JACKSON’S BAYOU, LA -The massive oil spill in theGulf of Mexico has finallybeen stopped thanks to aningenious solution from theUpper Peninsula. The spill,which has been spewingmillions of gallons of crudeoil from a damaged BritishPetroleum offshore oil wellfor weeks, was stopped by an

idea from local painter andcopper salesman, Albert“Ally” DeDenardo.

“I saw da news on ChannelSix about dat spill in da Gulf,dere, and I remembered howdem pasties can plug me upsomethin’ fierce so I sez to mybrudder Bobbo: “Why notgive ‘em a try?””

Volume 1 Number 1“ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO SLICE, DICE OR MASH”August 2010

Yooper TechnologyStops Gulf Oil Spill

Portage Waterway ToGet New BridgeUsed Span Purchased On eBay

see GULF , page 6

Y of MClass of ‘45ReunionHeld

“Copper”of CopperCountry AHoax

Commentary byWalter Crankcase,Page 3

We Need Your FunnyStuf f Page 2

INDEX

da

R R R R Rutabagautabagautabagautabagautabaga

HIGHLIGHTS

SPORTSYooper-versity ofMichigan Gut s FrisbeeTeam Chickens OutPAGE 9

SCIENCENew Study FindsNewspaper ReadersAre Highly GulliblePAGE 11

MONEYHot Keweenaw JobsThis Summer: SellingPretty Rocks T oTourist s;UnemploymentCounselorPAGE 10

WEATHER

EARLY AUGUSTMostly Sunny When It sNot Raining; Highs OnBrockway Mount ain,Lows In V alleys

LATE AUGUSTChance of Snow 10%Back To SchoolCloudiness T oward EndOf Month

DA WEDDER

Front.....................Page 1Middle..............Pages 2-7Back.....................Page 8

The Portage Lift Bridge will soon have a new sister spanto ensure that the Keweenaw has reduntant access.

FREE FREE

INSIDE

See BRIDGE , page 4

H O U G H TO N - L o c a lgovernment and tourismofficials have announced thatthe Keweenaw will soon begetting another bridge to spanthe Portage Waterway.

“This purchase heralds a newera of transportation safetyand economic prosperity forthe Keweenaw”, crowedMervin Milquetoast,spokesperson for theKeweenaw Smart EconomicTourism DevelopmentChamber Zone Council(KSETDCZC). “People havehad concerns about thePortage Lift Bridge being theonly way to get from the area

north of the bridge to the restof the world. They have alsohad concerns about our localeconomy. Well, this simplesolution answers both thoseconcerns.”

The KSETDCZC pressrelease indicates that theadditional bridge will belocated so that one end willconnect to the existinghighway M-26 on theHoughton side and the otherend will connect to theexisting U.S.-41/M-26 on theHancock side. The size of theadditional bridge – five mileslong – brings some challenges

The Yooper-versity ofMichigan Class of 1945held its 65th reunion on July15th. The entire graduatingclass was able to attend.He had a “swell time”.

Rupert “Magnificent” Mutt,the one and only graduateof the Y of M in 1945, saidthe event was a long timecoming.

“Frankly, since I’m the onlyone in the class, I did notbother to have a reunionuntil now,” said Mutt. “Imean, really, why in theheck would I?”

Mutt had a distinguishedacademic career at theYooper-versity. He was theClass President, thevaledictorian, and he hadan outstanding sportsrecord. In addition to beingthe captain of all the sportsteams, he led his teams toperfect seasons.

See REUNION , page 7

The Metal WasNever Dug HereCOPPEROPOLIS, MI -Copper was never mined inMichigan’s “CopperCountry”, if a recentdiscovery is to be believed.

Researchers at MichiganTechnological Yooper-versityhave uncovered documentsand artifacts that seem toprove that copper miningnever actually occurred on theKeweenaw Peninsula.

