark a stroke survivor’s road to recovery.

4. Orang-utans, which were once found throughout Indonesia and Malaysia, now only survive on the islands of Borneo and Sumatra and could soon become extinct in the wild as their unique rainforest habitat is being cleared to make way for growing palm oil, which is found as an ingredient in everything from Kit-Kats to shampoo.

Get Set believes that every child deserves a good start in life. We’re here to provide it. Today, we work with over 60,000 children in 150 towns and cities across the UK.

Anyone can become a carer. Every day, it happens to around 6,000 people. In fact, one in eight adults is a carer. Caring can be a thankless task – and an emotionally draining one.

Making a cup of tea. Walking to the shop. Answering the telephone. Those small, real-life achievements are the milestones that mark a stroke survivor’s road to recovery.

Orang-utans were once found throughout Indonesia and Malaysia. Now, they only survive on the islands of Borneo and Sumatra – and they could soon become extinct in the wild. Their unique rainforest habitat is being cleared to make way for growing palm oil, which is found as an ingredient in everything from Kit-Kats to shampoo.

“On the page, punctuation performs its grammatical function, but in the mind of the reader it does more than that. It tells the reader how to hum the tune.”

Lynne TrussEats, Shoots & Leaves

Good words

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you're inclined to write ‘very’. Your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

“When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them – then the rest will be valuable.”

Mark Twain

Adjective types to beware

Overblown: innovative, ground-breaking, unique, significant, important, major, leading Obvious: robust, meaningful, real, very realOverused: inclusive, integrated, key, targetedRedundant: totally unique, clear focus, key priority, practical action

Use strong verbs

We try very hard

Smoking causes fatalities

Our campaign is asking for

The incident is still there in the back of her mind

We strive

Smoking kills

Our campaign demands

The incident lurks in the back of her mind

1. Her ideas are highly original and deeply profound.

2. Leading politicians issued a warning that these swingeing cuts could have devastating consequences for essential public services. 3. Unfair trade policies ensure people remain in severe poverty. 4. There are millions of families who are finding it difficult to make their bill payments.

Her ideas are highly original and deeply profound.

Her ideas are highly original and deeply profound.

She raises original and profound ideas.

Leading politicians issued a warning that these swingeing cuts could have devastating consequences for essential public services.

Leading politicians issued a warning that these swingeing cuts could have devastating consequences for essential public services.

Politicians warned that these cuts could devastate public services.

Unfair trade policies ensure people remain in severe poverty.

Unfair trade policies ensure people remain in severe poverty.

Unfair trade policies lock people into poverty.

There are millions of families who are finding it difficult to make their bill payments.

There are millions of families who are finding it difficult to make their bill payments.

Millions of families struggle to pay their bills.

Murder your darlings

“Whenever you feel an impulse to perpetrate a piece of exceptionally fine writing, obey it – wholeheartedly – and delete it before sending your manuscript to press. Murder your darlings.”Arthur Quiller-Couch

Exercise

Write down five (or more) words or phrases that you overuse. Work with a partner to find some alternatives.

This guy again …

“The greatest thing by far is to be a master of metaphor.”

Aristotle

… and this one“They used to say a rising tide lifts all boats, now the rising tide just seems to lift the yachts.”

“If the medicine’s not working you change the medicine … You change the doctor too.”

Imagery

Beware of mixed metaphors: “It took the wind out of our sails, but now we’re back on track and firing on all cylinders.”“Our brand DNA is our lifeblood. It’s at the heart of everything we do.”

Beware of clichés (“dying metaphors”): “A heart of stone”“Mired in poverty”“Thinking outside the box”

Exercise

Use a metaphor or an analogy to explain what your charity does or to illuminate an issue you’re involved with.

You are a writer

A final exercise

Write about your charity using one of the following disciplines:

a) In the form of a fairytaleb) Beginning the first sentence with A, the next with B, and so

on…c) Can you make every sentence a question? d) Haiku (3 lines – 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables)e) Stream of consciousness