Download - I Hope This Reaches Her in Time
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Ihopethis
reachesherintime
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CONTENTS
Ihopethisreachesherintimeyoushouldhavelovedherwhenshecared1:11…CopyrightPage
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goodwomenaretiredofgivingtheirlovetopeoplewhodonothingbutbreaktheirspiritmightywomenaretiredofusingtheirstrengthtoholdontorelationshipsthataren’tworthyoftheirenergythesewomenarecapableofwalkingawayandtheywill
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eventuallythegirlyoutookforgrantedwilltakeherloveandgiveittoherselfandsomedaysomeonebetterthanyouwillloveherinallthewaysyoucouldn’t
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thejoyisreplacedwithsadnessyourexpectationsbecomedisappointmentthetruthwasjustanattractivelieabunchoflettersformingwordsthatcametogethertocreatesentencesofmanipulationtheheartbecomescoldasiftoloseit’ssummerthesoulbecomestiredyouandyourrestlessspiritwhat’sbehindthosedeadeyesyouwearthatblankexpressionlikenewskinyouwearsadnesslikethelatestfashionyouwearpainlikegarmentsyou’vebeendrapedinanguishdon’tyoumisswhoyouwerebeforewhoyoubecametookoveryourlife
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doyoumissyourself
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likeimissyou
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doyouevenrememberwhatitfeltliketobehappyhaveyouforgottenyourselfbeneathyourtroubles
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andallofthisforalovethatturnedouttobehatredallofthisforaheartthatneverdeservedyoursallofthishurtforarelationshipthatwouldneverworkallofyourselfallofeverythinginvestedintosomethingthatnowfeelslikenothing
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dropsofrainonwindowsthecitylookslikeyouasmelancholyfillsthestreetsthechillintheairfeelslikeyourbreathandtheweatherresembleseverythingthatsitswithinyoursoulyouarecold
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attimesnumbyourunfromthefeelingofitallsometimesyousimplywalkbuteitherwayitallcatchesuptoyoulikedarknessconsuminglightandyouareoncemoreremindedofallthethingsyouforceyourselftoforgetaren’tyoutiredofthisshittheconstantstrugglethefeelingoflonelinesswhilelyingnexttotheonewhopromisedtoloveyoubutneverkepttheirwordwaitingforchangeafraidtoacceptthatitwon’tgetbetter
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aren’tyoutiredoftheirshitthebackandforthnotknowingwhereyoustandthewars,allthisfightingwithoutthefeelingofvictoryallyou’vefeltisdefeat
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thegirlwhodeservesthesunistiredofbeingrainedon
thegirlyoudon’tappreciatewillgettiredoflovingyou
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mygenerationisfilledwithloverswhowillneverknowthetruemeaningoflove
relationshipsthatfeelmorelikeaprisontermandahappinessthatissimplyadelusion
mygeneration,filledwithchaosnopeace,it’sdifficult,it’scomplicatedit’snothing,ithurts,itgetsworse
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youshouldhavelovedherwhenshecared
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youshouldhavetriedharderforher
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1:11…
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onedayyou’llmissheronedayyou’llunderstandtherewillbenightsfilledwithdarknessandyouwilllookforherlighttherewillbenightswheresleepwill
escapeyouandyourmindwillthinkofwhatisgoneshe,likememories
willrunthroughyourbrainlikebloodsurgingthroughveinsandyou’llreachforherhandthenfindyourselflostshecouldhavebeentheloveofyourlifebutyou
refusedtolovehershecouldhavebeenyoursoulmatebutiguessyou’llneverknow
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andsothelonelinesswillgrowfromtheemptinessyoufeelthosenightswillbethetoughestthosemornings,eventougherit’llhurt,youshouldhavelovedherthepainyoufeelwillbethesameheartacheyouputherthroughandnowyouknowyou’llfinallyunderstandhowmuchithurtstowant
someonewhodoesn’twantyou
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youweretheemptinessifeltyouweredarknessconsumingme
youwerethethingkeepingmefromhappiness
