effective academic writing - students
TRANSCRIPT
Effective academic writing
Source:
Calvin &
Hobbes
Overview of this workshop
3COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING
CENTRE I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
Five features of
academic writing
• structured
• formal
• evidence-based
• critical
• discipline-specific
Warm up article
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I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
In a recent article published by The Guardian, writer Jason Wilson denounces Pete Evans’ Paleo diet by saying, “Paleo isn’t
a fad, it’s a cult that selectively denies the modern world.”
While Wilson’s judgement is too harsh, in my opinion, he does make a very good point. Why has modernity suddenly been
seized by an ideology that prides itself on regression?
The philosophical spine of paleo is that humanity’s diet reached optimum nutritional value during the Paleolithic
period. It dictates that we must refrain from eating anything unavailable or evaded by Palaeolitic man, such as grains and
refined sugar.
Let’s ignore the fact that the era in question sprawled across many centuries and cannot be compartmentalized into strict
dietary guidelines.
A sad reality, however, is that obesity has become the suicidal pandemic of our times. Even worse, obesity has boomed in the
last forty years and shows no signs of declaration.
So if ‘fad diets’ do deter obesity are they really that damaging? And is paleo really a fad diet or a sustainable lifestyle?
I spoke with Frank Marino, Professor of Exercise Physiology at CSU and according to him,“What paleo does is remove all
the processed carbohydrates from a diet and replaces them with natural food that includes a higher fat content.”
I guess this means that when you enter Woolies, you should only shop in the fruit and vegetables, meat counter, and dairy
shelves. The rest of the shop will kill you very slowly.
But, Marino adds “as a cure-all, a panacea, it’s (the paleo) is a recipe for disaster.”
Extract adapted from: Jack Cameron Stanton http://grapeshotmq.com.au/2015/06
We’re not birds!
Warm up article (2)
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CENTRE I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
“Most people are simply not designed to eat pasta”: evolutionary explanations for obesity in the low-carbohydrate diet movement
Evolutionary nutrition is a relatively straightforward concept, based simply on the premise that the human
body has adapted to function best on the diet eaten in the Paleolithic era. The thrifty gene theory
(or thrifty gene hypothesis) is somewhat more complex. It suggests that feast-or-famine conditions during
human evolutionary development naturally selected for people whose bodies were efficient in their use of
food calories (those who could store excess energy as body fat for later use). Unfortunately, in
contemporary conditions of constant dietary abundance, the so-called “thrifty gene” predisposes people to
diabetes and obesity. This dual investment in human evolutionary origins and genetic design as the
guiding principles of proper nutrition mandates close attention to Paleolithic or “primitive” diet, which
therefore functions as the ultimate blueprint for contemporary low-carbohydrate regimes (Knight, 2005,
2006, 2008).
Both evolutionary nutrition and the thrifty gene theory are the subject of intense research and debate
outside the context of low-carbohydrate dieting. At their most extreme, evolutionary nutritionists
advocate a strict “Paleo” diet, excluding virtually all post-agricultural foods. Their maxim is “could I eat this
if I were naked with a sharp stick on the savanna?” (Audette, 1999 p.100). However, evolutionary nutrition
also encompasses less extreme low-carbohydrate regimes. All draw on the evolutionary nutrition model,
often in combination with the thrifty gene theory. Sears (1995) argues that the Paleolithic diet functions as
a kind of “test case” for human health.
Extract adapted from: Christine Knight, 2011, ‘“Most people are simply not designed to eat pasta”:
evolutionary explanations for obesity in the low-carbohydrate diet movement’, Public Understanding of Science, 20(5) 706-719
Warm up exercise guidelines
6
COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING CENTRE
I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
organise yourselves into groups of 3 or 4
read the text that you have been allocated
as a group decide what type of text you have been given
brainstorm the features of your text
check the textual features around the room and collect
the ones that best describe the features of your text
Text features
7
Journal article Campus student newsletter
Formal (tone) Informal (tone)
Objective Subjective
Impersonal language/rational Personal/emotive language
Evidence-based(in-text citations) Opinion-based
Third person Personal pronouns
Statements Rhetorical questions
Evidence Generalisations
Formal language-
concepts/theories/discipline specific
Informal language-contractions,
general terms
Developed paragraphs Short/underdeveloped paragraphs
Sentences begin with conjunctions
(and, …)
Effective academic writing is…
structured
How would you structure
the following?
