COMMUNITY PARTNERSHIPS

WITH LARRY LEISCHNER, ORGANIZATION DEVELOPMENT

ADVISOR, NHA

• Partnership means an informal or formal agreement between two or more parties that have agreed to work together in the pursuit of common goals.

• If you are not at the table then you are probably on the menu!

COMMUNICATION

• There is no good substitution for face-to-face communication—everything else runs a very poor second.

• Only 7% of communication involves the words we use, 38% is the tone of our language and the rest—55%-- is body language.

• What do people see when they see you? How are you representing yourself?

• Communication can be defined as a series of events that transfer an idea or concept between individuals and groups.

TEN LAWS OF HUMAN COMMUNICATION

• It is not what our message does to the listener but what the listener does with our message that determines our success as communicators.

• Listeners generally interpret messages in ways that make them feel comfortable and secure.

• When people’s attitudes are attacked head-on, they are likely to defend those attitudes and, in the process, to reinforce them.

• People pay most attention to messages that are relevant to their own circumstances and point of view.

• People who feel insecure in a relationship are more unlikely to be good listeners.

• People are more likely to listen to us if we also listen to them.

• People are more likely to change in response to a combination of new experience and communication than in response to communication alone.

• People are more likely to support a change that affects them if they are consulted before the change is made.

• The message in what is said will be interpreted in the light of how, when, where and by whom it is said.

• Lack of self knowledge and an unwillingness to resolve our own internal conflicts make it harder for us to communicate with other people. (Source: Hugh Mackay—”Why Don’t People Listen”

PRINCIPLES OF AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION

• If you are not an exemplary listener, you CANNOT be a good communicator—not a chance.

• Truthful—be honest and accurate.• Fundamental—tell the core story, the real

issues.• Consistent—matches the organization’s words

and actions.

• Use clear, logical, and well organized language—use examples and know your audience.

• Be relevant—address your partner’s interests and issues.

• Accessible—be easily found and available.

• Timely—follow through and follow up.• Care—be compassionate, empathic and kind.

Understand your partner’s interests, concerns, emotions.

• Allow feedback—create an opportunity for discussion, feedback and information exchange.

• “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are thought of in your philosophy.”—Shakespeare from Hamlet

• Remember, not all audiences are the same—neither are partners.

Ins and Outs

• Audience—who will be there? What do they know already? What do they want to learn from you? Meet their needs.

• Message—be clear, inform, raise awareness, invite participation.

• Venue—where are you going to meet?• Practice, practice, practice.• Be human, humble and honest.

• Use accessible language and speech—speak clearly, be concise, repeat key points using different words, use simple words and avoid acronyms, jargon and insider language.

• Be aware of nonverbal factors—remember that 93% is about what your partner sees you doing, not saying.

• Be responsive and, if you can, leave a legacy.

RISK

• Things can sometimes go sideways. The formula is perception of risk = hazard + outrage.

• To minimize risk: 1/ provide the three most important things your partner wants to know; 2/ provide the three most important things you would like the audience to know; and 3/ correct the 3 most important things that your audience is likely to get wrong.

• “Wisdom is what’s left after we’ve run out of personal opinions!”—Cullen Hightower

• Question—when is the best time to plant an oak tree?

VALUES

• Fundamentally, values are internal standards by which we all judge events or behaviour—what is good, bad, right, wrong, fair, unfair, et al.

• Community values are those shared by most people in that community. However, the priority that people place on these community values can be very individual.

VALUES—A PARTIAL LIST• Community or the

common good.• Aesthetic quality• Affordability• Freedom/your rights• Openness• Integrity• Environmental quality• Sustainability• Peace

• Fairness• Professionalism• Equity• Fun• Economic Vitality• Due process• Public health and safety• Honesty• Faith

CONFLICT

• Conflict is a struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, values or external/internal demands.

• What causes conflict?• What are the results of conflict?• Can all conflict be resolved?

Conflict-Handling Styles

• There are five main conflict handling styles: avoid, accommodate, compromise, compete and collaborate.

• These are all balanced between how you value the importance of the relationship versus the importance of the outcome.

• The only style that consistently meet the needs of both the relationship and the outcome is collaboration, but it can be hard work.

Collaboration

• When you collaborate, you cooperate with the other party and work towards a mutually satisfying outcome.

• The collaborative process requires keeping an open mind, temporarily setting aside our own priorities, and considering many different approaches.

Collaboration Tips

• Make sure the other party shares their needs and objectives.

• Stimulate information sharing.• Offer many alternatives.• Insist on a collaborative process before

beginning the process.• Take a creative problem solving approach.• Refuse to interact when emotions are high.

ANGER

• “Anyone can be angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way—this is not easy”

--Aristotle

Anger

• For some, anger is a lifestyle of choice but a reality for those of us who have to deal with it.

• Alas, some people do not feel the need to keep anger under control. They enjoy being angry. And, it is a very good tool for getting your own way even if it has devastating impacts on one’s relationships.

Initial hints for emotionally charged solutions.

• Let the person vent.• Don’t interrupt, be defensive or argue.• Respect their opinion and their right to hold it.• Try not to take their anger or emotion personally.• Listen.• They are angry probably because they are

anxious, fearful, defensive, frustrated, out of control or distraught.

• If possible, ask questions to clarify the source of their concern, anxiety, fear or anger.

• Ask them what they would like done to address their concerns.

• If you can do what is requested, then agree and establish a time when it will be done.

• If you can’t do this, offer to take a request to those who may be able to do it. Follow through.

The Levels of Partnerships• To Inform—to provide the partner with balanced

and objective information to assist them in understanding the problem, alternatives, opportunities and/or solutions. Your promise to them is to keep them informed.

• To Consult—to obtain feedback from the partner on analysis, alternative and/or decisions. Your promise is to keep them informed, listen to and acknowledge their concerns and provide feedback on how their input influenced any decisions.

• To Involve—promise to work directly with the partner throughout the process to insure that their concerns and aspirations are consistently understood and considered. Your promise is to work with them to insure that their concerns are directly reflected in any alternatives developed and to provide feedback on how their input influenced the decision.

• To Collaborate—to partner with them in each aspect of the decision including the development of alternatives and the identification of the preferred solution or outcome. The promise is that you will look to the partner for advice and innovation in formulating solutions and incorporate your advice and recommendations into the decisions to the maximum extent possible.

• To Empower—to place the final decision-making into the hands of your partner. Your promise is that we will implement what you decide.

• “Tell me, I forget. Show me, I remember. Involve me, I understand.

– Chinese Proverb.

Thank you!

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