confidence - crossline church

LESSON 5

CONFIDENCE

COMPARISON, PEOPLE PLEASINGAND FINDING REAL CONFIDENCE

GetHealthybyDonnaJones Copyright2017 Allrightsreserved31

GET HEALTHY: CONFIDENCE LessonFive:Comparison,People-Pleasing,andFindingRealConfidence

LookingBack:• Say2Corinthians3:4bfrommemory:“MyadequacycomesfromGod”

o (Note:aneasywaytoremembertheaddressofthisscriptureis

2,3,4:2Corinthians,chapter3,verse4.Youwill,however,havetorememberit’sinCorinthiansonyourown.ButCorinthiansstartswith“C”,likeconfidence–sothat’sastart!)

• RepeatExodus3:14frommemory.

• Didyoutakeactionbyaskingsomeonetohelpyouinanareayouneed

tobuildcompetenceand/orconfidence?Ordidyouvolunteertomentorsomeonewhocoulduseyourexpertisetohelpthembuildtheirconfidence?Ifso,share.Ifnot,it’snevertoolate!Doitthisweek.

LookingForward:AfewyearsagoIwroteablogtitled,“IDidn’tKnowMyLifeWasSuchaDrag,TillISawYourLifeonFacebook”.Ilovedthatpost.Mainlybecauseitwassorawandreal.Isn’tthisjusthowthingsthesedayswork?Justwhenyoustarttofeelconfidentaboutsomething—yourlife,yourjob,yourfamily,yourrelationshipwithGod,yourministry,yourromanticlife(orlackofone),yourfriendships,yourappearance—BAM!Herecomessomeoneelsewhoselifeseemspracticallyperfect.She’ssmarter.Thinner.Better.Andclearly,she’shappier—she’sgotthepicturestoproveit.She’sevenmorespiritual:shepostsBibleverses,forheaven’ssake!Nothingcandeflateourconfidencequitelikecomparison.Weknowthis.Butwecompareourselvesanyway.It’sacrazy-maker,andaconfidencekiller.Isthereanyhopeforwomenwholivesurroundedbyimagesofvirtualperfectiontocastoffthechainsofcomparison,andlivewithtrueconfidence,instead?Yes!We’reabouttofindouthow…


1. Read2Corinthians10:12-13,writtenbytheapostlePaul,andanswerthefollowing:a. Whatdidsomepeopledothatwasnotwise?b. Inwhatwaysdoyouseehowmeasuringyourselfbyothers,or

comparingyourselftoothers,isnotwise?c. Whenyoucompareyourselftoothers:

• Whatdoyouthink?• Whatdoyoufeel?• Whatdoyoudo?• Aretheoutcomesofanyoftheabove,healthy?

d. Ifcomparingourselvestoothersisn’twise,whydoyouthinkwedoitanyway?

Ok,soweknowcomparisonisn’twise.Weknowitisn’thealthy.Buthowonearthdowestopourselvesfromdoingit?Inaworldthatbombardsuswithmessagesofcomparison,howdowelivedifferently?Howdowelivehealthy?

2. Lookcloselyat2Corinthians10:13(fromthepassagewejustread).I’vewrittenitbelow. We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us, a sphere that also includes you. a. What do you think this verse means?

AtfirstglanceitmightseemoddthatPaultalksaboutboasting.Imean,isn’tboastingbad?Isn’tboastingwhatgetsusintothewholemessy,unhealthycomparisonthinginthefirstplace?Yes.Ifit’sthewrongkindofboasting.Thewordtranslatedas“boast”istheGreekword, kauxáomai, whichmeans(andIquotehere)“livingwith‘headuphigh,’boasting fromaparticular vantagepoint by


havingthe rightbaseofoperation todeal successfully withamatter.Itreferstolivingwith God-givenconfidence.”

b. PaulconfinedhisGod-givenconfidence(boasting)towhatarea?

c. Let’sgetpractical.Inreallife,whatdoyouthinkthismeans?

d. Let’sgetevermorepractical.Inyourreallife,whatspheresofservicehasGodassignedtoyou?

e. HowdoyouthinkknowingandconcerningyourselfaboutwhatGodhasassignedtoyoufreesyoufromcomparingyourselfbywhatGodhasassignedtoothers?

