Volume 1 Number 2“ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO SLICE, DICE OR MASH”September 2010

We Need Your FunnyStuf f Page 2

INDEX

da

R R R R Rutabagautabagautabagautabagautabaga

HIGHLIGHTS

SPORTSYooper-versity ofMichigan Snow ScoopTeam Scraping ThroughFall PracticesPAGE 9

SCIENCENew Study FindsNewspaper Editors AreSomewhat SadisticPAGE 11

MONEYHot Stocks of LocalInterest: Quincy MiningCompany; Bosch Beer;Calumet and LacLaBelle RailroadPAGE 10

WEATHER

SEPTEMBERYah, you waited toolong to paint the porchfloor again this year, yabig dummy! RAIN, duh!

EARLY OCTOBERStrong chance of snowbeing seen in way tooearly Christmas storedisplays. Ugh!

DA WEDDER

Front.....................Page 1Middle..............Pages 2-7Back.....................Page 8

FREE FREE

INSIDE

Is Johnny Depp coming to theKeweenaw? According to ananonymous insider source,Mr. Depp is in the final stagesof negotiations for the leadingrole in an upcoming motionpicture about the life of Dr.Douglass Houghton.

“He’s fascinated by thecharacter and he’s very closeto committing,” claimed oursource. “Johnny is really

Depp As Dr. Houghton?Famous ActorMay PortrayFamous Explorer

Johnny Depp Dr. Douglass Houghton

psyched about the possibilitybringing his unique actingtalents to the role of Dr.Houghton.”

Douglass Houghton is mostfamous for being the personwho invented copper mining

See Depp on Page 6

Houghton residents shouldbe aware that a cougar hasbeen sighted numeroustimes recently, according tothe Michigan Departmentof Wildlife (MDOW).

“Yes, it is true,” saidMDOW spokespersonSteve Ermine. “We areofficially acknowledgingthat, yes, cougars exist inMichigan and, yes, therehave been authenticatedsightings in the City ofHoughton.”

Despite many claims overthe years, cougars have notofficially recognized asbeing in Michigan byMDOW until just recently.

Ermine also went on toexplain that MichiganTechnological Studentsshould be especially alertbecause the cougar hasbeen known to prowl nearthe MTU campus and innearby areas wherestudents have been knownto congregate.

“I don’t want to cause apanic, but the cougar hasbeen observed stalkingMichigan Tech students,”said Ermine. “She, thecougar is a female, seemsto especially prefer youngmales between the ages of18 to about 25 years of age.With Tech having a veryhigh ratio of males tofemales, the campus andsurrounding locales are aprime hunting ground forthis predator.”

CougarSighted InHoughton

See Cougar on page 3

New Guest ColumnistStops Watching Foot-ball Long Enough ToWrite About WatchingFootballPage 5

In an effort to attract more students to their school, and to tieinto existing student activities, the Board of Control ofMichigan Technological University has instituted a numberof new majors and programs. Degrees in these programscould be granted as early as Spring 2011 for existing studentswho have had considerable relevant experience.

New Undergraduate Degrees/Programs and TheirAcronyms:

REO: Recreational Electronics Operation – Xbox, PS andWii addicts, here you go. Some students may already haveaccumulated enough playing time to qualify for advanceddegrees and even post-doctoral credit.

BP: Beer Pongology – For those who are followers of thebouncing ball.

SS&M: Snow Sports & Monster – For skiers, snowboarders, and snow shoe-ers who love to gulp energy drinksand go outdoors.

WPA: Winter Precipitation Ar chitecture – Find lucrativecareers in winter carnivals worldwide.

HBO: Hockey and Basketball Observation – for thoseof you whose main purpose in life is cheering the Huskiesat the SDC. If you’re good enough you could turn pro!

PB&J: Pep Band and Jeeps – Maybe these two don’tnecessarily go together, but, hey, the acronym looked goodand Huskies do love both.

BK: Br oomball Kinesiology – slip and slide your wayinto a new career.

