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COMMENTARY ON LETTERS INSIDE THE JOURNEY PREFACE

Shaykh Ebrahim and I discussed my third book, Letters Inside the Journey, which I

wrote in 1994. We decided there would be great value in my going back through the

book and adding a detailed commentary. 16 years after having written it I see manymisleading and erroneous concepts which must be addressed in order to put the record

straight, so to speak. Not only will this project be of value to me, but it may be useful

to others in avoiding the pitfalls and potential damage that can occur on the Sufi path.

And most importantly I hope this 2009 commentary will present a correct picture of

the Shadhiliyya, for I now realise that certain aspects of the Shadhiliyya were grossly

misrepresented in the original text of the book.

This is not to say the entire book is chock-a-block full of errors. Far from it! I also see

many valuable insights which could be of benefit to other travellers on the Sufi path.

The format of the original book is quite complex, containing as it does extracts frommy first book (And the Sky Is Not the Limit [1992]), plus commentaries and

footnotes. However, I have decided to rewrite the original text in its entirety and then

at the end of each section add my 2009 commentary.

I will skip the introductions which were written by various people but shall

commence with my Foreword, which is an explanation to the format of the book. The

letters cover a 2-year period from 1990 to 1992.

I thought it would be beneficial to myself and others to use this text as a topic on the

Discussion Board of Zawia Ebrahim. Then, as I complete each section and its

commentary I will paste to the discussion board for further comments, should there be

any!

The original text was first published in 1994 by AS Noordeen in Kuala Lumpur. An

Indonesian translation is due for publication in 2009 by Mizan Publishers, Bandung,

Indonesia.

***


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LETTERS INSIDE THE JOURNEY

Amatullah Armstrong

FOREWORD

And the Sky is Not the Limit An Australian Womans Spiritual Journey Within the

Traditions, told of my first 33 years of journeying towards Islam, then the next 8

years of journeying to the Spiritual Path of Islam (Tariqa) and finally the initial stages

of the endless journeying on that path. In this book,Letters Inside the Journey, I have

endeavoured to look more deeply into various aspects of that Infinite Journey.

A selection of private letters that I wrote to my Spiritual Guide (Murshid) has

been used as a means with which to seek and discover just a few of the abundant

jewels that are contained within the Treasury of the Teaching of the last of theProphets of Allah, Muhammad al-Mustafa May the Blessings of Allah be upon him

and Peace. Interspersed with detailed footnotes and commentary these letters afford

the reader an opportunity to receive, through the Grace of Allah, a hint of the beauty

and power of this Great Teaching.

Every human must make the journey of return to his source and because each

man and woman is unique, his or her journey of return is therefore also unique. The

realisations and knowledge attained by one person are not necessarily those reached

by another. For this reason the spiritual traveller must not try to expect a particular

sequence of events to occur or a succession of wisdoms to be opened to him.

Recorded in the following pages are some of the thoughts, struggles, questions and

experiences of an individual traveller on her journey. These things are not bound to

happen to every traveller, though certain facets of my travelling may be similar to

those of another. Direct spiritual experience cannot be shared, yet, delicate fragrances

from higher realms can, and do, reach sensitive seekers who are sincerely looking for

the Way to travel on their journey. Praise be to Allah.

The dates in these letters have been purposely taken out in order to protect the

reader from building up personal expectations of the time required to traverse

particular stages of the journey. To prevent him from being tempted to experiment

with the Teaching I have also omitted the number of times certain spiritual exercises

were performed. Such experimentation can only lead to confusion and more

deceptions of the ego self. Because this Teaching is sacred its methods should only bepractised under the strict supervision of aMurshid.

However, within this book is one spiritual exercise which contains a safety

factor and can be undertaken, by the genuine seeker of a Spiritual Guide, as a

preparatory step towards encountering his ownMurshid. This is known as al-Asaas,

an Arabic word meaning The Foundation. Starting at the foundation the sincere seeker

can begin the work of clearing away much debris from the lower self, in readiness for

his Journey Home. Al-Asaas should be practised twice daily, in the morning and

evening, with an attitude of respect and dignity, always bearing in mind that this

exercise comes directly from the Sacred Teaching of the Prophet Muhammad May

the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace.

Through the Infinite Grace of Allah the writing of this book has beenundertaken fi sabilillah in the Way of Allah, and in myMurshids words, so that it


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may bring benefit to someone, somewhere, at sometime. All shortcomings, mistakes

and faults are my own.

And success is only with Allah.

Amatullah Armstrong

June 27 1994/ 17 Muharram 1415Queensland, Australia

***


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The Holy Quran is the Word of Allah. The Arabic language is the vehicle which

carries the Word of Allah to mankind. The Word of Allah is beyond words. The Word

of Allah is understood within the polished heart of the purified servant of Allah. The

Heart that point of awareness where Allah is realized in man. AND THE SKY IS

NOT THE LIMIT, P.152

We offered the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they

refused to carry it and were afraid of it; and man carried it. al-Quran 33:72

The Trust carried by man is to fulfil his raison dtre, which is none other than being

Allahs representative on this earth, the khalifah of Allah. To attain such an honoured

position man must become a purified and polished mirror in which Allah is reflected.

In other words, man must become Perfect man if he is to carry the Trust.

Had We sent down this Quran on a mountain, verily thou wouldst have seen it

humble itself and cleave asunder for awe of Allah.al-Quran 59:21The weight of the Trust is immense and the responsibility of carrying it is the only

task to which man should turn in totality. He should struggle with every available

resource to be one of the Trusted Carriers. Every man is born with the capacity to be a

carrier, but, not every man wants or needs to do so. The one who yearns, with the

utmost intensity, to strive for such a perfection, to beautify his soul with the virtues

which will qualify him as a Carrier of the Trust, must seek out and find the one who

dispenses this Trust to mankind. Who is a Dispenser of the Trust?

The Holy Quran was sent down to one man to the Perfect man to the Holy

Prophet Muhammad May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace. The Holy

Quran is the Word of Allah; it is the Final Revelation which gives to man everything

that he needs to enable him to carry the Trust. In the Hadith it is said of the Holy

Prophet: His nature was as the Quran. The Holy Quran and the Prophet

Muhammad give to each of us the means by which we can become worthy of being

Carriers. They teach us and show us how to attain a point of perfect equilibrium, that

God-given equilibrium through which one can reach the supreme rank of being a

khalifah of Allah.

The Living Teaching of the Holy Prophet is transmitted today by his Inheritors. Theseare the Lovers of Allah; those purified ones who have themselves become Trusted

Carriers and Dispensers of the Trust.

The Living Teaching, the Islamic Spiritual Psychological Study of the Self and

Knowledge of Divinity, is called Tasawwuf(Sufism in the West) and the Spiritual

Path within which this Teaching is transmitted is known as a Tariqa. There are many

Turuq (plural oftariqa) and the starting point of each one is the Holy Prophet

Muhammad May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace.

When a man or woman enters a Tariqa he makes an Initiatory Pact of Allegiance with

hisMurshid. This is known as theBayah. At the time of taking theBayah theMurshidrecites this verse from the Holy Quran: Verily they who pledge unto thee


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their allegiance pledge it unto none but Allah. The Hand of Allah is above their

hands. (al-Quran 48:10). This verse is the very essence of theMurshid/muridbond.

By taking theMurshids hand, the muridhas made a covenant with Allah. From this

moment onwards it is his duty to honour that pledge to the death; and beyond. It

takes time for the reality of this Covenant to become firmly fixed in the heart, and the

closer he gets to a true understanding ofThe Hand of Allah is above their hands,the greater will be his love, honour and respect for theMurshid.

Allahs Good Pleasure was on the Believers when they pledged allegiance unto thee

beneath the tree. He knew what was in their hearts and He sent down tranquillity to

them and He rewarded them with a speedy Victory. (al-Quran 48:18)

*

* *

Each muridhas his own unique experience of entering the Tariqa and taking the

Bayah. This is a sacred time; a treasured moment; the first step into Eternal Life.

My Murshid was on the other side of the continent in Perth whilst I was living in

Brisbane. I became initiated into the Tariqa through Bayah Uthmaniyya. It was to

be a further five months before I would actually sit in the Presence of my Murshid to

take bayah at his hand. And I had no idea how that handclasp was to alter me, totally

and forever.AND THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT, p.95.