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iwastheoceanyouwantedriversiwasthemoon
youchasedthestars
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ineededtofindmyselfbutyouwerekeepingme
fromme
theyearsispentlosingmyself
whiletryingtokeepyou
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1:11inthemorningmyheartissearching
forafeelingthatdoesn’thurt
mymindjustwantstothinkofsomethingthat’llmakemesmile
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myheartbreakswithyoursmysoul,justasrestless
asyourown
ifallbesideyouiunderstandyoursilenceandyouarenotalone
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youdeservesomuchmorethanwhatyou’vebeengiven
youoweittoyourselftogiveyourselfthelove
thatyou’vemisplacedinothers
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youaremorethanjustabodycountyouaremorethanjustaconquestyouaremorethanjustaname
onthelistofheartstheytookadvantageof
andevenafterithappensyouwillalwaysbemore
thantheydeserved
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wefindtimetowasterememberingthefaceswestruggletoerasewegiveenergytothosewhogivenothinginreturnwelearnthehardwaybutinsteadof
lettinggowestay
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welove
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wefallinlovewithrelationshipsfilledwithhatewebecomecontentwithgivingourselvestothewrongmatecrashingintowallsworseningourwoundsdeepeningthebruises
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theendlesscycleofrecyclingrelationshipsthatnolongerdeserve
ourattention
beingattentivetolovers
whopretendtocare
constantlyshowingupforothers
whoareneverthere
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youarechainedtothepast
it’stimetofreeyourself
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it’salmostasifhersoulisapackofwolvesshe’sbrave,she’sstrong
she’sunstoppable
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youcanmisspeoplebutyoudon’thavetowantthemback
youcanforgivepeoplebutyoudon’thaveto
givethemsecondchances
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121914
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shemadeoceanswithhertears
sheusedtheheartacheasmotivationtobuild
theboatinhopesofsailing
farawayfromeverythingandeveryonewhohurther
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themooniswatchingyouithearsyoursighs
itwitnessesyourstrugglestocloseyoureyes
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sheworelonelinessinasmile
shehidthesadnesswithlaughter
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thecloudsdancearoundeachotherlikeloversavoidingthetruth
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allofherstarsareburning
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cryemptyyourselfofallthepainhecausedyou
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iwaskillingmetogiveuslifeiwasdrowningtosavetheperson
whokeptpushingmyheadunderwater
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yourabsencetaughtmehowtobemyownlover
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youwillbereadywhenitistimeforyourhearttofightbackagainsttheonewhohurtyou
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girlslikeyouhaverosesinsideofthem
thatarestrongenoughtobloomthroughblizzards
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youbeganasrootsbutyoublossomintomore
youarenotyourpastbehere,bepresent
bemore
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relationshipsendbutyourstorymustn’tfinish
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somedayyoursoulwillnolongerlingerinplaceswherepainexist
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iwon’tjudgeyouorcriticizeyoufordoingwhatyou’vedone
ionlywishyousawwhatiseewhenilookatyouionlywishyouwishedformorethanwhatyou’vesettledfor
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youarenotaphaseyouarenotsometrendyouaremorethanjustsomethingtodoforthemomentmorethanahobbymorethanyoumayevenknow
youaremoreandyoudeservemorethanwhatthey’rewillingtogiveyou
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you,readingthisyoureyesdancing