New Degrees At Tech

The recent trend of moneysaving privatization in thelocal K-12 schools has nowbeen taken to its fullestlevel.

The Board of the CopperCountry United District(CCRUD) votedunanimously at itsSeptember meeting toprivatize the last remainingvestiges of the “public”part of public schools – thechildren and the peoplewho teach them.

“We’ve privatizedeverything else – thecustodians, the cooks, thebus drivers and even theprincipals – the kids andteachers were the onlythings left,” said CCRUDBoard President Penelope“Penny” Pinscher.

Under the new plan,students and teachers will

PrivatizationContinues At

LocalSchools

See School on page 6 See Degrees on page 3

da RutabagaPublished Monthly

(or sometimes less often depending on how nice it isoutside; whether we “need” to go fishing,

snowshoeing, etc.; or if we stayed up to late watchingour latest Netflix.)

By The

Some wise person once said something like “All life is politics,” or something to that effect. Since da Rutabaga isabout life, it is therefore about politics.

da Rutabaga is fiercely independent in its politics. We are equal opportunity satirists – everybody is fair game.Plenty of Democrats make donkeys of themselves and plenty of Republicans are white elephants – all with no helpfrom us. Liberal; Conservative; Red; Blue; Green or Pinko Commie – whatever label you paint yourself with (andwe have a love/hate relationship with those silly labels) – we do not aim to offend you personally. It’s your politicswe laugh at (wink).

We are all human. Being human, we are all interesting critters. Sometimes we look a the news and groan. Oftenwe at da Rutabaga look at the news and chuckle - here comes some more interesting stuff to write about.

If da Rutabaga is opposed to anything, we are amazed by people who refuse to even consider the remote possibility,no matter how remote, that they may not have all the answers. None of us have all the answers, friends, do we?

And, we are also against those clear hard plastic packages that some products are sealed in. You ever try to openone of those without slicing your arm off……?

da Rutabaga Politics: Fiercely Independent; Equal Opportunity Satirists

September 20102 da Rutabaga

HELP WANTED: Writers;Photographers; Cartoonists; Etc.

Welcome To daRutabaga!

Approximately 5,000 copies distributedthrough advertisers’ sites, tourism informa-tion sites, pasty parlors, bait shops, (and,

eventually at darutabaga.com.

The Keweenaw Press Staff:

Julie CurtisPublisher/President/Graphics

&Da Boss Lady

Jim CurtisEditor/Vice President/Writer

&History Geek

Jessica CurtisArt Consultant

&Creative Teenager

Spc. Joshua J. Curtis - U.S. ArmyRemote Humor Advisor

&Favorite Son

Keweenaw Press310 W. Douglass AveHoughton, MI 49931

906-482-5874keweenawpress@gmail.comwww.keweenawpress.com

All content copywrited by the KeweenawPress.

Unauthorized use of content will result inthe scoundrel being thrown into a snowdriftfull of hungry Copper Country snow sharks

(and a courtroom full of legal sharks).In other words: “Ask first, eh?”

Send Us Your FunnyStuf f!

keweenawpress@gmail.com

Da Rutabaga welcomessubmissions from writers;photographers, cartoonists, etc.We need jokes, funny stories (trueand otherwise), odd headlinesfrom other publications, excerptsfrom your humorous publications,cartoons, photographs, etc., etc.While we will consider generalsubject material, we really likematerial that has something to dowith the Keweenaw or at least theU.P.

WE CANNOT PAY YOU FORYOUR WORK!

However, we will credit your workwith your name, publicize yourother work, and list any webaddress or other contactinformation you wish. And, youcan write in your resume that youare a published author in the DaRutabaga. Woohoo!

Da Rutabaga staff alone willdecide what material will bepublished or not, based on whatwe think is funny and/orappropriate for publication in ouresteemed newspaper.