The spiritual energy, the barakah, of the path is transmitted on the breath of the

Murshid, and it is only through receiving the bayah, the Pact of Initiation, face-to-

face from him that the full power of the Divine Breath can start working within the

murid. TheMurshid, who himself has received this transmission of the breath from

his ownMurshid, then passes the breath to his murids. The breath can be likened to

the yeast which is used in breadmaking. Only a tiny piece is required for the rising

process to begin.

Each human has been allotted his own specific number of breaths which are to be

breathed in this earthly life. When that last breath is breathed life ends. Allah breathed

His Spirit into us and each one of our breaths can take us back to Him. This is themethod of Islamic Spiritual Psychology the Path of Return to Allah. The seeker on

the Path should not inhale or exhale absent-mindedly; every breath should be

associated with an awareness of the Divine Presence.

Within a week of being initiated into the Path I received a cassette from myMurshid

in which he explained to me, in a meticulous and detailed manner, the spiritual work

which I was required to do.

Throughout this collection of letters the reader will gain an understanding of the way

in which the significance of myMurshids breath gradually opened up to me,

revealing itself in a powerful and often overwhelming way. The importance of his


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voice on this first cassette was great, though at the time I certainly did not realize the

fact.

*

**


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LETTER 1

In the Name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

Dear Brother

Peace be upon you and the Mercy of Allah and His Blessings.

Praise be to Allah Who guided me to Islam, Who guided me to your door in

Perth in 1984, and Who has opened for me the door to Guidance.

Brother , your cassette, in which you explained our awrad1, arrived

yesterday. Now, Allah Willing, I will truly work.

1. The spiritual work given to me by my Murshid is called in Arabic wird (plural:

awrad). The wird is a unit of dhikr, constructed to contain in it certain patterns of

knowledge and self awakening. This spiritual work, wird, is given by the Murshid

individually to each murid according to his specific spiritual needs. Once the dhikr

has been given it is entirely up to the spiritual desire and energy of the murid, and it

is at this point where himma manifests itself. AND THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT,

p.125.

Dhikr, which means Remembrance or Recollection of Allah, is the fundamental

method of concentration and inner purification in the Sufi Path. It is through this

Remembrance that the heart of the muridmay, by the Grace of Allah, become

cleansed and fit to contain Him. Allah says: My heavens and My earth contain Menot, but the heart of My believing slave does contain Me, and the Holy Prophet

Muhammed May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace said: There is a

polish for everything to remove rust, and the polish of the heart is the Remembrance

of Allah! The awradactivates certain mechanisms to bring about movement,

revolution and transformation. It is through devotion and dedication to his personal

awradthat the lower self of the muridcan be transformed into his Higher Self. The

awrad, which is based on the essence of the Teaching of the Holy Prophet

Muhammad, consists of repetitions of Divine names, litanies by Masters of the Tariqa

and verses from the Holy Quran. When, on entering a Tariqa, a new muridalready

recognizes the importance of the awradand the seriousness with which it must be

approached and undertaken then many inner barriers are removed, clearing the Pathfor more progress.

Praise be to Allah you are myMurshid. I know this gift from Allah is the

greatest gift to be given to the Sufis!2

2. When Allah Loves someone He gives that person to the Sufis, in order to give to

that person the Way to love Allah in return. These Masters of the Path, the Sufis, have

the means by which the Eye of the Heart, the basirah, can be opened to see the

wonders of Allah. When the reality of Allah is witnessed He is loved with an

Unconditional Love.


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Brother , everything is very clear about our awrad. I have been striving to

learnAyat al-Kursi3

Allah Willing I will soon have it memorized.

3. Ayat al-Kursi (al-Quran, 2:255)

Allah! There is no god but He, - the Living, the Self-Subsisting, Eternal. No slumber

can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there

can intercede in His Presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth

to His creatures as) Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of

His Knowledge except as He Willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and

the earth, and He feeleth no fatigue in guarding and protecting them for He is the

Most High, the Supreme (in glory.) The Holy Quran is the Book of Return. It is the

Book containing everything that man requires to make the Return Journey to Allah.

The recitation of its verses, particularly in the five daily prayers, constitutes anintegral part of a Muslims life. The reciter is given the means to Return to the Source.

However, within the Tariqa this recitation is multiplied many times, so that much of

the murids day and night are devoted to the dhikr. To recite, for example,Ayat al-

Kursi dozens or even hundreds of times during one day is to activate and bring about

astounding alchemical changes within the self of the murid.

And I have memorized the other suras, except the 128th

and 129th

verses of

Surat at-Tauba,4

which Allah Willing I will soon know.

4. (al-Quran 9: 128,129)

Now hath come unto you a Messenger from amongst yourselves: it grieves him that

you should perish: ardently anxious is he over you: to the Believers is he most kind

and merciful. But if they turn away, say: Allah sufficeth me: there is no god but He:

on Him is my trust, - He is the Lord of the Throne of Glory Supreme! As with each

verse of the Holy Quran this particular verse can be a source of constantly new

knowledge. The inner meanings may descend into the heart of the sincere believer

when he approaches the Sacred Words with humility, need and deep love of Allah.

Laqad jaa-akoum Rasuluun min anfusikoum Now hath come unto you a Messenger

from amongst yourselves.

May Allah increase us in knowledge, give us high himma5

and open our

basirah.6

5.Himma is intense yearning for Allah. It is the most powerful energy which man

contains, because on it, on his himma, he is enabled to fly back to his Lord. And the

Holy Prophet Muhammad May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace

said, A man is rewarded according to his himma.


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It is this himma which moves the murid to rise in the early hours of the morning, to

sit in dhikr, to struggle against the bodys desire to sleep and rest and pamper itself,

AND THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT, p.125.

6. When a heart becomes Pure and filled with Goodness. After the black spots have

been removed and no stains remain, then the eye of that heart will slowly open, andthe owner to the heart will begin to See. This inner eye is called al-basirah and with it

one sees deeper than what meets the outer eye. The word basirah comes from the

Name al-Basir which is one of the Beautiful names of Allah. It means He is the One

Who is All-Seeing, Now and Always and Forever. Amatullah Armstrong. THE

WATER OF LIFE, A Traditional Story for Our Time, 1994.


Your murid7

Amatullah

7. Throughout this book we have used the word seeker to indicate the one (male or

female) who has not yet reached his Spiritual Guide, and either the word muridor

traveller for the one who is developing his own self, under the strict direction of the

Murshid, within the Islamic Spiritual Path.

*

**

2009 COMMENTARY

From the outset the Murshid is placed in a far too exalted position. The murid is in

complete awe of the man who she perceives as being perfect. She is seeing him as a

divine being! Such an erroneous view should, ideally, have been squashed at the

outset by the Murshid himself. Sayyiduna Ali (R.A) said that if someone praises you

you should throw dirt in his face! By allowing the murid to regard him as almost

sublime he is in fact feeding his own ego. In a way, this is a form of shirk. Respect,

honour and love of the Shaykh are essential, but exaggerated honour, praise and awe

of the Shaykh are not what the Path is about. Allah is the All-Significant, the One

Worthy of Praise.

The concept that the bayah with a Sufi master is a covenant with Allah is misleading.

The historical event to which this Quranic ayat refers was in fact a political

allegiance, not a spiritual one. In the first days of Islam there was no bayah. The

People of the Bench, the ahl al-suffa, wanted to follow the spiritual teaching of

Rasulullah (SallAllahu alaihi wasalam). That was their intention. So, what was the

necessity for a bayah? Intention is all that is necessary. The idea that a murid is

bound to a Murshid/Shaykh and must honour the bayah to the death and beyond is

erroneous and potentially damaging. Should the murid lose respect and honour for the

Shaykh or should he encounter another Shaykh from whom he wishes to learn or to

whom he feels attracted, he must feel free to move-on. If the murid feels that he/she isirrevocably bound to the Shaykh it may take years for the barrier to eventually fall,


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thereby allowing the murid to move-on. Or that barrier may never fall, and the murid

may remain stuck, unable to progress or develop.

However, the positive aspect of this Foreword and first letter is that, upon entering the

tariqa, the murid immediately dedicates herself to the awrad and the quest for

knowledge. An essential attitude.