• Letter
• Blog
• Essay
• Job application
• Business report
Different
genres have
specific
‘rules’ or
patterns of
writing
Structured
9
OVERALL (MACRO) STRUCTURE
Image: Curtin University, n.d.
STRUCTURE OF AN ESSAY
…Structured
10
A. In the UK, the distance walked per year by each individual has fallen
from 410 km year in 1975–76 to 323 km year in 2006.
B. These low levels of walking contribute to the overall decrease in
physical activity, in turn leading to a higher incidence of obesity and
diabetes.
C. Jobs themselves have become less physical, people are more likely
to take the lift than walk the stairs, and adults and children are more
likely to travel to work or school by car than to walk or bicycle.
D. One serious concern in the UK is the falling levels of physical
activity.
E. Similarly, the percentage of children aged 5–10 years walking to
school has decreased by 15% from 67% during 1985–1986 to 52% in
2006.
ACTIVITY: PUT THE SENTENCES IN ORDER
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high naturaland heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
Paragraph sequencing activity
11
Answer: 1.D, 2. C, 3. A, 4. E, 5. B
Main idea: physical activity has dropped
Jobs are less physical, commuting to work or school by car (less
walking)
Changes in distance walked over a year
Changes in number of students who walk to school
Low levels of walking related to overall decrease in physical activity
Answers
…structured
12
Help your reader with
1. Organisation of ideas
• Generalspecific
• Process (steps in the order they are done)
• Chronology (time)
• Compare/ contrast (similarities and
differences)
2. Linking words
Show how ideas relate to each other
OTHER FEATURES OF AN ACADEMIC PARAGRAPH
…structured
13
Function Linking word/signpost
To introduce an additional idea And, another, also, too, moreover,
furthermore, as well as, additionally
Opposite idea
Example
Restatement or explanation
Conclusion or summary
Chronological order
Order of importance
Result or effect
Comparison
Concession
LINKING WORDS
…structured
14OFFICE I FACULTY I DEPARTMENT
Function Linking word/signpost
To introduce an additional idea And, another, also, too, moreover, furthermore,
as well as, additionally
Opposite idea In contrast, contrastingly, nonetheless
nevertheless
Example For example, exemplified, for instance,
highlighted, demonstrated, evidenced by
Restatement or explanation Indeed
Conclusion or summary In conclusion/summary, to conclude
Chronological order First of all, firstly, after that, since then, finally
Order of importance Above all, significantly, more importantly, most
importantly
Result or effect Accordingly, as a result, thus, hence,
therefore, it follows that
Comparison Similarly, likewise, both, also
Concession Despite, in spite of, though/although, however,
whereas
LINKING WORDS- COMPLETE
…structured
15
Read the following paragraph and choose words/ phrases to show how the
ideas in the paragraph link to each other
There are, _________, limitations to this study. ________, the study
population was only representative of the visitors questioned on the
days surveyed. _________ findings should be treated with caution
when applying them to the general population. _________, _________
most participants reported improvement to self-esteem and mood, this
effect was fairly small. The sampling method may ________ have led
to some bias, _________ the study only included those people
choosing to visit the sites and did not include the views of those who
chose not to visit. ________, other factors _______ the weather,
temperature, amount of vegetation, or colours may all affect the
experience.
