dead man talking' by thom goddard

7/31/2019 'Dead Man Talking' by Thom Goddard

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Dead Man Talking

by

Thom Goddard

Thom GoddardAll Star Talent3 Springfield Road, London, E4 7DJ

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Characters

SIMON LAMBERTON - A middle-aged, serious man who seemingly knowsabout money and has handled all the finances for the production. Does nothave an artistic bone in his body but is sensible and practical.

RICHARD DAVIES - A middle-aged, excitable and unrealistically positiveperson who has worked in the theatre for years. This production of King Learis his first directing role and his thinks of himself as an undiscovered, artisticgenius.

UNDERSTUDY / ASSISTANT STAGE MANAGER - A young, jobbing actor.He has appeared in famous plays and musicals but only in the chorus.However, he is a very talented puppeteer who graduated top of his acting

class in London. We never learn his name.

SIR THOMAS BETTERMAN / KING LEAR- An elderly, world-famous actorwho has won every international award and is seen as the greatestShakespearean actor of his generation.

HARRY MILNE / KENT - A seasoned veteran of Shakespeare plays, in his50s, who believes himself to be a great actor but has not had the luck of SirThomas Betterman.

DANIELLE CLARKSON / CORDELIA - A young, aspiring actress who hasonly worked in soap-operas. Married to Harry Milne. She is having an affairwith Sir Thomas.

RAY KEATON / FOOL - A washed up comic actor who cannot be serious.

The remaining players are minor characters in King Lear and Act 3.

AURELIE DEVIL - GONERILL

HELEN WILLIAMS - REGAN / THE POST CRITIC

ALBANY / THE TIMES CRITIC

EDGAREDMUNDGLOUCESTER / OSWALDCORNWALL

FIRST KNIGHTSECOND KNIGHT / SECOND OFFICERTHIRD KNIGHT / MESSENGER

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The Programme

Poppy-Rose Productionspresent

Sir Thomas BettermanHarry Milne

Danielle Clarkson

in

King Learby

William Shakespeare

with

Aurelie DevilRay Keaton

Helen Williams

Directed by Richard DaviesProduced by Simon LambertonDesign by Tom OrrowLighting by Ben BiggarCostumes by Catherine Croft

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SETTING

Act 1 is backstage at the largest, most prestigious theatre in the country.

Act 2 features actual scenes from the evenings performance of King Lear.

Act 3 is on stage, the show having finished and the audience have departed.

TIME

The opening night of the most expensive production of King Lear everperformed.

ACT I

Back Stage

INTERVAL

ACT II

Scene 1 Act 1, Scene 1 - Throne room of a castle

Scene 2 Act 1, Scene 4 - Clearing in a forest

Scene 3 Act 3, Scene 2 - Moorland

Scene 4 Act 5, Scene 3 - A battlefield after the battle

ACT III

On stage, after the King Lear performance has finished

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ACT 1

SCENE 1

Backstage at one of the largest theatres in the country.

The stage is covered with props, costumes on rails anda large throne on a raised platform in the middle of the stage.

Imposing posters for this play, King Lear, feature onthe rear wall, covering old theatrical productions.

The wings or actual entrance to the stage fortonights performance is on stage right and

the stage door is stage left.There are 3 doors along the back wall of the stage.

Each door has a large, gold star on the frontand they are labelled 1, 2 and 3.

The set is silent.

Simon Lamberton, a serious man in a suit, enters stage right ticking offitems on a clipboard.

SIMON LAMBERTON Ur-huh. Ur-huh. Ur-huh.

Simon stops in the middle of the stage. Looks around as if enjoying the

silence. He smiles.

The stage door swings open stage left. Richard Davies, an outrageouslyflamboyant man, enters.

RICHARD DAVIES Ahhhh, Simon how wonderful to see you. What a gloriousnight this is... was... and forever shall be.

SIMON Quite.

Richard throws his hat away. He strides across the stage, puts one armaround Simon and holds him while facing the audience.

RICHARD Cant you feel it?Theres not a sound to be heard,Pause as if listeninga person to be seenPause as if looking

or a smell to be...Pause as searching for what to say

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SIMON Sniffed at?

RICHARD No! Nothing can be sniffed at on a night like tonight. There is somuch energy everywhere. The air is electric, charged to capacity withcreative... ness. I love this time before a performance. The theatre is empty

and alive at the same time. The stage is set, like a mousetrap waiting toensnare its prey - the audience. You and I have done everything to guaranteethis production is an artistic masterpiece. This play will be like an on-stage...Van Gogh.

Simon unhooks himself from Richards grasp.

SIMON Well, lets not get too ahead of ourselves.

RICHARD What? Are you joking? Or is this just your serious side talking?Come on, statistical Simon...

SIMON Dont call me that.

RICHARD We, you and I, are about to make theatrical history with thegreatest production of King Lear the world has ever seen. Cant you pictureit?Richard grabs Simon by the shoulder again and talks to the audience as ifhes talking to the world.

The most celebrated, accomplished and successful actor of the last 50 yearshas come out of retirement for a role he has called his Everest. No-one hasever seen the great Sir Thomas Betterman master the character of King Lear.And tonight they will.

SIMON Richard...

RICHARD Supporting Sir Thomas, a tempting sherpa to his Edmund Hillary ifyou will, is the critically acclaimed, Shakespearean master Harry Milne. Harry

has appeared in every single Shakespeare play, some more than once, andspent five years living in Stratford-Upon-Avon. Thats where Billy the Bardwas born, you know. No, no, no, we have put together a cast of stars who willshine. We cant fail, we wont fail. Davies and Lambertons King Lear is thegreatest Shakespeare performance the world has ever seen.

Simon shrugs free from Richards grasp.

SIMON Richard...

RICHARD Simon, darling.

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SIMON Richard. Sir Thomas Betterman is a global star and householdname. But to get him to be in this play I had to make him the wealthiest actorin the country. He is on the most expensive contract in the history of theatre.

RICHARD Worth every penny.

SIMON I can see the artistic, and financial, value in Sir Betterman. The restof the cast?

RICHARD Hand picked by my keen sense of talent spotting... prowess.

SIMON Hmmm. Not to be blunt but Harry Milne is a dried-up, washed-out,booze-hungry thespian.

RICHARD Oh, meow. He knows Shakespeare though.

SIMON The Fool must be the greatest method actor of all time then as heplays the role constantly - on and off stage.

RICHARD Hes perfect for the part.

SIMON Gonerill was a famous Hollywood actress... 20 years ago.

RICHARD Her fans still flock to see her perform.

SIMON What about this understudy you told me about? When do I get tomeet him?

RICHARD Dont worry. Hes an absolute genius. Knows all the parts. Wordperfect. Forwards and backwards. Did his thesis on King Lear.

SIMON And Danielle, I mean, Cordelia, is only famous for that daytime soap-opera. She doesnt have a thought in her pretty head.

Richard has to think.

RICHARD Shell attract young men... people, young people... who want toget into Shakespeare.

SIMON Do you know the other day she asked me in which of Shakespearesplays appeared fellatio?

Richard laughs.

SIMON Luckily, shes turned out to be quite good.

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RICHARD Quite good? I thought you liked her.

Simon is embarrassed.

SIMON Erm... shes very cost effective. So you think were ready?

RICHARD Ready? You and I are ready. The cast is ready. The theatre isready. The only thing that isnt ready is the audience. They arent ready forwhat they are about to experience and how this play will. Change. Their.Lives. For. Ever.

SIMON Richard, I know you are excited about tonight and you think youknow this will happen, and I hope it will happen. But I cant get away from thehard, financial figures. This production needs to run for sixteen months beforeit breaks even. Two years before you and I see any money. And three, wholeyears before we can think about calling Davies and Lambertons King Leara success, a triumph and a masterpiece.

RICHARD There you go again, bringing raw data into my fun.

SIMON Statistical analysis is crucial to success.Richard mimics Simon behind his back as if hes heard this 100 times before.

SIMON Half the money might have come from favourable loans accrued due

to my money market know-how but the other half is our own. I gave up asuccessful, very successful, partnership in the financial district and havetaken out a second AND third mortgage on my house to pay for this play.

RICHARD Oh, you worry about everything.

SIMON Do you mean to say you have no worries or concerns about tonight?

RICHARD Well, Gonerills a bit flamboyant but you know how these French

actresses are...

SIMON Richard, you know what I mean. I have complete faith in our castand your skills as a director. However, if this production is not a success Imin a lot of trouble.

RICHARD Trouble? At least you had that relative die.

Simon is shocked.

RICHARD I mean, she left you some money.

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SIMON I could LOSE EVERYTHING.

RICHARD Well, so could I.Quietly, to himself.And I dont own anything. Youll lose your house, I could lose my life.

Pause, then speaking loudly to Simon.But we wont because this production will be a huge hit.PauseAlthough, truth be told I do have one fear.

SIMON Oh my god. What?

RICHARD I shouldnt have said anything.

SIMON No, no, no. What? Please. You can tell me anything.

RICHARD Sir Thomas was taken to hospital the other day.

SIMON WHAT!

RICHARD After the dress rehearsal. He went to that room hes been rentingin the cheap hotel round the corner. I dont know what for - a lie down maybe.Hes old. Anyway, two hours later someone phones the front desk telling themto call an ambulance. And he was taken to hospital.

SIMON And then what?

RICHARD Oh, everything was fine. Just over excited himself the doctorssaid. Probably nervous about the play. You know how he is, getting so workedup over the role...

