Our children, Our Legacy

Dr. Kanwal Kaisser

What do people leave behind for posterity?

Wealth Property Business Empires

Charity homes

Name/ landmarks

What we think about kids?

Our children are the next generation and we are passing on a legacy to them—whether for

good or for ill.

Questions for parents

For those of us who are

parents or grandparents:

What hope do we have

that our children

will stand by their faith?

Live by their

values?

What are you

counting on?

What are you hoping

in— that will

produce relationally

healthy, followers of God?

Alarming decline in moral direction and

spiritual values

No need for religion

Science reigns

Nuclear family

disintegrated

Society is competitive

and materialistic

Parenting approach

Child oriented

Vague parental focus

Less direction for right and wrong

Focus of success is material prosperity

Changes in culture and society have been so gradual that the human mind

has not always detected them

We Live In A Culture Hostile to Values

• Diminished respect for marriage• Unfaithfulness in marriage• Rise in divorce rates• Destroying gender role distinctions• Distractions - Busy mom’s and dad’s• More focus on the secular than the holy

The world’s attack on the family

The London Sunday Times of November 1,

1998, reported

“According to Kay Hymowitz, author of a book on tweens [an age group between childhood and adolescence]... busy parents are spending less time with their children—so television, magazines and peers at school are becoming more significant influences on children's lives. ‘It's a very disturbing trend’ [Hymowitz] said. ‘Parental absence, the market and the peer group form a vicious circle that works to distort the development of youngsters.’”

Raising Godly Children In An Ungodly World

We Live In A Culture Hostile to Godly Values

Television, movie, and music industries glorify immorality of all kinds – especially sexual sins., while ridiculing godliness

Government education promotes immorality and tolerance for every form of ungodliness – while forbidding exhibitions of faith in Christ -

Naturalistic Evolution and humanism are taught in public schools at every level -

What parents need…..

Recapture a strong sense of values and

beliefs

Teach their offspring so as to benefit them

and succeeding generations.

Think About It …

Abu Huraira (ra) reported Allah's Messenger (saw) as saying, "Among the actions and good deads for which a believer will continue to receive reward after his death are knowledge which he taught and spread, a good son whom he left behind, or a copy of the Qur'an which he left as a legacy, or a mosque he built, or a house which he built for the traveller, or a stream which he caused to flow, or a sadaqa which he gave from his property when he was alive and well, for which he will continue to receive reward after his death." (Ibn Majah and Baihaqi)

Back to basics

Become a good coach in their decisions.

Counsel with Dua

Mentor, using your life as an example

Be a friend for life

Ibrahim (A.S): (37:100)

ل�ي ه�ب� ب� ر��ح�ين� الص�ال م�ن�

Zakariyah (AS): (3:38)

ل�ي ه�ب� ب� ر��ة ي ذ#ر� �د#نك� ل م�ن

�ك� �ن إ �ة   �ب  �ط�يالد.ع�اء� م�يع# س�

Ibad ur Rahman: (25:74)

م�ن� �ا �ن ل ه�ب� �ا �ن ب ر��ا �ن �ات ي و�ذ#ر� �ا ن و�اج� �ز� أ

#ن9 �ع�ي أ ة� �ق#ر�ق�ين� �م#ت �ل ل �ا �ن و�اج�ع�ل

�م�ام ا إ

Right Foundation

What is the purpose of the foundation of a building?

Why would we need a spiritual foundation?

Keep Your Focus

Role Modeling Principles

�م�ين� �ع�ال ال ب� �ر� ل �م�ت# ل س�� أ ق�ال�   �م� ل س�

� .ه#أ ب ر� �ه# ل ق�ال� �ذ�  �إ Behold! his Lord said to him: "Bow (thy will to Me):" He said: "I bow (my

will) to the Lord and Cherisher of the Universe.”

�ه� الل ��ن إ ��ي �ن ب �ا ي �ع�ق#وب# و�ي �يه� �ن ب اه�يم# �ر� �ب إ �ه�ا ب Nى�و�و�ص�م#ون� ل م.س� #م �نت و�أ ��ال إ �#ن �م#وت ت ف�ال� الد�ين� #م# �ك ل Nاص�ط�ف�ى

And this was the legacy that Abraham left to his sons, and so did Jacob; "Oh my sons! Allah hath chosen the Faith for you; then die not except in

the Faith of Islam.”

(2: 131-133)

Advice of Luqman to his sons

Out of Question: Shirk

ر�ك� #ش� ت ال� ��ي #ن ب �ا ي �ع�ظ#ه# ي و�ه#و� �ه� �ن ب ال� #ق�م�ان# ل ق�ال� �ذ� و�إ dع�ظ�يمdم� �ظ#ل ل �ن�الش�ر�ك� إ �ه�  �الل              ب  

Behold, Luqman said to his son by way of instruction: "O my son! join not in worship (others) with Allah: for false worship

is indeed the highest wrong-doing.”(31:13)

Tarbiyah of children by Rasulullah (saw)

• Friendly• Focus on Fard ibadah• Habit formation• Role modeling

Teach Them God’s Word

Begin teaching them the Quran

early

Teach them “diligently” –

keeping it before them at all times

Teach them by living it

Regulate Their Friends

Do not be deceived into thinking that worldly friends will not negatively influence your child. Children may see it as intrusive, especially in the teenage years, but it is necessary – it is your duty to protect them.

Develop Taqwa

و� � أ ف�يالس�م�او�ات� و�

� أ #نف�يص�خ�ر�ة9 �ك ف�ت �ة9م�ن�خ�ر�د�ل9 ح�ب �ق�ال� م�ث �ك# �نت إ �ه�ا �ن إ ��ي #ن �اب ير� ب�ي خ� ر ب�ي خ� خ �� خ ا� خ�� ب�ا �  ه �� خ ا� خ�ا ب� ب� أ�ا خ� �ب �أ �خ� أ� ا ب!ي

"O my son!" (said Luqman), "If there be (but) the weight of a mustard-seed and it were (hidden) in a rock, or (anywhere) in the heavens or on earth, Allah will bring it forth: for Allah understands the finest mysteries, (and) is well-acquainted

(with them).(31: 16)

Teach Taqwah via Life Message

What kind of Quranic truths or principles might be taught in this situation?

Teach taqwah via Life Message

What kind of Quranic truths or principles might be taught in this situation?

Teach Taqwah via Life Message

What kind of Quranic truths or principles might be taught in this situation?

Personality traits

�ر� �م#نك ال ع�ن� �ه� و�ان وف� �م�ع�ر# �ال ب م#ر�� و�أ ة� الص�ال� � �ق�م أ ��ي #ن ب �ا ي

#م#ور� األ� � م ع�ز� م�ن� ذ�Nل�ك� ��ن إ   �ك� ص�اب� م�اأ Nع�ل�ى �ر�  �و�اص�ب

"O my son! establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy

whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs.

(31:18)

Discipline Them Properly

Teach them to respect authority

Teach them to think – discerning right from wrong

Be firm on disobedience

Listen for ways we should communicate

with our children

Teach Them How To Love By Loving

Them

To love them is to value

them

Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) came to some children who were playing: He

greeted them lovingly. (Abu Dawood)

Dress Them Appropriately

Teach them the meaning

and importance of

modesty

Like it or not, clothing sends a

message

Get Them Involved In Good Deeds

Getting them involved in

helping others consistently

will train them to be conscious of others needs.

Words of Wisdom

Let your child play

upto seven years;

And keep him with you

(for education

and training) for another

seven years;

Then let him succeed

(well and good)

Kanwal Kaisser