All submissions should be inelectronic form (MS Word doc filespreferred for text, jpg’s for images)and submitted to us atkeweenawpress@gmail.com.While we will allow you to use pennames in print, we must have yourreal name and full contactinformation with your material oryour submission will be not beused.

By sending us your material youare giving us permission to useyour material in our publicationsin any format withoutcompensation as we see fit(including editing). All materialssubmitted should be your originalwork or be properly attributed toits original source.

Why Da Rutabaga? Irish writerGeorge Bernard Shaw is quoted assaying: “You see things; and you say‘Why?’ But I dream things that neverwere and I say, ‘Why not?’”.

Yes, why not? Why not have apublication in the Keweenaw that triesto tickle your funny bone? Thesedays, we residents of the Keweenawneed something to bring a smile to ourfaces, eh? With fun things happeninglike a war in Afghanistan, hardeconomic times, a humongous globof crude oil in the Gulf of Mexico,and the same ‘ol same ‘ol loads ofhorse hockey in Washington andLansing, - we Copper Country folksneed a chuckle or two.

Why call it Da Rutabaga? Well, forstarters, in a place with a kooky namelike “Keweenaw”, we need a name forour publication that is equally sillylooking. So, why not name our littlecreation after a root vegetable that islittle known to some, but consumedby many of us pasty eaters – the lowlyrutabaga. Just say it out loud toyourself – “root-ah-bay-ga”. Soundsgoofy, don’t it? Nuff said.

And, those of you who are (ahem)well read (major wink), will recognizethat the name Da Rutabaga is a nodto the now nationally esteemednewspaper and web site called TheOnion (which was started by thosecow-tippers from Madison,Wisconsin dere, eh?). If you are not

as well read as some of us, you cango to theonion.com and take a peek.We hope to simulate some of thegeneral ideas of irreverent satire thatThe Onion is known for – but withoutthe F-bombs and sometimes veryadult level subject matter they are alsoknown for.

And last, but way not least, DaRutabaga is a tribute to the legacy thathas been bestowed upon us by suchicons of American culture as MadMagazine (and its wannabe littlebrother, Cracked); Saturday NightLive; The Capitol Steps; MontyPython; Dr. Demento; and hisillustrious protégé (ta dah!) – WeirdAl Yankovic. And so on and so forth.

If you don’t have any idea who orwhat any of these names are, you sofar have truly lived a sheltered anddeprived life (and maybe you won’tthink any of the stuff in this rag isfunny). However, there is still hopefor you. Google the above mentionednames, hopefully get at least onechuckle out of one of them, and thenread on here in Da Rutabaga. If youstill don’t get at least one little grinfrom it, well – at least you didn’t paytoo much for it, eh?

If you do like it, as the great poet/philosopher Axl Rose sang:“Welcome to the jungle…” (Quotesfrom George Bernard Shaw and AxlRose in the same article – now that’sfine journalism!)

Great Journalism At Its Gr eatest, Sort Of

3Volume 1 Number 2

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The wildlife expert said that placeswhere younger males seem tocongregate at night – bars andparties at fraternities and privateresidences – are especially highrisk locations for attacks by thisparticular cougar.

“This beast seems to sense thatsome of these young fellows are,how shall we say it, not veryexperienced with wild creatureslike cougars. She appears to waitin the shadows and move in for thekill when the young men areinebriated and less likely to be ableto defend themselves,” saidErmine.

There have not been any deaths orsevere injuries reported so far.However, young men are cautionedto be on the alert.

“Yah, there have been a few closecalls, mostly guys getting scratchedup pretty bad before they managedto escape,” said Ermine. “That’sas far as we know. We believe thatmore guys have been roughed upby this cougar but are reluctant toreport the incidents – possiblybecause they are afraid no one willbelieve them or that they might getlaughed at. Believe me, this is nolaughing matter.”

Ermine gave this advice to youngmale MTU students:

“Stay alert and stay together. Thiscougar is an experienced hunterand knows how to bring down herprey. My best advice is that forevery group of young males, adesignated cougar lookout or DCLis appointed. The DCL should staysober and stay on watch so he canprotect his group from cougars andother potentially dangerouswildlife.”

