emotional intelligence: achieving leadership...

Personal Journal for Course 3411

Emotional Intelligence: Achieving Leadership Success

3411/WB/F.2/410/F.1

Name:________________________

by Phillip R. Walker

Technical Editor: Judi Williams

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3411-WB-i © All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced without prior written consent.

Personal Journal Contents

Introduction .......................................................................................................................... iii

Your Emotional Vocabulary ................................................................................................. 1

Activity 0.2: My Emotional Barometer .................................................................................. 3

Debrief: My Emotional Barometer ....................................................................................... 5

Activity 2.2: Emotional Intelligence Appraisal ...................................................................... 7

Activity 2.3: Qualitative Assessment of EQ (QAE) ............................................................. 11

Activity 7.1:Self-Talk Action Planning ................................................................................ 17

Activity 7.2: Moving Forward ............................................................................................. 19

Section II: Personal Reflection .......................................................................................... 21

Chapter 0 Personal Reflection ........................................................................................... 23







3411-WB-iii © All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced without prior written consent.

Introduction

Your Personal Journal is a learning tool designed to increase emotional competence based upon activities, lectures, discussions, which you have critically reflected upon. It is both a “structured application” strategy and an internalizing aid that requires you to keep an ongoing journal of your learning. As a personal record of your learning and action steps, it is unique to you. It offers an opportunity for you to record insights, breakthroughs, new knowledge, and skills. Therefore, it has relevance only to you, and cannot be “right” or “wrong.” Use your Personal Journal to record, structure, think about, reflect upon, plan, develop, and evidence your learning and action steps for strengthening leadership through greater emotional competence.

Middle Eastern Mystic "I was a revolutionary when I was young and all my prayer to God was: 'Lord, give me the energy to change the world.' As I approached middle age and realized that my life was half gone without changing a single soul, I changed my prayer to: ‘Lord, give me the grace to change all those who come into contact with me, just my family and friends, and I shall be satisfied.' Now that I am an old man and my days are numbered, I have begun to see how foolish I have been. My one prayer now is: 'Lord, give me the grace to change myself.' If I had prayed for this right from the start, I would not have wasted my life."

----Quoted in Paul Wharton, Stories and Parables for Preachers and Teachers (Mahwah: Paulist, 1986)

3411-WB-iv © All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced without prior written consent.

Introduction (continued) Consider your Personal Journal as an executive summary of the benefits you’ve derived from your training. Toward this end, capture “notes in brief” relative to learning breakthroughs and key information pertinent to your growth and development based on:

Activities in which you work alone or with course members Personal reflective activities following each chapter, which enable you

to think more deeply about your learning Analyzing and commenting on your own emotions and feelings Looking at the learning points from different points of view Exploring and explaining the importance or relevance of the

learning Considering what the material means to you Recording flashes of insight as they occur Identifying how your insight and learning will influence the way

you work I invite you to take full advantage of this opportunity to increase your emotional competence, and find application in both your professional and personal life.

Phillip R. Walker, Ph.D. Organizational Psychologist Course Author

3411-WB-1 © All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced without prior written consent.

Your Emotional Vocabulary

Intensity of Feelings

HAPPY SAD ANGRY FEAR SHAME

HIGH Elated Excited Overjoyed Thrilled Exuberant Ecstatic Fired up Passionate

Depressed Agonized Alone Hurt Dejected Hopeless Sorrowful Miserable

Furious Enraged Outraged Boiling Irate Seething Loathsome Betrayed

Terrified Horrified Scared stiff Petrified Fearful Panicky Frantic Shocked

Sorrowful Remorseful Defamed Worthless Disgraced Dishonored Mortified Admonished

MEDIUM Cheerful

Gratified Good Relieved Satisfied Glowing

Heartbroken Somber Lost Distressed Let down Melancholy

Upset Mad Defended Frustrated Agitated Disgusted

Apprehensive Frightened Threatened Insecure Uneasy Intimidated

Apologetic Unworthy Sneaky Guilty Embarrassed Secretive

LOW Glad

Contented Pleasant Tender Pleased Mellow

Unhappy Moody Blue Upset DisappointedDissatisfied

Perturbed Annoyed Uptight Resistant Irritated Touchy

Cautious Nervous Worried Timid Unsure Anxious

Bashful Ridiculous Regretful UncomfortablePitied Silly

Adapted from Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, TalentSmart,

San Diego: 2009 (Adapted From Julia West)


Activity 0.2: My Emotional Barometer

After reviewing the list of emotion words on the “Your Emotional Vocabulary” page, complete the 12 statements provided below. You may use as many words needed to describe your emotional experience.

1 When I was registering for this course, I felt:

2 Last week at the office, I felt

3 When I think about my job, I feel:

4 When I completed my last e-mail conversation, I felt:

5 When I woke up this morning, I felt:

6 When I was traveling to class today, I felt:

7 When I arrived in class today, I felt:

8 Yesterday evening, I felt:

9 When I was ready for bed last night, I felt:

10 When I think about leading people, I feel:

11 Most of the time, I feel:

12 Right now, I feel:


Debrief: My Emotional Barometer

Q1. What did you notice about your reaction in completing this activity?

Q2. What stands out about your responses?

Q3. What was most challenging?

Based on your responses, rate your management of emotions on a five-point scale

1 2 3 4 5

Challenging Fair Average Good Great


Activity 2.2: Emotional Intelligence Appraisal

What did you find most useful or valuable about your EIA results? 1. Review your emotional competence in relation to your objectives for this course 2. For each of the four emotional competencies, identify the target behaviors that you are committed to changing after this course to improve your performance and leadership effectiveness. Specify which behaviors you will stop and which behaviors you will start.