SIMON So youre sure everythings fine.

RICHARD AbsolutelyPerfectlyWell, there is one more thing.

SIMONSlowlyAnd that is?

RICHARD

The insurance company called. When you were out - remember you had toput those papers somewhere...

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SIMON File our tax documents, yes.

RICHARD Yes, well when you were out, they called.

SIMON And said what?

RICHARDSheepishlyWell...Quickly and quietlyThey wont insure Sir Thomas in the event of an accident or emergency.

SIMON Excuse me?

RICHARD The insurance company are not insuring Sir Thomas Betterman inthe event of an accident or emergency as of yesterday.

SIMON We dont have any insurance?

RICHARD We do. The theatre does. The show does. Just our leading mandoesnt.

SIMON Oh. My. God.

RICHARD Dont worry. Its only until his medical next week. Once the doctorgives him the all clear, everything will be fine.

SIMON But what if something happens before next week?

RICHARD Nothing will happen.

SIMON What if he twists his ankle?

RICHARD Well get him a crutch.

SIMON What if he breaks his arm?

RICHARD Well get him a sling.

SIMON What if...

RICHARD Simon, Simon. What if - this. And what if - that. You could say

What if the world ends tomorrow

SIMON Then you and I would be bankrupt.

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RICHARD Ha, Simon you worry too much. Look - you do what youre goodat, taking care of the numbers, and Ill do what Im good at, taking care ofthe... creativity.

The stage door opens. Harry Milne, a man in his 50s, wearing smart-casual

clothes enters arm-in-arm with Danielle Clarkson, a girl in her 20s. She iswearing very casual clothes but her hair and make-up are ready for the show.

HARRY MILNE Creativity? In this theatre? While this production of King Learis being performed? My, where can one find that?

RICHARD Harry, darling.

HARRY Good evening Richard.

SIMON Hi Harry. Danielle.

DANIELLE CLARKSON Flirtatiously Hi Simon

HARRY Has the half been called?

SIMON The what?

RICHARD to Simon I forget you know nothing about the theatre - the call to

say its half an hour before the show.To Harry Any minute...

Voice Over - Ladies and gentlemen this is your half hour call. Half an hour.

HARRY To himself God, Im good.

HARRY Ah, Simon. Just the man I wanted to see. Now, I realise there is acertain circumspection on our quantum...

Simon looks puzzled

DANIELLE He knows there aint much money.

Simon nods in understanding

HARRY However, I must asseverate the contractual stipulations with regardalgid aqua in my allowance.

Simon looks at Danielle

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DANIELLE The water cooler isnt working in his room.

SIMON No problem, Harry. I will have the stage manager see to it.

HARRY

I should think so too.Very grandlyYou know, when I was doing MY King Lear in Stratford-Upon-Avon in whatThe Times called a quintessential performance of lunacy...

Simon and Richard look at one another with raised eyes

HARRY We never had to inquire after algid aqua - it was there when it wasrequired.Speaking to himselfCome, I shall retire. My matriarch shall be among the throng tonight so I mustprepare. And it takes substantial preparation to make Sir Littlechap lookproficient.

Harry walks towards dressing room Number 1. Tuts and enters dressing roomNumber 2.

Exit Harry

RICHARD Danielle, how are you my darling?

DANIELLE Yeah, alright, thanks.

RICHARD Is Harry ok?

DANIELLE Yeah, hell be fine. Once hes finished that half-bottle ofpreparation hell be right as rain.

SIMON Sorry, what?

DANIELLE Nothing.

SIMON By the way Danielle, I hope you dont mind me asking, how do youunderstand what hes saying?

DANIELLE Easy, innit. Think like a drama queen and youre there.

RICHARD And being married to him helps.Danielle glares at Richard and turns to Simon

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DANIELLE Maybe.Flirtatiously to Simon as she sits on the throne, centre stage.But Im always on the look out for my next challenge.

Simon pretends not to notice and goes back to his clipboard.

Richard begins to check a piece of paper on the wall.The Understudy, a young man dressed in tight black t-shirt and blacktrousers, runs in looking worried.

DANIELLE And here he is.

UNDERSTUDY Mr Davies, Mr Davies, sir.

RICHARD Yes.

UNDERSTUDY John needs you on stage.

RICHARD John?

UNDERSTUDY The stage manager, sir. Hes having trouble with the castleset.

RICHARD I thought hed solved this. Simon, everything ok here?

SIMON Fine.

Richard exits stage right.

DANIELLETo the UnderstudyNice outfit

UNDERSTUDY Thank you. God, Im so nervous about tonight. Arent you? I

mean, Im not really involved. Im not doing anything. Except moving a fewold props maybe.

DANIELLE Well, youve certainly got the muscles for it.

UNDERSTUDY Erm... thank you. But Im not like you. Up there, on stage, infront of a massive audience.

DANIELLE Yeah, pretty scary.

UNDERSTUDY It must be. I dont think I could perform Shakespeare onsuch a grand stage.

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DANIELLE How are your other performances?

UNDERSTUDY Ive never been in a theatre so big. And with such a bigname star.

DANIELLE Yeah?

UNDERSTUDYTake Sir Thomas.He points to Dressing Room Number 1I have been watching his performances all my life. When he shook my handon the first day of rehearsals I turned to jelly. Mistook me for a cast member.TheatricallyHis mastery of the English language, the spoken word and his total charactercommitment. Obviously as a child I loved him in Cosmic Combat - the first,second and third films. His Henry V, you know the Crispen Speech, broughttears to my eyes as a schoolboy. That inspired me to study King Lear atuniversity. His classic, early films that brought him to the attention of the worldare as touching and intricate today as they were then. Just being in the sameroom as the greatest actor whos ever lived is... humbling.

DANIELLE Youve certainly done some acting though, havent you.

UNDERSTUDY Well, a few puppet shows to earn some money while at

college. And I did play Chorus Elephant Number Three in the summer tour ofThe Leopard Princess.

From stage left, Simon spots the Understudy talking to Danielle. He walkstowards them.

SIMON Hello. Hello. Who are you?

UNDERSTUDY Oh, hello, sir. Im...

SIMON What are you doing here?

UNDERSTUDY Oh, Im the understudy. Im...

The Understudy puts out his hand. Simon ignores it in his shock.

SIMON Youre the understudy? Richard!

UNDERSTUDY Erm... yes. I know all the parts off by heart. Lear. Kent. Fool.

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DANIELLEFlirtatiously.You dont know all Cordelias parts.

UNDERSTUDY And... and could fill in for anyone at a moments notice.

SIMON Well, thats good. But do you have any experience?

UNDERSTUDY Oh yes. I did drama at college and trained as a puppetmaster - you know Punch and Judy, Pinocchio... Basil the Chicken.

Simon is open-mouthed.

SIMON I wish I hadnt asked now. Any practical, professional experience?

UNDERSTUDY Yes. I was in the national tour of The Leopard Princess.

Simon is pleased.

UNDERSTUDY I played Chorus Elephant Number Three. My puppet skillswere perfect for the job.

The Understudy sees Simon is becoming angry.

UNDERSTUDY Im also the assistant stage manager.

SIMON Are you? Excellent.

The Understudy smiles.

SIMON Harry Milne in Dressing Room 2 needs some cold water. Chop,chop.

Exit Understudy stage right.

DANIELLE Flirting Simon...

SIMON Danielle.

DANIELLE Simon, I was looking at the poster for this play yesterday...

SIMON Danielle, weve been over this. Please take this up with Richard.

Hes the artistic half of our partnership.

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DANIELLE But Richard doesnt understand how much I need this play, therole of Cordelia.

Danielle touches Simons shoulder, teasing him.

DANIELLE People assume Im some silly bimbo. Just because I appeared ina soap opera.

Danielle moves close to Simon. He cant move.

DANIELLE Simon, I desperately need this play to be a success. Then I willbe taken seriously as an actress. Marrying a great Shakespearean actorhasnt helped so a starring role in a big production like this will do the trick.

Danielle pushes her body against Simon.

DANIELLE And for my part to be a starring role my picture just needs to bea little bigger on the poster. If you can do this for me...

Ray Keaton, an overweight, disheveled man in his 50s enters stage leftthrough the stage door. Simon jumps away from Danielle in relief.

RICHARDShouting from off stage.

Simon! Simon?

Richard enters stage right.

RICHARD There you are, Simon. Are you ok?Richard sees Ray Keaton taking off his coat.Oh Ray. Nice of you to join us. All ready for playing the Fool tonight? (withoutwaiting for a reply) Good!Simon, can you give me a hand with these finishing touches on stage?

Richard and Simon exit stage right.

Danielle remains on stage. She is still sitting in the throne.

RAY KEATON Well, hello my young lovely.

DANIELLE No Ray, I dont want to hear any more of your chat up lines orgags. None of the girls do. Youre becoming a pest.

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RAY Sure? Come on: I am you and you are me. And YOU(points) never giveME (points) a chance. What about this one - Shakespeare walks into a bar.The bar man says Get out, youre Bard.

Ray doubles over laughing. Danielle is straight faced.

RAY Come on. How about this - A man walks into a library and asks for abook on Shakespeare. Which one? says the librarian. William, of course.

Ray laughs. Danielle does not.

DANIELLE Finished? Look, why dont you stop telling old gags everyonesheard a million times before. Do us all a favour and piss-off.

Ray smiles at Danielle, turns, walks to Dressing Room 3 and enters. Exit Ray.