“I’m afraid it’ s true,” saidWilbur Wisdumtuth, anarchaeology professor fromthe Y of M’s Department ofDigging Old Stuff (DODOS).“The metal was never here.Actual copper mining nevertook place here.”

Wisdumtuth and his graduatestudents have uneartheddocuments and artifacts thatshow that the name “CopperCountry” was made up byearly residents of the area. Ata press conference early thismonth, Dr. Wisdumtuth heldup some papers and anunusual item with large letterson it: An old wooden signwith the words “Welcome toMichigan’s Wood Country”painted on it.

“These documents werefound in the drawer of an olddesk recently purchased at theCopperopolis St. VincentLombardi Thrift Shop,” saidWisdumtuth. “The stunningcontents of these documentsshow that local residents and

See COPPER, page 5

da RutabagaPublished Monthly

(or sometimes less often depending on hownice it is outside; whether we “need” to go fishing,snowshoeing, etc.; or if we stayed up to late watchingour latest Netflix.)

By The

Some wise person once said something like “All life is politics,” or something to that effect. Since da Rutabaga isabout life, it is therefore about politics.

da Rutabaga is fiercely independent in its politics. We are equal opportunity satirists – everybody is fair game.Plenty of Democrats make donkeys of themselves and plenty of Republicans are white elephants – all with no helpfrom us. Liberal; Conservative; Red; Blue; Green or Pinko Commie – whatever label you paint yourself with (andwe have a love/hate relationship with those silly labels) – we do not aim to offend you personally. It’s your politicswe laugh at (wink).

We are all human. Being human, we are all interesting critters. Sometimes we look a the news and groan. Oftenwe at da Rutabaga look at the news and chuckle - here comes some more interesting stuff to write about.

If da Rutabaga is opposed to anything, we are amazed by people who refuse to even consider the remote possibility,no matter how remote, that they may not have all the answers. None of us have all the answers, friends, do we?

And, we are also against those clear hard plastic packages that some products are sealed in. You ever try to openone of those without slicing your arm off……?

da Rutabaga Politics: Fiercely Independent; Equal Opportunity Satirists

August 20102 da Rutabaga

Yes, why not? Why not have apublication in the Keweenaw thattries to tickle your funny bone? Thesedays, we residents of the Keweenawneed something to bring a smile to ourfaces, eh? With fun things happeninglike a war in Afghanistan, hardeconomic times, a humongous globof crude oil in the Gulf of Mexico,and the same ‘ol same ‘ol loads ofhorse hockey in Washington andLansing, - we Copper Country folksneed a chuckle or two.

Why call it “da Rutabaga”? Well, forstarters, in a place with a kooky namelike “the Keweenaw”, we need aname for our publication that isequally silly looking. So, why notname our little creation after a rootvegetable that is little known to some,but consumed by many of us pastyeaters – the lowly rutabaga. Just sayit out loud to yourself – “root-ah-bay-ga”. Sounds goofy, don’t it? Nuffsaid.

And, those of you who are (ahem)well read (major wink), will recognizethat the name da Rutabaga is a nod tothe now nationally esteemednewspaper and web site called TheOnion (which was started by thosecow-tippers from Madison,

Wisconsin dere, eh?). If you are notas well read as some of us, you cango to theonion.com and take a peek.We hope to simulate some of thegeneral ideas of irreverent satire thatThe Onion is known for – but withoutthe F-bombs and sometimes veryadult level subject matter they are alsoknown for.

And last, but way not least, daRutabaga is a tribute to the legacy thathas been bestowed upon us by suchicons of American culture as MadMagazine (and its wannabe littlebrother, Cracked); NationalLampoon; Saturday Night Live; TheCapitol Steps; Monty Python; Dr.Demento; and his illustrious protégé(ta dah!) – Weird Al Yankovic. Andso on and so forth.

If you don’t have any idea who orwhat any of these names are, there isstill time to check them out. Googlethe above mentioned names.Hopefully you’ll get at least onechuckle out of one of them. And then,read on here in da Rutabaga. If youstill don’t get at least one little grinfrom da Rutabaga, well – at least youdidn’t pay too much for it, eh?

