i hope this reaches her in time
TRANSCRIPT
Ihopethis
reachesherintime
CONTENTS
Ihopethisreachesherintimeyoushouldhavelovedherwhenshecared1:11…CopyrightPage
goodwomenaretiredofgivingtheirlovetopeoplewhodonothingbutbreaktheirspiritmightywomenaretiredofusingtheirstrengthtoholdontorelationshipsthataren’tworthyoftheirenergythesewomenarecapableofwalkingawayandtheywill
eventuallythegirlyoutookforgrantedwilltakeherloveandgiveittoherselfandsomedaysomeonebetterthanyouwillloveherinallthewaysyoucouldn’t
thejoyisreplacedwithsadnessyourexpectationsbecomedisappointmentthetruthwasjustanattractivelieabunchoflettersformingwordsthatcametogethertocreatesentencesofmanipulationtheheartbecomescoldasiftoloseit’ssummerthesoulbecomestiredyouandyourrestlessspiritwhat’sbehindthosedeadeyesyouwearthatblankexpressionlikenewskinyouwearsadnesslikethelatestfashionyouwearpainlikegarmentsyou’vebeendrapedinanguishdon’tyoumisswhoyouwerebeforewhoyoubecametookoveryourlife
doyoumissyourself
likeimissyou
doyouevenrememberwhatitfeltliketobehappyhaveyouforgottenyourselfbeneathyourtroubles
andallofthisforalovethatturnedouttobehatredallofthisforaheartthatneverdeservedyoursallofthishurtforarelationshipthatwouldneverworkallofyourselfallofeverythinginvestedintosomethingthatnowfeelslikenothing
dropsofrainonwindowsthecitylookslikeyouasmelancholyfillsthestreetsthechillintheairfeelslikeyourbreathandtheweatherresembleseverythingthatsitswithinyoursoulyouarecold
attimesnumbyourunfromthefeelingofitallsometimesyousimplywalkbuteitherwayitallcatchesuptoyoulikedarknessconsuminglightandyouareoncemoreremindedofallthethingsyouforceyourselftoforgetaren’tyoutiredofthisshittheconstantstrugglethefeelingoflonelinesswhilelyingnexttotheonewhopromisedtoloveyoubutneverkepttheirwordwaitingforchangeafraidtoacceptthatitwon’tgetbetter
aren’tyoutiredoftheirshitthebackandforthnotknowingwhereyoustandthewars,allthisfightingwithoutthefeelingofvictoryallyou’vefeltisdefeat
thegirlwhodeservesthesunistiredofbeingrainedon
thegirlyoudon’tappreciatewillgettiredoflovingyou
mygenerationisfilledwithloverswhowillneverknowthetruemeaningoflove
relationshipsthatfeelmorelikeaprisontermandahappinessthatissimplyadelusion
mygeneration,filledwithchaosnopeace,it’sdifficult,it’scomplicatedit’snothing,ithurts,itgetsworse
youshouldhavelovedherwhenshecared
youshouldhavetriedharderforher
1:11…
onedayyou’llmissheronedayyou’llunderstandtherewillbenightsfilledwithdarknessandyouwilllookforherlighttherewillbenightswheresleepwill
escapeyouandyourmindwillthinkofwhatisgoneshe,likememories
willrunthroughyourbrainlikebloodsurgingthroughveinsandyou’llreachforherhandthenfindyourselflostshecouldhavebeentheloveofyourlifebutyou
refusedtolovehershecouldhavebeenyoursoulmatebutiguessyou’llneverknow
andsothelonelinesswillgrowfromtheemptinessyoufeelthosenightswillbethetoughestthosemornings,eventougherit’llhurt,youshouldhavelovedherthepainyoufeelwillbethesameheartacheyouputherthroughandnowyouknowyou’llfinallyunderstandhowmuchithurtstowant
