conflict tool kit

7/25/2019 Conflict Tool Kit

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Conflict Management Toolkit



Table of Contents

I. Determining the current level ofconflict level in my work life (self-assessment)

II. Determining my conflict style (selfassessment)

III. Resolving a conflict with one othererson

I!. Resolving a grou conflict.

!. "uervisor#s role in resolvingemloyee conflict

!I. The art of $iscilining emloyees(for suervisors)

!II. The role of %R in conflict resolution



Determining the level ofconflict in my life

Conflict ManagementToolkit

&art I



Determining the

source of conflict't times you may sense conflict

at work but not know eactly

why.

The conflict self-assessment willhel you to inoint the

secific area in which you areeeriencing conflict so that

you can begin to resolve it. Theareas a$$resse$ are

suervisor self eersemloyees an$ ro$uctivity.



*hat is my conflictstyle+


&art II



Conflict "tyle

, ot only is it imortant to knowwhat relationshi or situation is

causing conflict in our life but itis also imortant to look at howwe normally resolve conflict (ournatural inclination).

, *e must then $eci$e whether weare satisfie$ with our currentaroach or if we woul$ like to

change it in some way to imroveour effectiveness at conflictresolution.



"tyle lanation

, Avoiding

, Accommodating, Compromising

, Competing

, Collaborating

's you $iscovere$ through theconflict resolution assessment ournatural inclinations usually lace usinto one of these styles.



"tyle lanation

, Avoiding Style (-,-)/ If I ignore the roblem it will go

away/ If I confront the roblem I may

hurt someone#s feelings

/ *hy bother0 it won#t changeanything

, Accommodating (-,+)/ It#s easier to 1ust give in an$ give

them what they want

/ 2ou will be better like$ if you 1ustagree

/ 3y letting the other erson win thistime you will win net time0 youhave to ick your battles.



"tyle lanation

, Compromising Style (-,-)/ It#s only fair because then neither

of us get what we want./ 3oth arties are on an even layingfiel$

/ *e can choose to give u somethingwe really $on#t nee$ therebywinning.

, Competing Style (+,-)/ I#m right an$ you#re wrong/ There is only one solution

, Collaborating (+,+)

/ *e can fin$ a solution that worksfor both of us./ 3y asking the other erson#s

ersective I can un$erstan$ them./ 4nce we fin$ a common groun$ we

can work from there.



Conflict "tyle

If you find yourselfadopting a conflict style

that you’re not happyabout

5. 'naly6e why you have a$ote$

that style.

7. Develo some simle action stesthat will hel you break yourhabit.

8. Rea$ on for helful tis that willgui$e you through variousconflict situations.



4ne-to-one

Conflict


&art !I



If you want toconstructively resolve a

conflict with anothererson0

, !I"S#, get into the right frame of

min$ for a ositive $iscussionalways remembering to treat theother erson with resect

, S$C%&' agree on the best time

an$ lace for both of you to$iscuss the conflict with eachother.

, #I"' "et some groun$ rules.

, !%"# have a $iscussion.



"te 59

'$ot the right

frame of min$



The Approach

• Go in with the right attitude

• Send positive non-verbal signals

• Focus on the real issues

• Pay attention to communicationstyle

*hen you are rea$y to aroachthe other erson remember to9



2our 'ttitu$e*eave ehind

, 2our $esire to win

unish or control, 2our $esire thateverything be:fair;

, 2our assumtionthat it won#t work

, 2our ten$ency tothink in :black an$white; :right orwrong;

, 2our $eterminationto be right.

#ae ith .ou, ' willingness to work

at this, 'n un$erstan$ingthat :ercetion isreality; both for youan$ those aroun$ you.

, ' willingness to learnfrom the situation, ' willingness to see

an$ acknowle$ge your owncontribution to the

roblem.