PARAGRAPH ACTIVITY
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high naturaland heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
…structured
16
Read the following paragraph and choose words/ phrases to show how the
ideas in the paragraph link to each other
There are, __however_, limitations to this study. __First__, the study
population was only representative of the visitors questioned on the
days surveyed. _Therefore, findings should be treated with caution
when applying them to the general population. _Secondly, _although_
most participants reported improvement to self-esteem and mood, this
effect was fairly small. The sampling method may ___also__ have led to
some bias, __because_ the study only included those people choosing
to visit the sites and did not include the views of those who chose not to
visit. _Finally_, other factors _such as_ the weather, temperature,
amount of vegetation, or colours may all affect the experience.
PARAGRAPH ACTIVITY- ANSWERS
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high naturaland heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
Academic Writing is structured
17
Have I… Yes No
Explained my main idea in a
sentence near the beginning of
the paragraph?
Organised supporting
sentences in a logical order?
Used linking words/ phrases to
show the relationships between
ideas?
Effective academic writing is
formal
18
Is the following text formal? Why/ why not?
So what’s the best way to exercise? Walking is
the #1 activity if you want to get healthy. It’s
cheap, and you don’t have to have any special
gear to do it. And it’s pretty convenient, since
people can make time whenever and where ever
it suits them to. For me, the pluses are that
walking helps drop the K’s and makes it easier to
run for a bus.
Features of formal writing
(with some warnings!)
19
Academic writing…
1.Follows conventions
2.Uses discipline-specific/ technical words
and phrases
3.Doesn’t always use I-you-we
4. Expresses abstract ideas by nominalising
20
Formal writing: follows conventions
Some Conventions Examples
Contractions it’s it is
Abbreviations K’s Kilos
Conjunctions at the start of sentences
And it’s pretty convenientIt is also…
Prepositions at the end of sentences
…whenever it suits them to. …whenever it suits them to do so.
Rhetorical questions So what’s the best way to exercise? Research generally agrees that walking is the best form of exercise.
21
Replace ‘empty’ words and phrases (stuff, thing,
make, get, do) with words that are discipline-
specific/ technical. This shows
• you are thinking about/ learning about the topic
• how much you understand about the concepts
WARNING:
1. Think about who your reader will be. If your assignment is to explain a
concept to a client (who is not an expert) you will need to use everyday
vocabulary that they understand.
2. If you don’t understand a word or a term, DON”T USE IT. Your reader will
know!
Formal writing: uses discipline-
specific/ technical terms
22
For some assignments and some disciplines, it is not appropriate to use these
pronouns:
WARNING: For some assignments (such as observations and reflections),
you’ll NEED “I”, “we” to talk about what happened and how you felt or what
you learned. Think carefully about what the assignment is asking for, and
check your unit guide.
Formal writing: Doesn’t always
use I-you-we
Pronoun When it’s not needed
I Opinions not supported by evidence
I think Mad Max is a great film
You To generalise
When you study for an exam, you should prepare in advance
We Generalisations not supported by evidence
We all know people who don’t say ‘thank you’ are selfish
23
Nominalising= turning verbs into nouns
People who walk a lot find it easier to move their
joints.
People who walk a lot have better flexibility.
Walking increases flexibility.
WARNING- it’s better to express your ideas clearly than to use many complex
structures incorrectly.
Formal writing: Expresses
abstract ideas by nominalising
Formal writing
24
So what’s the best way to exercise? Walking is the
#1 activity if you want to get healthy. It’s cheap,
and you don’t have to have any special gear to do
it. And it’s pretty convenient, since people can
make time whenever and where ever it suits them
to. For me, the pluses are that walking helps drop
the K’s and makes it easier to run for a bus.
ACTIVITY
Rewrite the example paragraph we’ve looked at using a
more formal style
Formal writing
25
Walking is the most effective outdoor activity for
reaching recommended physical activity targets. It
is a natural activity, which is inexpensive and
requires no special skills or equipment. It is also
convenient and can be routinely incorporated into
daily lifestyles. Walking increases aerobic
performance, and helps prevent cardiovascular
disease and obesity.