someonewhodoesn’twantyou
youweretheemptinessifeltyouweredarknessconsumingme
youwerethethingkeepingmefromhappiness
iwastheoceanyouwantedriversiwasthemoon
youchasedthestars
ineededtofindmyselfbutyouwerekeepingme
fromme
theyearsispentlosingmyself
whiletryingtokeepyou
1:11inthemorningmyheartissearching
forafeelingthatdoesn’thurt
mymindjustwantstothinkofsomethingthat’llmakemesmile
myheartbreakswithyoursmysoul,justasrestless
asyourown
ifallbesideyouiunderstandyoursilenceandyouarenotalone
youdeservesomuchmorethanwhatyou’vebeengiven
youoweittoyourselftogiveyourselfthelove
thatyou’vemisplacedinothers
youaremorethanjustabodycountyouaremorethanjustaconquestyouaremorethanjustaname
onthelistofheartstheytookadvantageof
andevenafterithappensyouwillalwaysbemore
thantheydeserved
wefindtimetowasterememberingthefaceswestruggletoerasewegiveenergytothosewhogivenothinginreturnwelearnthehardwaybutinsteadof
lettinggowestay
welove
wefallinlovewithrelationshipsfilledwithhatewebecomecontentwithgivingourselvestothewrongmatecrashingintowallsworseningourwoundsdeepeningthebruises
theendlesscycleofrecyclingrelationshipsthatnolongerdeserve
ourattention
beingattentivetolovers
whopretendtocare
constantlyshowingupforothers
whoareneverthere
youarechainedtothepast
it’stimetofreeyourself
it’salmostasifhersoulisapackofwolvesshe’sbrave,she’sstrong
she’sunstoppable
youcanmisspeoplebutyoudon’thavetowantthemback
youcanforgivepeoplebutyoudon’thaveto
givethemsecondchances
121914
shemadeoceanswithhertears
sheusedtheheartacheasmotivationtobuild
theboatinhopesofsailing
farawayfromeverythingandeveryonewhohurther
themooniswatchingyouithearsyoursighs
itwitnessesyourstrugglestocloseyoureyes
sheworelonelinessinasmile
shehidthesadnesswithlaughter
thecloudsdancearoundeachotherlikeloversavoidingthetruth
allofherstarsareburning
cryemptyyourselfofallthepainhecausedyou
iwaskillingmetogiveuslifeiwasdrowningtosavetheperson
whokeptpushingmyheadunderwater
yourabsencetaughtmehowtobemyownlover
youwillbereadywhenitistimeforyourhearttofightbackagainsttheonewhohurtyou
girlslikeyouhaverosesinsideofthem
thatarestrongenoughtobloomthroughblizzards
youbeganasrootsbutyoublossomintomore
youarenotyourpastbehere,bepresent
bemore
relationshipsendbutyourstorymustn’tfinish
somedayyoursoulwillnolongerlingerinplaceswherepainexist
iwon’tjudgeyouorcriticizeyoufordoingwhatyou’vedone
ionlywishyousawwhatiseewhenilookatyouionlywishyouwishedformorethanwhatyou’vesettledfor
youarenotaphaseyouarenotsometrendyouaremorethanjustsomethingtodoforthemomentmorethanahobbymorethanyoumayevenknow
youaremoreandyoudeservemorethanwhatthey’rewillingtogiveyou
you,readingthisyoureyesdancing
onthispageyou,theonewhoknowshowitfeelstohavetheirheartracingoutoftheirchestoverrunwithanxietydesperateforreliefitisyouwhowantstobelovedunderstoodforeverythingthatyouareitisyou,theonereadingthistheonewhoisclosetotearssoclosetobreakingitisyouwhowillsaveyourselfbecausethisiswhatyou’vealwaysdonebecauseyouarestrongenoughtodoso