WhenweknowwhatGodhasassignedtous,andwearedoingourverybesttopleaseGodinthoseareas,wecanliveconfidently,freefromtheneedtocompareourselveswithothers.We’refreetoruninourownlane,sotospeak.Evenbetter,wecancheerothersontoliveconfidentlyintheirareasofservice—intheirlane.Talkaboutawin-win!Talkaboutfreedom.Talkaboutemotional,relationalandspiritualhealth!Whywouldwewanttoliveanyotherway?SeekingtopleaseGodintheareasHe’sassignedtousfreesusupfromcomparison,butitalsofreesusupfromanotherunhealthyconfidencestealer—peoplepleasing.

3. Read2Corinthians5:6-10andanswerthefollowingquestions.

a. WhatwasPaulconfidentof?b. Accordingtoverse9,whatwashisgoal?c. Whatdoyouthink:Howdoestrueconfidencethatsomedaywewill

behomewiththeLordaffect(orshouldaffect)ourgoals?


d. Let’sgetpractical.HowwouldmakingityourgoaltopleaseGod,ratherthanmakingityourgoaltopleasepeople,affect:

• Whatyouthink?• Whatyoufeel?• Whatyoudo?

e. Isthereanyarea(s)youneedtostoptryingtopleasepeople,and

startseekingtopleaseGod?Ifso,what?

WhenwemakeourambitiontopleaseGod,itgivesustheconfidencetolivefreefromtheneedtopleasepeople.Trustmeonthis.IknowwhatI’mtalkingabout;I’mapastor’swife.Ifthere’sanyroleonearthwherepeoplepleasingcanrobyouofemotional,spiritualandpersonalhealth,it’sministry.There’salwayssomeonewhothinksyoushoulddosuch-and-such.Gang,Iwouldbeflatoutemotionally,spiritually,andrelationallycrazy,ifItriedtolivetopleasepeople.And,sowouldyou.Whenwetrytopleasepeople,ourconfidenceisatthemercyofmakingothershappy.Andwearemiserable.ButwhenwemakeitourgoaltopleaseChrist,welivefree!Gosh,ifIcouldtakeyoursweetfaceinmyhands,lookyouintheeye,andmakeyoupromiseyou’dlivefromthismomentforwardseekingtopleaseJesus,aboveeveryoneelse,Itotallywould.Irealizethislaststatementmightcreepsomeofyouout,butIdon’tevencare(Remember,I’mnotapeoplepleaser!),becauseit’sthatlifechanging.AndIwantyoutoliveconfidentandfree!Ok,solet’slookatonemoreareawhereourconfidencemightbethreatened—hardship.

4. AccordingtoHebrews10:32-36:a. WhathardshipsweretheHebrewsfacing?b. Howdoeshardship,failure,ordifficultyaffectourconfidence?


c. Whatadmonitionisgivenverse35?d. Whatpromiseisgiveninverse36?e. Doyouseeareasofyourlifewhereyoutooeasilythrowawayyour

confidence?Ifso,where?How?f. Whatencouragementdoyoureceivefromthispassagetoholdonto

yourconfidence?

5. Confidencebringsgreatblessing.ReadJeremiah17:7-8,writtenbelow.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. 8 They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.” It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

a. What will the person who places their confidence in the Lord be

like?

b. According to verse 8, what two things does a person who is confident in God not do? 1. 2.

c. In what ways could being a person who puts their confidence in

God free you from your fear and worry?


MaybeIjustliketokeepthingssimple,butlivinglifefreefromworry,freefromfear,freefromtheneedtopleasepeople,andfreefromcomparison,seemslikeaprettyblessedlifetome!Infact,theword“blessed”means,“abundantlyblessed”or“actuallyblessed.”Here’swhatIhopeyou’velearnedinourlastfewweekstogether:Godwantsyoutoliveconfidently.It’syourbirthrightasabeliever.Everypersonwe’vestudied—fromGideon,toDavid,toMoses—puttheirconfidenceinGodand,asaresult,theywereabundantlyblessed.Theywereactuallyblessed.Howyouseeyourcircumstances,howyouseeyourself,howyouseeGod;thesethingsallcontributeyouhowconfidentyouwillbe,andhowconfidentlyyouwilllive.WillyouseeGodforwhoHeis?WillyouseeyourselfforwhoGodsaysyouare?WillyouseektopleaseJesusaboveothers?Ifyouwill,youwillbeaconfidentwoman.Andyouwillbeabundantly,actuallyblessed.

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