Conflict Resolution

“For the Sake of the Gospel”

Bishop, Dr. William B. Smith, Sr.

I Corinthians 9:19-23

19   For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain

the more.20   And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that

are under the law;21   To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without

law.22   To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men,

that I might by all means save some.23   And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I

might be partaker thereof with you.

I. What is Conflict?

1 : Fight, Battle, War

2 a : competitive or opposing action of incompatibles : antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons) b : mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands

3 : the opposition of persons or forces that gives rise to the dramatic action in a drama or fiction

II. When does Conflict arise?

When there are differences of views!!

III. How do Conflicts manifest themselves?

When each seeks to dominate

IV. Why should I seek to resolve conflict with others?

Proverbs 4:7

   Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with

all thy getting get understanding.

V. Most Conflicts arise and cause problems due to differences in The

3-P’s.

Personality

Perspective

Perception

Genesis 2:21-2421   And the LORD God caused a deep

sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead

thereof;22   And the rib, which the LORD

God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the

man.

A. God created men and women to be one and yet to be different

23   And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because

she was taken out of Man.24   Therefore shall a man leave his

father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall

be one flesh.

B. God in His infinite wisdom knew we would be so

different it would cause conflict, and we would have

to work to resolve this conflict and keep unity!

Ephesians 4:1-41   I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the

vocation wherewith ye are called,2   With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in

love;3   Endeavouring to keep the unity of the

Spirit in the bond of peace.4   There is one body, and one Spirit, even

as ye are called in one hope of your calling;

C. Because of differences in Personalities,

Perspectives, and Perceptions people favor

one persons ministry over another's

I Corinthians 1:11-1311   For it hath been declared unto me of

you, my brethren, by them which are of the house of Chloe, that there are

contentions among you.12   Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I am of Paul; and I of Apollos; and I

of Cephas; and I of Christ.13   Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptized in the name

of Paul?

Matthew 10:1616   Behold, I send you forth as

sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as

serpents, and harmless as doves.

D. If we are to win souls for Jesus Christ and be effective we must operate in wisdom!

E. You can be at peace with someone even if they have a problem with you.

Hebrews 12: 14-15

14   Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:15   Looking diligently lest any man fail of

the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and

thereby many be defiled;

VI. God’s Word of truth gives the body of Christ the procedures for conflict resolution.

God’s solutions will always stand the

test of time

A. Conflict Resolution process Step #1

Matthew 18:1515   Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell

him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast

gained thy brother.

B. Conflict Resolution Process Step #2

Matthew 18:16

16   But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that

in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be

established.

C. Conflict Resolution Process Step #3

Matthew 18:1717   And if he shall neglect to hear

them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a

publican.

VII. God wants us to quickly resolve our

conflict to protect our soul from sin.

A. Is it possible to commit murder your mouth and lose your soul!

Matthew 5:21-2221   Ye have heard that it was said of them of

old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of

the judgment:22   But I say unto you, That whosoever is

angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and

whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but

whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

B. There are times when we should not wait for the other person to come to us. If you know they are offended, you should prayerfully approach them.

Matthew 5:23-24

23   Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;24   Leave there thy gift before the

altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then

come and offer thy gift.

C. The Lord wants His people to resolve their conflict A.S.A.P.

Matthew 5:25

25   Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him;

lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge

deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

VIII. When Conflict is resolved we as God’s

people can accomplish things that are out of this

world.

Matthew 18:18-2018   Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye

shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on

earth shall be loosed in heaven.19   Again I say unto you, That if two of

you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.20   For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the

midst of them.

1. Arguing – vs. - Discussing

Who’s at Fault; Who’s to Blame?

What’s Fair, Effective, & Sensible I’m Right, You are

Wrong

We have Different Viewpoints; Each is Right

I Need to win, Appease Me

I Need Respect, Work with Me

2. Arguing – vs. - Discussing

The Responsibility for a Solution is Ours

The Responsibility for our Dispute was yours

Only my outcome counts

Our Process also Matters

I know the facts Gather facts & Clarify Perspectives

Confront the RealitiesConfront each other personally

3. Arguing – vs. - Discussing

Define common ground & interests-acknowledge differences

I’ll correct your view-Adversarial, Fight it out

Enforce my Viewpoint Envision & Explore Possibilities

Meet my goals, Ignore yours.

Establish & Refine Workable Goals

4. Arguing – vs. - Discussing

Problem Solve & Make Decisions

Subdue, Coerce or Manipulate

Balance Power, Each Controls Self

We can reach a solution

Overpower & Control

I can defeat you

Damage scores Creativity Scores

5. Arguing – vs. - Discussing

DialogueDueling Monologues

I have one mouth for talking

Past Focus

Inflexible Posturing

I have two ears for listening

Future Focus

Flexible Troubleshooting

Fluid Stream: Persistent Flow toward Goal

Ice & Rock: Crack & Break

The End Conflict Resolution

“For the Sake of the Gospel”

Bishop, Dr. William B. Smith, Sr.