If you do like it, as the great poet/philosopher Axl Rose sang:“Welcome to the jungle…”

(Wow. Quotes from George BernardShaw and Axl Rose in the same article– now that’s fine journalism!)

Da Rutabaga welcomessubmissions from writers;photographers, cartoonists, etc.We need jokes, funny stories (trueand otherwise), odd headlinesfrom other publications, excerptsfrom your humorous publications,cartoons, photographs, etc., etc.While we will consider generalsubject material, we really likematerial that has something to dowith the Keweenaw or at least theU.P.

WE CANNOT PAY YOU FORYOUR WORK!

However, we will credit your workwith your name, publicize yourother work, and list any webaddress or other contactinformation you wish. And, youcan write in your resume that youare a published author in the DaRutabaga. Woohoo!

Da Rutabaga staff alone willdecide what material will bepublished or not, based on whatwe think is funny and/orappropriate for publication in ouresteemed newspaper.

All submissions should be inelectronic form (MS Word doc filespreferred for text, jpg’s for images)and submitted to us atkeweenawpress@gmail.com.While we will allow you to use pennames in print, we must have yourreal name and full contactinformation with your material oryour submission will be not beused.

By sending us your material youare giving us permission to useyour material in our publicationsin any format withoutcompensation as we see fit(including editing). All materialssubmitted should be your originalwork or be properly attributed toits original source.

Welcome to da Rutabaga!

Why “da Rutabaga”? Irish writerGeorge Bernard Shaw is quoted assaying: “You see things; and you say‘Why?’ But I dream things that neverwere and I say, ‘Why not?’”.

HELP WANTED: Writers;Photographers; Cartoonists; Etc.

Welcome To daRutabaga!

Approximately 5,000 copies distributedthrough advertisers’ sites, tourism informa-tion sites, pasty parlors, bait shops, (and,

eventually at darutabaga.com.

The Keweenaw Press Staff:

Julie CurtisPublisher/President/Graphics

&Da Boss Lady

Jim CurtisEditor/Vice President/Writer

&History Geek

Jessica CurtisArt Consultant

&Creative Teenager

Spc. Joshua J. Curtis - U.S. ArmyRemote Humor Advisor

&Favorite Son

Keweenaw Press310 W. Douglass AveHoughton, MI 49931

906-482-5874keweenawpress@gmail.comwww.keweenawpress.com

All content copywrited by the KeweenawPress.

Unauthorized use of content will result inthe scoundrel being thrown into a snowdriftfull of hungry Copper Country snow sharks

(and a courtroom full of legal sharks).In other words: “Ask first, eh?”

Send Us Your FunnyStuf f!

keweenawpress@gmail.com

3Volume 1 Number 1da Rutabaga

da Rutabaga is pleased to welcomeWalter Crankcase, world renowned

journalist to our staff. Mr.Crankcase recently moved to the

Copper Country after a long careerin television news. An unfortunate

bocce ball accident almost endedhis life, but now the veteran

newscaster is on a roll and hascome out of retirement to provide us

with commentary on current events.Due to his recent injury Mr.

Crankcase is no longer able to reador write and gets all his news from

his 1956 RCA Victor AM radio. Weseek his wisdom in interviews like

this one. Read and learn.

da Rutabaga: “Mr. Crankcase, weare so happy you could join us hereat Da Rutabaga.”

Crankcase: “What? The RubyBagel? What in the heck is theRuby Bagel? I thought this wasCNN.”

da Rutabaga: “ No, sir, as weexplained to your agent, we are DaRutabaga, the Keweenaw’s premierhumor newspaper.

Crankcase: “That weasel agent ofmine has been taking advantage ofme ever since my accident. I don’thear as well as I used to so he usesthat to trick me into all sorts ofdeals just so he can get his tenpercent.”

da Rutabaga: “Well, er…., wearen’t paying you anything for thisso he will get ten percent ofnothing.”