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onthispageyou,theonewhoknowshowitfeelstohavetheirheartracingoutoftheirchestoverrunwithanxietydesperateforreliefitisyouwhowantstobelovedunderstoodforeverythingthatyouareitisyou,theonereadingthistheonewhoisclosetotearssoclosetobreakingitisyouwhowillsaveyourselfbecausethisiswhatyou’vealwaysdonebecauseyouarestrongenoughtodoso
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therearesomanywarsgoingonatnightsomanyheartsarefightingtosurvivewithoutlight
thedarknesscontainseverythingweshouldforgettheregretsaremagnifiedthenightisplaguedwithwhatifs
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dancingtothesilenceofthenightweswaylikeabedofrosesinthewind
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heonlylovedyouinthedark
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insecretbehindclosedbedroomdoorshewasyours
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untilhecameandthenheleftwheneverhewasdonedrainingyouofeverythingheneverdeservedaren’tyoutiredofalovethatfeelslessthaneverythingyouclaimedyouwantedhasyoursoulgrownwearyofbeingwithsomeonewhoonlywantsyouforanutsomeonewhocumsbutneverstaysyourheartdeservesbetter
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iwasstandingherethewholetime
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myheartinmyhandpreparedforcommitmentandeagertolovebutyoudidn’tseemeuntilafteritfailedwiththeothersandidecidednottobeyoursecondchoiceyourlastditcheffortatloveirefusedtobetheoneyouchoseaftertheonesyouoverlookedmeforrefusedtochooseyouiwasstandingherethewholetimebutyoudecidednottoseeme
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maybethebadboysaren’tgoodenoughforyou
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itwasrainingintheparkthatdayshewassittingonabenchmidmay,wearingtheeyesofsadnessandforthelifeofmeicouldn’ttellifshewascryingbecausehertearswouldhaveblendedinwiththerainhersoulasdarkastheafternoonskyandisaidnothingbutwonderedwhythegirlsittingalonehandclutchingherphoneatalossforwordswithsomuchpaininherheart
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thoughtitwasroyalbutalliseeisfakekingsclaimingathronetheydon’tdeservetositonreachingforacrowntheydon’tdeservetowear
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hecallsbutmostlywhenheneedssomethinghaven’tyounoticedpretendingtogiveadamnaboutyourdayjusttogethiswaythemanipulationhurtsbutyou’llsitthereandmakeexcusesforhimseeingwhatyouwanthearingonethingandthinkinganotherwhateverhelpswiththedelusionalbecausethetruthissomuchhardertoaccept
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foolishofmetobelievethatadysfunctionalfamilycouldfunctioninawaythatmademefeelloved
justlikeanyandeverythingelsethingsareneverwhattheyseempeoplechangeormaybetheysimplyrevertbacktoeverythingthey’resupposedtobe
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youmeantotellmethatyou’resoafraidofbeingalonethatyou’vedecidedtoholdontotheonepersonwhomakesyoufeellonelyevenwhilesittingbesidethemyoukeepsayingyouwantrealloveandyetyou’vechosentoentertainthesamepersonwhowillneverloveyoutheheartwantswhatitwantsandit’stoobadthattheheart
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yourheartdoesn’twanttheonewhodeservesyoui’dtellyoutoletgobutyou’lljustsayit’seasiersaidthandone
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typicalpredictableclaimingtobeinlovewithsomeonewhohasdonenothingtomakeyoufeellovedsomeonewhohasdonenothingbutmakeyouhateyourselfandsometimesyouhatethemjustthesame
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iwishyourdesire
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tobehappy
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somehowoutweighedyourtolerancefortheheartachethey’vecausedyou
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arewestillpretendingthatitdoesn’thurtholdingontobrokenrelationshipsinhopesthatsomedaythey’llworkarewestillholdingonusingthelastbitofstrengthwehaveonloverswhoonlywishtouseusupthentossusoutlikeapieceofnotebookfilledwitherrorsarewestilllisteningtoliesbelievinginliarswhosaywhatevertheyneedtosayjusttogetanotheropportunitytohurtusarewehurtingyetsayingnothingit’spainfulbutwe’vekeptquietinhopesthatthingswillchangearewe...areyou...ami...