therearesomanywarsgoingonatnightsomanyheartsarefightingtosurvivewithoutlight
thedarknesscontainseverythingweshouldforgettheregretsaremagnifiedthenightisplaguedwithwhatifs
dancingtothesilenceofthenightweswaylikeabedofrosesinthewind
heonlylovedyouinthedark
insecretbehindclosedbedroomdoorshewasyours
untilhecameandthenheleftwheneverhewasdonedrainingyouofeverythingheneverdeservedaren’tyoutiredofalovethatfeelslessthaneverythingyouclaimedyouwantedhasyoursoulgrownwearyofbeingwithsomeonewhoonlywantsyouforanutsomeonewhocumsbutneverstaysyourheartdeservesbetter
iwasstandingherethewholetime
myheartinmyhandpreparedforcommitmentandeagertolovebutyoudidn’tseemeuntilafteritfailedwiththeothersandidecidednottobeyoursecondchoiceyourlastditcheffortatloveirefusedtobetheoneyouchoseaftertheonesyouoverlookedmeforrefusedtochooseyouiwasstandingherethewholetimebutyoudecidednottoseeme
maybethebadboysaren’tgoodenoughforyou
itwasrainingintheparkthatdayshewassittingonabenchmidmay,wearingtheeyesofsadnessandforthelifeofmeicouldn’ttellifshewascryingbecausehertearswouldhaveblendedinwiththerainhersoulasdarkastheafternoonskyandisaidnothingbutwonderedwhythegirlsittingalonehandclutchingherphoneatalossforwordswithsomuchpaininherheart
thoughtitwasroyalbutalliseeisfakekingsclaimingathronetheydon’tdeservetositonreachingforacrowntheydon’tdeservetowear
hecallsbutmostlywhenheneedssomethinghaven’tyounoticedpretendingtogiveadamnaboutyourdayjusttogethiswaythemanipulationhurtsbutyou’llsitthereandmakeexcusesforhimseeingwhatyouwanthearingonethingandthinkinganotherwhateverhelpswiththedelusionalbecausethetruthissomuchhardertoaccept
foolishofmetobelievethatadysfunctionalfamilycouldfunctioninawaythatmademefeelloved
justlikeanyandeverythingelsethingsareneverwhattheyseempeoplechangeormaybetheysimplyrevertbacktoeverythingthey’resupposedtobe
youmeantotellmethatyou’resoafraidofbeingalonethatyou’vedecidedtoholdontotheonepersonwhomakesyoufeellonelyevenwhilesittingbesidethemyoukeepsayingyouwantrealloveandyetyou’vechosentoentertainthesamepersonwhowillneverloveyoutheheartwantswhatitwantsandit’stoobadthattheheart
yourheartdoesn’twanttheonewhodeservesyoui’dtellyoutoletgobutyou’lljustsayit’seasiersaidthandone
typicalpredictableclaimingtobeinlovewithsomeonewhohasdonenothingtomakeyoufeellovedsomeonewhohasdonenothingbutmakeyouhateyourselfandsometimesyouhatethemjustthesame
iwishyourdesire
tobehappy
somehowoutweighedyourtolerancefortheheartachethey’vecausedyou
arewestillpretendingthatitdoesn’thurtholdingontobrokenrelationshipsinhopesthatsomedaythey’llworkarewestillholdingonusingthelastbitofstrengthwehaveonloverswhoonlywishtouseusupthentossusoutlikeapieceofnotebookfilledwitherrorsarewestilllisteningtoliesbelievinginliarswhosaywhatevertheyneedtosayjusttogetanotheropportunitytohurtusarewehurtingyetsayingnothingit’spainfulbutwe’vekeptquietinhopesthatthingswillchangearewe...areyou...ami...