Anyone sighting this cougar shouldreport her whereabouts to local lawenforcement officials or to Ermineat the MDOW at 555-1234.

Cougar(continued from page 1)

RCA: Ramen Culinary Ar ts – forthose of you who live by threewords: rip, pour and nuke!

FYI: Facebook, YouTube andInstant Messaging – Be a SocialNetWorker.

BA: Bacon Appr eciation -Everything and anythingconsidering the Food of the Gods:Bacon. A Minor in Chocolate and/or a Minor in Cheese are available.

WD-41: Wild Driving on U.S. 41– Don’t ask, don’t tell.

Graduate Programs

MBA-KS: Mountian BikingAr ts-Keweenaw Style - not for thefaint of heart but definately forthose who believe that two-wheeled, non-motorizedtransportation is Nirvana. Labs atthe Adventure Mine and at CopperHarbor are required.

MBA: Master of BrewAdministration – perquisite: Anyundergrad degree at Tech

MFA: Master of Four-by-FourArts – Muddin’ is an art form, eh?

Degrees(continued from page 1)

da Rutabaga

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If you’re anything like me, you needsomething to look forward to on aweekly basis. I’m talking about some-thing recreational. Hiking, hunting,fishing, camping, exploring, gettinglost: you know, the usual. And whilethose things really can be quite educa-tional and exhilarating, I tend to gravi-tate toward more active hobbies. Likewatching football games.

Nothing can cause quite the change inmy waistline as spending a good threehours (minus pre-game) sitting in thechair watching my favorite team. It’sa virtual guarantee that I’ll need a newpair of jeans every Monday morning.My wife must be worried I’ll overdo itbecause on many occasions she’s comeinto the living room during a game andsaid something to the effect of “Youreally ought to sit down and take abreak once in a while…” Whichreminds me, I should get a doctorappointment for her; she seems to havedeveloped a twitch in her right eye. It’sprobably nothing…

Yup, surrounding myself with the bestrefreshments available and all 16remote controls for a good ballgameis the best recreation next to, maybe,sleeping. (Sleep is a whole differentsubject worth considering. I’ll have todevote some real energy to describingthat wonderful gift sometime). As faras snacks are concerned, I can eat just

about anything, provided itconforms to two rules: 1) It musthave enough preservatives in it totan approximately 23 deer hides, and2) It needs to be in flashy packagingthat weighs less in ounces than itcosts in dollars. Drinks? I’m a fanof Diet Coke, myself- lots of it. I liketo have enough caffeine in me so bythe end of the fourth quarter I’mbiting my fingernails, bouncing myleg, and nervously shaking so muchthat incomplete passes look liketouchdowns (that trick has beenparticularly useful some seasons).Yet, no matter what you like forrefreshment, just remember: TheFood & Drug Administration haskindly made sure that all foods havea nutritional sticker affixed to thepackaging that describes how manycalories and grams of fat you willlose by consuming the product. Veryhelpful information….

So, this last weekend, I grabbed mycool drink with one hand, my snackwith the other, put my feet up infront of me, and watched the kickoff.About midway through the firstquarter, though, I realized thatshoulder soreness was starting to setin. I knew this because the jersey-clad fan in front of me turned aroundand said, “Hey buddy, do you mindputting your feet down? Thesoreness in my shoulders is startingto set in.” I guess I hadn’tappreciated that when you’reactually at the stadium for a gameinstead of in your own living room,you have to adapt your habitssomewhat. I replied, “Sure mister,no problem.” But it didn’t go so wellafter that because the guy next tohim stood up and said somethingabout me insulting his wife andknuckle sandwiches. I couldn’treally hear him over the crowd.