*******


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LETTER 2


Dear Brother


Praise be to Allah for the time you have given to listen to me and answer my

questions in our recent phone conversations. Allah Willing I dont ring at I

inconvenient times and Allah Willing I dont interrupt you too much.1

_____________________________________________________________

Here starts the dilemma the murid is filled with spiritual yearning for direct

guidance and true knowledge from the Murshid, yet, the awe in which the Murshid is

held and the murids honour, love and respect for him make the murid sensitive to,

and very aware of, the possibility of overstepping the bounds of correct moralbehaviour, by inadvertently disturbing or interrupting the Revered Guide. The delicate

balance must be found, that point where the hunger for knowledge is satisfied whilst

leaving the Murshid undisturbed! A fine balance indeed!

_______________________________________________________________

So, I thought to write to you about something which is hard to express over the

phone and requires a little time to actually put into words. It basically comes

down to the questions, Am I fooling myself? and Is my lower self deceiving

me?

I have been a very private person for about the past 15 years. I really dont like

socializing. I like living very quietly and spending as much time as possible in

studying Islam and reading about Tasawwuf. I always feel barriers going up

around me when someone is trying to invade my privacy. Our Beloved

Rasulullah May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace said, You

are on the deen2

of your closest friend. And Ibn AtaIllah says in his Hikam,

Do not keep company with anyone whose state does not inspire you and

whose speech does not lead you to Allah.3

________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. The word deen is most frequently translated as religion, though its meaning is muchmore profound than the present day understanding of religion. Whereas a religion is

often considered as a one hour on one day of the week activity, a deen is the life

transaction between Allah and man. And just as life is continuous, so too is the deen,

which should therefore fill each moment of mans life.

3. Shaykh Ibn AtaIllah al-Iskandari (d.1309) was the third Shaykh od the Shadhiliyya

Tariqa. His Hikam (Book of Wisdom) is regarded as the finest expression of the

Teachings of Shaykh Abu-l-Hasan ash-Shadhili. See IBN ATAILLAH, THE

BOOK OF WISDOM, translated by Victor danner, SPCK, London 1979.

p.58.Hikmah Number 43.

___________________________________________________________________


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For a long time I have been asking myself if this need and desire for relative

isolation is in some way a sort of trick of the nafs.4

___________________________________________________________________

4. The word nafs refers to, not only the lower self, but also the stages of the Self

through which the traveller passes on his Journey to the Higher Self. There are sevenstages of the Self which are often referred to as;

i). Nafs al-ammara (the animal self): The (human) soul is certainly prone to evil.

al-Quran 12:53

ii). Nafs al-lawwama (the complaining self): And I do call to witness the self-

reproaching spirit (eschew evil). al-Quran 75:2

iii) Nafs al-mulhama (the inspired Self): By the soul, and the proportion and order

given to it, al-Quran 91:7

iv) Nafs al-Mutmainna (the Self at Peace): (To the righteous soul will be said:) O

(thou) soul, in (complete) rest and satisfaction! al-Quran 89:27

v) Nafs al-Radhiyya (the well-pleased Self): Come back thou to thy Lord, - Well

pleased (thyself), al-Quran 89:28vi) Nafs al-Mardhiyya (the well-pleasing Self): And well-pleasing unto Him! al-

Quran 89:28

vii) Nafs al-Kamila (the Perfect Self): Enter thou, then, among My slaves! al-

Quran 89:29

The muridin a tariqa has taken up the supreme work in life he has pledged to

undertake the Spiritual Journey of return, which is the very reason for his existence

he has started the struggle to transform hisNafs al-ammara into hisNafs al-kamila.

In these letters nafs generally is used when referring to the nafs al-ammara, the lower

self, which the muridis striving to transform.

___________________________________________________________________

Is my nafs telling me, Of course its best for you to be alone. You would

never have yearned for Tasawwufif youd not worked to secure the privacy.

You would not have reached the tariqa had you mingled in the market-

place?5

_____________________________________________________________________

5. In this struggle against the lower self a certain amount of selfishness isnecessary! At first sight this may seem like a contradiction, but, it is obviousthat the murid must protect himself from those outside influences which will

not only distract him from his spiritual work, but which may also pull him

completely away from his individual endeavour. Selfishness or self-

protection- in this case both words amount to the same thing. Besides, a man

truly cannot help others until he has helped his own self.

____________________________________________________________________

Ibn AtaIllah also says, Your desire for isolation, even though Allah has put

you in the world to gain a living, is a hidden passion. And your desire to gain

a living in the world, even though Allah has put you in isolation, is a

comedown from a lofty aspiration.6

And, He who wishes there appear, at a


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given moment, other than what Allah has manifested in it, has not left

ignorance behind.7

_________________________________________________________________

6. The Book of Wisdom, p.47. Hikmah Number 2.

7. The Book of Wisdom, p.51. Hikmah Number 17

_____________________________________________________________________

And in answer to the question, Sayyidi, what does Allah Taala want from

creation, the great Master Sahl at-Tustari replied, The state they now

have.8

____________________________________________________________________

8. To understand this profound statement and to then live every moment of ones life

with such a conviction, is to reach Knowledge of the reality of the Lord and slave

relationship. This state is called taslim Perfect Surrender.____________________________________________________________________

Through the Grace of Allah I am now connected to the Heart Teaching of

Islam, and, Praise be to Allah, I have been given the great opportunity to

devote much of my time to studying the works of Tasawwuf. A certain amount

of privacy is necessary to develop ones self, isnt it? Should I be simply full

of gratitude to Allah Taala for having given me this wonderful opportunity? I

feel that this is the truth of the matter, but truly I often wonder whether or not I

am fooling myself. And when I first spoke to you on the phone you said that

the time I have been given without children is in fact a blessing. But it is only

a blessing if I utilize this time in the correct manner, isnt it?

Allah Willing these words convey what I am trying to express. In a way I

think Ive sorted it out for myself in just writing down these thoughts but

then again that could be another deception!9

____________________________________________________________________

9. Even at this early stage, after being in Tariqa for only one month, the murid is on

the lookout for the deceptive and cunning trickery of the nafs al-ammara.__________________________________________________________________

Praise be to Allah I now have you to talk to, to guide me. Allah Willing I will

phone you after you receive this letter. Brother, yesterday you spoke to me

about Mechanical Worship. A long time ago you sent me a little book

The Naqshbandi Way.10

__________________________________________________________________

10. Sheikh Abdullah ad-Daghistani, THE NAQSHBANDI WAY: A Guidebook for

Spiritual Progress, Sebat Offset Printers, Konya, Turkey

_____________________________________________________________________


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You wrote, To help clean the rust from our hearts.11

_____________________________________________________________________

11. The spiritual work undertaken in the tariqa is purely and simply the polishing of

the heart. Once it has been polished to such a high degree that the Almighty Allah can

be reflected therein then man has arrived at the honoured rank ofkhalifah of Allah.The Holy Prophet Muhammad said, There is a polish for everything to remove rust

and the polish of the heart is the Remembrance of Allah (dhikrullah)

__________________________________________________________________

I had been trying to follow many of the practices in this book before finding

myMurshid. When I read that the People of Determination should not leave

the Sunna prayers12

at all, I then did Sunna prayers always.

__________________________________________________________________

12. Sunna Prayers A fixed number of prayers which, though not obligatory, are

nonetheless recommended to be performed daily.__________________________________________________________________

(I think I wanted one day to be a Person of Determination, Allah Willing!).

I really worry about that Mechanical Worship when the mind wanders

during prayer and I have to keep dragging it back.13

__________________________________________________________________

13. The muridmay strive and struggle to stop the mind from wandering during prayer

and contemplation, but, by his own efforts he will not be able to drag his mind back

to concentration and fixity. This is a delicate mystery, and one over which the murid

will ponder for many, many long years. It is said; No one worships Allah but Allah.

The best we can do is make our intention, at the beginning of the prayer, to turn all

our attention to Allah. Everything else is His Grace.

____________________________________________________________________

Brother, is it right for me to strive to do all the Sunna prayers and

Tahajjud?14

_____________________________________________________________________

14. Tahajjud prayer is prayer performed at night, between midnight and dawn. The

Holy Quran says: Their limbs do forsake their beds of sleep, the while they call ontheir Lord, in Fear and Hope. (32:16). The Holy Prophet Muhammad said: Each

night, when a third of it hath yet to come, our Lord blessed and exalted be He!

descendeth unto the nethermost heaven, and He saith: Who calleth unto me, That I

may answer him? Who prayeth unto Me a prayer, that I may grant him it? Who asketh

My forgiveness, that I may forgive him? This is a powerful means of stifling the

lower self, used as it is to ease and comfort. As soon as a devotee starts rising in the

middle of the night for prayer and supplication, he has made a real and noteworthy

effort in his own personal Holy War against the ugly vices within.

