copyright 2006 washington ospi. all rights reserved. what is elaboration?

Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

What is Elaboration?


Definition of Elaboration

Elaboration means. . . To tell the reader more using

Specific words Extensions (phrases, clauses) Onion-like layering of detail Specific strategies, e.g., anecdotes or

scenario, lists for specificity, examples, definitions, descriptions, quotations, statistics, and facts.


Quick Write

Think about a time when someone wrote you a note that said, “There’s a new kid coming to our school tomorrow.”

What kind of details would you want to know? What kind of details were left out? Why is having enough information important?


What does elaboration look like?

ANECDOTES -- An anecdote is a short narrative inserted into an essay that develops an idea or argument. This sounds like. . .

Hey, I remember the time when I had to carry my . . .

Once when I was in middle school, the kids would always. . . .


Develop your point with an anecdote.

You can’t give up, Jack. I remember one time when I played on the high school baseball team. We were losing, and it was the 8th inning. Everyone was getting discouraged, and then the coach said, “BOYS! You’ve got to RALLY here! Turn your ball caps around and GET OUT THERE!” So, Jack, turn your ball cap – I mean ATTITUDE -- around and get out there!


Anecdotes - your turn

Look at the paper you wrote last Tuesday (“Sport or Activity”); identify some stories you could use to weave into that essay.

On your own paper, write a short anecdote that might work.

Share this with your partner. Discuss the images in the anecdote that are

vivid.



EXAMPLES -- provide more specific information about an idea. This sounds like. . .

The cats were all acting like they were crazy. For example, one jumped at me …

We had a barrage of different weather last week: hail, rain, snow, and sunshine.

My brothers always seem to pick on me.

For instance, they hide my soccer shoes before

a game.


Develop your point with an example.

The game of golf can be played for an entire lifetime and by yourself. People of any age can go out and play a round of golf whenever they want as opposed to team sports. For example, football, soccer, and volleyball take an entire team of people to play. How many times are you going to call up ten or more of your friends and go play sports?


Examples - your turn

Examples are an effective way to help the reader understand your ideas.

Think about a situation at school and write two examples.

Share them with your partner. How do the examples help explain?



DEFINITIONS -- are a restatement of an unfamiliar word or phrase to tell the reader what it means.

The best part of our hot lunch program is the A La Carte. What I mean is the little deli line-up past the lunch line where you can buy cookies, slushies, and candy bars.


Develop your point with a definition.One of the best programs at our school is something called Brainworks. Brainworks is an after-school program where kids go and do their homework. They even let you work on the computers there. I like it a lot because the lady who runs the program keeps everyone pretty quiet. At my house, I have 6 little brothers and sisters, and there is never a quiet place to work.


Definition - your turn Defining specific words shows an

awareness of your audience--what they know and what they may not know.

Talk to your partner about some of the “lingo” you hear at school. Write a definition of one word for your parents and then write a definition of that same word for a third grader.

How did your definition change depending on the audience?



STATISTICS and FACTS -- are the numbers (data) and information that help support your idea or argument.

Mom, did you know that 98% of all my friends get to stay up until 1:00 AM on weekends?

Well, Son, did you know that 3 out of

every 4 parents would have grounded you for

staying out so late?

Kids who smoke at an early age

are prone to heart attacks later in life.


Develop your point with facts and statistics.Another craze to sweep America was the low-carb diet. It was reported in the newspaper after the last holiday season that 67% of all Americans were low-carb dieting. Let me tell you the personal impact that has had on my family’s wheat farm here in Washington.


Statistics and Facts - your turn

Statistics in a WASL paper can be made up by you, the writer!

Talk to a partner and come up with a statistic for an issue at school, (e.g., number of football games won, number of friendly teachers).

Be creative and think of what statistics might convince the audience.

Share a creative idea with the whole group.



QUOTATIONS -- are words someone says that can help support your idea or argument.

“Spaying or neutering dogs and cats is the single best gift a pet owner can give.”

Dr. Stein, the veterinarian from the animal shelter, agreed when he said,


Develop your point with quotations.Another reason to graduate from high school is that even technical jobs require a diploma. Jared Turner from Best Performance Welding magazine states, “We won’t even consider hiring a person without a high school diploma. Our workers need to read the job specs, monitor equipment performance, and write orders and reports.” Turner went on to describe the many qualified applicants who compete for the positions in his busy firm. This seems to be different from the good old days and makes a pretty decent point about staying in school.


Quotations

Quotations or simple dialogue can add information and credibility to your idea or argument.

On the WASL, you can invent an important expert and have that person say something to bolster your position.

You can also quote someone you know.


Quotations - your turn

Talk to your partner about some possibilities of people you might quote regarding an issue at school.

Take the statistic in your last example and turn it into a quotation.

Share one example with the class.



DESCRIPTIONS—are a way to create vivid images for the reader.

The sound of my phone cut through the silent class, and I anxiously dug into my backpack to grab it before Mrs. Schuman, the writing teacher, noticed. Pawing through Chapstick, lipstick, gum wrappers and rubber hair wraps, my hand darted around the deep pockets of my backpack.“Must shut off ringer,”I thought.


Develop your point with description.

Jackie walked slowly to the Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial exhibit. In her hands were two yellow daffodils that she had brought with her on the hour-long bus ride. Their green stems, snapped from the patch in the backyard, were slowly drying out.


Description - your turn

Description can take many forms and still be effective. Show, don’t just tell, your reader. Be specific with your word choice. Try to create an image that appeals to your reader’s senses.

Work with your partner and write a paragraph that describes your school’s cafeteria. Elaborate using sensory details.


Reflection

In your own words, define elaboration. Why is it important? What kind of changes will you make in

your writing now that you have learned about elaboration?


Agenda—Day 2 Review elaboration strategies Quick write Identify specific details vs. general language Show, don’t tell Reflect


Where is the elaboration?

The main reason I love Halloween is the candy. Oh my gosh, it’s like heaven—even for big kids. What I’m trying to say is that my mom lets me collect and eat all the mini candy bars, fruity treats, and sour chewies that I can. When I get to heaven, it will have all those kinds of candy. Last year, I was running out the door at 5:30, pillowcase in hand, hitting the houses in my neighborhood with my friend Steven. You might not believe it but I got 237 individual servings of candy, and it was my highest record yet. I figure at 20 pieces a day it took me 12 days to polish it all off. There’s nothing better than candy if you’re a kid.



Last year, I was running out the door at 5:30, pillowcase in hand, hitting the houses in my neighborhood with my friend Steven. ANECDOTE



You might not believe it, but I got 237 individual servings of candy, and it was my highest record yet. I figure at 20 pieces a day, it took me 12 days to polish it all off.STATISTICS


Recognizing Elaboration with a Partner

The following paragraphs are also about Halloween. Working with your partner, use your Elaboration Strategies handout to help you highlight and label the strategies in each of these paragraphs.

What kinds of elaboration do you find most effective in these paragraphs?

What kinds are easy to recognize?

copyright 2006 washington ospi. all rights reserved. what is elaboration?

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