Communication 101

Objectives

• To consider verbal and non-verbal communication methods

• To understand and practise effective listening skills

• To communicate in clear, respectful and non-judgemental ways

• To know when to seek advice

What is Communication?

The process of communication is what allows us to interact with other people; without it, we

would be unable to share knowledge or experiences with anything outside of ourselves.

Common forms of communication include speaking, writing, gestures, touch and

broadcasting.

Verbal vs. Non-Verbal

Can we communicate without words?

Voice attributesWhat are they and how do they affect

communication?

Physical attributesWhat could be considered here and how do they

affect communication?

The power of touchWhat and when is OK?

Which is better, verbal or non verbal?

The Communication Equation

What you hear Tone of voice Vocal clarity Verbal expressiveness 40% of the

message

What you see or feel Facial expression Dress and grooming Posture Eye contact Touch Gesture 50% of the message

WORDS … 10% of the message!

Understanding Communication

We are going to consider:

The 2-Way communication processEffective communication skillsBarriers to effective communication

Communication Skills

Communication skills involve:Listening to others (Receiving) Asserting/ Expressing (Sending)Barriers to communication can lead to

misunderstanding and confusion

Communication

Effective Communication Skills

Effective Communication skills

Eye contact & visible mouth

Body language

Silence

Checking for understanding

Smiling face

Summarising what has been said

Encouragement to continue

Some questions

Barriers to Effective Communication

Barriers to effective

communication

Language NoiseTime

DistractionsOther people

Put downsToo many questions

Distance

Discomfort

with the topic

Disability

Lack of interest

The Art of Listening

“If we were supposed to talk more than listen, we would have been given

two mouths and one ear.”Mark Twain

Listening Skills

Active listeningRespondingParaphrasingAsking questions for clarificationMirroring the other person’s language

Active Listening

1. RestatingTo show you are listening, repeat every so often what you think the person said — not by parroting, but by paraphrasing what you heard in your own words. For example, “Let’s see if I’m clear about this. . .”2. SummarizingBring together the facts and pieces of the problem to check understanding — for example, “So it sounds to me as if . . .” Or, “Is that it?”3. Minimal encouragersUse brief, positive prompts to keep the conversation going and show you are listening — for example, “umm-hmmm,” “Oh?” “I understand,” “Then?” “And?”4. ReflectingInstead of just repeating, reflect the speaker’s words in terms of feelings — for example, “This seems really important to you. . .”

Active Listening

5. Giving feedbackLet the person know what your initial thoughts are on the situation. Share pertinent information, observations, insights, and experiences. Then listen carefully to confirm.6. Emotion labelingPutting feelings into words will often help a person to see things more objectively. To help the person begin, use “door openers” — for example, “I’m sensing that you’re feeling frustrated. . . worried. . . anxious. . .”7. ProbingAsk questions to draw the person out and get deeper and more meaningful information — for example, “What do you think would happen if you. . .?”8. ValidationAcknowledge the individual’s problems, issues, and feelings. Listen openly and with empathy, and respond in an interested way — for example, “I appreciate your willingness to talk about such a difficult issue. . .”

Active Listening

9. Effective pauseDeliberately pause at key points for emphasis. This will tell the person you are saying something that is very important to them.10. SilenceAllow for comfortable silences to slow down the exchange. Give a person time to think as well astalk. Silence can also be very helpful in diffusing an unproductive interaction.11. “I” messagesBy using “I” in your statements, you focus on the problem not the person. An I-message lets the person know what you feel and why — for example, “I know you have a lot to say, but I need to. . .”

Active Listening

12. RedirectingIf someone is showing signs of being overly aggressive, agitated, or angry, this is the time to shift the discussion to another topic.13. ConsequencesPart of the feedback may involve talking about the possible consequences of inaction. Take your cues from what the person is saying — for example, “What happened the last time you stopped taking the medicine your doctor prescribed?”

Responding

Responding checks to see if your perceptions are correct.

This is also a way to further communication.

Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is a skill used in responding. It is a way for you to ensure that you are correctly

understanding what the person is saying. You re-word what the person is saying and ask if

that’s what they’re saying.This skill is very helpful when you want to:

1. let the client know that you are listening and understand what they are saying, 2. clarify confusing content, 3. highlight issues by stating them more concisely, and 4. check out the accuracy of your perceptions as the counselor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CBrwXkh89E

Asking Questions for Clarification

The four main types of questions are:1. Leading QuestionsFor example, “Would you like to talk about it?” “What happened then?” Could you tell me more?”2. Open-ended QuestionsUse open-ended questions to expand the discussion — for example, lead with: “How? What? Where? Who? Which?”3. Closed-ended QuestionsUse closed ended questions to prompt for specifics — for example, lead with: “Is? Are? Do? Did? Can? Could? Would?”4. Reflective QuestionsCan help people understand more about what they said — for example, someone tells you, “I’m worried I won’t remember. . . ” Reflective Q: “It sounds like you would like some help remembering?”Source: National Aging Information & Referral Support Center

Mirroring the Other Person’s Language

Mirroring body language is a way to bond and to build understanding. It is a powerful tool that we use instinctively without even being aware of it. The most obvious forms of mirroring are yawning and smiling. When you see someone yawn, or even if you just read the word “yawn”, you are likely to yawn immediately, or during next 30 seconds.

Communication Blockers

These roadblocks to communication can stop communication dead in its tracks:

1. “Why” questions. They tend to make people defensive.2. Quick reassurance, saying things like, “Don’t worry about that.”3. Advising — “I think the best thing for you is to move to assisted living.”4. Digging for information and forcing someone to talk about something they would rather not talk about.5. Patronizing — “You poor thing, I know just how you feel.”6. Preaching — “You should. . .” Or, “You shouldn’t. . .”7. Interrupting — Shows you aren’t interested in what someone is saying.

Individual Differences

What individual factors could affect the way a person “sends” or “receives” a message?

Is gender/ age a factor?

How can we adapt if we have a problem ourselves or

the other person seems to have a problem?

Cultural Diversity

What do we know about the communication styles of different cultures?

Consider verbal and non verbal, including dress constraints, language difficulties, taboos.

Group Processes

In groups there are obviously more people, so good communication skills are paramount.

Be mindful to practise:Observing non verbal cues

Listening, responding, clarifying, paraphrasing and summarising

Identifying barriers to communicationRemember, silence is golden

AND No one is perfect!

Constraints on Communication

Legal ObligationsAnti DiscriminationPrivacy LawsCode of Conduct of OrganisationConfidentiality and GossipSeeking Advice