_________________________________________________________________

I really want to, but I fear Mechanical Worship!! May Allah protect mefrom that terrible abyss. Several years ago, when my heart was being pulled to


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Tasawwuf, I read in The Darqawi Way15

that the seeker must persevere

until he finds a Lover of Allah who will guide him.

_______________________________________________________________

15. Shaykh ad-Darqawi: THE DARQAWI WAY, Diwan Press, 1981

_________________________________________________________________

That concept of perseverance, in conjunction with the beautiful Hadith Qudsi,

.and My slave ceaseth not to draw near Me with added devotions of free

will until I love him.,16

filled my heart and pushed me on. Praise be to

Allah.

_________________________________________________________________

16. AHadith Qudsi is a Holy Saying from Allah, which descended upon the Holy

Prophet Muhammad, but is separate from the Holy Quran. My servant draws near

Me through nothing I love more than that which I have made obligatory for him. My

servant never ceases drawing near to Me through supererogatory works until I lovehim. Then, when I love him, I am his hearing through which he hears, his sight

through which he sees, his hand through which he grasps, and his foot through which

he walks. This particularHadith Qudsi is referred to, again and again, in writings by

the Lovers of Allah. It contains many secrets and profound mysteries. See THE SUFI

PATH OF KNOWLEDGE, Ibn al-Arabis Metaphysics of Imagination, William

C.Chittick, SUNY, 1989.

___________________________________________________________________

Brother, Allah Willing I have not taken up too much of your time with this

letter. But, this is ALL I want to do if I cant talk about the Tariqa and the

way to draw nearer to Allah Taala, I dont want to talk about anything!!! My

prayers are always for you.

May Allah bless you and love you and give you Bliss in this life and in the

Hereafter. And may you lead me to Him. Ameen.

Peace be upon you.

Your murid

Amatullah

*

**

2009 COMMENTARY

The Shaykh should be there and available for the murids. The murids are not there for

the Shaykh, to make him feel important, and boost his ego. To be a Shaykh is to

facilitate your murids, not cause unnecessary stress and confusion over trivial matters.

Here is where internet plays a big part. Physical proximity doesnt matter when theinternet is in front of you. Instantly connected!


16/57

A very positive aspect of this letter is that it illustrates how many texts were being

studied, and important extracts being noted. And it was my good fortune to have time

to explore classical Sufic texts. One mistake is thatNafs al-ammara should have been

translated as the commanding self rather than the animal self.Nafs al-haywaniyya

translates as the animal self. However, knowledge of these technical terms is notreally important, except if one is reading through texts and wants to understand

concepts. The journey has little to do with explanations of terminology! In fact, now,

in this era, I believe we actually can do away with the terminology altogether. When I

first read Shaykh Ebrahims book Intent I was really blown away by the fact that he

had explained the entire Sufi journey without using even one word of Arabic, no Sufi

Terminology! Brilliant!

Abu Madyan Shu'ayb, the great Sufi Shaykh of twelfth century North Africa and a

contemporary of Shaykh Muhyi-d-Din Ibn al-'Arabi, used to say to his murids, "Feed

us with fresh meat." He didnt want them to merely relate someone elses experiences

and ideas. He wanted them to speak from their own direct experience and insights. Sothe terminology isnt really important. The direct experience, the tasting is!

I once heard a lovely story about mechanical worship. There was a faqir, sitting

outside the mosque at the time of Subh salat. The faqir was eating cucumbers. As the

Imam walked into the mosque he noticed the faqir, sitting on the earth with his

cucumbers, and reprimanded him for not preparing to pray. Now, it so happens that

on the previous night, the Imam had been deciding whether he would buy some

donkeys for resale. So, as the Imam led the prayer his mind became engrossed in the

buying and selling of these donkeys. Throughout the standing, bowing, prostrations

and dua, the donkeys and the profit he would make on the resale, filled his mind. Yet,

he still led the congregation in prayer!! As he exited the mosque, there was the faqir,

still sitting on the earth, eating his cucumbers. Once again the Imam reprimanded

him! The faqir lazily looked up at the Imam and casually commented: Better a

cucumber breakfast than a donkey prayer! (But I wonder if there is anyone whose

mind doesnt stroll away, up side alleys on donkeys, thinking about cucumber

breakfasts, during prayer!)

Practising methods of silencing internal dialogue are essential.

A person who enters a tariqa and devotes a great deal of time to the spiritual practices

runs the risk of becoming an incredibly boring person to be with! All I want to talkabout is Sufism! Friends depart and relatives keep away! Marriages are put under

great strain, some to such an extent that they break! I now believe that it is totally

irresponsible for a Shaykh to overload a devoted murid with excessive spiritual work!

As we shall see in later letters I was pushed to the limits and beyond.

*******


17/57

Dreams can be of great value on the Sufi Path. The dreams of murids are indications

of their spiritual states and are always to be kept very secret, being related only to the

Murshid who is the interpreter of dreams. He is the one who will reveal the

symbolism within the dream. The Prophet Muhammad (May the Blessings of Allah

be open him and Peace) instructed his Companions to remember their dreams and to

bring them to him for interpretation. A little while after my initiation into the Tariqa Ihad my first dream. It was during the Holy Month of Ramadan. Bushra, said my

Murshid. Good news. AND THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT, p.114

Dreams are Allahs gift to the murid. Throughout these letters there are references to

dreams, which, through private, can on occasion be revealed, with the Murshids

permission, in order to stress the power of the Sufi Teaching.

DREAM

I am in a University. It is a very old University like Oxford or Cambridge. There are

numerous people, scholars, professors, intellectuals who are sitting in groups,

engaged in discussions. Others are working at computers. I attempt to enter several of

the conversations with these so-called learned men, but they tell me that I am silly,

that I wouldnt understand what they are talking about. In an act of defiance I walk

naked down a long cloistered corridor, passing many groups of these intellectuals

who are whispering behind their hands and glaring at me with utter disapproval. They

are disgusted with my behaviour, telling me to behave myself and remember where I

am!!

Then I am on a journey. I am dressed in my normal clothes. I am walking through

buildings, streets, shopping centres, department stores, up and down escalators. I keep

asking people for directions. No one assists me. I then ascend a very, very long

escalator. I emerge onto a windy clifftop like one in the Mediterranean. The wind is

blowing fiercely and the Ocean, which is to the right of me, is immense and grey.

Waves are crashing upon the clifftop and the spray from the waves falls over me.

There are a few desolate houses and there is a lighthouse. I walk towards the houses

and then find myself in narrow, dark alleyways like those in the souk in Tunis. There

are a few old Tunisian men, with magnificent brown wrinkled faces standing at

corners of the alleyways. Silently they direct me along the narrow paths. They pointand tenderly smile. I reach a door and then enter descend a long flight of wooden

stairs. At the bottom is a very tiny inner courtyard. My Murshid comes from a side

door into the courtyard to greet me. He leads me into a small room, like a stable, with

straw strewn on the floor. There are perhaps two or three brothers sitting at the side,

close to the wall. Then my Murshid and I sit in the middle of the floort, cross-legged,

facing each other. He holds out his upturned palms. On them are two pieces of pink

cake. I think to myself that it looks like semolina cake. Then he tells me it is much

better with jam on top. With his fingers he spreads dark crimson jam all over the pink

cake. Then we each eat a piece of cake.

***


18/57

All murids are different and therefore each one has his or her own manner of

approaching the Murshid, much in the same way as the devoted Companions of the

Holy Prophet Muhammad may the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace

approached him. Some felt at ease and relaxed in his Presence whilst others, whose

awe and love of him were so overwhelmingly strong, were spiritually fulfilled simply

by seeing him from afar. When as murid is acutely aware of the reality of this linkbetween the Murshid and the Holy Prophet then a fleeting glimpse of the Murshid or a

word from him can sustain that murid, and inspire him to yearn and struggle in the

Way of Allah.