Enter Understudy. He is running with a jug of water.

UNDERSTUDY Wow, was that Ray. Hes so funny. Always makes me laugh.

Understudy knocks on Dressing Room 2 and enters. Exit Understudy.

The door to Dressing Room No. 1 opens. Sir Thomas Betterman, an elderlygentleman, sticks his head out the door. He looks left and right.

THOMAS Pssit. Pssit. Danger girl.

Danielle looks confused and looks about. She sees Sir Thomas, smiles,jumps from the throne and runs to the door of Dressing Room 1.

DANIELLEIn a posh voiceMy Lord. What ever can I do for you?

THOMAS Mmmmm, I can think of one or two things. Is the coast clear?

DANIELLE Normal voice Come on out, darlin

Sir Thomas leaves the dressing room. He is in royal robes, dressed for theplay. Danielle takes him by the hand, leads him to the throne and pushes himto sit.

DANIELLE Posh voice Now, how can I serve you?

THOMAS Oh Danielle, my little Danger Girl. You are so... naughty.

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DANIELLE Normal voice Not as naughty as you were the other day.

THOMAS Dont remind me. I thought I was having a heart attack.

DANIELLE Dont remind me. I thought Id killed you.

THOMAS Oh, Danielle, you could be the death of me.

DANIELLE We dont want that. But dont get so worked up next time.

THOMAS Mmmm, so theres going to be a next time, is there?

Danielle climbs into Sir Thomas lap.

DANIELLE If you behave and do what your Danger Girl wants, then...

The Understudy enters. The Understudy comes out of Dressing Room 2,sees Sir Thomas and Danielle, covers his mouth and quietly rushes off stageright.

Exit Understudy.

Danielle strokes Sir Thomas face.

THOMAS But what if someone sees us?

DANIELLE Thats the fun of it. Thats why Im your Danger Girl.

THOMAS Its opening night.

DANIELLE All the more reason to celebrate.

Danielles hand moves down Sir Thomas body. As the hand reaches his

groin, Sir Thomas face of pleasure turns to a face of agony.

Sir Thomas cries out.

DANIELLE Oh no. Is it happening again?

Danielle leaps down. She looks around in panic. Sir Thomas is gasping forbreath.

Enter Richard. He stays stage right.

RICHARD Danielle! Theres not long to go. Better get your costume on.

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Danielle is open mouthed in shock. She nods, walks passed Richard andexits stage right. Richard speaks to her as she passes.

RICHARD Sorry the ladies dressing rooms couldnt be on this side of thestage. But Lord Betterman needed the Number One dressing room and...

Richard shrugs innocently.

Exit Danielle.

RICHARD Ah, Sir Thomas. Good to see you. Practicing those breathingexercises I taught you?

Sir Thomas continues to gasp for breath. Richard moves slowly towards him.

RICHARD I wouldnt have thought anyone with your experience would needto relax but I suppose it has been almost 30 years since you last trod theboards. Of course, for drama professionals like you and I its all about thepreparation. When youre fully prepared in here (points to his head) then, andonly then, can you go out there (points to the entrance to the stage).

Richard arrives by Sir Thomas as he finishes speaking. Sir Thomas lurchestowards him and Richard catches his arms. Sir Thomas remains seated.

RICHARD My Lord, it would be an honour to help you prepare.

Richard starts to rhythmically move Sir Thomas backwards and forwards inthe throne.

RICHARD Is that helping?

Sir Thomas shakes his head in disagreement.

RICHARD More?

Richard moves him faster and begins to sayOut with the bad when hebrings Sir Thomas forward andIn with the good when he pushes him back.

Enter Simon from stage right.

SIMON Richard, there you are. We have only 20 minutes before the showand theres lots to do on stage. Come on.

Richard pushes Sir Thomas to the back of the chair.

RICHARD Im sorry your Honour. I will be right back.

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Richard walks towards stage right. He stops and turns. Sir Thomas is stillgasping for breath and now clutching his left arm.

RICHARD Due to all the panic, opening night and all, I may not get to saythis later. It has been an honour and a privilege working with you Sir Thomas

Betterman. I had Simon go all out to get you for this project because I wantedyou. Not for the glory or chance to work with someone famous. The change toshare the stage with a living legend. You have made my life complete. If I dietonight, I know I will die... happy.

Sir Thomas reaches towards Richard. Richard takes a step towards him.

SIMON Richard!

Richard turns and walks towards the stage right exit.

RICHARD To Simon Huh, actors! I pour my heart out to him and all hewants me to do is kiss his hand.

Exit Richard and Simon stage right.

The stage is silent.

SIR THOMAS Dont leave me.

Pause

SIR THOMAS Help. Somebody? Anybody?

The Dressing Room 3 door open. Enter Ray. Dressed in parts of his costumebut not fully.

RAY Is everything ok out here?

Ray looks around and goes to close the door. At the last second he sees SirThomas.

RAY Ah, your Lordship.

Ray bows.

RAY Bit bored before the show. Didnt want to sit in your dressing room? Let

me, your great fool, entertain you. And Im grate-fool for the audience.

Sir Thomas has shakes his head but does not speak.

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RAY Have you ever noticed William Shakespeare only wrote comedies ortragedies? Anyone else think he must have been bipolar?Ray laughs.

SIR THOMAS Whispers Help me.

RAY Theres more. Shakespeare said to his friend I think Im going to stopwriting plays and concentrate on poetry instead. The friend said Youre justgoing from bard to verse.

Ray laughs. Sir Thomas speaks to him in a hoarse voice.

SIR THOMAS Help me, you fool.

RAY Oh, of course. With what.

SIR THOMAS Im dying.

RAY You want help with your lines? Well, I suppose Im the right person tocome to as you and I share such a special bond on stage. Where have yougone wrong? Which bit have you forgotten? Not too much I hope as yourethe star of the show. Or is it a bit of characterisation? Especially as yourcharacter and mine are so close. You know. Character-wise. He nudges SirThomas with his elbow. Which one of us is really mad, eh? Which one is

really the fool?

SIR THOMAS Shut up and help me. Undo my shirt.

RAY No, no, no. Let me think. The line is Pray you undo this button.

SIR THOMAS You dont understand. I cant breath.

RAY Are we doing the death scene at the moment? Coz, Im not actually on

stage for that and...

Sir Thomas cries out.

RAY Ok, ok. You really are in trouble. Specially if you cant remember yourwords right before a show. Well, I think the line is... instead ofI cant breathis: Why should a dog, a horse, a rat have life, and thou no breath at all?

Sir Thomas manages to grab Ray with his right hand.

SIR THOMAS Look you idiot.

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RAY Its Fool actually.

SIR THOMAS Just find someone who can help me.

Ray shrugs off Sir Thomas grip.

Voice over Ladies and gentlemen this is the quarter. Quarter of an hour.

RAY Suit yourself. I know when Im not wanted.

Ray walks to Dressing Room 3 and exits. As the door to Dressing Room 3closes, Dressing Room 2 opens. Harry enters. He is dressed and made-upfor the show. He is carrying a bottle of whiskey with only a quarter of theliquid left. Harry speaks normally, without being pompous.

HARRY So... I heard some of that. Youve gone and forgotten the words.

SIR THOMAS Harry, please help me.

HARRY So, the great Sir Thomas Betterman has forgotten his lines. Onopening night.

SIR THOMAS Harry, you dont understand. I just need someone to gothrough...

HARRY ...them with you? Ha, fat chance.

Harry drinks from the bottle.

SIR THOMAS Harry, I need help.

HARRY And you think Im the man to do it? I learnt my trade. Worked hard atlearning the scripts and knowing everything there is to know about

Shakespeare. Moving between dreadful productions, in hell-hole townsacross the country. Years! Years spent trying to reach the top through gutsand hard work. Just so I could become a great Shakespearean actor. Andthen you came along. Ooooo, hes done Hamlet on the radio they said. HisHenry V made people cry they said.

Harry drinks from the bottle.

SIR THOMAS Harry, that wasnt my fault...

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HARRY Not your fault? NOT YOUR FAULT? I was ready. Set. Done theapprenticeship and off to the big time. Then you came in, took the lead roleand I was left as first back-up. Laughs I wasnt even the understudy! Did youknow, that role had been cast? And so our lives took dramatically differentpaths. You left after only 3 months to do that god-awful sci-fi film series...

what is it... oh yes, Cosmic Conflict. But by then Id already gone. Not thatyou would have noticed. I took a jobbing actor role and started on the goodstuff.

Harry shows the bottle to Sir Thomas and then drinks the last drops.

SIR THOMAS Harry, please listen...

HARRY No! Now its your turn to listen. What did you think? You could justwaltz in here and it would all be easy? Just like last time, eh? Do one over onHarry Milne again? I had to go right back and start from the bottom. And Ihave built a reputation. Ok, I am acting 24/7 - I have to put on that ridiculousvoice and drama queen attitude. And Ive had some success. Im getting backon top. But its history repeating itself, isnt it? I desperately need this play tocement my reputation as a fine Shakespearean actor. Without this play Imight be finished. And this time for good because I cant go back to thebottom and start again. NOT AGAIN!

SIR THOMAS Groans No

HARRY And you? Years of being a household name. Star of stage, film andtv. Friend to world leaders. Your golfing buddies and tennis partners are averitable whos who of the rich and famous. And that precious little title atthe beginning of your name. Well, you know what? Youre just lucky LordLittlechap to me. You cant walk in here and eclipse me again. This time Imgoing to stay and show the world that Harry Milne is, indeed, a great actor.