Crankcase: “Ha! That’s exactlywhat he deserves. Let’s get thisinterview rolling.”

da Rutabaga: “Well Mr.Crankcase, why don’t you just startoff with any current event subjectyou wish to comment on?”

Crankcase: “Fine. How aboutillegal immunization? I think it’sterrible that illegal immunizationhas gotten to be such a problem thatstates like Arizona has to passspecial laws to stop it. Somebodyon TV said that without illegalimmunization a lot of work will notget done because Americans don’twant to do it. I think that’s a lot ofbunk. We have plenty of doctorsand nurses to give us shots legally.Let’s let them do it.

da Rutabaga: “Uh, sir, I thing youmean illegal immigration. Youknow, when people who aren’tsupposed to be here cross ourborders without our permission.”

Crankcase: “Oh, yeah! Thosecheese heads from Wisconsin reallyare becoming that much of aproblem up here, eh? I know whatyou’retalkingabout.I raninto oneof thosecowtipperstheotherday.All hecouldtalk about was some sort of rockand roller environmentalist churchor somethin’. It was ‘Green DayPastors, this, Green Day Pastorsthat.’ I couldn’t get a word inedgewise.”

da Rutabaga: “No, no, I’m talkingabout people from another countrycrossing over illegally into ours.”

Crankcase: “Ah, yup, I know whatyou mean. Those pesky Canadiansare a menace.”

da Rutabaga: “Never mind. Howabout another subject?”

Crankcase: “Okay, how abouthealthcare? I hear that Congress haspassed a law that people say issocializing our healthcare system. Ifor one am all for it. Healthcareneeds a lot of socializing if you askme. Why, I was in to see the doc at

Portable Health the other day. Iwaited half an hour, then waswhisked into a room, the doctorrolled right in and did not even sayhello. Before I know it he wasdoing something to me that I willnot discuss in public. Said he waschecking to see if I was a Protestant,or something. How rude! HEneeds some socialization skills.”

daRutabaga:“Whoa,I’m notgoingthere.”

Crankcase:“Pleasedon’t,thank youvery much.

And how about that sulphur mimethey want to have over byMarquette? I don’t knowwhat sulpher has to do withmimes, but I know Ihaven’t seen a mime thatdidn’t stink. They’realways wearing that clownmakeup and pretendingthey’re in a box. Sheesh,get a new act, eh? And theysay the sulphur mime mighthurt a yellow dog. Nowthat’s just NOT right.Cruelty to animals is wrongno matter what color theyare. Say, did I ever tell youabout our little bassethound Lyndon? I namedhim after PresidentJohnson. I told my wife itwas because the dog andthe man looked sort of thesame, but really it was

And That’ s The Way It Isn’t: August 2010Commentary By A Journalism Legend

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because of what happened wheneither of them ate barbecue beans.Holy, mackerel, talk aboutsulphur…!

da Rutabaga: “Enough,ENOUGH! Well, that’s all the timewe have for now, folks. Read DaRutabaga next month formore…well…more something fromMr. Walter Crankcase – who quitefrankly was the only nationallyknown journalist we could talk intoworking for us.”

Crankcase: “But wait, I just gettingready to talk about that new childactor, Baby Gaga….”

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The city councils of Houghton and Hancock, in a joint resolution, havevoted to rename their cities. This move is being made in conjunction withthe purchase of the “new” bridge that will be placed over the PortageWaterway and the related “re-branding” of the Keweenaw as planned bythe Keweenaw Smart Economic Tourism Development Chamber ZoneCouncil (KSETDCZC).

What has been the City of Houghton will now be named “Mackynaw City”.Hancock will now be called “Saynt Ignis”

In related news, the National Park Service is considering changing name ofIsle Royale to “Mackynac Island”.

August 20104 da Rutabaga

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to be worked out. The south end willbe somewhere past the CopperCountry Mall. The north end will beout past the Quincy Mine building.