ACTIVITY: SAMPLE ANSWER
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high naturaland heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
Academic writing is formal
26
Have I… Yes No
Used the conventions of formal
writing?
Used words and phrases from my
discipline?
Decided whether my assignment
needs I-you-we?
Expressed abstract ideas by nominalising?
Critical: A word that’s everywhere!
27
The word critical comes from the Latin root criticus.
It has many meanings and uses at university.
Academic writing is
critical
28
In academic writing, the word critical involves:
CRITICAL
Examiningcarefully
Evaluating carefully
Judging carefully
The importance of critical thinking in writing (see StudyWISE)
Descriptive Writing Critical Analytical Writing
States what happened Identifies the significance of what happened
States or outlines features,
characteristics, or
components
Evaluates the importance of features and
components (e.g. strengths and
weaknesses)
Explains what a theory
saysShows why the theory is relevant or suitable
Explains how something
works
Indicates why something is likely to or will
work
Describes the research
methods used
Decides if the research methods used are
appropriate and why
States conclusions
Gives reasons for conclusions, including
specific recommendations or future
possibilities
What does critical writing involve?
30
Writing critically requires:
1. Approaching information independently and reflectively.
What does critical writing involve?
31
Writing critically requires:
2. Thinking logically, objectively and without bias.
What does critical writing involve?
32
Writing critically requires:
3. Interpreting and evaluating authoritative evidence.
What does critical writing involve?
33
Writing critically requires:
4. Building coherent and substantiated arguments.
What does critical writing involve?
34
Writing critically requires:
5. Humility, perseverance and multiple drafts.
Academic writing is
critical
35
This means answering the question
For example: flickr.com
why is this debate important ?
why is this concept significant /flawed/ debatable?
why is this methodology appropriate?
Why is this reading controversial / valid / relevant ?
why are these findings valuable / contested ?
Critical writing activity
36
Read the extracts in your handout and:
• Underline the evidence provided in each extract.
• Decide whether or not the evidence is convincing.
• You should consider:
o the type of evidence used
o if the evidence is relevant
o if the evidence relies on generalisations
o if the evidence relies on assumptions
o if the evidence is biased.
Thinking & writing critically: a summary
37
Academic writing is
critical
Have I ?
Hav
pixabay.com
38
Have I ? Yes No
answered relevant why questions
argued logically and objectively
supported claims with appropriate,
reliable evidence
Academic writing is
evidence-based
What is not academic in these statements from student essays?
It is obvious that children with learning difficulties should be integrated in regular classrooms.
Americans do not travel much, so none of them are very aware of the world outside their country’s borders.
The oil crisis was caused by OPEC’s actions.
Academic writing is
cautious
It is obvious that children with learning difficulties should be integrated in regular classrooms.
Americans do not travel much, so none of them are very aware of the world outside their country’s borders.
Research has proved that the oil crisis was caused by OPEC’s actions.
Instead:Several studies indicate that when children with learning difficulties are integrated into regular classrooms, their learning outcomes tend to be better (Li, 2009; Jones, 2012; Smith, 2012).
Instead: Americans travel outside their borders significantly less than Europeans, according to Camber (2012). This may result in less awareness of other cultures.
Instead: Flabitz, Tang & Palgrave’s study (2005) suggests that OPEC’s actions probably contributed to the oil crisis.
may
might
could
So…we use words that express
uncertainty & caution
modal verbs
sometimes
often
frequently
adverbs of
time
possibly
probablyother
adverbs
tend do
appear to
seem to
introductory
verbs
suggest
indicatereporting
verbs
some
likely
possibleadjectives
Academic writing is
supported by citations
At the end of a sentence
Using a reporting phrase
Using a reporting verb
Instead:Several studies indicate that when children with learning difficulties are integrated into regular classrooms, their learning outcomes tend to be better (Li, 2009; Jones, 2012; Smith, 2012).