Harry stands drunkenly triumphant.

SIR THOMAS Harry, can you get Danielle? She will understand whatswrong.

Harrys look of triumph turns to comprehension.

HARRY Oh my god! OH MY GOD! I knew it! I KNEW IT! You took my careerand now youve taken my wife?

Harry drops the bottle. He picks Sir Thomas up from the throne. Shakes himand throws him back down into the seat.

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Harry turns away upset and exhausted.

Sir Thomas slumps on the throne. He is dead.

Harry regains his composure and turns back to face Sir Thomas. Harry sees

something is wrong.HARRY What are you doing? Stop messing around. I only wish I could killyou.

Harry steps towards Sir Thomas.

HARRY Look, I was only joking. You are ok, arent you.

Harry pushes Sir Thomas. Sir Thomas falls forward and is caught by Harry.Harry places him on the throne.

HARRY To himself Oh my god.Talking sweetly to Sir Thomas Sir Thomas, Sir Thomas.

Harry picks up Sir Thomas wrist and counts.

HARRY To himself Oh my god. Theres no pulse.

Harry drops the wrist. Sir Thomas arm falls. Harry looks left and right.

HARRY To himself Ive killed him. Oh my god, Ive killed the most famousactor in the world. On opening night.

Harry begins to panic.

HARRY To himself Get a hold of yourself. He was an old man and nobodysaw you attack him. Nobody saw you. Nobody saw anything...

Harry looks around to make sure he is alone. Suddenly he hears voices.

Off stage right.RICHARD Finished. And not a moment to spare.

Harry looks around wildly. He realises there is nothing that can be done tohide Sir Thomas. Harry runs to Dressing Room 2 and closes the door quietly.Exit Harry.

Enter Richard and Simon.

SIMON Well, thats the last of the problems.

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RICHARD This is the theatre darling, you have to have some drama onopening night.

SIMON Its just Im not used to such problems... dramas. But at least thatsall over and we can just enjoy the show. Im going to Reception... I mean

front of house to meet friends.

Richard stops by Dressing Room 1. Simon keeps walking and then stopsbefore reaching Sir Thomas body.SIMON Richard. Everything ok?

RICHARD Hmmm? Yes. Just nervous, I guess. My directorial debut. Whatwill everyone think of the play? What will the critics think? What will mummythink?

Simon walks back towards Richard.

SIMON Richard. Dont worry, youve done a marvelous job. Youre a finedirector...

RICHARD You havent seen me direct.

SIMON Trying to think of something Ive heard good things. From the cast.

And its your energy and enthusiasm that has carried this project. Throughtough casting, even tougher rehearsals and a punishing schedule you haveremained upbeat and positive. Just like at school. And university. Remember?Our little stage productions. Your vision. All I had to offer was hard work.Sweating and slaving away. But you made it all happen.

RICHARD Thank you.

Simon looks at his watch.

SIMON I must go. Theres less than 10 minutes to the show and people willbe taking their seats.

Simon turns to go. Richard knocks on Dressing Room 1.

RICHARD Sir Thomas? Sir Thomas? Are you in here?

Simon walks passed Sir Thomas slumped back on the throne, mouth open.

SIMON Oh, no, Richard, hes here.

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Simon does not notice Sir Thomas and carries on towards the stage door.Richard walks over to Sir Thomas.

RICHARD Sir Thomas. Are you ok? JokingYou look like youve seen aghost. Sir Thomas?

Richard sees something is wrong.RICHARD Simon. Simon!

Simon has opened the stage door but stops. He turns, annoyed.

SIMON What is it?

RICHARD I think there is something wrong with Sir Thomas Betterman.

SIMON What? What is wrong?

RICHARD I think hes dead.

SIMON Dead?

Simon closes the stage door and walks towards Richard and Sir Thomas.

RICHARD Yes, dead! You know... not breathing, heart stopped, passed on,

the opposite of alive. DEAD!

SIMON Dont be ridiculous.

Simon reaches Richard and Sir Thomas. And begins to check Sir Thomas.Richard turns away in tears.

SIMON Joking He cant be dead. Not now. More serious Not tonight.PanickingNot on the first day of a two year contract.

Oh my god. He IS dead.

Simon staggers a few steps. He is trembling.

SIMON What are we going to do? What do I do? What... what are you cryingfor?

RICHARD Nothing.

SIMON Nothing? Pull yourself together. You didnt know him that well.

RICHARD Im not crying because of that.

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SIMON Youre the director. Think of something. Create something. Direct...what are you crying for then?

RICHARD Its over.

SIMON You dont say.

RICHARD No, my life. You may have taken out triple mortgages andwhatever practical loans you could find but I had nothing. No house. No car.Nothing to put up as collateral. So I used the one thing I do have left. My life.You borrowed your half of the money from the bank. I borrowed my half fromthe Marone family.

SIMON Organised crime?

RICHARD Sobs Yes.

SIMON And youre saying theyll kill you if you dont pay it back?

RICHARD Sobs Yes!

Richard slumps to the floor, sitting against the back wall.

SIMON Oh my god. Oh my god. Ok. Its all down to me. I have to think of a

solution. Theres got to be a solution.

Enter the UNDERSTUDY.

SIMON And here it is!

UNDERSTUDY I was just sent here to check if you need a hand withanything.

SIMON Insanely laughs. No. Well, yes. Perfect timing. Now, you told me youknow this play off by heart.

UNDERSTUDY Yes.

SIMON The part of King Lear? Word perfect?

UNDERSTUDY Yes.

SIMON Excellent. Get changed, youre going on.

UNDERSTUDY Going on? Where? Out there? Why?

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RICHARD He cant do it. The boys keen but hes a puppeteer, not an actor.Maybe if it was The Muppets Do Shakespeare.

SIMON Richard, shut up.

UNDERSTUDY Hes right. Ive never done anything this big. I dont knowthat I can go out in front of all those people.

SIMON Speaking slowly and calmly. This is no time for stage fright. You cango on and you will.

UNDERSTUDY No, no, no. Ive never actually shown my face on the stage.The funny thing is Id be ok, and be able to do the whole show, if this reallywas Muppets Do Shakespeare.

SIMON Excellent. Well, I will bear that in mind. But we are doing a real, liveversion of King Lear. That is the reality. Our leading man, Sir ThomasBetterman, is dead. You are the understudy. You are taking his place.

UNDERSTUDY Wow.

SIMON I know.

UNDERSTUDY Sir Thomas Betterman is dead.

SIMON And youre taking his place. On stage. In 5 minutes time.

UNDERSTUDY Terrified, to himself I cant do it. I cant go out there in frontof all those people. In front of thousands of people.

Simon reaches for Sir Thomas to try and take his costume off. TheUnderstudy stands to one side shaking his head.

Voice over Ladies and gentlemen, this is your five minute call. Five minutes.

Enter Danielle with GONERIL/AURELIE DEVIL andREGAN/HELENWILLIAMS. They are all in full costume and make-up.

HELEN Was that the five? Were just going out for a ciggie.

DANIELLE Is Sir Thomas alright?

The three ladies walks across the stage while speaking. Simon and theUnderstudy step in front of Sir Thomas.

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SIMON Hes fine. Just a bit of last minute preparation.

Simon waves the ladies good-bye. Exit stage left Danielle, Helen and Aurelie.Simon turns back to Sir Thomas to take off his costume. He quickly gives in.

SIMON Its no use. We cant even move him due to the dead weight.

Richard laughs. He has stopped crying.

SIMON Richard. Do something. Youre the director!

RICHARD I have a solution.

Richard knocks on the door of Dressing Room 2.

RICHARD Harry, can you come out here please? To Simon and theUnderstudyHarry will go on in Sir Thomas place. And the understudy willtake Harrys role as Kent.

Harry opens the door slowly.

HARRY Yes?

RICHARD Harry, somethings happened to Sir Thomas.

HARRY Quickly I didnt do it.

RICHARD Do what? Any way, we need you to take the part of King Leartonight. Sir Thomas is... unwell. Congratulations! Youve got what you wanted,the lead role! Your fans will see you play King Lear.

HARRY I cant do it.

Richard does not hear Harry.

RICHARD Isnt this what youve always wanted? Youll be the star of theshow. Demonstrate how you are the master of Shakespeare and Sir Thomasisnt fit to... what?

HARRY I cant do it. I dont know the part.

RICHARD But youre this great Shakespearean actor. Imitating Harry

When I did my King Lear at Stratford Upon Avon...

HARRY When I played in King Lear... I didnt play the King.

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Richard gulps in panic. He says the first thing that comes to him.

RICHARD Ok. No problem. You will be King Lear and the Understudy willfeed you the lines.

UNDERSTUDY While Im playing the role of the Duke of Kent?

RICHARD Yes.

UNDERSTUDY On a big stage Ive never performed on before?

RICHARD Yes.

UNDERSTUDY In front of thousands of people?

RICHARD Yes.

SIMON Richard, that is clearly not going to work.

Richard begins to cry and slumps again. Danielle enters from stage door.

HARRY Im so sorry Simon. Im a fraud. Its all an act. Im not who I say I am.Im a murderer...

SIMON What?

DANIELLE Harry, dont. Simon, its all my fault. Ive been having an affairwith Sir Thomas and with his weak heart...

SIMON What!!!

HARRY So its true then...

Everyone on stage argues. Excluding the Understudy.