yourfatherthefirstmanyouknewthefirstmanyou’dloveonehalfofthereasonwhyyougrewupsohard
soyoungandyetyourheartbegantoachebreakingintoamillionpiecesasyoualonewouldlearntopickyourselfup
yourfatherthefirstmantodisappointyouthefirstmantoletyoudownthefirstmantocauseyoutoloweryourexpectationshelovedyou,yesbutiguessnotenoughtoprotectyouwhileyoulovedhimenoughtolookpasthisfailuresyou’dgoontoaccepthishalfasseffortstoloveyouyou’dgoontoacceptmenandtheirhalfasseffortstoloveyou
yourfatheronlypresentjustenoughforyoutofeellikeyoumatteredyourlovers
onlypresentenoughtofoolyouintothinkingtheycarediusedtowondertomyselfhowcouldyoueverloveamanwhobarelymadeaneffortbuttheniwitnessedyourfatherashebarelytried
andwithtearsinyoureyesyousaidyoulovedhimyourfathertaughtyouhowtolovemen
whoremindedyouofhim
thebrokengirlsaretheflowersoftheearththeygrowthroughtoughconditionstheybloomforthemselves
amanchildwillloveyouquietlybutarealmanwillbeloudinhisappreciationofyourheart
ihopeyourflowersbloomthroughtherain
youdon’tevenseehowoftenthestarsperformforyouinthemiddleofeverynight
theheartachewillteachyouthenpeacewillfillyou
brokengirlsblossomintowarriors
beneathajackettwosizeslargerthanyourbodyyourarmsfoldedasiftokeepyoursecret
youhidyourselffromtheworldbecausetheworldbetrayedyou
therobbingofyourinnocenceaninappropriatetouch
behindthosewallsbehindthebarriersthatkeeptheworldfromyourheartisawomanworthfightingfor
behindthosewallsthattall,strongseparationfromtheworldlivesaloveworthwishingfor
youaregreaterthanwhathashappenedyouarefarmoregreaterthanthewhatoccurredinyourpast
behindthosewallsbehindsthatcementthathaskeptothersfromhurtingyouliketheonesfrombeforelivesalove
thatonlyyoucanprovidealovelikeyoursisworthclimbingthewallthatsitsinfrontofyourheart
whatweloveshouldinspireuswhoweloveshouldinspireourstrengthbutyouhavefallenforhands
notworthyofyourskinyouhavefallenforamindthatwillneverunderstandyourvalue
youhavefallenforaheartincapableoflovingyouthewayyouneedwhatwelove
whatyouloveshouldfeellikeparadiseduringthestormthepersonyouloveshouldfeellikestillnessduringanearthquakebutyou’vefallenforsomeone
whowillneverbeabletobebraveenoughtofallforyou
thenightwillfadeawayandsowillthedarknessthemoonwillfloatintotheabyssandthesunwillannounceitselfwitharayoflightandhopeandwarmth
andbeautythemorningwillcomethedaywillbeginandthecornersofmyroomthedarkcornersofmyroomwillbefilledwitha
lightthatwillkilloff
allthethingsandallthepainthathauntsmeduringtherisingofthemoonthesunwillsitin
theskyanditwillshineprovidingit’slightgivingmeenoughtimeandapeaceofmind
toevadeyou
becauseyouliveinthemidnightswhereifeelhopelessfilledwithdespairyouliveinthenightthedarkness,therestlessnesstheairofuncertainty
youliveinthemomentswheremyeyescannotcloseyousurviveinshattereddreamsandthebruisingofmysoulbutjustlikethenightyoufadebehindthe
horizonandjustlikethesunirise,possiblybrighterandstrongerthanbeforethemorningwillcome
thedaywillbeginandyouwillbeforgottenoncemore
missmelikearcherswithbadaimlosemelikehandsonaropeincapableofholdingonregretleavingmelikethesundoes
theskymyabsencelikeaslowdeaththatyou’llstruggletosurvivelookforme
likeeyesstrugglingthroughdarknessreachformelikelungsstrugglingforairsearchformelikethemeaningofwordssearchformewhereyouleftmeandi
willnolongerbethere
tellingherthatshe’sbeautifulwhiledestroyingherconfidenceisabuse
tellingheryouloveherwhileactingasifyouhateher
isabuse
fillingherupwithfalsehopewithnointentionofchanging
ordoingbetterisabuse
untilnexttime,talktoyousoon…(callends…)
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