Yes, I was there last weekend to seethat travesty. Talk aboutheartbreaking! Seeing the looks onfans’ faces when they realized whatwas happening was just too much. I

mean, I was actually in tears…..$5.50is way too much for a glass of beer!Not only that, but my team lost too.That didn’t keep me from doing myshare of cheering and screamingthough. At one point the fan on myright yelled at me for the umpteenthtime about being little quieter, and Iturned and said, “Honey, if you’regoing to be like that, I’m not going tobring you next time.” She mumbledsomething about how excited she wasto be there anyway so I figured I musthave gotten my point across. Evenwith the $4.00 brats and $6.00popcorn, one football game and yourmarriage will never be the same.

I’ve been watching my team play fora long time and haven’t missed manygames. But I’ve always kept mypriorities straight, though. Quite a fewyears ago my son was due to be bornon a fall Sunday. Many of my friendslaughed and asked me what I woulddo if my wife went into labor thatafternoon during a game. My reply wasalways the same: “I’ll just have to tapeit.” Turns out my son was born on aMonday, but I always wondered ifhospital policy would’ve allowedsomeone in the deliveryroom with acamcorder…..

How To Watch A Football GameBy Owen Harrison(ienonen)

Here’s a column by a writer who wasgracious (foolish?) enough to answerour help wanted ad from the Augustissue. He said in his email that he hadspent some time in the Twin Cities (isthere a prison there?) and had seenThe Onion there AND that he thoughtda Rutabaga was a great idea. Well,Owen, (that’s a pen name - remembermy prison question?), flattery WILL getyou somewhere. Just be careful whatyou wish for...

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Do you know of other ruta-baga trivia? Please send it to

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Thanks.

Yah, They’r e Happy BecauseThey Eat Their Lard in Pasties

(Along With Rutabaga and SomeOther Stuf f)

September 20106 da Rutabaga

da Rutabaga is a humor publication thatsometimes (well often, really) tries topoke fun at the all too serious real worldwith fictitious stories. That means some(a lot, really) of this stuff is made up, fake,contrived, fabricated, and otherwiseentirely not true. That’s what we do –make stuff up.

Any public figures are fair game. Sorryyou guys, you made yourselves targets(easy targets often, thank you) by steppinginto the limelight. Any resemblance ofany characters/subjects in our stories toreal, private individuals is purelycoincidental. If you actually are a trulynon-public life form and you believe weare writing about you – don’t flatteryourself. We probably ain’t.

Also, da Rutabaga is NOT a publicationintended for children. While we maysometimes seem childish in our behaviorand juvenile in our sense of humor (andoften proud of it!), our target audience isnot the tots and teen set. If you are aresponsible parent, you will already bemonitoring what your children read. Ifyou think da Rutabaga is appropriate forthe little ones – let ‘em read it. If not,don’t.

For those rare young people who readdisclaimers – please be aware that someMommies and Daddies may not wantyou to read Da Rutabaga. Don’t blameus if they get mad at you for readingthis drivel. If you are a responsibleyoung person, you will already bemonitoring what your parents read - andwhat they know you are reading. Hidethis publication in appropriately securelocations as you deem necessary.

Da Disclaimer

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be supplied by Skoolz ‘R Us, a privatefirm based in Iron Valley, Michigan.Teachers will be hired by the companyat an upcoming job fair.

“We invite everyone to come on downto our UTeech job fair,” said ConradMann, a spokesperson for Skoolz ‘RUs. “And I mean everyone. No moreof that hoity toity stuff about collegedegrees or certification. We believethat anyone has something to teachchildren so we have an open mindedphilosophy about hiring.”

here in the Keweenaw while he wasMichigan’s first State Gemologist.While he has been portrayednumerous times in print, his true storywas revealed in the recent best seller,“Doug Didn’t Die: The Faked Deathof Douglass Houghton”. The book,written by local author JimmerElzinga and published by daRutabaga’s parent company, theKeweenaw Press, has caused a stormof controversy and gained theattention of Hollywood. The not yetofficially announced movie will bebased on “Doug Didn’t Die”.