SIMON Richard, do something...

DANIELLE You dont love me any more...

RICHARD Were ruined. Im going to be dropped in the sea with concreteround my ankles.

HARRY To Danielle You slut...

RICHARD Or worse... savaged by the critics.

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SIMON Steady on, Harry...

Voice Over This is your beginners call for the start of the show. Beginners.

Everyone is silent.

EnterGLOUCESTERandEDMUND from stage right. They are in fullShakespearean costume and make-up.

GLOUCESTER Everything ok?

ALL reply FINE!

Harry walks up and stands nose-to-nose with Simon.

HARRY I cannot walk out on to that stage unless you tell me what you aregoing to do.

Trumpets sound for the beginning of the play.

SIMON On you go Harry. Dont want to disappoint your adoring fans, doyou?

Harry is furious but before he can say anything we hear the sound of

applause.

SIMON Thats curtain up.

Simon smiles and ushers Harry on stage.

Harry Milne (Kent), Gloucester and Edmund exit stage right. Their exit isgreeted by applause off stage right.

Gonerill and Regan enter stage left. They talk to each other inside the stagedoor unaware of what is happening elsewhere on stage.

Our audience can hear the Shakespeare play begin. Richard is still sitting onthe floor sobbing.

SIMON Richard. Richard! Get a hold of yourself and think.

RICHARD I cant. Were ruined.

Simon picks Richard up.

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SIMON You bastard. Its always been the same, hasnt it? Ever since wewere kids. You were the big shot entertainer. I was the geeky nerd. Youvealways treated me badly. And for some reason Ive always taken it.

Simon throws Richard away.

SIMON At school, university and throughout our lives Ive been played byyou. Taken for a chump, a fool. I did everything for you... for this play. And allthat was happening was you were playing me. Pulling me this way and thatlike some sort of...

RICHARD Puppet! Thats it.

SIMON What?

Richard rushes to Sir Thomas.

Richard picks up one arm and waves it.RICHARD Ok, hes still quite mobile.

This is what were going to do.

CURTAIN

End of Act 1

====================================================================================================================

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ACT 2

SCENE 1 - ACT 1, SCENE 1 of KING LEAR

A lavishly decorated room in a medieval castle.

There is a large table covered with maps at the front, stage left.The play is written as the traditional Shakespeare text.

The actions are in parentheses.All the actors, except Gloucester and Edmund, know

King Lear is deceased when they appear on the stage.

Enter Kent, Gloucester and Edmund

(They stand stage right. Kent is white with apprehension.)

KENTI thought the King... (He pauses, wanting to say is dead) had more affectedthe Duke of Albany than Cornwall.

(Gloucester and Edmund are unaware of what has happened to King Lear)

GLOUCESTERIt did always seem so to us. But now in the division of the kingdom it appearsnot which of the Dukes he values most, for qualities are so weighed that

curiosity in neither can make choice of eithers moiety.

KENTIs this not your son, my lord?

GLOUCESTERHis breeding, sir, hath been at my charge. I have so often blushed toacknowledge him that now I am brazed to it.

KENTI cannot conceive you.

GLOUCESTERSir, this young fellows mother could; whereupon she grew round-wombed,and had indeed, sir, a son for her cradle ere she had a husband for her bed.Do you smell a fault?

KENT

I cannot wish the fault undone, the issue of it being so proper.

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GLOUCESTERBut I have a son, sir, by order of law, some year elder than this, who yet is nodearer in my account. Though this knave came something saucily to theworld, before he was sent for, yet was his mother fair; there was good sport athis making, and the whoreson must be acknowledged. Do you know this

noble gentleman, Edmund?

EDMUNDNo, my lord.

GLOUCESTERMy lord of Kent. Remember him hereafter as my honourable friend.

EDMUNDMy services to your lordship.

KENTI must love you and sue to know you better.

EDMUNDSir, I shall study deserving.

GLOUCESTERHe hath been out nine years, and away he shall again. The King is coming.

Sound a sennet. (Kent looks surprised)Enter Cornwall, Albany, Gonerill, Regan, and Cordelia.

(Cordelia looks at Kent and shakes her head.)(Cornwall, Albany, Gonerill, Regan and Cordelia stand stage left)

Sound a second sennet.

Enter King Lear sitting on a throne pulled by First Knight and Second Knight.

(The throne sits on a large, wheeled platform.The platform is pulled into a central position

on stage by the two knights.King Lear is sat upright with a blank expression on his face.

The Understudy is able to make King Lears mouth open and closerhythmically in time with the words spoken.

All Lears words are said by the Understudy via microphone.

The Understudy can also make King Lears head,arms and legs move, like a puppet.The knights stand either side behind the throne.)

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LEARAttend the lords of France and Burgundy, Gloucester.(Lear raises the left hand, droopily, towards Gloucester)

GLOUCESTER

I shall...(Gloucester pauses while taking a closer look at Lear)...my liege.

Exeunt Gloucester and Edmund(Gloucester and Edmund exit stage left. Gloucester turns to Edmund in shockto tell him there is something wrong with King Lear. What is said is not heardby the audience.)

LEARMeantime we shall express our darker purpose.Give me the map there.(Lears left hand points to the maps on the table)Know that we have dividedIn three(Lear pats his leg three times)our kingdom; and tis our fast intentTo shake all cares and business from our age,Unburdened crawl

(Lear crawls with his arms)toward death. Our son Cornwall -And you, our no less loving son of Albany -(Lears right hand points at one and then the other)We have this hour a constant will to punish(Lears right hand slaps his right thigh)Our daughters several dowers, that future strifeMay be prevented now. The princes, France and Burgundy.Great rivals in our daughters love

Long in our court have made their amorous sojourn,(Kent laughs. All cast members look at Kent. A noticable pause)And here are to be answered. Tell me, my daughters,(Lears right hand raises to his ear)Since now we will divest us both of rule,Interest of territory, cares of state,Which of you shall we say doth love us most,(Lears arms extend out in both directions)That we our largest bounty may extend

Where nature doth with merit challenge. Gonerill,(Lear points to Gonerill)Our eldest born, speak first.

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GONERILL(Long pause, almost afraid to speak)Sir, I (Pause, swallows hard) love you more than word can wield the matter,Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty,Beyond what can be valued rich or rare,

No less than (Gulping swallow) life(Pause, taking Lears hand as if to feel for a pulse)with grace, health, beauty, honour,As much as child eer loved or father found;A love that makes breath poor and speech unable;(Gonerill touches Lears mouth)Beyond all manner of so much I love you.

(Gonerill finishes the speech standing beside Lear.)

CORDELIA (aside)What shall Cordelia speak? Love, and be silent.

(Kent is visibly annoyed by this but is standing stage right while Cordelia isstage left.)

LEAROf all these bounds, even from this line to thisWith Shadowy forests and with champains riched,

With plenteous rivers and wide-skirted meads,We make thee lady.(Lear is leant forward to kiss Gonerill. Gonerill hesitates in disgust. Learkisses her and she rushes into Albanys arms.)To thine and Albanys issues,Be this perpetual. - What says our second daughter,(Lear points to Regan)Our dearest Regan, wife of Cornwall?

REGANI am made of that self mettle as my sister(Regan shakes her head and swallows hard)And price me at her worth. In my true heartI find she names my very deed of love;Only she comes too short, that I professMyself an enemy to all other joysWhich the most precious square of sense possessesAnd find I am alone felicitate

In your dear highness love.

(Regan slowly takes Lears left hand in disgust.)

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CORDELIA (aside)Then poor Cordelia!And yet not so, since I am sure my lovesMore ponderous than my tongue.

LEARTo thee and thine hereditary everRemain this ample third of our fair kingdom,No less in space, validity, and pleasureThan that conferred on Gonerill.(Regan tears her hand from Lear and wrings both hands as if cleaning them.)- Now, our joy,Although our last and least, to whose young loveThe vines of France and milk of BurgundyStrive to be interessed: what can you say to drawA third more opulent than you sisters? Speak!

CORDELIANothing, my lord.(Cordelia is tearful. She takes Lears left hand)

LEARNothing?(Lears head turns to Cordelia)

CORDELIANothing

LEARNothing will come of nothing. Speak again.

CORDELIAUnhappy that I am, I cannot heave

My heart into my mouth. I loved your majesty(Cordelia hugs Lear and draws away quickly, still holding Lears left hand.She regains her composure)I LOVE your Majesty.According to my bond, no more nor less.

LEARHow, how, Cordelia! Mend your speech a littleLest you may mar your fortunes.

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CORDELIA(Cordelia is very upset and furious. She drops Lears hand like a deadweight)Good my lord,You have begot me, bred me, loved me.

I return those duties back as are right fit,Obey you, love you, and most honour you.Why have my sisters husbands, if they sayThey love you all? Haply when I shall wed,That lord whose hand must take my plight shall carryHalf my love with him, half my care and duty.Sure I shall never marry like my sisters,To love my father all.

LEARBut goes thy heart with this?

CORDELIAAy, my good lord.

LEARSo young and so untender?

CORDELIA

So young, my lord, and true.

LEAR(Lear throws his hands into the air. All cast members kneel)Let it be so! Thy truth then be thy dower!For by the sacred radiance of the sun,The mysteries of Hecat and the night,By all the operation of the orbsFrom whom we do exist, and cease to be,

Here I disclaim all my paternal care,Propinquity and property of blood,And as a stranger to my heart and meHold thee from this for ever. The barbarous Scythian,Or he that makes his generation messesTo gorge his appetite, shall to my bosomBe as well neighboured, pitied, and relievedAs thou my sometime daughter.