Be aware of your

nonverbal signals:

, < = of the wor$suse$>

, 8?= on voice@uality> an$

, AA= on nonverbalcommunication

4thers imression of you is base$ on9



Bocus on un$erlying

Issues, hat happened+

/ Difference in eectations9

, *hat $i$ I eect to haen+>*hat actually haene$+ *ho $i$what+

/ Intention inventory (*ho meant what+)

, !eelings

/ Don#t ignore or fail to acknowle$ge/ Beelings make relationshis en1oyable

an$ $ifficult conversations $ifficult(can#t have one without the other)

, Identity/ Must face ourselves as well as other

erson

/ 'm I cometent+> 'm I a goo$erson+> 'm I worthy of love+



Communication Tis

Avoid “you” statements

Focus on behavior, not

employeeFocus on actions, not intent

e descriptive and specific

!bring data"Practice active listening

s#ills

As# open and closedquestions to clari$y points



Step /9

Consider time

factors



e #imely0

talk to the other ersonwhile the issues are still

current

'nger an$ negativefeelings

ten$ to fester if not $ealtwith @uicklyCC



Consider the other

person’s time needs, Don#t interrut the other

erson#s sche$ule an$ state

that you nee$ to talk, 'gree on a time to meet with

the other erson an$ informhimher of the toic.

, Eive himher time to rearementally.



Step 19

Set some ground

rules2



3 “Golden” Rules

1. veryone tells it li!e

they see it.

". Get everything on the

table.

3. #ocus on the future.



"amle Rules for

$iscussion

, o interrutions, o yelling

, Time limit on certaintoics of $iscussion

, *or$s to avoi$

, 'greement on what to$o if you can#t agreeahea$ of time

In a$$ition to general rules it ishelful to agree on how you will talk

with each other



Step 39

#he Actual'iscussion



The 'ctualConversation

5. Define the conflict.

7. Communicateun$erstan$ing.

8. lore alternative

solutions.

F. 'gree on most workable

solution.

A. valuate after time.



Define the Conflict

Describe the roblem inclear concrete terms. 3esecific (use :I; not :you;)

Bocus on behaviors orroblems not eole

Talk about the imact on you

Define the conflict as aroblem to solve togethernot a battle to be won



7. Communicate

Gn$erstan$ing Histen to really un$erstan$ the other

erson#s feelings nee$s Reflectback.

/ lain how you see the roblemafter you have hear$ them.

/ I$entify your contribution to the

situation.

/ Describe feelings (not 1u$gments oraccusations)

/ Talk about i$entity issues.



8. lore alternative

solutions$ Take turns offering alternative

solutions. Hist them all.

/ 3e non1u$gmental of other#si$eas.

/ amine the conse@uence ofeach solution.

/ Think an$ talk ositively.



F. 'gree on most

workable solution

$ Agree on a solutionyou both understandand can live 4ith5

/ e committed to

resolving the conflict



A. valuate after time

Eet together after some time an$ see how the newarrangement is

working for botharties



Tis in $ifficult

"ituations, 6acing0 one aroimates the behavior

of the other erson to subconsciouslybuil$ raort.

, 78ental Aiido99 mentally movingaway from the focal oint of thea$versary#s attack. Make a non-linearresonse to the a$versary#s wor$s.:"harks eect you to react.;

, :6atterned interruption;9 involves varying your usual resonse. :2ou

have the caacity to interrut the usual$estructive attern by $oing somethingcomletely $ifferent or uneecte$.;



Resolving Erou

Conflict

*orkforceDeveloment Toolkit

&art !II



Meeting Conflict 5. If you sense a spoen or unspoen conflict in a

meeting over an issue, address it5 7#here seems to be some disagreement overthis issue5 Can 4e tae a fe4 minutes to clarifythe issue5

/5 Clarify the conflict5 7%5:5 so there seems to be some disagreementover59

15 'ecide if there is time to deal 4ith it today orif another meeting needs to be set up to give itfull attention5

7Since this seems to be ;uite an importantissue and 4e don’t have much time today5 *et’sagree to meet again to discuss it further5 Can4e meet on59

35 If another meeting is necessary, assignresponsibility for gathering more information onthe sub<ect to staff5

7Sue, can you please research information on5And 'iane can you please chec on that Statemandate59

=5 Insist employees let it go until the ne>t meeting5 7e have a lot of other issues to discuss

today so let’s free our minds of this issue untilthe set meeting and move on59



Erou Resolution

5. Restate the issue to ensure clarity.

7. %ave each grou member shareinformation gathere$ an$ give hisheroinion.

8. Make sure everything is ut on the table(no unresolve$ feelings oing u later)

F. 3rainstorm alternatives

A. 'gree on best solution using team$ecision-making stes (see reference listat en$)

. Develo action stes.