“A few annexations of township landsinto the cities, a few re-routing ofstreets – no big deal,” saidMilquetoast. “And, we can turn theMall into a fort,” chortled thespokesman.

Milquetoast was referring to thesecond half of the plan which calls forwhat the KSETDCZC press releasecalls “tourist re-education” and “re-branding” of the Keweenaw in theminds of potential visitors.

“Tourism in the Straits of Mackinacarea pulls in millions of dollars. Whynot tap into that existing branding andre-direct it to the Keweenaw?” said

Milquetoast. “Why should MackinawCity and St. Ignace get all the money?It’ s a long drive to the UpperPeninsula. People are a bit glassyeyed by the time they get to thesouthern edges. They’ll never noticea few extra hours to get up here to theKeweenaw,” the KSETDCZCspokesman hypothesized.

As a part of that re-branding somelocal names may be changed (seeaccompanying article) and some localbuildings will be re-purposed. A partof that plan is to cover the outside ofthe Copper Country Mall withstockade type cedar posts and changeits look to one of a 1700’s trading fortlike Fort Michilimackinac inMackinaw City.

The “new” bridge was purchased oneBay for a mere $10,001 from an eBayseller with the user name:“MIGovLady1” located in Lansing,

Michigan. No other identifyinginformation about the seller wasavailable at press time, but the eBaylisting mentioned that the seller wasliquidating her assets because “…I’llbe moving in January and I need thecash.”

BRIDGEContinued From Page 1

New Names for Houghtonand HancockNow: “Mackynaw City” And “Saynt Ignis”

TheKeweenaw’sNewBridgeThis artist’ s rendition of theKeweenaw’s new bridgeshows the “previouslyowned” span in its proposedlocation. Officials say theonly steps left are to wait forthe check to clear PayPal (nota problem) and to make de-livery arrangements (maybea bit more of a problem).

5da Rutabaga Volume 1 Number 1

businessmen conspired together tomislead the rest of the world aboutthe Keweenaw. Clues in thedocuments led us to dig in a locationwhere we found many artifacts toback up the document’s veracity,including this sign.”

The documents outline a complexscheme that involved diggingnumerous mine shafts into rock thatheld no valuable metals at all. Theplans also show that ships that weresupposed to appear to be coming tothe area to pick up copper actuallybrought the copper with them fromelsewhere. They unloaded the copperonto the docks in the secrecy of thenight and then made a show of loadingthe “Copper Country” copper into theships during the day.

“This sign and other artifacts – smallspoons, snow globes, tee shirts andother items made for the tourist shops– all show that the original name ofthis area was actually ‘WoodCountry’,” said Wisdumtuth. “Thedocuments also show that locals wereconcerned about slow sales of the‘Wood Country’ items, and that a wayhad to be found to make theKeweenaw more appealing topotential vacationers to the area. Ifyou think about it, ‘Wood Country’ isnot very original or exciting. ‘CopperCountry’ is a lot more interesting.”

The DODOS researcher stopped shortof confirming that any politicalmotivation was involved in “re-branding” of the Wood Country.Others, however, were quick to jumpon the news.

“This is clear evidence of a socialistconspiracy to invade the UpperPeninsula of Michigan,” assertedThomas Wulfbain, spokesperson forthe Manitou Center, a think tanklocated on the Keweenaw’s ManitouIsland. “A number of people whocame here during the so called ‘coppermining’ days were Socialists fromEurope. Look it up. Radical unionrabble-rousers were causing laborunrest all over our beloved countryback in those days. Look it up. Thisnew evidence confirms our long heldsuspicions that the copper mines werejust an excuse for the United Nationsto bring in hordes of reds to Americansoil in the 1800’s and early 1900’s,”said Wulfbain.

These statements brought a swiftresponse from a group called PeopleEducating Everybody PeacefullySociety (PEEPS).

