domestic violence, trauma & recovery tonier cain p.o. box 175 arnold, md 21012 [email protected]
TRANSCRIPT
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, TRAUMA &TRAUMA &RECOVERYRECOVERY
Tonier CainTonier Cain
P.O. Box 175 P.O. Box 175
Arnold, MD 21012Arnold, MD 21012
[email protected]@aol.com
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BECAUSE HE LOVES HERBECAUSE HE LOVES HER
WHY ARE YOU WHY ARE YOU CRYING?CRYING?
He just loves me too He just loves me too much!much!
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Age:6Age:6
I believed verbal and physical abuse I believed verbal and physical abuse was love.was love.
• I watched my father beat my mother I watched my father beat my mother everyday .everyday .
• She’s at the hospital again.She’s at the hospital again.
• He’s gone? Why? He loves her!He’s gone? Why? He loves her!
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She found love…She found love…
• Her new boyfriend beats her, he Her new boyfriend beats her, he loves her.loves her.
• If It’s love why does she scream If It’s love why does she scream and cry?and cry?
• She’s gone to the hospital again.She’s gone to the hospital again.
• He’s gone, why? He loves her!He’s gone, why? He loves her!
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Trauma felt at 9 years old.Trauma felt at 9 years old.
• Verbal and physical abuse from motherVerbal and physical abuse from mother
• MolestationMolestation
• Left to care for siblingsLeft to care for siblings
• Started drinking alcoholStarted drinking alcohol
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TERRIFIED ELEVENTERRIFIED ELEVEN
• Removed from motherRemoved from mother
• Placed in foster carePlaced in foster care
• Dysfunctional family Dysfunctional family
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HOPELESS FOURTEENHOPELESS FOURTEEN
• She loves me, she wants me back.She loves me, she wants me back.
• How do I live without her.How do I live without her.
• Attempted suicideAttempted suicide
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19 years old and beyond19 years old and beyond
• Drug addictionDrug addiction
• Introduction to Criminal Justice Introduction to Criminal Justice SystemSystem
• Mental InstitutionsMental Institutions
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MARRIED CHILDMARRIED CHILD
• He beats me, does he love me?He beats me, does he love me?
• She moved in with my little sisters.She moved in with my little sisters.
• Abuse from him and her.Abuse from him and her.
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RETRAUMATIZEDRETRAUMATIZED
• Arresting OfficersArresting Officers
• Correctional OfficersCorrectional Officers
• Drug Addiction CounselorsDrug Addiction Counselors
• Seclusion and RestraintsSeclusion and Restraints
• Over-medicatedOver-medicated
• HospitalsHospitals
• State AgenciesState Agencies
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After Trauma TreatmentAfter Trauma Treatment
• Drug and alcohol freeDrug and alcohol free
• Secure attachment with daughterSecure attachment with daughter
• Medication freeMedication free
• AdvocateAdvocate
• Board MemberBoard Member
• Council memberCouncil member
• Homeowner and moreHomeowner and more
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What if……………What if……………
• At age 9 someone recognized my At age 9 someone recognized my traumatrauma
• I embraced trauma treatment thenI embraced trauma treatment then
• School employees, hospitals, state School employees, hospitals, state agencies, rehabs., arresting officers agencies, rehabs., arresting officers were all trained in traumawere all trained in trauma
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Isn’t it possible that the results Isn’t it possible that the results could’ve been this……….could’ve been this……….
• This child, to this woman, to this This child, to this woman, to this mother without the destructionmother without the destruction
• A THOUGHT, HUH?A THOUGHT, HUH?
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