<. 'gree on follow-u session.



Supervisor’s role inresolving conflict

Conflict Management

Toolkit&art I!



2our Role as a

"uervisor

, Hooking for ways tore$uce an$ reventconflict in your workarea

, %an$ling conflict as athir$ arty

, %an$ling grievances asthey come to you

Involves9



2ou can re$uce

conflict by9

, eing a good leader

, eing a4are of yourmanagement style

, #raining yourself and yourstaff on conflict resolution

, *ooing out for signs



e a Good %eader

, "et a goo$ eamle

, Communicate clear stan$ar$s

, "et groun$ rules

, &rovi$e clear rationale for$ecisions

, nsure emloyees have resources

an$ training to $o their 1obs

, Eet to know your emloyees



e a Good %eader

, Con$uct erformance counseling

, 'ssist emloyees who haveerformance roblems

, '$$ress miscon$uct romtly

, Eet a$vice from %R when youhave @uestions or concerns riorto the nee$ to ursue$iscilinary actions

, Treat emloyees fairly an$e@uitably alying rulesconsistently



3e aware of your own

behavior?5 Allo4ing aggressive or inappropriate

conduct 4ithout taing action can foster ahostile or intimidating 4or environment5

/5 'ecision-maing 4ithout employee input orparticipation can lead to frustratedemployees 4ho don’t feel valued asanything but 74orer bees59

15 .our staff loos to you to assist in

resolving conflicts5 .ou are bettere;uipped to resolve conflicts if both youand your staff have had conflictresolution training5

35 If you are inconsistent or unpredictable,your employees 4ill be unsure of your

e>pectations and become frustrated5

=5 $ngaging in relationships 4ith youremployees that are personal or tooinformal may lead to misunderstandings,as 4ell as other employees feelingalienated5



Hookout for "igns of

$iscontentment

• A usually outgoing, communicative employee becomes withdrawn and &uiet.

• An employee $re&uently comes in late $or wor#.

• An employee is more argumentative and erraticthan usual.

• An employee suddenly ta#es no interest inmaintaining his or her personal appearance orhygiene.

• An employee ma#es comments about violent meanso$ dealing with, or coping with, a particular

situation.

• An employee tal#s about 'having nothing to lose(or not caring about anything anymore.



%an$ling conflict as athir$ arty



%an$ling mloyee

Conflicts, Situation ?9 'n emloyee

comlains to you about

another emloyee

, Situation /9 2ou observe aconflict situation

, Situation 19 'n emloyeewoul$ like to file a formalgrievance



If an emloyee comesto you with a ossible

grievance9, Take the comlaint seriously

, "et a rofessional tone for theinterview/ ut the comlainant atease

, &rovi$e assurance of confi$entiality Jnon-retaliation

, 'sk for/ but $o not re@uire- awritten statement.

, Eather facts $o not make 1u$gments.

, Histen an$ get answers to9 :whowhat when where why how.;

, Communicate your concern an$$escribe the available otions.



%an$ling a formal

comlaint cont0

, 'sk how the comlainant woul$ like torocee$.

, Tell the comlainant that romtaction will be taken.

, 'sk about the erson (s) nee$ forimme$iate assistance.

, Refer them to GM*#s grievance olicy

, "et a time for a follow-u meetingan$or refer the erson to the %Roffice

, Document an$ contact %R.



"tes in &rogressiveDisciline



55 o4 to act 4hen youbecome a4are of a

disciplinary problem

?5 6ersonal %bservation If you observed the negative

behavior personally, you canproceed to the slide labeledcounseling5 (clic here)

/5 Complaint from a 1rd partyIf a 1rd party maes you a4areof the negative behavior, youmust mae sure you conduct

thorough and fair fact findingsteps5 (see ne>t slide)5



7. Bact Bin$ing

5. Talk to the accuse$ using the:counseling; gui$elines on net sli$e.

7. If the emloyee $enies the behavior orrecounts a $ifferent scenario elainto himher that further fact fin$ing isnecessary.

8. Talk to only those $irectly involve$ inthe situation in a confi$ential manner.

F. Document all $iscussions with relate$

arties.

A. Review all relevant $ocuments icturesor $iagrams to substantiate the factfin$ing.



, 'ssure emloyee that only those who nee$to know will be informe$.