“Johnny Depp is the leadingcontender for the role of DouglassHoughton because, in addition to his

well known acting skills, he hasextensive experience doinghistorically themed movies. The longlist of historical figures that Depp hasportrayed includes Captain JackSparrow, Sweeney Todd and WillieWonka,” our source stated.

In addition our source added, Depphas a lot of experience working onwater related movies, especially histhree Pirates of the Caribbean films.Houghton did most of his explorationusing water craft on the Great Lakes.In fact, Houghton officially died whilefishing in a boat in the Eagle Rivernear the Keweenaw town of the samename.

“Doug Didn’t Die” reveals thatHoughton’s death was faked by

Depp As Dr. Douglass Houghton?(continued from page 1)

pirates who were after the location ofa silver mine located somewhere inthe Keweenaw. Houghton had foundthe mine and was about to reveal itslocation through his upcoming officialreport as State Gemologist. Hisapparent death and loss of his fieldnotes was engineered to allow thepirates to force Dr. Houghton to helpthem find the silver and then keep itsecret.

The Depp/Doug movie has yet to begiven an official name, according toour source.

“They have a short list of possibletitles,” the source said. “The listincludes ‘Douggie and the SilverMine’; ‘Douglass Silver Hands’; and‘Pirates of Lake Superior’.

School(continued from page 1)

When asked where the children willcome from, Mann was less open.

“That’s proprietary information,” saidthe company representative. “Let’sjust say that the students will be verymotivated to succeed so that they willnot be “reverse relocated”, as we putit.”

“The pupils will be carefullyselected,” Ms. Pinscher quicklychimed in. “With this system we havethe opportunity to prioritize whatqualities we wish to have in ourstudents – academics, sports, music,etc. – and Skoolz ‘R Us will supply

what we order. We will have the beststudent body money can buy.”

Ms. Pinscher also pointed out that theschool district will be able to do allthis and save money as well.

“We are cutting the budget and savingmoney,” Pinscher stated proudly. “Wehave a responsibility to ourcommunity we serve to live within ourbudget. Isn’t that what public schoolsare all about?”

Pinscher then rushed out of thebuilding saying she could not talklonger because she had to go pick upher children from their private school.

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Michigan Technological Universitywill soon change its name. Beginningin January 2011 the University will beknown only as “MTU”.

The change came after a study doneby the firm, Lowest CommonDenominator Marketing, showed thatthe current name presented a numberof image problems for the school.

“For one thing, like, that name is justso…so frickin’ long,” moaned BuffyOffwhite, the local representative forLCD Marketing. “I mean, like, theword ‘Michigan’ is long enough byitself. Then you ad‘Techno…Technolow…Technologimacal’…orwhatever, AND ‘University’ and, like,it’s totally waaaay too long of a name.Especially for texting and stuff.”

Offwhite’s company was hired by theMichigan Technological UniversityBoard of Control to look into possiblecauses for student enrollment levelsthat are lagging below Boardexpectations. LCD Marketingconducted surveys and focus groupswith potential students and found thatthe University’s image was causing aproblem.

“Like, I get that you guys teach peoplehow to make important stuff like carsand computers and trees and rocks andstuff,” said Offwhite. “But, ya gotta,ya know, mellow out the name or kidsare just gonna be, like, totally turnedoff to your school.”

The traditional short versions of theUniversity’s name – “Michigan Tech”and “Tech” were also rejected by LCD.

“Way too much, like, they remindpeople that your school is about mathand science and other hard stuff,”observed Offwhite. “Totally NOT agood idea if you want people to even,like, think coming way up here in thesticks to do college.”

Surveys conducted on campusamong current students resulted in anumber of interesting possibilitiesfor a new name. A few specialinterest groups cropped up to lobbyfor their favorite names. A group ofscience fiction fans pushed for thename “Michigan Trek”, but supportwaned as fans of Star Wars andBattlestar Galactica split off in adispute over the “Trek” part of thename.