I wrote very few letters during those first months in the Path and tried to keep my

phone conversations brief, being quite unsure just how much or how little I should

write or say. In those early days my questions to my Murshid were quite broad and

general. I was acutely aware of my ignorance and therefore did not dare delve too

deeply into the complexities, let alone the mysteries, of the Path.

However it was during this period, between the time of Bayah Uthmaniyya and theNight of Bayah five months later, that I first experienced the power of the dhikrullah.

My initial taste of this overwhelming spiritual energy came upon me without the

slightest forewarning. Quite suddenly I was engulfed by a wave of barakah, spiritual

energy, which left me dazed, empty, floundering, and somewhat frightened. I clung to

the Silsilah, the spiritual chain of our tariqa, reciting those Blessed names over and

over again, trying to prevent myself from being washed away in the deluge.

The following letters reveal the gradual progress of the murid moving along the Path

to Knowledge of Allah, a journey regularly punctuated with direct spiritual

experiences, the intensity of which were ever-increasing.

***

The five months passed, during which time I spoke frequently with my Murshid in

Perth. I turned myself totally towards the work which had been given me and longed

for the day when he would cross the continent to honour my home with a visit. AND

THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT, p100.

Books cannot convey the profound nature of the Murshid. Words can simply act as

signposts or indicators, for as the Lover of Allah, Shaykh Ibn al-Arabi said: a sign is

sufficient to him who attains.

Before phoning him I would begin to get agitated, my breathing would become tight,

my nerves would tingle and my sight start to blur. Then I would hear his voice and Id

be clutching the phone so tightly, shaking from head to foot, desperately trying to take

in and absorb every precious word that he said. IBID, p 108


19/57

The day finally dawned when I was to once again meet my Murshid, in the physical

realm, and take basyah at his hand.

The Presence of my Murshid in Brisbane was immediately apparent to me. Without

any outside indication I knew within my heart that he had arrived. Somehow, theatmosphere seemed different, though I cannot say how this was. He is here, I know

he has arrived. And, early the next morning he phoned me. IBID p. 101

During the above mentioned phone conversation my Murshid said something which

was to haunt me for many months to come. He said, in reference to the telephone,

We can have other forms of communication.

I sat in his Presence and took Bayah at his hand, and received the direct transmission

of the Breath.

As he [my Murshid] drove away from my home on that night I simply wanted to

pick up my subhah and follow him. I didnt start walking, but I did start phoning him

and when we talked I had no idea how much or how little time had passed. How many

years had I been holding all of this inside? So many words poured out. My letters to

him were long and frequent. The written words also poured out. Written words and

spoken words. IBID p.103.

***


20/57

LETTER 3


Dear Brother


Praise be to Allah, you are safe. May Allah protect you always.

You once said to me on the phone that we could have other forms of

communication, other than the phone. I yearned for such a communication

last Sunday when you were in hospital.1

_____________________________________________________________________

1. Two months after having taken Bayah my Murshid was involved in a car accident,and as he lay in hospital, thousands of miles away, I truly yearned for this other form

of communication. These were early days as his murid and, even though I wished to

phone the hospital, I felt perhaps it was not the correct thing to do. So I sat and made

dua (supplication) to Allah to protect my Murshid and keep him safe.

Thank you for all your dua were his first words to me. I was overwhelmed because

I thought no one knew of my prayers. Here was the proof that the dua always reaches

the one for whom it is made! Here was one of those other forms of communication.

____________________________________________________________________

With you as my Murshid, Allah Willing, one day I will be able to purify my

inner self enough for such a communication to take place! My need for my

Murshid is so immense. Hearing your voice yesterday was like The Ear of

Certainty!!!2

___________________________________________________________________

2. In Note 3, Letter 2 we quoted those verses from The Holy Quran which indicate

the seven stages of the self. These stages are also referred to, in the Holy Quran and

the hadith, as Islam, Iman, Ihsan, Ilm al-yaqin, Ayn al-yaqin, Haqq al-yaqin, Islam

(istislam):i) Islam is to declare that there is no god, only Allah, and that Muhammad is the

Messenger of Allah; to say the prayers, to pay zakat, to fast during Ramadan

and to perform the Pilgrimage, if one is able. (Hadith)

The desert Arabs say, We believe. [amana]. Say, Ye believe not, but

rather say we submit [aslama] for the faith [iman] hath not yet enetered into

your hearts. (al-Quran 49:14)

ii) Iman is to believe in Allah, His angels, His Books, His Messengers, fate and

the Hereafter. (Hadith)


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Each one [of the men of faith] believeth in Allah, His angels, His books, and

His Messengers. (al-Quran 2:285)

iii) Ihsan is to worship Allah like you see Him, and though you do not see Him,

be certain that He Sees you. (Hadith)

Verily, in Rasulullah, ye have a beautiful example (al-Quran 33:21)

iv) Ilm al-yaqin The Knowledge of Certainty. This comes from hearing about

the Fire of Truth.

v) Ayn al-yaqin The Eye of Certainty. This knowledge comes from seeing the

light of the Fire with the inner eye, ther basirah.

Musa said to his household: Verily beyond all doubt I have seen a fire. I will

bring you tidings of it [i.e. ilm al-yaqin] or I will bring you a flaming brand

that ye may warm yourselves [ayn al-yaqin]. (al-Quran 27:7)

vi) Haqq al-yaqin The Truth of Certainty. To be consumed by the Fire. To

become one with Reality.

But when he [Musa] came to the fire, a voice was heard: O Musa! Verily I

am thy Lord! Therefore (in My Presence) put off thy shoes: thou art in the

sacred valley Tuwa. (al-Quran 20:11,12)

vii) Islam the very essence of Islam is istislam, which is going to meet the

Divine Will in utter compliance.

Behold! His Lord said to him [Ibrahim]: Surrender! (aslim), he said I have

surrendered (aslamtu) to the Lord of the Worlds. (al-Quran 2:131)

In this letter, the Ear of Certainty is an allusion on my part, to the above mentioned

three degrees of certainty.

_________________________________________________________________

With unspeakable gratitude to Allah for this gift of the Path.


Your murid

Amatullah

*******

2009 COMMENTARY

My friends, I know this book is a bit tiresome but I think it may be useful, with this

new commentary. So do bear with me!!


22/57

Looking back through this book I am amazed and irked by the attitude I had towards

the murshid: speaking of his almost divine breath and his perfection! It is bordering

on shirk! And I was never warned that such an attitude was damaging to myself, and I

was too blind to see my own idol worshipping. Theres no point in stating this point

over and over again in this 2009 commentary. It continues and grows throughout the

entire book! We no longer have space on this planet earth to accommodate iconic SufiShaykhs. We need teachers who are firmly grounded, willing to get their hands soiled

with manual labour if the moment requires such an action, teachers who give every

moment its due and regard themselves as insignificant.

It can be somewhat dangerous to publish ones autobiography, particularly when

dealing with ones inner journey. We are in constant change and growth and what we

were 15 years ago we are no longer. (Allahs Blessings are Infinite!) To keep a

journal is constructive but to have it published is another thing entirely. You run the

terrible risk of influencing other people with your misguided views, hence the

necessity to put things right.

Dreams contain messages to the dreamer, the symbols relate to him, not to someone

else. The dreamer should interpret his own dream, read the symbols and follow the

narrative of the dream. Its not a good idea to put the private world of your dreams in

print. In fact, it is yet another trick of the self wanting to claim significance. I cannot

see how the above quoted dream could be of any possible use to anyone.

And so to the question of the awrad! I was overloaded with dhikr to the point of

physically collapsing under the strain. Was it barakah or was it exhaustion? But the

point that has to be kept in mind is that I willing chose to do this, to undertake the

excessive work and to struggle on. My soul demanded it. I dont regret having spent

those physically painful years in mujahada, spiritual endeavour. Each experience,

each moment is a stepping stone to the next experience and moment. For me it was

necessary. Hopefully not too many others need travel the same sort of route.

*******

Just a brief word for any new friends on Facebook who are reading this topic. Here on

the Discussion Board I am reproducing the text from my 1994 book Letters Inside

the Journey and adding a new 2009 commentary in order to clarify and correct

certain points. Seeing things in a new light, so to speak.