, "hare concrete eamles with theemloyee of the negative behavior

, "tate the effects of this negativebehavior.

, Describe the behavior you woul$ like to see(what changes must occur).

, Eive the emloyee a chance to elain orcomment.

, 'gree together on a lan of action.

, "tate the conse@uences if this change ofbehavior $oes not occur

8. Counseling the

mloyee



'$$itional Tis about

Counseling, Gtili6e the @irginia $mployee

Assistance 6rogram (@$A6)

whenever you see it asaroriate (This shoul$ beoffere$ in a$$ition to$iscilinary action not as asubstitute).

, 'ocumentation of counselingshoul$ be retaine$ in suervisor#sfiles not in emloyee#s ersonnel

file5

, 'on’t soften the blo4 theemloyee must un$erstan$ theseverity of hisher actions.



F. Bormal Disciline

5. 3efore taking any formal $iscilinaryaction consult with your suervisor.

7. Reference the :Co$e of Con$uct; tomatch severity of $isciline withnegative con$uct.

8. Issue a written notice whencounseling $i$ not work or when the

con$uct was severe enough towarrant imme$iate $isciline.

F. 'H*'2" lace a warning about theconse@uences of failure to imroveerformance in writing before

imlementing any $isciline measuressuch as susension $ismissal.



F. Bormal Disciline

Continue$A. If the emloyee#s erformance

remains oor an$ you feel you haverovi$e$ enough counseling an$ givenenough warning follow through on thethreatene$ $isciline.

. 'H*'2" make sure of what you are$oing an$ that your final $ecision is

fair.<. Histen to emloyee an$ review theevi$ence one more time from theemloyee#s oint of view.

?. Binali6e the $isciline by following

your olicies.K. Consult %R as to the actual metho$ of

imlementing the $isciline.



A. Termination

) &$@$" #$"8I&A#$ I#%#C%&S*#I& "

*%IS#ICS03efore con$ucting a termination you

nee$ to9

) "che$ule (when how long)) Hocation) tra "uort (%R '&)) &reare (hysical J sychological)

) Review searation ackage) Think about emloyee#s state of

min$ an$ otential reaction



A. Termination Cont.

%B$C#I@$S0

) Deliver the message @uicklyresectfully J rofessionally) nsure in$ivi$ual un$erstan$s that

emloyment if terminate$imme$iately or in the near future

) Deliver the searation ackage) "trongly encourage emloyees to

utili6e !C Lob "earch Center) &rovi$e structure for the net 7F

hours) nsure to collect agency roertybefore emloyee leaves for the $ay.

Click here formore information



ey &oints in

"mart Disciline, 'lways follow your written

olicies an$ ast ractices in

similar situations, Hack of consistency will cause

a 1u$ge to assume you are$iscriminating against theemloyee in some way.

, Remember that otheremloyees will be watching you

to see if you are fair., 'lways listen to emloyeesan$ give them a chance toimrove



To *ays to Eet

"ue$05. Ignore the union :salter;7. Discharge the $isable$ worker

(without accommo$ation)8. Misclassifying a non-eemtemloyee as eemt an$ notaying overtime.

F. 'llowing managers an$

suervisors to use offensivewor$s as a :1oke;.

A. Bailure to sto seualharassment.

. &unishing the victim (intentionallyor unintentionally)

<. Hetting managers :go ostal;when acting on behalf ofemloyer.



In a $iscilinarysituation0

:not taking action; isa $ecision



The Role of the

%ffice of

uman "esources

in Conflict Resolution



The Role of %R

If you are in a conflict situation anddon’t no4 ho4 to deal 4ith it, the%ffice of " can0

, &rovi$e you with gui$ance an$ tools toaroach the conflict situation.

, Direct you through the aroriatechain of comman$.

, &resent formal an$ informal otionsavailable to you.

, Coor$inate me$iation facilitation orcounseling sessions for you.

.

.



Things that will hel us

to hel you0

, At the onset of the conflict

, ith clear e>amples or factsand

, ith your ideas of 4hat you

4ould lie changed in yoursituation5

%R will try to hel you no matter what your situation but we can best

assist you if you come to us9



Consult %R as a

roactive rather thanreactive measure

A single in<ury is much easier to fi>4hencompared to multiple 4ounds2

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