CONGRUENT COMMUNICATION

CONGRUENT COMMUNICATION(HAIM GINOTT)

Amir Asnawi bin Ahmad KhairuddinAlifah Nabilah bt Massalleh

He was born in Israel in 1922He studied clinical psychology at Columbia University in New YorkHe was a clinical psychologist, parent educator and author of 3 books: Parent & Child, Parent & Teenager, Teenager & ChildHe worked with troubled youth in a guidance clinic in Jacksonville, FloridaHis experience in Jacksonville has guided him to his unique combination of compassion and boundary settingHe believed that there was no such thing as an unacceptable child, only unacceptable behaviours

DEFINITIONDefinitionAccording to the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary 8th Edition;Congruentsuitable for something; appropriate in a particular situationCommunication the activity or process of expressing ideas and feelings or of giving people informationCongruent CommunicationAppropriate and suitable exchange of expressions or information between the speakers.

Congruent communication is a style of speaking that does not attack others, but instead remains harmonious with feelings being experienced. (Ginott, 1971) (cited in Charles 1999, 57)Key ConceptsUse congruent communicationPromote self-discipline for both teachers and studentsAccept and acknowledge students and their actions without belittling the individualAvoid evaluative praise, and use appreciative praiseAvoid sending you messages and use I messages to describe how a behavior makes the someone feelDemonstrate their best behaviors or those that contribute to a classroom environment

Approaches & Strategies

Ginotts Teachings He reminded teachers that learning always takes place in the PRESENT TENSE (teachers must NOT judge students or hold grudges)Learning is always a personal matter to the studentHe believed in harmonious communication communication that is harmonious with students feelings about situation and themselves

5 Ways for Teachers to Express Congruent Communication(Messages that focus on what needs to be corrected without attacking students character or personality)1) Sane Messages Address situations rather than students characters

Acknowledge and accept students feelings

Often teachers use language that blames, orders, accuses or threatens to students

Use language that focuses on situation and facts not threatening students self esteem2) Express Anger AppropriatelyStudents can annoy and irritate teachers making them angryTeachers should express their anger appropriately

Use I-messages, rather than You-messages

I-message, example : I am hearing a lot of talking that is disrupting the class

You-message, example : Why are you always talking, I told you to stop talking

3) Invite CooperationDescribing the situation when a problem occurs and indicating what needs to be done

Do not boss the students around give them choices in matters that effect their life in the classroom (seating arrangement/classroom procedure)

Provide opportunities for students to experience independence, accepting their capabilities

Always ask yourself, How can I be most helpful to my students right now?

4) PraiseEVALUATIVE PRAISEComments on students characterExample Good boy for raising your hand

APPRECIATIVE PRAISEResponding to effort or improvementTeacher shows appreciation for what the student has done

5)No WHY QuestionAvoid asking why questions when discussing behaviourIt will make students feel guilty and defensiveInstead point out that there is a problem and invite students to discuss ways to solve the problemNO WHY QUESTIONS!Why cant you be good for a change?Why do you forget everything I teach you?

STRENGTH & WEAKNESSStrengths1. Addresses the students action rather than the students character. The class moves along much better, Terry, when you raise your hand and I call on you.2. Invites cooperation between the teacher and student. Devin, would you please take our new student to the restroom?3. Congruent communication accepts and acknowledges the feelings of both students and teachers. I realize, Martha, that you would prefer not to speak at the graduation. However, your parents would be so disappointed if you let this opportunity pass by. You one day would also feel terrible about not seizing the opportunity.4. Congruent communication uses brevity in correcting misbehavior Stacy, please put that away.5. Expresses anger appropriately. Victor, I am sorry that your aunt felt that I was mistreating you. I do not remember ever calling you down for attempting to answer our Daily Oral Language answers. But, if I have, I will do my best to make sure that you do get an opportunity to respond with your answers occasionally.WeaknessesAbsolutely does not work in violent situations

Theory not molded into a model of its own

Practicality of the theory in a local ESL classroomUse Clear Communication

Teachers clearly communicate their expectations in a manner that helps students feel accepted This open communication promotes autonomy among the students

Teacher would be more of a facilitator for conversations that include every member of the class and address all the important issuesIt is important to value the contributions and to listen to everyones ideas

Teacher should always strive to guide students to acceptable behaviour rather than critisize

Negative criticism can lead to the lowering of a childs self-esteem and increase self-doubt

Criticism should be used constructively for improvement

Negative remarks should not be made about a childs personality (i.e. character should not be attacked, embarrassment should be avoided)

It fosters good cooperation between teachers and studentsIt fosters positive behaviours to the studentsIt fosters positive communication between teachers and studentsreferencehttp://www.betweenparentandchild.com/index.php?s=content&p=Haimhttp

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