23/57

LETTER 4


Dear


Praise be to Allah and Eternal Blessings and Peace upon our Prophet

Muhammad, the light whose shadow the things are.1

_________________________________________________________________

1. These words are from a poem in Praise of the Prophet by Fakhruddin Iraqi._________________________________________________________________

On the night you had your accident, and for about a fortnight after it, I was

quite bereft and felt helpless and inadequate. In my heart I was making dua2

for you almost constantly, but that just didnt seem enough.

__________________________________________________________________

2. Dua is the private and personal supplication of the slave to his Lord. YourLord hath said, Call upon Me and I shall answer you. (al-Quran 2:260).

Call upon Allah, or call upon Rahman: By whichever name ye call upon

Him, (it is well): for to Him belong the Most Beautiful Names. (al-Quran

17:110). This personal form of prayer gives to the worshipper the opportunity

to pour out his heart, expressing his longings, his fears, and his intense need of

his Lord. In so doing man can rid himself of accumulated poisons and

emotional debris which block the celestial channel between himself and Allah

Almighty. Sitting, with head bowed and palms upturned in an attitude of

readiness to receive the barakah from above, man may become a symbol, not

only of spiritual poverty but also one of supreme trust.

___________________________________________________________________

What more could I do? It sounds pretty strange, but all my dhikr and prayer Idid with the intention that if any barakah was coming to me, for it to go to you

instead!! It sounds arrogant a murid wanting her barakah to go to her

Murshid but truly I had no pride in this just a real need to do something for

you.

Did I do something that was totally lacking in abad? I dont know! But, Praise

be to Allah, you are now well.


Your muridAmatullah


24/57

_____________________________________________________________________

Much of the higher teaching in Tariqa takes place in the murids dreams when he

will be given indications or instructions. Frequently my Murshid was with me in my

dreams telling me things of immense importance. AND THE SKY IS NOT THELIMIT, p.114

The problem of adab, moral courtesy, arose very early in my time as the murid of my

Murshid. The male and female relationships of Islamic Sharia is well defined, and

from what I had observed on my travels in Muslim countries, quite often it is

incredibly strict. For a Western woman who has been used to mingling with people,

both male and female, this aspect can cause a great deal of strain. IBID, p.102

Many of the letters collected in this book bear witness to just how great this dilemma

was for me!

***


25/57

LETTER 5


Dear


Yesterday morning I had a very fleeting dream. Within this dream you told

me to phone you at 2 oclock in the afternoon, as you wished to speak to me.

Thats why I rang yesterday. And, you DID want to speak with me about my

awrad!1

_____________________________________________________________________

1. One of these other forms of communication has just occurred between the

Murshid and murid, though, at this very early stage the murid may find it all tooincredible to believe and as a consequence will regard the incident as a mere

coincidence!

_____________________________________________________________________

I told you about the harrowing time I had during the two weeks after your

accident. On one of those mornings when I was feeling really dreadful I was

sitting on the front verandah, staring in front of me. Then I realized I was

actually staring at something. A shaft of sunlight had penetrated the dark

undergrowth of the garden just in front of the verandah, and at the point where

the light fell on a fern was written, in Arabic script ALLAH.2

__________________________________________________________________

3. We shall show them Our signs on the horizons and within themselves, until itis clear to them that this is the Truth. (al-Quran 41:53).Within this Spiritual

Journey the traveller firstly makes the voyage in the universe ( Sayr-i-

Afaqi), observing Allahs signs on the horizons, then he makes the voyage

within the self (Sayr-i-Anfusi), reading the signs within his own self. The

Holy Prophet Muhammad May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and

Peace ascended to the Divine Presence during his Miraj after having been

shown everything about the world. He then left his own self and entered the

realm of Absolute Truth. The Prophet Muhammad is our beautiful example,and if we sincerely yearn to reach Allah then we must follow in his footsteps.

_____________________________________________________________________

Praise be to Allah. I have been reading William Chitticks book on Shaykh Ibn

al-Arabi The Sufi Path of Knowledge. What an incredible book! Its

taking me ages to read. After every couple of paragraphs my head starts to

whirl and spin! There is SO much I want to talk about in this book. Allah

Willing in the future I will be able to sit with you and learn. Before you

became my Murshid, during those years when I was reading about Tasawwuf,

I truly thought that I wasnt qualified to even consider being in a Tariqa. I usedto read about people who would attach themselves to the periphery of the


26/57

Tariqa so that they could benefit from the barakah3

and this even seemed

like an impossible dream for me.

_____________________________________________________________________

4. Barakah is a subtle spiritual energy which flows through everything, but isstrongest within the human. The more purified the human becomes the greaterthe flow of barakah. Overpowering barakah can be experienced in sacred art

and sanctified people, all of which are theophanies, revealing and manifesting

the Divinity here on earth.

_____________________________________________________________________

But now that all of this has happened to me I find myself wanting, wanting,

wanting!!!! When you were with us on the night of bayah it was like an

indication to me of what lies ahead. Sitting in your company was astounding,

and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life in such company; withthe Lovers of Allah.

4

_____________________________________________________________________

4. Man is on the deen of his closest friend, says an Hadith; and it is not easy to

become a Perfect Man, says Ibn al-Arabi, it is only possible to find a Perfect man

and hold onto his hand and serve him. And Shaykh Jalal-ud-Din Rumi says, Do not

look at vessels. Dive into the sea of meanings! Perhaps you will see Me [Allah] in the

company of the Sufis.

__________________________________________________________________

The period of your illness is a great trial for me. Ive been questioning myself

about so many aspects. Adab5

has been a worry to me

_____________________________________________________________________

5. Adab is right behaviour or courtesy: spiritual coutesy of the way. Each moment,

each situation, has its particular adab: right courtesy with ones own self, right

courtesy with creation, and right courtesy with Allah and His Messenger. The one

who know Allah (arif) sees things as they are in there reality. He has discernment and

therefore is able to observe the right behaviour which each moment demands. And it

has been said by the Lovers of Allah of the Sufi Path that all Tasawwuf is courtesy.

The one with adab is he who has constant and perfect awareness of Allah. His heart isalways connected to his Lord, at all times and in all situations. That is perfect adab.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace

said, I was sent to complete the noble (beautiful) character traits for humanity and

Allah says in the Holy Quran, regarding the Holy Prophet Muhammad: And thou

(standest) on an exalted standard of character. (68:4).

The Sufis follow in the footsteps of the Holy Prophet Muhammad May the

Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace and so Tasawwuf is all courtesy and

adab.

_____________________________________________________________________

Ive read about adab between Murshid and murid, but that is always withbrothers. Ive been following my heart with adab, but I know my heart is so


27/57

covered with rust that its probably misguiding me. Please forgive me if I am

guilty of a lack of adab. I always make dua for Allah to guide me to correct

adab with my Murshid.

And I find it really difficult to bear the fact that you are in pain, yet, when I am

in pain I never ask Allah to stop the pain and even tough I use various

medicines to help remove the cause of the sickness I do not ask Allah toremove it even though it is permissible to do so. But, Allah Willing, your

pain soon eases. And Allah Willing this letter hasnt tired you. I feel that

perhaps I do tire you when I speak with you by phone.


Your murid

Amatullah

***

2009 COMMENTARY

The footnotes are helpful in these letters with the explanations of adab etc. Even in

these early stages I was aware of the concept of correct moral courtesy (seeing things

as they are and giving everything its due). That is the essence our journey from

immaturity to maturity, from being here to get to being here to give, what we now

refer to as transactional correctness. This is the underlying theme of the classic Sufic

texts. But in those texts the theme is often clothed in a terminology which is no longer

necessary for us. We are living in an era when elitism and exclusiveness are

hindrances to ones development. Sufi terminology can get in the way!

Looking back at these letters I am now aware that my obsession with correct adab

with the Murshid, was a hidden method of seeking significance. I seem to have

wasted a lot of time and energy pondering over this aspect. Adoration of the

Murshid has been discussed in earlier notes.

Here I will insert an extract from my latest book The Lamp of Love. I think it

illustrates an opening of awareness, on my part, that we are here to give not to

get.

***

On the plane journey to Brisbane I reflected upon my months in Pakistan. And Iquickly realized that each day of life as a traveller in the Subcontinent had brought

with it a growing awareness of a previous inner imbalance. Vital qualities had been

absent in my life prior to Pakistan, the quality of compassion, which is the very heart

of Islam and that of love, the essence ofTasawwuf. The more contact I had with the

Pakistani people the more I came to understand just how meagre had been my

compassion and love for Allhs humanity throughout the years in my first tariqa in

Australia when I had devoted myself almost entirely tozikrandfikr. But, perhaps this

is as it should be because Pakistan was destined to be the earthly setting for this

particular awareness to unfold.