(Kent rises and goes to Lears right side)

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KENTGood, my liege -

LEAR(Lears right arm moves too quickly and smacks Kents face)

Peace, Kent!Come not between the dragon and his wrath.(Kent is shocked by the blow and crawls backwards, away)I loved her most,(Kent tuts at this line)and thought to set my rest on her kind nursery.(To Cordelia) Hence and avoid my sight! -(Lear waves Cordelia away with the left arm)So be my grave my peace as here I giveHer fathers heart from her. Call France!(Kent stands and waves the two knights away. They exit stage left)Who stirs?Call Burgundy! Cornwall and Albany,(Cornwall and Albany go to Lears side)With my two daughters dowers digest the third.Let pride, which she calls plainness, marry her.I do invest you jointly with my power,Pre-eminence, and all the large effectsThat troop with majesty. Ourself by monthly course,

With reservation of an hundred knights,By you to be sustained, shall our abodeMake with you by due return. Only we shall retainThe name and all thaddition to a king;(Cornwall and Albany kneel in front of Lear. Lears hands rest on their heads.Cornwall and Albany flinch at the touch)the sway,Revenue, execution of the rest,Beloved sons, be yours; which to confirm,

This coronet part between you.

KENT(Kent is meant to be angry but spits out his words with venom)Royal Lear,Whom I have ever honoured as my king,Loved as my father, as my master followed,As my great patron thought on in my prayers -

LEARThe bow is bent and drawn; make from the shaft.

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KENTLet it fall rather,(Lears hand falls from Cornwalls head. Cornwall takes the hand and puts itback)though the fork invade

The region of my heart. Be Kent unmannerlyWhen Lear is dead...(Pauses)dead mad. What wouldst thou do, old man?Thinkst thou that duty shall have dread to speakWhen power to flattery bows? To plainness honours boundWhen majesty stoops to folly. Reserve thy state,And in thy best consideration checkThis hideous rashness.(Kent pushes Cornwall and Albany out of the way. He grabs Lears shirt andshakes Lear like a rag doll)Answer my life, my judgement,Thy youngest daughter does not thee least,Nor are those empty-hearted whose low soundsReverb no hollowness.

LEAR(Imploring Kent to let go)Kent, on thy life, no more!

(The rest of the cast watch in disbelief)

KENTMy life I never held but as a pawnTo wage against thine enemies; nor fear to lose it,Thy safety being motive.

(Kent picks up Lear from the throne. The Understudy is seen briefly)

LEAROut of my sight!

KENTSee better, Lear, and let me still remainThe true blank of thine eye.

LEAR

Now by Apollo -

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KENTNow by Apollo, King,Thou swearst thy gods in vain.

LEAR

O vassal, miscreant!

He makes to strike him

(Lear does not strike him. Lears arms flop beside his flaccid body)

ALBANY and CORNWALL(Grabbing Kent)Dear Sir, forbear!

KENTKill thy physician and thy fee bestowUpon the foul disease. Revoke thy gift,Or whilst I can vent clamour from my throatIll tell thee thou dost evil.

LEARHear me, recreant,On thine allegiance hear me!

(Kent relaxes. Kent puts Lear back on the throne)That thou hast sought to make us break our vow,Which we durst never yet, and, with strained pride,(Kent walks away from the throne)To come betwixt our sentence and our power,Which nor our nature nor our place can bear,Our potency made good, take thy reward.Five days we do allot thee for provisionTo shield thee from disasters of the world,

And on the sixth to turn thy hated backUpon our kingdom. If on the tenth day followingThy banished trunk be found in our dominionsThe moment is thy death. Away! By Jupiter,This shall not be revoked!

(Lear falls forward, about to slip from the throne)

(Kent catches him by the head and pushes him back into place)

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KENTFare thee well, (spitting) King, sit thus thou wilt appear,Freedom lives hence and banishment is here.To CordeliaThe gods to their dear shelter take thee, maid,

That justly thinkst and hast most rightly said.To Gonerill and ReganAnd your large speeches may be your deeds approveThat good effects may spring from words of love. -Thus Kent, O princes, bids you all adieu;Hell shape his old course in a country new.

Exit Kent

Black Out

(End of Act 2, Scene 1)

====================================================================================================================

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ACT 2


A clearing in a forest

(Kent enters stage right dressed in rags. He stands front, centre stage)

Enter Kent in disguise.

KENTIf but as well I other accents borrowThat can my speech diffuse, my good intentMay carry through itself to that full issueFor which I razed my likeness. Now, banished Kent,If thou canst serve thou dost stand condemned,So may it come thy master whom thou lovestShall find thee full of labours.

Horns within. Enter Lear and Knights

(Kent moves to front of stage left. Lear enters stage left. Lear is sitting on alarge chair in a low carriage pulled by the knights)

LEARLet me not stay a jot for dinner!(Lear points stage right)Go, get it ready!

Exit First Knight

How now? What art thou?(Lear points at Kent)

KENTA man, sir.

LEARWhat dost thou profess? What wouldst thou with us?

KENTI do profess to be no less than I seem; to serve him truly that will put me in

trust, to love him that is honest, to converse with him that is wise and sayslittle, to fear judgement, to fight when I cannot choose, and to eat no fish.

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LEARWhat art thou?

KENTA very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the King.

LEARIf thou best as poor for a subject as hes for a king thou art poor enough.What wouldst thou?

KENTService

LEARWho wouldst thou serve?

KENT(Through gritted teeth)You

LEARDost thou know me, fellow?

KENTNo, sir; but you have that in your countenance which I would fain call master.

LEARWhats that?

KENT(Kent laughs)Authority

LEARWhat services can thou do?

KENTI can keep honest counselride, run, mar a curious tale in telling it, and deliver a plain message bluntly.That which ordinary men are fit for I am qualifies in, and the best of me isdiligence.

LEARHow old art thou?

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KENTNot so young, sir, to love a woman for singing, nor so old to dote on her foranything. I have years on my back forty-eight.

LEAR

Follow me; thou shalt serve me if I like thee no worse after dinner. I will notpart from thee yet. Dinner, ho, dinner! Wheres my knave, my Fool?(Lear points to the Second Knight)Go you and call my Fool hither.

Exit Second Knight

Enter Oswald (stage left)

(Lear points at Oswald and turns his head left)You! You, sirrah! Wheres my daughter?

OSWALDSo please you -

Oswald exit

LEAR

(Head turns to Third Knight)What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll back.

Exit Third Knight

Wheres my Fool? Ho, I think the worlds asleep.

Enter Third Knight

How now? Wheres that mongrel?

THIRD KNIGHTHe says, my lord, your daughter is not well.

LEARWhy came not the slave back to me when I called him?(Lears arms raise in confusion)

THIRD KNIGHTSir, he answered me in the roundest manner he would not.

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LEARHe would not!

THIRD KNIGHTMy lord, I know not what the matter is, but to my judgement your highness is

not entertained with that ceremonious affection as you were wont. Theres agreat abatement of kindness appears as well in the general dependents as inthe Duke himself also and your daughter.

LEARHa! Sayest thou so?

THIRD KNIGHT(Kneels before Lear)I beseech you pardon me, my lord, if I be mistaken; for my duty cannot besilent when I think your highness wronged.

LEARThou but rememberest me of mine own conception. I have perceived a mostfaint neglect of late, which I have rather blamed as mine own jealous curiositythan as a very pretence and purpose of unkindness. I will look further intot.But wheres my Fool? I have not seen him this two days.

THIRD KNIGHT

Since my young ladys going into France, sir, the Fool hath pined away.

LEARNo more of that! I have noted it well. Go you and tell my daughter I wouldspeak with her.

Exit Third Knight

Go you, call hither my Fool.

Exit another Knight

Enter Oswald(from stage left)

(Lears head moves to the left)

O, you, sir, you! Come you hither, sir. Who am I, sir?

OSWALDMy ladys father.

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LEARMy ladys father, my lords knave! You whoreson dog! You slave! You cur!

(Lears right hand moves in time with the insults following Oswald)

(Oswald moves across the stage)

OSWALDI am none of these, my lord, I beseech your pardon.

(Lears head moves quickly from left to right having missed Oswaldsmovement)

LEARDo you bandy looks with me, you rascal?

He strikes him

(Lears right hand paws at Oswald, not close to hitting him)

OSWALDIll not be strucken, my lord.

(Oswald looks back for Kents outstretched leg. He was meant to be struck by

Lear but has to stumble back on his own)

KENTNor tripped neither, you base football-player?

(Kent trips Oswald to the floor)

LEARI thank thee, fellow. Thou servest me and Ill love thee.

KENT (to Oswald)Come, sir, arise, away! Ill teach you differences. Away, away! If you willmeasure your lubbers length again, tarry; but away, go to! Have youwisdom?

He pushes Oswald out

(Exit Oswald stage left)

So.

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LEARNow, my friendly knave, I thank thee.

(Kent stretches out his hand towards Lear)

Theres earnest of thy service.

He gives him money(Lear is meant to give him money. Instead when Kent stretches out his handLear slaps it. Kent is shocked)

Enter the Fool

(The Fool knows Lear is dead. The Fool plays with King Lears arms, legsand head because he can be silly without anyone stopping him)

FOOLLet me hire him too. Heres my coxcomb.

