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7/30/2019 M.V.P. Most Vacuous Praise by Jennifer Greenstein
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August 26, 2010, 6:52 pm
Complaint Box | M.V.P., Most Vacuous Praise
ByJENNIFER GREENSTEIN
Complaint Box Fit to Be Tied?Send your tales of ire and indignation no more than 500 words, please to:
The parents and players on my 7-year-old sons baseball team assembled near the
pitchers mound on a recent Saturday. Under a blazing sun, the boys lined up to
receive a handshake from the coach, a trophy and an entreaty to smile from their
camera-toting parents.
My sons trophy named him the 2010 East Brunswick, N.J., Baseball League
Instructional 7s Most Valuable Player. I was stunned. Had my skinny but
baseball-addicted son really surpassed all his teammates? As the rest of the boys
received their awards, the truth came out: The inscription was the same on every
trophy.
Welcome to parenting in the 21st century. As Garrison Keillor says, all the children
are above average. But is this really what we want to teach our kids?
Whats wrong with recognizing the true outstanding player on the team and letting
some kids know they should consider taking up the violin? Theres nothing wrong
with losing. My son watches his beloved Boston Red Sox lose all the time. This
afternoon, he will probably be watching one of the worlds best Little League teams
filled with outstanding players lose the Little League World Series title to a
slightly better team. The sting of defeat is part of life, a big part.
I have a single trophy from my childhood. It dubs me the Most Improved Player of
1983 code for a klutz with a good attitude at a small tennis camp in Vermont.
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7/30/2019 M.V.P. Most Vacuous Praise by Jennifer Greenstein
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But Im still proud of it. (Its on my living room shelf.) My sons bureau,
meanwhile, is cluttered with trophies, medals and citations from three years of
sports participation, a plethora of adulation and congratulation.
Instead of coddling our children with fake praise and training them to expectconstant applause, I think we should let someone lose and let someone else win.
Our children will learn resilience, and they will understand how the world really
works. My childhood taught me that Id best find something besides sports to be
good at. Knowing that I was not going to be the next Chris Evert, I joined the high
school newspaper. I could try to be Woodward and Bernstein instead.
The adults who commission trophies with accolades for everyone are creating an
impression thats bound to be shattered. And our children will learn to mistrust the
grown-ups who bestow unearned acclaim.
This year, the students at my sons school were treated to a day of games at a local
park. That afternoon, my son came home with a certificate awarded to his team for
finishing in second place.
When I congratulated him, he rolled his eyes. Mom, he said, annoyed, there
were only two teams.
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