A group of computer science majorsproposed “WMBGBSYBWFUU”which stands for “We May Be Geeks,But Someday You’ll Be Working ForUs University”. The name wasrejected for being too long, but alsobecause Offwhite’s attempts atdiscussing the proposal werefruitless.

“Those guys, like, just sat there atour meetings, staring at me, textingeach other and giggling betweengulps of Monster,” said Offwhite.“They never actually, like, talked tome. It was kinda creepy.”

Another strong, but very brief,contender was promoted by a groupof student skiers, snow shoers, andsnowmobilers was “TOWS”, whichstands for “The Other WhiteSchool”. The promoters meant torefer to Michigan Tech as the otherschool in Michigan (besidesNorthern Michigan University andLake Superior State University) thathas significant snowfall in the winter.Once the obvious other meaning waspointed out the name was quicklywithdrawn.

“So, like, we could not think ofanything else, so we we’re stuck with‘MTU’, said Offwhite. “Just ‘MTU’,and the letters not standing foranything. It’s not too sexy, but atleast it’s easy to text.”

LCD’s next assignment is to findanother mascot name for the MTU.

“’Huskies’? Ugh!,” exclaimedOffwhite. “What girl in her rightmind wants to be called, like, a dogor a fat person? You have enoughtrouble getting the ladies up herewithout pinning a name like that onthem!”

Michigan Tech To Change Its Name

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Tan, 5.7L, Automatic, 4 x 41999 Chevrolet Tahoe Z71

Sale $6,995

Silver, 4.2L,2005 Chevrolet TrailblazerExtended LS

Sale $15,995 Automatic

Sale $6,995

Tan, 1.9L, Automatic, Front2002 Saturn SL2

Sale $10,995

2000 Ford E-350 Super DutyXLT Blue, Automatic, Rear Silver, 4.7 L, 4x4

Sale $15,995

2005 Jeep Grand CherokeeLar edo

Sale $7,995

Silver, 3.8 L , Automatic ,

Front

2002 Buick Lesabre Custom

Sale $14,995

Gray, 2.4 L, Automatic, Front2009 Chevrolet Malibu LS

Sale $6,995

Blue, 2.5 L, Automatic, 4x42003 Chevrolet Tracker ZR2

Sale $14,995

Red, 3.5 L Flex Fuel, Front2009 Chevrolet Impala LT

Sale $8,995

Green, 3.2 L, Automatic, Rear2001 Mercedes-Benz C320

Black, 5.2 L,Sale $2,995

1996 Jeep Grand CherokeeLar edoAutomatic

Maroon , 4.3L V8Sale $4,995

1996 Chevrolet CapriceClassic

Maroon, 2.7L, Auto, Front

Sale $4,995

1999 Dodge Intrepid ES

KEWEENAW AUTOMOTIVE INC.1500 Memorial Drive Houghton, MI 49931 | (906)-482-7988 Across from Walmart, M26 Houghton

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2003 Chevrolet Avalanche

2003 Jaguar X-Type 2005 Ford ExplorerColor: Tan NEW LISTING

1997 Chevrolet Blazer

2005 Chevrolet K-1500 X-Cab

Red, 5.3 L, Auto, 4x4

Sale $15,995

1500

Silver, 2.5 L, Automatic ,

A W D Sale $10,995

1998 Oldsmobile Silouette

Sale $3,995

Blue, 3.4 L, Automatic, Front

Maroon, 4.3 L, Automatic, 4x4

Sale $5,995

Black, 5.3 L, Auto, 4x4

Sale $17,995

Gray, 5.3 L, Automatic, 4x4

Sale $15,995

2005 Chevrolet Tahoe LS

Sale $6,995

2001 Chevrolet BlazerTrailblazer Grey, 4.3 L, 4x4

Black, 2.7L, Auto, 4 x 4

1999 Toyota Tacoma X-CabSR5

Sale $7,995

Sale $15,995