LEARHow now, my pretty knave! How dost thou?(Lears arms are waved in the air in celebration at Fools arrival)

FOOL

Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.

KENTWhy, Fool?

FOOLWhy? For taking ones part thats out of favour. Nay, and thou canst not smileas the wind sits, thoult fellow has banished two ons daughters, and did thethird a blessing against his will. If thou follow him, thou must needs wear my

coxcomb. How now, nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters!

LEARWhy, my boy?

FOOLIf I gave them all my living, Id keep my coxcombs myself. Theres mine. Beganother of thy daughters.

LEARTake heed, sirrah, the whip!

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(Lears arms are both raised - Kent flashes the whip at Fool)

FOOLTruths a dog must to kennel; he must be whipped out when the Lady Brachmay stand by the fire and stink.

LEARA pestilent gall to me!

FOOLSirrah, Ill teach thee a speech.

LEARDo.

FOOLMark it, nuncle:Have more than thou showest,Speak less than thou knowest,Lend less than thou owest,Ride more than thou goest,Learn more than thou trowest,Set less than thou throwest;Leave thy drink and thy whore

And keep in-a-door,And thou shalt have moreThan two tens to a score.

KENTThis is nothing, Fool.

FOOLThen tis like the breath of an unfeed lawyer: you gave me nothing fort. Can

you make no use of nothing, nuncle?

LEARWhy, no, boy. Nothing can be made out of nothing.

FOOL (to Kent)Prithee tell him; so much the rent of his land comes to. He will not believe afool.

LEARA bitter fool!

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FOOLDost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and a sweetone?

LEAR

No, lad; teach me.

FOOLThat lord that counselled theeTo give away thy land,Come place him here by me;Do thou for him stand.The sweet and bitter foolWill presently appear:The one in motley here,The other found out - there.

LEARDost thou call me fool, boy?

FOOLAll thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born with.

KENT

This is not altogether fool, my lord.

FOOLNo, faith; lords and great men will not let me. If I had a monopoly out theywould have part ont; and ladies too - they will not let me have all the fool tomyself; theyll be snatching. Nuncle, give me an egg and Ill give thee twocrowns.

LEAR

What two crowns shall they be?

FOOLWhy, after I have cut the egg ithe middle and eat up the meat, the twocrowns of the egg. When thou clovest they crown ithe middle, and gavestaway both parts, thou borest thinke ass on thy back oer the dirt. Thou hadstlittle wit in thy bald crown when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speaklike myself in this, let him be whipped that first finds it so. Fools had neer lessgrace in a year,

For wise men are grown foppishAnd know not how their wits to wear,Their manners are so apish.

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LEARWhen were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?

FOOLI have used it, nuncle, eer since thou madest thy daughters thy mothers; for

when thou gavest them the rod and puttest dow thine own breeches,(sings)They they for sudden joy did weep,And I for sorrow sung,That such a king should play bo-peepAnd go the fools among.Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy fool to lie; I wouldfain learn to lie.

LEARAnd you lie, sirrah, well have you whipped.

(Kent cracks the whip)

FOOLI marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are. Theyll have me whipped forspeaking true; thoult have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I amwhipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any kind othing than a fool.And yet I would not be thee, nuncle. Thou hast pares thy wit oboth sides and

left nothing ithe middle. Here comes one othe parings.

Enter Gonerill

(Enter Gonerill stage left. Lears head turns)

LEARHow now, daughter! What makes that frontlet on?You are too much of late ithe frown.

FOOLThou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need to care for her frowning.Now thou art an 0 without a figure. I am better than thou art now; I am a fool;thou art nothing. (To Gonerill) Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue. So yourface bids me, though you say nothing.Mum, mum!He that keeps nor crust nor crumb,Weary of all, shall want some.

(Gonerill opens her mouth to speak)

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He points to Lear

FOOLThats a shelled peascod.

GONERILL (Genuinely annoyed with the Fool)Not only, sir, this your all-licensed foolBut other of your insolent retinueDo hourly carp and quarrel, breaking forthIn rank and not-to-be-endured riots. Sir,I had thought by making this well known unto youTo have found a safe redress; but now grow fearfulBy what yourself too late have spoke and doneThat you protect this course and put it onBy your allowance; which if you should, the faultWould not scape censure, nor the redresses sleep;Which in the tender of a wholesome wealMight in their working do you that offenceWhich else were shame, that then necessityWill call discreet proceeding.

FOOLFor you know, nuncle,The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long

That its had it head bit off by it young.So out went the candle and we were left darkling.

LEARAre you our daughter?

GONERILLI would you would make use of your good wisdom,Whereof I know you are fraught, and out away

These dispositions which of late transport youFrom what you rightly are.

FOOLMay not an ass know when the cart draws the horse?Whoop, Jug, I love thee!

LEARDoes any here know me? This is not Lear.

Does Lear walk thus(Lears arms move forward in a plodding motion)speak thus?

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(Lears arms flap together)Where are his eyes?(Lears hands cover his eyes)Either his notion weakens, his discerningsAre lethargied

(Lear slumps in the chair and is pulled forcefully back into place)Ha! Waking? Tis not so!Who is it that can tell me who I am?

FOOL(Going behind the carriage and tickling the Understudy)Lears shadow.

LEAR(The voice is giggling due to being tickled)I would learn that; for by the marks of sovereignty, knowledge, and reason, Iwould be false persuaded I had daughters.

FOOL(Comes out from behind the carriage)Which they will make an obedient father.

LEARYour name, fair gentlewoman?

GONERILLThis admiration, sir, is much othe savourOf other your new pranks. I do beseech youTo understand my purposes aright:As you are old and reverend, should be wise.Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires,Men so disordered, so deboshed and bold,That this is our court, infected with their manners,

Shows like a riotous inn; epicurism and lustMakes it more like a tavern or a brothelThan a graced palace. Thy shame itself doth speakFor instant remedy. Be then desired,By her that else will take the thing she begs,A little disquantity your train,And the remainders that shall still dependTo be such men as may besort your age,Which know themselves and you.

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LEARDarkness and devils!Saddle my horses! Call my train together!Degenerate bastard, Ill not trouble thee.Yet have I left a daughter.

GONERILLYou strike my people, and your disordered rabbleMake servants of their betters.

Enter Albany

(Enter Albany stage right. Lears head turns towards him)

LEARWoe that too late repents! - O, sir, are you come?Is it your will? Speak sir! - Prepare my horses.Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,More hideous when thou showest thee in a childThan the sea-monster!

ALBANYPray, sir, be patient.

LEARTo GonerillDetested kite, thou liest!My train are men of choice and rarest parts,That all particulars of duty knowAnd in the most exact regard supportThe worships of their name. O most small fault,How ugly didst thou in Cordelia show!Which, like an engine, wrenched my frame of nature

From the fixed place, drew from my heart all love,And added to the gall. O Lear, Lear, Lear!(Lears right hand thumps his chest)Beat at this gate that let thy folly in(Lear strikes his head moving the face to the left. The Understudy has let goof the head so it hangs to the left)And thy dear judgement out! Go, go, my people.(Lear points off stage right)

Exeunt Kent and Knights

(The knights exit and then have to sheepishly come back on stage)

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(Lears head still hangs to the left)

ALBANYMy lord, I am guiltless as I am ignorant(Albany takes Lears hand in his hands)

Of what hath moved you.(Albany moves Lears head back into place)

LEARIt may be so, my lord.He kneels(Lear does not kneel but bows to Albany)Hear, Nature, hear! Dear Goddess, hear!Suspend thy purpose if thou didst intendTo make this creature fruitful.Into her womb convey sterility,Dry up in her the organs of increase,And from her derogate body never springA babe to honour her. If she must teem,Create her child of spleen, that it may liveAnd be a thwart disnatured torment to her.Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth,With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks,Turn all her mothers pains and benefits

To laughter and contempt, that she may feelHow sharper than a serpents tooth it isTo have a thankless child! Away, away!

Lear exit

(Lear is wheeled out by the two knights)

Blackout


====================================================================================================================

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ACT 2


A moorland.

A storm is raging.Enter Lear and the Fool

(King Lear is sat on a bench, centre stage. The Fool huddles beside)

LEARBlow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage! Blow!(Lears arms are raised)You cataracts and hurricanoes, spoutTill you have drenched our steeples, drowned the cocks!You sulphurours and thought-executing fires,Vaunt-curriers of oak-cleaving thunderbolts,Singe my white head! And thou all-shaking thunder,Strike flat the thick rotundity othe world,Crack Natures moulds, all germens spill at onceThat makes ingrateful man!

FOOLO nuncle, court holy-water in a dry house is better than this rain-water out

odoor. Good nuncle, in; ask thy daughters blessing. Heres a night pitiesneighter wise men nor fools.

(The Fool puts a coat around Lears shoulders but Lear becomes entangled)

LEARRumble thy bellyful! Spit, fire! Sput, rain!Nor rain, wind, thunder, fire are my daughters.I tax you, you elements, with unkindness;

I never gave you kingdom, called you children.You owe me no subscription; then let fallYour horrible pleasure. Here I stand, your slave,A poor, infirm, weak, and despised old man.But yet I call you servile ministers,That will with two pernicious daughters joinYour high-engendered battles gainst a head(Lears hands rub his head and face)So old and white as this. O, ho! Tis foul!

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FOOLHe that has a house to puts head in has a good head-piece:The cod-piece that will houseBefore the head has any,The head and he shall louse;

So beggars marry many.The man that makes his toeWhat his heart should make,Shall of a corn cry woe,And turn his sleep to wake.For there was never yet fair woman but she made mouths in a glass.