“We believe this new information isevidence of the ruling class of robberbaron businesspeople and despoilersof nature once again pushing theirmoney-grubbing agenda on theworking people of Earth,” saidMartha Fealgude, spokesperson forPEEPS. “This plot was contrived sothat big business could lay waste tothe Keweenaw, plain and simple.”

Professor Wisdumtuth did not seemto buy into either of the two camps ofopinion.

“I sorta think that the local folks justwanted to sell a few more snow globesand feed their families,” said theresearcher.

In reaction to the astonishing newinformation, numerous special

COPPERContinued from page 1

investigative committees have beenrushed into action by theCopperopolis City Council; theCopperopolis CountyCommissioners; twentysix State ofMichigan agencies; and several

hundred federal and national entities,including the EnvironmentalProtection Agency and the Drink MilkCampaign. Over 1,567 publichearings have already been scheduled.Stay tuned.

This is the cover of a book published in 2001 by QuentinDodd. Amazon and other sites give it high marks. Thetarget age range is 9-12 year olds, but it looks like fun.Maybe we’ll give it a try (we’ve always read above our

mental age)

Do you know of other rutabaga trivia? Please send it to us atkeweenawpress@gmail.com. Thanks.

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DeDenardo and his brother, Robert“Bobbo” DeDenardo, gathered everypasty they could find in theKeweenaw (about 16,000), loadedthem in their uncle’s panel van, andheaded to Louisiana.

Once there they linked up with theircousin Jack “Jacko” Jackson, whohappens to be a helicopter pilot forthe United States Coast Guard.

“We stuck dem pasties inta a bigshrimp net, slung ‘em under Jacko’schopper and flew ‘em out to da leak.”said Ally DeDenardo. “We used dascopes from our deer rifles to helpJacko get da proper aim and, whamo,dropped dem pasties down da chute.”

The oil leak was immediatelystopped.

The DeDenardo brothers’ commonsense solution has garnered praisefrom far and wide, including from theWhite House. President BarackObama hailed the two Yoopers ashero’s.

“America owes a great debt to thesemen,” said Obama. “Who wouldhave thought that such a hugeproblem could be solved by such asimple solution? A simple solutionfrom two people from another countrylike Upper Michigan?” Instead of aWhite House medal ceremony theDeDenardo brothers have requestedlifetime season passes to Green BayPacker games.

“I believe they’ll have to settle for themedals” quipped the President.“Even I don’t have the pull to getPacker season tickets.”

A side benefit to the pasty plugsolution for BP is that the well is nowproducing tremendous amounts ofnatural gas.

“We may have made the mostimportant alternative energydiscovery of the twenty first century”,said BP spokesman Ole S. Lick.

Seeing the natural gas side effect, anumber of big companies are lookinginto developing pasty-to-energygeneration facilities. Lard andrutabaga futures trading has hit an alltime high.

PLUGContinued From Page 1

da Rutabaga is a humor publication thatsometimes (well often, really) tries topoke fun at the all too serious real worldwith fictitious stories. That means some(a lot, really) of this stuff is made up, fake,contrived, fabricated, and otherwiseentirely not true. That’s what we do –make stuff up.

Any public figures are fair game. Sorryyou guys, you made yourselves targets(easy targets often, thank you) by steppinginto the limelight. Any resemblance ofany characters/subjects in our stories toreal, private individuals is purelycoincidental. If you actually are a trulynon-public life form and you believe weare writing about you – don’t flatteryourself. We probably ain’t.

Also, da Rutabaga is NOT a publicationintended for children. While we maysometimes seem childish in our behaviorand juvenile in our sense of humor (andoften proud of it!), our target audience isnot the tots and teen set. If you are aresponsible parent, you will already bemonitoring what your children read. Ifyou think da Rutabaga is appropriate forthe little ones – let ‘em read it. If not,don’t.