Instead: Americans travel outside their borders significantly less than Europeans, according to Camber (2012). This may result in less awareness of other cultures.
Instead: Flabitz, Tang & Palgrave’s study (2005) suggests that OPEC’s actions probably contributed to the oil.
When you use the ideas of others…
Use a direct quote (enclose the writer’s words in quotation marks)
Which technique do you
think is most common?
Example paraphrase
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
ParaphraseRedman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in medical services is well supported by research.
SummaryThe necessary research into health needs to guide a rational process of prioritisation is lacking (Redman, 2015).
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved fromhttps://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
What stayed the same?
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
ParaphraseRedman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved fromhttps://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research..
What stayed the same?
ParaphraseRedman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide rational decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
health
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved fromhttps://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
datahealth services
research
health
health services
data
research
What vocabulary changed?
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
ParaphraseRedman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved fromhttps://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
What vocabulary changed?
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
ParaphraseRedman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved fromhttps://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
priorities
prioritise
improved
objectively
reduce
subjective
What vocabulary changed?
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions
. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their
through research.
ParaphraseRedman (2015) argues that,
, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce
in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved fromhttps://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
priorities
prioritise
improved
objectively
reduce
subjective
What about sentence structure?
Two sentences
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
One sentence, three clausesRedman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved fromhttps://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
Summarising – another technique
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
SummaryThe research into health needs required to guide a rational process of prioritisation is lacking (Redman, 2015).
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved fromhttps://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
You try now!
Original text:
College students with later class start times slept longer, experienced less daytime sleepiness, and were less likely to miss class. The benefits of taking later classes did not extend to academic performance, however; grades were somewhat lower in students with predominantly late class schedules.
Onyper, P., Thacher, P.V., Gilbert, J.W. & Gradess, S.G.. (2012). ‘Class start times, sleep and academic performance in college: A path analysis. Chronobiology International, 29(3), pp 227-251.
Log in to Socrative and post a paraphrase.
www.socrative.comRoom number: SLIFETT9
Your answers will show on screen but they are anonymous.
You try now!
Original text:
College students with later class start times slept longer, experienced less daytime sleepiness, and were less likely to miss class. The benefits of taking later classes did not extend to academic performance, however; grades were somewhat lower in students with predominantly late class schedules.
Onyper, P., Thacher, P.V., Gilbert, J.W. & Gradess, S.G.. (2012). ‘Class start times, sleep and academic performance in college: A path analysis. Chronobiology International, 29(3), pp 227-251.
Possible paraphrase:
Onyper et al. (2012) found that when students enrolled in classes that started later, they had lengthier periods of sleep, fewer absences and less drowsiness during the day. Nevertheless, their academic results were not as good.
Possible summary:Students enrolling in later classes show increased attendance and alertness but decreased grades.
A few tips for paraphrasing
Sources http://owll.massey.ac.nz/referencing/paraphrasing-techniques.phphttp://learningcommons.sfu.ca/sites/default/files/179/techniquesforparaphrasing.pdf
• Change a word from one part of speech to another (for example, from noun phrase to verb phrase)
• Use synonyms (e.g. strong – powerful) for everyday words
• Do not change the key words/terminology
• Change the word order, sentence structure and order of sentences
• Use different connecting words than in the original text
• Make sure you include in-text citation of sources
Academic Integrity Module
for Students
• Acceptable and unacceptable academic practices
• How to properly acknowledge sources and avoid plagiarism
Online resource
Academic writing is
evidence-based
Have I ?
Hav
pixabay.com
56
Have I ? Yes No
used hedging language when
appropriate?
supported my arguments with
citations?
paraphrased the original texts?
Academic writing is
discipline-specific
• Different types of texts are used in different disciplines (e.g. business report in finance, economics and accounting, case studies, laboratory reports in science, essays in arts and other disciplines.
• Go to StudyWISE for help with different texts.
• Read texts in your area.
59
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Workshop reflections & evaluation