Pakistan ripped me apart and opened me up to an inflowing and an outpouring.

Love flowed to me from so many people. And I reciprocated with a great outpouringof love and compassion for them. Everywhere I went I encountered raw, beautiful,


28/57

sad, joyful, exultant, desolate, dignified, impoverished humanity. Pakistan changed

my entire life. Sufism had to be a dynamic reality. It had to be lived.

***

What is it exactly about the Murshid that is causing so much worry and confusion to

the beginner on the Spiritual Path. The Murshid as a Man. Yes. But, with a difference.

What is this difference? The difference between your Murshid and every other man

you have ever encountered is his Perfection. Perfection? In the words of Shaykh Ibn

al-;Arabi: The Perfect Man is such a pure, clean, absolute mirror, that Allah, Who is

Absolute Beauty, sees His Ipseity unconditionally therein (Kernel of the Kernel)

AND THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT, p.144


29/57

LETTER 6


Dear


Praise be to Allah and Eternal Blessings and Peace upon our Beloved

Rasulullah.

I have been thinking, as I always do, about our little talk this morning. What a

wonderful invention is the telephone! There are many things I would like to

write down, Allah Willing, in a later letter: but Ive thought about the way I

get agitated and spacey before I talk with you. Im still so totally

overwhelmed about being in the tariqa, and I know this is the greatest gift

from Allah. Always in my heart I knew you were of great importance to me.The first time I read Ibn AtaIllahs Do not keep company with anyone

whose state does not inspire you and whose speech does not lead you to

Allah I thought that you were the one whose state would inspire me and

whose speech would lead me to Allah. And when I read the beautiful saying of

Rasulullah May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace When they

are seen Allah is remembered, it is you I think of.1

___________________________________________________________________

1. When the Prophet Muhammad May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and

Peace was asked who are the Truthful Ones, he replied that they are the ones who

when they are seen, Allah is remembered. As was stated earlier, it takes time for the

murid to even begin to comprehend the import of the quranic verse: The Hand of

Allah is above their hands. The meaning of this verse is indeed a mystery, a secret

which the murid will continually yearn to penetrate, but which will remain elusive.

This and many other aspects of the journey are encompassed in the words of Abu

Bakr Siddiq May Allah be pleased with him the Beloved Friend of Rasulullah:

Inability to attain comprehension IS comprehension.

_____________________________________________________________________

Praise be to Allah. And when finally I saw you again after 6 years, and I sat

with my Murshid, it was like an incredible dream. Is this really happening tome?

I know there is a true love and respect between Murshid and murid, but also

there is a great awe from me because you have travelled the Path and you are

the most important person in the world to me. You said I shouldnt get

agitated when I speak with you, but how can I not get agitated? You are the

only person who speaks the Truth to me and that is quite agitating!!! And

after Ive spoken with you I think Im even more spacey than before!!! Then

the agitation subsides and I just sit with a great sweetness flowing in me.

Praise be to Allah. In The Book of Strangers2

Ian Dallas (Shaykh Adbul-

Qadir as-Sufi) mentions something similar, about the sensation he experiencedwhen in close proximity to his Shaykh.


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____________________________________________________________________

2. Ian Dallas, THE BOOK OF STRANGERS, SUNY, 1988.

____________________________________________________________________

My sensation seems to have nothing to do with actual physical distance itseems to me to be much more subtle than that! The memory of the serenity

and intensity of the night I took bayah fills my eyes with tears. And, as I said

to you its fairly strange to speak with someone knowing that he knows the

dreadful mess of your inner-self!!!!3

_____________________________________________________________________

3. Yet another instance when the murid does not really understand the present

situation. He may have read how the Murshid possesses powers of mind-reading,

heart-reading and insight into future developments within his murids; powers which

fully qualify him as the Physician of souls, but, reading about something and knowing

that same something with certainty are two completely different things. Throughoutthe Journey there is a beautiful unfolding of, and a gradual awakening to, the spiritual

gifts which have been bestowed upon the Murshid by Allah

_____________________________________________________________________

May Allah love you. Ameen.


Your murid

Amatullah

***

The Murshid may at times appear to be ruthless and harsh. He must say things which

seem to cut deeply and hurt as he attacks the lower self of the murid, who is then

thrown into utter confusion. From within the chaos the murid is enabled to see certain

base character traits and having recognized them as negative and ugly elements he can

then make war.

[The murid who craves gentleness from the Murshid should bear in mind thosebeautiful words of Jalal-ud-Din Rumi: Do not imagine that his severity is the

opposite of his gentleness behold the unity of these two in their effects!]

During a phone conversation my Murshids words hit their mark, throwing me into

turmoil and causing me to look much more deeply inside myself. Recalling that

incident I now realize that in reality my Murshid did not actually say anything hurtful.

He simply was bringing out of me the base character traits which were so deeply

hidden. His words were quite straightforward and gentle. The guilt and fear within

myself was receiving them as words of criticism and pain.

***


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The alchemy is a painful process, but the Murshid is the master of spiritual alchemy

and you have handed over your will to him. The journey is long and it requires long

and patient work and struggle. AND THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT, p.115


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LETTER 7


Dear


Thank you from my heart for all the time you take to talk with me on the

phone. You spoke about the length of time required for spiritual maturity to be

developed and attained. Sometimes I think Ill need one hundred years to start

maturing not ten years!!! Today, the extent of my own spiritual immaturity

seems to have hit me full-on in the solar plexus. I think that the snake between

my sides1

is far, far bigger than your other murids.

____________________________________________________________________

1. This is reference to the story about Shaykh Alawi, the great Algerian Lover ofAllah, who as a young man used to charm snakes. His own Shaykh told him that if he

could charm the snake between the two sides of his body, i.e. His lower self, then he

would indeed be a sage. See Martin Lings, A SUFI SAINT OF THE TWENTIETH

CENTURY: SHAIKH AHMAD AL-ALAWI, Allen and Unwinj, 1973, p.52.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad May the Blessings of Allah be upon him and Peace

said, The worst enemy you have is [the nafs] between your sides.

People of the Path know that from within the Tradition things can be viewed from

different angles. From the Shariah viewpoint; from the Tariqa viewpoint and from

the Haqiqah viewpoint. Shariah Sacred Law; Haqiqah Inner Reality; Tariqa the

means to travel from Shariah to Haqiqah. As with the Holy Quran and with the

Hadith literature there are inner and outer meanings waiting to be penetrated and

unveiled. The worst enemy you have is [the nafs] between your sides. Your lower

self is an enemy to your Higher Self; OR the worst enemy to you (i.e. you as an

individual; a separated and scattered mass of matter which has lost its Unity) is the

Secret, the reality, which is contained deep within your Higher Self. For if the reality

of your Secret is unveiled, then the you which is distanced from your Lord will be

annihilated!

_____________________________________________________________________

Today I feel as though I havent even commenced the struggle with my nafs. I

feel as though I dont deserve even one hour of sleep at night: and I thought I

was struggling by getting six hours sleep!! And, I feel that Im one of your

troublesome murids with all my questions and concern over my physical state.

Allah Willing, I will soon discover some sincerity in my heart and truly start

to struggle, and Allah Willing I will one day start to act.

Thank you, for everything. For your words, your time, your love. Praise be to

Allah, you are my lifeline.


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Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad May the Blessings of Allah be upon him

and Peace said, He who acts upon what he knows, Allah will give him what

he doesnt know.2

_____________________________________________________________________

2. In the phone conversation I had with my Murshid he elaborated upon the hadith,and in so doing, emphasized a particular aspect which was lost in the above

translation. He said: He who acts upon what he knows, Allah will make him inherit

that which he does not know. He stressed the aspect of inheritance. Only members

of a family are eligible for inheritance.

By loving our Beloved Prophet Muhammad more than anything, by meticulously

following his perfect example, by applying oneself with total sincerity to the deen of

Islam and by striving to do ones utmost to observe the nobility of his Great Teaching,

one can become worthy of being a member of his family. To such a believer will be

given his inheritance.