Enter Kent

(Kent does not enter)

LEARNo, I will be the pattern of all patience.(Lears hand form a horn around his mouth and the Understudy shouts)I will say nothing.

KENT(Off stage left)Whos there?

FOOLMarry, heres grace and a cod-piece - thats a wise man and a fool.

(Enter Kent)

KENTAlas, sir are you here? Things that love nightLove not such nights as these. The wrathful skies

Gallow the very wanderers of the darkAnd make them keep their caves. Since I was man,Such sheets of fire, such bursts of horrid thunder,Such groans of roaring wind and rain I neverRemember to have heard. Mans nature cannot carryThaffliction nor the fear.

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LEARLet the great godsThat keep this dreadful pudder oer our headsFind out their enemies now. Tremble, thou wretch(Lear shoos Kent away)

That hast within thee undivulged crimesUnwhipped of justice. Hide thee, thou bloody hand,Thou perjured, and thou simular of virtueThat art incestuous. Caitiff, to pieces shake,That under covert and convenient seemingHas practised on mans life. Close pent-up guilts,Rive your concealing continents, and cryThese dreadful summoners grace. I am a manMore sinned against than sinning.

KENTAlack, bare-headed?Gracious my lord hard by here is a hovel;(Kent puts a hat on Lears head. It falls off)Some friendship(Kent puts the hat back but more forcefully)will it lend you gainst the tempest.Repose you there while I to this hard house -More harder than the stones whereof tis raised;

Which even but now, demanding after you,Denied me to come in - return and forceTheir scanted courtesy.

LEARMy wits begin to turn.Come on, my boy. How dost my boy? Art cold?I am cold myself. (Fool laughs at this to be true)Where is this straw, my fellow? The art of our necessities is strange

And can make vile things precious. Come, your hovel.Poor fool and knave, I have one part in my heartThats sorry yet for thee.

FOOL(sings)He that has and a little tiny wit,With heigh-ho, the wind and the rain,Must make content with his fortunes fit,

Though the rain it raineth every day.

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LEARTrue, boy. Come, bring us to this hovel.

Exit Lear and Kent

Blackout (End of Act 2, Scene 2)

====================================================================================================================

ACT 2


A battlefield after the battle.Debris litters the stage along with fallen banners.

Enter Lear with Cordelia in his arms, followed by Second Officer and others -

(King Lear is sat on the throne from Act 2, Scene 1 in the middle of the stage.Kent enters with Cordelia in his arms. Kent is followed by the Second Officer

and other soldiers. Kent puts Cordelia down in front of King Lear.)

LEARHowl, howl, howl!(Lears arms are raised)O, you are men of stones!Had I your tongues and eyes Id use them so(Lears left hand touches his mouth, his right hand the right eye)That heavens vault should crack. Shes gone for ever.

I know when one is dead and when one lives;Shes dead as earth. Lend me a looking-glass;(Lear puts out one hand, searching)If that her breath will mist or stain the stone,(Lears other hand moves to his mouth and then away)Why then she lives.

KENTIs this the promised end?

EDGAROr image of that horror?

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ALBANYFall and cease!

LEARThis feather stirs - she lives! If be so,

It is a chance which does redeem all sorrowsThat ever I have felt.

KENTO my good master!

LEARPrithee away.(Lear shoos Kent away by smacking him in the face. Kent is annoyed.)

EDGARTis noble Kent, your friend.

LEARA plague upon you, murderers, traitors all!I might have saved her; now shes gone for ever.Cordelia, Cordelia, stay a little. Ha!(Kent says Ha! at the same time)What ist thou sayest? Her voice was ever soft,

Gentle and low - an excellent thing in woman.I killed the slave that was a-hanging thee.

SECOND OFFICERTis true, my lords; he did.

LEAR(Lear turns to the Second Officer)Did I not, fellow?

I have seen the day, with my good biting falchionI would have made him skip. I am old nowAnd these same crosses spoil me. - Who are you?(Lear reaches towards Kent)Mine eyes are not the best, Ill tell you straight.

KENTIf Fortune brag of two she loved and hatedOne of them we behold.

LEARThis is a dull sight. Are you not Kent?

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KENTThe same -Your servant Kent. Where is your servant Caius?

LEAR

Hes a good fellow, I can tell you that;Hell strike, and quickly too. Hes dead and rotten.

(Lears body falls from the throne. He is caught by Kent and put back)

KENTNo, my good lord; I am the very man -

LEARIll see that straight.

KENTThat from your first of difference and decayHave followed your sad steps -

LEARYou are welcome hither.

KENT

Nor no man else. Alls cheerless, dark, and deadly.Your eldest daughters have fordone themselves,And desperately are dead.

(Kent points to Gonerill and Regan. Lear nods in agreement.)

LEARAy, so I think.

ALBANYHe knows not what he sees, and vain is itThat we present us to him.

EDGARVery bootless.

Enter a messenger

MESSENGEREdmund is dead, my lord.

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ALBANYThats but a trifle here.You lords and noble friends, know your intent:What comfort to this great decay may comeShall be applied. For us, we will resign

During the life of this old majestyTo him our absolute power.To Edgar and KentYou to your rightsWith boot, and such addition as your honoursHave more than merited. All friends shall tasteThe wages of their virtue, and all foesThe cup of their deservings. - O, see, see!

LEARAnd my poor fool is hanged! No, no, no life!Why should a dog, a horse, a rat have life,And thou no breath at all? Thoult come no more;Never, never, never, never, never.Pray you undo this button. Thank you, sir.Do you see this? Look, her lips!(Lear is leant forward to touch Cordelia but falls out of the throne onto her.)Look there! Look there!

He dies

EDGARHe faints. My lord, my lord!

KENTBreak, heart; I prithee break.

EDGAR

Look up, my lord.

KENTVex not his ghost. O, let him pass. He hates himThat would upon the rack of this tough worldStretch him out longer.

EDGARHe is gone indeed.

KENTThe wonder is he hath endured so long.He but usurped his life.

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ALBANYBear them from hence. Our present businessIs general woe.Friends of my soul, you twain,Rule in this realm, and the gored state sustain.

KENTI have a journey, sir, shortly to go.My master calls me, I must not say no.

EDGARThe weight of this sad time we must obey;Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.The oldest heth borne most; we that are youngShall never see so much nor live so long.

Exeunt with a dead march

CURTAIN

CURTAIN UP

All actors have left the stage.

The throne has been removed from the stage.

All actors, except King Lear, appear on stage to the sound effect of raucousapplause. Kent and Fool are central.

Lear is wheeled out sitting on the throne by Second Knight and Third Knight.As the throne comes to a stop in the middle of the actors Lear falls forwards.The body is caught by Kent and Fool, and placed back in the throne. Learsarms are raised in the air by the Understudy still behind the throne. Applause

becomes noticeably louder.

Kent and Fool look at each other, grin mischievously and look at Lear. Theytake him by the arms and lift the lifeless corpse into the air. The Understudy isseen for a brief moment before ducking behind the throne.

CURTAIN


End of Act 2==========================================================

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ACT 3

SCENE 1

A battlefield after the battle.

Debris litters the stage along with fallen banners.

CURTAIN UP

The entire cast is on stage except for Regan, Albany and the Third Knight/Messenger. The sitting, limp body of the deceased Sir Thomas Betterman iscentre stage. Richard and Simon walk on stage. Richard is very happy,Simon is in shock. The cast are quiet and relieved the play is over.

RICHARD Well done everyone! Well done. You were magnificent. You wereall magnificent.

SIMON To himself I cant believe we did it. I cant believe we got through it. Icant believe... its over.

RICHARD Yes, yes. Everyone was marvelous. Especially you Sir Thomas.

Richard pats Sir Thomas on the head.

SIMON Dont do that Richard.

RICHARD What?

SIMON Dont touch Sir Thomas like that.

RICHARD He doesnt mind.

SIMON You should venerate the dead.

RICHARD Joking Simon, I dont know how to tell you this but we have justspent the last 2 hours venerating the dead as a human piata.

SIMON I know, I know. I cant believe we did it. It was so... so... wrong.

RICHARD We didnt do anything wrong.

SIMON Didnt do anything wrong? Shouts The worlds greatest actor died inour care. AND WE USED HIM AS A FINGER PUPPET!

RICHARD Dont you shout at me. I saved this show.

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HARRY Saved? Saved this show? How?

RICHARD To Harry I directed you all from the wings and was creativeenough to think of a way round our little, opening night... hiccup.

HARRY In disbelief Hiccup?

RICHARD Yes, a teething problem.

HARRY Are you insane?

RICHARD All productions have minor issues that need to be ironed out.

SIMON Ironed out? Whats going to happen when were found out?

RICHARD Whats there to find? That our performance of King Lear is great?

SIMON To Simon Sir Thomas Betterman is dead. Cant you see theheadlines?

RAY Sir Thomas Dead-erman?

SIMON To Ray Shhhhhh.

RICHARD The Greatest Performance of Shakespeares Greatest Play

Simon turns to Richard and opens his mouth to speak.

RAY A Midsummer Nights Death?

SIMON To Ray Will you shut up, Ray.

RICHARD Even the Grim Reaper cant stop the great Sir Thomas

Betterman

HARRY Ha! Rigor mortis will.

SIMON And thats i

dead man talking' by thom goddard

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