Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
The Pearls
Skill Focus: Communications & Managing Conflict
Kiki Maurey OBEExecutive Coach & Speaker
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
developing your leadership skills
Being an effective leader means developing the ability to communicate the business and/or change agenda, thereby positively unifying a group of people around a clear set of values and measurable goals.
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
you cannot NOT communicate
Communication is a complex set of signals and modes of human interaction. We cannot but communicate constantly, not just via speaking and writing, but also our use of body language, our ability to listen, to understand, to empathise, to exchange information.
GREAT COMMUNICATIONS
POOR COMMUNICATIONS
CONFLICT & POOR MORALE
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
Negotiation & influence – Kiki: “The power to maximise mutually positive outcomes through a process of engagement, discussion and mutual understanding.”
Conflict - Thomas and Kilman: “The condition in which people’s concerns – the things they care about – appear to be incompatible.”
the overall AIM of communication?...
… to INFLUENCE AN OUTCOME OR A GOAL.
GREAT COMMUNICATIONS
POOR COMMUNICATIONS
CONFLICT & POOR MORALE
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
taking responsibility
Two options when your message doesn’t get through:
1. Blame people for being stupid, insensitive or somehow unreasonable, or
2. Take responsibility and change the way you communicate your message.
GREAT COMMUNICATIONS
POOR COMMUNICATIONS
CONFLICT & POOR MORALE
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
conflict - perspectives
• Personality clashes • Stress eg sustained peak
performance!!• Heavy workloads / inadequate
resources • Poor leadership / management • Lack of honesty and openness • Lack of clarity eg role, boundaries• and accountability• Lack of creativity, meaning and
autonomy• Cultural factors eg values and
expectations
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
how confident are you?
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Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
communicating and negotiating… reflections
10mins on your individual experiences:
• one interaction that went well• one interaction that went wrong
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
dealing with difficult conversations
Managing conflict:
What are the different approaches?
GREAT COMMUNICATIONS
POOR COMMUNICATIONS
CONFLICT & POOR MORALE
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
3. DOMINATINGImposing or dictating –
win-loseGoing all out to win
Ignoring the needs & expectations of the other
4. COMPROMISINGSoft bargaining
Taking turnsModerating conclusions
- smaller win-win
2. OBLIGINGDoing a favour – lose-win
Being persuadedObeying authority
Deferring & Appeasing
5. INTEGRATINGReconciling – big win-win
Combining insights, sharing information,
OpennessRicher understanding
1. AVOIDINGAvoiding people
– lose-loseAvoiding issues
Postponing discussion
C O N C E R N F O R O T H E R S
CONCERN
FOR
SELF
your default style?
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
1. prepare perspectives and objectives
2. ‘stay in the moment’ and remain calm and assertive
3. don’t take things personally
4. use positive language
5. listen / redirect and defuse their anger
6. turn things around / encourage perspective
7. get them to own their solutions (own the moan!)
7 essentials for dealing with negative people
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict12
people are more likely to say‘yes’ when…
• they like, identify with and trust you!
• they’ve put considerable investment into the discussions
• they’ve had a chance to explore‘what’s in it for them!’
• you’ve made minor concessions or trade-offs
• you’ve engaged and involved them throughout the process
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict13
people are more likely to say‘no’ when…
• they think it's been done before• it's possibly a new and daunting
idea• they feel threatened by change• they don't understand your idea• they’d rather take your idea for
themselves• they don't like you, trust you, or
can’t relate to you• it's just a bad idea, or maybe…• it’s a great idea presented in a bad
way!
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
Source: Rahim (2002) model of conflict styles – offers two overarching attitudes: • Your level of concern for yourself and
your own needs and wants, and• Your level of concern for others, their
needs and concerns.
Choose someone to discuss the model with, and complete the review over the page. Be honest - perhaps think about a current issue, and how your review might improve your future approach. Think about how you could improve your communicating, influencing and conflict management style.
reviewing your style
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
conflict reduction: some simple rules
Use perception to understand where they are coming from, and what might be a win-win
Establish your goal and ideal outcomes, seek creative outcomes
Don’t put it off by sweeping difficult conversations under the carpet
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
conflict reduction: some simple rules
SELF-MANAGEMENT:
• being over-emotional (caring-too-much)• being in too much of a rush (not-thinking-
enough)
Communicate, adapt the message, communicate, adapt the message…
Engage brain B4 mouth: Design ‘the message / communication’ for maximum positive impact
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
‘in-a-nutshell’ great communicators & influencers…
• Tell stories, paint mental pictures, illustrate with anecdotes
• Remain empathetic, and positive (conflict is ‘emotional’)
• Rehearse their style and approach (brain training!)
• Remember their posture, gestures, demeanour
• Not only listen, but ask questions, take notes and feed back
• Allow the other side to give their perspective or to tell ‘their stories’
• If you disagree do it more like this “… from my perspective, limited as it may be, I see things this way…”
CONFLICT & POOR MORALE
GREAT COMMUNICATIONS
Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]
Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict
any reflections and actions?
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Thomas Edison