english is funny
TRANSCRIPT
is
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
No pine or apple in the pineapple
English Muffins were notinvented in England
French fries were notinvented in France
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
A Guinea Pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
If the past tense of “teach” is “taught”, why isn’t the past tense of “preach” “praught” instead of “preached”?
6
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
then what the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?
Park on drivewaysand drive on parkways?
How can the weather be hot as hell on one day and cold as hell on another?
A house can burn up as it burns down,
and you fill in a form by filling it out
When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible
And why is it that when I wind up my watchit starts, but when I wind up this story it ends
If the plural of mouse is mice, then why isn’t the plural of house hice?
If the plural of man is always men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet, when I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular is this, and the plural is these, why shouldn’t the plural of kiss be kese?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
The plural of box is boxes; but why should the plural of ox be oxen and not oxes?
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,but though we say mother, we never say
methren.
16
The End
17