For those rare young people who readdisclaimers – please be aware that someMommies and Daddies may not wantyou to read Da Rutabaga. Don’t blameus if they get mad at you for readingthis drivel. If you are a responsibleyoung person, you will already bemonitoring what your parents read - andwhat they know you are reading. Hidethis publication in appropriately securelocations as you deem necessary.

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Volume 1 Number 1da Rutabaga 7

“My teams really dominated the guysfrom other schools,” stated Mutt.“Because of World War Two, all ofthe teams in our conference had onlyone guy. Everybody else was offfighting. Those of us who were leftat home had some sort of physicalcondition that prevented us fromserving in the armed forces. Mine wasnot as bad as most of the other guys,so I did pretty well out there on thefields, the courts, and the rinks.”

Mutt’s condition that made him 4F forthe draft was his enormous size 21feet. Being only four foot six madehis large feet even more noticeable.

“Yah, I looked like a circus clown, butI really kicked butt,” Mutt bragged,laughing. “Skiing, both downhill andcross-country, and hockey were myspecialty sports. I did not need skisor skates, so I was much more agileout there.”

When asked if that is why he got thenickname “Magnificent”, Muttchuckled.

“Nah, since I was the only one in myclass I got to pick out my ownnickname,” he admitted. “Well, that’snot entirely true. I did hear a few of

the ladies call me that,” said the fellowas he looked down at his feet, thenlooked up and smiled with a wink.

The Yooper-versity of Michigan Classof 1945 reunion festivities were prettylow key. Since all of Mutt’sprofessors have passed away, there isreally nobody around from the Y of

M who remembers anything about hisMutt’s college days.

“I just went over to the YBC in AnnHarbor and kicked back a few glassesof Ore Boat Bilge Ale,” said Mutt,referring to the Yooper BrewingCompany in that town and one of itsmore popular brews.

As most local folks know, the Yooper-versity of Michigan is located in AnnHarbor, Michigan, on the Keweenawcoast between Eagle Harbor andCopper Harbor. Its academic collegesand degrees focus on Keweenaw-centered curriculum. It is well knownfor its undergraduate degree in Rubus

Parviflorus Culinary Arts(Thimbleberry Jam Making), and forits doctoral program in AdvancedCuprum Entrepreneurial Arts (sellingcopper to tourists). That is thedegree Mutt eventually received in1950 and what led to his huge successin the business world.

“Yep, I did alright,” Mutt admitted.“I was the guy who developed thepractice of selling copper out of theback of a van on the side of the road.Before that, guys were selling copperfrom little red wagons in back alleys.With my method you get moretransportation capability and highervisibility.”

The breakthrough made Mutt awealthy man, he claims.

“You betcha. Every guy sellingcopper out of the back of his van hasto kick back a royalty payment to me,”boasted the PhD.

The success has lead to invitations tolecture at other colleges in the YooperConference. Mutt has taught at suchfamous institutions as Michigan StateYooper-versity in East L’Ansing,Wayne State Yooper-versity inDeTour, Central Michigan Yooper-versity in Mt. Arvon, NorthernMichigan Yooper-versity inGreenwood Location, and, of course,Michigan Technological Yooper-versity in Copperopolis.

When asked if there will be anotherreunion for the Class of ’45, Dr. Muttanswered with a query of his own:

“Why?” said “Magnificent” Muttwith a grimace and a shrug.

REUNIONContinued from page 1

Class of

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2010August 13th, 14th and 15th

2011August 12th, 13th and 14th

$3.00 Admission Free ParkingGem and Mineral Show

Several door Prize DrawingsPhychic Readings &

Healing ArtsLectures: DrumsJewelry & Crafts

Native Copper Lapis Lazuli Amethyst Cathedrals

Our Eimco Overshot Mucker was used to scoop uploose materials in the mine and throw it over the top

into the cars behind it.

STORE HOURS

PROSPECTOR’S PARADISEWE SELL MINERALS, GEMS

AND FOSSILS

prosectorsparadise@gmail.com

One of the largest mineral displays in the world