There is a kind of paradise called the paradise of heritage (jannati-wirathat), which is

the paradise of the praiseworthy disposition, the attainment of which may be achieved

through perfect observation in following our Prophet.

_____________________________________________________________________

And say My Lord, increase me in knowledge!3

_____________________________________________________________________

3. High above all is Allah, the King, the Truth! Be not in haste with the Quran

before its revelation to thee is completed, but say, O my Lord, increase me in

knowledge. (al-Quran 20:114)

This dua, My Lord, increase me in knowledge!, should be constantly upon the lips

and within the hearts of all those who strive to be freed from the passions of the lower

self. And once having been freed the Gnostic will then ceaselessly supplicate; My

Lord, increase me in knowledge!, because now he will truly understand that the

Journey upon which he began, in reality has no end. Allah is Infinite. Knowledge of

Allah must therefore also be infinite. An endless trajectory into the Unknown, whose

horizons forever hold the promise of more and more and more sources of knowledge.

_____________________________________________________________________

Your murid,

Amatullah

*******

2009 COMMENTARY

At the beginning of this section there is a quote from And the Sky is Not the Limit.

I look at those words now in 2009 and say Astaghfirullah! We have been

brainwashed into believing every Sufi Master is perfect. We study the classic texts,written at a time when, no doubt, there were many luminous figures in the Sufi arena.


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The times of Shaykh Ibn al-Arabi, Shaykh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani, Mevlana Jalaluddin

Rumi, Shaykh Abul Hasan ash-Shadhili. And we then start yearning to make

connection with masters of the same eminence, in the 20th/21

stcenturies. And many of

us become blind, blinded by our own misconceptions, our own expectations. In so

doing we are not only damaging ourselves but also the other person who we are

placing on an unreachable pedestal! Semi-divine! No doubt there also are amazingspiritual teachers in the 21

stcentury and there are innumerable sincere seekers. Just

click a key on your laptop and voil at your fingertips are answers to a million

questions and access to spiritual masters.

What a blessing that our perspectives change with time and maturity!

One thing that has struck me when reading these letters is the amount of reading I did

in those early days. At that time I didnt have computer or internet, but I did have an

extensive library of books on Tasawwuf. (A positive aspect is that the Murshid had a

Sufi book shop!) So, anyone who is reading this commentary, consider your self very

lucky. Voil. Its all there for you sufic texts and spiritual teachers on the internet!

And its time for the litist attitude to be swept away and out of spiritual circles. If

you are blessed to be in a circle you have the duty to take what you have gained and

spread it wherever and whenever you can. Theres no more time or space for the

semi-divine spiritual master to sit with his devotees around his ankles, holding onto

the hem of his shirt. Yes, serve the spiritual master by all means and serve all

humanity. The true spiritual master of the 21st

century will be a man of action, a man

involved with dunya, out there to help wherever possible, a man attentive to the

requirement of the moment: a man who sees things as they are and gives everything

its due.

*******


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LETTER 8


Dear


After speaking with you last Saturday evening, when you broke off your

contemplation to come to the phone, I was totally stunned. I felt so totally out

of my depth on the phone; I felt totally clumsy. I desperately never want to

interrupt you. Then, after our conversation I literally couldnt stop crying for

days. But I still dont know why I was crying! In a way I felt very similar to

how I felt after the Bayah.1

_____________________________________________________________________

1. On the Night of Bayah when I sat with my Murshid, after having not seen him forover five years throughout which time I could never recall his face, I experienced

something so ravishingly beautiful. Before I touched his hand he glanced at me and I

looked at him and then as soon as the bayah had been sealed I once again looked at

him. He was different. Somehow he was more beautiful, glowing, radiant. He had

changed, or was it that I had changed? Something so pure had occurred as he was

reciting the Blessed Silsilah of our Tariqa. What had descended on Murshid and

murid? I did not know. AND THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT, p.121

On occasions the murid may be truly blessed, in a manner that he at once

comprehends, by being given a radiant glimpse of insight into an Hadith or verse from

the Holy Quran. One such occasion occurred when reading the following Hadithm

whose meaning shone an entirely new light upon my experience during the Night of

Bayah.

And the Prophet said also; While the people of Paradise are in their enjoyment a

light will shine upon them and, raising their heads, they will see their Lord has looked

down upon them from above. He will say: Peace be upon you, O people of Paradise!

He will then look at them and they will look at Him, and they will not turn aside to

any of their enjoyment so long as they are looking at Him until He veils Himself from

them, though His Light remains.

And again, the Prophet said: By Him in whose hand is my soul, no gift of His is

more precious than this looking upon Him! and when the vision fades, and they havecome back to themselves and return to their celestial household, their companions in

delight observe that they are now more beautiful than they were before. Gai Eaton,

ISLAM AND THE DESTINY OF MAN, Allen and Unwin, 1985, p.241

_____________________________________________________________________

The tears wouldnt stop. Allah Willing my tears were because of yearning, but

something inside me keeps telling me that I was crying for myself! crying

for my out-of-control nafs.2

_____________________________________________________________________

2. This is early in the Journey. The murid is still very spiritually immature, and ofnecessity, this immaturity makes him keenly aware of his ignorance. And indeed, this


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is a good sign! For to have even an inkling that one understands any of this Great

Mystery, at such an early stage, is to be truly steeped in ignorance! Due to this

immaturity, combined with a real fear of misinterpreting the Murshids words (and

incidents connected to him), I immediately thought that the floundering and clumsy

sensation experienced during this decisive conversation was my out-of-control nafs.

The murid must always be on guard, never allowing his lower self to mislead him intobelieving that his experiences are profound mystical occurrences. Some Westerners

are drawn to the Sufi Path expecting to find miracles and hoping to experience

unearthly visions. Such expectations and hopes are the symptoms of a partial

ignorance of the reality of the Spiritual Journey. The Sufi Path is based on slaveness,

and knowledge of the moment, and above all else, love of Allah. If the murid sets out

with a relatively clear idea that celestial visions and unearthly voices are merely

seductions to lead him astray and provoke his fall from the Way, he will be able to

turn to the spiritual work with sincere and pure intention. He must be seeking nothing

but Allah and His Good Pleasure.

_____________________________________________________________________

May Allah give you bliss in this life and in the hereafter and may you guide

me to Him. Ameen.

Praise be to Allah and Eternal Blessings and Peace upon Muhammad.


Your murid,

Amatullah

***

The golden thread would weave its way from book to book, Master to Master, and I

would try to follow is as I journeyed through the Great Teaching. AND THE SKY IS

NOT THE LIMIT, p. 128

The murid must be prepared to make great sacrifices as he travels on the Spiritual

Path. He must strive to willing give his time, his efforts, his wealth and his physicalhealth. He must be prepared to sacrifice everything in an endeavour to arrive at his

Goal, which is Allah. Every spare minute should be devoted to reading al-Quran,

studying Hadith literature, meditating on the works of the Lovers of Allah, sitting in

dhikrullah, or contemplating the Murshids words. His efforts should be totally

directed to the spiritual work, therefore he must be attentive, not allowing these

priceless struggles to be diverted to lesser goals. His material wealth should be

regarded as a gift from Allah through which he can advance along the path. Money to

purchase books of knowledge; money to phone his Murshid; money to spend on his

brothers and sisters; money to help spread the Teaching via his tariqa. And he should

be prepared to subject his body to the strain and pain which are an inevitable part of

this struggle against the lower self.


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The Sufi Teaching is first and foremost an oral one. The transmission of true

knowledge which passes between the Murshid and his murid is sacred, and therefore

their conversations must not be divulged to anyone except with the Murshids

permission. The letters included in this book have been selected in an endeavour to

assist those sincere seekers of Truth who are striving to develop their innate

potentialities for Knowledge of Allah.

The murid who understands the weight of the Murshids speech will never allow even

one of his precious words to pass by without giving it its due. Trying to retain his

unparalleled spiritual advice and guidance in ones head is not enough. The sacred

knowledge which he reveals to his murids deserves and demands the utmost respect

and attention. It is advisable to write down everything that the Murshid says so that

his words of Truth can be thoroughly and carefully contemplated. I always recorded

the words, hints and signs which were given to me during the phone conversations

with my Murshid, and afterwards would spend days, often weeks, and sometimes

even months, reflecting and meditating upon al that he had said

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