Our children, Our Legacy
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser
What do people leave behind for posterity?
Wealth Property Business Empires
Charity homes
Name/ landmarks
What we think about kids?
Our children are the next generation and we are passing on a legacy to them—whether for
good or for ill.
Questions for parents
For those of us who are
parents or grandparents:
What hope do we have
that our children
will stand by their faith?
Live by their
values?
What are you
counting on?
What are you hoping
in— that will
produce relationally
healthy, followers of God?
Alarming decline in moral direction and
spiritual values
No need for religion
Science reigns
Nuclear family
disintegrated
Society is competitive
and materialistic
Parenting approach
Child oriented
Vague parental focus
Less direction for right and wrong
Focus of success is material prosperity
Changes in culture and society have been so gradual that the human mind
has not always detected them
We Live In A Culture Hostile to Values
• Diminished respect for marriage• Unfaithfulness in marriage• Rise in divorce rates• Destroying gender role distinctions• Distractions - Busy mom’s and dad’s• More focus on the secular than the holy
The world’s attack on the family
The London Sunday Times of November 1,
1998, reported
“According to Kay Hymowitz, author of a book on tweens [an age group between childhood and adolescence]... busy parents are spending less time with their children—so television, magazines and peers at school are becoming more significant influences on children's lives. ‘It's a very disturbing trend’ [Hymowitz] said. ‘Parental absence, the market and the peer group form a vicious circle that works to distort the development of youngsters.’”
Raising Godly Children In An Ungodly World
We Live In A Culture Hostile to Godly Values
Television, movie, and music industries glorify immorality of all kinds – especially sexual sins., while ridiculing godliness
Government education promotes immorality and tolerance for every form of ungodliness – while forbidding exhibitions of faith in Christ -
Naturalistic Evolution and humanism are taught in public schools at every level -
What parents need…..
Recapture a strong sense of values and
beliefs
Teach their offspring so as to benefit them
and succeeding generations.
Think About It …
Abu Huraira (ra) reported Allah's Messenger (saw) as saying, "Among the actions and good deads for which a believer will continue to receive reward after his death are knowledge which he taught and spread, a good son whom he left behind, or a copy of the Qur'an which he left as a legacy, or a mosque he built, or a house which he built for the traveller, or a stream which he caused to flow, or a sadaqa which he gave from his property when he was alive and well, for which he will continue to receive reward after his death." (Ibn Majah and Baihaqi)
Back to basics
Become a good coach in their decisions.
Counsel with Dua
Mentor, using your life as an example
Be a friend for life
Ibrahim (A.S): (37:100)
ل�ي ه�ب� ب� ر��ح�ين� الص�ال م�ن�
Zakariyah (AS): (3:38)
ل�ي ه�ب� ب� ر��ة ي ذ#ر� �د#نك� ل م�ن
�ك� �ن إ �ة �ب �ط�يالد.ع�اء� م�يع# س�
Ibad ur Rahman: (25:74)
م�ن� �ا �ن ل ه�ب� �ا �ن ب ر��ا �ن �ات ي و�ذ#ر� �ا ن و�اج� �ز� أ
#ن9 �ع�ي أ ة� �ق#ر�ق�ين� �م#ت �ل ل �ا �ن و�اج�ع�ل
�م�ام ا إ
Right Foundation
What is the purpose of the foundation of a building?
Why would we need a spiritual foundation?
Keep Your Focus
Role Modeling Principles
�م�ين� �ع�ال ال ب� �ر� ل �م�ت# ل س�� أ ق�ال� �م� ل س�
� .ه#أ ب ر� �ه# ل ق�ال� �ذ� �إ Behold! his Lord said to him: "Bow (thy will to Me):" He said: "I bow (my
will) to the Lord and Cherisher of the Universe.”
�ه� الل ��ن إ ��ي �ن ب �ا ي �ع�ق#وب# و�ي �يه� �ن ب اه�يم# �ر� �ب إ �ه�ا ب Nى�و�و�ص�م#ون� ل م.س� #م �نت و�أ ��ال إ �#ن �م#وت ت ف�ال� الد�ين� #م# �ك ل Nاص�ط�ف�ى
And this was the legacy that Abraham left to his sons, and so did Jacob; "Oh my sons! Allah hath chosen the Faith for you; then die not except in
the Faith of Islam.”
(2: 131-133)
Advice of Luqman to his sons
Out of Question: Shirk
ر�ك� #ش� ت ال� ��ي #ن ب �ا ي �ع�ظ#ه# ي و�ه#و� �ه� �ن ب ال� #ق�م�ان# ل ق�ال� �ذ� و�إ dع�ظ�يمdم� �ظ#ل ل �ن�الش�ر�ك� إ �ه� �الل ب
Behold, Luqman said to his son by way of instruction: "O my son! join not in worship (others) with Allah: for false worship
is indeed the highest wrong-doing.”(31:13)
Tarbiyah of children by Rasulullah (saw)
• Friendly• Focus on Fard ibadah• Habit formation• Role modeling
Teach Them God’s Word
Begin teaching them the Quran
early
Teach them “diligently” –
keeping it before them at all times
Teach them by living it
Regulate Their Friends
Do not be deceived into thinking that worldly friends will not negatively influence your child. Children may see it as intrusive, especially in the teenage years, but it is necessary – it is your duty to protect them.
Develop Taqwa
و� � أ ف�يالس�م�او�ات� و�
� أ #نف�يص�خ�ر�ة9 �ك ف�ت �ة9م�ن�خ�ر�د�ل9 ح�ب �ق�ال� م�ث �ك# �نت إ �ه�ا �ن إ ��ي #ن �اب ير� ب�ي خ� ر ب�ي خ� خ �� خ ا� خ�� ب�ا � ه �� خ ا� خ�ا ب� ب� أ�ا خ� �ب �أ �خ� أ� ا ب!ي
"O my son!" (said Luqman), "If there be (but) the weight of a mustard-seed and it were (hidden) in a rock, or (anywhere) in the heavens or on earth, Allah will bring it forth: for Allah understands the finest mysteries, (and) is well-acquainted
(with them).(31: 16)
Teach Taqwah via Life Message
What kind of Quranic truths or principles might be taught in this situation?
Teach taqwah via Life Message
What kind of Quranic truths or principles might be taught in this situation?
Teach Taqwah via Life Message
What kind of Quranic truths or principles might be taught in this situation?
Personality traits
�ر� �م#نك ال ع�ن� �ه� و�ان وف� �م�ع�ر# �ال ب م#ر�� و�أ ة� الص�ال� � �ق�م أ ��ي #ن ب �ا ي
#م#ور� األ� � م ع�ز� م�ن� ذ�Nل�ك� ��ن إ �ك� ص�اب� م�اأ Nع�ل�ى �ر� �و�اص�ب
"O my son! establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy
whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs.
(31:18)
Discipline Them Properly
Teach them to respect authority
Teach them to think – discerning right from wrong
Be firm on disobedience
Listen for ways we should communicate
with our children
Teach Them How To Love By Loving
Them
To love them is to value
them
Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) came to some children who were playing: He
greeted them lovingly. (Abu Dawood)
Dress Them Appropriately
Teach them the meaning
and importance of
modesty
Like it or not, clothing sends a
message
Get Them Involved In Good Deeds
Getting them involved in
helping others consistently
will train them to be conscious of others needs.
Words of Wisdom
Let your child play
upto seven years;
And keep him with you
(for education
and training) for another
seven years;
Then let him succeed
(well and good)
Kanwal Kaisser