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yourfatherthefirstmanyouknewthefirstmanyou’dloveonehalfofthereasonwhyyougrewupsohard
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soyoungandyetyourheartbegantoachebreakingintoamillionpiecesasyoualonewouldlearntopickyourselfup
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yourfatherthefirstmantodisappointyouthefirstmantoletyoudownthefirstmantocauseyoutoloweryourexpectationshelovedyou,yesbutiguessnotenoughtoprotectyouwhileyoulovedhimenoughtolookpasthisfailuresyou’dgoontoaccepthishalfasseffortstoloveyouyou’dgoontoacceptmenandtheirhalfasseffortstoloveyou
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yourfatheronlypresentjustenoughforyoutofeellikeyoumatteredyourlovers
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onlypresentenoughtofoolyouintothinkingtheycarediusedtowondertomyselfhowcouldyoueverloveamanwhobarelymadeaneffortbuttheniwitnessedyourfatherashebarelytried
andwithtearsinyoureyesyousaidyoulovedhimyourfathertaughtyouhowtolovemen
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whoremindedyouofhim
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thebrokengirlsaretheflowersoftheearththeygrowthroughtoughconditionstheybloomforthemselves
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amanchildwillloveyouquietlybutarealmanwillbeloudinhisappreciationofyourheart
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ihopeyourflowersbloomthroughtherain
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youdon’tevenseehowoftenthestarsperformforyouinthemiddleofeverynight
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theheartachewillteachyouthenpeacewillfillyou
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brokengirlsblossomintowarriors
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beneathajackettwosizeslargerthanyourbodyyourarmsfoldedasiftokeepyoursecret
youhidyourselffromtheworldbecausetheworldbetrayedyou
therobbingofyourinnocenceaninappropriatetouch
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behindthosewallsbehindthebarriersthatkeeptheworldfromyourheartisawomanworthfightingfor
behindthosewallsthattall,strongseparationfromtheworldlivesaloveworthwishingfor
youaregreaterthanwhathashappenedyouarefarmoregreaterthanthewhatoccurredinyourpast
behindthosewallsbehindsthatcementthathaskeptothersfromhurtingyouliketheonesfrombeforelivesalove
thatonlyyoucanprovidealovelikeyoursisworthclimbingthewallthatsitsinfrontofyourheart
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whatweloveshouldinspireuswhoweloveshouldinspireourstrengthbutyouhavefallenforhands
notworthyofyourskinyouhavefallenforamindthatwillneverunderstandyourvalue
youhavefallenforaheartincapableoflovingyouthewayyouneedwhatwelove
whatyouloveshouldfeellikeparadiseduringthestormthepersonyouloveshouldfeellikestillnessduringanearthquakebutyou’vefallenforsomeone
whowillneverbeabletobebraveenoughtofallforyou
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thenightwillfadeawayandsowillthedarknessthemoonwillfloatintotheabyssandthesunwillannounceitselfwitharayoflightandhopeandwarmth
andbeautythemorningwillcomethedaywillbeginandthecornersofmyroomthedarkcornersofmyroomwillbefilledwitha
lightthatwillkilloff
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allthethingsandallthepainthathauntsmeduringtherisingofthemoonthesunwillsitin
theskyanditwillshineprovidingit’slightgivingmeenoughtimeandapeaceofmind
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toevadeyou
becauseyouliveinthemidnightswhereifeelhopelessfilledwithdespairyouliveinthenightthedarkness,therestlessnesstheairofuncertainty
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youliveinthemomentswheremyeyescannotcloseyousurviveinshattereddreamsandthebruisingofmysoulbutjustlikethenightyoufadebehindthe
horizonandjustlikethesunirise,possiblybrighterandstrongerthanbeforethemorningwillcome
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thedaywillbeginandyouwillbeforgottenoncemore
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missmelikearcherswithbadaimlosemelikehandsonaropeincapableofholdingonregretleavingmelikethesundoes
theskymyabsencelikeaslowdeaththatyou’llstruggletosurvivelookforme
likeeyesstrugglingthroughdarknessreachformelikelungsstrugglingforairsearchformelikethemeaningofwordssearchformewhereyouleftmeandi
willnolongerbethere
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tellingherthatshe’sbeautifulwhiledestroyingherconfidenceisabuse
tellingheryouloveherwhileactingasifyouhateher
isabuse
fillingherupwithfalsehopewithnointentionofchanging
ordoingbetterisabuse
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untilnexttime,talktoyousoon…(callends…)
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