Communicating With Families

Making It Better for Everyone

The Family is not the Enemy

They want essentially what you should want: The very best care for their family member

It Helps to Know the Hot ButtonsEvery family has hot buttons. It may have to do with resident /patient safety, hygiene or food. It may be about how you speak to them. It could be about the look of your facility or the manner in which you address their family member. One thing is for sure: If those buttons are pushed, they might not be able to hear anything else that you say.

What the Family Sees and Hears Sticks with Them

When a Family is visiting, they see:Communication With ResidentsOur EnergyThe Language that We UseOur CompassionOur Focus Our Relationships with Each

Other

Families have Information That We Need

The more information We have, the easier it will be to communicate effectively with the Resident

We need to know about sundowners, favorite foods, favorite activities, things about their past

We need to know what makes them happy, what makes them tick, what pushes their buttons

We need to know what level of involvement that the Family wants to have

We need to know everything about the Resident’s past that will help us in helping them now!

No Family Is Perfect

Some residents may be estranged from their families

Don’t judge the families. You might not know the entire story

Residents/patients may have been abusive or neglectful of their children

There may have recent conflict over residential moves or changes

Sibling conflict or rivalry might be involved

Family members don’t always do what might be considered by others to be their fair share

Never Judge what you might not Understand

Role Reversal is Difficult At Best

The Resident is often no longer In control of their finances or their living Arrangements

They may no longer drive

They may no longer decide on their Medical Care

They may be dependent on their Adult Children to purchase clothing, toiletries, books, greeting cards

The Resident may hate this

The Family may hate or resent this

They may both be scared of this

Family May Be Working Through Guilt

While the guilt maybe self imposed, It is still very real and may be very emotionally painful

This Person has always taken care of Me. Am I taking good care of them?

I should probably take Her to my home to live

How can I leave Her so helpless

What kind of Daughter/Son must I be?

I am worthless and/or helpless

Make Caregivers Feel Valued. Make Them a Member of Your Team

You can’t fix what has happened in the past

Going forward, make them feel essential

Give them information. Be as open as Possible!

Let them know that their input is valuable

If activities allow, ask them to participate

Let them know how important they are to the Team

Never Make This About You or Your Team. Make It about The Resident and the Family

It should never be about how busy you are. Do You think that they really care

It should never be that You don’t feel good

It should never be that you are overworked and underpaid

It should always be about what your Resident needs or what the Family needs

Never Ever Do This!!!

Join them in bashing other family members

Belittle what the Resident has to say. You can talk about your spouse, but you don’t want anyone else to talk to about them

Identify the Resident as “One Of Them”

Accuse the Family of overreacting

Make fun of Aging

Always Do This!!!

Communicate in Terms the Family Understands

Treat The Family with Respect

Let them see you salvaging the Resident’s dignity

Be Kind

Apologize when you should

Keep the Family in the Loop

Be Available

Be Proactive

Be Smart

The Caregiver has often been referred to as The Hidden Patient.

Caregivers have a special kind of stress

They often take great care of others, but do little for themselves

They are often not in touch with their level of stress nor of possible impending repercussions

They focus on others, rarely on themselves

They are good people trapped in a challenging situation

They sometimes are transported to the Future and the Future is scary

Final Word on Great Communication with Families

Be Friendly

Be Mannerly

Take time to look them in the eye

Speak in a clear and energized voice

Be empathic, but don’t get caught up in telling about yourself or your situation

Be a great listener

Offer support

Offer them hope that your team will take good care of their family member

Take A Deep Breath and Get Perspective

When someone is difficult to deal with, just know that they are helping you hone your skills

Every challenge is Growth

Every Hour is another opportunity

They will not know that you are angry or out of control unless you tell them

You control your emotion. No one else can, unless you allow it.

I don’t ever mind if the glass is half full, as long as it is half full of wine.

Life Is Good if You Make It Good!!!!

Enjoy Your roleBe powerful in Your roleLet Go of what doesn’t matterRecognize that most things are

not permanent. Everything changes…constantly

Get ready for the Ride!!!