Self-Awareness

Stop

Start


Activity 2.2: Emotional Intelligence Appraisal (continued)

Self-Management

Stop

Start


Activity 2.2: Emotional Intelligence Appraisal

(continued)

Social Awareness

Stop

Start


Activity 2.2: Emotional Intelligence Appraisal (continued)

Relationship Management

Stop Start


Activity 2.3: Qualitative Assessment of EQ (QAE)

Instructions Be as honest and objective as you can in responding to the questions below. Make notes in the right-hand column as you work through questions provided. If you find any of these questions challenging, consider why this might be. What might it be telling you? Be sure to answer the final questions on process and areas of focus for this course.

Self-Awareness Your thoughts, insights, and conclusions

How do you know when you are angry rather than just a bit irritated?

How do you know when you are overjoyed and excited rather than just pleased?

What is it that irritates you about other people (including colleagues and customers)?

Are there situations or events that always seem to create the same positive response in you?

Are there situations or events that always seem to create the same negative response in you?


Activity 2.3: Qualitative Assessment of EQ (QAE) (continued)

Self-Management Your thoughts, insights, and conclusions

How do you deal with anger? Do you bottle it up? Direct it at someone else? Become aggressive?

What impact does this have on you and others?

How do you deal with fear or anxiety? Do you retreat into yourself? Do you use alcohol, nicotine, or medication? Do you talk to other people?

How do you deal with guilt? Do you find it difficult to apologize or take steps to mend situations? Why is this?

Can you think of someone you know who seems strong on this competency?



(continued)

Social Awareness Your thoughts, insights, and conclusions

How often do you misinterpret how someone is feeling?

Do you try to cover it up? Do you force yourself through the moment, or tackle it openly and admit you’ve got things wrong?

Is there a pattern to when this happens?

How well do you feel you empathize with people around you? Do others seem to be better at this than you, or vice versa?

Do some people just seem “alien” to you (i.e., no matter how hard you try, you cannot figure out how they are feeling or understand their perspective)?

Is there a clear type of person or role that seems alien to you? How do you deal with these people? What would be a more effective way to handle this?


Activity 2.3: Qualitative Assessment of EQ (QAE) (continued) Relationship Management Your thoughts, insights, and conclusions

How comfortable are you dealing with arguments or disagreements? Do you remain calm? How often do you manage to resolve conflict?

Do you bear grudges? Have you allowed a relationship to remain sour over a long period?

How comfortable are you receiving compliments? Are you able to say thank you without feeling embarrassed? Do you deflect or shrug off the compliment in some way?

Think back to when someone gave you their great news. How did you really feel privately? Were you really thrilled for that person? Were you resentful or envious? Did you not really care at all?

How did you actually respond? Did your words really match your feelings?



(continued)

This process

How did it feel completing these questions?

What did you learn about yourself and your emotional intelligence competencies?

Areas of Focus

Putting together your emotional intelligence appraisal results along with this feedback, identify areas for personal development based on your thoughts and insights


Activity 7.1:Self-Talk Action Planning Reflect on the action items presented below. On the right side, note down any insights, ideas, or suggestions to yourself or things to remember in moving forward in your developmental journey.

Self-Talk

• Over the next week, I am committed to listening carefully to my self-talk

• I will identify when it is critical, negative, or questioning of my words or actions

• I will notice the negative internal messages I hear and think about, and where they are coming from


Activity 7.2: Moving Forward

In reflecting on the course, read through Personal Reflections for each chapter in “Developing My EQ Plan.” Think for a few minutes about the learning breakthroughs that you’ve experienced and recorded this week. Summarize any major takeaways, including follow-up action items. The template below is provided for your convenience to help you apply learning. Be prepared to share with the class.

I realize that the strengths that I can carry forth in developing my EQ include:

________________________________________________________________________

My greatest concern is in relation to the following things that I’ve noticed:

__________________________________________________________________________ The most impactful experience for this week, relative to my learning, consisted of:

Moving forward, I intend to support my learning by specifically:


Section II: Personal Reflection

Personal Reflection is designed as a “stretch activity” to facilitate self-awareness. It offers an opportunity for you to self-reflect on or think about your experience and learning relative to the chapter in question. Be sure to complete each statement regardless of how challenging it may be.


Chapter 0 Personal Reflection

In reflecting on Chapter 0 (Introduction and Overview)

I realized that I:

________________________________________________________________________

I noticed that I:

I felt that I: ________________________________________________________________________ I was surprised that I:

Moving forward, this chapter will influence me in terms of:

What might I need to find out more about?



In reflecting on Chapter 1 (Basics of Emotional Intelligence)

I realized that I:

________________________________________________________________________

I noticed that I:

I felt that I: ________________________________________________________________________ I was surprised that I:





In reflecting on Chapter 2 (Self Awareness: The Key to Emotional Intelligence)

I realized that I:

_________________________________________________________________________

I noticed that I:

I felt that I: __________________________________________________________________________ I was surprised that I:





In reflecting on Chapter 3 (The Skilled Self-Manager)

I realized that I:

_________________________________________________________________________

I noticed that I:

I felt that I: ________________________________________________________________________________ I was surprised that I:





In reflecting on Chapter 4 (Leading With Courage)

I realized that I

_________________________________________________________________________

I noticed that I

I felt that I __________________________________________________________________________ I was surprised that I

Moving forward, this chapter will influence me in terms of




In reflecting on Chapter 5 (Interpersonal Effectiveness: Social Awareness and Relationship Management)

I realized that I:

_________________________________________________________________________

I noticed that I:






In reflecting on Chapter 6 (Building An Emotionally Intelligent Team)

I realized that I:

_________________________________________________________________________

I noticed that I:




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